Sins of My Past
by content1
Summary: Bella was left by Edward to clean up the ruins of her life after his betrayal. What happens when Edward finds out that not all was as it seems. What are the consequences of his sins and what will he do to get her back? AH TwiFanFicRecs: Top Ten October 2012; Best Rec'd on Fan Fic Fridays 2012
1. Green Eyes

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**To my peeps and amazing pre-readers, Suzie55 and LemonMartinis, who encouraged me to put this out there, and TwiLoverSue who told me to venture in.**

**For those that might be coming over from my all vamp stories…hiding behind hands. I've caved. So here it goes, my venture into the all-human realm. I know…stories of Edward, Bella, and baby are a dime a dozen, but I hope you'll find a little to like about my twists. For those that have read my other stories, you know what I mean.**

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><p>Edward POV<p>

Downtown Seattle spread out before me like a sprawling disease. From atop the tower of Cullen Enterprises, everything seemed so insignificant…the city, the people, the business. On days when the clouds encroached, I couldn't see anything below me. I liked those days, when I could cocoon myself away from everyone, everything, and every feeling. Today, on this rare clear fall day, the sun shone brightly highlighting those far below me. September 13th…how appropriate that everything would be bathed in such a bright glow, it was a day to celebrate. Bella's birthday…

Chocolate brown eyes swam before me, while darkness and despair beat against me, taunting me with the things I'd done.

I knew now that I'd made a horrid mistake. Fifteen years ago, I destroyed my only chance for happiness, but I'd been unable to acknowledge it then. Fueled by the filth and lies insidiously implanted by a vengeful and jealous girl, I'd allowed myself to doubt…to doubt her love for me, to doubt the words she'd told me so unselfishly, and to doubt myself and my ability to be loved just for me, separate from the things and wealth my family could supply.

"_Edward, please, if you ever felt even the slightest thing for me, call me. It's important." _

I could still recite the first message with clarity. Only two more had come. The next was a few days later, an almost duplicate of the first.

"_Edward. For the love of God. If you ever really loved me, I need you to call me. It is very important_."

The biggest difference had been that the first message had ended on a soft sob. The second had held a trace of panic. It had taken me a long time to really decipher it…the emotion.

The third and last one had come a month later. Her voice had been hoarse, as if she had been crying but had waited out the tears to make the call.

"_Edward. This will be my last call. I will not trouble you again. Your silence has made your desires quite clear. I make one last plea to you. Please call me or email me, just contact me please. It is a matter of importance."_

But what made my gut clench was the way she'd ended the call.

"_No matter what you believe, or have been told, I love you beyond all possible explanation. I always will."_

I'd scoffed with my brother when I received them, or honestly I should say, I'd scoffed and Emmett had shifted uncomfortably. He hadn't believed Tanya even then. I shouldn't have either, but she'd been a family friend for years, and I'd been insecure. I'd believed her when she said that Bella only cared for me because of my money. Even at seventeen, I'd already seen what people would do for the love of it. It was why my mom had insisted that we leave Seattle in the first place and move to Forks. My dad teleconferenced for most of his business from home and kept a penthouse in Seattle for when it was necessary to be available for a meeting.

We were supposed to meet people who wouldn't look at our family name and automatically make assumptions…and we had. Emmett had been right, the rest of us had been wrong.

Of course, it had been many years later before Tanya admitted to her trickery. I'd fucked her on the bed where I'd taken Bella's virginity, attempting to wipe the memories from my mind. Even at seventeen, Tanya had been a pro between the sheets, and for at least a year I'd lost myself in her body and the drugs I used to mask the pain of Bella's betrayal. My mom and dad packed up and left Forks within a week of my meltdown at Forks High, and I couldn't be happier because it did give me better access to my blond fix and dealers. Eventually, I couldn't even look Tanya in the face, and it was then I realized she'd been after the money all along. Why I didn't know, because her family was independently wealthy as well, but I hadn't realized that money had been an addiction with her.

Years later, Tanya finally met Garrett, who turned out to be the true love of her life and in doing so came to her own realizations. The shock on my family's face as she told us of her betrayal was monstrous. She'd made up the story of Bella's betrayal. Bella had never cheated with Jacob, she'd never bragged that she was getting to the Cullen money, and she'd never laughed about us being gullible. The real monsters had been us for blindly believing such vicious and silly lies. The disclosure had come almost seven years to the date that I'd humiliated Bella in front of the entire school and called her a calculating whore. Actually, that was one of the nicer things I'd called her. I cringed even today to think of the filth that had fallen from my lips and the devastation in her brown eyes as she'd reached for me and I'd backed away.

Doubt of Bella's guilt had been rooted within my mind for years, having bloomed as soon as I cleaned myself out from all the junk I used in my attempt to erase her. Hearing Tanya's words that day only solidified the sick feeling in my stomach.

Alice had sobbed uncontrollably. She'd betrayed her best friend over a woman that we realized we hadn't known well at all. Bella's calls to Esme had gone unanswered, and Carlisle had had her escorted off the hospital property when she attempted to contact him there. She'd obviously given up and didn't even attempt to approach Emmett…which ironically, might have been her best avenue. I'd wondered in the years that'd passed if our doorman had ever turned away a brown eyed, brown haired woman. I doubted it. If Isabella Swan was smart, which she was, she'd stay away from my worthless ass. She did visit me in my dreams every night though, and most often in my arms as I took my physical needs out on the women I used.

I'd hired a private detective to search for her the day after Tanya's revelations, but then only allowed him two days to research before I regained my wits and paid him off. It had been seven years. Surely, Bella had gone on to meet someone and make a good life. I would not be a monster and ruin it for her. But in those two days, he'd been able to uncover some very heart wrenching information. Charlie had died a little more than six months after we left Forks. He'd been at work and received an emergency call from Olympia. He was hit by a drunk driver and killed instantaneously on his way. The investigator had also interviewed some of Bella's friends at Forks High. She'd never returned to the school after the day I turned into a raving lunatic. Neither Angela nor Jessica had heard from her at that time.

What had happened to Bella that she would disappear so totally? I could only imagine how she felt losing Charlie. Although she was friendly with Renee, she'd always lived with Charlie and they had been extremely close. Moving to Florida, which is what I'd assumed she did, had probably been like moving to a foreign country with a roommate with whom you'd only traded letters.

It was one more thing to add to my list of sins. I should have been there to cradle her in her grief. Instead, I'd been high on coke and screwing Tanya when it happened.

My family had attempted so many times to get me to look for her. As they saw me build the shell stronger and stronger around me, they'd thrown everything at me. Alice had almost broken me the day she came to my house and spent hours crying in my arms.

"_How could I do that to her, Edward? I knew better. I still remember the day she came to the house and I shoved her down the stairs. She lay at the foot of them for a few minutes stunned, as if she was attempting to make sure she was okay. I was so angry to think that she'd only wanted me for what she could get. I watched her eyes cloud over as she gently pushed off the ground. Something died in her that day. She never said a word as she turned and walked away from me. I was calling her all kinds of names, and she never responded. Something close to panic filled me even then. The thought went through my mind that she didn't act like someone who was just looking for money."_

"_Please let me look for her," she begged._

"_Alice, what do you honestly think we could say at this point to her that would make what we did right? What could we say that would undo the hurt we caused her!"_

"_You could tell her that you are still in love with her, that you never stopped."_

I'd had to close my eyes at the pain that roared through me. Love? Certainly, I loved her. But I hadn't even realized in my naivety what that word really meant back then. Then, love had been the feel of Bella's lips against mine. It had been a moonlit night out under the stars and the feel that nothing could defeat us. It had been the look of total completion in her face as I took her virginity, as she'd clench under me and shattered, whispering my name in adoration. The feel of her velvet walls sucking at me…I'd never felt such completion…such lust and love combined. No…love…true love didn't slice someone open in front of a bunch of heckling teenagers and leave them bleeding on the floor for the vampires to feast off of.

Now, I loved Bella even more than I did then. Because after cleaning myself up and facing the sickness that had become Edward Cullen, I realized that my love for her had changed. In the memories of the last moments of our relationship, I saw what Bella had taught me as I destroyed her. I saw the tenacity that true love had. I saw the respect true love had. More importantly, I saw the wisdom true love had. Bella had never called again. She'd given me the opportunity, and I'd thrown it away, while I laughed drunkenly.

Now, I loved her enough to let her go. To let her enjoy the peace I was certain she'd found. I envied the man that had her in his arms. I prayed every day that he loved her half of what I did.

Before I came to my peace though, I'd done everything I could to burn her out of me. At first, it had been out of anger and cynicism. As the fog had cleared and after Tanya had admitted to her betrayal, my attempts had been as much to protect her. The need within me to find her had grown exponentially, and I'd funneled it into becoming a cad. I'd screwed more women than I could fathom. I'd never promised them anything, but that hadn't been a successful plan as many had done highly visible things to ensnare me. I'd embarrassed my family immeasurable times. Nothing had worked. Redheads blended into brunettes, and blue eyes faded to brown as I used them. Nothing filled the void her loss had created in my heart. My hand clutched at my chest at the throbbing hole there.

I leaned my head against the cool pane of glass before me. Somewhere out in that world breathed my other half.

A stirring at the door brought me back from my memories, and I turned to see my father. I couldn't help but smile at him. Sleek and fit, he looked more like my and Emmett's brother than our dad. He and Esme were enjoying the high life, loving the opportunities to play with their grandchildren. He adored Alice and Jasper, and Emmett and Rosalie's babies. Beautiful bouncing babies who were secure in the love that surrounded them. There's that pain again…

I looked back out the window attempting to realign my facial features, but I hadn't done it quick enough.

"Edward?" he said just to my side. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head and attempted to brush it off.

"Is everyone ready?" I asked, attempting to distract him.

It didn't work, but he respected me enough to not push me. He was exasperated though. It was apparent in his voice, "Yes, we were waiting on you. I came to see what had delayed you."

"Very well, I'm sorry to keep you waiting."

We entered the plush conference room and the eyes of my two siblings, their mates, and mother zeroed in on me. I saw Carlisle shrug from the corner of my eye. It was a clear message to leave me alone.

We all listened as the many charities came in petitioning for our support. It was one of the things we all did together – and if I surreptitiously arranged it for this day every year, no one knew the better. It was when one of the women mentioned the date that I heard Alice gasp. I knew she'd finally determined the reason for my morose behavior. She attempted to catch my eyes, but I ignored her. Finally she stretched out under the table and kicked me…hard.

I cursed out loud, embarrassing myself before the woman presenting on behalf of one of the children's hospitals. My mother's horrified face filled my view. I was going to pay Alice back if it was the last thing I did. I got myself into enough trouble, I didn't need her help.

"I apologize," I said to the stuttering blond. She was pretty, and I turned on my charm. It had never let me down. "Thinking of the kids that go without medical care, because of the lack of funding, upsets me. I will personally bank roll your request," I said, smiling. It worked. She sputtered the whole way out the door.

"Edward…" Alice started but then her words were interrupted by a noise outside the room.

Mrs. Brown, our receptionist, was arguing with someone.

"Miss, miss…you can't go in there."

We heard a soft voice muttering at her.

The door then shut, but we could hear the arguing escalate.

We were expecting the next person, but instead Mrs. Brown stepped in and looked directly at me.

"Mr. Cullen, I apologize, but there is a young lady here, and she insists on seeing you."

Emmett snorted something like "take a number" under his breath with disgust. He didn't appreciate my haphazard approach to sex. He thought I needed to find someone to settle down with. He, of course, knew why that was impossible for me.

Her face remained professional. "She indicates that she is your daughter."

That brought another round of comments from the table. I'd had numerous "children" show up over the years, egged on by the stupid mistakes in women I'd indulged in and their greed. After the first years, I'd been smart enough to use condoms, buying only the best ones, hoping that I'd never have the whole "broken one" episode. Luckily, all the imposters had turned out not to be mine. At least the latest episode attached to my indulgences had my mom glaring at me for something other than the outburst with the hospital administrator. She loved me, there was no doubt, but my refusal to speak about the things that haunted me worried her. She knew my sexual liaisons were just one of the ways I buried the pain. She groaned every time the newspaper featured a picture of me with someone new…which was often.

"I'll have security escort her out, and tell her to contact our lawyers," Mrs. Brown said softly. It wasn't the first one she'd had to do that with.

"Thank you," I said softly.

The door closed and then a ruckus occurred. "I don't care what he said; I'm here to see him!"

You had to give this one credit, she had balls.

There was the sound of a struggle, and I assumed security had arrived. But what happened next surprised us all. The door swung opened bouncing back against the wall and in stepped a ghost from my past. I lurched to my feet as I heard Alice gasp from across the table.

Bella stood in front of me, her chest heaving and a flush blossoming across her pale cheeks. Her dark chocolate hair swirled around her slim body. She was dressed in the jeans she so often wore, and the deep green of her long sleeved shirt emphasized her wide green eyes.

GREEN EYES!

My green eyes…

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><p><em><strong>So, I'm wondering what you think? Tomorrow is my birthday (NO! I won't share how many, because I'd be embarrassed to tell you). Best birthday present? Leave me a review! I would love to know what you think! Reviews will get a sneak peek into next chapter and a brief view of Carlisle's thoughts…<strong>_


	2. Carlie

_Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all._

To my peeps, Suzie55 and LemonMartinis who encouraged me to put this out there and did me the favor of pre-reading and making suggestions, and TwiLoverSue who told me to venture in and looked over this for grammar. Can't thank you enough. You are my heroes!

To my readers – YOU ROCK! I am totally blown away by the response to this story. Seventy five reviews for the first chapter! ARE YOU SERIOUS! Coming from an author who has previously only done all-vamp stories and who has been thrilled to get twenty reviews a chapter – I'm dumbstruck.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

For those who have asked, I plan to attempt posting twice weekly. I have the first fifteen chapters written, and that will get me through finishing my New Moon AU, leaving this and my Post Breaking Dawn story as the only ones going! And don't worry – I don't start stories I don't finish.

I've tried to respond to all reviews and hope you enjoyed your previews. Blondie 1990, AlwaysBeMyBella, and Kikita, I couldn't get with you because your PMs were disabled – accept this as my thank you!

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

_GREEN EYES! _

_My green eyes…_

I gasped, my heart pounding in my chest. I felt faint and sick at the same time.

Looking at her more closely, I realized what I'd missed in my shock. She was young. She couldn't be more than fourteen. Fourteen? I'd left Bella fifteen years ago.

"_Edward. For the love of God. If you ever really loved me, I need you to call me. It is very important." _

I fell into my seat afraid I was going to pass out. I'd left Bella pregnant…the realization was as clear as day. She'd called to tell me, that much was evident, and I'd refused those calls. My dad, thank God, had enough sense to usher Mrs. Brown out and shut the door. He then stood as mesmerized by the child in front of us as I was.

Bright green eyes scanned the room taking in each shocked face before returning to me.

"Are you Edward Anthony Cullen?" she asked determinedly. She even spoke like Bella.

"I am." Gone was the velvet voice so praised by my dates. I sounded like I'd been smoking for decades.

"Why do you go by Anthony?" she forced out.

I opened my mouth, but the explanation wouldn't come forth. How could I tell her that I couldn't stand for anyone other than my family to use that name. Tanya had tarnished what Bella had made so precious. I could still hear Bella moaning it in ecstasy.

She gritted her teeth, and both of her hands cinched into her hair in agitation. If there had been any doubt by anyone around the table that the child in front of us was mine…it was no more. It was like watching myself in the mirror. I heard my mother sob as she stood.

"Young lady, please sit." She moved to take my daughter's hand, but she held her hands up as if to stop my mom. "Will you tell us your name?" Esme said attempting to keep calm at the rebuff.

"Carlie Reanne Swan," she stuttered out. "Carlie, after my grandfather. He died on the way to the hospital the day I was born. Reanne after my grandmother. I go by Carlie."

Pain lurched through me, and I wrapped my arms around my chest. I saw Carlisle go white with shock. He clearly saw the play on his and Charlie's name and Renee and the acknowledgement of Esme's middle name. Rosalie appeared at my side, bottled water in hand. My normally strong willed sister-in-law was surprisingly gentle as she forced me to take a sip. Esme was barely holding it together, having realized that Bella had acknowledged her.

Carlie looked around the table taking in the stunned faces staring back at her.

"What the hell was I thinking?" she muttered.

Emmett began laughing softly, clearing enjoying the fact that a fourteen year old girl had just cursed in front of us. I knew he was probably thinking just how much my daughter she really was. But his laughter stopped immediately when she moved to leave.

"Oh, hell no," he muttered and dashed to the door, blocking her way. She glared at him and it was like watching Bella all over again. She'd always given Emmett as good as he gave. Carlie stood with her tiny fists clenched and body coiled, prepared to attack. The visual was actually humorous…a story of Biblical proportions…David versus Goliath.

"Your mother?" I rasped out, my throat closing up on me.

"Mama?" she turned to me, glaring. Then like a balloon deflating, she lost her anger and a scared look came across her face. "Dear God, what have I done?"

She folded into the seat that Carlisle held out and placed her elbows on the table. Her tiny hands clenched in her hair, and I saw Esme smile down at the bowed head, tears streaming down her face. Love already poured from her; she knew that my daughter…her granddaughter was totally confused and she wanted to comfort her.

"I don't understand," her small voice came through the tears. "Everyone has teased me for years about my eyes, and how my Mama must have had an affair with you years ago." She looked at me directly then. "It isn't like you aren't known for that," she muttered in loathing and I heard Jasper chuckle at the fact, even as I groaned. "I just laughed it off. You see, my dad EDWARD died in the war before my mom and he could marry. He was a wonderful boy, full of fun and life. He laughed and teased her, and they loved to walk in the woods together. He played her music on his piano, and would have loved me had he been there when I was born."

These were all true…of the boy I'd been with Bella.

"But then the other day the gossip magazine had a picture of you with your newest girlfriend, and it mentioned that 'Edward' Anthony Cullen and whatever her name was…" she sounded disgusted and honestly I felt it. "Well anyhow, after all the gushing about Seattle's newest hot couple, the author talked about your past. When it mentioned that you'd lived in Forks for a time being, I just couldn't get rid of the suspicion. My eyes kept going back to your name…"

She spun to look at Carlisle who stood to her side.

"Tell me isn't true?" she begged, and he knelt down beside her going to his knees. Jasper brought another bottle of water and handed it to Carlisle.

"My dear, who is your mother?"

It was a stupid question, the last name Swan had given it away, but I understood his need to hear it.

"Bella Swan. Isabella…I'm sorry."

"Is that her maiden name?" Alice asked the question I was dying to.

"Maiden? No…" she snorted "…that's her name. She's never married."

Pain lanced across her face and I knew she wasn't happy about that fact. In a direct paradox, incredible joy burst through me and then guilt. Bella had never married. I'd ruined her, I knew.

"Trust me, my dad…" she stopped and looked to me again, anger evident in her glare "um…Uncle Jacob has tried to set her up, but she politely and not so politely declines everytime."

I sat up straighter at the mention of Jacob's name, and that she would call him "dad." Wouldn't it be ironic after every negative thing I'd said about the boy, that he'd be the one to clean up my mess? And just how close was Uncle Jacob?

"Look, I need to go. I just tend to be a little focused at times when I get an idea in my head. It was a ridiculous idea, and I apologize for wasting your time. I realize now that I don't particularly want to be here."

"_I just tend to be a little focused at times when I get an idea in my head."_ She'd just used the exact words that my own mother utilized often to describe me. The precocious child in front of me was a perfect mixture of Bella and me both. _"I don't want to be here."_ I rose on shaking legs and made my way the few feet between us. I fell, with no grace, to my knees before her.

"Carlie, I had no idea."

She looked at me and our eyes fixed upon one another, her's glared while I was sure mine begged. I saw all hope that this was just a ludicrous coincidence fall from her face. Agony replaced it.

"She lied to me. All these years, she's lied to me. How can I believe anything she's ever said?" she cried out, but when I went to lay my hand on her she flinched away from me.

"I don't know you, I'm not sure I even want to know you. If you are who I suspect, you didn't care enough to stay around for mama's pregnancy, or my birth. Why the hell should you care now?"

I wanted to fuss at her for cursing, but I was overwhelmed by the sense of abandonment coming off of her.

"I mean, you weren't even there to help when…" she turned ghostly white and stood suddenly. "I have to go!" This time the words were said with considerable force and resolve. "Forget I was ever here. We don't know anything for sure, right?"

She was babbling in stress. Something had spooked her, and she began moving backwards without even watching where she was going, slamming directly into Emmett. Squeaking, she turned around to confront him.

"If you don't move, I'll start screaming."

"Really," he rumbled, arching an eyebrow at her.

Generally his tone of voice scared people. It didn't Carlie. She straightened up and assumed a clearly offensive stance. It was clear that someone had taught her self-defense, and for that I was extremely grateful.

"Really. Kidnapping is a federal crime, and my Aunt Leah will be sure to sure to prosecute you to the fullest. My boyfriend is waiting downstairs, and if I don't get back to him soon, he'll start making calls."

I growled at the idea that she had a boyfriend. Of all the individuals in the rooms, I knew what boys wanted from girls, especially at this age.

Jasper picked up the phone behind us. "James, please search the lobby for a teenage boy." "No description." "Yes, bring him to us."

Wrong words to utilize.

Her eyes flew wide open like a startled animal just before she kneed Emmett in the groin. As he began to fall, she skillfully used his momentum to throw him in the floor, then ran through the door faster than I'd believed possible. I chased after her calling her name, but she was very fast. The elevator door shut in my face, taking away the sight of her terrified face. Beating her by using the stairs was impossible. I relaxed a little when my father stepped beside me and said, "Don't worry. We have all the exits covered. She isn't going anywhere, and we already have the boy. James is bringing him up as we speak. She won't leave without him."

He pulled me back into the conference room, and I heard Alice telling Ms. Brown to reschedule the rest of our appointments.

"Edward?" My mom looked to me as I walked in, questions in her eyes.

"Mom, it's possible." I looked down in shame at having to admit to my youthful mistake in front of the whole family. "Bella and I made love. We were both virgins, and I wasn't thinking about responsibility. I was a little overwhelmed the first time." I admitted gruffly. _And maybe the second and third as well._

The emotions and passion of those memories overwhelmed me, and I had to shake my head to dispel them. My mom looked at me in disapproval for my mistake, and Alice…well she looked even more horrified. I was betting that she remembered knocking Bella down the stairs and had come to the same realization I had. As we'd abused and berated her, my Love had been carrying the precious child who was giving us a run for our money. Run for our money? Dear Lord, what had Bella done for money? How had she survived? What had I done?

We heard the sound of multiple individuals returning, and I was shocked again as a mini Jacob Black was escorted into our midst. I wasn't the only one. Only Jasper and Rosalie were oblivious to the connotation. He silently observed us in a manner so similar to his father. There was only a slight difference in the structure of his face, but he was Jacob's son. How apropos that Jacob's son would be my daughter's boyfriend. It kept getting better and better. He and I were going to have to have a little talk. A big talk.

The boy looked at every man in the room and then glared when he saw my eyes. There was no doubt in his mind that I was Carlie's father. There was none in mine either.

God had a sense of humor I discovered. I'd been so wrong, and it seemed that the Man himself had designed everything to remind me of it. As I waited for my daughter to come to her boyfriend's defense, I thought of the times that Bella had defended Jacob against me. I'd been a fool, but of course that wasn't in question. Jacob had stood by my Love, during a time when I hadn't. And contrary to my biggest fears, it would seem that Jacob had been exactly what Bella had insisted, a friend only.

I was being handed an incredible opportunity. I had a child. One that didn't approve of me much, but that was a feeling I shared at this moment. I could change her opinion of me; because I knew my sins and their purposes…I'd needed them to feel alive. But now, I felt truly alive for the first time in fifteen years. The pleasure burst in my chest. Bella! She'd never married, and was obviously just underneath my nose. How long had they been here? Where was she? Would she even speak with me? Would she listen long enough to hear my sorrow and shame at what I'd done? I looked around to the others in the room and saw that they were thinking the same thing. We'd all left her.

Carlie was escorted back in and threw off one of our security guard's hands. She ran straight to the young man and muttered his name. Seth. He held his hand out to her, and I saw them link fingers. She then turned to glare at us all.

I sat down in a chair before them, knowing that my height would make me look too domineering. I had nothing to lose at this point, but everything to gain, so I decided to bear it all.

"Carlie. I had no idea that your mother was pregnant when I left. Had I known, I would hope that I would have made the right decision." She continued to glare at me, but I was determined to be honest. "I was stupid when I left and made the worst decision of my life. What I can tell you is this; I regret I was not there. There is no doubt in my mind that you are my child. You are so much like your mother, but there are clear pieces of me in you as well." She looked to Seth and then back to me, but not before she scooted closer to him.

"You are amazing," I couldn't help saying it with pride in my voice. I'd had nothing to do with this mesmerizing creature before me…but I wanted to.

Glancing over, I saw Carlisle holding a trembling Esme. "This is Carlisle and Esme Anne, my parents, your grandparents." That brought a round of loud sobs from my mother and a teary eyed look from my dad. Carlie's widened eyes indicated she'd realized the significance of the names. "And Alice, my sister, and Jasper, her husband. The one you leveled is my brother Emmett, and the young lady at his side is Rosalie, his wife."

Carlie twitched. "Look, Mr. Cullen." I almost shouted out for her to call me dad, but I knew that was asking entirely too much. "Perhaps you are right, and you are my biological donor, but I was wrong to come here." Seth grumped in agreement at her side causing her to look down. Quite spuriously, I noticed him holding a bag and guessed it was probably a birthday gift for Bella. I was betting he'd attempted to keep Carlie from coming here, but the circumstance had given her an opportunity. She continued through my thoughts. "There is nothing positive that could happen from this, I see that now. I just had to know, and I tend to react before I think. We need to get home, or our parents are going to begin looking for us. I don't understand why my mother lied to me about you." I did. "But, I intend to find out."

Oh Fuck! It would seem that Bella had done her best to paint me in the best possible light possible. I really didn't want my child to find out the truth until I could explain it to her. Although, as my thoughts returned to what she'd said about the article, it seemed she'd already done a little discovering on her own.

"We'll take you home," I offered.

I saw the defensive shield go up immediately.

"NO!" she shouted.

What the hell was wrong with her? It was as if she was scared about something. It was time that she saw my own persistence.

"I know enough to track you down now. If you believe that I will allow you to leave here and never see you again, you are sadly mistaken. Won't it be better for us to go together? I need to speak with your mother."

**Carlie POV**

I'd screwed up. I hadn't thought about the repercussions of what I'd planned. Seth and I had taken a taxi into the city to pick up Mama's surprise present, and by chance we'd passed the Cullen headquarters. Curiosity so strong I couldn't ignore it had taken a hold, and I hadn't been able to let go of it. So on the way back, I'd hatched my scheme to Seth. Honestly, I was just thinking we'd hang out outside his office building to see if I could catch a glimpse of him. When I'd arrived, I'd realized how futile that was. It was a large building, and although his company owned it, there were other businesses in the tower. His just happened to be at the top levels.

Against all of Seth's mutterings and warnings, I'd entered the building with him in tow. Per my request, he'd stayed in the lobby to cover us. I'd only wanted to see if I could get a closer look. Then when I'd gotten to the level of the building that housed Cullen Enterprises, the receptionist had mistakenly thought I belonged to a group of young people that were being brought in to speak with the family. I'd gone along with the suggestion thinking it would get me closer. As I'd observed the people going in and out of the door, a strange obsession had taken hold. I just needed to see him so that I could put to rest the suspicions that battered my brain. It was then that they'd determined I was an interloper.

Seth, of course, had disapproved of my plan, saying I was going to get myself in trouble. But as with all my harebrained plans, he'd stayed with me against his own good reasonings. I should've listened.

The man who was my father…I was leading him to my poor unsuspecting mother. I'd been furious at first when I realized she'd deceived me, but I'd been looking out of the curtain of my hair as I listed out the things I'd been told about my miraculous father. Esme, his mother, had nodded at every single one of them. So if they were true, and I suspected they were, what happened between my parents to split them apart? Had my mother been responsible in some way for the playboy that had graced the covers of Seattle's finest papers and magazines? It was difficult to reconcile my mother's gentle nature with any behavior that would cause this.

There was truly more than I could ever guess going on here, and I shouldn't have started this spiraling mess. Maybe I'd get lucky, I thought while I gave the driver directions as to how to get to our house and the address, and they'd be gone somewhere. That would at least give me the time to prepare my mother for the results of my stupidity.

Scooting closer against Seth, I looked over to scan the faces staring at me. I'd seen them plastered all over the society pages. My grandparents looked at me as if I was a priceless gift. My tiny aunt studied my face as if she was seeing a ghost, and I would bet that was how she felt. Mama and I passed for sisters. I would say identical twins but most guys believed her to be in her early twenties, not thirties. The silent man beside her seemed to be observing those around us. Emmett, the one I'd kneed hard, just kept grinning at me. Was he psychologically imbalanced? I'd meant to hurt him, and I was glad to see that the self-defense my dad…um…Uncle Jacob had taught me worked. His wife, a blond goddess, monitored everything around us, not in an aloof manner, but as if she was weighing and assessing each reaction like me.

My father…dear Lord, my father. He continued to gaze at me like he'd been handed a million dollars. Well, considering how wealthy he was, maybe it was like hundreds of millions of dollars. It would take a lot to impress him. He monitored my every movement and stared at Seth and my linked hands. If he thought he was coming between the two of us, he had another thing coming.

My classmates drooled over my father and talked about what it would take to get him in bed. It made me nauseous to think of the speculation I'd heard about him and what it would take to get his notice. Fourteen-year-olds had fantasies too, even if they weren't supposed too. I'd seen his pictures and the gossip about him and found it hard to conceive that he and my mother had ever been together. She was just so down to Earth, and he was like some…god.

But that wasn't what was important right now. I'd just led him back to her, and I had a sense this wasn't going to go down well. I wanted to puke when we turned on our street. Esme looked out at the neighborhood and smiled.

"Carlisle, look at the lovely homes. The architecture is amazing."

I knew that mom had spent most of the insurance she'd gotten from Grandpa Charlie's death to buy in a good neighborhood. She constantly mentioned that it meant me getting into some of the best schools. I was certain it was nothing like the houses the demi gods and goddesses lived in, but I was proud of it nonetheless.

I motioned for him to go straight down the drive at the end of the Cul-de-Sac. Seth and my houses were located together. Mama had given Uncle Jacob and Aunt Leah the historic main house because of the stairs, while we'd had the servant's quarters in back restored to make a beautifully comfortable home for the two of us. My hope that Uncle Jacob might have taken my mom off for a birthday trip dispelled when I saw his Jeep. Seth exhaled softly, and my father noticed. We were screwed.

As soon as the car door opened, I saw the back door fly open, and Uncle Jacob step out attempting to see who was in the limousine. His shocked face turned to fury as he saw my father pull me out of the car, and he started jogging forward, just as the inevitable happened. I heard Mama call out my name, and as if in a trance my father turned toward the sound. His face told me everything. He still loved her.

What had happened?

Mama came around the corner, her hair flying at the speed by which she was approaching us. I saw the disaster looming just seconds before I leapt in her direction. Lying on the walkway was several of the gardening tools I'd left out from planting her birthday flowers, and in her haste she wasn't paying attention to what she was doing. Even running, I couldn't get there in time.

She yelled, "Carlie, is that you, baby?

I saw Carlisle's eyes snap to her in confusion and then dawning horror. But I could care less, because I was attempting to get to her before she went down. I was too late. She barreled right into the mess I'd left out the earlier evening and her fall was immediate.

I screamed when I heard the thudding sound as her head hit the concrete, hearing Uncle Jacob's roar echoing in the background.

My father passed me, but he was too late as well. The stream of blood that poured down Mama's face made me feel nauseous as Uncle Jacob scooped her unconscious body into his arms. "Leah!" he shouted. "Call 911!"

I saw my aunt's face briefly in the door, and knew that she would be doing exactly that.

Uncle Jake, my savior and my own personal demi-god narrowed his eyes at me, knowing that somehow I was responsible for this. It devastated me to know that he had accurately assessed my guilt, and more importantly, that I'd disappointed him. He was my true father, the man that had nurtured me and held me when I cried.

"Jacob, please let me see her," Carlisle said, and for a moment I was stunned that he would know Uncle Jake.

"Why, so you can ignore her again?" Uncle Jake spit out, and both Seth and I shuffled nervously beside each other with the emotions that swirled around us. This was really bad.

My father had reached Carlisle's side and the look on his face made my gut ache. Devastation…that was all I could equate it with.

"I deserve that, Jacob Black. There is no doubt. However, I also know that the ambulance will not be here for many minutes, and I can provide Bella with at least a cursory evaluation in the meantime," Carlisle said.

Uncle Jake glared at him for a moment, and then seeming to come to some conclusion he moved to place Mama on one of the wrought iron couches, laying her down on the thick padding that covered the metal. The man I knew to be my grandfather knelt to examine her head, gently pushing her hair back to examine the wound. The edge of the concrete had gashed it in a straight line, just at her hair, and blood poured thickly from the area. Edward went to kneel beside his father, and that's when all hell broke loose.

"Stay the fuck away from her," Uncle Jake growled and plowed into him sending them both crashing into the furniture behind where my mother lay like a limp rag doll. Everyone screamed at them to stop fighting, but fists flew both ways. Uncle Jake was a force to be reckoned with, standing at over six and a half feet tall. Edward was only a few inches shorter. Where Uncle Jake was a massive wall of muscle, Edward was sleekly built. It would seem, from the words being exchanged, and damage being done that they were well matched. My two uncles rushed toward them as they fell to the ground in a heap. I closed my eyes at the chaos that ensued around us.

It was the strength of the whipcord voice of Esme Cullen that stopped them. "Stop the fighting immediately, this isn't helping Bella," she said loud enough to gain their attention.

Jasper and Emmett reached down onto the ground where my biological father and dad had frozen, pulling them apart.

"Edward, stop," Emmett hissed.

"He started it," my father spit out, blood coming from inside his mouth.

"The hell I did!" Uncle Jacob roared out. "You started this years ago when you walked away from the girl you knocked up without a care, to sleep with that blond bitch who'd been panting after you."

Everyone froze and then looked over to Seth and me almost as if they'd forgotten we were there.

So he had known about me and just didn't care. He'd lied. Maybe that's why my mother had lied. Bone crushing despair overwhelmed me, and I turned into Seth seeking comfort. I'd always believed that my father would have loved me had he survived. Now it seems that he'd never cared at all. It hurt so much I whimpered.

"Jacob, I…" he started to speak but was looking directly at me. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of returning his gaze.

"Shut the fuck up, Cullen. Nothing you nor your family could say make any difference!"

"Jacob," Carlisle's eloquent voice came through the arguing ones.

He had to speak several times before he could be heard over the profanity and name calling.

Finally Uncle Jake turned to him. "What?" he asked with a scowl.

Carlisle looked up and if I didn't know better I would have thought he was remorseful. He swallowed hard before asking, "How long has Bella been blind?"

The gasps around me were enough to make her go deaf too.

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><p><strong><em>So, I'm wondering what you think? <em>****_I would love to know! Reviews will get a sneak peek into next chapter and a brief view of Emmett's thoughts and secret…_**

**_Thanks for all the birthday wishes! I had a blast...dinner and movie with hubby and babysitting services from mother-in-law._**

**_I'm content1april on twitter. Come join me, I'm still attempting to learn what to do. _**


	3. Cold Hard Facts

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.

To my peeps, Suzie55 and LemonMartinis who encouraged me to put this out there and did me the favor of pre-reading and making suggestions, and TwiLoverSue who told me to venture in and looked over this for grammar. Can't thank you enough. You are my heroes! Suzie has a really good story going on right now! Cliché' TwiLoverSue has a great Twilight AU – Once Bitten. (links below!) Yes, those are rec's!

To my readers – YOU ROCK! I am totally blown away by the response to this story. Coming from an author who has previously only done all-vamp stories and who has been thrilled to get a few reviews a chapter – I'm dumbstruck. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

The next chapter won't be up until the end of the week – I've got to focus on my The Canon Tour one shot for the Twilight round… I know vamp story (not that popular), but I'm playing around with a dark one… A little too excited about that. I'll try to get reviews replies and outtakes to you as soon as possible! ;)

Random Reviewer (LOVE that pen name), fredasally, SerenAngel (I promise to supply what you asked for – I am Team Edward) – couldn't respond to your replies. THANKS so much.

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

Blind!

Pushing Emmett away, I stumbled to Carlisle's side in confusion. I was quite certain that Jacob had broken a few ribs, and breathing was a mother fucker. Blood gushed from my lip and down onto my dress shirt, but I couldn't take my eyes away from Bella's face. She looked deathly pale as the crimson liquid continued to pour across her breathtaking features.

A beautiful Native American woman stepped from the house and towards us, handing Carlisle a towel before tossing me one and walking over toward Jacob. She looked familiar, and I couldn't place where I knew her from. I was praying she hadn't been one of my drunken conquests. That would just be my luck.

She none too gently touched the towel to Jacob's nose, catching the blood flowing from it, and he jerked at her "care." A mini replica of her followed out of the door and walked over to stand next to Seth. His sister?

"How many times have I told you that you can't settle anything with fists," she scolded him.

Jacob and I both flexed unconsciously, and he grinned unrepentantly. Yeah, we hadn't settled anything, but it sure had felt good. I tore my eyes from the sight of Carlisle staunching the flow from Bella's head for a moment to stare at the boy I'd once despised. He stared back at me with hatred in his eyes. He had a basis for his feelings, I didn't.

"Leah, he had the audacity to attempt to touch her. He doesn't have that right."

Leah Black...up and coming District Attorney. Damn! I knew who she was now. She'd actually met with my attorneys and I once when I'd been stalked by a woman who wouldn't take no for an answer. She knew my habits…far too well. And she was Jacob's wife…Fuck!

"Jacob?" my father's voice asked again. He was putting pressure to her head wound.

It became evident that Jacob wasn't going to answer Carlisle's question about Bella's sight. "The ambulance will be here in a minute. We'll let them take care of Bella," he snarled out.

I saw my father's body deflate slightly. He had his fingertips to her pulse and I could tell he was also counting the rise and fall of her chest. "Jacob, I would like to check her pupil reaction to make sure we don't have more than a concussion. I need to know if I should expect a normal retraction to the light."

Leah answered instead. "No." She turned to look at Bella with affection before glancing back up to my father. "You don't need to concern yourself once they get here. We'll follow her to the hospital. They are familiar with her condition and us there."

Emmett had the audacity to laugh at that statement slightly. It would seem that frequent hospital visits were still a norm with her.

Blind?

If Jacob wasn't going to give me an answer, perhaps my daughter would. "Carlie, your mother is blind?" My voice was harsh with emotion. Could this get any worse?

I heard the roar and Emmett's curse just before Jacob connected with me again.

"Do not. Talk. To her!" Jacob roared, punching me in the back. Fuck he was strong!

Twisting, I began pummeling him again, until I heard crying.

"Mr. Cullen, Daddy, please quit," my daughter spoke softly from beside us; she was twisting her hands in stress. "Please, just stop," she sobbed.

I pushed at Jacob, throwing him off.

"What is wrong with you?" she accused Jacob.

It hurt that she didn't know enough about me to question me. Jacob had the good grace to look ashamed. He pulled himself up to stand straight, but I secretly thrilled when he winced. My family glared at me in disgust. I was a wreck; I was certain. I'd only wanted to know what was wrong with Bella, and my anxious gaze jerked back to her still body. My dad still held the towel to her head, but I could see that the blood had stopped flowing.

"Pip squeak," Jacob said softly holding his hand out to her and she ran into his embrace.

"I'm sorry," she breathed into him, and his "s'okay" covered it.

Insanely jealous, I started to rise, but the wail of the siren cut off any idiotic words I might say. The ambulance pulled into the drive and when the EMTs exited I could tell they didn't know who to check on first. Jacob and I, or Bella.

One of my eyes, as well as Jacob's, was swelling shut. Blood still trickled from my mouth and his nose, and I knew I was going to have to get my ribs wrapped. I was betting he was in the same situation.

"Jake…" one of them said in acknowledgement and hurried over to where Bella lay on the wrought iron couch. It was as if Bella being unconscious and Jake being beat to a pulp while the culprit stood beside him, just as badly whipped, was normal.

"Excuse me sir," he said to Carlisle's side, but them he froze seeing my father's face. "Dr. Cullen, sir!" he corrected himself.

My father smiled briefly but hurried into the assessment. "She fell and struck her temple. Respiration and pulse rate are good, and I managed to get the blood flow to slow. I haven't been able to check for any further damage. We need a CAT scan immediately upon arrival at the hospital to check for swelling. I also want an ultrasound and ultrasonography of her eyes."

The EMT looked shocked at the last two requests, but Carlisle could get anything he wanted. "We'll take care of Bella, sir. She's a fav of all the guys down in the ER," he chuckled having already checked Bella's pulse and respirations to confirm Carlisle's observations. "She'll be right as rain as soon as we can get her to wake up. Just to make sure, we'll insure that Dr. Felix checks her out."

The other man snorted as he pulled the stretcher out.

"Dr. Felix De Luca?" my father questioned.

"That's the one," the other man joked. "I assume you want him taking care of her Jacob?" the man said, brushing his hand over Bella's hair and making me want to growl at his familiarity.

"Yes!" Jacob answered with a snarl, looking at me.

"That'll make Doc Felix happy. Bella's visits always improve his mood."

This time I did growl at the implication. Jacob smiled in glee hearing my reaction.

"How about you, Jacob? You need us to patch you up again?" The man looked to him then me questioning.

I felt like I was in the Twilight zone. They were acting so nonchalant while Bella lay as still as death against the white sheet of the stretcher.

"I'll meet you at the hospital," Carlisle indicated to them.

"Um…" the one who'd recognized him stumbled. "No offense, Dr. Cullen, but Bella specifically visits Swedish Medical."

I'd guessed as much when he mentioned Dr. De Luca's name. I knew why. Our corporation owned most of the competition. My dad's face was arguably the most recognized one in medicine in this city. If Bella didn't want to run into him or me, it would have been in her best interest to frequent Swedish.

"Um, sir," he looked to me.

"I'm fine," I said harshly, continuing to stare at Jacob.

"Up you go, Carlie," the man indicated to my daughter. Seth followed her crawling into the back. Damn…he even knew my daughter with enough intimacy to call her by her first name. Within less than a minute, the love of my life, my newly discovered daughter, and her boyfriend were hidden behind the doors of the ambulance and on the road.

"I'm going inside," Leah said softly to Jacob. Reaching her hand out to the beautiful child she said softly, "Come Samantha. Let's let Daddy talk to his friends."

"Daddy's going to give them the 'what for,'" the angel murmured before she followed her mother.

Jacob at least had the decency to wait until his daughter was in the house before he tore into me. Rounding around, he squared off at me. "How the hell did you find her? And why now?"

I wanted to shout back at him, but I realized this just might be the best chance I had to get some answers. "I didn't know, she made her way to our business headquarters and literally let herself in."

"Why now, Edward?" he swore out. "You could have just ignored her like you did before."

"I've never ignored her! I had no idea."

His nostrils flared, and for a moment I was actually scared of Jacob Black. It wasn't because he was just a tad bigger than me. It was the look on his face…one of pure disgust and hatred.

"Don't pull that shit on me, you bastard. You never returned Bella's calls, I know that, but you can't explain it away so easy. You ignored the letter as well. Carlie meant nothing to you then, so why now?"

I was stunned and dumbfounded. "Letter? I received no letter."

"The hell you didn't. It was signed for." He saw the confused look on my face. "Look, I don't give a fuck about you; in fact, I could kill you and enjoy doing it. The only reason that I haven't already accomplished that is because one day Carlie might question why." He stepped closer to me attempting to intimidate me. "She's mine, Cullen! My child, my baby, my daughter. You aren't going to come in now and ruin it. Go crawl back under that cash cow you've been milking and leave us the hell alone. Now, I have more important things to do than waste my time with scum like you." He spun and moved toward the house.

Leah met him at the door and handed him a clean shirt, a pack of wet wipes, and his keys. Jacob tore out of the driveway in an obvious hurry to get to Bella and Carlie. I was too, but I was a little more patient. Years of medical school and practice at our hospitals had taught me that no one would be able to see Bella until the attending physician cleared it. Jacob would be waiting for a while, and having seen the looks of adoration that passed between him and my daughter, I knew he would be comforting her as well as his son.

The screen door opened again, and Leah Black stepped out to cast her eyes upon us. She'd earned a reputation as a sharp as hell district attorney for a reason. Taking in my bedraggled appearance, she huffed and stepping back into the house returned with a wet towel this time and handed it to me. I knew she took in each and every member of my family before she spoke.

"Jake will never tell you. He hates your guts. In reality, I hate you about as much as he does. You have no heart, Anthony Cullen." She said my name with contempt. "Bella did everything she could to contact you and your family, and you spit on her and tossed her out like refuse." She looked directly at Alice when she said this, and I realized she knew about their last encounter. "You do not deserve the treasure that is your daughter. My husband is the only father she has known, and I am proud of him for it. Carlie was born within a week of Seth, and he nurtured them both as I recovered from a c-section, and Bella…well she recovered from everything. She fell down some stairs, and instead of trying to reach out and protect herself, she wrapped her arms around the baby within her. She hit her head."

"Retinal detachment," I said softly.

"Yes," she answered.

"But there is surgery that can be done to help that. Why hasn't she…" Then I realized why. "She didn't have the money."

"She was so focused on making sure that the baby was okay, that she wouldn't even consider spending what money she did have to help herself. I shouldn't even be telling you this. You all made your decision years ago to not be involved."

"I didn't know," I swore out. The family moved closer to us.

Leah's face turned turbulent. She stalked toward the house I'd seen Bella coming from, kicking the small shovels that had tripped Bella into the yard away from the sidewalk. The door slammed, and we all looked at each other lost, unsure if we'd just been dismissed or if she was coming back. Alice had been entirely silent the whole time, and I could tell she'd been crying. I utilized the moments to use the wet towel to wipe down my face and hands, removing the drying blood. My shirt was a total loss and my side hurt like hell. We'd begun to stir uncomfortably, when she reappeared, several sheets of paper in her hands, and shoved them at me.

"Someone in your home took delivery of this certified packet."

My hand shook seeing the beginning. "Dear Edward…"

"It is a copy, you can have it. The first page is Bella's handwritten plea to you. The next few are the legal documents I researched that notified you of the fact you were an impending father. The back page has the signature of the person who signed for the letter." I couldn't believe she was being so nice. "In fact, I've had it waiting for you for years, on the long shot that you might decide to look for her or the baby. I should thank you really. Had I not spent so much time researching the legal aspects on line, I don't know if I would have recognized my interest in law. I did fairly well considering I didn't know anything other than what I read in the books. It is still an airtight case. You were legally notified, and by not responding in the prescribed timeline, you have in most courts of law given up your rights. I even posted it in the paper." She smiled viciously at me. "With an excellent attorney you just might win some visitation, but you'll never be able to take custody away from Bella."

My mouth hung open, stunned at the voracious bitch that faced me. She was amazing and extremely competent. I was impressed, even if her legal mind was trained on me. But I had no desire to take Carlie from Bella. I just wanted to be a part of her life, of both of their lives. Shit, let me be honest, I wanted everything, Bella, Carlie, a family…

"Getting back to what I was originally saying, Jacob sat with Carlie and Seth while both Bella and I recovered from delivery. He helped Bella learn to live life again after losing her sight, her father, her love…and all the while taking care of two tiny babies. He's been more of a father to that child than most biological dads are to their offspring." She sneered at me making a point. "I was Jacob's girlfriend the whole entire time you accused them of sleeping together. I watched what your selfishness and arrogance did."

She looked over to my family and then focused on Alice with a vicious snarl. "You know, even after you wouldn't return her calls, even after you didn't respond to the letter, she couldn't believe that you didn't love her. She just kept saying that you couldn't fake something like that and she had to figure out what had gone wrong. She made one last effort and went to see you. When she realized that you were a danger to her baby, it was over."

Alice collapsed against Jasper, and he held her shaking body, attempting to comfort her.

Leah turned back to me, and disdain was clearly written across her face. "For eight years, I did not hear your name from her lips, until the day that Carlie asked about her father. I was astounded by what came out of Bella's mouth. By the time she was through, you were God to that child. I struggled with it for the longest time, but then Jake explained it to me. Bella was just recanting the myth she'd built in her head about you…about how perfect you were, and if in the process Carlie had this amazing man as a father, what harm was there in it?" She shrugged elegantly.

Shaking her head, she looked away from us. "In reality Edward ANTHONY Cullen…" she was reminding me of my sins…sins she knew too well…by using that name "…I should thank you. Jake and I found out I was pregnant at the same that Bella did. Had we not had to do some of the things we did together, I'd probably stayed on the Reservation and turned out like many of the other girls. I might have never really seen what a truly wonderful man my husband could evolve into, and I wouldn't have ended up with a sister like Bella. I would have never gone to school, and Jake would have never pursued his line of work."

She moved again to take the now rusty colored towel from me.

"I can help her now, Leah. There are things that can be done…"

"Money! It's always about the money with you isn't it? I know it hasn't kept your bed warm at night Mr. Cullen. I personally witnessed that. So, what does it bring you?" She scoffed, having misunderstood me. "Bella doesn't need your money. She has more than she'll ever need now. Getting her to spend it on herself proves challenging, but nonetheless, it is there if she needs it. The day that she spun her magical tale for your daughter was the beginning of a new life for Bella. Take the time to research something other than your next prospect for a conquest on the internet; perhaps you'll find how that event helped the ugly duckling turn into a swan. Please make your way off our property and don't return. Have your lawyer contact me and I'll work with him or her to set up visitation with Carlie…if she desires it."

With that, she turned and walked into her house, and this time we were all certain that we'd been dismissed. Shell shocked was an adequate description of how we looked.

"Dad?"

"I'm on it, Edward." His cell phone was at his head as we began walking to the limo and climbed in. I gasped feeling the pain lance through me.

When we pulled out of the driveway, I wanted to shout at the incredible irony of how close Bella and Carlie lived to our family's homes. We were literally within a few miles of each other.

As Carlisle called the CEO of Swedish Medical, I handed Emmett the legal documents relying on his keen legal mind to decipher them. I wanted to see what she'd written.

Dear Edward,

I can't conceive why you haven't returned my calls. I feel at such a loss because you have cut me out of your life so completely. My heart has been rendered in two, and I don't even know why.

My Love, I wanted to say this to you in person, but you've allowed me no other opportunity. I am pregnant with our child. I'm about two months now, and I'm afraid. On one hand, I imagine this will mean I can't complete high school and Charlie is going to be so disappointed. The thought terrifies me. On the other, I couldn't be more thrilled. A child created through love.

This is so difficult to say, because I really don't understand what I did to destroy your love for me. But, even if you want nothing further to do with me, I know you too well to think you wouldn't want anything to do with your child. You are going to be such a wonderful father. I hope I will get to see it, but if not I don't want he or she to miss out on you.

Whatever you desire Edward. Just let me know.

Since it would seem that this may be the last opportunity to let you know how I feel, please know that I am tremendously confused by this all. I love you, and I thought you felt the same. Please give me the opportunity to dispel whatever it is that you have been convinced I did.

Don't give up on us! Please, Green Eyes.

All my love, Bella.

Pain rolled through my chest, and I began crying, really really crying. Years of built up pain and agony ripped through me, and as I sobbed I jostled the ribs I was becoming more and more convinced were broken. What had I done? _You know exactly what_ a voice answered from within.

Feeling my mother's hands on me, like a child I ended up sobbing on her chest, her fingers fluffing through my hair to calm me. I gasped several times as sobs tortured my ribs, but in reality it was a fitting consequence, unable to imagine what Bella had been through over the years.

It only took ten minutes for us to get to the hospital, and as we pulled into the emergency room entrance, I pulled away from my mother and brought the last page to the forefront. It was a photocopy, but clearly stapled to the original was the signed return receipt. I wasn't surprised to see the name there; I just wondered why she hadn't admitted to it during her confession.

Tanya Denali

Rage clouding my vision, I wondered if she'd read the letter, or destroyed it sight unseen. I wanted to believe the latter; even she couldn't have been that cruel, right?

We stepped into the emergency room and our appearance created quite a buzz. I saw one lady take a picture with her cell phone and wondered how long it would take for the paparazzi to arrive. With the modern wonders of Twitter and other social networking sites, I was guessing less than a half hour.

Having seen the same thing, Jasper said softly, "I'll take care of it." Retrieving his phone, he began calling our security team.

Emmett had already completely reviewed the paperwork, so I was certain that he would give me a rundown soon. But I was less worried about that, than I was finding out about Bella.

Seeing Jacob, Seth, and Carlie in the corner of the waiting room, I moved directly to them. At the same time, a door separating the area of the waiting area to the surgical areas opened and I heard a voice call out, "Dr. Cullen?"

Out of habit, my dad and I both responded, "Yes?"

The nurse looked to the both of us confused, but waved her hand to indicate we should follow. I knew that she would be escorting us to a more private area to await word on Bella.

"Jacob," I said softly to him, hoping he would accept the help we could give. "We can wait in privacy." He looked as if he was going to disagree. "Our presence has already been noted. The press will be here soon." I purposely glanced to Carlie, indicating it was she he should be concerned about.

Clearly unhappy with it, but knowing it was for the best he agreed with a slight nod.

"Pip squeak, let's go wait for Doc Felix to come see us."

* * *

><p><em><strong>So...? Reviews will get a sneak peek into next chapter and a brief view of Alice's thoughts…<strong>_

_**I'm content1april on twitter. Come join me, I'm still attempting to learn what to do. **_

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7352604/1/Cliche **In a place far, far away lived a beautiful…oh, forget it. Who are we really kidding here? This is Hell. This is high school. Welcome to Forks.

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7046967/1/Once_Bitten** Edward finally meets the love of his existence but can't resist her singer's blood. Can their fairytale love survive a horror beginning or will Bella's newborn grief, an outraged wolf pack, and the offended Volturi deny them their happily ever after?


	4. Electricity

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.

To my peeps, Suzie55 and LemonMartinis who encouraged me to put this out there and did me the favor of pre-reading and making suggestions, and TwiLoverSue who told me to venture in and looked over this for grammar. Can't thank you enough. You are my heroes! Suzie has a really good story going on right now! Cliché' TwiLoverSue has a great Twilight AU – Once Bitten. (links below!) Yes, those are rec's!

To my readers – YOU ROCK! I am totally blown away by the response to this story. Coming from an author who has previously only done all-vamp stories and who has been thrilled to get a few reviews a chapter – I'm dumbstruck. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Genevieve, Caitie126, and Charlie0925, I couldn't leave you a review reply! Thank you!

One last thing – I apologize for splitting up the Alice POV outtake from the review replies…it was too long to go as one. The second half will come with any review reply here!

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

The nurse led us to a private area of the hospital, and I knew that my father had been successful in his endeavor. It was an area of the facility for the elite, those that didn't want to be seen or visited. When the nurse let us in the door to the suite, it took all my control not to run for the door across from us. It was partially open, and I could hear the beeping of the machine and a deep voice who I was guessing was Dr. De Luca speaking to someone. A nurse passed by the door heading for the one that led to the other area of the emergency room. When the doctor moved out of the way I could see the end of the bed, and the outline of her legs underneath the blanket.

The soft sound of the heart monitor made my own heart pound. They were concerned enough to place her on the machine, which meant she hadn't woken up yet. Carlie stepped to the doorway and partially into the room, and I heard a chuckle come from within.

"Little one, you and your mother have to stop attempting to meet with me in this way. I'm perfectly comfortable with you just calling me, as you know. This is going just a little too far. I have told you many times that I would be happy to meet you outside of this dismal place," the deep bass voice resonated even into the room with us.

"Pfft…" Carlie said back to the person, eliciting another chuckle.

She began to look up just before the massive form of a giant stepped in front of her and turned her tiny body back into the room. Jacob stood just to Carlie's side, and I saw the doctor reach out to shake his hand.

"Jacob, it's been what, a couple of months?" he said.

"At least, this time," Jacob smiled back, clearly showing that he liked this man.

It was then that he looked into the room and saw the rest of us standing there. His eyes were immediately ensnared by my father, though, and I was betting he'd only glanced at us. "Dr. Cullen?" he said quickly.

Quickly striding over to the man, my father stuck out his hand. "Dr. De Luca. A privilege again."

The black headed Italian seemed at a total loss as to what my father would be doing here. "I'm sorry, you are…friends with Isabella?"

I absolutely hated the way he said her name. His Italian accent made it a caress, and I didn't want to even consider what that meant. Carlie had said she didn't date, but that didn't mean that she hadn't had offers.

Carlisle stumbled, uncharacteristically, to come up with a plausible explanation. Carlie took care of it for him.

"Dr. Cullen…is my…grandfather." Her voice got smaller when she acknowledged Carlisle's relationship to her.

Felix's eyes widened and jerked to us in the background. He ran down the line until his gaze narrowed on me then jerked to Carlie, and then back to me. I saw his ire blossom. Yeah, he knew my reputation as well, and had quickly surmised just who her father was. I didn't think he was even aware of it, but he stepped fully in front of the door leading to Bella and closer to Carlie, as if he was their protector. Brilliant surgeon he might be, but somehow I was betting that there was a beast just under the surface. I knew that Carlisle had attempted to entice this man over to our facilities in the past because of his skill, but I was certain that he could prove deadly in a fight.

Felix looked to Jacob for direction; he was probably hesitating to say anything in from of strangers. Carlie took it from him. "Dr. Felix, my mom?"

"…is going to be fine, little one. I believe just another concussion. I've ordered the CAT scan, but it is only a precaution. She'll be waking up here soon and spitting her regular fire at us, I would suspect. She seems to be blessed by the angels as to where she continues to mar that beautiful skin of hers. Even this scar is in the hair line and thankfully will be undetectable."

He patted Carlie's hand affectionately, and I wanted to tear him away from her. I was a man and had never had a single inkling of attraction to another man, but even I could admit this man was handsome as sin, big as a bear, and brilliant. Jealousy, that I didn't deserve the right to feel, ran rampant through me. It didn't help that he obviously knew my daughter well, whereas, before today I hadn't even known of her existence. I thought of the letter and the calls…and through no fault of Bella's.

Carlisle spoke up then. "Dr. De Luca, I'd asked the EMTs to request scans on her eyes…"

Carlisle broke off when he saw the look on the Italian doctor's face. "For what purpose?" he rumbled.

"To assess the state of degeneration."

Felix looked over to Jacob then. It was clear he was truly puzzled. I'd always been good at reading others, well except Bella I added. He was perplexed as to how I could be Carlie's father, but not know the state of Bella's health.

"Is he Bella's private physician?" Felix asked of Jacob.

Jacob's derisive snarl answered the question.

"Then, I believe that only Bella has the right to give you that information," the large doctor indicated pulling the confidentiality guaranteed by the HIPPA act. Smart of him. I wasn't certain if Bella would even speak with us; much less allow us to know her intimate affairs.

The nurse entering the room behind us distracted us and Felix, with an inordinate amount of grace for such a large man; he left us to take care of his patient.

"Dr. De Luca…" the nurse mumbled, and we heard the tale tell sound of him breaking a capsule. He was using smelling salts to see if he could wake Bella.

Her heart beat fluctuated only slightly, but I heard her gasp just a few seconds later. Her first word didn't surprise me.

"Carlie! Felix, where is Carlie?"

"Bella, she's right next door just waiting for you to wake up."

Carlie tore from Jacob's arms and ran for the door, sliding through it. "Mama! I'm so sorry!" she sobbed.

We all heard the gasp that came from Bella when Carlie threw herself into Bella's arms.

A tan arm shot before me, slapping up against the wall and stopping my advance. I hadn't realized I'd even followed Carlie until Jacob's offending arm stopped me. "Family only," he threatened.

I would have killed him at that moment, but my mind was occupied with the sight before me. Across the room Bella cradled our daughter against her chest, as Carlie cried. Bella's hand stroked down Carlie's long dark hair attempting to soothe her as she made soft comforting sounds. A white bandage adorned her temple, in direct contrast to the chocolate brown hair that cascaded over it. Even in a hospital gown and bandaged up, Bella was still the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Her eyes gazed unseeingly towards our daughter, and I felt a sharp pain in my gut at just how much she'd lost since the day I'd become a monster.

"Where were you? The school called to tell us that you and Seth weren't in attendance…"

The rest of the conversation was cut off as Dr. De Luca stepped back into the room and shut the door,giving them privacy. He quickly took in my and Jake's antagonistic expressions and positioning.

"Have either of you been examined?"

I shook my head no for both of us.

"Come then, sit down. Between Dr. Cullen and me, I do believe we can set the ribs I am betting are either cracked or broken. Some ice for those eyes and lips as well…"

**Bella POV**

The minute I regained consciousness, my only thought was to Carlie. From the feel of the bed below me, and the large hand holding mine, I knew I was in the hospital again and that Felix was taking care of me, as usual. His unique smell and the gentle brush of his fingers over my face confirmed my assessment. I'd deal with whatever situation had gotten me here in a minute. For now, I just needed to hold her in my arms.

"Carlie! Felix, where is Carlie?" I all but shouted out.

"Bella, she's right next door just waiting for you to wake up."

His deep voice rumbled from beside me. It was such a pleasant voice, and I knew from his attempts to woo me that it came from an equally pleasing body and face. My fingers had actually tingled as they explored the broad panes of his face the day he let me "see" him. There was no doubt in my mind that he was a handsome man, but more importantly he was a good man. I wished I could give him what he wanted, but I was broken, and I refused to give him only half affections. He deserved so much more. My uncomfortable musings were dispelled immediately when Carlie's voice interrupted them and she sobbed out her apology, while at the same time throwing herself into my arms.

After a minute of letting her cry, I couldn't help my question. "Where were you? The school called to tell us that you and Seth weren't in attendance?"

I heard a sound that suspiciously sounded like someone scuffling across the room, but then the door shut, and I was guessing that Felix had left to give us privacy.

"Mama, I'm sorry. I went into Seattle to get your birthday present," she sobbed, and I could feel her tears dropping against the thin material of the hospital gown.

"Baby…sh… Calm down. First, you know I don't approve of you skipping school for any reason, much less for something as unimportant as my birthday."

She chuckled for a moment, because it was a long standing argument between us. I always made big productions of her birthday, but constantly insisted that mine be ignored. When I'd turned thirty, I'd sworn them off and had raged when they'd gotten me a cake. She continued to sob, and I began to grow worried. She was entirely too upset about this. I'd been to the hospital numerous times, so that couldn't be it, or could it?

"Carlie, what happened, I remember hearing a car turn into the lane and running to see if it was you…" I left off hoping that she would fill in the blanks.

"Mama, I'm such an idiot," she chuckled slightly again making me feel a little better. "Last night, I planted the Violas and Primroses I got for you and left the hand shovel in the way. This is all my fault."

"Carlie, this isn't the first time I've tripped, as you know. I suspect it won't be the last. As soon as Felix gives me the okay, let's go home and celebrate with a big bowl of ice cream and forget all about this. Don't get me wrong, I'm still upset about school and we'll need to address that later, but if you insist on celebrating my birthday I'm going to claim a girl's night tonight," I teased knowing she wouldn't be able to pass up a bowl of ice cream. She had as big a sweet tooth as I did.

She remained stiff in my arms. "Carlie?"

Her silence and tense posture was beginning to panic me.

"Mama…there's more."

"Okay," I said wondering what other sin she felt the need to admit to. A random thought raced through my head that this might be a good time to find out any dirt she was hiding from me.

"While I was in Seattle…I…I made another stop."

I waited wondering what other mischief she and Seth had gotten into. They reminded me so much of Jake and me that I could imagine just about anything. The only difference between the current Black Swan (as Leah liked to call us) combo was that they'd already declared themselves soulmates, and Jake and I had no doubt that it was true. While we'd never been soulmates, Jacob was my best friend - without benefits, so we couldn't argue against the evolution of that relationship into what had occurred between our children. In true Jacob fashion, he'd threatened to castrate his own son if they even thought about sex this early. I'd taken the two aside and told them that they were entirely too young right now, but that when the time came, I wanted them to come to see me about birth control. I wanted them both to have a chance to go to college before children came along, and I intimately knew that when the hormones hit it would be near impossible for them to resist.

"Baby, go ahead and just tell me," I said in response to her uncharacteristic silence. "It can't be half as bad as you are imagining it."

"You have no clue," she mumbled. But then she lashed out. "Why did you lie to me about my father?"

I froze then. What had brought this up…today of all days? I could continue to lie, I knew, but some strange sense inside me told me that my day of reckoning had arrived. Damn!

"Your father?" I whispered, using the evasion to give myself time to think about what to say.

"Yes, my father. You've always told me the truth about everything else, even when it was difficult for us both. Yet the most important thing, you hide the truth from me." She was angry, really angry.

"Carlie, what's going on?" I asked quickly, unable to comprehend what she was so mad about.

My fear increased when she pulled away from me and stepped away from the bed. My arms felt empty, and a pain started in my chest.

"I went to Seattle to pick up your present, but I made another stop. You see, the girls in my class have teased me for years about my eyes…and just who happens to have green eyes like mine…Seattle's resident playboy." Her words froze my heart. NO! Please God, NO! She couldn't have! My heart pleaded that she hadn't, but my mind knew that she was stubborn enough to do it. Please Lord…I'd paid the price for my past sins a multitude of times. Her words continued even though I wanted them to stop and I felt my heart racing, uncomfortably. "I went to his work, attempting to see him, and guess what I found out. His name is EDWARD Anthony Cullen."

I felt faint and sat up trying to gasp for breath. Oh God, I was going to have to tell her. I'd hoped to do this when she was older, more capable of understanding.

"Carlie, please come here," I begged, wanting to feel her, needing to touch her.

"No!"

That word froze my soul. Without thought to my status, I felt for the latch of the bed and heard it crash down. I moved quickly to attempt to get to her and cried out in pain when I accidentally tore the IV from my hand as I lunged out of the bed. I felt blood drip from the wound as she cried out for me to stop.

"No!" I yelled back, determined to get to her. I stumbled, my hands out in front of me attempting to find her.

"Mama, stop. I'm sorry. I'll come to you."

Within a second, I felt her wrap her arms around me and scream Felix's name at the same time.

I ignored her screams as I patted her face…it was just a little blood. "Baby, please let me explain. Please…it is a long and complicated story. I promise, I'll tell you everything. You have to let me explain," I begged again, even as I heard the sound of footsteps coming into the room.

"Isabella," Dr. Felix said to my side and grabbed my hand. I assumed the other footsteps were the nurses.

"Mama, I met him," she whispered in a strangely hurried voice. "I need to tell you everything," she gurgled in a panicked voice.

Met him! Oh No! No! I'd kill him if he was rude to her. I could only imagine what he'd had to say…well if he'd had anything to say at all.

I heard the heavy footfall beside me and felt a degree of relief. "Jacob!" I called out to my savior and reached to grab him, feeling like I was about to pass out. The flush feeling of my face and neck told me I might be right. However, instead of making contact with the broad forearm I expected, I grasped an only slightly smaller one. Electricity and heat singed me, and I gasped pulling back quickly and inadvertently stepping into Felix.

"Bella…" the velvet voice called.

The sins of my past had found me.

"Damnit, Bella, don't pass out…"

Darkness found me.

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><p><em><strong>So, I'm wondering what you think? Reviews will get a sneak peek into next chapter and a brief view of Alice's thoughts…<strong>_

_**I'm content1april on twitter. Come join me, I'm still attempting to learn what to do. **_

**.net/s/7352604/1/Cliche**In a place far, far away lived a beautiful…oh, forget it. Who are we really kidding here? This is Hell. This is high school. Welcome to Forks.

.net/s/7046967/1/Once_Bitten Edward finally meets the love of his existence but can't resist her singer's blood. Can their fairytale love survive a horror beginning or will Bella's newborn grief, an outraged wolf pack, and the offended Volturi deny them their happily ever after?


	5. Karma

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.

To my peeps, Suzie55 and LemonMartinis who encouraged me to put this out there and did me the favor of pre-reading and making suggestions, and TwiLoverSue who told me to venture in and looked over this for grammar. Can't thank you enough. You are my heroes! Suzie has a really good story going on right now! Cliché' TwiLoverSue has a great Twilight AU – Once Bitten and a new Regency Romance – A Forbidden Love (links below!) Yes, those are rec's!

I must acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me keep it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherriola. You my dear are a gift!

To my readers – YOU ROCK! I am totally blown away by the response to this story. Coming from an author who has previously only done all-vamp stories and who has been thrilled to get a few reviews a chapter – I'm dumbstruck. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Eternally Ebony (don't worry, I promise to finish), Nykey77 (hoped this helps), Nanet (explanation coming), lahlah (I promise to try to keep it coming), Reeka (hang in there – it'll make sense); vivafortune17 (you'll learn soon about the sight – but I will be keeping it realistic) – Couldn't leave you review replies, so please accept here!

Okay, Okay, so we have a reunion, but you weren't seriously expecting HEA just yet – right? And...we meet an old "friend"...

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><p>Edward POV<p>

We'd all heard Carlie's scream, and this time, Jacob's attempt to block me hadn't worked. I'd beaten him into the room and to her side. She'd thought I was him and reached out to me. I'd been struck dumb when she touched me, as the heat that was Bella ran up my arm, to my chest. It had been all I could do to force her name out. Then she'd turned white, whiter than white. I'd screamed at her to not pass out, but it was futile, and she'd slumped into Dr. De Luca's arms.

Chaos ruled while he lifted her effortlessly and placed her onto the bed. Ignoring us, he worked to stop the flow of blood from her hand. He'd said only five words. "Out of my patient's room."

With those words, the Cullen crew was banned not only from her room, but also effectively from the waiting room and the hospital, as Carlie had asked me to leave. I knew it had been because of the utter devastation that she'd seen on her mother's face when I'd spoken her name. The utter devastation that I'd seen in my dreams…nightmares…for the past week. Carlie had, of course, called to speak to me, but our conversations had been stiff and formal. From the disjointed calls, I'd ascertained that Bella had awoke just a few minutes after passing out, and that she'd gone home the next day. Other than that, I'd been given nothing. Well, that was until the notice from Bella's attorney had arrived arranging a meeting.

This was not how I'd wanted to speak with her, but my calls to the number my detective had uncovered for the house had gone unanswered. Bella's voice had greeted me when it switched over to the message machine, and I'd probably called back at least ten times just to hear it. Finally, I caved and left a message asking her to call me. I'd left her dozens of messages, each one pleading for her to just give me the opportunity to speak to her. The irony that I was now the one leaving pleading messages did not escape me. The second attorney's letter had stopped the phone calls with the legal jargon threatening harassment charges. Of all the people she'd chosen as her attorney…

So, my whole family waited impatiently with me for Bella and 'her attorney' to arrive. Jenks had been astounded at the name on the letterhead.

"Anthony, do you want to explain to me how the mother of your child…a child I must say I was totally unaware of until this week…could afford one of Seattle's best lawyers. Particularly, when you've led me to believe that she most likely could not afford such representation." He'd had the audacity to raise his eyebrows at me.

"Your guess is as good as mine," I'd replied in a smart-ass tone as I signed the paperwork he'd prepared. Bella and Carlie were now the benefactors of my will, contrary to the caution Jenks had suggested.

I still hadn't asked the detectives to look into her financial situation. That was next. They'd done the snooping about her past, uncovering next to nothing…other than the fact that Bella and my daughter had been living a quiet life for the past fourteen years literally underneath my nose. The information about my daughter had been easy to find as well, and I couldn't help but swell with pride when I learned about her brilliant mind, excellent grades…and musical ability. Esme cried when we heard the recording I'd been able to acquire of her last piano recital. She was probably even more talented than me. I couldn't say really. It had been years since I'd touched the baby grand at my parents' house.

Jenks tapped his pencil nervously against the table…well, that was until Mrs. Brown came in to inform us that our expected guests had arrived. Then, he transformed into the efficient business machine I needed within a blink of an eye. Aro Velathri walked through the door first and moved to the table setting his satchel down on it, then Jacob came behind him, followed by Leah and Bella. Bella had one hand on Leah's forearm, the other holding a white cane that she used to scan before her. Leah took Bella's hand and placed it on the back of the chair that Bella was to utilize. I watched as her hand skimmed along the material to orient herself as she made her way to sit down. She leaned her cane against the table.

Seeing her again, the breath rushed out of me. Unlike the day of her accident, she was dressed to kill in a royal blue suit and matching shoes. I'd seen Alice's eyes go to them in approval, so I knew they had to be expensive. But what caught my attention was the killer legs attached to them and highlighted by the cut of the skirt. Traveling up the line created by the "fuck me" shoes, I came to her tiny waist then my attention was taken by the display of her breasts, before I moved on to her face.

Exquisite. There was no other word that could be used.

Her hair was swept back and held by a clip so that the mass of it hung down her back in soft chocolate-brown waves. Someone, I was guessing Carlie, had helped her apply makeup and it was artfully done…just enough to highlight her extraordinary beauty. Doe-like lashes framed her astonishing deep brown eyes, and I would bet my paycheck that the redness of her lips had less to do with makeup than it did with her natural lushness. The beautiful girl I loved had grown into a ravishing and sophisticated woman. My heart ached at the years I'd lost…given away…thrown away.

Leah moved to sit by Aro, having given Bella the chair to her side between her and Jacob. They were protecting her, not allowing the opportunity for me to get close to her. I glanced at Emmett and he moved quickly allowing me to take the chair directly across from her. It put Jenks to my side and Emmett to his so that Em could look at any documents that they'd brought as well. Having an attorney for a brother often came in handy for me.

"Shall we get started," Aro said.

I couldn't help but want to tear his throat out. He and his two brothers had built an empire. It was rumored that their Sicilian roots weren't entirely clean, but there was no denying that the Velathri brothers were damn good lawyers and even better "politicians." They were well respected in the community and dabbled in everything from criminal defense to business. My family was well aware of Aro's expertise. We'd benefited from it ourselves.

I wanted to growl out in rage when Bella's eyes, eyes that had been unknowingly focusing directly across the table at me moved toward the sound of his voice.

"Does your client wish for a paternity test?" he asked Jenks.

"No, that won't be necessary," my representative answered. We'd discussed this and against his wishes I'd declined that action. Carlie was mine. There was no doubt.

"Very well. My client has given me her stipulations, and if those are agreeable, the terms she has proposed for visitation."

Jenks interrupted. "First, there are the terms of child support. My client would like to agree to those stipulations first so that Ms. Swan doesn't believe that the amount being offered is in direct relation to the terms of the agreement."

"That won't be necessary, Jenks. My client does not wish to receive child support from Mr. Cullen," Velathri said quickly and in a dismissive tone.

Bella had tensed at the mention of money. I knew she must be thinking and remembering that this was the root of all the evil between us. I kicked Jenks under the table when he did not immediately provide rebuttal.

"Aro, you and I have negotiated over many tables together. Mr. Cullen fully acknowledges that Carlie Swan is his biological child. In the light of total transparency, against my wishes he does not desire DNA testing. He desires to give Ms. Swan and his daughter the financial freedom to do as they please without the worry. There are quite a few stipulations he would like to make in regards to supporting them."

Aro glanced down the row at Bella in an inquisitive fashion, and it was then that I noticed Jacob smirking at me. I'd been too occupied by Bella to pay much attention to him, and I took pleasure in seeing that his eye was still slightly swollen and bloodshot. It matched my own.

"Isabella?" Aro asked.

I waited on pins and needles for her to answer him so that I could hear her voice. She denied me by barely shrugging her shoulder.

"Very well," Aro said, and I believed I'd won that round until his next words shocked me. "Jenks, against my wishes, Ms. Swan has directed me to make you aware of a few details. She neither needs, nor desires, Mr. Cullen's money…"

_Edward, what do you mean….I don't care about your money, I only care about you._

_Sure, bitch, that is just what you've been telling everyone. I was just a free ride for you…admit it._

_Edward, please tell me what has happened…_

I missed Velathri's next words while reliving just the small snippet of the utter destruction I'd delivered to Bella that day.

"Bella, please, let us help you with Carlie's care and yours…" Esme cried out unable to control herself.

Bella stiffened and barely restrained herself from turning Esme's way.

"Mrs. Cullen, please," Jenks called her to order.

My dad grabbed my mother's hand to comfort her. Mom was absolutely devastated by all of this. She'd been the first one to approach me during my hellion years…uncertain as to whether we'd done the right thing or not. I'd been unmerciful in my response to her. I'd long since made amends to her, but I knew that she was an utter wreck over this situation.

At my mother's outburst, Bella's attorney sniffed his displeasure in an elegant way, making me want to pull his shoulder-length black hair out. He knew my mother…why was he so surprised she would feel this way? He murmured, "Ms. Swan does not need the money being offered." He turned to Bella again and this time Leah stated her name.

"Bella?"

My Love waved her hand at them impatiently, and Aro signed a little as if he was disgusted. He took a deep breath. "Currently, Isabella's latest children's book is on its tenth week on the nation's best-seller list. I do believe at last count her royalties for this one alone amounted to 1.2 million dollars. In spite of the generous donations she makes to charities with each signing, this book's take combined with the money she has invested over the years, at my company's recommendation I might add, has made her a very wealthy young lady. She has no need of your or anyone else's money to support herself or her daughter." His tone was snotty and tinged with pride, almost as if he was her father.

I couldn't breathe, but it didn't stop the others in the room from gasping aloud. Bella had done it…she'd actualized the dream she'd shared with me under the covers of darkness when we'd shared our hopes and aspirations for the future.

"_I want to write, Edward. I want to produce stories that make you cry and laugh, and that brings the world alive…"_

"Wait! You are that B. Swan," Rosalie stuttered out bringing my attention back to the present. She didn't know Bella, but she obviously knew who she was. "My girl loves your books…" she left off and I frantically attempted to search my memory for anything that would make me understand what was going on. I'd read many books to Emmett and Rosalie's girl…B. Swan? Wouldn't that have sparked off a million regrets in me…enough to make me remember?

Bella didn't answer Rosalie, but Leah did. "Yes, she is the one."

Rosalie's mouth popped open in a look that made her exquisitely beautiful face comical. It was a mixture of hero worship, stunned disbelief, and dread.

"My client is here solely to speak about the terms of visitation for Carlie."

I saw Jacob's hand reach over and pat Bella's, and then they joined hands as if he was giving her strength. He caught me glaring at their embrace, and he grinned maliciously.

"_Yeah, mother fucker, I'm her support system, and you have to go through me to get to her_." I didn't have to be a mind reader to figure out what he was most likely saying.

"Isabella," Aro murmured.

Fuck! What was it with these Italians and using her full name. It enraged me. Shaking off the anger, I sat up straighter, realizing she was about to speak, but she remained quiet for at least half a minute. So much so, that I began to believe that she'd changed her mind.

"Who is present?" she asked, stunning me with the sound of her voice. In the back of my head, I rationalized just how wrong it was that she should have to ask.

Jenks answered. "Mr. & Mrs. Carlisle Cullen, Emmett and Rosalie Cullen, Jasper and Alice Whitlock, myself, and Anthony Cullen."

She twitched at me being called Anthony. I wondered why. Shaking off whatever had made her uncomfortable; she took a deep breath and started.

"Since Carlie and I live in Seattle, there is no reason not to propose an open visitation schedule with stipulations. She is fourteen-years-old and quite capable of making her own decisions. If she chooses to spend the night at…Anthony's…" the name sounded awkward coming from her "…home, or his parent's home, she could be delivered to school just as easily as from mine. She has several commitments throughout the week that would need to be attended to…predominantly her music lessons and volunteering commitments."

She twisted, and I caught the subtle tension this movement belied.

Jenks jumped in at this moment. "Ms. Swan, this is a generous offer and more than my client expected or had planned to propose. Your stipulations?"

Bella sat straighter as if she was preparing to be hit. I grimaced seeing the look that came into her eyes. It was a dead one…and it had nothing to do with the uselessness of them.

"There will be no discussion of the past with my daughter. I won't have her poisoned by the beliefs of the Cullen family about me. We will come to an agreement in this room of what will be shared with her. Any variation from that agreement and I will jerk my permission."

I gasped, unable to comprehend that she would believe that we would do something so… My reaction was echoed around the room, and I saw my mother begin to cry. Alice did as well. There were so many things that needed to be said here, and I didn't want to do it in front of strangers.

"Bella, may I please…" her eyes and head jerked forward, focusing in on where my voice was coming from for only the briefest of moments, then she turned quickly toward Jake, all but cutting me off. I stumbled seeing her reaction before beginning again. "Aro, there was a major misunderstanding between Bella and my family that needs to be cleared. Would you and Jenks give us the time to speak alone?"

"NO!" Bella hissed out turning back to her attorney.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Mr. Cullen, I am fully aware of your history with my client. She shared everything with me." At my stunned and disbelieving face he uttered again, "Everything."

My eyes jerked to my father as he sat forward to begin speaking. Aro's gaze took in my father's face and began talking before Carlisle could.

"There is to be no contact between the Cullen family and Isabella Swan other than that necessary to make arrangements for Carlie's visits. Carlie will be told that there was a misunderstanding about Bella's pregnancy, and that you thought she was sired by another man. Bella has agreed to tell Carlie that she cheated on you and that you were unable to forgive her."

"NO!" I screamed out rising to my feet, and almost laughed to see Jacob doing the same, glaring down at the small woman by his side. It was also obvious that Leah had not expected this. Her face was ashen.

"Absolutely not," I continued. "Bella, you are not going to take the blame for my stupidity," I swore out.

"HELL NO, Bella! You are not going to take the fall for this fucker and his 'too good for anyone' family."

I saw Carlisle's ire beginning to rise at Jacob's accusations, but honestly what else could he believe.

She held a shaking hand up, cutting everyone off. "I will not have Carlie discover that she was unwanted by her father and his family. She will forgive me, if she believes that I was a silly young girl. I've thought this through, and it is the only way for her to come through this with an intact sense of self and being loved. I don't want her to know that the Cullens did not desire to be a part of her life until now," she announced with a shaking voice.

"Ok, damnit, enough. Bella we have to talk, and if you are unwilling to give us the opportunity to do so privately, then I will do so in front of everyone," I swore out.

If I'd thought she was stiff before, it was nothing compared to the statue she became. "Aro, we can leave now," she said through stiff lips and went to rise.

Jacob smiled victoriously at me as I rushed to stand as well.

"Ms. Swan, Please forgive the outburst, sit please. Allow us to hear the rest of your stipulations first," Jenks threw out attempting to save the meeting.

My outburst had damaged her willingness to cooperate. I could tell. She sat down and moved her hands to the table in front of her, staring down in their general direction. I was amazed at her spatial orientation.

She took a deep breath before beginning. "I have several. One, we will come to an agreement about the story that will be told to Carlie. It will be a story that allows her to walk away with dignity and respect. Two, all communications between the Cullen family and me will go through attorneys. Three, Carlie's wishes will be respected by both sides, no matter how painful those wishes may be. And lastly, An…" she cleared her throat "…Anthony will refrain from having 'guests' in his home while our daughter is in his residence. She has not been exposed to random partners in my household, and I won't allow her to be exposed to that during her time with him. I'm not asking him to curtail his activities other than when it may affect my daughter."

Pain ripped through me. I'd done this to myself…acting out sexually with any woman I saw fit…attempting to erase the memory of her loving me.

"That will not be a problem," I muttered hoarsely causing everyone but Bella to turn to me.

Bella had yet to directly address me, and this time was no different. Aro began speaking for her again. "Very well, we will draw up the paperwork where Ms. Swan agrees to the conditions…"

"NO wait!" Carlisle finally took pity on me. "Edward…" Bella jerked hearing my name "…isn't agreeing to all the terms. I believe he was just answering to the first and last two. We will not agree to the no communication…Bella we need to speak as Edward has said."

Thank God my father knew me as well as he did. I was still reeling from the pain of realizing that Bella thought I would fuck someone while Carlie was with me. My "fucking" of anyone had stopped the moment Carlie walked through the doors of this room and turned my life around by her sheer existence and the gift of knowing where Bella was…and that she was alone. The only thing I planned to do from here on out was to make love…and to the person across the table ignoring me. To think of attempting to touch anyone but her ever again made me sick…sicker than even what my contact with the women of my past had already made me.

My father continued as I attempted to contain the agony within me. "Aro, my family did Bella a grave injustice fourteen years ago. We were all guilty…immensely. There is no doubt in our minds now that Bella attempted to notify us of her pregnancy, but through our own stubbornness and idiocy we remained unaware of Carlie's existence until a week ago. We are now aware that Bella did notify us by mail, thanks to Mrs. Black's clarification; however, unbeknownst to us, that letter was destroyed without Edward ever knowing about it."

He reached into a file that we'd provided to Jenks, and pulled out the sworn affidavit in it. I'd all but wanted to strangle Tanya when we'd confronted her. She'd been genuinely confused about our questions until she sat for several minutes to reflect back to our first months together. When a look of horror filled her face, I'd known then that she'd remembered getting the letter. The only reason I wasn't in jail for killing her was her genuine remorse. She hadn't read the letter, destroying it before I could return home to find it. When I'd shared the copy of what had been sent to me, she rushed to the bathroom and vomited for an hour. She'd written Bella a personal letter and sealed it, but had also provided a certified statement to be presented to the attorney in regards to her culpability.

I'd thrown the sealed letter in the fire. "What the hell is that going to do, Tanya? She can't even read it. What could you say to her that would make up for the shit we threw at her?"

She cried more, and then I'd felt guilty, as she was pregnant and genuinely happy for the first time in her life. I was more at fault than her for the hell my life had become. I was the one that screwed another the night I'd been fed lies and believed them.

"Edward and I have berated ourselves immensely for not letting the private detective we hired years ago finish his job. It wouldn't have made up for the first years of Carlie's life, but at least we could have had more than this. Bella, my dear, please give us an opportunity to explain. I know you do not owe us anything, but perhaps if you'd listen, we might find a better solution than the bitter truce you are proposing." He quickly pushed the letter across the table to Aro, masterfully planting our first seed.

Bella had paled at Carlisle's words, and I saw huge tears forming in her eyes, and I clenched my fists on the table. It was the only way that I could avoid jumping over it and pulling her into my arms.

"Bella, I won't allow you to take the blame for me. I will tell her the truth. I didn't know about her, Love." She tensed up at my use of her special name, and tears spilled over onto her cheeks and rolled down. My hands tore into my hair in frustration at her sorrow, and I saw something flicker through Leah's eyes at my agitation. "I am a bastard, Bella. I won't deny it. I destroyed every chance I had of happiness when I did what I did to you. But I won't have that beautiful girl, that you have raised so admirably, think that you are anything but what you are…innocent, loving, and…perfect. I will be honest with her and hope she will have one tenth of the heart her mother does and forgive me. Please just let me explain…I don't expect you to forgive me easily, if ever. However, Carlie doesn't need to be lied to, particularly in a way that makes you the bad person. The truth is perfectly fine, and it will put the blame on the individual that deserves it…me."

Jacob frowned at me as if he was attempting to puzzle out what my game plan was.

"Bella, my Love, just a few minutes is all I ask," I pleaded.

She stood, reached for the cane, and then placed her hand on the back of Aro's chair. "This meeting is over. Sign the agreement, Aro, allowing Carlie the ability to choose to come and go. If the Cullens want her to know the truth, then I will attempt to couch it in as positive a manner as possible on my side. However, if I hear one remark come out of her mouth about my 'greed' we will pull the agreement faster than they can blink. Jacob, Leah, can we go home," she murmured. She sounded weary.

"Bella, wait…" I said, standing so quickly that the chair rolled away from me and crashed into the wall.

She hissed out. "Anthony…" she swore out. I relished hearing her talk directly to me for the first time, even if she used the wrong name. "I have nothing further to say to you. There is no particular reason you and I would have to speak. The terms of visitation will be clear in the agreement. Your attorney can contact mine for any clarification."

"I want to explain, to ask you to consider forgiving me…in due time. I am not the man you think I am."

"I don't even know who you are…I don't believe I ever really did," she said turning back to face in the direction my voice came from.

"I know you, Bella. I know you don't believe that."

Her face twisted for the barest moment in agony.

"No…you don't know me. You never did…neither did your family…if you could believe only a small bit of the filth you accused me of. I was a naïve and stupid girl then, who made a life altering decision. I would say that it was all a horrible mistake, but I…we have the most perfect child as a result of it, so I refuse to say that everything was tragic. Goodbye…" she said quietly, just before starting toward the door using the cane to feel her way.

I went to move around the table to get to her…to keep her from leaving, but Jasper caught me holding me by my arms. "Don't," he whispered softly as she walked through the door with Jacob directly behind her. "We've planted the seed, Edward. Don't force her. It will only result in making it worse."

Leah stopped at the door, looking back at me and my terror with a confused look on her face. Her eyes moved to Jasper's face with his words, and she shook her head slightly before walking out the door, closing it behind them.

Aro summed it up with just a few words. "I do believe Edward that the phrase 'karma's a bitch' is entirely appropriate here. It would seem you've fucked up royally. Allow me to show you just how much," he said with a sanctimonious smile, tapping the papers in front of him with sadistic glee.

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><p><em><strong>So, I'm wondering what you think? Reviews will get a sneak peek into next chapter and a brief view of Jacob's thoughts…<strong>_

_**I'm content1april on twitter. Come join me, I'm still attempting to learn what to do. **_

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7352604/1/Cliche**In a place far, far away lived a beautiful…oh, forget it. Who are we really kidding here? This is Hell. This is high school. Welcome to Forks.

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2086771/TwiLoverSue:** Once Bitten and A Forbidden Love


	6. Truth

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.

To my peeps, Suzie55 and LemonMartinis who encouraged me to put this out there and did me the favor of pre-reading and making suggestions, and TwiLoverSue who told me to venture in and looked over this for grammar. Can't thank you enough. You are my heroes! Suzie has a really good story going on right now! Cliché' TwiLoverSue has a great Twilight AU – Once Bitten and a new Regency Romance – A Forbidden Love (links below!) Yes, those are rec's!

I must acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me keep it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherriola. You my dear are a gift!

Curious onlooker (hope you stay with me and keep "looking on"), Mediagirl22 (hope you're still reading!), Midnightblupuppy (hopefully this is fast enough), Magentablue (those are the best stories and I hope I give you one here!), Monica J (love my Aro – I've written a vamp story where he turns out interestingly – thought I'd bring him over here); Kikita (hope it's still there after this…)

Okay, I must tell you a few things:

Sorry I didn't send a preview of the chapter for those who had reviewed – only sending the Jacob POV. I wrote too much and the review reply wouldn't let me include it all!

You'll learn why Bella hasn't had the surgery…just hang on. There is a reason and purpose to everything.

Aro and all the other Velathris (as they are called here) will be part of the story. They are the good guys. I am finishing up a New Moon AU where I wrote them in all their glory, but was able to show their "shades of grey." I enjoyed it so much, that I wanted to play with them just a little longer. If you want to see me destroy them…venture over to Harvest Moon and Full Moon Rising (my Shimmer and Vampie award winning Post Breaking Dawn stories).

Lastly, this chapter is dedicated to Kenny A. A wonderful boy who lived a life that touched so many in eleven simple years. It was a privilege to be a part of your short life and to have a hand in finding your forever family. Your death has reached more than you will ever know. As I sat in the celebration that was your funeral this week…I realized that I knew God's answer to your question. God…is the zebra black with white stripes, or is it white with black? I could almost hear our father's voice… "Kenny, does it matter…"

Kenny's soundtrack: "Never Let Go" Matt Redman; "You My Love" Marcus Foster.

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><p>Bella POV<p>

I made it to the car before I broke down and the tears began pouring from me in earnest. I could feel my hands shaking as Jacob handed me off into the back of the car, and I fumbled to find the seatbelt. I tried miserably to fasten it and failed. My hands were shaking too badly.

I heard his slight huff before he said softly, "Bella, I got it."

His patience caused the tears to turn into sobs, and that only increased when I felt Leah slide into the seat beside me. She pressed my head into her shoulder and that was all it took as fourteen years of anguish began to pour down my face.

"I…I'm…I'm so sorry," I blubbered.

Leah snorted, and I heard the depth of it from where I was pressed to her. Jacob cranked the car as he cursed, and I felt the motion as we backed up.

"Bella, the only time I've ever seen you cry is when Jake brought you home from the hospital, when you'd found out about Charlie. Don't you think in the fourteen years since then you've earned it," Leah said quietly, as she wrapped her arm around my shoulders.

"Can't let Carlie see me," I said through the sobs.

"I asked Sam and Emily to come over and meet the kids off the bus. I didn't know how long we would be, so we'll go to dinner and compose ourselves before we go home," Jacob growled out from in front of us.

I would have asked what he needed to "compose himself" from, but I could hear the anger radiating in the tone of his words. He needed to pound on someone…speaking of…

"Jake, don't you have practice tonight," I asked remembering that this was prime football season.

"Yup!" he said popping the "p" as he'd done since we were kids. "I got Riley to cover for me. Principal Cox approved my day off as long as I had it covered."

"Than…" I never even got the rest of the word out before I was crying again, and Leah's fingers combed through my hair soothing me.

A half hour and a stop later, we arrived at the wharf, a sack of the greasiest In-and-Out burgers Jake could find in hand. It was his idea of fine dining. Easing off the pumps I'd tortured myself with for the meeting, I felt around in the floor and found my flip flops. I was certain I'd look like an explosion at the crayon factory with my blue suit and yellow flip flops on, but I didn't care. Carlie had called them canary yellow and laughed at me for buying them, informing me that they were hideous. They were comfortable and that was all that mattered.

The Jimmy Choo's just didn't cut it for walking along the pier. I heard Leah to my side doing the same thing. Within minutes we were sitting on a bench, and I could feel the wind from the ocean blowing over my face and the salty smell tingled my nose. I grinned when Leah handed me a wet wipe and I washed the minimal makeup off that she'd applied before we left the house.

"No raccoon eyes, right?" I said to Leah at my side, wondering if I'd smeared the mascara.

"Nope, you're as beautiful as ever," she teased. "Jake, go get us some ice, they didn't give us enough in the drinks," she directed him. He grumped, but I could hear him quickly do her bidding…the man was whipped.

"You did good Bella, real good," she said softly as soon as he was far enough away.

"Leah, I was shaking like a leaf."

"Velathri will take care of them, don't worry," she promised.

I had no doubt of his skills. I was confused though. "What did they mean by 'they didn't know?'" I heard her hesitate. "Leah, give it to me straight."

She huffed. "You know I hate them, right?" She stopped only to see my slight nod. "It's hard not to when I know what you went through, but honestly Bella, I don't think the Cullens, including Edward, knew about her. He looks at her like she is a goddess or something," she said, and then it was almost as if she was going to say something else and didn't. She cleared her throat. "The elder Cullen handed Aro something, I don't know what it was, but it looked to be a certified letter. Incredibly, I do think that when Carlie barged into their office, it was the first time they had any knowledge of her," she finished off.

I sat still for a moment, holding my uneaten burger in my hand. "But how?"

"I bet the blond bitch had something to do with it," Jacob's deep voice appeared to my side, and I felt him sit beside Leah. "Babe, next time you want to tell Bella something secret, just tell me to cover my ears…" he busted her, but I could hear the ice shifting in the cup he handed her. I grinned through the tears, realizing he'd gone on his fool's journey even knowing what it had been.

I remembered the picture I'd seen of Tanya, Edward's girlfriend. She was beautiful…every man's dream. She'd nothing to fear from me, so Jake's words made very little sense. "Well, I guess that explains why he never bothered to track us down," I muttered, letting the agony break over me for just a moment. "It seems that the family wants to have contact with her now, so I bet had they known, they would have been a part of her life all along."

"Bella, why are you making it easy for them?" Jake forced out gruffly.

By the mumbled sound of his voice, I knew he'd shoved a hamburger into his mouth. I could imagine how he looked…bread hanging out of the corner while he forced as much as possible in. Leah had told me he didn't look very much older than he had when I'd lost my sight. The workouts with the kids at the high school had been good to him, she'd informed me. I could attest to his physique, having to rely on physically touching him for too many things. Somehow in my mind, I saw the same baby face Jake, with just a touch of grey distinguishing above his ears, and the monstrosity of a body he'd had when we were sixteen. When I'd given Leah this description, she laughed and said I was "spot on."

Thinking of the mutts back home, I always teased Leah that she'd gotten the pick of the litter. Jake resented that we referred to the Quileute boys as a pack of dogs…but it just really seemed appropriate.

"Jake, how would fighting them do Carlie any good? She obviously knows that her father is alive, not dead like I told her all those years. Do you really think me striving to keep her away from them is going to turn out to be a positive experience at this point? I'm going to have a hard enough time explaining why I lied. We've raised her to be a smart young lady, she can handle them. I'll do exactly what I said though, if they start in on the whole money thing, and pull my permission in a heartbeat. Maybe, just maybe, since she is half one of them, they'll take her under their wings. They are extremely loyal to one another." Boy, didn't I know the truth to that statement. "They protect their own." I added as an almost after thought.

I realized my hands had tightened into claws when Leah took the mangled, still packaged, burger out of them. She patted my hands softly. The sounds of the seagulls calling above us and the waves lapping against the pier finally calmed me. We were graced with a random wave of sunshine breaking through the clouds, and I hummed in pleasure as it crossed my face, sending prisms of light through my battered eyes.

"_Isabella, the fact you can see lights is a good sign. I am begging you to consider the surgery."_ Felix's demanding voice sounded through my mind momentarily.

"Bella, what are you going to do about…him," Jake finally asked bringing me back from my reflection and destroying the serenity of the moment.

"Nothing," I answered softly. "There's nothing to be done." We sat silently again for a little while. "Jake, what did you see when he looks at her?"

He swore out in characteristic Jake like fashion.

"Damnit, why are you asking?"

"Jake, you and Leah have always served as my eyes. I know what I heard in his voice. I want to know what you saw in his face."

"He loves her, Bella. I won't lie to you, as much as I would like to."

"Thank you." I, of all people, knew what it must have taken for Jacob to say that. Jake was her father in every way that counted. It had to be painful to see the man he hated encroaching on his territory. "He will be a good parent to her. When I found out I was pregnant, I worried about being a good mother, but I never worried about him being a good father. Of course, I was basing it on the person I thought he was." I stopped staring out toward where I knew the water rolled in gently, thinking back to the smiling face of the boy I'd loved.

"Well, Carlie will keep him straight," Leah stated. "If she can keep our son straight, she can keep any Cullen in their place easily."

Jacob snorted, and I heard the sound of him kissing her cheek. Being around them was a mixture of a blessing and a curse. It was nice to know that true love did exist, but the presence of it so close to me on a daily basis was difficult to bear. I buried the pain deep within me as I'd always done and smiled brilliantly at them.

"You are right. Carlie can handle him and the family. But I have to admit, I don't think that she will receive the same treatment as I did. As I said earlier, they put a great deal of stock in family. Tell me about Emmett's wife," I asked. Emmett had been my friend, and I wanted to know if he'd found happiness.

"God, Bella. She is fucking gorgeous," Leah offered up. "At first, I thought she might be one of those ice princesses, but she seemed warm enough. His eyes followed her like a hungry wolf."

"Did she look at him the same way?" I asked, curious to know. I knew what I wanted to hear…that Emmett had found someone worthy of him.

"Yes, she did," Jacob offered up.

"Good," I breathed out.

"And…Al…" I cleared my throat "…Alice. Her husband has such a different name. His accent sounded southern?"

"I think so. Movie star looks, but he seemed very perceptive. He stopped Edward from following us," Leah said gently.

"What?" I gasped out, not understanding.

"When you went to leave the room, he started to follow and Alice's husband stopped him. He seems very intuitive, but calming. He looked to Alice like she was his other half," she filled in.

Perfect for her, I thought, remembering Alice and how hyper she had been…

"_Get the hell off the property, Bella. There is nothing here for you. Why do you continue to call or even attempt to come here? No one wants you or anything you have to offer…"_

The memory threatened to destroy me as I remembered her shoving at me in anger. I'd stumbled back and then stupidly approached her again; unable to conceive what I was hearing. Of course, I'd tripped and instead fallen down the stairs, which had not been her fault, but I'd thought she'd at least show some concern at my welfare. I'd been so scared that the baby would be hurt. I remembered slowly pushing myself off the ground and moving in disbelief away from Alice's cold face toward the car. I'd driven straight to the clinic to be checked out. The baby had been fine much to my relief. I, however, was not. That had been the day my heart began to die.

"Carlisle and Esme?" I asked, wanting to get it over with.

"DILF…" Leah answered irreverently, causing me to snort.

It was exactly what I needed. As Jacob attempted to discover what Leah's abbreviation meant, I laughed, deep peals of pleasure ripping from me. It felt good to dispel the sense of dread from my chest.

"So Carlisle hasn't changed," I added earning Leah's humor.

"Damn, Bella…" I actually felt her shudder.

That was all it took for Jacob to groan out load in comprehension. "I'm sitting here…please. The man is old enough to be your father."

"Give's Freud's idea of the Electra complex a whole new meaning," Leah replied, ignoring her husband's complaints. She paused then and added seriously, "Esme is beautiful…"

Searing agony… "Yes, she is…"

"She was incredibly upset," Jacob added, somewhat perplexed.

"She'll take care of Carlie. Esme loves her children beyond her life. Carlie will fall under her protection."

They were smart enough to know I didn't want anymore information. I knew we needed to be headed home soon, as much as I would like to have the rest of the evening to gather myself together, I had other obligations. I had to figure out how to tell my child why I'd lied.

Aro's call came as soon as we'd gotten settled into the car. I was glad I would be able to hold the conversation without Carlie around. She'd attached herself to my hip since my hospital visit, and I knew it was from partial guilt, partial fear, and partial curiosity. I'd put her off with the explanation that I wanted to speak with her father before I explained why I'd kept my secret for so long. I think her guilt at going to see him without my knowledge and leaving out the shovel I'd tripped on had worked in this case, because surprisingly, she hadn't harassed me over it. It might have been because she also knew that I had scheduled a meeting so quickly.

Wagner's _Flight of the Valkyries_ blared out much to Jake's delight, and I grabbed my purse feeling for the phone. Jake had personally given Aro that ring tone insisting the man and his brothers were something not quite human…sinister. Didn't stop him from liking Aro as my lawyer, though.

"_Long as he doesn't get his teeth in you…I don't care. That goes for all those nephews he keeps trying to get you to marry. Nothing that comes out of that family is normal. They give me the heebie jeevies"_ he'd said.

"Aro," I said quickly flipping the phone open.

"Isabella, we completed the paperwork. I'll make a copy for your records, or they can just remain in my office if you so choose," he said in his slick voice. I understood why Jake felt the way he did. I'd been scared of him at first too, now he was like my beloved uncle…almost father. "They insisted that the second stipulation be marked off," he said subtly, and I knew he was curious.

"I figured they would after the way they spoke. It is fine. I'll just ignore the calls."

He huffed causing me to smile. "Isabella, an explanation would be nice right about now. I don't mind lying for you to keep Edward in his place, but why have you withheld this information from me? I am your attorney; your mind should be an open book to me."

I knew he was hurt that I kept my history a secret.

"The Cullen's requested that Carlie come to spend the weekend with them. Edward stated that he would pick her up from your house on Friday evening if Carlie agrees. I believe he desires to see you then…" he left off suggestively.

"I'll make sure to be gone. Leah can handle him."

"That is exactly what I wanted to hear, and I have the perfect solution." I knew what was coming. "We are all going to the retreat on the Sound for a family getaway. Come with us."

"Ummm…"

"No set ups this time, I promise! I spoke with Cia about her last fiasco. She will not risk your ire again. You know how much she adores you," he whined. Aro had been just as furious as I was about his wife's attempt to set me up with Caius' oldest, Afton.

"So you are telling me that the family doesn't have plans to bring a new found second or third cousin to foist off on me?"

"Well…I don't believe that there are any plans." He was a smart man hedging this way. His wife and two sisters-in-laws were forces to be reckoned with, and he was intelligent enough to know that the Velathri women ruled the kingdom. "I do know that Marcus' son, Demetri, is coming home for a visit from New York. He is looking to move back to Washington, and I think this is his first trip to find an appropriate house and venue for his business. He, if you will remember, is good friends with your young doctor friend. I cannot promise that Dr. De Luca will not be in attendance. However, I must point out that neither I, Marcus, nor Cauis had anything to do with you meeting him. Your natural grace can claim that dubious honor."

Aro's dry wit could be vexing at times. A small flame of warmth kindled in me at the thought of spending time with Felix. With the reality that Carlie would be spending time with the Cullens, I realized if there was ever a time to explore my feelings for him, perhaps now was it.

"Okay, I'll come, if Carlie goes to her father's."

"Benissimo! I'll have the car there for you around 5 p.m. That will give you time to say goodbye to my granddaughter and then be in the car heading toward me before anyone arrives. We will talk about all those secrets you've been keeping from me then. Ciao!" He closed the conversation off before I could even argue with him.

"I don't like you spending time with them anymore than I would you being around the Cullens," Jake snarled from in front of me.

"Felix might be there," I replied simply.

"I'll pack your bags myself then," he murmured, clearly happy about that possibility.

Jake and Felix had bonded over beer and football. Jake would happily hand me over to the Italian surgeon and most likely preside over our marriage bed to make sure that Felix knocked me up immediately.

I was grateful when Leah told him to shut up.

I waved goodbye in their direction before beginning the count that would lead me to the front door. Just before reaching it, I bent and felt forward coming into contact with the flowers Carlie had planted for me. No…I couldn't enjoy what the Viola's and Primroses looked like, but I could smell them and touch their velvet like faces. Once they bloomed fully, I would get Carlie to describe to me what colors were prominent so that I could create the visual in my head. It was the perfect gift, and one that fully relayed the thoughtfulness of the giver. I didn't deserve the credit for how wonderful she'd turned out, she was just that way.

I had to give her this gift…the gift of allowing her to form her own opinion of the man that was her father. I would give it to the boy I'd once believed in.

The door opened softly, and I heard her tiny voice, questioning me. "Mama?"

"Hey, baby doll. I was just enjoying the flowers."

Rising, I stepped forward toward her. I could tell Seth was beside her as the scent of his deodorant washed over me. It was amazing how much more perceptive I was to smells and sounds…things that would be overlooked by someone who had all their senses, but which served as critical components for me to negotiate my way.

"Aunt Bella, I'm going to leave you two alone," Seth said, his voice squeaking in and out of manhood.

I wanted to smile when he cleared his throat to get rid of the high pitch. He reminded me so much of Jake. He too was a good kid. I knew it would sound weird to most, but I was glad they already felt bonded. I wouldn't ever have to worry about my child. The level of devotion Seth had towards her…she would always be loved and cherished. He stepped in front of me and quickly kissed my forehead before I heard him quickly jog down the sidewalk.

I reached up and felt for the door frame and then followed the sound of Carlie's steps across the wood flooring. When I was outside of my normal habitat, I used a cane to sweep in front of me, but between this and Leah's house, I knew every inch. Reaching for the arm of the couch, I lowered myself to it and put the arm to my back. I felt the cushions barely depress when Carlie sat in front of me.

I didn't want to avoid this any longer, so I dove right in. "Baby, we signed an agreement that will allow you to visit your father and his family anytime you want. If you are with them, then they are aware you must be taken to your music lessons and to the hospital for volunteering."

"Okay," she answered slowly, almost hesitantly.

"It is up to you, no one else. I trust you. If it becomes too much, just let either me or…" I paused for a moment to keep the emotions from tumbling out "…your father know. You won't become a tug of war toy between us."

"Mama, why did you lie to me about him?" she said, cutting her teeth on my jugular.

"I only lied about him being in the war and dying. Everything else I said about him…was the truth…as I knew it when we were together." God that sounded awful, but it was the only thing I could think to say.

"I don't understand," she muttered, clearly asking for me to clarify.

"Your father, he moved with his family to Forks the summer between my Sophomore and Junior year in High School. The first day at school, he was all the girls could talk about…him and his brother, Emmett. Emmett is a year older. Anyhow, I caught a glance of him across the cafeteria floor, and I was stunned at what I saw. He was beautiful, obviously, but there was so much more. He didn't want the attention, I could tell, seeming almost shy." The memories threatened to tear me apart, and I knew I couldn't give myself the privilege to reminisce. "I admired him from a far and watched as one after one of the beautiful girls threw themselves at him. The weeks went by and one day I stayed after to help one of the teachers set up a display. It was then I heard the piano and went to discover who was responsible for the incredible music I heard. It was your father."

His body was bent over the piano as he moved his fingers deftly across the black and white keys… I shook myself to break free of the image.

"It is a long and complicated story, but suffice it to say, I was totally amazed that he would pay any attention to someone as plain as me. I fell head over heels in love with him and with his family. That year was probably the best time of my life. I really felt like I belonged with them, not that they replaced Charlie, but just that there was more… The summer between our Junior and Senior year, we finally became intimate. I was young and naïve. I'd never had a mother figure, and I certainly wasn't going to ask your grandfather about sex, and…as a result of that lack of preparation I was granted the most wonderful gift in all the world."

I went silent for a minute, and I could tell she was waiting for me to continue.

"I am not sure of all the reasons, but your Father figured out about that time that I wasn't the person he wanted to be with." I was pretty damn proud of the control I managed to keep in my voice. "He let me know in no uncertain terms, but I was adamant that I could convince him differently. Finally, the family cut me off after letting me know that they wanted nothing further to do with me. Once I realized I was pregnant, I did attempt to let them know, but it would seem by a cruel twist of fate…" a twist I was still uncertain about "…my letter to inform them never made it to the appropriate person."

"Mama, I don't…" she began to speak but I continued over her afraid that I would break down again if she asked specific questions.

"Baby, let me just get through this okay?" I begged, and I could tell I'd shocked her. The tone was one she'd never heard from me. "Carlie, I believe that your father never knew about you, now…but back then I had to assume that he did. I was shocked. I would've never guessed he would ignore his child…and it seems I was right then, and wrong for so many years afterward. I wouldn't have kept you from him, I promise. But I was young, only a few years older than you are now, and I'd lost your grandfather, and the boy I loved, my sight…and I just did the best I could. If Jake and Leah hadn't of been there…"

"Mama, you don't have anything to be sorry for…you are the best," she cried out grabbing my hand.

"I lied to you, because I couldn't stand for you to think that anyone wouldn't want you. It seemed kinder for you to believe that the man that was your father wasn't around because he couldn't be, not because he didn't want to be. The things I told you about him…that was the boy I knew." I would kill Him if he treated her less than special. I hoped the fact she was partially his would ensure that she saw what I'd seen for that magical year. "It seems I was right back then…he and his family seem anxious to get to know you."

She squeezed my hand, "Yeah, but Mama, I don't buy something."

My mind raced through my explanation looking for the holes. I couldn't explain his side, but I thought I'd done a fairly good job of keeping it if not positive, at least neutral.

She continued on through my panic. "He doesn't look at you like a woman he didn't want. He looks at you like you are his last salvation…"

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><p><em><strong>So, I'm wondering what you think? Reviews will get a sneak peek into the next chapter and a brief view of Seth's thoughts…<strong>_

_**Just FYI. The young man's death I mentioned before has really thrown me for a loop. I'm going to be spending time this weekend away from the computer and with my six kids. It'll be end of the weekend before I can respond, but I promise to do so!**_

_**I'm content1april on twitter. Come join me, I'm still attempting to learn what to do. **_

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7352604/1/Cliche**In a place far, far away lived a beautiful…oh, forget it. Who are we really kidding here? This is Hell. This is high school. Welcome to Forks.

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2086771/TwiLoverSue**: Once Bitten and A Forbidden Love


	7. Roses and Freesia

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.

To my peeps, Suzie55, LemonMartinis, and TwiloverSue. You guys have been my total inspiration to continue doing this thing.

I must acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me keep it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherriola. You my dear are a gift!

Magnetablue (I will attempt to get us there!); TwiMomForClaire (that you so much for your well wishes); Anon (Bella is strong even though she cried…hang in there with her), Kikita (hope I can continue to earn your esteem)

First, I want to say, thank you so much for all the kind wishes. Kenny A's death was really hard for me, but I have peace with where he is. Thank you…

**WOW!** I never expected such a reaction to the last chapter. Please know this…Bella is a very strong woman, tears aren't always a sign of weakness. Just hang in there with her. I have to admit, even the flaming reviews were exciting to get, as it is nice to know that people have such strong opinions in regards to these characters. Keep them coming…even if you are telling me to go jump. SMILE

* * *

><p><strong>Carlie POV<strong>

"Okay, Baby, do you have everything you need," my mom said fluttering around me like an erratic butterfly. She'd already felt through my bag seven times.

"Mama!" I laughed out. "You need to calm down. I have everything. Do you?"

I knew she did, I'd packed it for her. My question was meant to distract her. We'd spoken long and hard about this…my visiting the Cullens. She must have been worried about me considering how they'd treated her, but I knew that she was attempting to give me the opportunity to feel them out for myself. I was just glad she'd be visiting with Uncle Aro. It would give her a distraction so that she didn't worry about me.

Out of mischief, I'd contemplated only putting a two piece bathing suit in her bag knowing Felix would be there. But, something had stopped me. Something that hadn't been there before when I'd gone all out to encourage her in the past…my father's agonized face. I was torn now. I really liked Dr. De Luca. Before a week ago, it had been my ultimate desire to see my mother with him. Now, I couldn't say that. It wasn't that I'd carried dreams of my parents reuniting like some of my friends with divorced parents did, because honestly I hadn't known he even existed. But seeing his face the day at the hospital, and how he and his family had watched me, and how they'd attended to her…I was really confused. My confusion made me change my mind about the two piece suit. Anyway, Felix really didn't need the encouragement. Mama was the one who needed that.

"Well I don't know, do I?" she responded back with a flippant tone. She was perfectly capable of packing her own stuff, but it was one of the things I liked to do in taking care of her.

"Yeah, you do."

She grinned at me, and I was once again stunned by just how naturally beautiful she was. She moved over to the bar that separated the kitchen from the living room and felt for her purse. "You have the debit card," she said finding her wallet and bringing it out, "but I want you to have some cash as well just in case you need it for anything." She pulled probably a hundred dollars out.

"Mama, that is entirely too much. I can't imagine what I'll need it for," I said in protest

"Just humor me, please," she said, placing the folded bills into my hands. Then as if in afterthought, she stuttered out. "Our phones…"

"…are charged and the chargers are in the front pouches of the bags," I reassured her.

"Okay. Don't forget your Kindle; you'll go crazy without it if you can't sleep."

I gasped realizing that I had left it on my bedside table. "THANK YOU!" I yelled out, heading down the hallway.

Hearing the doorbell ring as I was picking it up, I was shocked to hear Uncle Aro's voice coming from the living room area, thinking that he was just sending his driver to get her. Running into Mama's bedroom, I saw her iPod sitting on her table. Just like I would go crazy without my kindle, she would become bored if she didn't have her audio books. I'd just downloaded some of her favorite authors' new books for her on it. But, I couldn't stop the grin that spread across my face when I stepped back into the living room. Everyone else was scared of my uncle, but not me. He'd been a part of my life for the past six years. In fact, it was hard to remember when he wasn't there. I ran into his outstretched arms.

"_Piccolo__Uno,_it seems that you are off on a journey this weekend," he said in his barely accented English.

"Yeah, I guess you can call it that."

"When do you expect your father to arrive?" he asked.

"Any minute," I said quickly, not unaware of how that information affected my mother. She became instantly nervous.

"We will leave then, so that we won't be in the way," he indicated. He nodded to the driver that had followed him in, and the man went to the bag I pointed to, throwing it across his shoulder and walking out the door.

Aro reached out to take my mother's arm and linked it through his, and I followed them out the door and to his Mercedes Maybach. Then Aro helped my mother into the car, and I leaned over to kiss her forehead.

"Have a good time, Mama, and don't worry about me."

"I won't, we've already beaten that dead horse. Call me this evening before you go to bed and let me know how you are doing, okay?"

"I will."

As soon as the door shut, Uncle Aro took my hand pulling me around to the back.

"Your phone, Carlie," he said holding out his hand. I reached into my jeans pocket and handed it to him, with a confused face. "You have all our numbers, but I have asked Santiago to stay in town this weekend. He can be at the Cullens within a few minutes if you need him," he explained, punching the number into the iPhone he'd bought me for my birthday.

I wasn't surprised that he knew where they lived, as I imagined he'd ferreted that information out immediately. He probably knew what they had for breakfast, what size clothes they wore, the places they frequented, and their weaknesses as well. Uncle Aro acquired information like most people breathed.

"Aren't they already coming out with a new model of this device at Christmas?" he asked, his question throwing me for a loop for a minute.

"Yes," I answered hesitantly.

"Very good, my Christmas list for you just narrowed."

I rolled my eyes at him, and he chucked my chin affectionately before leaning in to kiss my forehead.

"They know to treat you well. I will make their lives a living hell if they do not," he stated in a serious manner before walking over to where the driver held the door for him.

Seeing Uncle Aro about to get into the car, Seth loped over to join us from his house. While they exchanged greetings, I realized this would be the first weekend in my life that I'd gone without him and my mother. It made me feel extremely nervous…and sad. I held out my hand in farewell to my mom and adopted uncle, even though I knew she couldn't see it. He would tell her.

"Are you okay?" Seth said softly.

"Yeah, just really confused and nervous."

"It is going to be okay. They'd be crazy not to love you," he said with certainty.

"They were crazy not to love Mama," I responded, pointing out the elephant in the room.

"Yeah, well I'm not so sure they don't."

"I know, but it doesn't make sense."

"Well that is what this weekend is about a little, right?" he murmured, throwing his arm across my shoulder in reassurance.

I turned to him and smiled when I took in his handsome face. "Exactly." He smiled broadly at me and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of my head.

We went back into the house to await my father's arrival. As the minutes ticked away, Seth kept me settled by teasing me. I loved him with all my heart and soul. Contrary to all that seemed to be the natural order of things, we already both knew that we were it for each other. He was my other half. It had started when we shared a crib together and had gone from there. There had never been a time in my life that I hadn't known he would be my forever. After the fiasco of his father catching us holding hands, his subsequent threats, and Mama's frank discussion about birth control, we'd both collapsed laughing. We had a plan: First kiss at sixteen, no sex until we were married, which was going to happen before we went to college, the first baby would come only after finishing school. I was suspecting that we would both at least do graduate school. Seth already knew that he wanted to study law…he liked Uncle Aro, much to his father's horror.

Both of our heads jerked toward the sound of a car arriving.

"Do you want me to stay?" he asked.

"No, I'm fine. It'll be better if I get this over with by myself."

"Okay," he replied. "I'll let myself out the back door. Call me as soon as you get off the phone with your mom tonight."

He kissed my head again and exited out the back about the same time I heard the knock at the door. Taking a deep breath to brace myself, I stepped to the front door and opened it. It was surreal to see my father standing there.

"Carlie, it is good to see you," he said softly, and I was amazed at the gruff sound of his voice. I would bet that most would find it incredibly sexy. He was still dressed in a dark business suit, but he had loosened the tie. Somehow I could see him doing it in nervous agitation, most likely on the way here. Familiar green eyes scanned my face.

"Anth…" I stopped not knowing what to call him.

His smile was for the most part pure bliss. I only saw the tracest amount of sorrow in it.

"I'm sure that is probably going to be one of the first things we'll need to cover," he said with a degree of wit. "Until then, please call me Edward."

I saw him looking over my head, and I knew he was looking for her. "Come in," I said softly. "I just need to grab my bag." I turned because I wanted to see his face when I said the next words. "Mama, is already gone. She is spending time with Uncle Aro and Aunt Cia this weekend." He was good, but not perfect. I saw the twitch in his sharp jaw line and the brief flash of disappointment.

My eyes widened when as he stepped inside, he brought the arm he'd kept behind his back forward. He held two bouquets in his hand. One was a dozen of the most beautiful pink roses, the other deep purple flowers I was unfamiliar with. He selected the one with the roses and held them forward to me. "For you. I didn't know what type of flowers you liked, but Emmett always buys Emmy pink roses for her recitals."

"They're beautiful," I breathed out. And they were…the perfect shade of blush that exactly recreated the color that I knew graced both mine and my mom's cheeks. "Let me put them in some water. Would you like me to do the same for the flowers you brought for Mama," I offered gently.

He had the grace to blush prettily before his breath rushed out. Then he grinned a large crooked smile and I gasped, realizing exactly where I had gotten it from now. His eyes jerked to mine, seeing the same look on my face.

"Thank you, yes," he said softly, not even attempting to deny that they had been for her.

He followed me to the kitchen, but when I sat the large vase on the marble countertop, I could see his eyes hungrily devouring everything around us. By design, the kitchen, dining room, and living room were a large open space. Only the marble topped bar separated the cooking space from the large area that served as both the dining space and living room. The small table we always shared sat in a nook overlooking the meticulous backyard and the cozy living room with fireplace took up the rest of the area. Mama had insisted on state of the art appliances in the kitchen, and as such it was a cook's dream. I was proud of what she'd been able to accomplish with the designer. I was a baby, of course, when she bought the larger house and the servant's quarters, but I'd heard the stories though of how she and Aunt Leah had redesigned the two places. They'd done this house first, so that Mama could have the open space to live within. The main house with stairs had been hard for her to negotiate, particularly with two babies in hand at times.

It was beautifully decorated, but still very very cozy. It was my home, and I had a thousand memories attached to each and every thing. Memories that I could see he was hungry to know.

"Edward." His gaze jerked back to me. "Feel free to look around. I'm going to cut these so that they will last longer." I inhaled the fragrance off the deep purple flowers. "I think Mama will enjoy these when she gets back, so I want to make sure they are as fresh on Sunday as they are today."

A look of trepidation crossed his face, and I didn't know if it was from my comment or the thought of walking around unattended.

"Seriously, it is fine. I'll show you my room, as well, before we leave."

He nodded softly, moving purposely toward the row of pictures that were placed in the bookcase. I'd figured that was where he would go first. I knew what he would find there…pictures of me and Mama when I was a baby, of us in various candid shots over the years…Daddy, Aunt Leah, Samantha, and Seth mixed in randomly with us. As I cut the flowers, I secretly watched him scan the ones there, his eyes jerking rapidly between them. I turned to put water into the crystal vase and heard his soft gasp. Wondering which one had caught his attention, I saw that he'd moved to the other side of the fireplace and was holding the large frame that had sat on the mantle. It was a picture that Aunt Leah had insisted on…one professionally done of Mama and me just this past summer. Her friend worked with the top models in the profession, and what he'd been able to recreate was a masterpiece. Mama and I had been dressed subtly in all white, and a makeup artist had done our faces and hair. The scene looked ethereal set against a natural backdrop. We looked like twin angels…the only difference being the color of our eyes.

I loved the picture and from the sheen of tears I saw in his eyes, so did he. He turned to place it back on the mantle, and I saw his hand shaking. I also did not miss the other hand at his face. I suspected he was wiping tears away, but if I'd learned anything about men at my advanced age of fourteen, it was that they did not like to be called on emotions. So, I focused on arranging the pink roses and purple flowers together in a pleasing way. The purple flowers smelled heavenly, and I couldn't stop myself from asking, "What are the purple ones?"

He moved toward me, having finished his inspection of the area. "Freesia," he answered softly, the emotion clear in the timbre of his voice.

"They are wonderful."

His answer was a trembling smile. It was hard to equate the seemingly god-like man that graced the cover of every newspaper and local magazine with the human man in front of me. It reminded me of Grandfather Billy's famous words…_nothing__is__as__it__seems_.

"Let me show you the rest of the house before we leave. It's really a simple layout. I have one side of it and Mama the other," I indicated as he followed me down the hallway. "We have a small half bath here for when we have company." I walked to my doorway and turned left into it, grateful that my mom had insisted I clean it. I wasn't the most orderly of people at times.

He grinned seeing the chaotic explosion I considered a room. Every memento I'd ever possessed had some place on the walls and in the shelves of my built in bookcase.

"This reminds me of Alice," he barked out in laughter, and I couldn't help but grin back at how young he looked. "Walking into her room when we were kids was always like negotiating a field full of land mines. Our mom pulled her hair out until she came up with the brilliant idea of just shutting the door. She rarely ventured into Alice's room, and joked that if she did, she'd fall into it and not be found for a least a week."

I broke out in laughter thinking that my mom had said exactly the same thing. I kept the floor clean so she could negotiate the room, but all the other areas were mine.

My bathroom in direct contrast was spotless…I had a few anal tendencies. I wasn't surprised when he laughed again. "Now this, this is definitely me," he admitted, taking in my secret haven. Mama had insisted that the bathroom here be as luxurious as hers.

Yeah, I could see that he might be a little neurotic about a few things.

As we came back into my room, I made an instantaneous decision, knowing that I could obtain another fairly easy. Walking to my bedside table, I picked up my copy of the picture he'd so admired. Touching his arm to gain his attention from where he'd been reading my awards, I held the frame out toward him.

"I…" he stuttered seeing what it was.

I interrupted. "I would guess that you might like a picture of me, and it is the most current one I actually have. We'll be getting school pictures soon, but I don't think they'll do this one justice. If you don't want it…" I left off suggestively and barely hid my smile when he latched onto it like a starving man.

"Thank you," he said gruffly. In direct contrast, he clutched the crystal frame to his chest gently.

We moved then back into the hallway, and I pointed to the closed door at the end. "Mama's room is there."

Debating for a moment whether to show him inside, I eyed the door uncertainly. She was a private person, and I certainly didn't know if she would want him seeing her personal domain. I took the closed door as my answer, and turned to move back toward the living room, but not before catching the hungry look on his face.

Grandfather Billy was right…nothing was as it seemed.

**Edward POV**

"What kind of car is this?" she asked gently, her eyes wide.

"An Aston Martin Virage," I responded. I loved this car, but wondered if it would look too pretentious to her . As far as I could tell, she and Bella rode with Jacob or Leah everywhere. Jacob's Jeep was certainly top of the line, and I'd observed the back end of a black BMW I assumed was Leah's sticking out of the carport. I was hoping that mine wouldn't be too far out of place.

She shrugged adorably. "That will mean something to Seth, I'm sure. But I like it, it's classy and pretty all at the same time. I also like that it is a convertible." God, she was Bella reincarnate.

I growled at her playfully, "An Aston Martin isn't pretty."

She broke out laughing as I opened the door for her. "Sure…sure."

I shook my head in mock displeasure, but she had my card. She knew I was teasing. After opening the trunk, I placed her bag there and made my way around the other side. I was nervous as hell and disappointed that Bella had once again thwarted my plans. Narrowing my eyes, I realized I was going to have to ramp up my plans for attack.

"Will you hold this?" I asked her, handing the fragile frame with the priceless picture in it to her.

I'd recognized the familiar name on the print and had already determined that I would be contacting him. He owed me a multitude of favors from over the years, and I was determined that he would be allowing me to make copies of every print he had of them. What a small world… I wondered if I'd passed them unknowingly in his office. My last conquest was one of his favorite models. She hadn't taken the news well that I was calling off the relationship so soon. In fact, we'd just started seeing each other about the time the photographs had most likely been made. I wanted those pictures. I was certain there was more than just the one. In fact, I was convinced that David would have used Bella and possibly even Carlie for other shots to expand his resume. The camera loved them, and their natural beauty far eclipsed the artificial world he usually shot.

But the picture I'd just been handed…it would be my most precious possession because it had been given from a beautiful and willing heart. A heart so like her mother's…

I pulled out of the driveway after she waved to the figure in the doorway of the other house. It was Seth, I was certain.

"Carlie, I have a condo that I keep at the Four Seasons downtown. The family wants to see you as well, but I thought we might want to spend this night alone, so that we could talk before I expose you to the chaos of the Cullen Compound…as Alice calls it. It is your choice however," I left off.

She turned to me, "You don't have a house at the 'Cullen Compound?'"

"No, I have a suite in my mom and dad's home. I have space on the property, but I've never built. There is room though at the main house, in my suite, for you. We can go there, but honestly I can't guarantee you privacy. Everyone is to anxious to get to know you, including your young cousins."

Her eyes lit in pleasure. "How many do I have? I love babies," she squealed.

"Two from Emmett and Rose – Emaline, known as Emmy, and Ross." She raised her eyebrows at the names. "I know, they were determined to have names that reflected their own."

"And from your sister?"

"Another boy and girl from Alice and Jasper."

"Let me guess," she interrupted and patted her lips adorably in contemplation. That same action on her mother had driven me wild. "Alistair and Jas…" she paused and I waited in astounded silence "…wow…her's is hard to come up with. Jasmine?"

I snickered at her perceptiveness that Alice would follow suit. "Yes. It gave Alice fits. I thought the poor baby was going to be named Jasperine before it was over. Thankfully, Jasper put his foot down, and since he so rarely does it, Alice listened."

Even though Bella had also named our child after family, I was grateful she hadn't settled upon Edwina. I would have died. The coincidence was astounding that she would be the first to do it…even though we hadn't known it. Carlie's giggling warmed my heart. She was such a unique mix of child and adult; she was intelligent, and I would guess the extremely mature way she thought and spoke had to do with being an only child of a superbly intellectual mother.

I hedged for a moment, but knew I needed to give her an out. "I would like to speak with you tonight, to clear the air so to speak about what happened from my perspective. If afterward, you chose to end the weekend and go home, I wouldn't blame you. I'm pleading though for the opportunity for you to get to know us. What you will hear doesn't place us in the best light, but I swear it isn't who we are."

"Mama told me a lot about you, and how much she loved everyone in your family. Honestly Edward, she said it just didn't work out between you," she said subtly, but I could hear something else in her voice.

Again I decided to be blunt. "Did you believe that part of her story?"

"No," she said softly.

"Good girl. Because, that is just your mother attempting to make things right for all of us," I left off.

"Then, let's go to your condo so that you can say whatever you need to. I want to meet my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins even if I hear something I don't like. I can't promise what will happen after this weekend, but I would like to try," she said hesitantly.

"Thank you for the opportunity. The truth isn't pretty, Carlie. I was a monster and destroyed everything. I would like to explain, though, and have a chance to be a part of your life…whatever you'll allow me."

"Okay," she said, but I could hear how she forced the word out.

Turning toward downtown Seattle, I'd never been more scared in my life.

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><p><em><strong>So, I'm wondering what you think? Reviews will get a sneak peek into the next chapter and a brief view of Aro's thoughts…<strong>_

_**Just FYI. Thank you so much for all your kind wishes and the understanding of my need to take a few days. **_

_**I'm content1april on twitter. Come join me, I'm still attempting to learn what to do. **_

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7352604/1/Cliche**In a place far, far away lived a beautiful…oh, forget it. Who are we really kidding here? This is Hell. This is high school. Welcome to Forks.

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2086771/TwiLoverSue: Once Bitten and A Forbidden Love


	8. Monster

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.

To my peeps, Suzie55, LemonMartinis, and TwiloverSue. You guys have been my total inspiration to continue doing this thing.

I must acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me keep it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherriola. You my dear are a gift!

Smande (hang in there with me!); Magnetablue (hope this helps a little more); Kikita (Glad I hold your esteem!)

In addition, love, love, love the nickname that kfoll has given Alice – Malice! And totally forgot to mention this from the chapter before last, but it was suggested that I make sure to explain DILF (Dad I'd Like to Fu..)

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><p>For those of you that don't know, this is my first all-human story. I have two vamp stories posting at the same time as SOMP. However, I have submitted two stories (one light and fluffy, and one very much not so) to The Canon Tour over on FF. Would love for you to go over and read the stories and vote for your favorites. Hopefully one of mine will tickle your fancy.<p>

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/3041014/thecanontour

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><p>Edward POV<p>

Carlie watched as the streets passed us by, turning slightly to look at particular things that caught her attention. As best as I could determine, she seemed at ease.

I was a wreck.

I was afraid that what I would tell her this evening would permanently destroy any chance I had of becoming a father of some sorts to her. Would she be able to forgive me for the chaos my arrogance had caused? Would Bella, if I could ever corner her long enough to apologize? I narrowed my eyes slightly at how well she'd avoided me. While the irritation swirled within me, I couldn't help but marvel at Bella's strength. She was determined to avoid me, and in doing so didn't realize that I didn't want her to. Actually, she knew I wanted to speak with her, she just didn't know why. I was betting that she thought I wanted to set structured guidelines about our contact – and by not meeting with me she was taking care of it without communication between us being a necessity.

Little did she know I desired all kinds of contact…and not just the talking kind.

But did I deserve Bella? I'd asked myself that a hundred times since the child beside me had given me a new chance in life by walking through my door full of vigor and determination.

My conclusion was no, I did not. I'd been arrogant, a fool, heartless, and cruel. And although, I had some pride in a few of the things I'd accomplished over the years since I'd cleaned up, I knew that in love, I was a shell of a man, the edges around the façade cracking and brittle. I'd never promised any of the women I'd seen anything, but it didn't absolve me of what I'd done. I didn't deserve the chance with the child beside me, much less her mother.

But did I want to deserve her? Yes.

I needed to know what I could do, what steps I could take to make her love me again. For surely the love she'd held so dearly in her heart must have died, despite the statement she'd made in the letter I'd never received. My and my family's treatment of her surely had destroyed it; it would be inconceivable to think any differently.

I saw Carlie's eyes widen when we turned onto the street where my downtown condo was, and then I had to focus to pull us into the underground garage. John met me at the door and gave me a salacious wink seeing a female body in the car. It was a direct reminder of the path I'd chosen. I didn't think I could change his opinion of anything in front of her, so it became an awkward moment for me. Carlie was oblivious, but then I saw the horror in John's face when he saw how young she was. I wanted to laugh at the situation, but it would have been bitter laughter.

The doorman now thought that not only was I a lush (which he had wholeheartedly enjoyed), but a child molester as well. I saw the disgust wash over his face, and I glared at him.

The other doorman had opened the car door for her and given her a hand out. Having turned, she looked to me. Understanding to some degree washed over him when he saw her eyes and his face turned beet red knowing that I'd correctly assessed his thoughts.

"Carlie, this is John. He has been here as long as I've owned a residence. John, this is my daughter Carlie Swan."

He coughed attempting to clear his throat before he smiled at her and bowed slightly. Carlie found this funny and smiled right back at him.

"It is nice to meet you," she said politely.

Ignoring the plaintive look on his face, I moved to acquire her bag, throwing the strap across my shoulder. John threw one last look at me and my daughter and then jumped into the car and began to drive away.

We entered the elevator, and I inserted the key to the penthouse. I was only one of several individuals who resided in the top levels of the building and enjoyed getting to bypass any interruptions during my ride. Shame washed over me as I realized how many times I'd used that privacy to have sex with the women I had brought here. Several never even made it to my front door. Suddenly having my daughter with me in the same elevator put my behavior into garish perspective.

Emmett would be thoroughly enjoying my new found sexual compass. Sex had been sex…nothing more, nothing less. He'd always told me that one day I was going to rue my behavior. This kernel of wisdom had come after I'd drunkenly admitted to the fact that I saw Bella's face on every body I'd ever taken, had seen her hands on me, her lips tracing across my skin. After recovering from the "TMI shock" as he called it, he'd shaken his head in a sad manner.

"_Edward, you need to either find her and make amends, or you need to let go. In my opinion, you are perfectly capable of one and not the other."_

When I snarled at him, he'd shrugged his big shoulders. _ "Maybe if you find out that she has gone on and that she is happy, it'll bring closure for you. If you find that she isn't, then you can humble yourself and beg forgiveness. Either way, you'll never know until you try." _

The day we'd left the hospital, he'd pulled me to the side and announced, "I'm not giving you an option now. You are going to talk with Bella and put it all out there for her, and if I hear of you with another woman during that time, I'm going to personally break your bones to little pieces. If you lose, you can go back to your whoring ways, and I'll never say another word." He'd meant it too.

Little did he know, it was over either way, as the countless bodies just weren't working anymore. If I was doing an honest assessment, they hadn't in a long time. The latest in my rounds of women…the one Carlie had seen me with in the newspaper…I'd barely been able to stand the feel of her, and for the first time her face had faded through Bella's. Feeling disgust hadn't been so good for the situation, and I'd plead being tired, but she'd narrowed her eyes at me in annoyance. I didn't think I'd fooled her so much.

I was on a precipice, and needed to make things right with Bella. And if that meant that in the end, we weren't together, I needed to seriously take the time to deal with the repercussions of my behavior, not numb them. The women had only been a filler after I'd given up the drugs. Having admitted as much to my mother, ever the "fixer," she'd handed me a card for a private therapist.

"_Baby, I think you need to talk with someone, even if we are given the incredible gift of Bella back. It helped you with the situation with Alice, it'll help now."_

I thought to the nightmares and contested the truth of her statement.

The dinging of the door brought me back from my thoughts, and I glanced up to see Carlie observing my face intently. There was no reason to lie.

"I'm scared shitless," I admitted, and then blushed realizing what I'd said.

"Me to," she giggled. "And don't worry; I would have used the same word, even if Mama would have threatened me afterward."

I took a deep breath and released it at her magnanimous behavior. Pushing away from the wall I'd been leaning against, I held my hand out indicating for her to step out and then led her to the door in the hallway. After unlocking it, I held the door open for her to step in.

I could see the curiosity in her face as she looked around. A bank of windows looked out over Puget Sound, a grouping of dark leather couches had been positioned in the sunken living room to take advantage of the view and plasma TV to the side with an entertainment center below it. All the furniture was ultra modern, clean lines, and as I looked at it thinking of her perspective…devoid of much personality. The only thing that saved it from looking sterile was the colorful artwork that my mom had plastered all around the walls. An empty raised space stood near the window. Esme had always intended to put a baby grand there, but I hadn't allowed her.

The kitchen sat to the left of us. It was all modern and sleek as well, with all the requisite industrial stainless steel appliances. It was open to the main area, a long free-standing bar the only thing that separated it from living space. Carlie walked toward it, and I wondered if she liked to cook as she picked up the whimsical tea kettle that Alice had insisted on giving me. It was bright red and attracted your attention the minute you glanced over. Slowly, but surely, Alice had infiltrated my space with more and more items of red, and I had to admit that it did give the space warmth. I actually enjoyed my kitchen immensely and spent hours there. It was a clear throw back to my time with Bella.

"Let me show you your room, so that we can put your bag down," I suggested. "Alice bought the bed and had it delivered, but she suggested that you might go together to buy the decorations?"

She grinned slightly and then followed me down the hallway. The condo had three bedrooms, and a small half bath that stood at the end of the hallway for guests. My room was to the left and incorporated the entire side with a similar wall of windows overlooking the Sound. Her room was at the end of the hall and to the right, the windows giving partial views of the Sound; as well as, part of the city. I utilized the room before hers, with the door directly across from mine, as my study/office.

Proceeding down the hallway, I opened the door to her room and she stepped in. It looked really bare, and had in effect been an empty room a week ago. Now at least, it held a queen size bed, dresser, and night stand. Alice had at least made it up with plain white sheets and had arranged a blanket across the foot.

"I know it looks really…"

"No!" she stopped me. "It is great. I love the bed," she said, stepping over to run her hands across the blond wood. It was a sleigh bed, and the furniture was elegant yet feminine.

"Just look at all this wall space that needs filling," I teased.

"Seriously!" she squealed. "I was thinking that with Aunt Alice we'd have it filled fairly quickly," she said, pointing out what I'd told her about my sister. I intensely liked that she called her Aunt Alice.

"Well, she has become more restrained, since she has to set an example for Jasmine, but I do think she'll be able to help you personalize it. But remember, you still have a space at my mom and dad's as well. Alice said something to the effect of 'double the pleasure.'"

"I will attempt to restrain myself," Carlie replied solemnly with mock seriousness.

I placed the bag in front of her dresser and quickly showed her the bathroom. It was eerily similar to what she had at her home. Alice had again supplied adequate but boring white towels. It was ironic that I would notice the bland color scheme. The simplicity had never bothered me before. After looking out the window, she moved toward me expectantly and we exited to go down back down the hall. I opened my door letting her see into my bed room. It was down in shades of grey, the silk of the bed shimmering softly in the lighting. A plasma TV occupied one wall, a contemporary painting covered the other. I'd arrived home the day Carlie's furniture was delivered to find that Alice had my old bed carted off and replaced with a new piece, the sheets all gone. It was her own personal version of Emmett's mandate…destroying the old to force me to assess the new.

Carlie cocked her head as if she was attempting to figure out something, but finally turned back to me.

"My office is here," I said motioning toward the other door. When we entered that room, I heard the soft sigh that escaped her.

She quickly made her way toward the built in bookshelves and placed her hands on the shelves, staring at the pictures that were scattered throughout the books. "This is you…this room. I was looking for it, but the living room and your bedroom aren't. The kitchen…maybe…or at least it is you attempting to break through." Her voice carried to me even though she kept her back to me, moving slowly down the line as she took in what I had there.

I was shocked at her observant nature…that she'd pegged me so quickly.

There were a multitude of pictures of my family. Pictures of us laughing together in celebration…at birthdays and holidays. Pictures of Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett's weddings. Baby pictures of all the kids…professionally taken studio shots interspersed with my favorite candids. She was correct. This was my home away from home, where my personal memories were kept safe. Only my family had ever been allowed in here, never anyone I brought home. Which was why the other rooms had been bare...

I'd been observing her, but not really watching her. She raised her hand, and I was stunned to see her put the picture I'd asked her to hold on the space beside a family photo my mom had insisted on just this summer. My throat threatened to close from the emotions I felt, and I turned for a moment to compose myself.

"Would you like to order something in to eat?" I asked, and against my best effort my voice sound hoarse.

"Do you have anything we can cook?" she said, pulling my attention away from the take out menus I'd retrieved from my desk.

"Yeah, I'm sure we can scrounge up something." I grinned at the enthusiasm in her face. "Let me change out of this suit and I'll meet you in the kitchen."

"'kay."

I couldn't help but think as I followed her out that she'd gotten that particular phrase from Jacob.

I moved quickly through my bedroom to my closet. Hanging the suit pants and jacket up, I grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, throwing the dress shirt in the dry clean basket. I didn't even bother with a brush, running my fingers through the mess of my hair. Within a minute, I made my way over the plush carpet to find her standing on the raised platform looking out over the Sound. When she turned, she grinned taking in my feet, obviously finding it amusing that I'd chosen to go bare footed.

"Why don't you have a piano here?" she asked quickly. I was assuming that she meant the exact spot.

"My mom wanted to purchase one…honestly, I'm not here enough. When I am, I'm generally working." I conveniently let off the other reason. "There is one at mom's and dad's house." One I hadn't touch in a long time.

"This is the perfect place for a baby grand. I can imagine watching the fog roll across the Sound and play Wagner, or on a bright day…"

"…Brahms," I suggested and at the same time determined that if she came back here she would mostly certainly find a baby grand waiting her agile fingertips.

Her eyes lit in glee. "Yes, exactly."

"I have their music in the entertainment system, if you ever want to listen. I have quite a few movies there as well. Emmett and Jasper have kept it pretty well stocked. Don't hesitate to look through any of the rooms to find what you need…this is your place too now…I hope," I added as an afterthought, realizing how presumptuous I'd sounded.

"Does that go for the refrigerator?"

"Yeah." Her positive attitude was infectious. Bella had done such a good job…

"Good, 'cause I'm starving. Let's see what you have."

We threw together some rice pilaf, a large salad, and I carefully reheated several salmon steaks I'd bought from Palisade. The chef and I were on a first name basis after I'd raved about his expertise with fish. I'd made the stop by the restaurant just the evening before wanting to have something on hand if Carlie did visit. Cleanup was fairly quick, and I knew that I'd postponed as long as I could. I wanted a drink so badly to calm my nerves, but at the same time, I didn't think I actually deserved it.

"Let's sit in the living room," I suggested. I wanted to smile at the way she curled into the couch cushions. Visions of Bella doing the same thing ran through my mind, although, my memories of Bella always included a mischievous look in her eyes. Carlie looked serious; as if she knew what she was going to hear wouldn't be pleasant. It wasn't going to be…she was right.

"Carlie, I don't really know how to go about this, so I am just going to 'rip the band-aid off'," I said and looked to her for acknowledgement. She nodded softly.

"When I met your mother, we had just moved from Seattle. We, my family and I, were attempting to leave behind a bad situation. I didn't tell your mother everything. At first, I was leery to trust anyone, but then I was so in love with her, that it just didn't matter. We were left with significant scars. I don't think any of us really realized just how deep they ran…" Shifting to sit sideways on the couch to face her, I crooked one of my legs under me. "It is a long and complicated story, but I'll condense it to say that a young man took an inordinate interest in my sister Alice. She spurned his advances, but he insisted that he was in love with her. We were later to find out that he stalked her, watched her every move, and planned accordingly."

I stopped for a minute attempting to make what came next appropriate for a fourteen year old girl. When I looked to her, she'd moved just a little closer, almost as if in support…sensing something bad had occurred.

"Alice gave me permission to share this, because she is horrified at the way she treated your mother. But, I hope that you might understand…" I cleared my throat "…the boy belonged to one of Seattle's society families. They'd been here since the beginning of time…" She chuckled at my sarcasm.

"I thought…I thought he was my friend. I'd spent a lot of time with him and his circle of associates, brought him to my home, and introduced him to my family…and Alice. We were friends, or at least that was what I called it, for years. He raped her, Carlie. He followed her home one evening, and we weren't there. He'd convinced himself that it was all about love and their 'eternal bond.' It was a fiasco…the investigation and following aftermath. His parents attempted to blame Alice, but within just a few days, a maid that worked in the family's home told the police that she'd heard him laughing about it with friends. When the boy realized the hole he'd dug, he attempted to commit suicide. It was a huge mess, and the family's reputation took quite a hit when it was discovered that they'd covered up a similar incident with another girl. We could care less, because Alice was our focus. He'd been brutal in his actions and words, and left her to die after mutilating her. We didn't know if she would even survive the attack, and she had to remain in the hospital for weeks before she was released to come home."

I looked up to see huge tears in her eyes. Afraid I'd horrified her, I apologized. "I'm sorry, the story…"

"…is horrific, but I've heard more detail from Aunt Leah about cases. I know you are glossing over things," she murmured softly.

I chuckled with no humor. "I'm sure you have." I knew I needed to keep moving though. "It was all my fault. I'd led the evil into our home, exposed my family by believing his lies. Mom wanted to leave as soon as we could and start over somewhere, but, once Alice was released from the hospital, she refused to leave. Because of that, we found out more than we wanted to. It would seem that belonging to one of Seattle's finest doesn't mean you are immune to wasteful spending. Soon, it came out that the family was broke and in fact that mother had encouraged her son to pursue Alice in hopes of salvaging their position in society. We were 'new money'…something looked down on, but at least it was money; and therefore, we were desirable to them. We only found this out because the mother didn't stop with Alice.

When her son went to jail, she decided to destroy us. She blackmailed a nurse at the hospital…a woman she had dirt on…to pursue my father. That, in itself, is another long story, but the woman claimed that my father had accosted her at the hospital. There was video. It had of course been doctored. She'd hired a man who looked a good deal like my father to "play out a fantasy." The man never knew what he'd been paid to do, and I for one am grateful that he was brave enough to come forward when the video was 'leaked' to the press."

I still teared up remembering the utter desolation of my father's face in my memory. His reputation had been shattered, and even though everything was revealed and he and my mom had come out on the other side looking like angels because of their dedication and belief in on another, he'd been unwilling for my mother and us to live under the scrutiny.

"We left Seattle not long afterward, to live in Forks."

"Okay," she said, not really understanding how this related to her.

"When we arrived in Forks, we weren't the most trusting individuals. Your mother…" I couldn't control the tremor in my voice "…she was the only one who didn't treat me like a piece of meat." I had to take deep breaths in order to calm the queasiness.

"I bet she thought you were handsome, though," she said in a soft voice. My eyes jerked to her, and I realized she was teasing me on purpose, having seen the desolation on my face.

I chuckled, despite what I was feeling. "Maybe…she blushed enough. I was in love with her long before she even considered me. She was convinced that 'someone who looked like me wouldn't have anything to do with her.' Her quote, not mine."

Carlie grinned, and I realized that she knew it sounded just like her mother.

"That year was the best one of my life. Your mom became my parents' fourth child and Bella's friendship helped bring Alice out of the moroseness she'd become chained within. Alice became Alice again. We were young and in love, and I wasn't careful when we…" God, how did you tell your daughter that you had sex…

"…when you made love the first time."

"OH, God," I groaned, putting my face into my hands. How much more awkward could this be!

When I looked up, she was grinned devilishly. "Trust me…I've heard it referred to in much more derogatory terms. Dad…um…Jake…" she slipped and looked embarrassed for having been caught calling him dad.

It was time to clear up something with her.

"He has been and is your father, Carlie. I may not like it, but I can't be but grateful that he was there for you…" I was proud I'd gotten the words out without breaking down. It was agony to hear her call him that, but I was a grown man and aware of my fallacies. I didn't deserve the term. Jacob did.

"'kay," she said, but put her head down slightly. "Anyways, Dad's buddies from La Push…um…they aren't as eloquent as you. I've heard much more derogatory terms…don't worry."

"We didn't take the appropriate precautions, and obviously it was the best decision we ever didn't make," I said.

She gasped and looked to me confused.

"You are here, right? As bad as things became, I cannot imagine a more exquisite surprise from our stupidity."

She grinned broadly, somewhat appeased.

"Not long afterward, friends of ours visited from Seattle and they brought their daughter with them. Tanya." I looked to see if she knew the name and could tell she didn't. Bella had indeed kept everything from her. "Tanya is a year older than me and had always wanted to be my girlfriend, but I wasn't willing. She became enraged seeing me with your mother. What happened afterward isn't pretty. They stayed for a month, visiting, living in the guest house. My mother and hers were extremely close. Tanya began planting little seeds…comments here and there about your mother's character. Alice and I almost ripped her head off on many occasions. But then she became more and more blatant. One day, she came home from a trip into Forks to say that she'd seen Jacob at the store buying condoms. We didn't know about Leah…all we knew was that Jacob and Bella had always been extremely close and that it was rumored that your grandfather and Jacob's father always had hopes that Bella and Jacob would marry."

She snorted and I looked to her. "Are you serious!" she gasped out. "Mama and Daddy! That's like incest… UGH!" she shivered dramatically. It would have been adorable if it hadn't been such an appropriate reaction. A reaction I should have had. Instead I'd…

"Yes, I know that now…I didn't then."

"Seriously?" she asked and then a horrified look came over her face. "You thought that Mama and Daddy were a couple all along and that they'd been playing you…" she said in a horrified tone. "Wait, what would they have had to gain?" she asked. The fact that she was clueless was a testament to her, her mother, and all that was good in the world. A world that hadn't been mine.

"Carlie, first let me say, I knew that your mother was a virgin. I never doubted…"

Dear God, this was the most difficult conversation I'd ever had with anyone.

"You just thought that she and Daddy waited until afterward to start that part of their relationship and that she was playing you."

It sounded so ridiculous coming out of her mouth. So ridiculous now, but so believable then. Her face was white with the stress of her realization. "Again, why if she wanted my Dad would she continue to be with you?"

"Tanya convinced us, everyone, that in fact your mother was just another money hungry social climber. I thought I'd brought home the evil again…"

I'd hit her level of tolerance, and she blurred from the couch to stand in front of the window. I could see her hands clenching in rage or agony. I wasn't quite sure which one.

I let the silence stand, knowing that nothing I could say would make this right.

Finally she began to speak. "Okay, I can see how considering what you'd just been through it might have been a conclusion you'd been susceptible too. However, if you loved her as much as you say, how could you truly believe it of my Mom. Money…it means nothing to her…as long as we have enough to pay the bills, she is happy. She worked hard, when she first started writing, because she wanted to have enough for me to go to college and stuff. Once she had enough in savings for that, and for us to live comfortably, she could've cared less about it. She gives away more than she keeps."

"I know that now," I responded, my voice hoarse from the agony tearing through me. "I knew it then, as well, but I'd buried it deep within me. Tanya played on our fears, and when she brought me a picture of Jake holding Bella, it was all I could do to keep from howling in rage. Your dad's lips were kissing Bella's forehead, and there was such a look of love on their faces that it seemed obvious."

I rose to go stand beside her at the window. The Sound was angry tonight, and the choppy waves matched the turbulence in the room. I placed my hands against the plane of glass in front of me, allowing the cold to seep into them. I'd been cold then…it seemed appropriate that I would feel it now.

"Tanya and her family had stood beside us during all of the chaos of the rape, Alice's mutilation and recovery, and then my father's medical board hearings and final acquittal. We'd been friends for years. In fact, Carmen is the one who searched out the gossip about the boy's mother, and found out that they had lost everything from wasteful spending. I never gave your mother the opportunity to explain. I humiliated her in front of every child and adult at Forks High. I was a monster. There is no other explanation. I was young and stupid and arrogant. I didn't deserve her then, and I don't deserve her now. Although, if given the chance I would do anything to make her love me again. You need to know that."

She spun to face me and the look of astonishment that covered her face was hauntingly familiar to the look I'd seen on Bella's when I'd called her filthy names in public.

"You…you…would like to attempt to fall in love again," she stuttered out, clearly disbelieving what she'd just heard. She was mad, but I'd shocked her with my declaration.

HA! How priceless. Well as long as I was putting it all on the line…

"No, that isn't what I'm saying." I waited until she looked at me so that she could clearly see what I had to say. "Carlie, I never stopped loving your mother…never. Although, I did my best afterward to forget it. Like the coward I was then, I buried it with drugs and pretty much attempted to kill myself. My Mom and Dad took us away from Forks, back to Seattle where I continued with my deadly behaviors for several years until they pulled an intervention on me. I haven't touched drugs of any kind since then. I don't even like to take pain killers."

"I can only be grateful that my parents did the intervention quietly. For when I finally accepted the chaos of what I'd done to my life, I knew I at least wanted to pursue medicine. That could have been sticky with a reputation for drug abuse."

She nodded, but I knew she was in shock.

"Carlie, your mother was never anything but totally innocent. Deep within my soul, I knew that even then, but as I said, I buried it along with my rational self. As soon as I began to clean up, I knew I'd made the worst mistake of my life. But, it was too late. I hired an investigator to find your mother, but within just a few days, I let him go. I realized I had no right to torture your mother again." I paused. "I didn't know she was pregnant. I swear to God, I didn't. Had I known…"

"Had you known what?" she screamed, blasting me for my behaviors and weaknesses. "If you didn't love my mother enough to fight for her…to listen to her when she most likely pleaded with you…" she stopped to get my acknowledgement of what her mother had done. When I nodded, she twisted back toward the window, a scowl on her face. "…what would you have cared for a child that you would have mostly likely thought was Jacob's?"

HUH! I'd never thought of that. It was a true testament to my belief in Bella…after I'd sobered up…that I'd realized that I never had believed that Jake and she were intimate.

"Carlie, believe it or not, but once I was clean, if I'd found out your mother had been pregnant and bore a child, I would have never suspected it to be anyone's but mine. Tanya manipulated a temporary fear, and I never gave myself the right to truly examine it."

She huffed at the inadequacy of my explanation. I didn't blame her, I still didn't understand how I'd been so cruel and naïve.

"I'd seen Alice go through so much with the rape and aftermath." I stopped for a moment as evil threatened to swamp me. Smears of bright red and black swirled before my eyes and screams of Alice's name reverberated in my head. If I wasn't having nightmares about Bella's pain contorted face, I had them of this…blood and death and pain. Forcing myself to focus through the vision, I continued. "I found Alice. She looked dead, and I couldn't get her to respond. I can still see the blood on my hands as I called 911 and begged for her to just keep breathing until the ambulance could get there."

I could still see the struggle she put up and the cuts on her hands where she'd tried to defend herself. She'd finally roused enough to crack her eyes open to look at me, and we'd continued to stare at each other as I counted the minutes down until help arrived, using my shirt to ineffectively stop the flow of blood from her stomach…not wanting to contemplate what came from between her legs. We'd been saying goodbye, just without words.

"What he did to her…it was unnatural, and I was the one to lead him to my family. Then there was the chaos of my father's ordeal, and the thought that I'd allowed myself to be manipulated again…it took over. It was irrational, I know, but it was my reaction. However, you need to know that I do not excuse my behavior. I have had fifteen years to live with the insanity of my insecurities…with the consequences of being a child instead of a man."

"I need some time alone," she said, visibly shaking.

"I understand."

Without another word, she turned and fled the room. I heard the door to her room shut just a second later.

Unbidden, tears began to stream down my face as I was once again hit with the consequences of my behavior. Stupid Edward, trusting the friendship of a monster. Stupid Edward not knowing better what to do to help Alice as her life drained out of her. Stupid Edward breaking the heart of the only woman he could love.

I'd fixed the first two. I trusted few outside of my immediate family, only allowing others to see or experience a small portion of who I was. I'd studied under the finest to never again be helpless in a medical emergency. The last…I may never be given the opportunity to fix. It would be an appropriate consequence of my actions.

_God, please just let me have another chance. I know I don't deserve it, but I promise that if you allow it, I'll do everything within my power. _

I stood at the window for hours watching the dusk turn to dark. If only sleep would come so easily to me. The night slowly passed, and I watched the sun begin to rise through the windows from the chair I'd sat in, never having found the ability to rest. When the door opened, I felt dread settle in the bit of my stomach, certain I would be returning her to her home.

The sound of her feet padding across the carpet alerted me to the fact she had come to stand beside me.

"Edward?" she asked softly, and I raised my eyes to her. "Didn't you sleep?"

I shook my head slightly cursing myself internally seeing the puffiness of her eyes. She hadn't slept well either, and she'd been crying I was certain.

"Why?" she asked.

"Couldn't, not knowing if this might be the last time I see you."

She shook her head. "Sorry, that's not what I meant. Why were you willing to believe the lies about my mom?"

I took a deep breath. "I told you; I brought the evil home! Me. I did that to my family. I pulled it in, nurtured it with a friendship, believed its lies. He raped Alice, hurt her, terrorized her…" I took a deep breath to calm myself and she placed her hand on my shoulder. Blowing out a shaky breath, and only marginally calmer, I continued. "Then his family went after my father. Two beautifully innocent individuals, ruined by my stupidity. I was naïve and my family paid for it. We'd known Tanya for years and never known her to be false. I was afraid that I'd done it again, in the rush of love. I wasn't a good judge of character…isn't this all just a fine example of that. The one I shouldn't have trusted, I did. The one I should have, I didn't." I plowed my hands through my hair. Then just gave up. How did you convince someone you were just plain stupid.

She took a deep breath and exhaled. "I'm not happy with what I learned last night, I won't lie. But you did at least give it to me straight, and you didn't attempt to make yourself look better. It is painful for me to think of what my Mom must have gone through. To know that she most likely begged you and your family to listen and you turned your back on her." I clenched my hands, seeing a flashback of Bella's face as she begged me with her eyes. "I can only imagine how scared she was. Her life turned even more tragic as she lost her sight and Grandpa Charlie. I can't help but think that if you and your family hadn't turned her away, that possibly none of that would have happened."

She was right. There was no denying it. I felt nauseous, knowing what was coming.

"However, I can also understand the pain your family must have gone through at what they did to you. I have to say, I can't imagine that Mama will ever feel comfortable around you or your family. But I also know that she wouldn't want me to lose out on the opportunity to get to know you and make my own decisions about what, if anything, you'll mean to me."

"Thank you," I said softly, vowing that another Swan woman would not find me lacking.

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><p><em><strong>So, I'm wondering what you think? Let me have it! I love the "What the heck" reviews as much as the "I love it" ones. <strong>_

_**Reviews will get a sneak peek into the next chapter and a brief view of Carlie's thoughts about what Edward has revealed.**_

_**I'm content1april on twitter. Come join me, I'm still attempting to learn what to do. **_

_**Please visit my friends at the following stories. I PROMISE you won't be disappointed.**_

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7352604/1/Cliche**In a place far, far away lived a beautiful…oh, forget it. Who are we really kidding here? This is Hell. This is high school. Welcome to Forks.

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2086771/TwiLoverSue**: Once Bitten and A Forbidden Love


	9. Velathri

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

To my peeps, Suzie55, LemonMartinis, and TwiloverSue. You guys have been my total inspiration to continue doing this thing. I must acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me keep it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherriola. You my dear are a gift!

The Canon Tour is still happening over on FF. Would love for you to go over and read the stories and vote for your favorites. There are some wonderful stories over that that really deserve your vote.

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/3041014/thecanontour

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><p>Okay, let me answer a few concerns and questions here:<p>

I need you to know that I have the outline for this story written out. I know where it is going, and some of you may hate me in the end, but I am clear on how this story will be completed.

We will begin to see more and more of the Cullens and their side of the story, in addition to Bella's – don't worry! Some of you hate hearing that – some of you love it.

This is NOT a Bella hears "sorry" and it is all over story. Not gonna happen.

Yes, Carlie is a little mature for her age.

Thanks to all of you who have supported me during the last weeks, including in particular this week when some negative comments were made. People have the right to hate any story they read, and unfortunately, some will leave a flaming remark. Honestly, I don't get the need in this fandom to tear people down. If you don't like a story…move along. Isn't this supposed to be for fun?

Lastly, NO, I'm not 12 years old. Don't I wish… Well maybe not. I would like to be 21 again, have the body I did then, my mind now, and a ticket to wherever Rob is staying… HA!

Yes, both sides are gonna hate this chapter – and I am posting before I get all the review replies done because this is Halloween weekend. I have to go Trick or Treating with my kids (twice). Then I have the all important job of taste testing the stash…somebody has to do it. So, I'm still sending Carlie's POV – if you haven't gotten it – it is coming! I promise by end of the weekend!

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><p>Bella POV<p>

The door was stuck, and honestly, I wanted to kick it in frustration, but I knew that wouldn't go over well for me. Seriously, I was going to have to get Jake to fix the damn thing. Finally, I jiggled the lock enough that it popped open. The cool air of the house hit me, and I sighed out in pleasure. The weekend on the Sound had been uncharacteristically hot, and I was happy to be home. Reaching down, I felt for the handle on my bag and pulling it over my shoulder stepped into my sanctuary.

Hearing a noise at the back of the house, I called out, "Carlie!"

The noise from her room stopped, and I grinned when I heard her bedroom door open, knowing she would come running for me. Setting the keys down on the side table, I lowered my bag to the floor and smiled when I heard the footstep in front of me.

I was so excited to be home with her that I started babbling. "I am so glad to be home, I can't tell you how much. Did you have fun? God, I missed you, give me a hug." It all came out in a garbled mess.

I heard a gasp and then…

"Bella," the velvet voice answered me, and I froze.

NO! I'd intentionally arrived much later than she said they'd be returning to the house. It hit me then, the essence of the boy I'd loved, washing over me, making me dizzy. I took a few steps back. From the heat radiating around me, I could tell he followed me.

"What are you doing?" I hissed out.

"Making sure you don't get away from me this time. Bella, I don't want to force myself on you, but I've done everything reasonable to speak with you. Carlie went to get a hammer from Jacob's garage. She wanted me to put up a shelf in her room for some things she brought from my house. Please, just a few minutes of your time, I desperately need to speak with you."

I reached behind me to feel for the doorknob, and the next thing I knew, I heard the sound of his hands slapping against the wood beside me. He'd captured me in between his arms. "Bella, don't." The sound was just short of a growl, but somehow it came off in a pleading manner as well.

My heart pounded as I realized he was leaning over me…too close…too close. The hair on my arms stood up as the adrenalin raced through me. Squaring off my shoulders, I raised my face toward the sound of his voice.

"We have nothing to talk about…" the squeak rushed out of me and was silenced when his lips captured mine.

Everything stood still as emotions, desires, and needs that had been banked for fifteen years rushed through me. His lips were soft, yet demanding, just as I remembered. He leaned in even further to brush his tongue against me, seeking permission to enter. NO! I shouted, but my traitorous body didn't listen. I heard his moan as I opened to him, and we tasted each other for the first time in what seemed forever. Heat…passion…lust…it all combined into the feel of the man tasting me, the man making love to my mouth. Pleasure burst through me as he pulled me to him and our bodies touched. He was as aroused as me. I could feel the rigid length of his erection against my stomach…and again my body betrayed my mind and feelings. When he felt me shiver in delight against him, he laced his hands under my arms and lifted me so that I straddled the leg he insinuated between mine. He then pinned me against the wood, his leg supporting the weight of my body, his hands around my waist. Pulling me forward, he dragged my aching center across him and captured the cry of my pleasure in his mouth.

"Dear God…it is just as I remembered," he muttered against the side of my mouth frantically, and then captured my lips again before I could speak.

_Stop__him__now,__Bella__…__before__it__is__too__late._ _You__don__'__t__want__this!_ My sanity whispered. _Shut__up!_ The rest of me shouted. _Want__him__…_my body cried and then clenched in reaction to the thought of feeling him buried within me, moving gently and then harshly as the momentum between us built.

Damn man…he knew what I was thinking and pressed his leg up against me at that precise moment. I couldn't help it; I ground against him seeking relief as he moved his hands from my waist to cup the heavy weight of my breasts. One flick of his thumb against my nipples, and I growled into his mouth, finally falling prey to my desires and moving my hands up his shoulders to spread my fingers through the hair I wanted to pull in passion.

He grunted at the tug of my fingers. "Love, let go. Cum for me…I'll be here to catch you," he said gently as his fingers pinched the rock hard nipples he'd been palming. Rocking his leg against me, he captured my mouth as I screamed. Waves of intense pleasure shot out from in between my legs, rendering me senseless as they overtook me wringing out further pleas and whimpers. Just as I thought I could focus, he moved softly again, coaching another softer round of pleasure from me.

"Bella, I love you, I always have…" his hoarse voice called out, pulling me back from the orgasm induced stupor.

"NO!" I screamed at him, realizing just what had happened. "NO!" My arms lashed out attempting to knock him away from me, only to meet empty air. I tore up from the covers panting in exertion.

A dream…only a dream. Nightmare really.

As my body throbbed from the final waves of my orgasm, I cringed, hoping that the privacy my suite in Aro and Cia's house gave me would keep my screams from having alerted anyone. I put my hands to my eyes to rub away the images I'd envisioned and then swore out in frustration as my arm brushed across my nipples as I did it. They were sensitive, and the feel of my arm had been too much like the feel of his hands in my fantasy.

Damn him…and everything about him. I couldn't find refuge. Great waves of pain took over, and I fell back into the pillows, putting one over my mouth so that I could scream in rage. Allowing myself to give into the emotions, I spent a few minutes curled up in my bed imagining retribution. What was to have been a restful nap instead turned into a painful replay of my past. The anxiety I felt about possibly running into him as he returned Carlie made me realize I wasn't as immune as I'd thought.

A soft knock brought my head up. "Come in." Of course Cia had heard me.

"I brought you a washcloth and cool compress." The bed moved as she sat down, and then she pressed the cloth into my hand. She followed it with a cool eye pack.

"Lay back down, and put that over your eyes for a few minutes. Our dinner guests will be arriving soon, and I expect you to look beautiful as always." She sounded so sweet, her English enhanced with only the slightest trace of an Italian accent.

Following her orders, I waited knowing she wouldn't be able to refrain from speaking her mind. I took the pack and placed it over my throbbing, sightless eyes.

"I guess I know now why you have avoided all my wonderful nephews." And there it was…

I chuckled even though it sounded mirthless. "Cia, there isn't anything left between Carlie's father and me. But you are right, he is the reason I can't trust myself with anyone else. I was left broken and damaged afterward. If I hadn't of had Carlie, I have no doubt that I wouldn't have survived."

She gasped at my words.

"You can't mean…"

"I do."

She stopped speaking, but I felt her grab my hand and clutch it to her chest.

"Those were dark days for me, Cia. I'd just lost everything. The only thing I had to hold onto was that bump that grew daily." I stopped and took a deep breath. "I was already a mess in regards to relationships, and I certainly wasn't going to trust any man other than Jacob to be around her. He is her father in all the ways that count, and I didn't want to even risk introducing any other man into her life. No one will ever love her the way I do, or the way Jacob does. I couldn't handle a man who attempted to be nice, but couldn't give her his whole affections."

"Isabella, you do not know that. Any man would count himself lucky to have you and that precious child," she argued.

"I was a blind, unwed, teenage mother who'd dropped out of school. Until Charlie's money came in, I was broke and living off Medicaid and food stamps. I am quite aware I wasn't a catch. When that lawyer contacted me about Charlie's insurance policy, it was literally a lifeline to a sinking ship." I argued pointing out the obvious reality.

"Isabella," she said then stopped. I could tell she was measuring her words, attempting to say it "right." "It is a testament to your character that you did not fall underneath the pressure. Even then, I am certain that who you were was obvious to everyone. However, I will concede the point that perhaps early on a relationship was not wise. That excuse stopped way before Aro and I met you. You'd turned everything around," she accused.

I laughed out at the affronted tone of her voice. She was determined to see me happy, and happy to Sulpicia equated to married with children. "I know. But by then, I was more interested in my career than finding someone. Carlie was busy with music, and I wanted to be there for her because I was guilty when I began to travel promoting the books. My life became a venture in becoming the person I'd always wanted to be, not finding someone. Contrary to what you all think, I am whole without a man. Yes, it has been nice to date, go out, enjoy male company, but honestly, very few of them have intrigued me. I am picky, I know that, but I have some standards that are non-negotiable."

"You do not have the excuse of no time now, she is almost a woman grown." I noticed she didn't question my standards.

"Not quite, and I want to enjoy the time I have left with her. She and Seth will get married and go away to college. Jake thinks he will be able to get them to wait, but I know my daughter's heart. She is barely able to wait for high school to finish before she marries Seth…and honestly, I am pleased with that. I know Seth's heart as well as I know her own."

"You intend to wait four more years before you give yourself the possibility to love?" Her voice had begun to rise in her frustration.

"I didn't say that…"

She latched onto the hesitancy in my voice and interrupted me. "Good. Felix will be here, but I am afraid that you already know that he isn't the one for you…so I am going to put my hope in Demetri. I want you in my family, Isabella. Marcus' son is a fine man and handsome as well. He is as slippery as you are about settling down and starting a family. You are of the same age and intelligence. He loves books almost as much as you."

"Cia!" I shouted to get her attention. "Stop! Please," I chuckled. "No matchmaking, I beg of you."

She huffed out a breath of air. "Fine," she spat out inelegantly. "I won't do anything to push you on someone, but I won't give up on enhancing your beauty and letting nature follow its course. It's time to get dressed. I'll lay out your gown and shoes, and I'll be back in a little while to help you with your hair and makeup." I heard her move across the room and the unmistakable sound of the closet doors opening.

"I think the emerald green one will do well tonight," she murmured, and I heard the sound of silk being smoothed. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

I was betting she already had her hair elegantly coiffed and her makeup done. She was probably only going to change into her formal attire. The Velathri's believed in pomp and circumstance and insisted that we dress for their dinners. At first it drove me crazy, but now I actually enjoyed the ambiance. Realizing I'd wasted time reminiscing, I jumped up and maneuvered my way into the bathroom to quickly shower. I ran my hand along the tiles in tactile appreciation before scrubbing quickly. Within minutes, I was toweled dry and putting on a matched set of underwear. Carlie had gone all out packing matching silk sets. I knew she wanted Felix and me to "hook up," so it didn't surprise me. Reaching to the closet door, I felt the silk, but when I examined the dress with my hands I wanted to strangle Cia. The neckline was probably cut to my bellybutton.

_What__the__hell!_ I rationalized and reached around to unbuckle the bra. Leah would say I was utilizing my "assets." No time like the present to let loose a little.

Slipping on the dress, I arranged the material as best as I could and sat on the bed to pull on my shoes. Again Cia had decided to torture me…heels. I'd no more than had them buckled before the slight knock came again. This time she didn't wait, barging right in.

"Beautiful," she murmured. "If I had your natural beauty, I would leave Aro for a younger man."

I laughed knowing that was one of the biggest lies I'd ever heard. They were like soul mates or something. It wouldn't be surprising to find out that they were old souls that just continued to get reincarnated into young bodies together. I'd never seen another more perfect relationship…well other than…I stopped not wanting to think about it, but then I forced myself to say it, unable to continue ignoring them completely…Carlisle and Esme.

"I doubt that. You love that man too much to ever deny him anything."

"That is the sad truth, unfortunately." She laughed at my observation. "I think you just need to pull your hair back simply, and just a little makeup to highlight everything." She patted my hand as I sat at the dressing table she always forced me down before.

Twenty minutes later, after twisting my hair away from my face and applying some light foundation, eye shadow, blush, and mascara, she declared me done. "Lipstick," she said handing me the tube.

I applied it by feel as she "tutted" around me. When the next knock came at the door, she answered for me. "Come in…" which she followed by "…well, hello handsome."

"Dear, there is no need to compliment me. You already totally own me. Flattery will garner you nothing further," Aro responded to her.

I grinned when I heard him kiss her cheek just behind me. She giggled like a young girl, and I decided to do a little teasing of my own. "I may be blind, but I can still hear you."

"Bah…she is uptight, Isabella. I'd be lucky to sneak a kiss off her around you."

I heard the sound of hinges opening. "Cia, I brought your necklace, and I took the liberty of choosing one for Isabella."

Cia gasped and then I heard her words. "It is perfect."

The next thing I knew, she had my hand in hers and was placing a heavy pendant on a fine chain in it.

"It is perfect. It was Aro's mother's, and is a teardrop shaped emerald. It will go beautifully with your gown."

"Aro?" I asked holding it up and then followed his directions to pull my hair around in order that he may secure the precious jewel and chain around my neck.

"It is yours to keep, Isabella. A gift from me to you."

"No! I…"

Placing his hands on my shoulders, I knew he was looking at me in the mirror and my words halted.

"Allow me this pleasure. Cia and I have never had children, and if I desire to spoil you as my stand-in daughter, so be it."

He refused to hear any differently and reached down to acquire my hand. Cia and I walked with him toward the main part of the house. The family always utilized he and Cia's home as the main gathering place, whether that home was here on the Sound or in Seattle. As the oldest, he was unconsciously recognized as the leader. We could hear the voices raised in "discussion" long before we made it to the door. When Aro opened the doors in front of us that led out onto their patio, you could have heard the proverbial "pin drop."

"ISABELLA!" several voices shouted out, causing rounds of rapid fire Italian to begin. I'd been taking lessons, as Aro had requested, but I was nowhere near capable of keeping up with them. I caught several claims of "she is mine" though.

"As the most handsome one of the group, I claim this Belle for myself," Marcus exclaimed to my side, and I snickered when he removed Aro's arms from me and swept him into his embrace. "Didyme left me my dear, so I can now have my wicked way with you," he said seductively.

"She's gone to pick up your son, hasn't she?" I observed.

"Yes, but don't blow my cover, Bella. It sounds so much better the way I tell it, and I am attempting to earn the sympathy vote," he said softly. "They won't be back until much later, so would you do me the honor?" he begged.

"Certainly."

The dinner was as lively as any of the others I'd spent with this large family. Cia had in the past described the setting for me. A large tiled patio was circled by their collective houses, a pool off to the side of the outdoor eating area. I could smell the citronella from the candles and heard the crackling of the outdoor fireplace. The houses didn't sit far off the waterline, and I could smell the brine in the air that warmly flowed around us.

Caius twins Jane and Alec were in attendance, as well as Afton, and we learned that Alec's family was soon to grow by another. Chelsea and he were expecting their third child early spring. Caius and Dora already worshiped the ground young Michael and Laurent walked on. Alec quickly told the group he wanted a girl this time, which then brought the discussion around to Jane. Poor girl. They harassed her as much as me for being single. She'd pursued a career first, and although I knew Caius was extremely proud of her, he was determined to be a grandfather from her soon. I'd spent a lot of time with Jane, being the other single girl within the group, and I suspected that she hid a lot from the family. I would bet her job with the FBI was more than just of a typical agent. Getting her to settle down to a husband would take a very strong man to do it. Suddenly a visual of Felix rushed through my mind and the rightness of it settled within me. With the thought, the anxiety I'd felt about speaking with him disappeared, and I was suddenly grateful that nothing had ever occurred between us other than a few kisses.

"You are smiling like the Cheshire cat," Marcus noted from beside me. "Care to share?"

I leaned toward him and placing my hand on his shoulder guided myself in to whisper to him. "I was just thinking that Felix might be the perfect person to introduce to Jane. They've never met, right?"

"No," his startled voice carried back softly. "Hm…I do believe you may be right with that proposition. Isabella, you are destined to be a Velathri wife…look at you…already meddling and matchmaking."

I burst out in laughter and could feel the puffs of breath stirring his long hair. Aro attempted to ascertain what had been so funny, but Marcus managed him. "Isabella and I are flirting, mind your business old man."

That started a feisty debate. Aro was the oldest, with Marcus being next and Caius the baby by more than ten years. Aro and Marcus teased Caius about being the milkman's child. While Aro and Marcus both had the traditional Italian look with inky black hair and eyes, Caius had hair so blond it almost looked white. Cia had told me that it was like looking at polar opposites. In a way they were. Aro was serious and business minded. He did nothing that didn't in the end garner him something. Caius was as brilliant, but carefree. He was as likely to take the day off if he had no work, than to come into the office with nothing to do but "twiddle his thumbs." It drove Aro crazy. Marcus was a fine mix of the two, but he was so in love with his wife that he let them have their way in regards to business transactions. Caius was known to throw about that Demetri had to be someone else's and Marcus impotent. "As much time as you and Mae spent and still spend in your bedroom, you should have sired a dozen children by now."

The time they spent as a family was in direct contrast to the public image. The Velathri brothers were feared, and I suspected for good reasons. I wasn't naïve. I suspected all kinds of seedy business with this family.

"Here, Bella. Try this wine out that Aro bought and let me know what you think. We have the opportunity to buy the winery, and I want an unbiased opinion," Cauis said from behind me, placing a glass in my hand. He leaned in to speak softly to me, "Tell him it is good, because I plan to retire and manage the winery if we get it."

"Leave her alone and go back to Dora, Cauis. She's my date tonight!" Marcus hissed at him, bringing a round of chuckles from his younger sibling.

The wine was entirely too good, and because I was with friends, I imbibed a little too much. Hence, I was giggling hysterically as Aro walked me back to my suite later that evening. "I think you should buy that winery, Aro."

He chuckled. "I hope you still think that in the morning." He was uncharacteristically quiet for a moment as we walked down the hallway. Finally he drew in a breath. "Isabella, it did not escape my notice that you avoided my questions on the way here. Before the end of the weekend, I intend to know your history with the Cullens. It will help me to plan accordingly."

I growled attempting to make it sound threatening, but in reality it only came off as a ridiculous. He laughed softly in reaction.

"I must tell you, Carlisle and I have a history."

I jerked toward him at this little tidbit. It wasn't hard to do, because I was drunk. There was no reason to deny it. He caught my shoulders steadying me.

"I have always held him in the upmost respect. I fear that my perception will change after your revelation. However, I must know, and I will deal with him accordingly." His tone carried menace. "You and I still need to read the missive they submitted to me."

I had no desire to know what was contained in the letter. "Burn it for all I care," I growled and immediately proceeded to stumble only to be caught in his capable arms.

I started laughing, couldn't help it. "Ever my protector… Wanna watch me brush my teeth and wash my face so I don't fall down in the bathroom?" I teased.

"Actually, I believe I will," he growled out when I tripped again.

And so he did, until I threatened to undress in front of him, then he ran like a scalded cat. The last thing I remembered as I laid my check against the pillow was the thought that he'd never explained how he knew Carlisle.

Warmth surrounded me seeping into my bones, and I snuggled back against the muscular chest pressed against my back. A heavy arm was thrown across my waist, the hand cupping my breast gently. As my nipple pebbled under the gentle pressure, his breath moved across my neck stirring the hairs there seductively. Pleasure raced across my skin, and I squirmed against him in need. His erection pressed between the cheeks of my bottom, and I felt moisture leak from me as my body begged for him. Groaning, I wanted to turn and push myself against him, and so I did.

Wasn't that what dreams were for…

I moaned in appreciation when he turned us and pressed his body down onto mine; bringing my aching sex in direct line with his large cock. I gasped out at the contact, and he took the opportunity to connect our lips. My hands found my way to his hair, and I threaded my fingers through the short lengths.

Wait…short lengths…his lips seemed different…and the taste of his mouth too, spicier somehow.

Then it hit me. This wasn't a dream. I was in bed with someone.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!

It didn't escape my notice though that this someone was a damn good kisser and that his body fit mine perfectly, just like…

Reality hit him at the same time and he tore his lips away from mine. "What…"

Of course with my luck, the door to my room opened at that precise moment, and I heard Cia's gasp. "What are you doing in here?"

His muttered "FUCK" and my "SHIT" mixed together.

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><p><em><strong>So, I'm wondering what you think? Let me have it! I love the "What the heck" reviews as much as the "I love it" ones. <strong>_

_**Reviews will get a sneak peek into the next chapter and a brief view of Marcus' thoughts.**_

_**I'm content1april on twitter. Come join me, I'm still attempting to learn what to do. **_

_**Please visit my friends at the following stories. I PROMISE you won't be disappointed.**_

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7352604/1/Cliche**In a place far, far away lived a beautiful…oh, forget it. Who are we really kidding here? This is Hell. This is high school. Welcome to Forks.

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2086771/TwiLoverSue: Once Bitten and A Forbidden Love


	10. SOMP Outtakes Chapter 2 through 8

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.

I've had multiple requests for the Outtakes, so here they are. I won't post as they come out, but every so often will combine them for those that chose not to receive as a review reply.

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><p><strong>SOMP Outtakes<strong>

**Carlisle POV – Chapter 1**

"I don't care what he said; I'm here to see him!" a young voice argued vehemently.

The door swung open and hit the wall behind it so hard that it bounced back. Normally, I would have scolded the individual entering, but the words caught in my throat. The answer to my and Esme's prayers stormed through the door, her brown hair swirling. Edward stood frozen; we all were actually. Shaking my head to clear the cobwebs, I escorted Mrs. Brown out, shutting the door to keep the prying eyes away and turned to face my granddaughter.

God was good and gracious, there was no doubt. And, all I could hope was that Bella was near us and that my ultimate desire, that she would forgive us, might come to pass. Was it wrong that I also hoped she was single as well? For my son…my deep, dark, and brooding son would never be whole until she returned to him.

I looked up to see Esme gazing at the child as if she was a ghost. It was uncanny really how much she looked like her mother, but my son's eyes blazed from her face. She was a spitfire, and I was glad she was, for she'd just unknowingly thrown our life into chaos. I'd never been so glad to see destruction of our calm lives in all my life…

**Emmett POV – Chapter 2**

Bella, Oh God…

As I watched her and Edward's daughter glare at us, all I could think about was her mother. Where had she been? What had she done? It was all I could do not to grab the girl, throw her over my shoulder, and run with her…straight back to Bella. She looked healthy enough, and although I was not a guru of clothing, she appeared to be well taken care of.

I HADN'T DONE ENOUGH…

The thought echoed through my head taunting me with its simplicity. I hadn't been man enough to do more than I had, and for that, I was humiliated. Bella had been my little sister…the sister of my heart as much as Alice.

No matter what happened today, this shit would stop. If Bella would speak to me, I would make up to her for doing so little.

When Carlie made for the door, there was no other thought in my head than to stop her. I wanted to chuckle when she glared at me, but when she took me to the ground I wanted to weep, not in pain, but joy. Damn she was a gem…Bella on steroids…just what my family needed.

**Alice POV – after hospital scene – Chapter 3 & 4**

I waited as patiently as I could, but the nervous shaking of my leg was something I couldn't bring under control. Jazz would have teased me about the sign of my anxiety. Luckily he wasn't here to see it, or I would have faced his wrath. He was encouraging me to be patient, to wait until we could meet with Bella and her attorney, but I couldn't. This was too important…life changing.

I needed absolution.

As I waited, the knife scars along my stomach itched, attempting to draw me back into the darkness I'd once fought. I'd been so ashamed of them, but Jasper had changed it all. He adored me…and them as part of me. He told me that they and my eyes were the windows to my soul, road maps to the terror I'd survived. Pretty words, I'd once thought, coming from a tempting as sin man, but I'd finally determined over our years together that he meant them. Then as the long scar from delivering our last child joined them, I'd come to look at the horrific mess as almost the pictorial of the Alpha and Omega of my story…the beginning of everything that had torn our family apart, and the end of so many bright and beautiful things.

The first, being my ability to give Jasper anymore children. He was ecstatically happy with our two, and I was as well. But, just as the incident, that the scars represented, had wrecked destruction upon us initially, they had continued to tear my family apart over and over. I wanted to give Jasper more children, but the internal damage that had occurred along with the scarring had made that impossible. The doctor told Jasper so the day I'd almost died. Unwilling to make a decision for me, he'd done it himself. He'd walked into his doctor's office as soon as I was stable and signed up for the vasectomy that would insure I was never placed in danger again.

The second, being the destruction of the boy that had once been my bright and vivacious brother. That was the biggest loss in my opinion. I had a husband I loved beyond all measure, two beautiful children, a sister-in-law, two brothers, and a mother and father who loved me. There were only two people missing in my life. Edward and Bella…well, three… including Carlie. Edward had been missing since the day we both went crazy. He was still there sometimes in the man that haunted our houses during family occasions. Sometimes I would see him smile, and for just the barest moment it would be genuine. Generally it was around the babies, I realized, but it happened. I wanted him back, and I didn't want him to look at me and suffer. It hadn't been his fault, what had happened, but convincing him of that was nigh impossible.

Wasn't it poetic that I finally caved to the need to scratch just as the door opened, and I was pinned with a dark intense stare? How lady-like did I appear to her? Did it matter; she already thought the worst…

I'd barely sat down into the chair she pointed out when she barked out, "You have fifteen minutes."

"I promise not to overstay my welcome, Leah."

**Alice POV – second half**

She didn't even respond. There was no warmth or even a simple courteous response to help ease the tension. What had I expected?

"I…" my hands twisted in my lap, the scars blazing underneath the silk of my dress "…I need to know a few things and since you'd been kind enough to answer some of our questions, I wondered if you would help me." The words were said in a whoosh of breath, strangled and run together.

She stood immediately, and I thought that she would be dismissing me, but instead she went to stand beside the utilitarian window, looking out into the soft rain.

"Tell me why I should?" she asked surprising me, as if she was feeling me out.

"Honestly, you shouldn't," I admitted, my eyes focused on a picture she had on her desk. It was of Jacob, she, Seth, Samantha, Bella, and Carlie. They were at the beach and the whole group was laughing…but Bella…her eyes…were sad. The picture helped me refocus on why I was here. "There really is no reason for you to help, but I'm begging."

She turned and looked down at her watch. She was actually timing me…damnit.

"Sorry doesn't hack it with me, Alice Whitlock. Every criminal I've nailed has been sorry, most only because they got caught."

Yes, I could see that. "I'm not sorry, Leah." Her eyes blazed in rage at me before I could explain. "Wait…let me finish," I begged when she began striding to the door to throw me out. "Sorry isn't the right word. I'm devastated at what I did to Bella." This was so hard, because I didn't want Leah to think I was throwing out a pity party. "Some things…some things happened back then that Bella wasn't privy too. I never wanted her to know, but my weakness may have cost us everything." My eyes filled with tears, but I blinked furiously attempting not to cry in front of her.

Her face told me I was getting nowhere, and I started to panic.

The door flung open and Leah's eyes trained to the intruder. "Sir?"

"I'm sorry," a deep voice from my past spoke to her. "I didn't realize you were with a client."

I didn't want to turn around as the smoldering scars flamed and felt as if they were blistering me.

"No client. This is Alice Whitlock," Leah said neutrally, and I heard the man step to my side to introduce himself.

"I'm DA Holmes, please to meet you," he said, but then gasped. "Alice Cullen?" His eyes were probably as wide as mine. I could only nod as darkness threatened to overwhelm me. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Is it something to do with…"

"NO!" I spoke harshly, stopping his words. "Mrs. Black and I are mutual acquaintances."

"Your family?" he said softly, scanning my terrified face.

"They're fine, just fine." Something in my tone must have informed him that I didn't want to talk.

"Um…Leah, we have the briefing in five minutes," he said to her and turned back to stare at me.

"Mrs. Whitlock was just leaving," Leah informed him, looking down at the damn watch.

"I'll wait for you in the conference room then," he said, glancing down to see the wedding ring around my finger. He nodded as if the sight satisfied him.

When the door shut, I spun to Leah, gasping out. "Bella and I argued the last time I saw her. She fell…I don't to this day remember everything, but I might have pushed her…I believe I pushed her. She must have been pregnant then, was it what caused her blindness?" I strangled out knowing I had only a minute or two – only time for the hardest question.

She narrowed her eyes at me, but then blew out a deep breath. "No. She was almost eight months when she fell, big and uncoordinated." Contempt raced across her face. "Do you feel absolved now?"

Curious that she would choose that word considering I'd just thought it myself.

"No. My absolution will only come when Bella forgives me." I looked back to her to see her staring at me incredulously. "I needed to know so that I could plan accordingly. I have many amends to make to Bella Swan, but I needed to know if that was one of them. She wouldn't tell me, I suspect, and when the time hopefully comes that she allows me to speak with her…I wanted to be able to bath appropriately in my sins. For guilt isn't what I feel, because that is almost a given. What I am eaten up with is remorse, Leah. I regret that I allowed something to come between Bella and me and won't make that mistake again."

She looked to me in a quizzical manner, but I knew my time was up.

"Thank you," I said simply, not knowing what else to say and quickly made my way out the door.

Unable to speak when I saw Mr. Holmes standing in the doorway to the room beside Leah's; I gave him a jerky nod and all but ran out of the building. It was then I was faced with a horrible thought. Leah had access to my and my dad's files. As intuitive as she was, it would take little for her to uncover the evil that surrounded us.

**Jacob POV – Chapter 6**

I wanted to kill him, literally jerk his red hair out and then rip his head off his shoulders. What the hell was his game?

Bella never cried, and yet here she was sobbing in the backseat, her head resting against my wife. I heard her apologize to Leah, and then my rage knew no bounds. The last time she'd cried like this had been when I'd had to tell her about Charlie. I'd waited until after Carlie had been born, because honestly I'd been a wreck. Leah had had Seth by C-section, and although it had been stressful to stand beside her knowing the doctor was cutting her open, the delivery had gone smoothly, me holding Leah's hand and telling her how much I loved her as she breathed in the oxygen and stared deeply into my eyes.

With Bella, it had been very different. She'd sworn at me, called me all kinds of names, thrown stuff in my direction between pants, and generally scared the hell out of me. At one point, she'd even shrieked, "You'd better not be down there watching Jacob Black! That is a part of me you shouldn't see." Little did she know that I'd done everything I could to keep from seeing anything. But I would admit, I'd wanted to be there to catch the little bugger. I'd been hoping it was a girl. First because Leah and I had already had a boy, and secondly, because I couldn't stomach the damn name Bella had come up with for a boy…Edward Jacob Swan, EJ. What the fuck…

Carlie had owned me heart and soul from the moment the doctor handed me the squalling red-faced bundle of joy. I couldn't help but note that she'd come out screaming at me just like Bella had done most of our life. She already had adopted her mother's temperament when it came to dealing with me, but I could handle the screaming and strong arm tactics from Bella…I just couldn't handle her crying. It took me back to the emotions I'd felt when I'd taken the fully fed Carlie from her arms and then held her hand as I moved her fingers over Carlie's features, having to describe to her what her own child looked like. Call me selfish, but I'd wanted her to enjoy the first moments of her daughter's life before I destroyed her happiness. Then I explained why Charlie hadn't made it to the hospital.

Leah had been at home in La Push in a bed resting from Seth's delivery and my father an utter wreck at having lost his friend, so there hadn't been anyone there to help me with it. Leah was surrounded by our friends and family as they oohed and aahed over Seth. Although I'd been scolded for being irresponsible, and for becoming a dad at seventeen, at least our families had been nothing but supportive.

But Bella had no one but me and Leah. Her mother hadn't returned her calls once she realized that Bella had become a teenage pregnancy statistic. Hadn't spoken to her since. Edward Cullen and his family were second on my list of world's most horrible people. Renee Dwyer topped it, but only by a slight margin.

I'd been an obnoxious teenager, my most noteworthy accomplishment was having a best friend and wife I didn't deserve…was beneath. Within just a span of a couple of days, I'd been forced into the role of a man, responsible for my wife, son, daughter, and best friend. I was unworthy, had struggled to be enough, failed often, and had formed a stronger bond with my father as he and the elders help guide me through the chaos. In the end, my family had survived, prospered, and grown. I loved Leah with all my heart and soul, our bond deeper and stronger than I could ever imagine. My love for Bella only slightly foreshadowed by what I felt for my wife. I wanted her happiness, whatever it took, but I was wise enough to know that I didn't know all the depths of Bella's heart.

But back when she'd been faced with the loss of everything, I'd been unwilling to take Bella back to Forks to face the fallout. So, I'd taken her to the Rez and worked with a realtor to sell Charlie's house, having the guys to help me pack it up. With her permission to use the money we'd gotten from the house, we'd headed for Seattle and prayed for the best.

But before we'd been able to do that, I'd had to hold my best friend and have her sob against me in grief. I'd wanted to howl at the unfairness in life. She'd lost everything. Everything but the sweet child who'd I cradled in my arms, for surely I was the least of things to consider. She'd cried almost non-stop for three days, and I'd taken her home to LaPush while I accomplished getting everything settled. I'd left her and Leah in bed, the babies with them. I'd heard how she'd done nothing but attempt to be normal…and failed miserably. Charlie had been cremated, so we'd avoided a spectacle of a funeral.

I'd prayed to God every night to make me the man I needed to be. Later, I was to realize perhaps that hadn't been wise, because he'd answered by sending me challenges to refine me.

The first couple of weeks, we'd done as well as we could, living in a weekly hotels. Then, I'd finally found a basement for rent, and bargained with the elderly lady above us. She'd gawked at the troop I'd brought with me, and for several moments, I'd thought she'd turn us away. But, I'd won her over. It had taken a lot of free labor, blood sweat and tears, and luck. The babies had really been the key…that and her admiration for the blind mother who cradled two babies as Leah was accepted into and attended school and I found a job.

Mrs. Slagle tricked me into telling her our story, and like an idiot, I had. The next thing I knew, she'd gotten me a job at Home Depot that only worked in the evening and some weekends, and an application to University of Washington had been forced on me. We were later to find out she'd been a high school counselor, who'd worked with high risk youth. We were her retirement project.

"Jacob, there is no reason for you not to take advantage of the Native American scholarships like Leah. You're smart, even if you attempt to look like a big lug."

I still remember how she'd smacked me upside the head when I'd laughed at her. My "can't because I have to help with Bella" earned another one.

"My adoptive grandbabies will rest in my and Bella's capable hands."

Within months, a miracle had occurred. It would seem that Charlie's small savings account wasn't the only thing that he'd left to take care of Bella. The look on our faces when the lawyer had informed us of the million dollar life insurance policy was imprinted on my mind. Being the unselfish woman she was, Bella had immediately stated it was "our" money, and it had meant the world to us all. Even though we now had two houses that provided our needs, Leah and I had both obtained undergraduate and graduate/law degrees, and savings accounts that would allow the kids to go to school…we were still the three lost kids to Mrs. Slagle. She still saw her grandbabies almost weekly and stood in place for my and Bella's mothers.

But Bella…no matter what…no matter the shit we'd been handed…she'd never cried. Yet, one hour in his presence and she was a mess.

And Carlie…dear God what was I going to do. She was my baby, MY baby. I'd stayed up with her when she had colic, walked the floors with her when she teethed, taken care of she and Seth when they had all the normal rounds of childhood diseases. It had been me she'd first come to with questions about her father, about God, about why the man who'd killed her grandfather had been drinking and driving…why her father had died in the war and why God would have allowed it all to happen.

I'd been through hell for Carlie and Bella and would do it again without hesitation. I was a possessive, Alpha male, and sometimes stupidly, I thought to the incident of just a few days ago, protected my family. As I caught Leah's shocked eyes in the rear view mirror I swore – if he hurt Bella, I'd kill him, literally jerk his red hair out and then rip his head off his shoulders.

(dedicated to my own Ms. Slagle who took a lost kid and told her that the world was her's to grab…all I needed to do was focus through the chaos and know God would take care of the rest)

**Seth POV – Chapter 7**

As I left Aunt Bella and Carlie's house, I heard my dad in the garage and knew he was probably tinkering with something on the Jeep, so I went to join him. I figured he needed someone to growl at after the meeting. Aunt Bella hadn't look worse for wear so I was hoping that maybe things had gone well between us and the Cullens. Honestly, I didn't know what the fuss was all about. Carlie could handle them, and I knew where her loyalty lay, so if they went outside her boundaries, she'd shut them down quick enough. She was too much like her mother, Aunt Bella, who was one of the strongest women I knew. The Cullens were in for a shock if they thought either one of them would roll over for them.

Aunt Bella had been blind all my and Carlie's life, but never allowed it to be a hindrance. The only fight I'd ever been involved in was when a boy at school had commented about her. Carlie had overheard and come to me upset. I'd made sure to catch him off school grounds so that I didn't get suspended, and then I'd beaten some sense in him. Dad had, of course, found out because the guy was a team member of mine, and we'd both had to run extra laps for discipline. Tom and I had come out friends through the ordeal…his respect of my "skillz" forging the bond. I was the quiet one on the team and had for a long time been a source of much speculation. My one and only fight had shown them that I could take anyone down; and therefore, I'd been left alone afterward. I was grateful to all of Dad's friends who'd taught me to fight over the years. They'd had to do it enough…dealing with the racism that Native Americans often faced. My guess was that it was similar to what Grandpa and Aunt Bella dealt with.

People didn't understand why, with the money she'd earned from her books, Aunt Bella didn't just have the surgery to see if her eye sight could be restored. In a way, I understood, because I'd heard her talking to Grandpa about it. People saw her and my grandfather as disabled, and the way they said the word "disabled" made it sound like a curse. Neither Grandpa nor Aunt Bella saw their life as limited, they saw them as rich and fulfilling. Sure, I was certain that if given the chance, Grandpa would change the effects that Diabetes had ravaged on his body, but it wasn't in the cards for him.

I knew that Aunt Bella had also looked into the possibility of surgery. It was sorta a secret she and I shared. I'd inadvertently overheard a conversation she had with a doctor years ago…not long after she'd gotten her royalty from her first book. I'd been home sick and Aunt Bella had been taking care of me. Finally forcing myself up to go take a shower, her words had stopped me at the top of the stairs.

I only heard half of her conversation, but even at nine years of age, I'd known the person on the other end had given her bad news.

"_So not now, but maybe in the future when the techniques have been refined more? No…no, thank you…that is helpful to know. Yes, I'll keep your name and number. You know how to contact me as well. Thank you."_

I'd crept back to my room thinking that I'd gone undetected, but when Aunt Bella climbed the stairs, my lunch in hand, she'd busted my bubble.

"_Seth, what you heard, that's between us, right?"_

"_Sure, Aunt Bella."_

It had been our secret for this many years, and I wondered if she'd ever considered the surgery again, but I'd never asked…didn't feel I could or should.

"Son of a…" my dad cursed just as I stepped into the garage. He stopped short of the full statement, knowing my mom would ring his neck.

"Wanna hit on the bag instead of taking out your anger on the Jeep?" I proposed and chuckled when he stuck his head out to the side of the hood to spear me with a glare. Then, his eyes warmed seeing me. Moving toward the shelves, I pulled the gloves down.

My dad was a good man. Most kids my age looked up to sports heros or rock stars, desired to be like them, but not me. I worshiped the ground my parents and Aunt walked on. I wanted to be just like them. Aro had already informed me he would get me through law school, and he wasn't just promising a local university. Ivy twined all over the names he threw out, but I was quick to tell him what I wanted to do with the degree and after he sniffed his nose at my "self-sacrificing aspirations" he'd still pledged his help. I was marrying his granddaughter after all…at least in his mind.

"You want offense or defense," my dad asked. I knew he needed to punish something, so I choose to be the punching bag.

He grunted as his powerful blows to the punching bag threatened to knock me off my feet. Six and a half foot of pent up anger focused on the bag I attempted to hold still. In the end, sweat poured off the both of us before he was through. It was then he sat down on the bench against the wall and I followed.

"Seth, I know I don't tell you it often enough, but I couldn't have been blessed with a finer son. I love you," he said softly, and I nudged my shoulder to his.

"Same, Pops!" To which he snarled and I grinned.

"Impudent pup!" he mocked threatened, with no heat.

"Your impudent pup," I threw back to which he threw his arm across my shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yup!" He turned and grinned at me. "Just needed to let a little aggression out. Poor Jeep was taking it all before you came."

"Is it going to be okay?" I asked looking over to the victim. Dad was a good mechanic when he wasn't angry. Angry…made his work questionable.

He burst out laughing at my question. "Yeah, I was just checking the oil and the stick fell. I'll get Samantha out here with her little arms to retrieve it."

I grinned knowing that would "go over well with my mom." The last time Sam had crawled under the Jeep with dad; she'd reappeared two hours later extremely happy to have learned something, but covered in oil. Unfortunately, my dad hadn't paid attention to what she was wearing, and it had ruined one of her best outfits.

"Is Aunt Bella going to be okay?" I asked the question I was really wanting an answer to.

"She will be son, she will be."

He said the words as if they were a sacred oath, and I knew that if my dad had set forth to make sure Aunt Bella was okay…nothing short of God would make it any different.

**Aro POV – Chapter 8**

Closing off the phone, I reached over to the briefcase I'd carried and picked up the sealed missive that Carlisle had slid across the table to me. The envelope was addressed to Bella Swan in decidedly feminine script. As my brothers had often said, I was a nosy Mother Fucker and knowing that a probable key to this whole mystery resided in my hands, sealed against me, was killing me.

I'd just obtained Isabella's agreement to accompany us to the family retreat for the weekend, so I was determined I'd get her to open it then. She'd given me permission to negotiate on her behalf before we'd met, so when she left with Jacob and Leah, I'd taken the liberty to use that right.

As the driver turned onto the busy highway, smoothly transitioning into the traffic on our journey home, I pondered the fiasco before me.

There was a mystery to this whole event, something I hadn't puzzled together yet, and perhaps acquiescing a little to their demands would allow me to assess their reactions. For I knew my daughter, she would handle them. Her comment about being gone when Edward came to pick up Carlie was exactly what I'd expected. Isabella Swan may be the biological daughter of Charlie Swan…a man I'd learned was trustworthy and without compare…but she was the daughter of my heart. Over the past few years, I'd schooled her on how to handle controversial situations, and she'd absorbed the knowledge like a sponge. I'd seen her handle the men she'd "dated" with ease, keeping the knowledge a secret from Jacob and my granddaughter. She'd never found a man worthy of their consideration, so therefore, none of them had made it past the first round of dinners or movies.

But, I'd never seen her act the way she did around Edward "Anthony" Cullen.

Speaking of Edward, the man looked horrible. Even worse than when I'd first met the Cullens so many years before, and that was saying something. Then, he'd been shell-shocked, broken by the events that had torn his family apart, full of guilt for things beyond his control, but still he'd retained enough fire to withstand the legal chaos that had ensued. Personally, and with some degree of support, I'd thought he would come over the witness stand several times to murder the filth that glared at him.

However, his appearance before me this day had been the impetus for me to look into this situation in more depth, instead of just immediately writing the Cullens off. He looked like a wraith, a dead man walking.

Honestly, I hadn't kept up with Carlisle's son other than the newspaper articles that sometimes crossed my desk. Carlisle had been an entirely different story. I respected the man…immensely. He and his bride had been through hell, between the fiasco for which they'd retained my services, Alice's recovery, and Edward's path toward destruction in the years that followed. I'd already deduced that my Isabella had been the impetus for that self destructive behavior, because my precious grandchild had been conceived during the year they'd fled from Seattle. Edward had been a demon when they returned, and quite honestly, I'd thought that Carlisle and Esme would lose the boy during the years that followed. Even I'd breathed a sigh of relief the day I visited their house to be welcomed by an emaciated twenty one year old…clean for the first time in years.

I knew from Carlisle that Edward had gone on to medical school and to work selflessly heading up the charitable side of their corporation. I knew that he was a brilliant surgeon, like his father, but that he chose to spend his time working pro-bono in the emergency room. I knew that he loved his family immensely.

But…what I also knew that changed everything…my loyalty to the Cullens…and my respect for the Edward that had risen from the ashes of the past…was that he'd hurt my daughter, and possibly even threatened my granddaughter. And that…that changed everything for me. He'd just become the Velathri Enemy #1 until he proved that he could be a friend again.

Tapping the envelope against my lips, I knew the answer most likely lay within it, but I loved my daughter too much to break her trust. It would remain unopened until she gave me permission to plunder it's secrets.


	11. Love Surrendered

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.

To my peeps, Suzie55, LemonMartinis, and TwiloverSue. You guys have been my total inspiration to continue doing this thing, and a huge support this week as hell broke loose! I must acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me keep it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherriola. You my dear are a gift!

The Canon Tour is still happening over on FF. Would love for you to go over and read the stories and vote for your favorites. My two entries were removed due to a personal issue, but please go over and read from my FF profile if you like vamp stories (Modus Operandi and My Brother's Keeper), but there are some wonderful stories over on the contest that really deserve your vote.

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/3041014/thecanontour

Just a few odd mentions: Love Della291's comment – Sleepgate! TOOO good!

Montara - thank you so much for being my 1000th review! I am simply amazed that you all like this story enough to give me the benefit of your time!

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

"We are toast," the gruff voice spoke just after having sworn out and then begged Sulpicia to shut the door. "I'm guessing you are Isabella?"

This was beyond surreal. He hadn't moved his body off me, but honestly I couldn't tell if I was happy about that or not…it was a very nice body.

"I am," I forced out of my hoarse throat. It was then I noticed the pounding in my head. I'd had way too much wine last night.

"Shit! That is going to make this worse," he said.

"And you are?" I forced out, knowing he couldn't be a serial rapist or murderer or Sulpicia would have already taken him out. The woman was deadly in defense of her own.

"Damnit, sorry, I forgot…Demetri," he murmured.

Ah…the infamous Demetri. CRAP! I just realized what he meant by we were "toast."

"Oh my God!" I forced out.

"Exactly," he responded. "Aunt Cia is going to have the wedding planned before I get out of here."

"Speaking of…" I suggested. I didn't think he even realized that he was still crushing me into the mattress.

"OH HELL!" he barked out and moved quickly off me.

I heard the following silence. There was one thing about being blind for a period of time; you learned to interpret the clues around you.

"Get an eye full?" I asked, jerking the sheets over me that he'd inadvertently pulled with him.

"Yeah. And it is a pleasant eye full, I must say," he said in a satisfied voice, not even bothering to act as if he hadn't ogled me. He took a deep breath, and I knew the explanation was coming. "I am so sorry. Felix and I got here late last night and began drinking. He ran me out of the room snoring, and I stumbled in here, assuming that it would be empty. Uncle Aro and Aunt Cia don't normally entertain guests. I don't even remember falling into the bed."

He stopped for a moment, and I heard the sound of his jeans sliding over his legs.

"I should have realized that they would put you here…I was drunk, and I just wasn't thinking. This is beyond mortifying." There was a pause. "Nothing…"

I mentally checked all the important parts. "…happened, don't worry." There was a breath of relief from both of us. A large part of me kinda hated that fact, remembering what he'd felt like.

"We'll have to explain to them." I reasoned.

"Oh fuck…" he swore out "…Felix is going to kill me. Isabella, please excuse me. I'll profusely apologize to you later, but I need to get to Felix before Aunt Cia runs her mouth to anyone. His friendship is extremely important to me."

I could hear the stress in his voice. "Go!" I told him. I heard the door slam behind his hasty retreat.

What a way to wake up. I hadn't experienced waking up with a man in my bed since…

My head hurt.

What time was it anyway? Reaching over to find the alarm clock I always brought with me, I hit the button to activate the speech feature. "The time is 9 0 0 a.m.," the mechanical voice informed me.

I hadn't slept this late in years…of course I hadn't drank like that in years, either. Normally, Carlie woke me….

Shit! Carlie!

I lunged across the bed for my purse and pawed through it for my phone. Hitting the speed dial button, I chewed at my lips as it began to ring.

"Mama?" she answered softly.

"Carlie, baby, I'm so sorry. Did you call me last night?" I didn't give her the opportunity to answer. "Baby, I celebrated a little too much with Aro and Sulpicia." No need to tell her I'd also woke up with a strange man in my bed.

"You drank?" she said in an astonished voice. The tone was really more a mixture of surprise, awe, and curiosity.

"I know…I know…it was only a couple of glasses of wine, but that was all it took."

She giggled, but it was quietly done.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly, partially because of my concern, and partially because my head throbbed.

She paused for a moment, and I froze, worry crowding through my still fuzzy brain. I held off from jumping in though, but only by a margin. Carlie was a thinker; she needed time to sort through her words.

"Yeah. I'm just sad."

"Was your father mean to you?" I growled out, sitting up on the bed, ready to get dressed and go rescue her. The quick motion made my stomach queasy, and I knew it wasn't going to be pretty.

"No…no. Edward…" pain lanced through me at the name "…he was forthright and honest. That is why I'm sad. What a mess."

Boy was that an understatement. "It has nothing to do with you though, and you have to remember that. Baby, I believe they will be good to you. You don't have to feel like you are being disrespectful to me if you enjoy your time with them."

She remained quiet, and I caved. "Carlie, do you want me to get Aro to have his man to come get you?" I'd heard them talking outside the car. My hearing was exceptionally good.

"No…" she finally said. "I didn't mean to worry you, I was just thinking. Mama, he'll be getting out of the shower in a moment, so I'll need to go. We are getting a late start. I stayed up a good bit of the night thinking over what he told me, and I don't think he slept at all. It looked like he'd stayed up in the chair all night, just looking out over the Sound."

I could see him doing that. He too was a thinker, and he'd once told me that the solitude of the night was when he did his best thinking…something about not having the distraction of others talking around him.

"We are going to his family's house…or houses…or retreat. I'm not sure what you would call it. They've all built around each other."

Yeah, I could also see that. They were a tight knit group, just like the Velathri families.

"Okay, remember to a give them a chance. You can't allow how they feel about me to guide what occurs for you. You have an incredible…"

"Mama…" She interrupted, saying my name like she did when she needed to tell me something important.

"Yes."

I heard what sounded like a door opening in the background, and then I heard him speaking to her. The words were mumbled, but it was him. I'd know that voice anywhere.

"Never mind," she whispered to me, and then to him she answered, "I'm talking with Mama."

I panicked when I heard his voice moving closer to her. Then it went muffled, as if she'd put her hand over the receiving end of the phone. I held my breath, hoping that she hadn't handed him her cell. I wanted to at least say goodbye.

"We're leaving now. I'll call you tonight. Don't _enjoy_ your day like you did last night," she teased.

My only response was a groan, and she laughed lightly, enjoying the awkwardness of this whole thing way too much. At least my hangover had been good for distracting her from whatever had made her sad.

"I love you, Mama."

"I love you, too. Have a good time, okay?" I realized my tone was a little off.

I wasn't perfect, and there was a part of me that was scared that she would have too good of a time and might chose them over me. I was fully aware that I had abandonment issues. It had taken a hell of a lot of time and money for Dr. Green to label it that…I'd just known that whatever it was, it sucked.

"Mama, Edward wants to speak with you," she said simply. I could tell that she was attempting to give me an out.

If I hung up now, I'd look like a child in front of our child. At least at the meeting with the lawyers, I'd been able to control it. I'd known it was coming, the inevitability of having to speak with him to make arrangements. I couldn't speak, my throat closing up. Thank God my child was an angel, because silence reigned as I attempted to speak.

"She can't talk to you right now," Carlie told him, and I heard the silence on the other end.

Then a soft sigh. "Bella, I'll have Carlie home tomorrow no later than six."

Waves of memories crashed over me, hearing my name on his lips, and not all of them were pleasant. The silence between us spoke volumes as he waited for me to respond. My head throbbed, and suddenly as the queasiness I'd been experiencing exploded, I knew I was going to throw up. "Ok…" I forced out. I was incapable of anymore, so I quickly pressed the button to end the call.

_Mature, Bella. Very mature._ I thought as I fumbled my way into the bathroom and followed the edge of the countertop to the back of the toilet. I'd barely made it before I vomited.

It was there that Sulpicia found me.

"If I had my way, I would declare you already pregnant and have Aro and Marcus break out the shotguns. However, even I must admit that the night you spent with my nephew couldn't have had that effect so soon. The wine?" she said chuckling, holding my hair back away from my face.

"Yes," I lied. Well sort of…the wine didn't sit well when your stomach started churning, so I was going to allow it to take the blame.

"I lost count after your third glass." She ran her hand down my back soothing me.

When I finally finished the nasty process of emptying my stomach, she turned business like. "A good shower, some cool clothes, and one of Aro's special 'morning after' tonics and you'll be just fine."

"As long as the 'morning after tonic' contains absolutely no gin…" I left off.

Her rich laughter comforted me. Sulpicia loved me too much to punish me that way.

~SOMP~

"I leave you alone one night, and you allow my best friend to crawl in bed with you," Felix said softly, sitting down to my side.

My groan was the only answer he got.

"I'm just teasing, Demetri explained."

I'd been hiding out under the cover of a large umbrella, while the kids and adults splashed in the pool. It was peaceful with the sound of the waves breaking against the small beach just a short distance from us. I'd greedily swallowed Aro hangover remedy earlier in the morning. A light salad had been perfect for lunch, and with the ice cold waters that I'd been brought I was feeling much better.

"Felix, how can so few glasses of wine make a girl feel so bad?" I said slowly.

He laughed heartily. "I had more than a few beers, but I'm also like five times your size. I wasn't feeling much better this morning. I've told Aro he could sell that stuff and make millions."

"If he needed it, he might be tempted. I think he just likes having a secret weapon," I replied cracking a grin before I glanced in the direction he was sitting. It was now or never. "Felix, would you like to take a walk on the beach?"

"I would love to."

He reached down and grasped my hand, pulling me up gently. I shrugged on a diaphanous cover. Tucking my hand in the crook of his arm, he began leading me across the smooth tile of the patio area and down the stairs. I stopped only to remove my flip flops off, so that I could feel the warm sand squishing through my toes. It was a calming feel.

We hadn't been gone far when he said, "Isabella, how long have we known each other?"

"Hmm," I responded. "What, three years now, I think."

"For three years, I have played around with various schemes by which I might win the opportunity to capture your heart. I realized the other day that I already have…just not the part I always wanted. Somewhere along the line, you gave me your friendship, and I realized as I stitched your head together, that I wouldn't do anything to risk losing you."

I didn't know what to say. Of course, when I finally decided to give it a try, wasn't it my luck that the opportunity was no longer available…then the vision I'd had of Jane ran through my mind.

"Damn…I have the most rotten luck."

He stopped, and I could tell he'd turned toward me. "What do you mean?"

"I realized the other day that I wanted to approach you about the possibility of…us, but as always, you are the intelligent one of us." I snorted. "You would think that if we were meant to be more, it would have already happened."

"Are you kidding me!" he gasped out.

"No…no I'm not."

I felt his hands cup my face gently…worshipfully. The kiss he gave me was everything a woman could dream of…passionate, reverent, and needy. The man giving it was everything a woman could dream of…intelligent, handsome as sin, careful, and built like a god. Molding myself to him, I gave in to the feelings coursing through me as the passion warmed me.

When he ended the kiss, it took him only a few moments to take us back to reality, though.

"I would give anything to be able to be what you need, Isabella. But I can't. I know why now, and if you ever want me to destroy him…I will."

I was the one to gasp. "What do you mean?" I suspected Felix had as many dark ties as the Velathris. He could quite possibly make people vanish.

He chuckled harshly. "I won't even ask if you still love him. Actually, I think that question is totally irrelevant. What I would ask is, can you ever see yourself with him again? Can you trust him? I have no clue what happened, but some of the facts are fairly evident. You were like what, sixteen when you became pregnant? I know the story from Jacob. I know who Anthony Cullen is now. And I hate him. I hate that he left you, and that your life was so torn to pieces that it has taken you more than a decade to recover. I hate that you will not allow Jacques to do the surgery on your eyes. And I hate that he is the one that put the fear there. You hide behind the blindness, Isabella."

I gasped in outrage at him this time. How dare he?

"Don't get your anger up at me. I'm telling you what I see. It doesn't mean I care for you any less. Don't misunderstand me either…you are the bravest woman I know. You've not allowed your disability to hinder you in any manner, nor do you utilize it as a crutch…but you do hide behind it. I've never been able to figure out the why. I still don't understand?"

He left off, waiting for me to answer.

"Felix, is there anywhere to sit in the shade?" We'd been standing in the bright sun, and it was uncharacteristically hot for September. I kept expecting the ever present rain to give us a respite. The big floppy straw sun hat that Sulpicia always required me to wear shaded my face, but it gave little relief, and the stitches itched from where I'd started perspiring.

"I'm sorry," he replied, suddenly contrite. Taking my arm again, he led me across the sand, and then as soon as I felt wood beneath my toes, I realized he'd brought us back to the area underneath the Velathri's houses. There was a shaded gazebo there. He took my hand and placed it on the wooden bench so that I could orient myself.

"Isabella, I'm sorry."

"Sh… Don't be. How can I explain?" I thought for a moment how to really tell him. "Felix, I've been blind for a little over fourteen years. I'm comfortable with who I am. Yes, I will admit, I would love to see Carlie's face, but it isn't as if my life isn't full now. I can feel what she looks like. I am lucky enough to have had sight before my accident, so I can imagine things when she describes them. I've come to be comfortable in my skin. Do you know what I mean?"

He grunted, and then pulled my hand to his mouth to kiss my wrist. "Yes, I know. And that is part of your charm, that you are comfortable being 'Bella.' I didn't phrase my question to you well, and for that I apologize. I know you are happy like you are, but there is a part of me that wants you to be able to see again. The timing is right, Isabella. Jacques has been experimenting with some new techniques and the results are spectacular. For me? Please?"

He was such a con, using my feelings for him to manipulate me. "I won't pretend that I've avoided the discussion of the surgery. I guess I'm just afraid, Felix. If I have this surgery, and it doesn't work…then that is it for me. I keep putting it off, but I utilize the excuse that I'm just letting the technology get even better, the probability of success rise as the skills improve…"

"You're afraid of losing hope."

I'd never been able to actually put into words what I felt, but Felix had just synopsized it perfectly. It was a life changing moment.

"God, you are right." I sobbed. "That is exactly what it is." I lost it then and began sobbing. So many other things I given up hope for…my sight was the one thing I'd clung to…to the sweet temptation that I might just have a chance somewhere in the future.

I was selfish enough to enjoy the moment he wrapped me in his arms and comforted me. _Two crying spells in less than a week, I must be PMSing_, I thought.

"Will you please consider the surgery?" he begged when I finally got myself together. "I'll arrange everything. Jacques owes me many favors, and he will not hesitate to alter his schedule to accommodate you. If it doesn't succeed, you'll continue on being the perfectly capable, beautiful, and challenging woman you are. If it does, then you have a chance of regaining some of your sight."

"Fine." I gave in. I'd been hanging on the precipice for so long, the desire overwhelming for the possibility of seeing my daughter's face…of seeing a simple sunrise again, to see Jake…the man he'd become…to see the beautiful woman Leah had grown into.

I could feel the tension leave his body. "Thank God," he mumbled.

"Did Jake put you up to this?" I asked.

I felt him chuckle against me. "Yes and no. He and I conspired together."

I huffed in displeasure. If he was going to challenge me, perhaps it was time to do the same with him.

"Felix, if we've come to the conclusion that you are to remain my friend solely, may I challenge you myself."

"I'm not willing to concede this idea you've thrown out about investigating 'us.'" He threw out. "Isabella, is there any love in your heart for me?"

"More than with anyone else."

"But, I hear the unspoken 'but.'"

I pulled the straw hat off and began to fan us both, and I felt his fingertips at my hairline, checking his handiwork. "It is barely going to scar."

"Compliments of a wonderful doctor."

"The 'But' Isabella…what does it mean?"

"That I love you too much to saddle you with someone that can't give you everything."

"I think that you discredit yourself tremendously, and I wouldn't mind you 'saddling me,'" he joked in a ribald way.

This time my laughter joined his as we settled back into the comfortable peace between us. If I was whole…I could grow old with this man.

He chuckled. "What do you want to challenge me about?" He was bringing me back around to what I'd said earlier.

"Jane," I replied.

"Jane? Jane who?" he queried.

"Demetri's cousin. She is perfect for you."

"You move fast."

"Well, honestly I wasn't going to mention her until after I knew whether or not I had a chance still with you. I'm selfish like that."

"Isabella, I could make you happy. I know you would make me ecstatic. Shall we throw caution to the wind and attempt this. I say that because I am selfish enough to have you on any condition you set."

I reminisced on my premonition regarding him and Jane. I thought also on my track record. Aro was right…I was more of a matchmaker than even his wife. Perhaps I really did belong with the "Italian scum" as Jake called them. I'd set up numerous friends over the years, and I'd always been right. Jake often teased me that I should give up writing and create my own matchmaking site. I'd been the one to trick him and Leah, setting up their first date. They'd hated each other's guts before then…bickering constantly. I still considered that my finest coup.

I'd only ever been wrong once…

"No." I thought back to the rightness I felt about releasing him, letting him pursue the sassy Jane Velathri, who I sensed was his other half. "Have you ever cared about someone enough that you want them to have what makes them happy, even if it brings you discomfort?"

He chuckled, but I could tell there was pain associated with it. "Yes, I have."

We were both aware that we were speaking about each other.

"Do me a favor. Search out Demetri's cousin first. Tell me I am wrong, and I will consider this, but only then."

"So sure of yourself, huh?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"The surgery?" he came back at me.

"I have a press tour for the new book coming up. After that."

"When is your last stop?"

"God, you are getting pushy."

He threw his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to the side of his body, laughing freely this time. "I have to strike while the iron is hot."

The evening meal was scrumptious and served poolside. Afterward, Felix led me to a chaise longue away from the splash line. As he bent, I pulled him down to whisper into his ear. "Okay, first thoughts?"

I'd made sure that Sulpicia placed Felix by Jane. Cia had been more than happy to do so. She'd of course had been excited more about the fact that Felix was considering someone other than me. She was still angling to get me married into the family. Marcus saved me from her manipulations, placing himself into the seat beside me, Didyme to my other side. Honestly, they were staking out their claim more clearly than if they'd placed Demetri next to me. I'd still be unable to speak with him, to apologize for my curtness of the morning.

He growled at me. "Okay, she's extraordinary…beautiful…intelligent…entertaining."

"You can say it now," I teased him.

The growl he sent my way was so fake that it was my answer before he even capitulated. "You were right."

I squealed in success. "Never doubt The Swan."

"Imp," he said softly.

"Mistress Imp to you," I came back. "Go take her a glass of that wine Caius is considering. Oh, and Felix…I expect the first female child to be named after me in some way."

He tugged my hair affectionately. "You're okay here."

"Of course, I love to listen to the chatter."

"Okay. Oh by the way…Jacques has the surgery already scheduled. He's rearranged to fly into Seattle, one month from Monday. I'll make arrangements with the hospital administrator when I return to work. He'll give me whatever desire, because he knows I'm being actively recruited."

He purposely left off by whom. I'd found that little tidbit out by accident. Sticking my tongue out at him in a childish manner, I smiled in satisfaction when he moved away, carrying his full-bodied laughter with him. A sense of peace surrounded me, knowing I'd done the right thing.

It wasn't much later that I heard someone's footsteps approaching.

"Isabella," Demetri's voice acknowledged me.

"Oh, thank God. I thought I was going to have to have someone search you out for me, and that would have just caused too much speculation."

He chuckled at my wit. "May I join you?"

"Of course."

He was so silent that it was hard to know if he'd even sat.

"Was the pairing of Felix with Jane your idea?" he asked softly. His voice had a deep rich timbre and was extremely pleasant.

"Yes. Tell me from your eyes, good one or not?"

"Actually, perfect. I can't believe I never thought of it myself. I give them six months," he said intensely.

"Perfect. He has been alone too long."

"Are you certain that you aren't related to this family in some distant way?"

"Absolutely." I adopted an affronted tone.

He wasn't convinced. "Good try." He was silent for a few more moments. "I have a proposition for you, Isabella."

"I'm listening."

"With your pairing of Felix with my cousin and what occurred this morning, we are going to be the focus of every matchmaking woman and man in this family. I'm not in a position in my life to even be considering a relationship, yet that is exactly what is expected. They are ruthless when they determine to acquire another member for this cult."

He stopped for a minute, and I heard a squeal and a large splash of water.

"Felix and Jane," he offered up. He chuckled at whatever he was seeing. "I am aware of your position from Felix, although he has not shared what exactly occurred this day to convince him to cherish what he already has with you and pursue another. You aren't ready to be roped into a relationship are you?"

"No, not really. Felix would have been my sole enticement."

"Very well."

"Your proposition?"

"Let's give them their desire."

"Huh!" He was not proposing what I thought he was, was he?

"I'm not desirous of a serious relationship and neither are you. Yet, we are going to be mercilessly harassed. There will be times that I'll be expected to have a companion as I formalize my arrangements for my business here, and it will be good for me to have someone who understands, versus someone who is attempting to utilize my connections for their own gain. You are gorgeous, and I would be the envy of every man around to have you on my arm. I also think that perhaps you are desirous of some defense right now as well."

Ah…an agreement. To fool our friends and family. Could it work…could he be my salvation against all the ploys and plans of those who loved me…but just couldn't understand the fears and inadequacies that boiled within me?

"You presume to fool your family and mine?"

"Certainly, but make no mistake Isabella, I plan to have fun while doing it and enjoy your company. I can't imagine a livelier companion and will most likely want to see you even when there is no reason other than to go out for a drink or dinner or movie. I need a friend, and my father and mother love you. There could be no better recommendation, and I know that neither of our hearts will become involved in this."

Thinking back to the moment in my bed this morning, I was suddenly curious. Felix's kiss had been amazing, heart rendering, and threatening. Felix was a man I could fall in love with, had already to some degree, but Demetri's body against mine had sparked overwhelming physical needs.

"This morning…" I started.

He chuckled darkly, sensuously. "My dear, if you so desire, we can make it a friend with benefits arrangement. I've never embarked on such an adventure, but you are quiet aware that it wouldn't be a problem." He leaned over, and I felt the heat of his face not far from mine. "That kiss was amazing."

I wondered how we looked to the others. I knew I was in a corner, probably covered in shadows, and this man's body most likely leaned seductively over me.

"Felix?"

"He wants to protect you. I'll tell him my plan, and he will see the sheer ingenuity of it. Well, other than I would like to taste the delicacies that he hasn't."

I smacked his arm, calling him to task. He was dangerous…seriously dangerous.

"So you like aggression? I've never been the submissive in a relationship, but for you I would try…" he left off seductively.

"Dear Lord you are incorrigible," I said softly before barking out in laughter. Noticing that suddenly everything around us went quiet, I was sure we'd just become the center of attention.

"You are a devious bastard," I hissed at him, knowing that was exactly what he'd planned. It was said with much appreciation. He'd set the stage perfectly, and it was up to me to take advantage of his plan.

I hoped that he would be able to explain appropriately to Felix – otherwise I would.

I reached up to find his face and moved my hands across the planes of his cheeks and nose, then lips. An angel's face…a devil's face.

He groaned deeply. "Isabella, my second proposition is looking more and more beneficial. I can make you scream in pleasure, given the chance."

Hearing a gasp from across the way, I didn't know it was from Sulpicia or Didyme, but I knew my caress of his face had not been missed.

"Game on, Demetri. We'll worry about that second part of your proposition at another date. For now, convince your family that you find me adorable and irresistible."

"Ah, my dear. That will be easy…because I do."

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><p><em><strong>So, I'm wondering what you think? Let me have it! I love the "What the heck" reviews as much as the "I love it" ones. <strong>_

_**Reviews will get a sneak peek into the next chapter and a brief view of Felix's thoughts.**_

_**I'm content1april on twitter. Come join me, I'm still attempting to learn what to do. **_

_**Please visit my friends at the following stories. I PROMISE you won't be disappointed.**_

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7352604/1/Cliche**In a place far, far away lived a beautiful…oh, forget it. Who are we really kidding here? This is Hell. This is high school. Welcome to Forks.

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2086771/TwiLoverSue: Once Bitten and A Forbidden Love


	12. Welcome

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.

To my peeps, Suzie55, LemonMartinis, and TwiloverSue. You guys have been my total inspiration to continue doing this thing, and a huge support these past weeks as hell broke loose! I must acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me keep it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherriola. You my dear are a gift!

I just wanted to take a quick moment to clear up something – several of you have PM'd me concerned that your comments have hurt my feelings. I love that this story has such staunch supporters of Team Edward and Team Anyone But Edward! Please feel free to continue giving me your "two cents." Truly, I do love it. My comment was made about someone who intentionally hid behind anonymous comments and also went over to scam my stories on The Canon Tour. I'd spent an incredible amount of time getting "My Brother's Keeper" and "Modus Operandi" ready…and for them to be eliminated (really only way that it could have been resolved) because someone intentionally targeted me was just painful.

Saying all this to say – keep the comments coming!

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

"O.K" Two whole letters. It was crazy how much just getting that out of her meant to me.

When I'd walked into Carlie's open door, I'd known she was speaking to someone, but I'd figured Seth. As soon as I'd realized it was Bella, it was as if a strange force had taken over me. I'd just had to speak with her, and like an untried youth, all I'd been able to do was talk about bringing our child home. I'd been tongue tied.

I wondered what she'd do to avoid me on Sunday, for certainly she would try something. It was beginning to seem that I was going to have to trick her, but the rub was that I didn't want to do that. I wanted to speak with her directly and without pretense. Hopefully, I'd get the chance on Sunday when we returned. For now, I would keep my focus on Carlie.

Last night had been hard on us both. Her, because she'd learned the worst of me before getting to really know anything else. For me, it had been difficult because of exactly the same thing. I wanted to shout out…"this isn't who we really are; give us a chance." I'd discuss this with my dad a hundred times at least. I respected him beyond any other person I knew, and we'd both concluded that it was better to get the negative over with first, so that any love she built for us would be based upon total and honest truth. I hoped our plan didn't backfire on us.

After stopping by one of my favorite coffee houses for a large expresso for me and a smaller one for her, we passed back by her house and continued only a few miles before turning toward the Sound again. A minute later, I pulled up to the wrought iron gate.

"We're here?" Carlie questioned.

"Yes," I answered, seeing the shock in her face.

"But we're only a few miles from my home."

I nodded softly, unable to explain it.

"We've lived this close to each other all this time?" Her voice held a swell of sadness. It was disconcerting to realize just how fate had thrown us so close together, but kept us apart.

"Yes. In fact, I run by your street almost daily. I've just never cut down to look through your neighborhood because of the sign stating it was a dead end."

"Oh my God," was her whispered reply.

My thoughts exactly. What could I say? Pushing the code into the gate, I drove us through and saw her interest immediately peak.

My dad had bought the property years ago, and it had remained undeveloped until Rosalie and Emmett got engaged. Then, my mom had panicked, realizing that one of her babies was leaving the nest. What occurred was a hurried meeting of the minds and a quick development of plans. My parents' wedding present to the two had been the house they now occupied with Emmy and Ross. Alice's house began going up as soon as the ring was on her finger. She and Jasper had returned from their honeymoon to move into the modern mansion she'd created. She'd wanted to have a dozen children, but after the complications of Jasmine's birth, thanks to the scarring left by the rape, she'd had to do with just her and Alistair.

The houses sat in a row, the backs facing the Sound and the small beach below. Rosalie's and Emmett's house was all stone, and while almost formal in nature, it was rescued by Rose's ironically whimsical nature. A priceless picture by a master was just as likely to be paired with a fingerprint drawing that Ross or Emmy created. At first, you would believe that Rosalie had discovered an unknown Van Gogh to house beside the one she'd obtained through auction…until you saw the name scrawled in the corner. Emmett loved it, and even our mother had fallen victim to the chaos. Hence, the almost pompous stone castle Rose had insisted upon in her early "diva" years (as she called them) had been transformed into a fairy tale mansion complete with Princess Emmy and Prince Ross. It was a testament to the nature of our family that the kids had no clue just how privileged they were. In the midst of dance recitals, soccer, and other activities, came the volunteering at the hospital, the times at the soup kitchens, and their giving spirits.

Alice and Jasper's house had a Mediterranean feel. White on white stucco, it featured lots of windows and arched ways. Inside the walls were for the most part white, but Alice's whimsical nature came in to play throwing bright modern art and decorations against the backdrop. It was a "perfectly appropriate way to pay homage to her earlier teenage nature" she explained. Richly colored leather furniture decorated the medium colored wood floors, and she almost always kept a fire roaring in the large fireplace. Alice's house, while beautiful in its own right, was but the backdrop for her personality. It was the things placed into the room that reflected the warmth of who she was. She believed that the items used to personalize a home gave you the window to the owner's soul …hence my bright red teapot and the items that regularly appeared at my home. Alice claimed I had a warm soul, and that I tried to bury it. The red was significant of the fire she said I attempted to smolder.

Alice's and Emmett's houses sat to the right of the main drive in, the short paved road turning toward them, and then arching off into circular driveways in front of their houses. A beautiful garden, my mom's pride and joy, separated them from her and my dad's house. It was the masterpiece of our property, complete with a play area for the grandkids and a covered sitting arrangement for the adults with a huge barbeque, outdoor table, and pool. You would find us here most evenings that the weather allowed, enjoying each other's company. If the weather was bad, then the expansive living room in my parents' house became the meeting place of sorts. We took most meals together, each family cooking and bringing the items along the pathway that cut across the property. We were a rambunctious group, gathering together for all occasions. I'd never brought any of the women I'd dated here. This had been my private sanctuary, separate from the world I'd created away from my family.

The main house, Dad's and Mom's, rose from the property in a combination of stucco and stone. It was a perfect complement to the other homes, incorporating the two styles. Of course, Alice's and Jasper's had been built last, but I believed that Alice had purposely chosen the white stucco because of the aesthetic value of having all the houses blend together. The black shutters and ceramic tile roof highlighted the steep roof lines of the various sections. Inside, the white and light grey walls accented the wood floors and Italian marble that my mother had used to develop the huge kitchen countertops and mantle in the living room. Similar tiles had been utilized in the large dining room that overlooked the sound, the table having seen many a family affair.

My suite of rooms was separate from the main area, housed over the three car garage to the side. It was connected to the main house by a broad hallway that connected the garage to the kitchen. Accessible by a wide staircase that rose to the sitting room, it was a cozy but spacious area containing two bedrooms and the living space. It also had an external entrance that I was sure my mother had included in case I wanted to bring company home without the family knowing, but it had never been utilized for that purpose. That had been the purpose of the downtown condo…a space I'd determined to sell, to symbolically rid myself of all the filth I'd wallowed in.

Shaking off that thought, I pulled into the parking area on the right and then helped Carlie out. She'd learned quickly that I insisted on opening the door for her.

"Seth does the same thing," she supplied in a giggle when we stopped by the coffee shop.

I'd been grateful for the giggling considering the night and for the glimpse into Seth's character.

She glanced across the immaculate garage noticing my father's Mercedes sedan and mother's black Mercedes SUV. Her eyes were wide and curious. "The houses are beautiful," she murmured. "The land just to our side?"

We had over fifteen acres, but the undeveloped area beside my father and mother's clearly stood out. "Is mine," I answered. "For when I build."

"Why haven't you?" she asked

"Until now, I've had no reason."

She bit her lip adorably as she contemplated my statement.

"No pressure, Carlie. If you do decide to continue visiting, I will speak with Esme about beginning construction."

She nodded her head in a noncommittal way.

"Let's get you upstairs so that you can unpack first, and then you can face the masses." I could hear the sound of my family gathered clearly. I'd called to let them know we were on the way, and my mom had threatened me not to buy breakfast when I stopped for the coffee she knew I would require. "Mom has prepared a large spread, I'm sure."

Her stomach growled and an adorable blush covered her face.

"I know, I'm hungry as well," I admitted.

"This is very nice," she said of my retreat above the garages. It was comfortable and homey, and…me.

A large overstuffed couch was matched with a similar chair. An entertainment center took over one wall complete with a Wii. Pictures of the family decorated the walls of the living area, interspersed with my own personal priceless paintings, compliments of Emmy, Ross, Ali, and Jas. A bookshelf occupied the wall behind the couch, and the dog-eared copies of my favorites were crammed into every available inch.

"Wow!" she exclaimed with enthusiasm as she stepped in front of it. "I love to read! But I've kinda gotten addicted to my Kindle. Momma had to buy me a second one. I ran out of space on the first."

Somehow I didn't find that surprising. Bella and I were both voracious readers. How did she read now? Did she purchase audio books or buy Braille ones, I wondered. I watched my daughter as she looked around in fascination, browsing the titles there. When she finally turned to me, I smiled at the appreciation in her face.

"The rooms here aren't as big as those at the condo, but I know that Alice purchased your furniture to fit. Again, I'm sure she and Rose are going to want to take you shopping at some point to pick out your decorations."

A flash of excitement animated her face as I led her to the door that entered into her bedroom. Here, Alice had bought a white wood set. It had a gently curved headboard supported by the base of the bed, which had pull out drawers for storage. A chest of drawers with a mirror over it stood against the outside wall, a taller one to the side of the door that led to her bathroom. My mom had put wood floors here as well, so the white of the bed stood out in contrast to the deep warm colors in the wood and the light tan of the walls. It was pleasing even without the colorful things I knew they would place here… or thinking of the distress she'd felt at my story…hopefully would place here.

"The bathroom is smaller than what you have at home, or the condo, but it is still nice."

She placed her bag just outside the closet doors and went over to look inside the bathroom and came out grinning. "It's perfect. I'll miss the tub, but the shower is amazing," she said of the tiled masterpiece.

"Mom provided some bedding until you go shopping," I said of the colorful quilt she'd thrown over the bed. I recognized it as one she'd made during the time she'd sat with Alice, during the bed rest that had been ordered in response to the complicated pregnancy with Jasmine.

She looked shyly at me, and I wondered what had caused the emotion. "Yes?"

"I like the quilt, do you think I might be able to keep it."

I thought of how pleased that would make my mother. "It's yours."

She moved to look at it more closely. "Wait, this isn't bought, this is homemade. I'm sure that whoever made it will want to have it back."

She definitely had an eye for detail, having noticed the almost perfect but obvious hand-stitching.

"My mother…your grandmother…made it. It will make her happy to know you like it. She wouldn't have put it here if she didn't want you to have it. I think she meant it only as an extra cover, but use it in any way you like."

"I can do a lot with this," she grinned looking around.

I could see the speculative look in her eye and would bet that she was envisioning splashes of color against the walls. It pleased me to think that she was contemplating it. Maybe that meant that she truly was going to give us a chance. She opened the doors of the closet and hung the few items she'd brought; putting a small case that I assumed contained her toiletries in the bathroom.

"Can I see your room before we go downstairs?" she asked.

I grinned at her. "Of course."

I took her to the other door and opened it. Our rooms were located beside each other, only separated by the bathrooms. Mine was a mirror image of hers, just reversed. My comforter and window covering were a deep rich blue against the ladder back headboard of the king sized golden oak bed. A Persian rug of varying colors gave me a place to step out without hitting the cold floor, and I realized that we would need to get Carlie one as well. I'd given up the larger dresser to have more room for the bigger bed. I kept clothes here and at the condo, so the space was adequate with the large closet.

She moved into the room and looked around. Then, she made a straight line for my bedside table. I groaned knowing what she would find there, having forgotten to move it.

I saw the tears gather in her eyes as she looked down at the picture of her mother and me.

Turning away to give her privacy, I remembered the day that Alice gave it to me. I'd destroyed everything of Bella during the first months of my supposed betrayal. Esme had cried when she realized my path of destruction had also included her precious photos as well. She'd of course boxed them up, having felt the same level at anger for what we'd felt, but I'd gone searching, knowing that they were somewhere. She'd come home to find me high, standing over a small bonfire. I would never forget the look of anguish on her face as I'd searched out Alice's room, as well, and had included all her items. Alice, who'd also felt betrayed, hadn't really cared.

Years later, Alice had found a roll of film that had been accidentally packed away. Curious as to what it was, she'd thrown it in to be developed, never knowing the bombshell she would uncover…picture after picture of Bella's loving face smiling out from the frames of the camera at us. Most had been distorted, thanks to the age of the film, but one had survived. My head lay in Bella's lap, and I was gazing up at her with such a look of adoration that it was painful. She, in turn, looked down at me, smiling broadly. Her hair had been tucked behind her ear, and so, the curve of her cheek and large expressive eyes were prevalent. My mother, who was an astonishing photographer, had captured the poignant moment so lovingly.

It had been taken on a family picnic; just days before I'd fallen prey to Tanya's manipulation. It was the last day we'd spent as a family together.

The finding of the film had occurred about three months after Tanya broke and told us the truth. So, to see the plain evidence of our stupidity and perfidy and the love in Bella's eyes staring back at us had been intolerable. My mother and sister had sobbed when Alice opened the envelope. Swearing "should have done more" out, Emmett had stormed out of the house, much to everyone's surprise. He hadn't returned that night, calling Rose from a bar where he'd gone and gotten drunk. Rosalie and Jasper had learned of our treachery that day.

Rose, ever the pragmatist, had just looked at us and shook her head. "She deserves the right to be apologized to. I don't care if you find her pregnant with her sixth child by the love of her life. I cannot even imagine this family doing something like that. It is like finding out that Mr. Rodgers was a pedophile." She'd regally pulled her hugely pregnant body from the couch, stating that she was going to retrieve her husband. Carlisle had settled it when he ignored her angry rant and picked up his keys to drive into town, on a mission to retrieve his drunken son.

Emmett hadn't been right for the months afterward. Only the birth of Emmy had brought him out of the dumps. I'd spent the next year working eighty or more hours a week to avoid the feelings the pictures caused me and the pleas of my family for me to hire another investigator.

I'd spent probably three months away from them when my mother's birthday couldn't be ignored. When I'd gone to unpack my bag, I found the picture sitting in the exact spot that Carlie found it. It was Alice's torturous reminder of what I was giving up, not looking for her.

I suddenly comprehended that Bella had been pregnant in the picture. The realization floored me, and I felt sick. My head had lain beside the glorious creature in front of me, and I'd been totally oblivious. In effect, it was our first family photo…our only family photo. Alice's reminder had been prophetic, without us even knowing it.

"You both look so young in this. Do you have others?" she asked, and I heard the excited tone in her voice.

I was such a bastard. "No, that is the only one," I admitted.

She obviously realized the implication.

"Alice had quite a few copies made. You gave me the gift of the other one. I'll have one framed for you."

"Thank you," she said graciously, carefully placing the picture back down in its place of honor. She tried, but didn't succeed in controlling the shaking of her hand.

"Are you ready to meet the others? I can't believe that my mom has given us this amount of time alone. She is literally dying to speak with you."

I saw her take a deep breath as if preparing herself, and I didn't know if it was from fear or disgust. Well there was only one way to find out.

"C'mon, I'll protect you in the lion's den."

She snorted before a trembling smile came across her face. "Okay."

The first person to meet us was of course my mom. She was in the kitchen pulling something that smelled wonderful out of the oven when we stepped through the door together. She almost dropped the large pan when her eyes saw Carlie. As it was, the sound of the pan hitting the marble countertop was like a gunshot, and my father quickly came in through the archway from the dining room to see what was wrong. He stepped to my mother's back and placed his hands on her shoulder in support. She tried valiantly to keep from crying, but a single tear drop escaped her rapidly blinking eyes and ran down her cheek.

"Carlie, we are so glad you're here," my father said, taking over the moment.

"Thank you…" she stopped realizing she didn't know what to call him.

He smiled softly at her. My father was deadly to women, and it would seem that his granddaughter was no exception. The warmth of his smile was mirrored in hers.

"Why don't you just call me Carlisle, until you are comfortable…"

"NO WAY! He's Pops to us all and that's that," Ross shouted, barreling through the doorway in all his seven year old glory.

My eyes jerked to Carlie to see her reaction, but her smile was blinding now. She'd said she enjoyed children, and it seemed that it was true if her treatment of Ross was any evidence.

She knelt, putting her at eye level with Emmett Jr. "You must be Ross?"

"Yup," he proudly announced throwing his shoulders back. "And you're Carlie, Uncle Edward's daughter, right?"

"Yes," she answered a little more shyly this time.

"Then, he's Pops to you too, and that's Meme…" he pointed to Esme "…so c'mon, we've been fighting about who you were going to sit by. I said me 'cause I'm the oldest, but Alistair said it had to be him." He didn't wait for her answer, reaching out to grab her hand, and before she could even rise, he started forward.

She stumbled a bit before she got her feet under her, but Ross never broke stride.

"Thought you were going to protect me," she giggled out at me as she was pulled away.

"That's just the cub," I threw back, amazed she could find humor after seeing the shock and sorrow on my mother's face.

"I have a solution. I'll sit between the two of you," she dispersed a peace treaty to Ross just as he pulled her through the door. We heard Alistair's voice as soon as she hit the dining room. He was a charmer, just like Jasper.

"M'am, that seems a good truce."

I wanted to roll my eyes at his accent. At five, he was already attempting to woo the ladies and was purposefully cultivating his father's southern charm. The women of our family only encouraged him, finding it adorable.

"I'm so sorry," my mom whispered as soon as Carlie was out of earshot, beginning to shake under my dad's hands. "I prepared myself, I really did, but when she walked in the doorway, it was like seeing a ghost." She put her hand to her mouth attempting to stifle the sobs.

"Dear, you were fine," my father murmured against her hair. "This is a shock to us all, but she couldn't help but see the love in your face. She'll love you as soon as she gets to know you." He turned her gently toward him and took the apron she'd been wearing off to use the corner to dab at her eyes.

"Edward, son, you look tired," he said, calling me on the carpet as only a father can do.

"I didn't sleep last night." He quirked his eyebrow at me. "I told her everything, just like we discussed. She was overwhelmed, and I couldn't relax enough to lie down afterward."

"You sat up all night brooding didn't you?" My mother said, putting it all into perspective.

"Of course; you know me," I admitted.

We heard Emmett's booming laughter just then, and it roused us.

"Come, dear. Let's go wage the war against our granddaughter, and then after we win her over, we'll start on her mother," my father proposed.

As I followed them out of the room, I wondered would it really be that easy. Then a smile broadened my face. No, it wouldn't. I knew Bella…she was going to make me work for it. Somehow, the thought energized me, and with a little more spirit, I followed my parent's toward the room where my family surrounded our child.

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><p><em><strong>So, I'm wondering what you think? Let me have it! I love the "What the heck" reviews as much as the "I love it" ones. <strong>_

_**Reviews will get a sneak peek into the next chapter and a brief view of Carlisle and Esme's reaction to meeting Carlie again…hint, a revelation of part of a secret they've kept will be revealed. Yes to those authors that have commented…not all the Cullens were so cold and callous…remember, not all is as it seems.**_

_**Please visit my friends at the following stories. I PROMISE you won't be disappointed.**_

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7352604/1/Cliche **In a place far, far away lived a beautiful…oh, forget it. Who are we really kidding here? This is Hell. This is high school. Welcome to Forks.

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2086771/TwiLoverSue:** Once Bitten and A Forbidden Love


	13. Regrets

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**To my peeps, Suzie55, LemonMartinis, and TwiloverSue. You guys have been my total inspiration to continue doing this thing, and a huge support these past weeks as hell broke loose! I must also acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me keep it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherriola. You my dear are a gift!**

**Please grant me just a few moments to clear up some misconceptions. If you are reading this story thinking that this is a quick kiss and make up one…sorry. It isn't going to happen like that. I have it outlined, and I just want to point out that we are only twelve chapters in. Yes, right now Carlie is infatuated, no, she isn't naïve, and yes, she will tear them a couple of new ones before it is over (right now she only knows so much). Secondly, I never represented all the Cullens as being bad. Several readers have commented that I am cheapening the integrity of the story by hinting that "not all is as it seems." Please go back and read the first couple of chapters, as I placed hints there. NO…I'm not "caving" to pressure to make it a nice little story, I'm following my outline. Trust me, Edward and Alice have a long way to go…and it won't be pretty getting there.**

**This is the promised Esme/Carlisle outtake. It was designed to go out for review replies…but took on a life of its own. It is too big to send through FF in a direct message, so I decided to post it. Reviewers will still get the preview of the next chapter.**

**Having said that…the reason I'm posting the previously designed outtake is that my betas all have much more interesting lives than mine (smile). Several are going to big premieres…and I'm living vicariously through them. It'll be quite a few days before the next chapter is up. So, I'm hoping that you'll accept this as a peace offering in the meantime.**

**Also – just so my betas don't kill me – this is totally unbetaed and the errors are all mine. Remember, they are getting ready for "thrusting" and breaking headboards. Sigh…**

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><p>Esme POV<p>

Waves from the Sound crashed against the rocks that framed the small beach like area below me. Reclining on the raised lounge, I looked through the barely visible railings to the force of nature…age old in its persistence and motion…before I took a large sip of my drink. I'd broken down and grabbed red wine from the cellar before coming back to my and Carlisle's bedroom. My glass was currently half empty…or maybe I should say half full. What the hell was it that the self help guru's said about perception? It was how you "saw" the situation that defined what it meant.

Screw them…

Sometimes situations were negative no matter which way you looked at them.

I giggled at my current philosophical nature and hiccupped loudly. Of course, it would be then that my husband walked out onto the deck to find me. He looked at the bottle and pulled a blanket off the other chair to sit down beside me, bringing me into his lap before tucking the blanket around us in defense against the cool air. Taking the glass from my hand, he finished off the rest of the fine rich liquid, then filled the glass and all but drained it again before pouring the last of the bottle into the glass.

"Damn…this was a fine idea, but I fear that one glass won't put me in the same mood as you," he said softly.

Leaning over toward the other side of the teakwood chair, I felt around until I touched glass. Pulling the unopened bottle to us, I held it up like the greatest of treasures.

"My dear, I am unworthy of you," he grunted in appreciation, before using the cork screw I'd laid on the side table to open the new bottle.

Placing the glass back into my hand, he pulled me back against his broad chest, and I relaxed into the comfort and refuge that only he could provide me. Even during the hell that we'd been through with Alice, the attack on his reputation, Edward's breakdown, and the loss of Bella, he'd remained steady…my rock.

Being far from saints, we'd struggled to balance out forces that would have destroyed most families. We'd survived…but barely and only with many scars to show. But nothing we'd been through could compare to what Bella had…nothing.

We'd been so close…so close, but yet so far. I still couldn't believe that the small dark headed child we'd spied from afar had been our granddaughter…that the arms linked between Jacob and Bella had been because of her loss of sight and not a sign of marital bliss.

"Esme, we didn't know," he said softly, obviously knowing my mind as if it was his own.

The hiccup that threatened turned into a soft sob, and his hands brushed down my arms to comfort me.

"I have chastised myself immensely for not just confronting them on that porch the day she came to the hospital."

He was speaking of the day that Bella appeared in the emergency room demanding to speak to him, when he'd asked to have her turned away from the chaotic area. He'd later found out that security had overreacted, having been through the craziness with the woman who'd set him up. Carlisle was loved by the staff, and the man he'd asked to handle it had taken his words to heart. In the midst of a minor emergency, Carlisle had directed one of the orderlies to catch the officer and ask to have the young woman sent to his office. Arriving there an hour later, he'd found an empty space. Only after tracking his protector down had he determined what had occurred, the orderly only finding the man after he'd escorted Bella from the grounds.

I still remembered getting the call from him, informing me that he would be stopping by Charlie and Bella's house to speak with her…to find out what she was so insistent to say to us.

I remembered just as clearly his ashen face when he walked into the house and his words at my question. "She was busy."

He'd pulled onto the street, but continued by the home when he saw Bella on the front porch wrapped in Jacob's arms, clinging to his shirt almost like a desperate lover. Of course, we now knew that it had to be in grief as she dealt with our perfidy, but then, with the pictures that had already been delivered…it had seemed as if we were the ones whose trust had been violated. I'd been unable to take any of her phone calls, afraid that I'd take the residual anger of the last year out on her. I'd been so sanctimonious then…thinking I was being lofty by refusing to even risk the possibility.

Edward's path into self-destruction and Alice's severe post-traumatic stress had raged for more than a year and a half before I could even think past a day to day existence. When I'd finally been able to disengage Edward from Tanya's control and the cocaine, I'd been able to breathe and think. It was then that Carlisle and I finally caved to the consistent worry and doubt that had wormed its way through our psyche and made the trip back to Forks.

Arriving in town, it was to find that the Quileute were having a Potlatch and figuring that Bella would be with Jacob, we'd driven to the reservation…never going by the house. If we'd done that, perhaps the realization that the home had been sold would have given us pause…the knowledge that Charlie had died a reason to do more than what we had.

But as Carlisle had done previously, we'd kept driving seeing Jacob and Bella when we'd pulled into the parking lot of the small La Push community center. Walking toward the building, Bella had her arm tucked in Jacob's, a girl toddler rode his shoulders, facing away from us her hands were clenched into his shirt…her dark brown hair in soft curls down her back. Her twin, or so we'd thought, walked to the other side of Jacob holding his hand…hesitant in his steps as only a small toddler can be. He'd turned toward our direction and his similarity to Jacob had been uncanny.

It had been the proof that either Bella had been in love with Jacob all along, or that she'd turned to him after we'd left her. Either way, neither Carlisle nor I had ever mentioned our trip to Edward or Alice; we'd barely discussed it between ourselves. When, through Tanya's revelations, we'd come to understand that our second presumption had been correct, the pain had been almost unbearable. Our only consolation had been that we'd assumed that Bella had found peace with Jacob after all, and that she'd had at least two babies and gone on with her life.

At first, we'd hoped that Edward wouldn't look for her, because we knew that what he would find would kill him…where nothing else had succeeded. We'd both breathed a sigh of relief when he called the investigator off…until we saw the knowledge eating at him day by day, destroying my once bright and beautiful boy.

I'd never hated anyone in my life, but I grew to hate the boy that had started all this. I hated that money had been the root of all evil, and I hated my son, in a way, for refusing to let go of his self-hatred. I hated myself for not getting out of that car and for believing, for even a little while, the tale that had been spun. It was then that Carlisle and I changed our mind…desiring for Edward to find her, hoping that he'd find resolution finally…and perhaps peace. We'd called our friends in Forks, but all they'd known was that Bella Swan hadn't been seen since before we left. Jacob was gone as well, and without asking for them to snoop, we'd been left with the knowledge that a private investigator was the only way.

Carlisle had tried hard then to get Edward to look again…hoping, against hope, that seeing Bella happy would set him on a path to find some degree of serenity in his life.

But, year after year, woman after woman, I saw pieces of my son disappear. The day Carlie walked into our door had been the answer to our many prayers, but also the beginning of our torture. For it was easy to justify that we'd never looked for her when we'd thought she was happy with Jacob, complete in her relationship with him and their children. To know that we'd been so close, but yet so far was like acid upon our skin. To know what she'd gone through without us, because of us…torture.

"Esme…" he breathed out a sigh, feeling the tension in my body "…talk to me."

"Can't I just lay here and get tipsy?" I retorted, knowing it really wasn't a solution to our problems, but Carlisle's arms and a good warm buzz seemed particularly enthralling at the moment.

He chuckled against my hair, knowing me too well. "It won't work. You've never been one to drown your sorrows…facing them head on is more like it."

Blowing out a breath of air, I began babbling. "Why would she even begin to forgive us? She has everything she ever needed, a loving daughter, Jacob and his family who have become hers, Aro and his people…she doesn't need us, Carlisle. We need her, but she has once again upstaged us…becoming whole and strong through her adversity; whereas, we've never been able to obtain that."

I turned to look up at him, and couldn't help but marvel at the face looking down at me. An angel's face…belonging to an equally pleasing soul…a man I still couldn't believe had fallen in love with me of all individuals. "You saw him tonight. If Bella won't allow him the chance, the only thing that will keep this from destroying him is Carlie…"

Then he said the words I didn't want to hear. "Esme, we have to accept something…" he paused and I felt him shudder "…we may have lost Bella. It doesn't mean I don't want to fight for her to give us the opportunity to become important to her again, but the reality may be that just too much damage was done. We'll tell her what we did, what we saw, and our misinterpretations, but if she decides that she doesn't want anything further to do with us…we'll make amends in the ways we can and allow her the dignity of telling us to go to hell."

The next rush of the water broke below us, and I thought about how raw my nerves were…and how each new day seemed like a fresh wave of torture crashing against them. "I feel like I'm already there."

"I know," he whispered, his voice as agonized as I felt.


	14. Worth

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.

Just a few ANs. Review replies will be slow this week due to Thanksgiving (I have 15 people coming to my house), Christmas decorating, FF giving me fits on review replies, and my computer. IE9 is giving me fits and I have to reformat my whole computer! AARGH!

Just be patient with me and I'll get back to your Rants, Loves, and etc... In addition, I ask forgiveness for using ~SOMP~ to break up sections, but FF is taking out the italics for some reason - or running the words together. Hopefully, I learn how to fix that soon.

For those of my readers in the United States - HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

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><p>Carlie POV<p>

I followed Ross out of the room…as if I had any other choice. He was absolutely adorable and totally confident of his place in this house, unlike me. I felt my nerves almost overtake me as he pulled me through the door and the four adults in the next room turned quickly to look at me.

The adorable blond boy broke the ice for us by saying in response to my proposition, "M'am, that seems a good truce."

He reminded me of several of the little boys I babysat, highly intelligent and precocious. His sister sat in a booster seat beside him. She was probably four. She had the same honey blond hair and sparkling blue eyes.

Alistair pulled the chair between he and Ross out ceremoniously, and to give myself a moment to gather my wits, I walked toward it. As soon as I sat, Ross and Alistair smirked at each other over me. It was a classic test of strength. Daddy…Uncle Jake…I almost didn't know what to call him now…. The thought stopped me for a moment. _Daddy_, I decided, surprised at the anger I felt at my hesitation, would have called it a pissing contest…to see whose was bigger.

I looked to Alistair and my direct gaze seemed to disturb him. I decided to tease him a little. "A _**true**_ southern gentleman would place my napkin into my lap." They both dove toward my plate causing the one who'd been introduced as Jasper to smile brilliantly and my dark headed uncle to laugh. I felt awful about the fact that I'd kneed him.

"Um…Uncle Emmett…" my address of him in that manner made the room go quiet "…I'm sorry about the whole knee thing."

"He deserved it," the gorgeous blond woman at his side said. "If not for that day, for plenty of others." She grinned at me, and I realized that she wouldn't have been a party to what went on, along with the quieter man who'd married Aunt Alice. Perhaps these were the two that I could relate to first, to give me time to assess the others, because although I was playing nice, I was extremely mad at how they'd treated my mother. But at the same time…love had already taken root in my heart.

Anger flared inside my chest that I'd been placed in this position by their actions.

"Even a small mouse has anger," Grandfather Billy's words ran through my head. His wisdom then followed. "Little one, do not allow your anger to rule you, for rule you it will if you give it lead. Watch, listen, and hear what occurs around you and only then shall you become wise in the choices you make." He knew me to well…how headstrong I could be. It would seem I was too much like my father, and I needed to be more like my mother. I was marrying his grandson; and therefore, would be a help mate to a future elder of the Quileute nation. Grandfather continued to teach me in their ways. And Quileute ways were to disarm the enemy with stealth, not reaction. Reaction would have been easy for me as I thought of the hurt they'd caused my mother.

"Emmett could get 'reprimanded' every day and it still wouldn't be enough," Aunt Alice's words brought me back to the moment, and then her tinkling laughter filled the room. It was hard not to grin at the infectious sound.

She caught my eyes trying to see how I would react, and although I tried, pain skewed my smile. The pleading in her eyes begged me for a chance, and I attempted to right my smile. It was if I could see her breathe a sigh of relief. She really shouldn't be assuming that everything was right with us. My instincts told me there was more to her story, but again, time would only tell if I was correct or not.

My grandparents and father came in right after and all four adults turned to assess him, giving me a moment to right myself. He looked horrible, I realized. He was still too handsome for his own good, but there were huge dark circles under his eyes and a haggard look to his face. Part of that could of course be explained by a sleepless night, but I was certain it was much more. Not many people would admit to their sins so readily. He could have attempted to tell me a pretty story, as I was sure I would have never gotten the whole of it out of Mama. Not that she would have lied to me, but she would have sugar coated it. She already had. I was also quite certain that I might not want to know what he'd said to her…that that knowledge would have destroyed even the small kernel of possibility for us.

It made me wonder…why my mom would feel the need to protect them in that manner. Why hadn't she told me? For all she knew, they didn't care for her, having thrown her to the wind, and yet she still had spun stories of wonder about him. I realized at that moment that I'd never questioned about Edward's family when I was younger. Because of her fairytale explanation, I'd just always assumed he didn't have any. For certainly, the family of the Edward she'd told me about would have wanted me. As I watched them begin to take their seats around the table, I realized how right I'd been.

I was good at reading people and always had been, which was the reason I'd decided to become a psychiatrist. And what I knew was that they loved me already, but just as I was clear that they loved me, I knew something else; they loved my Mama as well. My father…dear Lord…what had he done. That picture had said it all. They'd looked at each other as if there was no one else in the world. It was the way Daddy looked at Aunt Leah, Uncle Aro at Aunt Sulpicia. How must it feel for Edward to live daily with the knowledge that he'd thrown it all away? How must it feel to him to look at me now and know just how much he'd thrown away? No wonder he looked drawn and restless.

For certain, I knew only a couple of things. My mom had loved them enough at some point in time to continue protecting them to me. She'd wanted me to believe their inherent goodness even when she had all the 'evidence' to the contrary. The mess of why they did what they did was just that…a mess. The individuals in front of me had lived with that as well, but I wasn't through letting them know. They needed to understand the hell my mother's life had been. She wouldn't define it that way, but Daddy had. He'd never pulled any punches about the struggles, although he and Aunt Leah had certainly hid my father's true identity from me. Could I blame them, though? Knowing what had occurred so long ago?

Even knowing what had happened, I was still angry with Edward for his actions. He wasn't perfect, although he might look it. He'd made a very bad decision. A decision that had irreparably changed everyone's life and his family had allowed it to happen.

As I saw them bow their heads for prayer and Carlisle began to speak, I realized that although I wanted to give them all my whole heart, I just couldn't because of it. Only time would tell if I ever could?

**Edward POV**

"Father, thank you for the many blessings you have bestowed on this family. May we always remember that we are called upon to make the lives of those around us better. Thank you for the food we are about to partake of, for it is in your name we pray."

"Amen," everyone around echoed, and then the chaos set in.

Family meals were a loud and hazardous experience in the Cullen household. Hands, mostly Emmett's, were slapped if someone decided to be greedy about a particular dish and family discussion became boisterous. The kids felt free to give their opinions of the topics discussed and it often came down to verbal blows.

My mom had attempted to rein it in years ago, but she finally decided that not many families ate together, so if it meant it being chaos for it to happen…it was well worth it. I wondered what Carlie felt about the mess, but if her grin was any indication she was fine. I imagined that meals with the Quileute were probably as rambunctious.

Alice was taking Jasper to task over his plan to keep the kids up half the night looking at the stars.

"The Persieds were particularly brilliant a couple of weeks ago," Carlie offered up to the table.

Jasper's head jerked to her and he narrowed his brilliant blue eyes on her. "They were weren't they? Generally, they aren't as strong as the ones in August, but the weather was particularly good. Were you at an observatory?" he asked.

She shook her head shyly. "No, Grandfather Billy made Sam and Paul carry him out to La Push and we watched them out on the beach. It was beautiful. The lights from Forks are so far away that it was amazing."

"I bet. Do you like astronomy?" Jasper asked quickly taking the opportunity to engage my daughter in the conversation. She'd been quietly observing throughout the time we'd been eating.

"I do, but honestly Seth knows more. The events are pretty big out on the reservation, they make it a party."

"Billy, he is doing well?" my father asked of her.

The obvious affection that came over her face at the mention of his name was almost like a punch to the gut. Jealousy ate at me. "Give it time," I told myself.

"Yes." She smiled. "Sue stays on him to eat right, with his diabetes and all. Grandfather just grumps back and tells Harry to take his wife home. He then sneaks around to eat junk food. But, I think that what Sue forces on him helps. He looks better now than when she started her campaign against him."

My father nodded, pleased to hear the news on the Quileute leader.

"Would you like to go tonight with us, to the observatory?" Jasper asked of her, earning a punch in the arm from Alice.

"Fine!" she mumbled at him, "you can deal with the cranky toddlers tomorrow. Rose and I will take Carlie shopping for her bedding and decorations before she heads home. Edward are you game?" she asked quickly.

I adopted a contemplative look. "Home with a cranky Ross, Emmy, Ali, and Jas, or shopping with three beautiful…" my mother's eyes widened and I realized she wanted to be included "…how about four beautiful women…that is a hard choice. I guess since I promised Bella I would bring Carlie home, I'll have to suffer through the shopping."

I saw the startled glances of my family towards me. I'd not spoken Bella's name so easily before, and they knew the difference even if Carlie was unaware of the significance.

The men cleaned up the late brunch dishes, and then we spent the day by the pool. I watched Carlie frolic with the kids, her bond already solidifying with my nieces and nephews. They were enjoying an older cousin to play with, and she became the person to catch them as they jumped from the diving board, although Emmett had to step in as she grew tired. The unexpected sense of peace as I observed her, the warm lazy day, and the oversized chaise lounge lulled me, and soon, I felt my eyes droop, compliments of the sleepless night.

~~SOMP~~

When I awoke from my impromptu nap, it was to find Carlie's back cuddled into my chest.

Startled, I looked over to the seat beside me and saw my mother there, camera in hand, tears in her eyes. "Don't worry, I took tons of pictures. It was too precious not to do so. She came looking for you and found you asleep. Next thing I knew, she'd laid down beside you and a minute later, she was asleep as well."

I didn't trust my voice to respond for a moment. "Okay," I finally rasped out.

"If she's going with Jasper, Emmett, and the kids, she'll need to get up soon to shower and change."

"Okay, just give us a few more moments," I begged softly, admiring a strand of familiar chocolate colored hair that curled around one of the cushions.

I planned to move before she woke up; guessing that she would be embarrassed to find herself snuggled against me. She was being cordial, but I'd recognized the assessing look in her eyes and had seen the flashes of anger even though she attempted valiantly to hide them. Jacob and Bella had done an amazing job of raising their children, including Carlie…she was insightful and poised…almost too much so for someone so young. She was definitely more mature than I had been as a teenager…had I been half as smart as Carlie, we wouldn't be in our current position. I was grateful that she had Jacob in her, knowing that she'd gotten a good bit of her wisdom and poise from him and his father. I planned to speak with him, to discuss what he was willing to let me have of her…to ask permission, so to speak, to be a part of my daughter's life. I needed his blessing as much as I needed Bella's; Carlie was his daughter after all. I saw that now, away from the jealousy that had controlled me those first days of knowing of her existence. Jacob Black deserved my apology as much as Bella. I was still a little unsure who, if either, would accept it.

But for the moment, I wanted to savor Carlie's unconscious decision to seek comfort from me. The need to protect her and to be a father to her washed over me so strongly in that moment, that I knew I'd kill anyone who hurt her. It was a life defining moment for me, to realize that all my priorities had irrevocably changed.

~~SOMP~~

_"I love you," Bella whispered softly against the skin of my abdomen. Her silky hair trailed across my stomach and erection. She was teasing me, and she knew it. The curve of her lip told me all I needed to know._

_"Baby, you're killing me." My voice was harsh and rough and needy. She giggled at the sound._

_Her lips trailed upward over my chest, nipping at my nipple. I groaned, uncertain if I'd wanted to feel her lips wrapping around me…or on mine. I rationalized that if I got to kiss her, it would mean that I could sink into her. My dick was actually happy with either choice, as long as he was getting some part of her. I moaned as she bit softly into the curve of my neck before trailing her tongue up the side._

_"Tell me what you want, Edward?" she said seductively._

_The feel of her breath washing over my ear made me jump in anticipation. Pre-cum leaked from me, as Jr. prepared himself for sinking into "his Bella." Funny how "he" had a say about how I made love to her, constantly upset with me for wasting time "talking to her about things." I wanted to laugh. Only a teenage boy would consider his cock as a separate entity. Mine was…he was a territorial bastard when it came to Bella. "Mine," he was constantly snarling at me._

_I realized that I'd spoken the word outloud when I heard her giggle again._

_She broke away from the skin below my ear and propped herself on her elbows so that she could look down into my face. The curtain of her hair surrounded us, but couldn't disguise the twinkle in her chocolate eyes._

_"Yes?" she smirked._

_"Just arguing with your biggest fan," I admitted unabashedly._

_"My biggest fan?" she repeated, leaning on one elbow to free up a hand to pay her "fan" homage._

_My eyes rolled back into my head at the feel of her tiny fingers wrapped around me. She slicked her fingers through the moisture leaking from me and used it as lubrication as she stroked down._

_"Bella…" I growled out, thankful that she'd listened to every single word I'd told her about how to please me with her hand. My hips bucked into her as Jr. wept in thanks._

_"Edward, focus…" She challenged me, and I forced my eyes open to look at her. "My lips, my hand, my pus…"_

_I roared out at the filth coming from her lips, flipping us over and plunging down into her. The heat and snugness of her enveloped me, and I heard her sigh in response, wrapping her legs around my waist. Because we'd been teasing each other for most of the afternoon, neither one of us needed much more, and as I moved in her deeply, I saw lust infuse her face. She squeezed her legs around me unmercifully as she arched up, her walls sucking at me greedily. Screaming out her name out, I came hard into her._

Jarring from sleep, I sat up in bed, breathing hard, and felt the stickiness of my cum on my hands and stomach. It was pretty bad when I jacked myself off in my sleep…but I had been reliving Bella's hands…Bella's body…nirvana… It had been such a vivid remembrance, and I groaned at the feelings that had swirled around us, surrounding us in cocoon of pleasure and communion. Even in my teenage enthusiasm, naiveté, and coarseness…there had still been incredible love in the joining of our souls and bodies. A startling awareness hit me…along with my heart, I'd left that with her, I realized…my soul…to become a soulless monster. For isn't that what I'd been for so long, only reforming parts of my life and wallowing in others. Did she even know that she still owned them…owned me?

Did she care?

"NO!" the voice inside me said, "Why would she?"

Why would she indeed…

I swore at the chaos inside me, and then forced myself from under the sheets, knowing I'd have to throw them into wash. Luckily, I'd probably be able to hide it with the excuse that I was doing it as a result of the weekend ending. Using the sheet to wipe myself off, I went ahead and stripped the bed. Then, I listened intently to the room beside me and thanked God that I hadn't shouted Bella's name out during my little fantasy…like I'd done in the past. Imagine explaining that to Carlie!

Needing a run to work out my thoughts, I quickly showered to clean myself and left a note for Carlie letting her know where I was going and that hopefully I'd be back before she woke. I knew that Jasper had kept her out late, having heard her come in. Even though she'd tried to be quiet, being a light sleeper, I'd heard the creaking of the second step. That tell-tale sound had saved me from numerous practical jokes over the years.

I added a postscript to tell her to go to the kitchen and help herself to breakfast if she awoke before I returned.

The brisk air helped me to clear the fog. I was a wreck and I knew it. Carlie had charmed everyone. My dad and mom had come to my rooms as soon as she left with Jasper, Emmett, and the kids. I'd originally thought to go with her, but then she'd surprised me by telling me it was okay not to.

"It'll give me some time to meet my Uncles, and you need to sleep anyway."

She was being polite, but I realized she just wanted some time away with the less threatening members of the family. As my feet pounded the pavement, I thought back to what had happened when my parents came to join me.

~SOMP~

_"Edward, I can't stand it. We have to speak with Bella." My mom was doing her best to keep from crying. "She has done an amazing job raising Carlie, and she needs to know how truly sorry we are. I hope she will forgive us. I couldn't stand it if she doesn't, but I just don't know…if the shoe was on the other foot, what would we do? It's not going to be enough to just earn her forgiveness; I want her back, Edward."_

_"Mom, you never wanted to let her go."_

_My father had reached over to hold her hand then._

_"But we were cruel, Edward. There is no excuse, no matter how hurt we felt at the time. I can't forgive myself. The only explanation I can give is the horror we'd just gone through with that awful woman. But I never should have believed Bella capable of that level of deceit, even for the short time I did."_

_"Mom, I didn't allow you to feel anything different. You were too busy attempting to save my life, and I made it impossible for you to do more."_

~SOMP~

I'd tried to reason with her, but I could see that she was not convinced. She'd always felt she should have ignored my wishes and gone behind my back. My father felt the same way. How different our life would have been had they done that. Even though it had taken me a few years to sober up, my parents would have kept Bella safe…would have kept Carlie safe…and loved them both.

I started to feel the burn of my muscles, knowing that I was pushing myself. It felt good to feel the pain. It was very early, Sunday morning, and as such it was quiet, and I met little traffic on the way. Running by the entrance of their street, I had to restrain myself not to turn down it, certain Jacob would notice me, and I wasn't ready to take him back on again. I needed to be nice to him, to talk to him, not beat the crap out of him again and receive an equally vicious payback.

Normally, my family would go to services on Sunday, but we'd forgone it this week wanting to spend time with Carlie. It was an important part of the family rituals though, so I'd have to ask her about her willingness to attend with us if she decided to keep visiting. I wondered if she went with Bella, Jacob, Leah, Seth, and Samantha.

As I turned back toward the house, I realized that today…today would be about her connecting with the women of the family, having spent yesterday afternoon with the kids, and the night with Jasper and Emmett.

I knew that my father would want time with her as well, but as always, he was the patient one. He would wait until she visited us next, and then he would find a way to bond with her. Carlisle had his own way of relating to each of his children and grandchildren…it was almost supernatural how he cared for us. I knew that of all the family, my father had chastised himself the most about what happened. After I'd sobered up, he'd spoken to me incessantly for years about finding her. He'd actually pleaded with me, but at the same time he'd understood in a strange way. He'd certainly shocked me with his perceptiveness one evening when he'd finally lost patience with me.

~SOMP~

_"You know why you don't want to find her, don't you?" he snapped._

_"Of course, Dad, she's gone on with her life. She lost everything within a short period of time, and what right do I have in reminding her of that just to relieve my conscience."_

_He sighed before saying, "Edward, don't attempt to snow me with that excuse."_

_I blew my breath out in a great gasp. "I called her horrible names, and humiliated her in front of our classmates. The gossip ran rampant, you know that. I made sure that everyone would think her a horrible person. I don't deserve her."_

_"Well at least you are getting a little more honest, but you aren't quite there yet, son."_

_"What?"_

_"You are so close to Alice that what happened to her was almost as excruciating for you as it was her, and it destroyed your belief in your value. I know it can't be because your mother and I didn't love you enough…" He smirked as I snorted – THAT was a major understatement. "What happened with Alice wasn't your fault, and we've done everything to convince you of that. But, if you aren't willing to work on the demons that haunt you, you are going to lose what little you haven't already. Bella seemed too good to be true, and then you fell in with Tanya, who you deemed more your 'equal,' much to our chagrin. The drugs, the sex, all the women…they were or are just a way to cover it all up. Edward, you just don't think you are worthy of being loved in that way, because you take on responsibility for things that were out of your control. You are responsible for how you treated Bella, we all are, but nothing that occurred before that. However, only you can come to that conclusion…and to the realization that you merit having Bella's love, if it even exists anymore. Maybe you gave up on Bella so quickly because you were really just afraid that one day, she would leave you."_

~SOMP~

He was entirely too perceptive.

Remembering the dream I'd had earlier…the memory I'd relived…I thought to that day. Bella and I had been enjoying a Saturday without the family around. We'd spent the day in my room in the Forks house and dreamed of our life together…what it would be like…what we would do with ourselves after high school. Never did we question that we would do it together. But if I were to be honest, I knew that even then, I wondered if I could truly hold on to the angel that graced my bed…and when she would see that I didn't deserve her regard.

So, it would seem I was up against two battles…one to make amends to Bella and win my love's affections again…and one to convince myself that in the event I was so graced that I deserved it.

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><p>Would LOVE to know what you think. I know some of you are going to hate hearing the sexual thoughts of "Jerkward," but just remember he was a 17 year old boy at the time…<p>

Jasper's thoughts on his little excursion with Carlie to reviewers!

"Even a small mouse has anger" is a Native American proverb that has been passed down from generation to generation. Its origins are unknown, but I can remember my grandparents saying similar things since I was little. I just couldn't help using it!


	15. Green Eyed Monster

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**To my peeps, Suzie55, LemonMartinis, and TwiloverSue. You guys have been my total inspiration to continue doing this thing, and a huge support these past weeks as hell broke loose! I must also acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me keep it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherriola. You my dear are a gift!**

**One request, when posting reviews please be respectful of other reviewers. I LOVE that some of you are so passionate about this story, but I'm a big girl and can take the hits because I'm putting my story out there. I really enjoy hearing your thoughts...all of them!**

**I apologize for not responding to reviews this week, my computer is down, and I'm posting utilizing someone else's. I figured you'd rather read the next chapter than wait for my reply. Please find the promised Jasper piece in the chapter I'll post just after this one. It will be the last outtake.**

**I promise to get back to personally responding next week, and apologize for just posting the chapter and outtake without replying, but my computer isn't being kind to me right now.**

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><p>Carlie POV<p>

We spent the day shopping, and it was amazing! It wasn't the money that was spent, although that in itself was entirely too much, it was having females around me that enjoyed doing it. Aunt Alice had wanted to take me to some fancy specialty shop she knew, but I was guessing my face must have given me away. The fact that we were in Nordstrom was bad enough. It wasn't that my mom and I didn't have money, because we did, but Aunt Leah would have been the only one to bring me to a place like this, and she was usually just so busy that I made due with much more middle of the road choices. Shopping was a pleasure, no matter where you did it.

Unfortunately, my mom was a hopeless case when it came to that…and I made the mistake of mentioning it as well while we were in Nordstrom. I saw how they froze and how they soaked up any little bit of information I gave out regarding her. They were doing well, really, not prying, but I played with my observation throughout the day to see if I'd been right. Each time I said anything about her, no matter how miniscule, it was as if I could see them consciously noting the tidbits and filing them away for future discussion and use.

My average existence had seriously become complicated. No greater example of that existed than the fact that I felt the need to constantly defend my own father. Women tripped over themselves to help us…him. Aunt Alice, Aunt Rosalie, and Esme all took it in stride.

"Is it always like this?" I hissed out the third time I had to literally step between he and a female salesperson who was determined to talk to him about silk sheets.

Rosalie was standing the closest to me, and she looked up to see what I was talking about. Noting the leggy salesperson cozing up to my dad, she snorted. "Yeah, pretty much." She looked over to me then and squared her shoulders as if she was preparing for war. "Women fall all over him. Always have. For the most part, he's polite, reserved, and then just ignores them completely."

"That isn't what I've seen." The words tumbled out of my mouth so quickly that I couldn't contain them. I also couldn't keep the bitterness from eeking into my statement.

She moved a little closer so that what she said remained between us. Capturing my suddenly shy gaze she nodded softly. "I can only imagine what you think. The papers hound him for any new image. When they find out about you, they are going to have a field day." The thought floored me…I hadn't even considered it. "I won't defend him entirely. Emmett wants to strangle him because he refuses to form a relationship with anyone. He has dated or _seen_, whatever you want to call it, some very nice women. He treats them…." she struggled for the word "…well. I've had several come to me crying when it was over, not because of the way he treated them…or any promises…because he has never made any. It is because they wanted more, and he is incapable of giving it to them." She stopped and then began again. "I don't justify what he's done and the fact it has been such a public spectacle."

I could tell she was attempting to be polite in how she talked about my father's escapades.

She gazed at my face a little while before saying, "I wasn't around when he and your mother were together. Emmett and I had just started dating, and I visited the family in the year that followed. He…" she nodded to my father "…is a different man now. The man that I think grew out of the boy that loved your mother."

She waited to see my reaction. "He told me that he still loves her," I admitted to Rosalie. "That he never stopped."

She nodded solemnly. "It's true. He just did everything he could to bury those feelings for years. When I initially met the family, I honestly thought I would be attending a funeral those first few years. He was a mess. I remember just thinking 'what a waste.' I certainly didn't understand, but over the years I've grown to. He made the biggest mistake of his life…they all did. And whether or not you want to hear this now, I'll tell you that they have suffered immensely. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to include you in our family, and you need to know that when the Cullens set their mind to something only Heaven stands in the way."

Seeing my confused look she went further. "They want your mother back. They want the opportunity with her as well to explain, but more importantly, to be able to build a new relationship with her after their amends. No one more so than the man you need to rescue right now." She nodded his way, and I saw that the leggy blond had become even more serious in her pursuit, all but laying up against him.

"Aunt Rosalie, tell them I want the pale pink sheets to match my quilt for the house and the purple comforter set for the condo, please." She grinned seeing the determined look come across my face.

"Certainly," was her pleased answer as I began to quickly make my way over toward Edward.

"Father…" I saw his eyes flare at my use of the term and the blonde's hopes crash as she jerked away from him. She quickly began looking toward my two aunts and grandmother to determine if my "Mother" was around. Of course her gaze would settle on perfect Rosalie as the possibility. "…Aunt Rosalie and I decided on the bedding for home; I think we are ready to go."

"Very well, let's go take care of this." He nodded politely to the salesperson, before putting his hand to the small of my back and following me toward where I saw Alice and Esme discussing curtains.

I'd killed them when I indicated that I refused to have the items "custom made." I knew that what I was buying would only hold them off so long, and I saw the flash of wariness when I insisted on paying, again. I was quite certain that they'd be on me to let them have a designer create my space until they won. Maybe a good compromise would be to see if Esme would just make the curtains and other decorations…considering her skill at sewing the quilt. That, I would feel comfortable with.

After I wrapped up my purchases, Esme…Meme…damnit….said, "Carlie, what would you like to eat before we return you home?"

I knew they were dying to ask whether or not my mom would be there, but wouldn't for fear of overstepping the imaginary boundaries that had been drawn in the sand. It would seem that I would have to talk about her one way or the other.

"Let me call Mama first. We kinda have this unspoken rule. We always make a big deal about Sunday evening dinners…it's a tradition for us." I saw their ears proverbially perk up.

I hit the send button as Alice suddenly became infatuated with my purchases, almost clinging to my side in a bad attempt to disguise the fact she wanted to hear our conversation.

"Baby…where are you?" she giggled into the phone. Giggled?

"Um…" I was a little thrown off "…we were just about to head toward the house. Meme…" I heard the silence then on the other end when I used that word and grimaced. I hadn't had time to talk to her about the changes over the weekend. "Um…Esme…" I caught my father's quick glance at my correction – man I was between the proverbial rock and hard place. "She wanted to know where I would like to eat. I explained that we have dinner together. Do you want me to just get take out and bring it home?" Just the suggestion was a sacrilege, but I was going to at least make it.

"No. No, I'm cooking right now."

"You're already home!" I huffed out.

"Yeah, I um…caught a ride from someone who had to come into town early. He is about to leave in a little while."

I didn't think before I blurted out the next word… "He?"

My father's eyes definitely jerked to me at that, and I saw him uncharacteristically stumble.

"Um…yeah. There is something I need to talk with you about, something exciting…" She let the words drop off. "But we can talk later. Who is with you?"

"Alice, Rosalie, Esme, and…Edward."

The moment of silence was telling, but then I almost dropped my phone at her next words. "They are more than welcome to eat with us. You know I always do too much. I made lasagna."

My mouth watered just to think about my mom's homemade lasagna. But my brain was misfiring at her invitation. OK! Something was up, and I was determined to figure it out.

"Um…mama just invited you all to dinner," I rasped out. The flare of anticipation that crossed my father's face was unmistakable.

"Can we bring anything?" Esme quickly offered. I knew she was going to capitalize on the opportunity before Mama changed her mind.

"Can we stop and pick something up?" I murmured into the phone.

"Hmm…maybe dessert? I didn't have time to make anything." I heard what sounded like a suspicious smack and then a very male sounding grunt in the background. WHAT?

"Dessert," I parroted back to the four individuals gazing at me in a longing manner, attempting to calm my racing mind.

Alice's grin was a bright as the sun. "Most definitely. In fact, I know just where to go."

"Okay, we have it covered," I told her in a shaky voice, before hanging up.

My father carried all the packages without complaint, and we made our way to the covered parking.

"Where to Ali?" he asked as soon as we were strapped into the car.

We were using Carlisle's car for the space, and I could smell his distinct cologne along with the smell of the leather of the Mercedes' seat. It was very comforting, considering my racing mind.

"Elise's," my hyper aunt replied.

~~SOMP~~

"I think this will go perfectly with dinner," Alice chirped about the raspberry cheesecake she'd decided on.

I'd never heard such a rousing debate as the one I'd witnessed in the upscale bakery…all over a dessert. In the end, Alice had gone back to her first choice. My groan had mimicked my father's considering we'd gone through at least ten choices before she announced her selection.

"ANTHONY! OVER HERE!" I heard a voice scream as I stepped out the door with him.

I felt his hand clench at my back, but I instinctually looked toward the voice. I'd been laughing at Aunt Alice's neurotic description of the raspberry glaze and its perfection, so when the flash occurred, it took me a moment to realize my picture had just been taken.

Edward leaned in to say softly to me, "Go with Mom, Carlie. I'll take care of this."

His voice was something I hadn't heard before…icy. The camera man took another picture, and I heard my father growl softly.

"C'mon Carlie," Alice said quickly, and it almost felt like my aunts and grandmother surrounded me like a walking shield.

As soon as I was in the safety of the back seat, I turned to look out the window. Edward had followed the retreating man, but I saw him returning.

"He got away," he indicated as soon as he slid into the driver's seat. He was very angry, I could tell, but he remained poised.

"Edward, it'll be okay," Esme said, but traded a loaded look with him.

He huffed out his reply. I wondered what his reactions and her reply meant to me, sure I'd find out soon enough. Unfortunately, the happy go lucky tone in the car was ruined, and in true form, I decided to lighten the mood. "I hope they didn't get me with my mouth open like I'm collecting flies."

Rosalie snorted. "Yeah, I hate those shots."

Alice's tinkling laughter filled the car. "I live in fear that they are going to catch me at something like blowing my nose and Photoshop my finger into it or something."

Even my father broke out into laughter at that, but I could easily see his stress. I also couldn't miss that Esme laid her hand on his arm comforting him.

Traffic was light, so it didn't take long to cross town toward home. Shopping and photo opp aside, my thought returned to the unexpected giggling I heard from my mother and this "something exciting" she wanted to speak to me about.

So it would go without saying that my mouth was most definitely catching flies when we pulled into our driveway to see a strange car, my mother, and an unknown man. More precisely, at the fact that the unknown man's lips were pressed to my mother's forehead. Her face, when she turned toward the sound of the car was startled, and I realized she hadn't planned this…that much was clear. I also saw my father blanch.

What the?

The unknown man pulled from my mother and turned toward us, as Aunt Alice quickly made my father's side as we exited the car, slipping her arm through his. To restrain or support him, I didn't know. I caught his eyes, and he attempted to cover up the pain, but wasn't successful…at all. I'd seen girls and boys jealous before, but this was something far different…darker. It was jealousy laced with desperation and despair. I squirmed for him, but at the same time watched in fascination as he forcibly unclenched his jaw.

"Hello," the man said jovially. My mother stood at his side, her eyes round. "I'm Demetri Velathri," he said with a smile and then approached us, his hand held out in a friendly manner. It was hard not to smile back…his mood was so good natured and open, and I guessed he had no clue what he was walking into.

Esme took pity on him first. "Esme Cullen," she said with an almost successful smile.

"A pleasure," he murmured bowing slightly to kiss her knuckles. Like what? Who did that anymore?

He charmed both Rose and Alice during similar introductions before coming to stand before my father.

"You are Anthony?" he said without a trace of anger, bitterness, or resentment. It was a simple statement made from one man to the next.

"Yes." My father barely stumbled, before placing his hand out for the man to shake. Demetri acted as if he had not a care in the world.

Moving to step before me, he grinned. "And you are the infamous Carlie I hear about all the time?" He was charming…and way too handsome. "I'm Marcus and Didyme's son. My father and mother think you hung the moon. Of course, that's easy to see why."

I couldn't help smiling, even though it felt weirdly disloyal to the man standing silently by my side. I loved Uncle Marcus and Didyme. I'd heard all kinds of stories about the man before me. Okay, maybe the kiss to the forehead wasn't anything…they were a touchy feely family.

"It's nice to meet you all. I wished I could stay to enjoy the dinner Isabella put together, but I have a plane to catch," he said quickly. Moving back to where my mother stood, he quickly grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. "I'll call you," he said softly before getting into car.

Edward tensed again at the tone, and this time I realized that Aunt Alice was most definitely restraining him. How many times had Seth done the same thing to me, when I'd been about to explode?

My mother threw her hand up in a manner of goodbye in the direction of his retreating car, and then silence followed for a few moments before she shook herself. "I'm sorry, I didn't expect you so soon," she said quietly. "Forgive my manners, please come in."

With that, she turned around and walked quickly back into the house. To say the moment was awkward was beyond an understatement. I didn't know what to make of it all, and that must have shown on my face. Aunt Alice nudged my father, and it was if he'd woken from a stupor the way he shook his body as if pushing off sleep. He moved to the trunk and retrieved my bag before stepping to my side. I almost wanted to run to Seth and tell him to hide me. Alice in Wonderland had nothing on me these past few weeks.

The answer to my prayer stood in the kitchen, my "Kiss the Cook" apron on.

"Hey, come help me with this," Seth called out to me as soon as I walked through the door, indicating the several large pans of lasagna in the oven.

I could have sworn I heard Aunt Alice mumble, "Oh, thank God," but I wasn't sure. However, I was thinking the same thing. The kiss to the forehead had to be friendship; because there was no way my mom would even hold hands with someone in front of Seth. I wasn't ready to deal with this at all.

My mom had turned at hearing us enter. "Carlie, have your father help you, and please put the extra eaves in the table. Maybe Alice could help Seth?" she suggested.

"Of course," my aunt answered, and had I not been watching my mother like a hawk, I would have missed the tremble in her hand when Alice spoke.

Esme moved to the kitchen, and I could see that she wanted to be useful as well. "Bella, what can I do," she said softly, her eyes shining brightly at my mother.

Another slight stumble, and this time I wasn't the only one that caught it. My father started toward her, but Esme held her hand up stopping him.

"I haven't set the table. The dishes are here," she indicated with a touch of her hand to the cabinet. "Tablecloth and napkins here," she pointed to one of the drawers. "Would you mind?"

Esme's smile was brilliant, as she realized that my mom was indeed attempting to make this as painless as possible. Even if it was far from what they wanted. "I would love to."

"Edward, come with me, and I'll show you where we store the additions to the table," I said, hoping to get him out of the mayhem. We heard Rose introduce herself to my mom as we walked down the hallway.

Edward POV

"So, Emmett got down on his knees and begged," Rose snorted. "Spaghetti noodles hung from his ears and his shirt had the big smear from where I'd flung the plate at him…but he was still the most gorgeous man I'd ever met…still is."

Bella, Carlie, and Seth all snorted in laughter as Rosalie talked about the story of how Emmett proposed after she'd exploded on him. I was still just trying to breathe from the tight band of muscles that had constricted my chest when I saw Demetri Velathri kissing Bella. Elemental rage had poured through me at seeing their embrace…while rational thought threw to me that I had no foundation for any of it. She wasn't my Bella…I kept trying to tell myself, but it wasn't working because the word YET kept tantalizing me.

I wanted to beg for a few minutes to talk with her, hoping that this new found civility between us would provide the opportunity, but I sensed I needed to live this one out on her terms. I wasn't even sure that I would be able to speak had she given me the chance…the green eyed monster's grip on my throat was so tight.

"I had to have the ring cleaned before I could even wear it," Rose continued. "To this day, when I smell marinara sauce I still grin."

"So Aunt Rose, you were mad at him because you thought he'd forgotten your anniversary."

Rosalie blushed adorably, "Yeah…he'd been acting like there wasn't anything special about the day, and I kept dropping hints. I never knew Emmett could be so devious…usually he is such an open book."

"Yeah," Bella laughed, but I saw her turn slightly away. Emmett had been her big teddy bear when we were teenagers, her staunchest defender through the years that followed, even though she had no way to know that.

"Carlie, will you pass me the lasagna," Seth asked politely, and I noticed the look that passed between them. He was drawing the attention away from Bella and her obvious distress.

I'd been impressed by the young man, when Bella asked him to pray, and he'd done so with a soft passion. He cared deeply for my daughter, I realized. I glanced sideways at Bella watching her spear a piece of lasagna she'd carefully cut. I could watch her all evening, all day, forever. It was fascinating to see how she maneuvered through her world now. She had a grace that she'd never possessed as a teenager, and she mesmerized me.

"The lasagna is without compare, Bella," I told her, meaning it immensely.

She'd always been a good cook, but it would seem that time had only refined her skills.

She hesitated before answering. "Thank you."

I'd gotten two syllables from her on the phone just days ago. I was making significant progress…this time I'd gotten two words. What would it be like to actually carry on a conversation with her…kiss her forehead like Demetri had? I almost bent the metal fork as my hands clenched around it. Had they kissed? Had they…

As if my speaking made her nervous, she jumped up moving toward the kitchen. "I'll make some coffee to go along with the cheesecake."

I went to stand to help, but Alice beat me to it. "I'll help," she said in a happy tone, and Bella promptly flinched.

I saw Alice's face fall slightly, but she squared off her shoulders and moved the few feet toward the large marble island.

"Alice, the dessert plates are in the cabinet to the right of the sink," Bella told her softly.

"Thanks, Bells," Alice responded, and Bella proceeded to drop the cup she was holding, the sound of it rattling throughout the kitchen.

"I'm sorry!" Alice gasped, realizing that she'd used the nickname she'd given my love when they were teenagers.

I could see out of the corner of my eyes that everyone at the table was as enthralled as me by what was occurring. My hand clenched on the table when I saw Bella's hand shake as she reached into the refrigerator. Pulling out a bag of fresh roasted beans, she turned back to the counter, and I watched as her hand skimmed across the surface until her fingertips reached the coffee machine. Visions of her hands skimming across the surface of my skin filled my mind, but then gut wrenching pain sunk into my stomach…wondering if perhaps Demetri had been a recipient of such caresses. How would the tactile stimulation feel to her, her senses heightened due to the lack of one? I almost groaned out loud imagining how it would feel for me.

Her words brought me back to the moment. "Forget it. We'll have to see each other once in awhile. It will do us no good to jump each time we make a mistake." Her words weren't harsh, nor her tone cold…but it came across that way anyway. Bella was setting Alice straight, telling her that this would not be a friendship.

Alice looked back to us, and it killed me to see the tears in her eyes. She then turned back to Bella and said in the softest voice I'd ever heard her use, "I'm really sorry."

"The coffee cups are in the cabinet above the dessert plates," Bella continued as if the incident hadn't happened.

I stood then and began collecting up the plates. Cullen rules…the person who cooked didn't clean. Seth stood as well, but I quickly motioned for him to sit back down. "You and Bella cooked, I clean."

His eyes jerked back between the table and the kitchen attempting to decide whether or not he was going to ignore me and go to protect her. My eyes must have given away more than I thought, because with a glare to warn me, he sat back down. God, he was so much like his father. Then I thanked God for the Black men…her protectors, even though I was quickly determining that she didn't need protection. She was a very capable and successful woman.

Moving into the kitchen, I decided to just enjoy the fact that I was within feet of her.

"Bella, your trash?" She didn't startle this time, having obviously heard me entering. To answer me, she pulled a drawer out, revealing a roll out trash receptacle. "Thank you," I persisted.

She wasn't ignoring me, but she certainly wasn't going to speak to me unless absolutely necessary.

"I'll put the cake on a plate," my mother said, attempting to lighten the moment.

I cleaned the dishes off, loading them into the dishwasher. By the time the coffee was ready, I had the pots soaking and would clean them after we finished. Stepping back into the eating area with the coffee pot in hand, I came to a quick stop. I'd sat by Carlie during dinner. In the after dinner moments, Seth had moved to her side, and now the only open spots were beside Bella and Rosalie. Seth quirked his eyebrow at me noticing my hesitancy, almost like he was challenging or assessing me. My mother had moved to the bookshelves, and I noticed her undivided interest in the moments portrayed there. Making the decision to be brave, I filled everyone's cups and sat down beside the woman who I loved more than life itself.

It was heaven and hell…to smell her, be near her, but be so far away.

Mom moved back to us, but I saw the tracks of the tears she'd wiped away.

"So…um…Carlie has a recital this Friday. I wasn't certain if you'd want to attend, but if you do…" Bella's words and offer washed over me, bathing me in memories.

"We would love to Bella," my mom said enthusiastically. "What time?"

"Friday at 7. It'll be in the school's performing arts center," Bella offered, her voice soft but steady.

"We can come pick you up," Rosalie suggested. She, of all people, had made tremendous strides with Bella over the impromptu dinner. I knew it was because Rose hadn't been there…when I'd destroyed her.

"No, that is fine, but thank you. Jake, Leah, Seth, and Samantha always attend, and we'll ride with them," she said before taking a bite of the cheesecake. "OH. MY. GOD!" she uttered after swallowing. The pleasure on her face was so reminiscent of the look she'd had in my bed that I was thrown off balance.

Alice's tinkling laughter filled the air at her declaration helping to center me. "Isn't it the best thing you've ever had!"

"Just about," Bella responded with a smile, and then she realized to whom she was talking. Her smile only fell just a little, but I noticed she fought valiantly to keep it up before giving up. A calm mask replaced the quick breakthrough.

It was a start.

~~SOMP~~

I took as long as I possibly could to wash and dry the pots, delaying the moment we would leave. Carlie appeared at my side, taking the towel to dry the final pots that I'd washed.

Bella and the rest had moved into the living area, and I heard Rosalie asking her questions about the pictures. She'd seen mom's look and was using the inroads she'd made to ask about the things that had captured Esme's attention.

"Edward, you're doing fine," my daughter whispered to me.

I chuckled softly. "I've always been good at cleaning dishes."

She snorted. "You know what I mean."

"Glad you think so."

"Friday, I'll make sure that we don't eat until afterward. What do you think about a late dinner?"

I turned quickly toward her in surprise. "Are you helping me?"

"Well, I'm not going to do anything too deceitful, but I also won't pass up any opportunities to throw the two of you together." She placed the towel on the countertop and turned to face me. "Look, I want us to at least get along. I'm going to do everything I can to make it comfortable between us. To be honest, I'm glad this weekend is over. I am tired, and I may be a kid, but I'm not a dumb kid. There are things that I'm not being told, and right now I can't tell you how I feel about it. I don't know about coming to visit again…" pain lanced through me "…so soon. I need some time to just figure it all out."

She suddenly flared at me. "I'll figure it out, you know."

My gut hurt at the thought of telling her my words…of telling her the details about Tanya. They were horrific and totally inappropriate for a girl of fourteen. They'd been inappropriate for a girl of seventeen. I looked at her helplessly. "I'll tell you whatever you want to know, but please understand that I will have to edit some of the parts. They weren't appropriate then…and certainly aren't appropriate to expound on now."

"In words that you feel comfortable with?" she narrowed her eyes at me, making a bargain.

I nodded softly. My daughter was battering my defenses, and little did she know they were almost devastated. I was still reeling from the jealousy eating my insides.

"Then, what you do with the opportunities I help arrange to obtain my goal is up to you. Just remember she is my Mama," she warned me.

My beautiful, conniving daughter…just like her mother, I didn't deserve her.

"I will do my utmost to not let you down."

As I pulled away from the house, my daughter waving goodbye to us from the door, I felt a measure of hope. For if there was one thing I was sure of it was this, Bella was up to something. And for her to be up to something meant that she felt threatened. And she wouldn't feel threatened if she didn't feel unsure about the situation we found ourselves in. And, the only reason she would be unsure was that she'd never gotten over me completely.

I was being delusional I realized…

But I couldn't help it…my mind still fixated on the vision of Demetri's lips on Bella's skin.

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><p><strong><em>So, I'm wondering what you think? Let me have it! I love the "What the heck" reviews as much as the "I love it" ones. <em>**

**_Reviews will get a sneak peek into Rosalie's thoughts._**

**_I'm content1april on twitter. Come join me, I'm still attempting to learn what to do. _**

**_Please visit my friends at the following stories. I PROMISE you won't be disappointed._**

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7352604/1/Cliche **In a place far, far away lived a beautiful…oh, forget it. Who are we really kidding here? This is Hell. This is high school. Welcome to Forks.

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2086771/TwiLoverSue:** Once Bitten and A Forbidden Love


	16. SOMP Outtakes Chapters 9 through 15

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.

I've had multiple requests for the Outtakes, so here they are. I won't post as they come out, but every so often will combine them for those that chose not to receive as a review reply.

**Please find the promised new Jasper outtake at the bottom. Please note that there is reference to rape and brutality in the chapter.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9 Outtake - Carlie POV <strong>

"Seth, it's bad," I said softly into the phone. "Real bad."

He remained quiet, knowing that I needed the moments to think.

"It was hard to hear what happened. I don't even know if I want to go see them tomorrow. Kinda wanted to come home tonight." I wanted to knock Edward over the head as well.

The sound of his deep breathing calmed me, and finally my curiosity won out. "Seth?"

"I'm here."

Now I wanted to choke Seth.

I huffed into the phone. "Wanna tell me what you think?"

"I think your mother and father were seventeen, Carlie."

"So that gives him the right to be a bastard?"

He chuckled into the phone and said quietly, "Don't let Daddy, Momma, or Aunt Bella hear you talking like that."

I couldn't help the slight twitch of my lips at his gentle warning.

"What I'm saying is that I can't imagine what he was thinking, what he went through. If someone hurt Samantha or you like that…" He left off, but I could hear the gruffness in his voice.

Seth would kill anyone who touched us, and if he thought in some way that he'd brought the problems to us…

"Seth, answer me this…how would you feel if you felt responsible for what occurred?"

He remained quiet for a long time before answering. "It would drive me crazy."

Crazy? Was that a good explanation for what occurred?

"I'm not sure I'd ever forgive myself if something I did caused you to get hurt, Carlie." It was hard to discredit what he was saying.

We talked for a few more minutes before he said, "Carlie, you'll figure it out, and I'll support you no matter what you choose. You need to think on it by yourself."

After saying goodnight, I closed down the phone and began to move toward the shower. A good hot one always helped me to de-stress. Scraping my fingers through my hair, I realized that I wanted to wash all the hatred, strife, and misunderstanding away as easily as the soap that ran down the drain.

I'd meet them tomorrow, assess them, and then determine where to go from there. Right now, my hopes for any reconciliation were pretty slim…I just couldn't understand how he'd believed it. If he'd made excuses, I would have been more likely to discredit him totally, but as it was, he hadn't. Had he seemed angry at anyone other than himself, it would have been easy to find him as a total loss, but he hadn't. Not one word had come from his mouth about anyone other than himself, even the woman that had been the cause of all the trouble.

For that was what this was all about…someone wanting what belonged to someone else.

Typical middle and high school drama…but this time, instead of swirling around Seth and me as we walked down the corridors, it had targeted me…and I was pissed.

~SOMP~

**Chapter 10 outtake - Marcus POV **

"Marcus, a penny for your thoughts."

Turning, I couldn't help but smile at the dark haired beauty walking toward me. Reaching out to grasp her hand, I pulled Didyme into my arms and then spun her toward the large plate glass windows that formed the back wall of our bedroom. Our houses all overlooked the ocean in some way, and my and Didyme's view was particularly stunning. The house sat on a rise, and as such, the dark waters of the Sound spread out as far as the eye could see. The moon shone brightly on the choppy water, and as I watched the waves sparkle in the moonlight, I couldn't help but rest my cheek on her head, rubbing my face into her fragrant hair.

"I was just thinking how lucky we are."

Aro, Caius, and I had come from humble origins, and as the result of much hard work and sacrifice, we'd been able to develop a reputable law firm. Aro had focused on criminal law, managing his legions of bloodthirsty sharks, and Caius had followed his heart to civil matters, enjoying the day to day drama of individuals fighting one another. For me, the chaos of the demolished relationships and dregs of society was too taxing…the destruction of the bonds between individuals too great for me to stomach. Business law…the ebb and flow of corporate mechanisms and finances had always intrigued me, and as such, I'd flourished in the field. But no matter the number of billion dollar mergers I'd accomplished, I still accounted the acquisition of Isabella Swan as one of my finest moments.

I clearly remembered the day I'd been rushing to another meeting and literally bumped into her, scattering her manuscript and small box to the winds. I'd felt so badly about what I'd done, that I'd personally taken the time to chase down the flying pages. Isabella had laughed at me, saying that she had it all stored electronically, and had several copies for the individuals she was meeting with…holding up one of the USBs that had scattered to prove it.

"_I'm just old fashioned and like to have a hard copy for anyone to review."_

It had taken me a moment to realize that she wasn't piecing the pages back together in order, and it was then I'd also saw her white cane. Instantly mortified at the clumsiness that had caused me to run into her…I'd been distracted talking to Didyme…and the fact that I'd probably ruined her presentation, I'd asked, "Who are you meeting with?"

"The editor of the book firm here." She'd pointed in the vicinity of building I'd just exited, before reaching down to her watch and pressing a button. An electronic voice had sounded out the time and she'd skimmed the concrete in front of her to find the cane. "I'm so sorry, Mr…" she'd left off.

"Marcus Velathri," I quickly added in a formal manner.

Her smile had all but bewitched me when she stood. "I'm sorry, Mr. Marcus Velathri…" she said it very properly, mocking my tone "…but I must hurry. I've been waiting on this appointment for months. This may be my big chance. Please excuse me," she indicated and after throwing me a friendly salute sailed toward the door of the building, barely sidestepping my driver and paralegal.

I'd chuckled at her spirit and then moved quickly toward the car. It was only when I slid into the back seat that I realized I still held one of the shiny silver USBs in my hand. Determined to visit the publishing firm to find out the young beauty's name the next morning, I'd put it in my pocket intent on returning it. That was until I found Didyme reading it on her expensive laptop later that night.

"_Who__is__this?__"_ she'd exclaimed, never once apologizing for going through my pockets or violating any privacy rules…there were no secrets between us.

What had happened from there was like a well-oiled machine. The publishing house valued my representation, and all I'd done, at Didyme's insistence, was request that they read the copy. Isabella's first child's book had been published on a very small scale until Penny, at my sly suggestion, had gotten a hold of it. Within a month of the recommendation, Random House had offered for Isabella and, after a hefty payout to the original company, had become her publisher.

Aro had been as quickly enamored of Isabella as I was and the rest was history. Her soft ways and gentle heart made her a victim of much good-natured ribaldry in our boisterous group, but she was considered as much a Velathri as if she'd been born into the family. I knew though that my wife and sister-in-laws wanted to make it legal.

My thoughts were brought back to the present by the lure of the soft body I cradled. Speaking of…

"Did you have any problems picking up Deme?"

She softly patted my hands where I had them crossed on her stomach.

"None. He and I had a good visit on the way here. I am so grateful he'll be returning back home. I don't rest comfortably knowing that he is so far away and by himself."

I was quite certain that he wasn't "by himself" most of the time. Demetri was a grown man, but in Didyme's eyes, he was still her little boy. Having met many of the women that clamored after my son, I was little worried about him having problems finding company, but I did experience disquiet about him being alone. The thought that Isabella may be the solution to my son's loneliness was not one that just the females in the family held.

"We picked up Felix, and I swear it was worse than when you, Caius, and Aro were young…the testosterone flowing was enough to make me cringe. "

The two were quite rowdy together, had been since they met in college.

"Let them have fun. At least here I won't have to go bail them out of jail," I mentioned, and chuckled as she laughed, remembering the altercations the two had gotten into. Felix's size made him a target for anyone wanting to make a name for themselves.

"How is Isabella?" she asked finally.

I grinned, having been wondering when she'd finally break and ask. "She's fine, and you would be happy to know that she has determined that Felix and Jane may be well suited."

Didyme spun in my arms then, her dark eyes wide in pleasure. "Truly?" Then she looked a little sheepish, knowing how she must have appeared. "Felix is a wonderful man…" she hedged "…but this means that possibly Deme might have a chance…"

"Didy!" I began to scold her, and then, she did the inevitable in an effort to distract me…she kissed me.

It was hours later before I returned to the thoughts that had swirled within me before my wife distracted me. In sleep, she cuddled further into my chest, our bare skin brushing against each other as I threw my arm around her waist drawing her closer. A light rain pattered at the glass, beating out a delicate song.

I wanted Isabella and Demetri's happiness more than anything, and if there was any chance it was together, I would move Heaven and Earth to solidify that bond. But somehow, I sensed that her relationship with Carlisle's son would have to be mended before she could determine whether or not her future actually included him. Fate only knew just who the dark headed temptress would choose, but I swore that no matter what, we'd be there to support her.

~SOMP~

**Chapter 11 Outtake - Felix POV**

To say that I intently watched Demetri interacting with Isabella would be minimizing the level of scrutiny I paid to them. Demetri had been my friend since college, and if there was one man to whom I would trust my life, he was it. Isabella had been my friend and the object of my pursuit for many years. Although, the relationship I coveted had never come to fruition, my feelings for her would not, could not die. It would seem that we were not to be, but it did not diminish the protective, nurturing feelings I had toward her. She would always hold a special place in my heart…while not the lover I'd hoped…perhaps more of a sister, which meant I would defend her with my life.

I grinned seeing her taking Demetri to task. If there was one I worried coming out of their "proposal" devastated, it was Demetri. I chuckled thinking back to his hesitant and choppy explanation.

"What are you laughing about?"

Turning, I couldn't help but grunt in satisfaction at the petite blond at my side. "The games people play," I told her before reaching down to grab her hand, placing a kiss to her knuckles before sliding her arm through mine.

Jane looked to where her cousin flirted with Isabella and grinned in a pleased manner. "Deme is tough. Perhaps he'll be the one to tame her," she proposed. "Either way, he'll be fine. He has been through much worse."

We both knew what she was referring to. Demetri had given his heart away only once…to be played. In this, Demetri and Isabella were finely matched. Demetri's love had died at the hands of the man she'd left him for…Isabella's love had died at his own.

I'd done my research on Anthony Cullen after realizing that he was the one to break her heart, to sire the beautiful child that charmed everyone. I was but a small player in the world of intrigue that surrounded the Velathris, but I knew that Aro would destroy him if he threatened Isabella's and Carlie's peace again. But, it didn't mean that Aro had to be the only one watching over them.

I was confused by the dichotomy I uncovered about him…the public persona did not fit the man that I'd discovered. One of the toughest ER nurses I'd ever encountered, one I respected immensely, had been an unexpected champion of Anthony, speaking of his unfailing generosity and patience.

"_If__one__of__those__women__he__dates__would__just__make__him__really__smile,__it__would__be__worth__all__the__hype.__As__it__is,__he__seems__to__grow__sadder__each__day,__"_ she'd snarled out at my questions.

She'd chased me down across the ER to obtain my signature on an X-ray order. Knowing that she'd worked in one of their hospitals, I'd taken the chance to ask if she'd ever met him and her opinion.

I didn't want to accept anything positive about him…believing it didn't matter if he was the freaking Pope in my opinion, it only mattered how he'd treated her…which was badly.

Turning my thoughts back to the beauty by my side, a woman who intrigued me as very few had, I smiled alluringly down at her. "You Velathris are a tough lot. How much trouble are _**you**_ going to give me before you finally put me out of my misery and agree to a date? I'm beginning to develop an inferiority complex with all the women that have been turning me down lately."

She lifted her delicate eyebrows, deviltry sparkling in her eyes. Then she took the time to leisurely run her eyes down to my feet and then slowly up me. It was probably one of the most erotic things I'd ever experienced and there was no doubt when she reached certain areas just how much I appreciated her perusal.

"I highly doubt that you could ever feel inferior," she said huskily, a delicate blush fanning across her cheeks.

It was my turn to raise my eyebrow in a challenging manner. "Care to find out?"

"Perhaps in time," she replied impishly before, linking her fingers with mine and squeezing softly, belying her cocky words.

"Jane, you might as well give in. You're mine…" I knew, as I said the words, that nothing had ever been truer.

~SOMP~

**Chapter 13 Outtake - Jasper POV**

Carlie mingled with Ross, Emmy, Ali, and Jas as if she'd always been a part of the family, holding them up to see through the telescope and pointing out various constellations. She was extremely bright, shockingly so, really. She was also a wolf in sheep's clothing, hiding behind her beautiful face and shy smiles while she was assessing us as much as I was assessing her. Emmett had already won her over…but she was being cautious with me. Smart girl…she had good instincts. She'd intuitively trusted Edward earlier in the day, seeking him out, and resting by him even when she had all the evidence to the contrary. Even I couldn't quite fully accredit the stories of my brother-in-law and what he'd done in a rebellious, stupid juvenile act…how he'd run from all Carlisle and Esme had instilled in him. It was difficult for me to equate what I knew of him, with what I'd learned about from back then.

Edward Cullen wasn't a saint, but what he was was a good man. Sure he had hang ups, but I wasn't as hard on Edward about the women, because, well hell, I certainly didn't want my past being brought into the light. He'd given up the drugs and limited alcohol to social levels, but, Edward still intentionally lived his sins out in the public, beating himself up and inviting criticism. Where Emmett wanted to strangle him for the women, I wanted to throttle him for the public flagellation. In my opinion, now that he had access to Bella, he needed to stop what he'd "deemed" appropriate for his sins and start groveling where it was more proper…to her.

But while he was choosing to battle his demons in public, I'd kept mine very private. Colonel Breedlove had been my trial by fire…a General now, he was something to behold, all smiles with steel beneath them. He'd taken a scraggly boy from Texas and made me into a man, but it'd been hell while he did it.

"What you do on my time is my business. What you do on yours is yours…unless it causes the Air Force embarrassment. Keep it covered and don't drive drunk."

Simple rules from a complicated and deep man, but they'd kept me alive. "Keep it covered," even when I'd been drunk, had kept me from catching a multitude of diseases I was sure. "Don't drive drunk" had landed me an ass chewing when I'd actually had the balls to call him to come rescue me once. But, it had definitely saved my life when my fellow cadets had risked it. Their fresh faced pictures were all that were left to remind others of the wisdom of our elders. I mentally snorted about calling the General an elder. He could probably still kick my butt into the dirt and calmly drink a beer afterward. The control he'd instilled in me had saved me in many ways.

As I heard Jas giggle, my heart warmed, and I saw Carlie pull her to her hip and point upwards, showing her the Big Dipper.

Back to the wolf in sheep's clothing…

I'd been extremely pleased when she'd decided to come and even more so when she'd come without Edward, wanting to observe her without his interference. That was an unfair statement. He wouldn't interfere really, just that his presence would be a mitigating factor. If there was one thing I'd learned from the specialized training I'd received…it was to eliminate as many mitigating factors as possible when you were observing your adversary for the first time. Then after your initial assessment, you could watch how the environment around them caused the milieu to change or warp and how they adapted to it.

For now, Carlie could be perceived as my enemy because of what she could do to Alice. My wife was no angel, having deep scars of her own, but if I knew the true merit of anyone's heart, it was her's. The memory of pushing Bella haunted her, but the memory of not helping her when she fell, tortured Alice. It had long before Alice knew of Carlie, knew of what had rested within her best friend. It would be easy to judge Alice, but few had survived the horror of being savagely taken, sliced open alive, or having endured the torture that caused her to scream out in her nightmares. Few had to face those fears every two years as their tormentor repeatedly applied for parole, not for the purpose of actually acquiring such, but solely so that he could taunt the two individuals that he'd destroyed…it was Alice and Edward against the maniacal beast. If there was any injustice in this world, it was that he was allowed to stay in the room as they recounted over and over how what he'd done had colored their existence…how it had destroyed them.

My blood had literally run cold the first time I attended with them, when Emmett played the 911 tape and I heard the sobbing voice of my brother-in-law as he begged the operator to hurry and send the ambulance, begged my wife to hang on, and begged God to save her. Barely a man, Edward's voice couldn't have portrayed his anguish any clearer.

"There's blood everywhere…please hurry! Alice! Don't close your eyes, look at me!" he'd screamed. "Shit!"

Then the phone hit the wood floor, and the only discernible things were sounds in the background. The operator had called out to him to come back on the line, but all you could hear was muffled noises. Later, it was revealed that he'd dropped the phone to do CPR as she faded, crying because every time he pumped her heart, blood streamed out of the gashes in her stomach. The paramedics had found the door open wide, from where the monster had run when Edward walked in. He'd chosen to stay with Alice instead of chasing his "friend," but in the end, Edward's testimony had been what sent the boy to prison. The monster hated Edward with a passion, but probably no more than Edward hated him and himself.

It would have been difficult for me to imagine what Edward looked like the day the paramedics had to drag him off Alice…forcibly removing his hands from her breastbone as he continued to pump the quickly draining blood supply through her…had I not seen the casualties of war. I'd never had to face the consequences of the ones I'd killed. My kills had been faceless, as the elite team I was a part of created pathways to those we were sent after…our boys who'd suffered casualties all in the name of a war that few even thought of anymore. But, I'd seen the soulless looks on the faces of those that had watched others die. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder they called it…such a fancy name. At least now they were recognizing the illness; whereas, in the past soldiers were just thought insane. It was actually personally painful to me to see them in their torture…to feel it, to see them hovering over their comrades as Edward must have Alice or holding the hands of the dead. I had no doubt that I would have fared worse than Edward, than the men I'd rescued.

NO…it was all too easy for me to imagine Edward as he must have appeared to the paramedics. Even more painful, to know what Alice must have looked like lying on the floor in a puddle of her own blood…raped and mutilated.

"Look Carlie," Ross said boisterously, "The Milky Way!"

Turning, I saw that she followed his finger as he pointed out the pathway of the stars. Grinning, she looked down to him. "My Grandfather Billy says that that is the pathway of the departed souls." At his owl-like eyes she continued, "Legends tell that our souls come down to us through the Milky Way and when we leave this world we do so through it again."

"Weally!" Emmy gasped out from Carlie's side, massacring her "R" because of her two missing front teeth.

"Uh-huh," Carlie grinned. "Personally, I like the Cherokee Legend as well. It holds that a huge dog or wolf was stealing cornmeal from the tribe, and that they banded together to scare the animal away. One night they waited on the beast and while it was eating they began to bang pots and sticks together. The animal leapt into the sky to escape, letting the cornmeal fall from his mouth as he crossed which formed the Milky Way."

I had to stifle my laughter seeing the confusion in Alistair's face. "That seems silly in comparison to souls and dying," he said in his serious manner. He was at the age that ghosts, goblins, and other things that go bump in the night infatuated him.

Carlie reached down and tousled his hair. "Well, I'm preferential to it because Quileute legends hold that their tribe descended from wolves, so any other legends that talk about them intrigue me."

A wolf in human's clothing…so I'd been right in my assessment.

"Maybe it was a werewolf!" Ross exclaimed, clearly enthralled with the idea, and Alistair's eyes lit at that possibility.

"Maybe…" Carlie grinned.

"Vampires are cooler," Emmett antagonized them, having been the main culprit in encouraging them in their supernatural fascination. He'd arranged a late night showing of some old Dracula and Wolfman movies for the boys, and he and I'd suffered the cold shoulders from our wives and extra bed company for weeks as the boys refused to sleep alone.

"Emmett!" I warned, remembering the amount of trouble we'd gotten into with that one. I wasn't generally afraid of much, but my wife did scare me.

"Just saying!" he grunted, grinning widely.

"Bela Lugosi was hands down the best Dracula," Carlie murmured.

"Oh hell…" Emmett griped, storming away much to my delight.

Carlie looked to me in question. "He likes Gary Oldman best, but Lugosi is my favorite as well."

"Ah…" she murmured, giggling in Emmett's direction.

The rest of the night went much quieter as the babies grew tired and one by one began falling asleep. Carlie grew quiet…reflective, and it was then I saw Edward in her. Like him, she was a caretaker and the thought took me back to when I'd met him.

I'd come to Seattle to visit an old friend, and as we'd always done the night started at several bars. Before it was through, my friend had stepped in on a brewing storm…taking up for a woman whose boyfriend had turned into a prick. It had been a fair fight until a gun appeared. It was the illustrious Doctor Cullen that saved Peter's life. Afterward, the young doctor had come by daily to check on the veteran hero, and it was during one of those visits that the love of my life appeared. Alice had stopped by the hospital to have lunch with her brother and found him visiting Peter and I in the small patio area. I'd been struck dumb seeing her and the rest had been history. Having been between jobs and places, I'd set roots down immediately and began my campaign.

Of course, our courtship had been anything but easy. She'd been afraid of me…afraid of any man. I'd had no idea. It had taken me months to get her to agree to a date, weeks to get her to hold my hand, and the night I'd attempted to kiss her… Needless to say, it had been a fiasco. It was then I'd found out what happened. Rage had caused me to see red, and I'd approached my morose friend to find out exactly what had occurred. Seeing the need to know in my face, Edward had given it to me straight. Nausea had won out causing me to disgrace myself. The memory of when I'd finally convinced her to show me the scars on her stomach was one of the most anguishing in my life, not because of what I'd seen, but because of the look of total dread on her face. She'd watched me with great tears rolling down her face, waiting for me to turn from her.

I still remembered her words. "I'm a monster."

The words had slipped out without me knowing it. "A frighteningly beautiful monster. My monster."

I'd waited for her to turn from me then, but somehow because I hadn't minimized what she'd been through or acted as if the ravaged skin on her stomach didn't exist, it had gotten through. Her brilliant smile and sniff had been my answer before she laid her head on my chest and cried for hours.

The day we'd walked into her parent's house holding hands had been momentous. Esme and Carlisle had all but cried, Emmett had smiled broadly, but all Edward had done was looked at our hands and nodded softly in a strange sort of satisfied acceptance.

I remembered his words the night before our wedding. "Love her with all your heart, Jasper. That is all I ask."

It had been several years later before I understood the full import of his request. The day that Bella's story had come to full light. And now…looking to Carlie…now we were faced with the true nature of what had occurred. The loss of Bella from the family and Carlie's childhood. How would Edward recover, particularly if Isabella Swan didn't given him the opportunity to redeem himself? The thought scared me.

I wondered what he'd told Carlie, just how blunt he'd been.

I didn't know Bella, other than the stories I'd heard from the family and what Alice had admitted to me in the darkness of night. What I did know was that Edward loved her beyond what most would consider rational. I was no mind reader or empath, but I knew my brother-in-law, and he already loved his child beyond comprehension as well.

And although Edward had many mistakes, I knew something more important…contrary to what was the common perception of him…he'd made many more positive decisions than negative ones…as most humans did. He'd saved Alice and Peter, along with countless others, he did so without the need to be recognized or be paid…often taking on the bills himself, and he continued to attempt to make amends, even if it was in the most erroneous or idiotic of ways. An emotional recluse…Emoward as we liked to tease him…I wondered if even Bella would be able to save him. For sure, I knew I needed her to listen to Alice. Whether or not she would forgive my wife was up to her, although I was going to do my best to insure that she did.

If nothing else, I would leave it to Dr. Paschal to help Edward. I wasn't supposed to know and couldn't believe that he'd kept it a secret from us, but I'd been covertly informed that my brother-in-law had finally started therapy and had been going for months…before even Carlie crossed our door. If that wasn't a sign of Providence smiling down on us, I didn't know what was. My way of reckoning the knowledge was that the big guy upstairs had been unwilling to impart peace until the recipient was ready…how else was I able to explain that a missing piece…pieces, I amended…were being dangled in front of our hands at this very moment.

For it wasn't because Edward was a good person, or that he realized the mistake he'd made and wanted to make it right, or even that he needed to make amends that I wanted him to receive absolution from Bella and his daughter…it was because if he did so, evil would lose a little of its hold on us. Knowing that Hell was about to open up again and swallow the Cullens whole, in the disguise of the upcoming parole board meeting, it would be nice for Edward and Alice to earn some peace and maybe a little of the happiness and love that Bella Swan radiated. It might prove a shield against that which could destroy them and us all.

"Uncle Jasper, I can carry Jasmine if you want so that you and Uncle Emmett can take the boys and Emmy," she grinned, cuddling my daughter in her arms.

So wolf in sheep's clothing, wolf in human's clothing, or just plain teenager attempting to muddle through the mess her father and aunt had made…Carlie was going to become my "best friend," my kindred spirit. Because she was the key…and honestly, I just kinda liked her…a lot.

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><p><strong>Thoughts?<strong>


	17. Deceit

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**To my peeps, Suzie55, LemonMartinis, and TwiloverSue. You guys have been my total inspiration to continue doing this thing. I owe you more than I can say. I must also acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me in keeping it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherriola. **

**I've had several questions that I'd like to answer. After this chapter, things will begin to pick up quickly. I know it seems like I've taken forever, but I had to get everyone's perspectives outlined so that the story would begin to make sense! Yes, you'll see Tanya, but I have her entrance planned at a specific time, so I hope you'll be patient. No, Aro is a good guy in this fic, and as you'll see, very protective of Bella. And…the first part of the Edward/Bella showdown will be in the next chapter! Lastly, Hope this chapter will answer some of the questions that have come up about why Bella would actually invite them over. **

**One request, when posting reviews please be respectful of other reviewers. I LOVE that some of you are so passionate about this story, but I'm a big girl and can take the hits because I'm putting my story out there. I really enjoy hearing your thoughts...all of them! But…it pains me when I find out that others have been contacted for their opinions. **

**Lastly, I apologize for not sending personal messages when I responded to reviews. My Rose got a little out of hand! SO sorry! **

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><p>Bella POV<p>

I excused myself from the kitchen, just before I knew they would leave, having "accidentally" spilled some coffee on my shirt. My "accident" almost caused me a burn, as I hadn't realized that the coffee had still been so hot when I clandestinely poured it on me. I didn't want to have to be around to say goodbye – that would be more than I could handle this day.

I was a wreck, having barely hung on to sanity through the range of emotions I'd felt…anger…rage…sadness…and yes, even longing. I couldn't hide that from myself, and if there was anything I'd learned over the years, it was to be honest with myself.

Knowing I would have to face them at some time or another, I'd called Seth over to be with me for encouragement. It was better to get it out of the way. What I hadn't expected was for them to show up before Demetri left. I'd wanted to speak with Carlie first, to tell her of my interest in him, before she saw us together. It wasn't fair that she'd pulled up when he was saying goodbye. The little imp, he would of course steal a kiss, telling me that it wasn't half as good as the taste of my lips, but he would make due until he could talk me into his little "proposal."

Friends with benefits…HA!

It _was_ a tempting proposal. One that my body wouldn't let me deny without a good argument. But I needed to talk with Carlie first, it was only fair. Being a mother meant putting your needs sometimes second, and speaking with Carlie was the rational thing to do.

I heard the murmur of their voices saying goodbye and counted to at least ten after the silence settled in the house. I opened the door only to startle when Carlie said "mom" directly in front of me.

"Dang it!" I shouted out. "You scared the beejezus out of me."

"Why did you avoid saying goodbye to them?" she asked quietly.

I took a deep breath and slowly let it expel.

"I'll get you a cup of coffee if you'll sit down with me to talk. And this time, you don't have to dump it on yourself to get away…you can just leave and go to your room."

My daughter was entirely too smart and perceptive. When I felt her sit on the couch beside me, I held out my hand for the cup of courage. "Let me ask questions first, and then you can interrogate all you want?" I asked.

"'kay," she responded.

"Did you have a good time?" I asked the question that was killing me.

"Yes and no," she answered. "We spent the night at Edward's condo the first night, then we went to the houses." She stopped for a few moments.

"Go ahead; you know we don't have secrets between us." As soon as I said the words, I realized how untrue they were. I'd kept the biggest secret…one that had caused her pain, even though I'd only ever strived to keep her from exactly that.

"Mama, he told me everything. He told me how he treated you, and the things he said. He admitted to it all."

A deep pain tore through my chest. All I could think was "please tell me that he didn't tell her everything."

"He didn't tell me what he specifically said, just that what he said was horrible…and that he knew that he'd made the biggest mistake of his life." She amended.

Relief was my first reaction, then disbelief. He'd lied to her. He'd been too tied up in his new girlfriend to give me any consideration.

"How do you feel about what he told you?" I asked, taking a large swig of the coffee, burning my tongue slightly on the bitter brew. "Be the better person, Bella," my conscience screamed out.

"I believed him," she replied simply, and I knew she was watching my face.

Well, hell.

"Did you know that he hired someone to look for you?"

Shit. "Yes. Well, at least I found out when I met with them about the terms of your visitation with him and his family." I was still unclear of his or their motivations and had to admit to a certain curiosity.

She remained quiet for a few more moments. "They were all really nice, while I was there."

"Good. And do you want to go back?"

"I would like to, but I won't do it if it is going to hurt you."

Pain lashed through me, but I would never let her know it. She would get them, when I hadn't. But I would never hold that against her, because she was the best and brightest of the two of us. She deserved for them to make reparations for what they'd done.

"I want you to visit them, but I will leave the decision to you." She gasped hearing my words. "Carlie, he is your father. They are your blood. You need to know them, and they you. I had some time to think while I visited with Aro and Sulpicia. There is a part of me that wished you'd never met them. But if I am being honest, a bigger part of me is glad that you have. Allow them to get to know you; I doubt you will come to regret it." I'd have Aro take them out if she did. He'd do that for me.

She paused. "Mama, I think you need to speak with Edward. Just give him the chance to tell you his side."

I could barely stay in the room with him, for the time I had this evening. The sound of his voice the few times he'd spoken, the smell of him from across the room and then when he'd sat beside me…the smell of the Freesias he'd left…had burned me like acid. One of us wouldn't survive a "talk." But she didn't need to know that. I was going to do everything I could to be cordial to the Cullens, in hopes that the last years of the time my baby would live with me would be pleasant. I was not going to be the one to drive a wedge between us. The decision had come to me as I sat beside Aro and listened to him manage his large brood of family members. Carlie should have all her family, the Blacks, the Velathris…the Cullens.

"Carlie…let me ask a question. How will it affect you if I don't?"

She started to say something, but then remained quiet, so I continued.

"I promise to be as nice as I was tonight. Don't you think we were fairly successful at being pleasant with each other? I know it was awkward at moments, but time will make it better, I promise. We won't have to be together often, and I will attempt to make it better as we work through this. There really is no reason for him and me to be forced to speak." I'd tried to be hopeful and positive, and I'd thought I'd done a pretty good job of it until the silence met me.

"Carlie?"

"I just want you to give them an opportunity to speak with you, that's all. If afterward you decide that you don't want to have anything to do with them, I'll understand."

I gasped in pain from the earnest sound to her voice. "You are asking a lot of me," I admitted, my voice breaking. Damn it!

"I know," she sobbed.

"Is it that important to you?" I was still attempting to find any way to get out of it.

"Yes."

I couldn't control the angry trembling of my hands, and it wasn't right that she actually reached out to steady them. "I just don't know, Carlie, if I'm ready for that, but I will think about it."

"Ok," she said softly.

I knew I needed to broach the subject of Demetri with her. She was the one I worried about…in this craziness we'd decided on, and I'd be lying to her in a way. We would be dating, but just not with the likely purpose of finding love or "forever," but for the mere benefit of companionship and, for me …protection. She wanted me to find love and forever and had for a long time. How did you tell your child that those just weren't in the cards? Maybe if she thought I'd found it though…she would be happy enough to focus on herself. It was a fine game of deceit we'd planned; one that I hoped did not come back around to slap me in the face with the amazing young woman in front of me.

I also needed to get her off of the possibility of me becoming friendly with the Cullens. He had done a good job it seemed, keeping his real feelings about me from her. I was unwillingly grateful to him for that. Why he felt the need to talk, I would never know, but the more delays I could find, the more likely that Carlie would lose the need for it to happen.

"Um…Baby, you know the exciting stuff I needed to talk to you about?"

"You've signed another book deal!" she squealed, figuring my news would be the norm.

I laughed out loud at her enthusiasm. "No, not that." Here goes… "I've met someone."

The reaction I expected didn't occur.

"Met someone?" she squeaked out.

"Yes, as in met someone I am interested in," I went further, suddenly confused about why she would be so dense about it. "Demetri…" I went on to tell her through the silence about what had occurred between Felix and me and that I'd met his friend and Marcus' and Didyme's son. She remained uncharacteristically quiet through my excited descriptions of the weekend.

"Demetri won't be moving to town for another month or so, but he'll be in almost every weekend getting everything arranged for the transfer here. I've agreed to see him, and honestly I'm excited about the possibility. But, I needed to know what you think about it," I finished off hopefully.

I didn't quite know what I expected, but what did wouldn't have been my guess.

"Excuse me," she said hoarsely, and I heard her running down the hallway and slamming her door.

I remained frozen, lost in the chaos of my daughter's reaction. What had just happened? I forced myself to move and ran down the hallway to her door. "Carlie? Baby, please open up. I…I didn't expect you to be upset. Please talk to me!"

OH GOD! What had I done? I would never consider anything with Demetri if it was going to upset her this way. I'd just have to explain to him. A curious hurt worked its way through me at the thought, and I realized how ironic it was that I'd finally found someone who I could possibly care for in that way…and my daughter didn't approve. Why didn't she? I wondered. It wasn't like her to react so "childishly." A part of me whispered that possibly this was good…her being a kid instead of so grown up all the time.

"Carlie?"

"Mama, go away!"

I didn't know what to do, so I did what I always did when I was confused.

Stumbling across the driveway, I made it to Jake and Leah's door within the minute. Opening it up, I called Seth's name first. I could hear him come bounding down the stairs, and then placed his hands on my fidgeting ones.

"I've upset her, and she won't talk to me," I told him, my voice gruff. I could hear Jake's heavy footsteps coming down the hall, Leah in tow.

"I'll go see what is wrong, Aunt Bella," he told me quickly, leaving me standing in the living room.

"Bella?" Leah said softly.

"I don't know what I did?"

"I'll fix some tea," Leah told Jake. It was her fix for everything, and honestly just the thought of one of her special blends already calmed me marginally.

"C'mon," Jake said simply.

"I thought she would be happy that I'd finally found someone to consider," I finished off, and then took another sip of Leah's special soothing blend, detecting camimole and lemon at least. Leah's palate for teas far surpassed mine.

Jake remained totally quiet.

"Jake?"

"I'm a little in shock, Bella. And first, don't you go thinking it has everything to do with the fact it is one of the Velathris, although that certainly doesn't make me totally happy about this. Why now?"

"Huh?"

"Why all of a sudden are you willing to consider dating someone?" he said softly, but in a very perceptive way.

I'd known that the subterfuge I was attempting to pull wasn't going to be easy. So, I'd planned with a touch of deceit and honesty.

"Jake, I thought you'd be happy," I challenged, knowing my personal Sun; this was a good way to start.

"Bella, I would be, if I didn't have the sneaky suspicion that this sudden willingness had more to do with the fact a certain family has shown up in your life and less to do with you actually liking this guy."

"Oh, I like him alright," I said, letting a very pleased smile filter across my lips. It was easy to generate. All I had to do was imagine him on top of me, the feel of his lips across mine. My face felt flush, and I was certain I was blushing.

"OH my…" was Leah's response.

"OH shit!" was Jake's.

"What! I've had to hear about your sexual encounters, from the both of you I might add, for years. It isn't okay for me to feel lustful about someone I am dating?" I challenged and they both started stuttering.

Maybe Demetri had been right. Having sex as part of the relationship would really solve a lot of problems. Jacob mentioned many things including "Clorox my brain" and "has to go through me first." But, in the end, he sputtered down to, "Bella, Leah and I have to meet him first, to give him our approval." Here was my protector…

"No problem, in fact, that was his suggestion. He knows how important you guys are to me. You know how old fashion they are, even if they creep you out. He'll return Friday, and I invited him to Carlie's recital that night. I thought that might be a good time for you to meet him," I suggested. Then reality sank into me, "Well that is assuming that Carlie is going to be okay with this."

My face twisted in my true despair, and that is when I felt Jake move to sit by me on the couch, drawing me into his arms.

"Bella, she'll come around. Carlie has experienced a few upheavals over the past few weeks. Did it occur to you that like most kids, she might have some fantasy about you and her father getting back together? And perhaps that is why she reacted so badly."

"WHAT!" I gasped out. "She can't seriously believe… She has to know that is impossible."

"Does she? Really?" Leah murmured. "Look Bella, Jake hasn't wanted me to say anything…" he growled over her, but she continued "…but I think you need to know. Something is up with the Cullen camp. I don't know, it is like…like they aren't the people I expected."

I was totally confused. "What do you mean?"

"Leah!" Jacob warned her.

"Shut up," she responded, totally unfazed by the implicit threat in his voice. "She needs to know. Bella, Edward…he seems different. I guess if I'd paid more attention the time I worked with he and his lawyer, I might has seen it then. But, I was just so angry to have to be in the same room with him, while he was oblivious to my contempt. But, thinking back to that case, I realized that my feelings for you totally overshadowed a few things. He claimed that he'd never been in a relationship with the woman that was stalking him. In fact, I remember him saying something to the effect he hadn't been in a relationship in a long time. It was obvious that he was very sexually active…"

Nausea threatened to make me lose my dinner. I DID NOT want to think about that.

"…but it was if it was almost a set aside part of him. I actually spoke to several of the women he'd been involved with…" my gasp stopped her. "Sorry Bella, I didn't say anything then because I just thought it would hurt you more. The women were all well educated and polished…with careers of their own. They spoke highly of him."

The conversation wasn't helping at all, and why did Leah feel the need to tell me this. "What is your point?" I snarled out, the anger making me bitchy with my sister. I jerked out of Jacob's arms and stood feeling my way to the back of their couch so that I could pace in the space there.

"Leah, stop!" Jacob said in a pleading voice.

"Jake, she needs to know. You, yourself, just implied she was doing this to buffer herself." Leah must have given him one of her famous bitch looks, because he shut up. "Bella, you know I hate him right?" She paused for a moment for me to jerkily nod. "And…it doesn't change anything for me. But, I'm not certain that Edward Cullen ever got over you. The look of panic on his face when you walked out of the session with the lawyers…well, that just can't be faked."

I ignored her words, unwilling to even entertain that thought.

"Look, I like Demetri. I really do. He makes me laugh, and he knows that I'm not looking to get married tomorrow. He understands my schedule, and he is a loved member of a family that has come to mean a great deal to me. I want to see him, to give it a try. I don't know why Fate landed him in my lap at such a time, but it did. The Cullens will become a part of Carlie's life, as is just, but there is no reason that it means anything to me."

"Jake, Felix and I spoke while I was there. It just wasn't meant to be, even though I must tell you we gave it the college try." He groaned most likely imagining the worse of me saying that. "I pegged him with Jane."

"What!" Jacob swore out.

"He and Jane are interested in each other, and Demetri and I are giving it six months. They're awesome together."

"One of your hunches," he muttered, but with less anger. He'd grown to trust me on these.

"Yeah," I said softly.

"And this Demetri guy?" He was asking whether or not I had a hunch about us.

The skin on my body recoiled. I didn't make hunches about me. "I like him, enough to go out on a date with him. Isn't that enough?"

"Bella you've never been on a date. Edward is the only person you've ever spent time with. What do you know about relationships!" he growled out.

His words hurt. His statement was meant to on so many levels. He was saying, "Look how the last time you tried this came out." He was reminding me of my naiveté. He was telling me that I couldn't do this, that I would fail again. He had no clue!

"Thanks, Jake!" I forced out.

"Bella, I'm sorry. That didn't come out the way it should have. Please sit down and talk with me," he started pleading, but my nerves were frazzled.

"NO! It would seem that I need some alone time as well!" I said and walked away from my two best friends.

I could hear Leah tearing Jake a new one as I walked through the door, but I could care less. Anger at HIM ripped through me. See, HE was not even back in our lives for two weeks and everything that was stable was being torn to pieces. My daughter wouldn't speak with me, my best friend didn't believe I could do something as simple as attempting a relationship, and I was stuck with nowhere to go.

Walking back into the house, I made a beeline for my bedroom. I heard Seth say something and realized that the door to Carlie's room must be open – as was the rule in the house. I didn't care. For once in my life,**I**acted spoiled and childish, slamming the door to my room. Knowing exactly what I needed, I threw on some workout clothes, my iPod, and thankfully grabbed my cane this time, as I'd need it to maneuver the mess of Jacob's garage. Within minutes, I was listening to punk rock music and beating the crap out of the punching bag, imagining someone's face…

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><p><strong><em>So, I'm wondering what you think? Let me have it! I love the "What the heck" reviews as much as the "I love it" ones. Just please be respectful to my readers!<em>**

**_Reviews will get a sneak peek into Jacob's thoughts._**

**_I'm content1april on twitter. Come join me, I'm still attempting to learn what to do. _**

**_Please visit my friends at the following stories. I PROMISE you won't be disappointed._**

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7352604/1/Cliche In a place far, far away lived a beautiful…oh, forget it. Who are we really kidding here? This is Hell. This is high school. Welcome to Forks.**

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2086771/TwiLoverSue: Once Bitten and A Forbidden Love**


	18. Wrong

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**To my peeps, Suzie55, LemonMartinis, and TwiloverSue. You guys have been my total inspiration to continue doing this thing. I owe you more than I can say. I must also acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me in keeping it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherriola. **

**A reader recommended that I needed a schedule that posted on the same day every week and most preferably on a weekend day – since she found it hard to read on the weekdays. SO…in an effort to please this very special reader, I'm upping the posting of this chapter. I'm still working on Jacob's POV and it is looking like a long one. SO…I'll send out to reviews for this and last chapter.**

**And…one of the reasons I put this up early is because I sorta…(hides face behind hands) lied… I forgot about this chapter when I said that the beginnings of the Edward/Bella showdown happened here. The beginning is actually next chapter! SOOO sorry!**

**But I think it might help a little in how some of you feel about Jasper and Emmett…maybe…**

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><p>Edward POV<p>

I'd spent the night back at the "compound," having brought my mother, sister, and sister-in-law back. They'd talked non-stop while I attempted to recover from my earlier shock, and then my mom had finally challenged me.

"Edward, you're going to have to step up your game! We didn't just find her to have one of the Velathris steal her from me…us," she corrected. She grinned sheepishly, but when Alice and Rose added in their thoughts, I cracked.

"What do you want me to do? Force her?" I said quickly, before stepping out to open the doors for them. I was still suffering from the green eyed monster that was clawing at my chest, ripping my insides to pieces for fun.

"I've never known you to have to force anyone," Rosalie snorted, as she rose elegantly from the back seat. "Tell her…just get it over with, and then turn on the charm. Woo her… Let her see that the boy she loved has turned into the man she can love. I, for one, am tired of you hiding behind that mask."

I saw Alice narrow her eyes at me before she spoke. "Edward, I can't handle it much longer. Did you see how she flinched from me? If you are planning on being the one to talk to her first…you're gonna have to hurry. I can't stand it…I have my own amends to make."

I thought back to their words as I pulled the strings on my shoes. I'd determined that I would have to indeed begin to do something. What, I was still contemplating. Leaning against the wall of the garage, I started my stretches with anticipation, knowing little centered me more than a run. Then the door from the garage to the house opened, and I grinned in excitement. Nothing more than a run with my father centered me more. He grunted as he leaned against the wall with me, stretching out his hamstrings.

"You're going to have to take it easy on this old man…"

I snorted, knowing that the "old man" was fully capable of running my ass into the dirt. I may be faster, but he had more endurance. We set a pace that would guarantee a good workout without taking away the ability to talk. The first mile was spent in peace, enjoying the cool of the morning before the individuals around us would stir from their beds and begin the business of living.

"Have you determined your next step yet?" he finally asked.

"No, but if the women have it their way, I'm to move over to her house and refuse to leave until she takes me back."

He looked over to me and chuckled. "Yeah, somehow I don't see that working out so well."

We turned onto the next street and moved onto the broad sidewalk. A car full of young women drove by and a chorus of whistles echoed out from the car. I turned to see the blush on his face, and couldn't help but tease him.

"Guess that's what you get for staying in such good shape."

He ignored my jab, but startled me with his next words. "I've made an appointment with Aro. I think he and I need to clear the air. He's a protective bastard, Edward, but he is fair. I think once he hears the whole story, he'll understand better." I doubted he would understand completely, and my father's next words confirmed that even he knew that. "I don't think it will totally absolve us in his eyes, but I need him to know where we stand and what we would like."

I didn't really know what to say about that. I only knew Aro from the short meetings we'd had with him many years ago, and then the recent one. My father and he had a relationship, so perhaps meeting with him would do some good.

"She is amazing," Carlisle said quickly, as we turned back toward the house. We were both sweating profusely, having kept each other to a grueling pace.

"Bella or Carlie?" I asked.

"Both actually," he smirked. "But, I think I'd already told you that about Carlie. Bella has turned into the woman I always dreamed she would. Her eyes are operable, by the way."

That brought me to a dead stand still. "WHAT!"

"I spoke with the Medical Director of Swedish. I know some dirt on him; significant issues that he would prefer never see the light of day." He chuckled at the look on my face. "I know dirt on just about everyone in this city, but I've never needed it or utilized it…until now. I guess I can still claim innocent, because I never made an exact threat. I just told him that I needed some information on my soon to be daughter-in-law. He never asked any questions."

I was astounded that the man would risk losing his license for breaking the rules of confidentiality, but even more so that my father, who'd never broken a single law, including speeding, would go so far.

"I needed to know," he stated adamantly, seeing the astonishment in my face. "I can help her. We employ individuals who specialize in the surgery she needs. It is the least I can do…" he left off, his tone pained. He started running again then, taking off before me. I pushed slightly to catch up to him.

"Dad, what happened wasn't your fault."

He "humphed" at me. "I should have knocked some sense into you, Edward. I shouldn't have put you totally first. I knew something was off, but I focused on you. It was easier that way, for me to not have to face what I'd done." His short puffs of breath interrupted his speech for a moment or two. "Making sure that her sight is restored…as much as possible…will be only a beginning of the amends I need to make to her."

His resolve silenced me and for the rest of the trip back, I thought through my plans. But as fate would have it, Jasper supplied the perfect beginning.

"We have a problem," he said, meeting us as we came jogging up to the house. With a flourish of his hand, he flipped open the morning edition of the local sensational rag.

**Bad Boy Cullen...finally in love. Just how old is his newest conquest?**

Below the headline was a picture of me and Carlie. She was smiling up at me and the look of utter adoration on my face was apparent.

Fury filled me. HOW dare they!

I needed to call Bella immediately and warn her. Once anyone from Forks saw this picture, it would be all over. The gossip would get even juicer. I could only imagine what the papers would do with the truth. The truth…in this situation…was the wet dream of every paparazzi.

I started fumbling in my shorts for my phone, but Jasper held his out. I saw him grimace slightly at the sweat covering me and wanted to laugh. Jasper practiced several forms of martial arts for his exercise. "Running," he said, "was for those that liked to sweat."

As I dialed the number, I realized something. Fate had just given me the perfect excuse to get Bella to talk with me. As the grinned stretched across my face, my father and brother-in-law looked to me as if I was a crazed man.

"_This_ she will talk to me about," I said softly in explanation.

Jasper snorted, and my father walked off. "I'm going to call Aro and reschedule for first thing this morning. We'll need his help with this," he said as he left.

The phone rang, and honestly, I assumed I would get the answering machine, so I was momentarily stunned when Carlie answered the phone.

"Carlie, it's Edward," I said quickly.

"Um…hi," she said softly, and I wondered about the hesitancy I heard in her voice.

"I need to speak with your mother," I told her quickly.

"Um…I'm not so sure that is the best idea right now," she said in a strange tone.

I didn't have time to wonder though. "Carlie, this is important. This isn't about me attempting to speak with her…" I lied, because I couldn't deny that I would enjoy that as well "…something has come up and it pertains to your and her safety. It is imperative that I talk with her. Tell her that I either speak to her by phone, or I'll be there in 20 minutes to do it in person."

I heard something that sounded suspiciously like a snicker and then she said in a much brighter tone. "Ok!" Then there was something that sounded like "'bout time."

Bella POV

I felt like hell. I'd beaten the bag to a pulp, had it out with Jacob again when he came to hold it for me, called him a son of a bitch…only to have him agree, "accidentally" missed the bag a few times to punch him in the arm, and then finally ignored his patient tolerance. I'd left him standing calling my name out in apology, to go to sleep, only to wake up during the night to go to Carlie's room to check on her. She'd obviously been sleeping as fitfully as I had, so the minute I walked into her room to listen to her, she'd turned over and said my name. We'd ended up profusely apologizing to each other and indulging in a pint of ice cream. I was being a bad mother, I knew, because she had school and was going to be exhausted. She'd, of course, reassured me that she would be fine, but I was imagining a call from the principal as the hot water rolled over my body. We hadn't spoken about Demetri. It was enough that we'd made up.

I could hear her in the kitchen when I'd gotten up, and I was imagining that she was turning on the coffee. Having made a breakfast casserole when I'd cooked the lasagna, I knew that a good microwave nuke and we'd be fine. A bright girl, she was staying away from me though, until I had my coffee. When I smelt the harsh brew waft over the steam of the shower, I knew she'd left me a cup on my countertop. Not only was she a smart girl…she was a treasure. I all but guzzled the offering as soon as I wrapped a towel around my wet hair.

Throwing my robe on, I stepped to the doorway having heard the phone ring.

"Mama, it's Edward." What the hell…. "He says it is important, and quote, 'Tell her that I either speak to her by phone, or I'll be there in 20 minutes to do it in person.'"

Disliking the tone of her voice, I was beginning to believe that she really did want us back together. I needed to have a serious discussion with him. He needed to be honest with her about his feelings for me as this was going too far…and seriously, I wasn't a martyr. I wasn't ready to take all the blame.

And, his attitude…his pompousness... _"or I'll be there in 20 minutes to do it in person."_ What was with him?

She pressed the phone into my hand before I could say anything.

"Yes," I said coolly.

"Bella…" his voice, saying my name, made a wave of desire race along my skin. "…we have a problem." Those words caused my hesitancy to speak with him disappear immediately.

"What kind of problem?" I said harshly.

"The worst kind…the press."

~x~SOMP~x~

BPOV

"Morning, m'am," the genteel voice said as soon as I opened the door.

"Jasper, right?"

"The one and only," he said with a chuckle to his voice. "I'm here to take you to corporate."

"Ok, I think I'm ready. Is this appropriate?" I asked, indicating the suit that Leah'd help me pick out.

"You are stunning, while at the same time business-like. My pixie would say you are perfect."

I froze a little at the mention of Alice, but didn't really have the time to deal with it.

"Now, Ms. Bella…" he said softly, and the sound of his voice calmed me. "I probably shouldn't be throwing this on you at a time like this, but I'm going to have to work with you on my wife. She is in agony over you…has been about you since the moment I met her. I only ask that when you feel you can, that you give her time to explain."

I sucked in a deep breath at the feeling his words brought forth.

"But enough about the future, we have today to worry about," he said gently, pulling me away from the tidal wave that threatened me. "I'll be taking you to meet the crew. Has Carlie already left for school?"

"Yes," I huffed out. "Jake took her and Seth with him. He called his cousin Sam and his brother-in-law Paul to help him. They said they'd met him at school. Trust me; a camera person won't get close to them."

"I can imagine, if they can use their fists like Jacob. That was the finest example of kickin' ass I've ever seen. I don't think I've ever seen Edward get stomped like that. Quite refreshing I must say."

I began chuckling at his words. I couldn't even imagine that someone would laugh about the fight Leah had described to me, and I was actually surprised that Jake hadn't fought to the death. That fight had been a long time in coming. His soft laughter joined mine, and before long, I was snorting. The stress had obviously gotten to me.

"C'mon, we need to get to Cullen Enterprises, or Emo boy will get his panties in a twist."

My sharp bark of laughter echoed out around us. "Dear lord, I imagine you keep them on their toes."

"Yes m'am, that's my job…keeping them in line. Now part of that job is to get you to them, so that we can present a united front. You ready?"

Turning to grab my purse, I nodded. "As I'll ever be."

He was ever the gentleman, lending me an arm to slide into his car. I felt the cool of leather underneath me and the smell of…taffy? The hum of the engine underneath me convinced me that whatever car I was in…it was powerful.

"Jasper, can I ask you a question?"

His startled silence made me realize that he probably thought I was going with something serious…and most likely about the family. "Sure?" he said in a hesitant voice.

"What's a man driving a Porsche..." I guessed and was rewarded with his confirming grunt "…doing with taffy?"

It was his turn to snort. "How in the world? What a surprise you are." He laughed just a minute before admitting. "Well, when I met Allie…I smoked. She crawled my ass and said that if I had any future with her that had to stop. Sometimes…well sometimes, I just really want a smoke. So, instead, I pop a piece of taffy in. I tried sneaking once, but I'll be damned if she didn't know. It is like she can see me or something."

"Yeah…" I said, knowing what he meant. I'd often thought she had eyes in the back of her head…the way she was always jittery and such, looking behind her as if she expected to see someone there.

"Bella, may I be so bold as to admit something to you?" he asked.

"Um…sure," I responded, confused about his tentative tone.

"I like your and Edward's daughter immensely, and I feel that I was able to get a good assessment of her character while she was with us. Good kid…but she is measuring our family as much as I was her. Now, I know the good rules of warfare indicate that you shouldn't reveal your strategy to the opponent, but I feel it would be amiss for me not to lay it out all on the line to you. My ultimate goal is to bring peace between you and the Cullens. I love Alice beyond reason, and her happiness is my desire. I won't hurt you or Carlie, but I am going to ensure that every avenue within my grasp is utilized to work this out."

I was astonished at his words and brashness, yet, his honestly garnered him a large measure of respect in my book. He was laying it on the line, as he'd said, so that I knew where he was ultimately coming from.

"Are you always this up front?" I sputtered out.

"Ah…no." He chuckled. "But when this is all over and the cordial relationship I'm envisioning has been accomplished…I want to be able to stand before you with a clear conscience. I think I know where you stand…now you know where I stand. I believe honesty is a make or break deal with you, right?"

"Yeah."

"So we're good then?" he asked in an abashed tone.

I couldn't help but laugh. "I guess. So you are just forewarning me of your intentions, is that it?"

"Yup."

"Very well, Jasper…" I left off not remembering if I'd ever known his last name.

"Whitlock, mam."

"Very well, Jasper Whitlock. You've laid down the terms of your negotiations, I'll get back to you with my counteroffer. But you hurt my daughter and…using the vernacular you seem fond of…I'll open up a can of 'whoop ass' on you."

"Acceptable," he murmured, his amusement at my wording clear in his voice.

Having navigated the landmine of his revelation, we continued to make small talk as he maneuvered the early morning streets. I was trying not to work myself into a nervous wreck, knowing that I was walking alone into the den of lions. Jake had wanted to be with me, but I preferred that he protect Carlie and Seth. Leah had said she would call into work, but I didn't want her to have to be there. She needed to keep her private and business life separate, and an assistant DA didn't need to be associated with the fiasco that was about to occur. So, my other knight in shining armor would be awaiting me.

I saw the subtle change in light suddenly and knew that we'd pulled into a covered area; the feel as we sloped downward indicated most likely a garage.

"Okay, Bella. We'll be meeting the family upstairs. Aro will be there, as Edward told you, so he and Emmett will be representing us with the media."

The car came to a stop, and I tried not to let my nerves show. I heard Jasper mutter something derogatory under his breath, and I had to only wonder for just a second. The door to the car opened quickly, and I startled when "BB" echoed out in the cavernous area.

"Shit, Emmett," I swore out as I was engulfed in a thick pair of arms and pulled from the seat. The big ox kissed the top of my head and squeezed me unmercifully.

"UNGH! Em!" I choked out through the bear hug I was enveloped in.

"Couldn't welcome you this way last time. I had to come steal a hug before we have to act all serious."

The man had not one bit of common sense as he continued to dangle me, my legs swinging like a pendulum. One of my shoes fell off, hitting the concrete with a sharp tap, but I couldn't stop the small pat I placed on his broad back. It just felt…right.

He chuckled softly when he felt my small sign of affection. "It's going to be okay, Bella. I promise. I won't let anyone hurt you again."

I knew he meant it, too. At one time, I'd thought to find Emmett after Carlie had been born. I'd known he'd help me, but something had held me back. Maybe, it was because I'd known he would have helped me in spite of his family, and I hadn't wanted to put him in that position.

"Why?" he asked softly, almost as if he could read my mind. "Why didn't you come find me?" I could hear the hurt in his voice.

"At first, I just didn't want to put you in that position," I repeated what I'd just thought. "Then, well…I thought you had taken their side."

"Never, BB. Never. When you didn't come to me, I thought we'd hurt you too much. She is amazing, Bella. Brought me to my knees the first time I saw her…literally."

I snorted out at his humor while holding back the tears. We'd failed each other…Emmett and me. Of all the ones I should've trusted, it was him, and although I'd gone to all the others…I hadn't him. He'd read my silence as a message to leave me alone. That is who Emmett was…a boy who'd allowed me to make my own decisions even as a young girl.

Over Emmett's broad shoulder, I could hear Jasper stirring, but he seemed okay with giving us our bonding time.

"Yeah…she told me. Jake made sure she can take care of herself."

"Laid me low…" he sniffed theatrically "…but I want to work with her more. Jasper too…he has all the moves."

"I bet…" I murmured and finally caved to the need to place my head on his shoulders. A sense of peace surrounded me as he gently squeezed me one more time before letting me slide to my feet. He supported me while he bent to retrieve my shoe.

"I don't know anything about women's shoes, but I know that Rose would have my dick in a vice if I damaged one of hers. I'm wise enough just to pay the bills, Bells."

"Wise man, Em. Wise man." Hearing the Cullens' nickname for me didn't hurt so much from him.

"Let's go. I'm thinking they must be wondering what has happened to us."

The ride in the elevator was more relaxed than I would've thought. I'd been dreading it, but when the door opened I was still laughing at the two of them. Jasper had just called Emmett an "Ox" when I heard the ding. Since I'd called Emmett that before, I could only appreciate Jasper's assessment of his behavior.

We'd entered a main part of the business, I assumed, as I could hear the individuals on phones around us as we walked. Jasper and Emmett kept up the harassment of each other; I was certain it was to distract me. I heard the murmur of voices around us and the speculation. My hearing was extremely sensitive, and I caught the whispers as to whom I was, caring less.

A voice that had the power to reduce me to tears enlightened them all. "Bella, my dear…" Carlisle's soft cadence carried across the din, causing the noise to stop immediately. I would have fallen had Emmett not held me. As if in slow motion, I heard his footsteps and another's approaching. When he stopped in front of me, I felt faint. This was the man I'd considered my father. The man I'd idolized. The man who'd left me.

"Bella, Jerry is our head of security. Jerry, this is my daughter and the mother of my granddaughter."

Daughter? I wasn't sure if the roaring was in my head or if it was from the rush of gossip from the individuals around us…either way, I gripped harder onto Emmett's arm for fear that I would attack him.

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><p><em>So, I'm wondering what you think? Let me have it! I love the "What the heck" reviews as much as the "I love it" ones. Just please be respectful to my readers!<em>

_Reviews will get a sneak peek into the extended version of Jacob's thoughts._

_I'm content1april on twitter. Come join me, I'm still attempting to learn what to do. _

_Please visit my friends at the following stories. I PROMISE you won't be disappointed._

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/7352604/1/Cliche **In a place far, far away lived a beautiful…oh, forget it. Who are we really kidding here? This is Hell. This is high school. Welcome to Forks.

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2086771/TwiLoverSue:** Once Bitten and A Forbidden Love


	19. Humbleness

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**To my peeps, Suzie55, LemonMartinis, and TwiloverSue. You guys have been my total inspiration to continue doing this thing. I owe you more than I can say. I must also acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me in keeping it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherriola. **

**I'm working on returning the review replies as I post this chapter. I knew I wouldn't be able to get through with them before the end of the night, and since I promised that I'd post on Sundays – please accept my apologies. I'll keep working through review replies to send the Jake POV out.**

**Just FYI, I won't be doing a review reply outtake this week. I want to do a special chapter for Sins– an outtake per say of the Christmas that Edward and Bella would have spent together as teenagers. I'm working on Christmas chapters for my other two stories, so I really wanted to do that for this story as well, even though we aren't anywhere close to that time period in the story. Please accept my apologies up front for not giving an extra snippet this week. MAYBE…that will allow me to have space on the reviews to actually say hi!**

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

Emmett placed his hand on mine, keeping me in place. Funny how he knew I wanted to lunge for his father. I was certain he was protecting us both…Carlisle from me…and me from myself. I could just see the headlines in the news…vibrant pictures of me clawing Carlisle's eyes out.

"Let me at him, Em…" I said in a small snarl.

"Nope…not gonna do it…he is my dad, Bella, and somehow I see you winning," he said tactfully. He waited though to see if I was going to insist. The moment gave me time to cool off. I was going to take Carlisle to task, just at a time when I could do it in private. Taking the initiative when he felt my hesitancy, Emmett began to walk forward, and I almost lost my cane. Ever the gentleman, he stopped securing it in my grasp.

"Bella, do you need this with me guiding you, or would you prefer me to carry it? I am as likely to trip over the damn thing as you are," he said softly.

Giggling slightly, I stopped and handed him my purse in order to fold my portable cane, knowing Emmett would make sure I arrived safely. During my effort, I could hear Jasper furiously hissing at Carlisle behind me and the Cullen patriarch's words of regret.

"Didn't think, it just came out."

Jasper's gruff voice was harsh, but his words too low for me to even hear. Carlisle could apologize all he wanted to, wasn't going to work. Emmett's words brought me back around.

"Bella, Aro is here and will be representing you. I'll be speaking for Edward, but it would be beneficial to present a united front. Are you okay with sitting beside him?" Emmett continued, tucking my hand through his arm again. There was no doubt he was referring to _Him_.

"Doesn't matter to me," I coolly responded.

"I didn't think so, but you know I had to ask," he chuckled. "We have the lawyers and editors of the main newspapers and the sensational rags here, and we are about to threaten a libel suit. I just wanted you to know so that you could be prepared."

"Em, I'm curious about something." It had actually been killing me since I realized he was a lawyer. "What in the world made you decide to become an attorney, when I thought you'd follow the world of high finance?" I felt his muscles stiffen in reaction to my words, but it was Jasper's response that caught my attention.

"Because he wasn't any good at it," the southern charmer said softly behind us.

"Shut up!" Emmett quickly said in a furious voice back to his brother-in-law.

I wanted to ask the story behind Emmett's unusual reaction, but we'd obviously stepped into the room where we would meet if the level of chatter was any indication.

Emmett finally took my hand, placing it on the back of a chair, and I followed the lines of buttery soft leather to the arm rest. Taking a step forward, I felt the edge of the table.

"Bella, can I help you?" _His_ voice said softly.

I wanted to scream "HELL NO!" but figured it wouldn't do so well for the little charade we were playing. Instead, I decided to address him in a cordial manner.

"Thank you, but no."

His gasp of surprise at my tone was a point of victory. I was determined to do what I promised Carlie I'd do and make this easy on us all. If my amiability messed with him…well that was just my own private little jab. Emmett placed my purse in my lap surreptitiously and patted my leg in a way that let me know he knew what I was doing. I wanted to giggle at him in collusion.

"Isabella," Aro said from my other side, drawing my attention, and he took my hand in his kissing my knuckles gallantly. I thanked God for Aro as he provided me a reason to politely ignore any further conversation with _Him_. I heard others settling around me and wondered who was in the room with us, but Emmett hadn't shared other than generally. I knew that Aro would when the time was right, and that he would watch over me.

"Michael, let's proceed with this meeting," Emmett's voice boomed out from my left, and I could only assume he'd sat to His other side. "Your newspaper, in particular, posted a picture of my brother and Ms. Carlie Swan. The title was inflammatory, and any further actions on your part to represent them as a romantic couple will result in an immediate slander suit against you from both Mr. Cullen and Ms. Swan."

"Doesn't seem that they mind being seen together now, so how do you plan to have that hold a grain of salt in a court of law," a slick voice came from in front of me. He obviously thought that I was Carlie.

Aro squeezed my hand from where he'd held it under the table before he spoke. "Carlie Swan is Isabella's and Edward's daughter. To insinuate that Edward would be intimate with his own daughter would make your newspaper a pariah. I welcome you to continue along your pathway to destruction. It would be the last mistake that your newspaper made, and I, for one, will laugh at you as the doors are locked against you."

A gasp went out from in front of me, and then another voice spoke.

"Mr. Velathri, are you indicating that the young woman pictured with Anthony Cullen is his daughter? If so, who might the lovely lady to your left be?"

Before Aro or Emmett could speak, _He_ answered, "Bella Swan. She is Carlie's mother."

The silence was deafening.

Then the first slick voice shouted out, "So, it finally caught up to you, huh?"

"You would be well advised to watch the insinuation you make," _He_ said softly, but I admitted even to myself that the thinly veiled steel in his voice was threatening. He was a grown man now, I realized, not the boy I'd once thought I knew. "Isabella Swan is an innocent and was well advised to steer clear from me for many years. Only because she is the gracious individual that she is am I being allowed the opportunity to spend time with my daughter. I will broker no insult upon her and will ask both Mr. Velathri's and my brother's help in ruining anyone that disparages her or my daughter's name. The one that deserves condemnation here is me, not her."

What was _He_ doing? I squeezed Aro's hand hard, telling him in effect to stop Him.

But like a blathering idiot, _He_ continued. "Uncaring and unworthy, I left Bella Swan behind as a teenager, and she raised our child. My amends will be to her and any explanations for why I haven't been a part of their lives are owed solely to her…not the media. One hint that you have targeted them, and I will ruin you."

I was all but crushing Aro's hand, and he used his other to pry my fingers away before leaning over to whisper to me. "He deserves this. Allow the jackals to tear him apart; it was his plan after all."

He did…but I felt ill at the questions that were thrown at him like bullets from a rapid-fire machine gun. They'd already dug up dirt, it would seem. Questions about his early partying were unmercifully thrown out, and like a fool, he answered them honestly. Couldn't he lose his medical license for admitting to using illicit drugs?

The slimy voice cranked up again… "Seems that you have problems with bringing the women in your life trouble, Mr. Cullen?"

I heard the chair squeak from beside me and then Emmett's voice telling _Him_ to calm down. I wondered what it meant, for the electricity in the room had just shot through the roof.

"Michael, you've just earned yourself a ticket out of this private conversation," Emmett cut in.

He followed his words with a bunch of legal mumble jumbo that I couldn't follow. It hit me again just how different Emmett had turned out than I expected. He'd always been extremely intelligent, but being a lawyer just didn't fit what I'd thought he would do.

"You can't kick me out!" the voice said, and it was then that I heard Jasper's soft cadence and several direct statements to the contrary.

"I'll be back, Isabella. This leech is just my kind of fun. Let me go rip his legs out from under him, and I'll return," Aro told me softly before rising. He was enjoying this, I realized.

A door closed and silence reigned again.

"Ms. Swan is the mother of my child and has my utmost regards and respect. I will not allow any stain from my past to touch her or my family. Run me through the mud if you will, but any attempt to disparage her or my family will be met with the combined legal forces of her and our legal counsels. Ask me the questions, and I will tell you the answers. Insinuations will not be tolerated, however," _He_ said.

I was stuck long before the end of statement on the words "regard" and "respect." I was barely holding myself together, squeezing my hands harshly in Aro's absence. It was all a farce, a show of unity for the press. But even with that knowledge, it was difficult to appear complacent when _He_ lied. Carlie… I chanted silently, reminding myself of why we were doing this. There would be no hint of anger or division here in front of the "jackals" as Aro had called them. We had Ringling Barnum and Bailey beat. THIS would be the greatest show on Earth.

When they attempted to ask questions of me, Emmett shut them down quickly. Finally, I decided that I was coming off entirely too passive, so when one of the reporters asked about me, I responded.

"I write children's books," I said in reply to a direct question as to what I did for a living.

"WAIT! You are B. Swan?" a female voice asked quickly in front and to the left of me.

"B. Swan?" a male in front of me parroted.

"Black Swan, the famous children's author…she's been on the best sellers list for like years now. But I thought you were…" she left off.

"Blind," I offered up in a friendly manner.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize," she murmured in an embarrassed voice.

"It's entirely okay," I said gently. I got that a lot. Jake always said it was because it took people time to realize it, when I was sitting…took less than a minute if I was asked to walk.

My story wasn't one that was unknown, but since I didn't put my face or real name on the back of my books, few people "knew" me. I did book signings, of course, but generally it was moms and their kids…not the press. It had been a good quiet existence…one I suspected was disintegrating in front of my useless eyes.

"So you and Anthony are on friendly terms?" the female's voice came back at me. I could tell it was true curiosity, not maliciousness.

The door opened to my side, and I used the time of the distraction to form my answer. I heard Aro sitting back down beside me and felt much better when he took my hand again.

"Yes, he and I love our child very much. She is our number one priority, and we will work together to protect her and ensure her privacy." Aro squeezed my hand in approval of my answer.

I'd heard Him turning toward me as I spoke. What had He thought I'd say? This was all about making life right for our child, who was as I'd said our number one priority. He and I would make a formidable team…in defense of Carlie.

A formidable team…

I realized that I knew that without a doubt…that _He_ would help me defend her, protect her…love her. Time hadn't changed that about _Him_…his fierce protectiveness of his family. Between _He_ and Jake, Carlie couldn't be better protected. A sense of peace washed over me at the notion.

Several more questions came at us rapid-fire, and _He_ kept answering in ways that made me look a saint and left him looking a cad. It made me wonder why _He__'__d_ proposed this plan to Aro and Emmett.

"So Anthony, are your playboy days a thing of the past?" another female voice finally asked. It was one I hadn't heard.

The oxygen seemed to be sucked out of the room at her question, as if the answer He would provide would prove intriguing for every individual present. Given how he'd answered everything so far, I already knew how he'd respond…I just didn't know why he was going to answer in that way.

"I have been given the unimaginable…the unprecedented opportunity to hopefully build a relationship with my daughter, and the chance to regain a friendship with her mother. I may have been an arrogant ass when we were kids, but I won't be a fool twice."

I'd known it was coming, and the sounds of the wheels turning in the reporters' and editors' minds were crystal clear to me…even if no one else heard them.

**Edward POV**

We'd planned for the newspaper personnel to be escorted out of the room while we remained, so that we could hopefully staunch any further side-bar questioning. It'd actually been Aro's idea, and if there was anything he was good at, it was controlling possibly volatile situations. So, we'd listened. He'd spent an inordinate amount of time assessing me with his black as sin eyes, making me wonder what my father had shared. I knew that Jacob would protect Bella with his life, but somehow I suspected that Aro would ensure her safety with a legion of his personal men, as well as his life.

Although I loathed to leave her side, I rose to go to the bar for a water for Bella and I. She looked as cool as a cucumber sitting at the table, but I felt as if I'd been under a spotlight…even if it was one of my own making. No one had argued against me taking the flak in such a public manner, although Aro had asked me why I wanted to do it that way.

"Because I am the one to blame for all this mess, and anything I can do to make sure that Bella looks as blameless as possible…I will do it. Someone from Forks is going to talk, and I want to make sure that the foundation is already built so that the ranting I indulged in is seen as what it was, the maniacal words of a child. The papers will have a field day, but at my expense not hers."

Even Aro had nodded his head in acknowledgement of my plan. I'd actually been waiting on his approval, knowing that my father had told me many times that he was a tactical genius of monstrous proportions. If he agreed with my proposal, I knew that it was an appropriate game plan.

"Very well" had been his only words and all the reassurance I needed.

He had, however, taken the opportunity to step close to me at one point while the others were distracted and whisper under his breath, "I'll personally destroy you if you harm a hair on either of their heads. Your father has revealed to me your behavior, and honestly, you are lucky that I did not know this before. I still have to take him to task for his contribution to this fiasco, but I hold you personally responsible for many of the tears that I know Isabella has held inside. One wrong move on your part and they'll never find your pieces. I'll tear you limb from limb and spread them so widely across the ocean that even the fish would find it difficult to put you back together. Do we understand each other?" He'd hissed it all in a sinister manner.

"Yes, sir."

"Wonderful," he'd replied and then smiled in a way that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

"Aro," I'd mumbled as he started to step away.

His arched eyebrow had been my only acknowledgement.

"If I hurt them, I personally request that you destroy me. For me to do so would mean that I have no control over myself, because everything within me shies away from the possibility that I would hurt her again. I can't promise that I won't dredge up hurtful memories from the past, because for us to go forward means that certain things need to be examined in the light of day…whether she ever finds it within her to forgive me…or whether we just simply exist around each other for the benefit of our daughter. However, I will do whatever it takes to make Bella Swan happy, whether that is with me or without me."

"We shall see if you've become a man that can actually make good on that promise. And perhaps for me, that will be the true test of whether or not you actually mean those pretty words of sorrow you spout."

I was effectively dismissed after that, although he'd remained to participate in the show we'd just put on.

Turning from where I'd moved to retrieve two ice cold waters from the hidden refrigerator, I saw Bella still sitting in the same spot engaged in a fierce debate with the black headed Italian beside her. I hesitated to approach them, but something inside me pulled me toward them. Aro glanced at me in a curious manner just before I spoke to them.

"Bella, I brought you some water," I said quietly, placing the bottle on the table between us.

What happened next rendered me speechless.

In a flash, she stood and placed her hands on the table, leaning toward me with fire in her eyes. "What the hell is your game?" she roared.

You could have heard the proverbial pin drop in the room as we became the focus of everyone's attention.

"Carlie comes home saying that you told her everything and how sorry you were. You just made an idiot of yourself to those newspaper reporters. That story will be everywhere! You as much as admitted things that I'm guessing could destroy your career. For what? What are you hoping to gain by doing all this?"

She was seething…all but breathing fire down upon me.

"A chance…" I said without thinking.

"A chance?" she spit. Anger had her eyes flared and she was glorious in her indignation. She was also justified, but I couldn't help but squirm a little under the force of her gaze. This was only a small sample of what I was to expect, when she'd finally listen to me.

"To hopefully rectify the wrongs I did in the past. A chance to become something to Carlie, a chance to make amends…" here goes "…a chance to speak with you, to let you know how wrong I was and how truly sorry I am. Will you please give me the opportunity to just speak to you, to explain? I know that I may have done so much damage that nothing would ever be right between us, but we can't know that until you give me the ability to try. Please, Bella, just a few moments of your time."

I'd watched the skin of her face vacillate between bright red in anger to ghostly white while I spoke. A true barometer to her feelings, the pasty white was back, and I realized she was in shock from my words.

"We have nothing to talk about!" she snarled at me, slapping her folded up walking cane down onto the top of the table next to her purse. Whether she'd done it for effect or not, it had the same result. It was a poignant reminder of all that she'd lost because of my immaturity.

~SOMP~

_"Edward, answer me a question. When will you ever feel good enough for those around you? When will you know that you've done enough? When will you give yourself the opportunity to make amends, because what you are doing now…that isn't it," Elizabeth's voice came clearly in my mind._

_"What do you mean?" I threw out in frustration._

_She shook her head and moved to sit on the edge of her chair. "Has Alice forgiven you?"_

_Cold horror seeped in for a moment, washing over me. The sound of a gurgle filled my head…Alice trying to talk to me as she lay dying…while I was telling her how sorry I was._

_"Edward, focus through whatever memory is overwhelming you…listen to my voice." Elizabeth pulled me back to the present, and her beautiful face filled my vision._

_"Much better," she smiled. "Now answer my question. Have you earned Alice's forgiveness for what you did?"_

_Relief so strong it hurt had washed over me at her words. She'd acknowledged my guilt, when no one else had. Everyone had rushed to assure me that it wasn't my fault…absolving me of my guilt before even listening. Elizabeth had just done what no one else had…she'd told me she saw the real me…the monster underneath._

_"Yes," I'd barely been able to speak, so great was the relief to speak of the darkness so frankly._

_"How did you earn it? Alice's forgiveness."_

_"I told her, of how if I could go back and erase the past I would…the decisions I made that at the time to bring home a friend, never knowing what lurked beneath the pleasant and amiable façade. I acknowledged that although I wished it otherwise, that nothing I could ever do would undo the past."_

_"And?"_

_"Every day since then, I've done small things to support her and make her life better."_

_"Ah…so she acknowledged that you'd been a monster and that she needed to forgive you for what you'd done to her, right?"_

_No…that wasn't what Alice had said. She'd indicated that neither or us had been to blame, that we'd been victims of unfortunate circumstances…well at least she'd come to that conclusion after years of therapy._

_"No, she's never felt I was a monster for what happened with her rape."_

_"When you've attended the parole hearings for the man that attacked Alice, have you been able to discern the things you did wrong from his testimony and repair those as well."_

_"Huh?" She confused me with that question._

_"His testimony…surely you've been able to delineate from his testimony against you what you did to help him…the things you needed to make amends to Alice for?"_

_Silence grew thick in her office as my mind attempted to understand what she was asking._

_"Edward, I get paid good money for the time with you, whether or not you utilize it. However, I must say that most of my clients fill in the time with nonsense. Will silence be your unique strategy for me to earn an extra dollar?" She smirked at me. "My question was simple. Here…here is a paper and pencil. If you can't talk, then at least write down what this man said that you did to help him."_

_Blank paper stared at me until I finally wrote down the only word I could remember him every saying. Friendship._

_Seeing my hand still, she reached over to grasp the paper from me, and then she gasped so harshly that I wondered if I'd gone crazy and written something ghastly down, instead of what I'd thought I'd written._

_"How horrible!" she murmured, making me sit up to lean over and look down on the paper for clarification. Maybe I was having psychotic breaks now and had written something very Freudian._

_Nope. Still just 'friendship' on the paper._

_"How monstrous, I hope you stop that immediately…being friends with people that is," she continued, and my ire rose a little at her sarcasm._

_Becoming a friend hadn't been a monstrous thing; it was what had been done with my offer that was monstrous. And then I realized what she'd done…she'd played me. With an amused glint to her face, she waited for me to admit it, but I didn't even know how to put it in words._

_"C'mon Cullen, you know you going to have to tell a shrink that she's right 'for once.' You doctors are all the same, thinking that if your hands aren't elbow deep in blood, that it isn't real science."_

_She raised her eyebrows at me in challenge._

_"I didn't do anything to help him," I admitted in a rush, and she let the words echo around the office, coming back to slap me in the face._

_"Did that hurt much?" she finally asked in response._

_Unexpected laughter had poured deep from within me, and hearing my reaction she made a great show of making a check mark, as if she'd won a point. Then she briskly moved on._

_"So, as you know, you asked me to use Brief Solution Focused Therapy with you because of your desire to address some things fairly quickly. I won't even go into the fact that I think you have some deeper insecurities that you'll need to deal with in the future with either myself or someone else…" she was referring to my fresh realization that I'd held onto guilt for at least something that wasn't mine "…but let's just focus on what we have here. BSFT tells you to look at what you've done in the past that has been successful and to how those skills can be used again to resolve problems. So let's go over what we've discovered so far again. You realized you were a monster, you groveled everyday saying you were sorry, refused to let go of it, and continued to do this day in and day out. And, that is what earned you Alice's forgiveness."_

_I wasn't falling for it again and linked my hands to have something to stare at beside her shrewd gaze. Alice had never really given me forgiveness, because she insisted that there was nothing to ask forgiveness for. But the opposite behaviors of what she'd just listed had allowed me a measure of peace._

_"Make true, honest amends, move forward from that day, and find those things that I can do to fix what I've done. That is what you are telling me to do," I responded to her, realizing what she'd pointed out._

_"No, Edward, that isn't what I'm telling you to do." Those words had brought my eyes back to her face. Once she had me in her snare, she'd announced, "That is what you are telling yourself to do. It is what has worked in the past, and what will work for you in the future. You see, real therapy isn't about someone telling you how to live your life; it is about helping you figure out what you've always known. Now go be a good little monster and put that into practice. Then come tell me how it worked, and we'll figure out what you did wrong and what you did right and continue to muddle through the trash that has overrun you until we have it all cleaned up."_

~SOMP~

The memory of one of my and Dr. Paschal's session raced through my mind in the second after Bella had screamed at me that we had nothing to talk about.

"You're right," I admitted to her, seeing that my capitulation startled her. She was still furious, but I'd captured her curiosity. "You don't need to speak with me; I need to speak with you. Bella, I'll do it here in front of the family if need be, but at least allow me to give you the benefit of admitting what I did. You deserve it…to hear nothing but amends and apologies after what I said to you the last time. That was done before an audience, so in reality it would only be proper that I do this before our families and friends."

"What do you want from me?" she said in a much quieter voice, but it wasn't to be construed as capitulation.

I wanted to shout out, _Everything_! But, I knew that we were nowhere near that level of honesty.

Everyone in the room was watching us, and although it wasn't ideal, I didn't want any more time to elapse or to lose the opportunity. Moving quickly around the table, I stopped just behind Aro so that I was directly in front of her.

"Bella, I need to tell you in my words, my apology. Nothing I'll ever say will make up for what I did to us. There are many things I could tell you that would provide the background for why I acted the way I did, but nothing will every justify it, and honestly I just think those things are superfluous. But, I don't want to hide anything from you ever again, and if it is important for you to understand the things that happened with me, I will tell you every detail. But nothing could justify it, how I talked to you in the cafeteria, the lies I believed, the fact I didn't contact you when you left message after message."

"What difference does it make now?" she said in a frankly dead tone.

I rushed in, desperate to utilize every moment I had of her attention. "Every difference in the world. You deserve my humbleness and honest words of apology. I am sorry for what I did, but saying sorry isn't good enough. I want to make amends to you, in whatever way that you will allow. You and our daughter are the most important people in this world to me, and I don't know how to fix what I destroyed. I need you to tell me what I can do to earn your regard again."

"I don't know that I can ever feel comfortable spending time with you."

It was no more than I'd expected, but taking Dr. Paschal's advice to heart, I remained steady. "I understand, but if you could find a way to give me the opportunity at the time and place of your choosing, I will place everything on the table. If afterwards, you decide you cannot allow me in your life in some way, I can only grow to respect that."

She began to say something, but the door opened and James, our security guard, slipped in destroying the moment.

"I'm sorry sir, but the one man has set up camp outside with cameras and a van. You'll need to leave out the back way in order to avoid the mess."

Looking to Bella, I realized she'd retreated from me, and I wanted to curse at the interruption. Aro moved his chair back almost running into me, and it was an obvious message that my moment was over. I had to be satisfied that the seed had been planted, and I needed to give her the power now. She'd either totally ignore what I'd asked, or give me a chance. I didn't have control over what she would decide, and it was a horrifying feeling.

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><p><strong>SO…even though I'm not doing the review reply outtake, I still love to get them. I promise. Just a handful more chapters until you see how I plan to resolve the story. One more chapter is coming this week and hopefully a Christmas outtake – although they'll probably both be posted on Christmas. If you don't read this before then…Merry Christmas to each and every one of you…Happy Holidays for those that don't celebrate.<strong>


	20. Revelations

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**To my peeps, Suzie55, LemonMartinis, and TwiloverSue. You guys have been my total inspiration to continue doing this thing. I owe you more than I can say. I must also acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me in keeping it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherriola. **

**I know I promised to update on Sundays, but my hubby just informed me that we need to leave earlier in the morning for the family affair than first expected. Knowing my six kids will be up running around at daybreak, I figured I might actually forget to post. So Merry early Christmas.**

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><p>Bella POV<p>

"Come, Isabella. I have my car and driver in the underground garage. I'll take you home," Aro said elegantly at my side.

I knew the tone. There was something he wanted to talk with me about. I'd learned this man well over the years. In a way he'd filled in for Charlie, becoming almost like a surrogate father, but in so many other ways, he was just my friend. I nodded softly to let him know that I understood.

"I'll go out the front and deal with the press," _He_ indicated.

"You'll keep your mouth shut now," Emmett added. "You've accomplished what you wanted to do, so now you are going to do what we agreed upon; you're going to remain quiet from here on out. We'll go out there to provide the coverage, but the only person speaking is me."

I wanted to giggle at the authority in Emmett's voice and couldn't help but internally grin when _He_ didn't argue with him.

"Bella?" _He_ called out as Aro started to lead me from the room. "My request?"

_His_ tone was actually very appropriate, questioning with just a touch of pleading, but aware of the fact he was walking on thin ice with me.

Aro actually stopped for me to answer. "I have little time over the next few weeks. I'll be gone on tour for the next two weeks and then afterward…" I almost hesitated nervous about what I was considering "…I have some personal business to attend to."

"At your convenience, as I said," _He_ remained adamant.

"I'll give your request consideration," I said, giving little before tugging Aro's arm forward, letting him know I wanted to leave.

I heard the heavy step before smelling Emmett. "BB, I'll call you," he said softly.

I couldn't help but reach out to touch him. Meeting his arm, I was reminded of the solidness of Emmett. "Okay Em."

I heard _Him_ say softly just before I walked through the door, "Thank for coming, Bella, and for considering my plea."

~SOMP~

Breathing came easier as I slid into the back of Aro's Maybach.

"Isabella, I would like to speak with you at your home, with Jacob and Leah present. Are you up for that?" Aro asked quietly.

"Of course," I said in a rush. Actually, that he would ask in that manner made me nervous and curious at the same time. Having turned to him, my look must have given something away.

"My Dear, I have earned your trust over the years, have I not?"

"Yes."

"Trust me in this, then. There is much I would like to discuss, but I know that your young Jacob will want to be there with you."

"Okay." Reaching to my watch I pressed the button. It was much later than I'd expected. "Aro, Carlie and Seth will be home. We'll have to make arrangements for them."

"I'll order that pizza that young Seth is so fond of. That will keep them occupied for a time, but I suspect that Carlie is going to want to know what has occurred."

"Certainly."

Aro knew me well and other than placing the order for the pizza at the specialty place I wasn't so sure he didn't own, he remained quiet on the trip home, giving me time to think and process what had occurred. _His _words kept ricocheting through my mind. "A chance." "To hopefully rectify the wrongs I did in the past. A chance to become something to Carlie, a chance to make amends…" "to let you know how wrong I was and how truly sorry I am."

What had he been "wrong" about? He'd wronged me, not listening, not explaining why I'd been banished and replaced so easily. He'd wronged Carlie by not taking my phone calls and thereby not being involved in her life until now. But the way he'd said it made it seem that he'd been wrong about something in addition to what he'd done. I realized then that Carlie knew, at least in part; he'd told her. "Mama, he told me everything. He told me how he treated you, and the things he said. He admitted to it all." It would seem he'd told her more than I'd imagined during their visit. Suddenly, a deep hearted conversation between me and my daughter became imperative. Aro might distract Seth with pizza, but I'd have to send Jacob out for more ice cream. It seemed that Carlie and I needed another mother-daughter moment.

It made me wonder if there might be something to it as to why Carlie had acted the way she had about Demetri. Suddenly, I was very interested in hearing what _He'd_ told Carlie, and to some degree, the realization made me just the slightest bit interested in actually hearing what _He_ had to say. But my curiosity had always gotten me in trouble, so I wasn't all that sure I should listen to that "interest."

I didn't realized I'd become agitated in my thoughts until Aro took my hand and held it with his.

"Have I ever told you that if Sulpicia and I had been blessed with a child, I would want her to be like you?"

Grinning at his words, I turned to him and chuckled. "Yes, you have many times over, but I usually hear them when you've done something for which you are going to attempt to gain my forgiveness. Is this one of those times?"

He barked out in laughter first before assuring me no. Within a few minutes, we pulled into the driveway, and I heard him request for his driver to travel to the pizzeria and return as quickly as possible. I heard the door to the house open almost immediately, but instead of Carlie's voice, I heard Jake.

"Sam and Paul are keeping them entertained."

"Aro's ordered pizza to feed everyone, he wants to speak with us," I said quickly and heard him groan.

"Pizza from Johnny's?" he responded in a covetous tone. He was such a man.

"I ordered enough for some to be left over for you, Jacob," Aro amusedly said.

"Yeah, right! You haven't seen my cousins eat. Let me get Leah and threaten them to leave me something."

Within a minute, I sat on my couch, bottled water in hand ready to hear whatever Aro had to say. Leah sat down beside me, and I was grateful to feel her comforting presence. Little was I to know that Aro was about to drop a bombshell.

"I'm not one for pomp and circumstance." Jacob and my snickering interrupted him, but he persevered through our apparent disagreement. "So I won't attempt to make this story pretty. About 17 years ago, I represented the Cullens in a fairly horrific court case. Actually, two fairly horrific court cases."

An uneasy feeling made my scalp tingle. Aro had never shared this…but of course, why would he? Until just a few days ago, he had no reason to know I'd even known them.

"My first contact with them was really just as a consultation. You see, Carlisle and I have known each other since he was in his late teens. His father, who started up Cullen Enterprises, died when Carlisle was still young. He despised his son, so the elder left him nothing, basically destitute. Carlisle was too soft hearted for him."

I wanted to argue the point, but somehow even I could admit that what I'd seen of Carlisle, how I'd been treated, was in direct contradiction to what the world thought of him. I'd listened to the newspaper articles, the stories of good deeds, etc…

"Anyhow, whether it be thought of as greed or just good common sense, Carlisle found me, hired me with a retainer of $10, and asked me to review the will. I found the case enthralling, and of course found the loophole that rendered the latest will invalid, legally forcing the system to revert back to the previous one…one that left everything to his son." I was certain that Aro had earned a fine penny from the deal as well. "Carlisle placed the company in Marcus' hands while he completed college, and then studied under him during Medical school. I was at Carlisle's and Esme's wedding, Isabella."

I gasped at the small world I'd lived in.

"The hectic pace of family and business caused us to revert back to casual contact…here and there; however, Marcus had more to do with Carlisle than me. Carlisle actually attempted to steal Marcus from me, offering him the financial reigns of the company. Well, maybe that is a harsh statement, he attempted to hire Marcus…and I guess, in effect, our company to manage the money. Marcus was deep within another merger and didn't feel he was capable of giving Carlisle the attention he would need. He referred Carlisle to a good friend of ours…Eleazar Denali. Tanya's father."

Pain tore through me, and I couldn't help but gasp. I heard Jacob snarl from across the room. Aro barely paused, and I was almost grateful for that.

"It was a match made in heaven, and Carlisle's company prospered far beyond anything it would have under his father's myopic tutelage. They had Emmett, Edward, and then Alice, and to most it seemed a fairytale. It wasn't. Before you met Alice, she was brutally raped and attacked…"

I went numb…WHAT? Noises seemed to come at me from all sides and it took a moment to realize I'd stood. Leah was telling me to sit, and Aro's voice finally broke through the otherworldly feel.

"Isabella, you need to sit down. There is much more to this story."

Raped? Attacked? But…she'd never said anything. Visions of Alice spinning to look behind us as if she was scared ran through my mind. Her skittish "eyes in the back of her head" behavior suddenly took on a different flavor.

Aro continued. "Edward was the one to find her and the attacker. He walked in on the scene and scared the boy off, staying with Alice until help arrived and long afterward…he saved her life, but the crime scene photos were fairly graphic." I couldn't breathe…feeling like I was going to vomit. "Alice recovered, but it took months. The boy was arrested and remained in prison until he was given a slick public defender who convinced the judge the boy was mentally ill. He remained in the psych ward during the trial and to this day. I represented the Cullens in conjunction with the DA's office."

This time Leah gasped from beside me.

"The trial was a public affair; however in the end, the boy was found guilty. But, he was given a sentence to complete under psychological treatment."

"I thought that generally individuals like that were found not-guilty by reasons of insanity," Jacob's shaken voice came from across the room.

"You had convincing contradictory evidence, didn't you," Leah's voice came clearly.

"Yes, we did. The boy had planned it all. He garnered Edward's friendship as a way to access the family and was after their money. When his bid failed and landed him in prison and his family shame, the mother went after Carlisle. She attempted to discredit his name and professional reputation by having a woman claim to have had a forced sexual relationship with him…at the hospital."

Horror washed over me like a tidal wave. "What is it going to take for your kind to realize that we protect our own!" The harsh voice came from my memory, the face of the security guard. "Get off the property or I'll have you thrown in jail."

I couldn't handle it anymore, jumping up to find my way behind the couch. Like Jake and Leah's house, I'd made sure there was an open pathway for me to pace when I was upset.

"Isabella?"

"Just keep going," I forced out, already working a pathway in the floor.

"The charges were proven false, and it was determined that the boy's mother was the culprit. She was charged as well, but given only probation. She moved from Seattle and is living in Texas, last account. Esme had had enough. The family packed up and moved to Forks."

Jacob appeared beside me and his hands wrapped around my arms in a comforting manner. His touch calmed my fears and agitation…as he had since we were kids.

"Ironic that you would provide Isabella comfort in that manner, Jacob. Do you know how the two of you often look to others? The level of intimacy that you project. It actually even took me awhile to accept your unique relationship. I understand you have been together since you were children, but if someone didn't know the level of intimacy between Jacob and Leah, it would be easy to misinterpret your affection."

Those words stopped me in my tracks. "WHAT do you mean?" Jacob and I both swore out at the same time.

"Leah, may I show you something?"

All I heard was the crackle of paper and then moments of unending silence…except for what sounded like the slide of paper across paper.

"What are they?" Jacob finally growled out to Leah.

"Cleverly crafted pictures, that if I didn't know better were of two lovers. You and Bella."

"WHAT?" he roared and actually left me standing, I assumed to go to her. "Let me see!" More moments of silence. "What the hell…" Jacob finally said gruffly.

"Leah!" I finally said in panic. "Please, what are you looking at?"

"Pictures of you and Jake. You are hugging each other quite intimately. In most of the pictures, your hands are gripping his shirt and his lips are on your forehead, but honestly, in the one I'm holding…the way you are turned…you look like you are kissing." She said it with clinical detachment.

"But…but…" I couldn't get anything out.

"Hush, Bella, I'm not speaking from jealousy, just a neutral eye. I think that is what you were hoping to get, right Aro?"

"I wanted to hear what you thought when you saw them."

"Jake? I don't understand?" I said hoarsely.

"I have no clue, Bella. Hang on; let me look at them a little more."

"Describe them to me! I mean the background?"

"Background?"

"Damnit Jake, where were we?"

"The diner," he finally breathed out. "We were at the diner. You're wearing that horrible pull over that you wore the whole time you were pregnant."

"How big was I?" I couldn't get past the idea that the Cullens knew that I'd been pregnant.

"You were tiny, I can't tell anything Bella."

"How could you, considering how close the two of you are," Leah said, and I quickly stumbled toward her, unbelieving that she might think we'd been involved. Thank God her soft voice came quickly, just before I felt her fingers entwine with mine. "Bella, stop! I didn't mean for it to come out that way. It is an observation, clear and simple. That is what Aro wanted us to see though…that these pictures are very incriminating. Honestly, these have be taken in a way to make it look bad, I think? Where did you get them Aro?"

"From Tanya Denali Martling."

"That was what was in that envelope that Carlisle gave you?" Leah snarled.

"Absolutely not. These are what I acquired when I visited her after reading the letter she sent."

Spinning to Aro, my hands clenched into fists. "What?"

"You said I could do what I wanted with the letter; I opened and read it…but only after you gave me the permission." Even amidst my anger and confusion, I couldn't help but grin at him. "Then, I made a little trip to Portland, where she resides with her husband."

"First, let me read you the letter, Isabella."

"I'm not sure…"

"Isabella, trust me," his comforting voice overrode the sickness I felt in my stomach. Aro had never steered me wrong.

"Ok…"

Dear Ms. Swan,

I was contacted by my parents and told that the Cullens had finally found you. I'm not surprised.

I have often thought to track you down myself, but in reality, my shame has held me back. Now, it would seem that I must face my darkest secret.

I manipulated the Cullens at a time when they were most vulnerable. Those words are of course the words of a thirty year old woman, not the thoughts of a teenager. At the time, I just wanted what I wanted and was willing to do whatever it took to get it.

I slowly planted lies in an insidious way, built a story of love, lust, and betrayal, and then supplemented it with pictures that destroyed everything.

I won't presume to know how you feel. Honestly, I can't even imagine. However, my shame was compounded when I was informed that I not only had a hand in destroying your relationship with the Cullens, but that of an innocent child. As a soon to be mother, the reality of that perhaps hit me harder than what I did to you.

I don't expect that I will receive forgiveness from you. Most would say that we were equals at that time, but in reality, you were just an innocent in a game I was all too familiar with. So I will apologize for the time I cost your child in not knowing her father and family.

One day, when you might like to know the whole of it, I am more than willing to speak with you. There is much more that I could tell you that needs to be said in person. For now, suffice it to say that I apologize for what my actions cost you.

Tanya Martling

"Such a pretty piece of nothing," Jake responded, basically stating what I thought.

"Yes, I agree," Aro indicated. "But, I didn't expect much more out of her, so truly that is actually a very deep level of understanding for that woman. She is spoiled; has been since she was a child. Her beauty has always gained her everything she wanted, so to be denied anything was a tremendous challenge to her way of thinking. One she was determined to correct. I wanted to know how the Cullens could have been convinced by her. They are not ignorant individuals and should have seen through the manipulation. So I went to see her myself to get a better understanding."

"And did you?" The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I'm still not sure what this is about. What could she have told them that would cause them to turn from me in such a manner? And why the pictures?"

Hearing Leah chuckle harshly I turned to her, wanting to know the source. "Bella, your heart is so pure that it has gone above your head, hasn't it. Come sit by me," she begged, and only started talking again once I had and she could hold my hand. "Correct me if I am wrong, Aro, but I think I have the gist of it. Bella, Tanya convinced the Cullens that you were out for their money, just like the boy that had attacked Alice. She, a girl from a family they trusted and had for years, told them lies and then had someone follow you and Jake around until they caught you in an embrace that could be construed as if you were lovers. I've figured the picture out finally. This is the night you told Jake you were pregnant. I arrived at the Diner just afterward and we admitted to you that I was as well."

"She probably knew she'd hit a gold mine then. I bet the printing press almost exploded from the speed by which she had these developed. I would be almost certain that she specifically convinced Edward that he'd been played again…and had been used for another predator to enter into their house. That, not the money, was his true devastation, I would guess. He most likely held himself responsible for what happened to his sister…and thought he'd been duped again…" she left off in insinuation.

NO! No… I'd loved him. He wouldn't have believed that would he? If he'd really believed that, wouldn't he have come against me and attempted to destroy me instead of the silence I'd received. If money had been the motive, the silence would make sense, but to think I would be so manipulative…that would have deserved payback. No…I'd only gotten silence. Well…except for when I'd finally cornered him in the cafeteria. That had been a confrontation of monstrous proportions. I could still remember the hate and derision imprinted across his face. It was the last time I'd seen Him, and the vision had supplanted all others in my mind.

My breaths were coming in short gasps, and I could sense that Jacob was as agitated. His next words confirmed it. "Bella and I have never been anything other than friends, or perhaps really more like a sister and brother. I have loved Leah since she was 14 and knocked me in the head with a baseball bat, although Bella had to help us to see it."

"Yes, I understand, but even you can see how convincing those photos might be to someone who was already grappling with the repercussions of being betrayed." Aro's voice came softly.

"Jake?" I gurgled out, because this was one time using him as my eyes was painful.

"Bella…we look like we are kissing. There are no two ways about it. The rest of them look like we are in a passionate conversation, which we were, but not about each other. We were discussing Seth and Carlie…before we ever knew them as Seth and Carlie."

Shock settled in and crept down my body like a cold wave. "I was stupid enough to believe you loved me, get out of my face. I don't want to ever see you again, bitch." Oh God. If Jacob admitted to the fact that the pictures looked incriminating…how must it have looked to them, to him.

"This wasn't the last time your special relationship perpetuated the misunderstanding and gave further fodder to the chaos."

"What do you mean? Did she have other pictures?" Jake forced out.

"No, it has to do with Carlisle."

"What?" I'd finally found my voice and forced it back through my frozen throat.

"The day you went to see him in the hospital, the day you were escorted out…he meant for them to take you to his office where he could address your privately."

"Because of what had occurred so publically with the other woman," Leah guessed and her guess was confirmed by Aro's affirmative grunt.

"The staff in Carlisle's hospitals are particularly loyal to him. You know that positions with them are highly prized and there is a reason. His employees feel valued, and that one would be enticed by money to betray him was a slap in the face to many. The security guard took it upon himself to get you away from Carlisle. He drove to Forks that evening to speak with you."

"He NEVER came to my house," I threw out with venom. If he had just done that, perhaps we could have figured out what had happened.

"Yes…he did," Aro said softly, but it was the pity I heard in his voice that stopped me from correcting him. "He drove up to your father's house, but stopped when he saw you and Jake on the front porch."

"Fuck!" Jake's voice echoed throughout my living room.

"WHAT?" My cry followed.

"That night, you sobbed for hours in my arms about how it was over…"

"So, I had the right to, Jake."

"I'm not arguing the point, Bella. You missed the important words. You…sobbed…in…my…arms."

Numb didn't even describe what I felt. "He saw us…"

"Yes." Aro's answer was simple. Disbelief and rage at the unfairness of it all filled me, so much so that I almost didn't hear Aro begin to speak again. "But in true Carlisle fashion, he couldn't let it go. He and Esme came back to Forks about a year and a half later to find you. They just needed to hear you say it to them, because in his words, 'I couldn't accept the dichotomy of what was implied and what I knew of her.'"

I wanted to shout out that he'd never come to me, but I held my tongue, because suddenly I knew he had. What had stopped them this time from talking to me? Talk about the comedy of all errors.

"A Potlatch? What is that Jacob? Forgive me for not being as astute to your culture as I should be."

No! No! NO! I couldn't stop the tears that flowed from my eyes then. "He saw Jake leading me around, didn't he? Were Carlie and Seth with us?"

"Yes. Something to the effect that you were walking into the building, your arm through his. Carlie was on Jacob's shoulders, Seth was walking. It looked like…"

"One big happy family," Leah interrupted. "They thought Carlie was Jacob's?" Her tone was disbelieving. Even at one Carlie's eyes had unmistakably been his. I'd known the gossip on La Push, but the Quileute didn't share with the Pale Faces, so it hadn't mattered that they knew who Carlie's father was.

"They were able to catch a glimpse of Seth's face, but not Carlie's." Aro let this new information sink in before beginning again. "They returned home, never to speak to anyone of what they'd found."

"And Carlisle asked you to share this with me?" I asked, astounded at what I'd just learned.

"Quite the contrary, he asked me to keep it in confidence until he could speak with you."

My mouth must have been a wide "O" at his words.

"I lied and told him I would. I don't owe my allegiance to the Cullens, Isabella. That is yours and yours alone in this debacle," he explained his perfidy and although it should have bothered me…it didn't. My slight snicker at his actions encouraged him to continue.

"Edward almost died on them several times, and honestly they spent a great majority of their time attempting to save him, which is the partial explanation for why they waited so long to come back. They are human, and I believe they were hurt as well."

"Died?" It was barely a croak that escaped from my mouth, focusing on the first part of what he'd said. Died? The pain that lashed through me was immense and at a level I didn't want to acknowledge.

"You know that he fell in with Tanya…which she manipulated expertly. In many ways, Edward was as naïve as you…Isabella. She led him to cocaine as a way to control him, but she was a stupid fool. He'd never dealt with his guilt about Alice, thought he'd been manipulated by you, and that he'd let the family down…a ticking time-bomb really. Marcus knows more, because Carlisle consulted with him about the best places to put Edward. Nothing worked until finally they kept him at home. Carlisle took a year off work, and they hired a private physician and therapist to help clean the boy out. I believe he was twenty two when he finally kicked it and began to pick up the pieces. School came next, then medical school. Anyhow, that is irrelevant to this conversation."

"Tanya finally came clean with what she'd done about seven years afterward, and the torment began again. Edward was determined for a short period of time to find you, to make amends, but then he terminated the process without explanation. Carlisle never pressed the issue, realizing that to find you with Jacob, happy with a family, knowing that what he'd believed was unfounded, but that a relationship had grown and blossomed…well, Carlisle believed that it would destroy Edward again and that was something he couldn't risk. Edward had barely gotten back on the right track as it was."

"Because they still believed that Carlie and Seth were Jacob and Bella's." Leah had obviously already worked it all out.

"Yes."

My mind raced around everything I'd just learned, unable to really comprehend it. So many bad things, so many coincidences, so many bad decisions. I'd never really shared the incident with Alice in full with anyone, but I could recognize something now that I'd never understood…the fear in Alice's eyes when I'd rushed to her. I'd only wanted the comfort of my best friend, but how had it seemed to her?

"How bad was Alice, Aro?" I asked hoarsely.

"Bad, Isabella. She was 14 when it happened…Carlie's age."

Agony ripped through me thinking of how such an incident would affect my daughter, how it would most likely scar her for life and shape the way she viewed everything.

"He raped her?"

"Yes, but there was more…he attacked her with a knife and mutilated her stomach and…" he hesitated in an embarrassed manner "…private areas. She spent months in the hospital undergoing corrective surgeries."

Through my horror at what happened, I analyzed what I might have looked like to Alice that day. I still couldn't find it within me to forgive her, for not helping me, but I could rationally see why she might have reacted the way she did.

Shit! It took me a moment to realize that Jake had said what I was feeling. "What a fucking mess," he followed up. Then he growled. "What exactly do you hope to gain by revealing all of this Aro? Do you hope to gain sympathy for them? Perhaps, Bella should be questioning your allegiance and motives."

Aro chuckled softly. "No…I will willingly admit that I've always held Carlisle in some level of esteem, and I saw the wraith that was Edward Cullen, so I know the suffering he went through…although it was all of his own making. However, my allegiance will always be with Isabella. She is my child, Jacob. Sulpicia and I may not have birthed her, or shared her early years, but I couldn't love her more if she was mine biologically."

I felt the couch dip beside me then and knew that he'd come to sit beside me.

"You needed to know. It would have all come out sooner or later, and I have sat and watched your face throughout this entire revelation. You have filtered through the range of emotions from hate to hurt as you thought of what had not only happened to you, but them as well. I want you to be strong, and you can do that for me. But you, My Dear, have one of the biggest hearts I know, and at least this way you'll have time to digest the background of what occurred, and be able to face them head on without your heart ruling you. Quite honestly, I don't believe that Edward will use any of this as an excuse for the mistakes he made, but he is dealing with the consequences of allowing his feelings and emotions to overrule his logical sense. I wanted to save you that possibility. You'll have the upper hand for when you negotiate what relationship you two will salvage out of this mess and _that_…" he said the last word with emphasis "…is what I want for you."

He really did love me, this seemingly ancient Italian man. I understood exactly what he was saying and why he'd done what he'd done.

"Thank you," I said softly, unable to really put into words what his actions meant to me. He was protecting me, but at the same time, giving me the skills to stand on my own. I thanked God above, once again, that he'd sent Aro and his family my way. In some small way, I wondered for not the first time, if Charlie had had something to do with it…my guardian angel.

"Now, since I've done a little revealing on my own…what is this about 'personal plans' you mentioned?"

I was constantly amazed at Aro's intelligence. He was leading me away from the painful information he'd just given me, while at the same time, utilizing my weakness at the moment to pilfer through my thoughts.

"Wouldn't you like to know…" I snickered through the remaining tears.

"Yes, I would," he barked out.

"What plans?" Jacob mimicked his question.

Well if this day was all about revelations, I might as well put it all out for discussion. "I've arranged for the corrective surgery. Felix has contacted a friend of his who is renown in the field, and after I return from my book signings, I'll begin preparing. We have to wait another two weeks because he had other obligations."

"Bella!" Jacob roared out, and I was snatched up into his arms for a bear hug that rivaled Emmett's. "This is amazing news! I can't believe Felix finally won the argument for us. If he wasn't a man…I'd kiss him!" he said happily, Leah's happy words joining his.

"Isabella, I can't tell you how happy this makes me as well. Felix has done the research? This man is the best?" Aro questioned quickly.

"He is one of the best, Felix said, and he owes Felix a favor so he is coming here so that I don't have to travel."

"Che meraviglia!" Aro added, and I relished in the excitement of my small family.

"Wait!" I called a halt to the party. "I need to tell Carlie, Seth, and Samantha as well. I was waiting until we were all together and now I've spoiled it."

"No, No! We'll act appropriately surprised," Aro added in almost boyish excitement. "Let's call them over…"

"Tell them to bring the pizza!" Jacob spoke over him, as I pulled out my phone to call the main house.

As we waited the scarce minute it would take them to get to us, I leaned over to Aro and patted his arm affectionately. "Thank you. I'm still reeling, but I'm putting it aside for the moment to share the good news with Carlie."

"As was my intention, My Dear. They still have a long way long to go to earn my forgiveness and respect again, but at least I know my strong and prepared daughter will be able to handle whatever they throw out."

It made me happy to know as well that I wouldn't have to ask Carlie about what her father had said to her. I knew now, more than he could have ever told her…a mishmash of all the pertinent parties and perspectives. And although what had occurred explained why they reacted they ways they did…it didn't explain how they could have believe it of me…or stopped loving me. For that, I couldn't let go of my hurt. I wasn't sure I ever could.

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><p><strong>Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa! Or whatever other celebration you may choose to observe. Here's wishing you and yours a wonderful time from me and mine!<strong>

**Reviewers get an outake of Aro and Tanya. Snicker.**


	21. White Christmas

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**To ****TwiloverSue who did an emergency beta job on this on Christmas Eve of all times! You are the best. If you haven't gone over to read her stories Once Bitten and A Forbidden Love – you are totally missing out.**

**If you are clicking on this chapter first - go back, the normal chapter was posted just before! ;)**

**Just a short AN… This is of course Edward and Bella's first Christmas…from Edward's POV. Just a little present from me to you...**

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><p>"Mom?"<p>

Music from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir filtered through the house filling it with Christmas music, and somewhere within it, the person I needed was most likely transforming another room into a winter wonderland. The smell of something savory, most likely a hearty pot roast, combined with the scent of the turkey, multiple casseroles, pies, the Christmas tree and boughs to create the sense of what I could only describe as "home."

"MOM!"

This time, I put enough volume to it that hopefully the miracle maker would be able to hear me over the music and her perpetual humming. Forks was good for my mom, the light was back in her eyes, and I could honestly say that the house looked and felt better than any other we'd lived in. Moving into the expertly decorated living room, I couldn't help the smirk that took over my face seeing the old albums leaning up against the wall. Emmett had attempted to get her to buy CD's to replace them all, but she'd refused.

"There is nothing like dancing with your father to the sound of Christmas music on old records. It has to have that scratchy sound to make it just right."

How many times had I walked in to find them dancing slowly together, my mother's cheek resting against my father's chest, just above his heart. I wanted that…the sense of two pieces coming together to make the whole. Which was why I needed her right now.

"MOM!"

"Keep your knickers on she's down in the basement looking for the box that contains our handmade ornaments," Emmett's voice boomed down the staircase.

"EM!" His name broke out of my lips as I ran to him for an appropriate "brotherly" hug. He, of course, about broke my back with the strength of his squeeze. "What time did you get home?" He'd stayed at school several extra days on his break to help a friend move.

"Lunch time. Ma had a huge spread laid out. Had to take a nap afterward."

The words were mere grunts as he rubbed his ridiculously over-muscled stomach. I knew he was eating well at college, but my mother's cooking was only rivaled by Bella's. Rolling my eyes at him, I realized the need to still find my mom was overwhelming. The package was burning a hole in my pocket.

"What's got you a flutter?" he teased.

"I'll tell you later, but I want to talk with mom first." He shrugged noncommittally, but I could see the interest clear in his dark eyes. "I promise Em!"

"Sure. Where's the munchin, by the way?"

Ah…a moment of reckoning. "Dad was taking her for her checkup."

Anger flashed over his face for a moment, but then it was quickly replaced. He was better at controlling it than me. "What time will they be home?"

"Soon, I was actually thinking they'd already be back."

"Well then go, you're obviously wanting some of Mom's time to yourself. You better hurry before dad gets home. I saw the records…" he nodded toward the old vinyl player.

Grinning, I moved toward the stairs.

"What time is Bella Baby getting here?"

His words stopped me in my steps. I couldn't help the smile that broke across my face at hearing her name. "Soon, which is why I need…"

"Go! Stay down there as long as you like. It'll give me the opportunity to talk her out of this lunacy. I am clearly a better choice for her than you," he threw out, the look on his face sincere in the teasing way only Emmett could employ.

"In your dreams!" I yelled back, taking the stairs down into the basement by twos. His chuckling followed me down into the huge area that had been turned into a game room for us.

"Mom?"

"Here," her muffled reply came from the huge closet under the stairs just before she poked her head out like a hermit crab. "I could have sworn that I put the box with your ornaments down here."

"It's on the top shelf, let me get it." Eager for her to see my surprise, I reached into my pocket and handed her the box. "Hold this for me." She wouldn't be able to resist, and when her gasp came through the open door, I felt comfortable to finally ask. "Do you think she'll like it?"

"Edward, its exquisite. Just perfect."

Seeing the tears in her light brown eyes…I knew that we'd gotten it right. "It's not too much? Or too simple? I was afraid that just getting the sapphire would be too little, but I knew that if I put the diamonds on it, she'd have a fit. I just…"

Her finger against my lips stopped my anxiety driven tirade, and I watched as she traced the delicate setting with her fingertip. A startlingly blue heart lay in a delicate but sturdy "bird's nest." The nest and necklace were made of platinum, and the way in which the artisan had fashioned the material, it appeared delicate and ethereal. The blue heart appeared to almost be tangled up in the delicate "twigs" that had been fashioned into the nest…almost like the bird had secured and protected the precious stone with her creation.

Just like Bella had captured and now harbored my heart.

The bird's nest was symbolic of the moment I'd realized I loved her. I'd taken her on a hike on the trails behind our house, and not too far into the wood line we'd unexpectedly come upon a bird's nest that had been blown down by a storm the previous night. Lying just at the edge of the trail, we'd startled the mother bird away. One look at Bella's eyes and I'd known she was devastated by the fact that the baby chicks would be in such danger from predators.

"You know the old wive's tale that you can't touch a bird or the mother won't take it back is false," I'd said, very grateful in that moment for all the Boy Scout trips that my dad had taken Emmett and me on as children. I was just a boy trying to impress his girl.

"Seriously?" she attempted to smile through the already dripping tears. The babies had begun to chirp out for their mother and the sound was quite plaintive.

Looking up, I sighted the area where the nest had previously resided. It wasn't too far up, and hopefully if I fell, Bella would be able to get back to the house quick enough to get me help. The risk was worth it to impress her and see her smile. The problem was it would fall out again if I put it up there…but…if I could figure a way to provide a better foundation? My answer came when I sighted another branch that had fallen. The end of an oak limb, it was a chaotic mess of leaves, twigs, and smaller limbs…perfect to fill in the V of the branches where the next had previously resided.

It didn't take me long to scurry up and tie it off with some twine I carried in my daypack…always the prepared Boy Scout. When I turned to go back down to get the nest, my heart literally about stopped. My klutzy girlfriend had climbed the tree as well and clung to the trunk, the nest and baby birds within cradled to her chest. Seeing her conquer her fears, while at the same time caretaking the baby chicks so delicately, had been the final straw. When she smiled back at my shaking head, my heart gave way, and I knew what I'd been scared to admit. I loved Bella Swan with all my heart.

We hid up the trail and waited silently for what seemed like hours, but the mother bird finally returned and hearing her babies' calls from above, flew to her resurrected home. When she settled over the babies, warming them, Bella's hand squeezed mine, and just like the Grinch, I felt as if my heart grew three sizes that day.

So, the large sapphire heart cradled within the gossamer but resilient twined twigs of Bella's Christmas present were a symbolic representation of my love for her. It had been a struggle to open up so fully for me, but I was helpless against the reckoning force that was Bella Swan. I planned to tell her tonight…to tell her I loved her, and the Christmas present my mother had helped me design would hopefully remind her of that even when we were apart. Charlie had insisted that she would spend Christmas Day in their traditional manner with Jacob Black's family, so my family had moved our celebration to Christmas Eve. I was just hoping that Chief Swan would allow us to see each other later on in the day. I knew he was leery of me and of my and Bella's relationship. He was a father, I understood that. In actuality, he should be concerned because although I loved his daughter beyond all hope, I also lusted after her with the same intensity.

"Edward, she is going to love this," my mother breathed out and then smiled brilliantly.

It was easy to see how my father loved my mother so much. Her external beauty was amazing, but it was the spirit that resided within her heart and soul that made her so stunning. It was the same for Bella. I knew the theory that boys fell in love with their mothers, and indeed, I wouldn't deny that the girl that had won my heart was very much like mine.

"I hope so; she is so picky about gifts. I'm afraid that she will pitch a fit if she finds out how much I spent." I was more nervous about that than I wanted to admit. It'd cost my entire life savings, all my newspaper money, the dollars I'd put back during the summers working at camps, birthdays, Christmases. My Fender Stratocaster fund… It was worth it. I could always find a guitar, but I only had once chance at a first Christmas.

"Maybe you'll get lucky and she won't ask."

"I wouldn't be so fortunate." I shrugged but then couldn't help but smile seeing the sparkle of the blue stone. "Would you wrap it for me? If I do it, it'll be a sacrilege."

She patted my arm softly before putting me out of my misery. "I would love to! You're giving it to her tonight?"

At my nod, she smiled softly. "I've placed the mistletoe on the arch by the fireplace."

"MOM!" I felt the flush that stole across my cheekbones and face, cursing, not for the first time, my Irish ancestry.

Her eyes twinkled mischievously, and it was impossible to remain mad at her.

"You're adorable when you blush!"

I groaned at her teasing. Why couldn't I have gotten the dark coloring from the Platt side of the family like Emmett and Alice, instead of my father's side? At the least, I could have gotten his blond hair and blue eyes instead of my grandmother's reddish hair and green eyes. Em's favorite nickname for me when we were kids had been Leprechaun. Hearing a bark of laughter from above us, I realized that Bella must have arrived. The sound would be Emmett harassing her.

Noticing my distraction she patted my arm. "Go on and keep her upstairs. I have the perfect paper in here."

Setting the box of ornaments down on the card table, I winked at her and then ran up the stairs like a man on fire. Stopping in the doorway, I grinned like a fool at the scene before me.

"Emmett, when are you going to find some nice girl?" Bella stood beside my beast of a brother, looking like a delicate china doll in comparison. They were placing some of the filler ornaments on the tree.

"Why would I want to do that? I'm the man on campus, the women flock to me, red heads, blondes…brunettes." Through the mass of evergreen branches, he waggled his eyebrows at her in a lecherous way.

She snorted in reaction. "Pluh…ease. Let me talk to them, and I'll tell them how you snore like a bear when you fall sleep."

"Won't matter, because you're missing the point; I don't do a lot of sleeping around them."

Bella's tinkling laughter joined his booming noise.

"One day your 'man' ways are going to catch up to you, Emmett," she teased.

"OH! I hope so," he threw back at her, rubbing his hands in "maniacal glee" like an old-time villain planning to rob a maiden of her virtue.

"When I meet the woman who brings you to your knees…I'm going to tell her all the stories I've heard about you," Bella threatened him. "Em…need your help here," she indicated, pointing to a branch far above her head.

He moved quickly to grip her waist and raise her up to where she was pointing. I was strong, but not enough to do that for her.

"Thank you," she said quickly when he put her back to the floor.

"You know, you could just help me out with that," he was going back to her threat. "Dump that puny brother of mine and runaway with me." He flexed impressively then looked over to where I was standing and winked at me in a conspiring manner.

Bella laughed and bent at the waist, smacking her legs. "We'd kill each other Em. Nah, I'll stick with Edward."

"Good thing, because I'd haunt you if you left me," I said, finally letting her know of my presence.

Spinning, she grinned at me and the tell-tale blush graced her cheeks this time. "Edward…" she murmured before moving to me. When our fingers intertwined, it was as if I could breathe again.

~SOMP~

"Mrs. Cullen…"

"Esme, please Bella. 'Mrs. Cullen' makes me sound so old."

Bella glanced at me from under her long eyelashes, and I squeezed her hand softly under the table, letting her know that my mom wouldn't be denied.

"Esme…" the name came out hesitantly "…you are a wonderful cook. I would love to have the recipe for your sweet potato soufflé."

"Done." Alice threw in. "I know where the recipe book is!"

She bounced up and down in the seat, and I was absolutely as astounded as my parents to see it. Usually, she was morose after her appointments, taking days, sometimes weeks to get back to some sense of normal. Bella grinned over to her in a conspiratorial way, and it wasn't too difficult to imagine that she would be in possession of all my mother's recipes before the end of the night. It would be too much to hope that Alice would sit Bella down and tell her our secret. I was leaving it to her, to let me know when the time was right. Certainly, it would have to be before their first sleep over…which I was counting on soon. Alice wouldn't be able to explain away the nightmares easily.

"I'll test any recipe you want to make," Emmett volunteered. Honestly, how he could think about eating anything else, I didn't know. I was absolutely stuffed, and there was still dessert to go.

"Mom, Dad, why don't you go relax, and we'll clean up," I offered. It didn't take more than that for them to disappear. Within a few moments, we heard Sinatra start crooning, and Emmett rolled his eyes.

"Don't go in there BB. If you turn pink just seeing Edward across the room, you'll be crimson seeing the way those two act."

"I think it's great," she said softly. "I wished my dad could find someone, but fishing is his only love."

"Well, we can work on that!" Alice chirped in, and I could see the proverbial wheels spinning in her head.

While I scrubbed the dishes and then rinsed, Bella dried. Alice and Emmett focused on clearing the table, taking care of the leftovers, and putting away the dishes as we did it. When Bella bumped her hip to mine, I grinned.

"Hey handsome." She used a sultry voice.

Mistletoe be damned, after sitting beside her, hearing her laugh, and feeling her leg brush against mine all throughout dinner, I couldn't stand anymore and spun to pull her up for a kiss, groaning when her fingers laced through my hair and pulled me even harder into her. Angling to the side, I pressed her lips open with mine and the groan turned into a moan as I tasted her and felt her tongue brush mine. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pulled her even tighter to me, feeling her breasts press against my chest and her sex press against the ridge in my pants. When we finally broke apart, we were both gasping for breath.

"Breathe," Emmett teased as he came into the kitchen, causing me to put her down and us to break apart in a guilty manner. "Man, Ali, I don't know which kiss is steamier, the one we walked into here or the one that we just left."

Alice's face was a mixture of happiness and a tinge of fear. I'd asked her if my kissing Bella made her uncomfortable, and she'd rushed to assure me not, but I knew that it wasn't as carefree an experience as she attempted to present. Thankfully, Bella's embarrassment at Emmett's teasing covered up her reaction. She was beautiful with passion filled eyes and the pink staining her cheeks.

Giggling, she walked over and slung her arm around Alice's shoulder. My tiny sister jumped just slightly but then moved into Bella as if she was drawn to her. "Come on, Alice. Let's leave the rest to them to clean up and go watch Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers dance."

And with that, Emmett and I were left to clean up the rest of the pots. "I liked my other help mate better," I grumbled, having had more plans to taste my girlfriend's lips.

"What, my legs are as cute as her's!" he exclaimed. The look on his face told me he fully knew that he'd ruined my moment.

Glancing down to the tree trunks covered in dark hair that his long gym shorts exposed, I grunted in disagreement. "Don't you own a pair of pants?"

"Yeah, somewhere, but I look better in shorts. Even better without a shirt." He threw back at me.

"Dear Lord help us," I muttered, but with little fire. My big brother was impossible to stay mad at.

~SOMP~

"Edward, where are we going?"

Heaven, I thought, but didn't say that. "Somewhere special."

"Isn't this that trail where we found the baby birds?" she guessed accurately.

Lucky that I was facing the other direction, I let the grin that threatened to take over my face win.

"Huh? You know, you might be right." It was just about 100 yards on further up. My parents had thought I was crazy to take her out on the trail at Twilight, but as usual, they'd helped me set everything up.

"You know what, I think it might start snowing," she noted, and feeling the bite to the air, I realized she might be right. I would not get that lucky though…

Stopping, I turned to pull the cowl of her fur lined jacket up to protect her against the chill. The cold had brought out the redness to her cheeks and lips. Dark chocolate swirled within her eyes, pools of liquid delight in her alabaster skin. Something in my eyes must have given me away because she grinned and stepped closer to me with lustful appreciation. Groaning and pulling on everything I could find within me, I stepped back from her. Not yet…just a little farther down the trail. To distract her and me from the enticement, I reached inside the pockets of the coat and pulled out the warm gloves I'd put inside for her.

"Here," I held them up to help her put them on before I did the same.

She gasped when we turned the corner and she saw what had been done ahead. Under the abandoned bird's nest, my father had helped me dig a small pit and line it with rocks. A roaring fire had been built, and I knew that Emmett had probably just skirted into the woods…keeping watch over it until we arrived. He'd taken the path ahead of us and was at this moment giving us a wide berth as he went off the trail to circle around us and head back to the house. Right next to the fire was an oversized Adirondack chair with several warm blankets draped over the back. A picnic basket had been placed to the side of the chair; it contained two thermoses of hot chocolate and my Christmas present to her.

"What is this?" Bella exclaimed in a surprised voice.

"My Christmas surprise for you…with the help of my parents and siblings, of course."

Removing her glove covered hand from mine, she stepped around me and moved to stand just beside the fire, looking to the chair.

"Edward?" Looking back to me, I could tell she was totally confused.

"I wanted to come back here to give you my gift. Will you sit with me?" I nodded to the chair and when she responded with a quick head nod, I moved over to spread out one of the blankets in the chair as a protective layer.

Grabbing her hand, I pulled her to me and down onto my lap, then covering us with the others for warmth. Reaching inside the basket, I gave her one of the thermoses that Alice had prepared for me, taking the other. Removing our gloves, the warmth from the chocolate made it tolerable. Bella sat sideways across my lap so that I could see her face, and even though she was taking a sip of the steaming hot liquid, curiosity was imprinted across her face. I couldn't stand the anticipation.

"Bella, when we moved to Forks, I had no clue that I would meet anyone. I thought I'd finish off high school, apply to college, and then medical school…I had everything planned out. But life didn't give it to me like I planned; it seemed as if fate almost enjoyed sticking her hands in and stirring the pot. I still remember the first day I saw you, how quiet you were and how you kept to yourself. You intrigued me even then, but as I grew to know you, it was as if you wrapped your fingers around my very soul. I will admit that I fought it, unwilling to trust my ability to win your affections."

Reaching in to the basket I took out the small box and handed it to her.

"Open it," I begged softly.

"Uh huh, not until you open mine," she countered, holding up a small satchel.

"But, I'm on a roll," I whined, thinking of how afraid I was that I'd lose the words.

"I know, and that is why I want you to open your's first, I'm afraid I'll be crying by the time this is over. Please," she said holding up the bag just a little farther, her dark eyes imploring me. I was a sucker when she begged, and she knew it.

It was a simple drawstring bag. Opening it, I dumped the contents into my hand; it was a silver bracelet…but a unique one. It was a continuous chain of treble clefts, the bottom loop of the stylized letter linking to the top of the next one. The notes weren't exactly the same…and it was then that I realized that they were handcrafted; she hadn't gotten this from a jewelry store…

"This is beautiful…" but I shook my head at the description, it was too masculine to be beautiful. "Where did you get this?"

"Jacob's cousin, Paul. He works with silver…mostly items he sells at the reservation store to the tourists, but Jake helped convince him to do it for me." Ah…Jacob. "Actually, he owed Jake a favor, and Jake let me cash it in. Course now I owe him a favor, but most likely he'll just ask me to cook something up for him. Since his sisters left, he claims the only good meals he gets are when he comes over. Anyway…do you like it?" she asked in a hesitant tone. "It's not too girly is it?"

Running my fingertips over the links, I couldn't believe how perfect it was. "Absolutely not, but Bella this had to cost a lot…"

"Do you really want to go there right before I open my gift?" she challenged. "Anyhow, like I said, I cashed in the favor to get it made…and the silver, well…it was a hand me down."

"Hand me down!" Suddenly, I wasn't certain about taking it. "What kind of hand me down?"

She looked decidedly uncomfortable, but obviously realized I wasn't going to go further without an answer. "Ok! I was left several pieces of jewelry from my Grandmother Swan and I gave them to Paul to make this for you."

"But…that was your grandmother's jewelry, you shouldn't have! Bella, you can never get it back."

"I don't need it back, because it'll always be on you, right next to me."

The need to kiss her was intense…but not before I'd given her my present first. I wanted her to know first…to have the next time I touched her lips to be after I'd told her.

"Right next to you!" I swore out, knowing it meant that she felt the same way. Holding the bracelet out, I couldn't stop the trembling of my hand as she latched it around my left arm. Before I ruined the plan, I held my gift up next. "Please open it." My voice was hoarse, strained with the need to say the three little words.

Tearing into the beautiful bow my mother had fashioned, she ripped through the paper and then opened the lid.

"Edward…" she breathed out in a husky tone. As promised, tears began to run down her cheeks as she mimicked my earlier actions, brushing her fingertips across the sapphire and twigs that surrounded it. She sniffed several times before talking again. "That's why we came here..."

"Yes…" I shifted her slightly closer to me, our breaths coming out as clouds in the cold air between us. "You've captured and ensnared my heart, Bella. I knew it when we stopped here and you were intent on rescuing those birds, even putting yourself in danger to do it."

Her hand crept to mine and our fingers linked together. "How funny that we would both choose silver," she joked out in her characteristic manner of handling intense emotions.

Silver, indeed… Well at least I'd made it through that hurtle. Hopefully, she'd believe the sapphire was a crystal for now, but if she asked, I would tell her.

"Will you put it on me?" she asked, quickly unzipping the jacket to pull it down far enough for me to do so.

When I was done, the blue heart nestled enticingly between her breasts. Uncaring if anyone else ever saw it, I'd had the chain made to a longer length so that it would do so. She placed the tips of her fingers to the stone through the layers of her shirts and then her lips trembled. It was my undoing.

"Bella, I love you…" I blurted out without any sense of elegance.

Her eyes widened and she broke out in a glorious smile. "Edward, I love you, too."

Just as I leaned in to kiss her, the first snow flake filtered down in the air between us, dancing as if in a sort of celebration. It was quickly followed by another and another, and for the moment we stopped, marveling at the beauty of nature befalling us. But then the need became overwhelming, and I pulled her to me, softly pressing my lips to hers.

What followed was a multitude of small, gentle worshipful kisses, our breaths mingling almost symbolically. My other half…I'd found her and suddenly I wanted to dance, just like my parents. Breaking from the intoxication that her lips provided, I pulled her to her feet, unable to do anything but chuckle when I saw the small twig of mistletoe dangling from the branch that supported the remains of the bird's nest. Had my mother really thought I needed it, or was this a gift from Alice and Emmett?

Did it really matter?

"What are you doing?" Bella questioned when I draped the blankets around us to help ward off the chill.

"Will you dance with me?"

"Here?" she squeaked. When she saw my sincerity, she followed up with, "but we don't even have any music."

Wrapping my arm around her waist and groaning in pleasure when she laid her cheek against my chest, I took the ultimate risk and opened my mouth to sing. It had been a long time since I've felt brave enough and Bing Crosby would probably roll over in his grave, but for now the only witnesses to my possible embarrassment were Bella and the snow.

"I'm dreaming of a White Christmas…" Continuing through her gasp of surprise, I laid my cheek against the top of her head and began swaying with her.

Wrapped in a multitude of blankets, the fire merrily eating up the wood and heating us, the snow beginning to dust our cheeks and hair, Bella and I remained in our little cocoon of happiness as I sang the words that I'd heard many times and associated with only the fondest of holiday memories, both of us certain that this would only be the first of many to come.

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><p><strong>Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa! Or whatever other celebration you may choose to observe. Here's wishing you and yours a wonderful time from me and mine!<strong>


	22. Kisses of Acid

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**To my peeps, Suzie55, LemonMartinis, and TwiloverSue. You guys have been my total inspiration to continue doing this thing. I owe you more than I can say. I must also acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me in keeping it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherriola. **

**Dedicated to Cris, Dougie, Susan, Susie, Jean, Michelle, Allison, Penny, Anna, Donna, Samantha, Butch, Ed, Logan, Amanda, Mackenzie, Paul, Cristina, Kristian, and Ryley. The "April Sin's "group. I doubt any of them are even awake yet, after drinking April Sin's last night for New Years. It was described to me as wonderful concotion including lots of Vodka...**

**This chapter was a monster - over 7000, so it was suggested I divide it in two. I'm as anxious as several of you to move the story along, so instead of having this one in the bank, I decided to post today and then mid week. I want to get to the Edward/Bella chapter. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Edward POV<strong>_

The tie wouldn't straighten appropriately, and it was about as frustrating as it could get. Usually dressing was automatic, the suits and shirts matched, with ties already selected…or in contrast, green surgical scrubs. Yes…generally it was a thoughtless task, but tonight nothing looked right. What did one wear to your daughter's first piano recital, or at least the first one you'd attended?

The daughter you hadn't known for the first fourteen years of her life…because you were a worthless ass.

It was true, but continuing along that line was going to get me nowhere.

The women in the family thought I should barge in, overwhelming Bella with the truth of how I felt. My brother and brother-in-law felt I should go through Aro to set up a meeting with Bella, to formally discuss the issues in hopes that I could present my apology in a reasonable manner. My father, well he was probably the one screwing up the most, acting on emotion, letting his mouth get before his head. Why that was surprising I didn't know…he did everything with the heart. Ironically, it had made him an amazing business man. It made no sense, but it was true.

Where once their interference may have saved me, now, it seemed to be digging the hole deeper. I needed for them to back off and allow me and hopefully Bella to figure this out on our own. Her blindness didn't make her any less capable of managing this situation; in fact, I would guess it had made her more discerning. Likely, she was going to tell me to go jump, but I wouldn't know that until she and I were given the opportunity to speak. At the minimum, I desired to be a part of Carlie's life. She was an amazing child, and I would be inordinately blessed to have a relationship with her.

But I wanted it all, and I would be dishonest to deny it or act as if the desire didn't exist. I also feared for my sanity if I was to lose Bella now…after everything. There were things that even my family didn't know, things that I'd never shared…

Glancing up to catch my reflection in the mirror, I critically judged the man in front of me. Gone was the boy that had ideally thought that love could conquer everything. Instead, the person looking back at me was a man who'd made more mistakes than he could count. I also knew first hand that love didn't make everything right. I could love Bella to the end of my days…and would…but it didn't mean that I was what was right for her or what would make her happy.

And she deserved happiness.

Bella had to be confused, enraged, and frustrated. What a birthday gift she'd gotten…total and utter chaos. I'd always known that if I came back into her life that it would be this way. Of course, I had been imagining finding Bella…and her husband, 2.5 kids, and a dog. And what would have been the reason for that? Never would I have imagined that she was alone, raising our daughter.

I wasn't naïve. Contrary to what Carlie believed, Bella must have had relationships along the way, possibly even loved another at some point. Why one of those relationships hadn't worked out, I would never know, because seriously, anyone would be proud to call Bella their better half. To think of the men in her past was uncomfortable, to know that someone else had held her, touched her. But how had she felt hearing of my choices? Of all things, she and Carlie had to be in Seattle; literally under our noses…she had to know it all. The thought made me sick to my stomach. I'd believed her to be anywhere but here, and had accordingly cared less about how I'd been presented in the media. How…how had we gone so long without somehow running into one another? Had I know where she was, and that she was so close, the need that clawed inside of me would have taken over until what little rational thought I possessed would have disintegrated, and I would have thrown myself at her feet…like I was willing to do now.

No, the man staring back was a humbled one, even less assured of his worth than he'd been as a teenager. Seeing the dark circles under my eyes, compliments of many nights of sleeplessness, I realized it just didn't matter, other than that I needed to sincerely apologize and then accept what I was given.

But for now, I had to choose a damn suit and get to my daughter's piano recital. When all else failed, go with black. Alice's words of fashion wisdom echoed in my head, and I snatched a selection out, throwing on a white shirt and dark grey tie. Before leaving, I moved to the kitchen to grab the roses out of the water where I'd placed them in a long vase, amidst the packing boxes.

The pink roses seem to mock me in their perfection and purity…so different from me. But I was giving them to someone who deserved them.

That had been an interesting conversation.

~SOMP~

"Hello!" the child's voice answered.

"Is this the Black residence?"

"Yes, it is."

"May I speak with your father?"

"Sure. May I tell him who is calling?"

"Edward Cullen."

The silence that followed made me think that she'd set the phone down and left it. Finally, she said, "I'll ask him if he wants to talk with you."

The silence this time only lasted a few seconds, before Jacob came on the line.

"What do you need Cullen?"

"Many things that at some point I would like to discuss with you but the first and foremost being a time that we might begin that discussion. However, for today, I would like to ask you a favor."

"A fucking favor! Are you kidding me?" he growled out over the line.

"Jacob, my brother always brings flowers for his daughter when she has a dance recital. I would like to do the same for Carlie, but I didn't want to do so without knowing whether or not that might be a tradition you keep, or if it would impinge on anything you do."

"You're asking my permission?" His voice sounded astounded.

It really hadn't been my plan to confound him, but I was quite clear that I owed Jacob Black more than I could ever repay. Showing him respect was only the beginning. I was going to do my best to not engage in a fight with him again. I'd lost my temper the day Carlie had come to us…it _was_ my Achilles heel.

"Yes, I am." It was a simple answer. KISS…Keep It Simple Stupid. One of the mantras Elizabeth had taught me to keep in mind.

"No, I don't get Carlie flowers. We have another tradition. I'm certain that she'll enjoy them though." He stopped for a moment before speaking again. "It's actually a very kind thing for you to do."

The chuckle broke out of me before I could control it, and I could tell that he was pissed. "I'm sorry, Jacob. That was entirely inappropriate. It was just funny to here you use the word kind in conjunction with me."

"Yeah, well whatever."

~SOMP~

We'd gotten off of the phone quickly, the conversation uncomfortable for us both, but I had ended the call with asking him to consider a time that we could meet. He'd neither agreed nor disagreed, simply ignoring the request.

So as I picked up the dozen pale pink roses out of the bucket of water, I could at least do so with the knowledge that Jacob had given me his permission, albeit begrudgingly.

"Mr. Cullen, what day will be your final one with us?" John asked as he handed me the keys to my car.

"End of the month is when the new owner takes possession. I'll be gone before the end of the weekend." I could see the questions in his eyes and the concern. "Thank you, John, for everything."

The condo was no longer mine, and it seemed as if a huge load had been taken from around my neck with the sale. It had been a miracle really…or maybe not so in that one of our fellow partners had been looking for a place to alight when business brought him to town, and I'd given him a good deal. I was only trading one for another, but the new one above the Hyatt, at Olive 8, provided quite a few amenities that I would prefer…the biggest two being a new start and better security for when Carlie was with me.

It was a unique "roommate" set up with my bedroom overlooking the Space Needle and the bay. The third smallest bedroom was directly across from my room through a cozy library from which there was an exit to the private balcony. Carlie's room and private living room was on the opposite side of the penthouse, the large living room, dining room, kitchen combo separating us for privacy. The floor to roof panes of glass that provided the panoramic views of the city were softened by the light wood floors. In effect, it had many of the same features as my former abode, but the roommate plan was different and somehow the space seemed warmer. Perhaps it was the color to the walls, or maybe it was just my outlook. Either way, my mother had breathed a sigh of relief when she'd walked in, and I'd given her carte blanche to decorate, well, other than Carlie's room and living area. I wanted my daughter to have a hand in what would become of that. Even if I built a home beside my parents, there would be nights I'd have to stay in town, as did my father. So the third bedroom would become his, and the condo could become his and my place in the city if needed.

I didn't want to even begin contemplating building a home, because deep within my heart I wanted Carlie to help me build it, and we weren't at the point of beginning to discuss that. I didn't want to contemplate that I was even farther away from having the privilege of Bella's thoughts on the matter. The thoughts and bittersweet dreams swirled through my head while I navigated the traffic between downtown and the venue where her recital would occur.

I was later than I would have liked to be. A serious case had been the first culprit, my indecision about the outfit the second. The exquisite face of the five year old girl who'd almost died filled my eyes. She was lucky that she'd made it to the hospital. Making the turns quickly, my mind wandered from my situation to the life and death struggles my patient might face, pondering what pathway of recovery she'd need. Generally, as an emergency room doctor, I patched them up and then their primary doctors took over their recovery. In this case, I suspected that it wouldn't be the case. The young girl was going to require an inordinate amount of time and care to recover. My mind made notes as I navigated the final turns as to which specialist to contact and recommend. I suspected her father was the person who'd harmed her, regardless of the fine story that had been concocted, and had already given my impression to the authorities. The wizened Crimes against Children's detective had nodded just perceptibly at me.

"As I thought," had been his only words. But he'd acted quickly, securing a judge on the line to issue the protective order.

The man had lunged at me when the police detective informed him that, "No, he wouldn't be able to visit his child."

"Arrogant doctors, thinking you're God."

The detective had congratulated me on my ability to take the deranged man down without complications. His snarled threat against my life, as I held him to the floor, had allowed the officer to take the man into custody for a time, while he investigated. I thoroughly suspected the wily detective would find enough to follow through on the case. That was his job; mine was to get her better. I'd fixed the internal and physical damage, but now I had to get someone to help her fix the emotional scars.

I had a few days though before she would be able to come out from under the sedation, so for now, I could focus on my own reparations.

The parking lot was filling as I pulled in, but I noticed my father's sedan parked next to Alice's SUV and Rosalie's BMW. Dear God, I hoped they kept themselves under control tonight. Carlie had insisted on the children coming, so hopefully that would keep them focused and off of the match making. The harder they pushed, the worse it was going to be.

My hopes that I would be able to have a few moments with Bella were dashed in the most excruciating of ways. As I made my way down the aisle to them, her laughter floated over me like a thousand butterflies, fluttering at my skin with whisper soft kisses…of acid. Demetri Velathri's head was bent to hers, and the sound of her merriment was like a breath of fresh air for a drowning man…but just not this drowning man. For now, my esteemed adversary was bathing in the glory of her bounty. Whatever they were sharing was something of great interest, as she leaned in to him and him to her. Refusing to look at my family in the row behind them, knowing what I would most likely find on their faces, I sat beside Demetri, unwilling to look as if I would back down. Jacob and his family had taken the seats to the other side of Bella, rendering that option useless.

"Good evening, Anthony," Demetri said in a delighted tone. The look of friendship was genuine; I wanted to tear his face off.

"Good evening, Demetri…Bella." I saw her startle slightly. "I apologize for arriving late. I was delayed at work." It took everything I had to remain polite.

"Well, the recital hasn't begun as of yet, so you are in time," Demetri indicated, handing me a program.

"Carlie's piece won't come until the very end anyway," My Love noted.

"Uncle Edward, may I come sit with you?" Emmy asked from behind me where she sat with her parents.

She or Jasmine were my normal "dates" for family events, so it wasn't uncalled for that Emmy would think she would accompany me now. She would definitely be better company than the regret that was weighing me down. Turning to the side to see her beaming at me from over my shoulder, I couldn't help but grin. Ah…the benefits of youth. She was so full of life, joy, and happiness.

"I would be honored."

The hush that came over the auditorium made Bella's gasp seem inordinately loud.

_"Edward would you please teach me to dance, like Esme and Carlisle…I want to be able to do that…with you."_

_"I would be honored."_

_Her dark brown eyes glistened with tears then, making them shine._

_"Don't cry! Did I say something wrong?" I cupped her face in my hands, feeling the fragile bone structure secured in my grasp. My heart raced to think I'd caused her pain._

_"NO! Something wonderful. I was afraid you'd say no."_

_"And why would I do that?" My eyes scanned her face for any indication of what she was thinking; sometimes she was such an enigma to me._

_"Because, a graceful swan I'm not…"_

The memory rushed over me, and I was only saved from the deluge of emotions by the feel of Emmy sitting down on my lap.

"So, Carlie is going to play the piano, like Meme tries to get you to?" My niece asked innocently.

"Yes, but I'm sure she will be much better than I was," I answered quickly, wanting the topic to die.

"You play as well, Anthony?" Demetri asked in an interested manner…or at least it seemed that way.

"I did once; not anymore."

Bella turned to me, and I saw the confusion on her face.

_Ah My Love…It was all gone after you,_ I wanted to shout, but bit my tongue.

Saved from any further comments by the beginning notes of the first performer's piece, I settled Emmy's head to my shoulder and attempted to not stare out of the corner of my eyes at Demetri and her. They didn't touch, but the laughter between them had seared a permanent picture in my mind. It was then that I noted the entire Velathri family in front of us. It made me wonder if they attended each one of them. Carlie had no need of us…the thought washed over me. She had an entire extended family before we even found them.

Actually, it made me feel better, because if we became important to her or Bella it would be because they wanted us, not needed us. That was what I desired…to be wanted.

One after another, the performers worked through their selected pieces. Progressively talented, the pianists and the music were entertaining, and my attention was effectively divided between them and the couple beside me. I wanted to hate Demetri, but he made it difficult, including me in the conversations, asking ignorant but truly inquisitive questions about the music and selections.

"It says that Carlie will play a piece from the Liszt's third volume _Années de Pèlerinage_, 'Les Jeux d'Eaux à la Villa d'Este.' Can you give a classical piano virgin some pointers on it?" he asked.

It was a fair and likely question.

"It was considered a piece of great melodrama for the time period, but DeBussy and Ravel adopted Liszt's technique of utilizing the augmented triad as the central chord for their later works." His look let me know I'd lost him. "Sorry, shop talk…hmm…" I wondered how to explain, warming to the conversation more than I would have expected. "His music was considered quite revolutionary. He was the Beatles of the 19th century music scene. However, the piece will seem quite tame to you, because it will sound very much like many of the great ballads that came afterward. Then, however, the use of dissonance to denote great emotion wasn't as common."

"Ah…I see. Thank you, Anthony."

Even as fixated as I was on Bella and her interaction with the man beside me, once Carlie stepped on the stage, my attention was focused entirely on my daughter. She was dressed in a simple, elegant long black dress, her hair twisted away from her face and flowing down her back. A gleam at her neckline caught my gaze, and I saw a simple silver chain which ended in a charm of some kind. At this distance, I couldn't identify the shape, but I knew then that it was Jacob's "tradition." Whether he'd learned the skill from Paul, or had it made for her, the certainty that Jacob was responsible for the graceful piece of jewelry was clear to me. The epitome of the consummate professional, she sat and adjusted the bench quickly. She was missing nothing, other than the sheets of music. The assurance that she didn't need them sank into me along with the astonishment. Liszt's music was complicated. Performing it was a major feat, but to do so without the musical scores was truly an accomplishment. Settling Emmy against me, I waited with baited breath to hear Carlie perform.

Closing her eyes, she began and the music poured from her soul, washing over me.

Only another musician could understand the euphoria that coursed through me as my daughter wove the complicated melody. My fingers literally itched to join hers on the ivories. Closing my eyes to remove all extraneous stimuli, I focused entirely on the magic she wove as she executed the piece, the expert interpretation a work of art. When the melody came to an end, I wanted to cry out in outrage that it had stopped. She was the stuff that piano masters dreamed of.

"Why are you crying, Uncle Edward?" Emmy outed my emotional reaction to Carlie's performance to everyone around us.

"I was enjoying Carlie's music."

"She's an angel!" Emmy stated in the singsong voice that only another angel could produce.

I'd utilized the same words to describe her to Emmett, as I watched her flit across the stage. She had inherited Emmett's athletic ability and thankfully Rosalie's grace. Wiping the tears from my face, I nudged her to face forward, unwilling to look around to see who had heard her.

Carlie was followed only by a boy, several years her senior, whose performance of Beethoven's Sonata Opus 106 was immaculate. I couldn't help but feel an undeserved moment of pride when I acknowledged that, by the time she reached his age, she would far surpass him. When the lights went on, the director of the production announced that the performers could be joined by family and friends in the atrium.

The school had an obviously well endowed arts program if the state of the performance hall and large reception area attached was any indication. Parents and friends mixed with music and arts critics, many of whom I recognized. Seeing Carlie ahead, Samantha and my siblings' children made a bee-line towards her, interrupting a conversation between her and a local music critic. I knew enough about him to know that he'd be one to take advantage of her youthful exuberance. Unable to discern a way to tell Bella without seeming overbearing, I looked around for a solution, and then grinned as I moved to Aro's side.

"Aro, the man speaking with Carlie…"

"Yes?" he raised a brow in an arrogant manner.

"He's known for taking advantage of very young, very talented musicians. I'm certain her music instructor knows him and his modus operandi, but since I don't know who that instructor may be, and I don't see anyone around that I would surmise fits the bill…"

His eyes then narrowed on the figure still animatedly attempting to talk to my daughter; albeit, without success. Samantha's and the Cullen crew's squeals were overriding much of what he was saying. Without a word, Aro moved forward at a quick pace to intercede, and I watched in glee as the man's eyes widened in horror…I would suspect when he learned to whom he was speaking…and quickly scurried away. Unaware of what had occurred, Carlie reached for Aro and proceeded to kiss his check in welcome.

Within a minute, Carlie was surrounded by her Velathri, Black, and now Cullen families. She made her way through us all, exuberant from her success. I saw the charm as she neared me…a simple moon. Knowing there had to be a story behind it; I wondered if I'd ever know. Coming to stop in front of me, she smiled simply.

"Carlie, I brought you these," I said softly, handing her the perfect pink roses. She blushed a color to match the flowers as she delicately took them from me.

"Thank you, Edward." She moved closer to me and looking just to my right where Bella and Jacob spoke, she whispered, "I didn't know that Demetri would be here."

I patted her hand in understanding, but was astounded to see the Master of all masters approaching us. Dr. Kaminska was a legend. Founder of the Seattle International Piano Festival and Competition, she was a powerhouse in the scene.

"Bella!" she stated with enthusiasm, and I saw My Love turn toward her voice. Walking into Bella's extended arms, Ivona bussed her cheeks. "Our girl did wonderfully tonight, didn't she? She'll be ready for the Festival, no doubt."

It was then that she noticed the large grouping around her, and the curious cast to her face was unmistakable.

"Dr. Kaminska, this is my family." Carlie proceeded to introduce us all. The names seemed to overwhelm her. Certainly she had to be wondering about Carlie's connection to us all.

"Come with us to dinner?" Aro offered quickly. "I've reserved the private room at Volterra," he said referring to one of the most renowned Italian restaurants in the city. It would seem that even if Demetri hadn't been there to ruin my plans, Aro would have. "Don and Michelle are all but family, and they've designed a culinary feast for us," he announced.

I saw my family exchange hesitant, unsure looks, but then Marcus began making his way toward my father during the following chatter, and I knew that we would be attending en mass.

* * *

><p><strong><em>So, again, I'm wondering what you think? <em>**

**_Reviews will get the second half of Aro's confrontation with Tanya._**

**_I'm content1april on twitter. Come join me, I'm still attempting to learn what to do. _**

**_Please visit my friend at the following stories. I PROMISE you won't be disappointed._**

**_Sherryola - Seeing Bella and The Promise of Hope: http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/1535404/sherryola_**


	23. Observer

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**To my peeps, Suzie55, LemonMartinis, and TwiloverSue. You guys have been my total inspiration to continue doing this thing. I owe you more than I can say. I must also acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me in keeping it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherryola. **

**Again dedicated to Cris, Dougie, Susan, Susie, Jean, Michelle, Allison, Penny, Anna, Donna, Samantha, Butch, Ed, Logan, Amanda, Mackenzie, Paul, Cristina, Kristian, and Ryley. The "April Sin's" group who imbibed in multiple tastes for New Years. It was described to me as wonderful concoction including lots of Vodka...**

** Just FYI, Volterra is an actual Italian restaurant in Seattle, started by two Italians that met there, fell in love, and later returned to get married. Imagine my surprise when during research to find the best Italian restaurants in Seattle that the name should pop up.**

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

Returning to the still bare condo that night was my only option. I wouldn't go home to my family, because I would scream if I became the recipient of another sorrow filled side glance. Bella had been politely cordial throughout the entire event, but I was no further now in getting her to talk to me than I had been before. In fact, it felt as if I was even farther away. She'd remained at either Jacob's or Demetri's side the entire dinner and dessert reception that Aro had arranged. I neither approached her nor avoided her, intent on doing what I'd told her I'd do…give her the opportunity to make the decision herself. But, I wouldn't stay away, hoping that just my presence alone would give her something to think about.

I was in agony though, having seen a multitude of innocent touches between them…her hand to his arm…his hand to the small of her back. The twinkling light in her eyes as she smiled at something he said. His fingers brushing wayward locks of her hair behind her ear. Those were just the start of a list of intimate caresses that were eating at me…stirring the fire within to blaze at my heart like the fires of Hell. Unable to control the jealousy, I'd done what I could to control the clenching of my fists. Barely controlling the growl that had come out of my chest when Alice approached me, her intent to reprimand me for not doing something, I'd moved to Carlie and Seth's side.

My family needed to understand that I had more than one relationship to repair. Carlie was as important to me as Bella. She was at least willing to allow me to start, and I was willing to take the opportunity that she was giving. A lively debate about the music she'd chosen ensued, and Dr. Kaminska had joined in. In the end, Carlie and I had been grinning at each other over a stalemate when we realized we'd collected an audience. That Bella was one of the observers could only been seen as a positive.

But with the end of the festivities, I was left alone…accompanied only by the sins of my past and their costs. What would have been another sleepless night, amongst the many, was only salvaged by the phone call that came on my cell.

The angel at the hospital had begun to stir and the attending OR physician wanted my consult on the next round of meds. It would have been easy to relay the information by phone, but I knew that my sanity might just be saved by being busy. Laying the black suit over the bed, I grabbed a pair of scrubs and transformed for yet another time this day. A small sense of peace came when I stepped inside the bustling Emergency Room. Here, I was wanted and needed.

~SOMP~

If I thought the pain of being around Bella and Demetri was immense, the feelings I experienced when she left on her book tour was devastating…mostly because her longest stop, the one at the end of her time away was in New York. New York, the Big Apple, the city that never slept…also currently the home of one Demetri Velathri. Carlie had inadvertently given me that information while we spoke on the phone. She'd be staying with Jacob and Leah during the week, had spent the last weekend at my parents' home while I worked and scheduled to visit the new place this weekend. Excited about the prospect of decorating the condo, she'd insisted on coming Friday afternoon as soon as she was out of school. I wouldn't be home until late, having pulled an afternoon shift, but my father was going to stay with her.

I knew he wanted some time with her, and so it was a good resolution. She wanted time with me, insisting that we have our "talk." My stomach had been in knots ever since.

Samantha, the young girl, was recovering nicely, at least physically. Her emotional state was another thing to be seen. At the end of my last session with Elizabeth, I'd asked if she might know someone who specialized in treating younger children. After my explanation, she'd given me the promise that she would check into several possibilities and get back to me with some recommendations. We'd spent our time uncomfortably, dealing with the choice I'd made about sex. I'd never seen her speechless, until I admitted what I'd told Emmett so long ago. When she'd finally found her voice, she'd surprisingly looked quite pleased.

~SOMP~

"Usually I spend months to years getting individuals to just realize that they are substituting one fix for another. First there was Bella, then the drugs and sex, then just the sex. Have you determined what the original need was?"

I wasn't comfortable with considering the fact that Bella may have been a fix as well, and I'd told Elizabeth as much.

"I'm not discounting your love for her, or that it existed in a true form even then Edward. But we are attracted to individuals as our mates for specific reasons. Tell me what attracted you to Bella in the first place?"

I didn't have to ponder that answer. "Bella has a gentle spirit, and she saw me for who I was…faults and all. She wasn't overwhelmed by the face I was given, seeing me for more than just something physically attractive. She wanted to know my thoughts and feelings, what made me tick and my interests. She challenged me when I needed to be called on the carpet. I guess I would say that I could just be myself when I was around her. I didn't feel like I had to constantly question her motives." I let that statement sit for a moment. "That is really the reason her supposed betrayal was so horrific for me. Other than what had happened with Alice, and only because she had been so insistent that she be the one to tell Bella…Bella knew everything about me. It seems almost foolish now, how much we shared with one another. It would take you years to find that level of intimacy with someone as an adult. We have too many barriers and boundaries. But then, it just seemed, I don't know, right. Does that make sense?"

I waited to see if she would actually answer the question. Her skill was in getting me to answer my own questions, rarely offering an opinion. A little astonished when she nodded her head, I quickly continued.

"She encouraged me to look at all my options, not just being a doctor, because she knew it was important to me that I know I wanted to do that…not just follow in my father's footprints. She listened to my music for hours on end, even when all I did was pick out a couple of notes at a time and then go back and redo them. I can still clearly see her sitting on the couch just feet from me…nodding her head to whatever I was composing as she had her nose buried in a book."

"So her beauty didn't attract you?" she challenged.

"What?" I shook my head attempting to dispel the silken threads of my memories. "Of course. She was beautiful…beyond beautiful really. Her eyes are the window to her soul…even now. Inherent goodness seems to just flow from her. Of course I was attracted to her physically!" My tone was astounded, wondering why she would have thought any differently. "I think my current situation is a testament to that attraction."

She grinned, at my confounded expression. "I was just wondering. Everything you've mentioned are intrinsic qualities, I just wondered why you hadn't mentioned her physical attributes."

"Bella is more than a beautiful face," I growled out, suddenly angry for some reason.

"Of course she is," Elizabeth smiled subtly, and I wondered how my explosion would come back in some lesson.

Bella's brown eyes floated in my vision, soft and gentle, loving, and pleading. "She's an entire package, Elizabeth. Beauty, brains, gentleness…"

"Do you have any idea of what you meant to her?" Elizabeth asked gently when I came to a stop, having been overwhelmed with the poignant visions in my head.

Yes, I did, because we'd shared even that.

"Bella told me that she felt like she could just be herself with me. If she felt like reading, I didn't fuss, often joining her. We argued for hours about the storylines from her favorite novels, and I often played Devil's Advocate just to see the fire in her eyes. If she felt like cooking all day, I was willing to be the taste tester. She didn't have to care take me like she had her father. I challenged her, to come out of her shell. She is extremely intelligent, more so than me. I think most guys, and perhaps even men, would find that intimidating, but I was enthralled and wanted her to allow others to see it. Of course, the teachers and her father knew, but Bella hid that part of her away thinking it made her even more of an oddity. She's never been able to really see herself clearly. It is horrible for me to say this, but she loved being a part of my large family, having never experienced that before. I believe they were as much a pull for her as I was. Of course, we violently jerked that from her…"

"Edward, focus on my question, not what happened. Anything else about yourself?"

"Bella said that I was her bullshit meter?" I blushed at the language, but it was the words used then.

"Bullshit meter?" Elizabeth barked out in laughter.

"Yeah, her level of humor is so often above everyone else's head that they don't know when she is being sarcastic. It was her own private little joke…that I called her on frequently. I don't know, it became our own little game…besting one another."

"So you provided humor in her life? Interesting," Elizabeth noted.

"Yeah, for a time. So…um…go ahead and tell me how you are going to utilize my little outburst against me."

Elizabeth actually chuckled at my observation. "Thinking of going into Psychiatry, Edward?"

A short bark of laughter ripped out of me. "Absolutely not! I'm not smart enough for that," I admitted, holding up my hands in supplication.

She shook her head at me. "I just find it ironic that you became upset when you thought I insinuated that Bella was just a pretty face. It seemed almost personal…"

"Because it is how I'm judged…individuals seeing what I can't control…the phenotype of my genotype." I threw in the humor so reminiscent of what I'd done with Bella. Being a physician herself, Elizabeth got it.

"You don't like being judged solely based upon your physical characteristics. So when you gave up the drugs to numb the pain and provide a buffer, you intentionally chose women who saw you only for your face and money, pretty much perpetuating the pattern set when you betrayed Bella with Tanya."

"No…I didn't. They chose me. I know that sounds ludicrous and lame to say, but I never approached any of them. I never promised them anything either, but it doesn't excuse my behavior."

"Exactly how did you 'not promise them anything'?"

Raising my eyes to meet hers, I bared my soul. "As bad as it may seem, I was totally analytical about starting dating relationships. I supplied test results, never starting another relationship until I could reasonably say that I was coming into it safely. I required testing of the women who I was involved with, using protection at all times. During the very frank discussions, I was brutally honest about the fact that I wasn't looking for a romantic attachment."

Unable to maintain eye contact, I admitted, "I tried hard to keep the relationships amiable."

"What changed them?" she asked softly.

"Although you wouldn't be able to see it from what happened with Bella, my mother raised me to treat women in a gentlemanly manner. Some interpreted my behavior to mean I'd changed my mind. One woman in particular, Michelle, actually surprised me with her insight. She was a good friend, I guess you could say. She was in the same position I was, not looking for a long term thing, and I was actually…" pausing for the right word "…sad when she ended the relationship. When I asked why, she indicated that she knew that if she stayed with me much longer that she would be in the same place as all the others…beginning to develop feelings for me. She actually told me that she would like to meet the woman that had 'done me in.' Little did she know that if she had, Bella would have told her about the monster she'd been bedding."

"Are we back to that?"

"Huh?"

"I thought we were past the use of the moniker 'monster.'"

"Sorry, yes, it is just such a habit."

"So Bella was the fix for your concerns…that someone wouldn't see you for something other than your face and money, and when you thought that had failed, you protected yourself by going with what you thought you'd get all along…superficial relationships through drugs and then 'logical' agreements."

My stunned silence concluded the session, until I'd thought of Samantha.

"I'll find some good recommendations for her. Are we talking payment through welfare or private pay?"

"The best," had been my only answer.

Elizabeth had allowed an unusual display of affection then. Patting my arm, she indicated, "You know, Edward…you are a gentleman no matter how you paint or allow yourself to be painted by the press. You made a horrific decision; there is no doubt, that caused you, Bella, and your child immense hurt. However, I can tell you that many others in life have done similar things. Multiple broken marriages, affairs, and economic downfalls are testament to that. You aren't the first and you won't be the last. The root of the problem is that you never attempted to rectify the situation you'd caused. That is what I want to discuss next…why you didn't go find her when you knew the truth…and I mean way before Tanya admitted what she'd done. I think…I may be wrong, but I doubt it…that you knew Bella was innocent long before that event."

~SOMP~

Between Carlie and Elizabeth, they were destroying all my defenses. Which was why I was absolutely dreading the weekend, knowing that Carlie wanted an exactly retelling of what I'd said and done. So it was with varying degrees of relief and disquiet that I received the call from my daughter bowing out of the visit. A girlfriend had surprised her with an invitation to a weekend sleep over that was to "die for." It did mean that I had one more week of respite from the craziness, but it also meant a weekend alone. After the last one, I'd been looking forward to her company.

We'd been making such progress getting to know each other, speaking every night about the day to day activities. I never asked about Bella, but little things slipped through. However, I attempted not to focus on them. Carlie and I had enough to fix between us.

The conversations were funny and clever; her wit as fine as her mother's. We spoke about the piece she planned to perform for the festival and the time she spent practicing. The entire time we pondered her musical direction, I stared at the Steinway grand piano that had been placed by the window of the living room overlooking the Bay. The delivery itself had been a thing of fine precision, and I'd personally overseen the man who tuned it. It was patiently waiting for her fingers to make it come alive…my surprise for her.

I'd met her for dinner several times, picking her and Seth up, and even earning permission to take the young Samantha once. So for her to go to the "to die for" sleepover was only a minor glitch in the fashioning of our relationship. But I did mourn the fact of losing her companionship over the weekend.

Coming into my new home that evening was disconcerting. I could use the time to unpack several of the boxes, but couldn't find the interest. Nothing on TV intrigued me, and I couldn't focus on the book I picked up. It was as if the piano had a beacon with my name on it. Moving toward it, I made it as far as raising the lid before I stopped. There was nothing within me…sure I could play one of the many pieces seared on my brain, but my true gift had always been in creating a piece that matched the emotions from within. I was so torn that nothing short of a Wagner or Mahler piece would ensue, and I wasn't so sure that I would be able to fashion anything.

The twinkling lights of the city below me captured my attention instead, and I lowered the lid back to protect the ivory keys. The piano deserved the expertise that Carlie would be able to supply. Moving off the bench and out the door onto the patio, I placed my hands on the railing, allowing the cold wind to rip over me and the thought I'd attempted to control finally found form.

Where was Bella, and what was happening?

Finally! I'd let the words burst through…saying them out loud to the wind, which in turn whipped them back into to the house behind me. However, unlike the other space I'd occupied my words didn't bounce back at me in a mocking tone. My mom had begun the transformation already, and with her hand, the condo was more a home than the other had ever been. The warm colored walls seem to almost absorb some of the anguish I felt as if they too were attempting to help.

She was in New York, and I knew from Carlie that Marcus had accompanied her on the trip. It was a certainty that with her and his father in town, that Demetri would spend time with them. The person struggling within me to be upstanding knew that I had to give her a few more weeks to contact me before I begged again. The scared boy and needy man within me wanted to run to her and throw myself at her feet. It was a battle of epic proportions.

"What's stopping you?" the wind seemed to challenge, and I couldn't find an answer.

Originally, it would be that Carlie was with me, but her sleepover had rendered that excuse mute. As the wind whipped over me, tugging at the strands of my hair and shirt, visions of Bella and Demetri together began to torture me. Would I lose her before I was even given a chance? It would be poetic justice for certain and nothing less than I deserved.

The doubts began to swirl…maybe I was going about this all wrong. Perhaps I should do as my sisters and mother suggested. It would at least interrupt anything that Demetri could begin. As the thought burgeoned in me, it was as if the rightness settled in.

Before I knew it, I was sitting in the back of one of our planes…headed for New York.

* * *

><p><em><strong>So, again, I'm wondering what you think? <strong>_

_**Reviews for this and the last chapter will get the second half of Aro's confrontation with Tanya. I'll begin those tonight!**_

_**I'm content1april on twitter. Come join me, I'm still attempting to learn what to do. **_

_**Please visit my friends at the following stories. I PROMISE you won't be disappointed.**_

_**Sherryola - Seeing Bella and The Promise of Hope: http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/1535404/sherryola**_


	24. Torn

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**To my peeps, Suzie55, LemonMartinis, and TwiloverSue. You guys have been my total inspiration to continue doing this thing. I owe you more than I can say. I must also acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me in keeping it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherryola. **

**I'm sorry it took me so long to return your review replies. I've been sick the last few days – running a fever. I just couldn't shake it, so I decided to share (you'll see in the story). My plan was to make this chapter much longer and go more into Bella's POV, but please forgive me. I just finished it today, and it is only being posted due to TwiloverSue's kindness in doing an emergency beta job. I finally had to pry my fingers away from it and call it a day. **

**Sarah01 – PM me with your email and I'll send you Aro, I couldn't get you through the review replies.**

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

Traffic was horrible as we neared Times Square. Random House's main office was located on Broadway, and Carlie had mentioned during one of our conversations that Bella and Marcus would be staying at the Millennium Broadway at Times Square. The delays on the tarmac as we landed and the congested trip into town had become my enemies because rational thought had begun to overwhelm my gut level reaction. I'd promised her time, and now I was going against it. It was almost as if I could feel the opposing angels sitting on my shoulders whispering two different types of advice.

_Should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be trouble. If I stay there will be double._

The Clash's song seemed to truly represent my dilemma.

Unfortunately, or maybe I should say fortunately, the rational part of me was winning. Although it had seemed a good idea while I sat alone in my condo facing a lonely weekend, rushing to find Bella and plead my case was seeming less and less rational in the bright lights of New York. Isn't this what I'd done before, acting on emotion instead of thinking through my actions? If only I'd not done that as a teenager, how different all our lives would've been?

_But you're here now, go ahead and just talk with her,_ the devilish angel said seductively. _Imagine if she listens…_

_You'll destroy everything, why would she believe anything you have to say if you can't keep this simple promise,_ the other countered.

It was a dilemma of epic proportions. The pull between my wants and desires and what was the prudent choice. I felt like the choices were flaying me alive…burning me as if I was on a funeral pyre.

Damnit! I knew what I had to do, but it was so hard.

"We're just across the street from the hotel," the cabbie indicated as we came to a stop.

"Thank you, just let me out here," I indicated handing him enough for the fare and a tip.

The wind ripped around me as I stepped to the sidewalk. Pulling up the hood of my warm jacket, I shoved my hands into the pockets. The plush hotel in front of me protected one of the most precious things in my life, and the edifice seemed to mock me as if it knew I was here to destroy everything. I wasn't, just needing a few moments to gaze in longing before I caught the next cab back to the airport.

The good angel had won.

This had been a bad mistake, but one I could correct with no one being the wiser. Limos and luxury cars pulled in, the owners of some handing the keys to the attendant as richly dressed individuals exited them and made their way inside. Taxis waited in rows to the side for the chance to ferry individuals throughout the city. I could catch a ride back from there, but for now, my feet were frozen in place.

Was she here already sleeping or about town? All the great shows were on Broadway just minutes away, and I knew that Bella would thoroughly enjoy the music and witty repartee that most would offer. It was early in the morning though, and it would have had to have been a late night indeed for her to be anything but safe and sound inside.

What had I been thinking? Was I seriously going to bang on the door, wake her up, and think it would go over well? Just imagine if Demetri was with her? Visions of several confrontational scenes ran through my head…and there was no way I'd come out a winner of any of the versions.

Yet, I couldn't make my feet move; even as the cold began to seep through the multi-layers I'd thrown on. It seemed as if my current situation represented so much of my life…apart from the world evolving around me, cold, and gazing at what I'd never have because of my impetuous behavior. Several individuals glanced at me as they walked past, and I imagined I looked slightly suspicious…dark hoodie pulled up to cover my head and face, dark jeans, ratty, comfortable Vans. I'd dressed for comfort, not to impress. Chuckling, I realized that the taxis across the way might not even give me the benefit of a ride. I'd have to hand them the money first.

_Go home, Edward,_ the angel ordered.

So now I was officially crazy, listening to the voices in my head. One lady scooted to the side hearing the sharp bark of laughter that erupted from my chest.

I heard a few of her uttered words as she quickly moved away. "Bum." "Crazy." I think she even crossed herself as if I was some supernatural creature of the dark come to steal away her soul.

If I was crazy, I might as well enjoy the benefits. Talking to yourself…was that the first sign?

"Ah, My Love. I so wish I could see you, to be allowed the privilege of your presence, but I'll wait on you and hope you'll give me the benefit of a chance." The words, spoken aloud, gave me some measure of relief.

Forcing myself away from the wall I'd come to lean against, I moved across the street intent on acquiring a taxi, the movement seemingly giving me a sense of hope. But as fate would have it, I was to be given a consequence for my irrational behavior. I felt the familiar hum of anticipation before the door even opened on the taxi that'd pulled in.

"Isabella go on inside, it's too cold. I'll settle up with the driver," Demetri's voice called out, and I dove behind a column. As I tried to breathe again, the tapping of her cane came closer to where I'd hidden.

DAMN! No! I'd made the right decision. Couldn't I have gotten at least one break…just one?

This thought of course went through my head as the pain engulfed me. She was astoundingly beautiful in her long dress coat. They'd obviously been out on a date. She came into sight, and the wind rushed by me, stirring her hair…lifting the tendrils around her face. To my horror, she turned quickly in my direction as if she sensed me there in the shadows like a wraith stalking her. I wanted to scream in agony when she took several steps toward me, but I couldn't move to save my life…which in effect it might. By an act of providence, she stopped…her outstretched hand just a few feet short of touching me.

I was mesmerized by the sight of her reaching out to me, as feelings of such yearning overwhelmed me. I wanted her to willingly touch me, to reach for me, to want me. It was a defining moment and I was suspended in shock, her hand just a step away.

God was just showing me how stupid I'd been and wanted me to see the error of my ways, and then like a lifeline, he offered up my salvation. A group of giggling women moved around me providing a distraction and shaking me from my frozen state. I stepped through the group, literally almost running toward the darkness and safety behind me.

"Isabella?" Demetri called out in question as he made her side just a second later.

"Um…sorry, I just thought…" she didn't answer any further, but I saw her cock her head as if she was listening for something. Finally, they moved into the hotel.

This time as I leaned against the building behind me for support, I was filled with regret. When would I learn? Every time I did something that didn't feel right…that brought me a sense of disquiet…I paid. The hole where my heart should have been flared dangerously, squeezing painfully. Breathing deeply to counteract the panic attack and pain, my muscles clenched and spasmed against my efforts.

One thought kept the pain from receding…Demetri had had an overnight bag in his hand; there was no doubt they were together.

"Hey, are you okay?" A voice broke through my misery, and I forced my eyes open.

A young woman stood unsurely in front of me, compassion clear in her face.

"Yeah...I'm sorry, yes m'am. I just needed to breathe."

"Panic attack?" she questioned, and I saw that she understood, most likely having suffered from them herself.

I nodded.

"Do you have some place to go? How long have you been on the streets?" she asked in quick succession.

Then the items in her hands became obvious. She was one of those unselfish individuals who scoured the streets looking for those less fortunate to help.

"I have somewhere, but thank you."

Her eyes flared at my polite tone, and I saw her reassess my appearance. It was dark, but she could still see that my clothes were decent.

"Okay, but here take my card…" she held her hand out to me, similar in manner to how Bella had done just minutes earlier. "If you ever need anything, you come here, and we can help."

Unwilling to insult her, I took the card, putting it into the pocket of my jacket. "Thank you."

"Sure. Just remember, you are loved," she said before moving off, and I was quite certain the card came with a scriptural reference.

She was right. I was loved, and just because it wasn't from the one I wanted, I had no right to whine. I was blessed with a family who did care, and a daughter I was hoping was starting to.

Walking away from the hotel without a backward glance was perhaps one of the hardest things I'd done, but it felt like a strong step in the right direction. My heart was still burning in the inferno of the flames licking at it. I was leaving the love of my life in the arms of another man. The anxiety hadn't stopped, leaving me shaky and my heart pounding…the sense of other-worldliness only increased by it all. Sliding into the back seat of the taxi, it was difficult for me to even rasp out the word "airport." Without finesse, I handed him the money before we even moved, having seen his suspicious look.

Pulling the hood even farther over my face, I huddled into myself, attempting to breathe through the pain as I knew to do and as the young lady had suggested. But as my luck always held, when I wanted to be left alone…I wasn't even granted that. The phone buzzed incessantly in my pocket as the city lights and sights whipped by outside.

Bella… Thoughts of what was occurring burned like acid across my skin and heart, robbing me of strength.

Buzz. Buzz. Damn phone. I wanted to throw it out the window. Finally motivated to action out of frustration, I jerkily snatched it out of my pocket and then groaned seeing the culprit.

"Edward, where the hell are you? Get the fuck back to Seattle; you are going to blow it with BB if you force her. You promised!" Emmett snarled through the line, his tone beyond infuriated.

I couldn't answer; the band still tight around my chest.

"Don't fucking ignore me. This is serious. You have a chance to change everything, do you understand…everything! Now get back on that plane and fly your scrawny ass back here."

"Em…" The sound was strangled. Of course he of all individuals would have figured out where I was. How had he known I was even gone?

"Edward?" He hesitated, confused by my tone. Then his tone softened and became concerned, almost pleading. "Where are you? Do I need to come get you?" There was my big brother…my protector.

"Moment, please," I begged, rocking slightly backwards and forwards in agitation.

"Bubba, you're scaring me now…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be a prick. I'm just so excited about the possibilities, that I panicked when I realized you weren't home."

He kept talking, traditional Emmett drabble, as I worked on fighting the feelings that had stripped me of the capacity to function. Finally, he took a breath.

"Em, I saw her. She's with him." The words came out fast and almost jumbled.

That finally made him grow silent. When his words came, they at least acknowledged the situation. "Damn, bro…I'm sorry. I can't say that I didn't suspect that she would see him while they were there, but I can't imagine how that felt for you."

"I'm on the way home, heading to the airport now," I said slowly.

"Well then, I'll see you when you get here…I'll drive over to your new digs."

"Em…how'd you know?"

He remained quiet for a few moments. "Woke in a nightmare…of you hurt. I haven't had one of those in awhile…not since…" He stopped short. "I've learned to trust my gut, and my gut was telling me that you were at the breaking point. Did they know you were there?"

"No…I think I was able to slip away unnoticed."

"Good! Then we were blessed with good luck for once. Get home, and we'll talk through it. You're going to need to focus on how you are going to tell her everything, not on her lover. We can only hope that your words will afford you a new chance."

A chance indeed…but at what?

**Bella POV**

"Isabella, I'm sorry that I'm not feeling well enough to accompany you and Demetri for dinner and the show," Marcus said softly, from where I'd made him sit on the couch surrounded by blankets, room service chicken soup, and Gatorade. He was a much better patient than Jacob, who whined the entire time he was sick.

Moving to him, I placed my hand to his head again feeling for a temperature. He was warm, but without the benefit of a thermometer I couldn't know how high it actually was. He seemed cooler than he had the night before, when we'd left D.C. and traveled here, so I was guessing he was on the mend. "Nurse or doctor, I'm not, but as a mother I've developed a few skills of diagnosis. I've worn you out dragging you across country with me. You've probably caught some sort of twenty four hour virus, and only rest, eating, and some good TV are going to fix that."

I felt around on the sofa side table in search of the remote and placed it in his hands.

"We just have the two days here, and then blessedly, we'll be able to go home."

He sighed, and I knew that he was as anxious as I was for that to happen.

"You're a good man, Marcus Velathri, and I must admit that I prefer you as my guide. Aro just bosses everyone around."

He chuckled at my statement, but I could tell he was tired. I was too. Marcus had been exceptional to me, guiding me through the outlay of each hotel and suite we'd utilized throughout the tour…Dallas, Miami, Atlanta, D.C., Chicago, and finally New York. He was a natural at it, allowing me to take his arm and walking me the steps from where I would be dropped off by the car to the elevator and then to the room. Within our suites, he'd insured that I had a clear pathway and that he'd familiarized me with the amenities. Then…he'd let me go. It was perfect. Aro tended to be too overprotective, constantly checking on me. He drove me crazy. Didyme's and Cia's trip to Italy had been well timed for me, along with a court case that Aro couldn't miss. I had attempted to restrain my little dance of joy when Marcus offered to come with me.

Leslie, my agent, was a gem in helping me, a veritable barracuda in making sure everything was taken care of, but there was something to be said about bringing a little piece of home along. She took care of the setup at the signings and reserving the hotels for me. She was quick and efficient in orienting me to the areas at the bookstores and controlling the lines so that I knew from which direction the people would approach me. But Leslie was a dynamo, a virtual whirlwind while at work…as far from relaxing as could be. Now after hours…well that was a totally different thing. In addition to being my agent, she was a good friend. If the amount of men that approached us at bars was any indications, she was also a beauty. When I'd asked her to describe herself, she'd brushed it off, but I'd asked a bartender once, and his description had left little to the imagination. I'd had to laugh when he qualified, "…and I'm gay."

So Leslie, the dynamo, would pick me up around lunch time to head to our event at the main office. She'd informed me I was being "schmoozed" and to enjoy it as she looked through the outfits I'd brought and selected a suit she thought would be appropriate. "Sexy as hell, yet conservative. You know, I think you could entice the CEO if you wanted. Do you have anything against being his third wife? I think the second marriage is on the rocks."

"Um…no thank you," I'd replied pertly, to which she'd burst out in laughter.

"He wants you to consider another novel and the possibility that you'd reveal your second pseudonym." When she saw me shaking my head in a negative way, she sighed. "I told him, but he thinks if he wines and dines you, it'll change your mind. I told him you're stubborn."

That book was personal, and maybe my only foray into anything other than the worlds I created for children.

"Are you sure that you'll be okay while Deme and I go to the Met tomorrow? I hate to leave you to the mercy of that harridan," Marcus asked. He wasn't fooling me, he liked Leslie and that she didn't take slack off anyone.

"You can only go if you are feeling better, and that is an order," I countered, refusing to answer his silly question.

"Well, he said he is bringing over some things he wants my advice on, so even if we can't go, we won't be bored. You sure you just aren't using the excuse of our early morning appointments to have access to him tonight. I have really good ears you know," he teased about my offer to have his son sleep on the couch so that they could start out early…assuming he was better.

"Ah Marcus…who says I'd allow him to make any noise," I threw back to him, knowing to back down from this man would mean an ass load of teasing.

It was to the music of Marcus' continued humor that I exited and made my way to the elevator, my coat thrown over my arm. I was meeting Demetri at the restaurant before we made the Broadway play.

The cab ride over gave me something that I was rarely blessed with…complete silence and time to myself.

_"Bella, I need to tell you in my words, my apology. Nothing I'll ever say will make up for what I did to us."_

Breathing deeply, I thought about those words for at least a thousand times since they'd been said. Earnest words…I'd become a pro at assessing the inflections of individual's voices. I could tell when they were hiding something, or when they were angry and attempting to convince me differently. It drove Jake batty, and he'd finally learned to just be upfront.

And what I'd heard from Him was sincerity…as much as I wanted to deny it. How long would I be able to keep him at bay? Did I even want to? There was something to be said for jumping in the water and getting the shock over with. I'd been thinking that I could avoid the situation and that it would go away, but after the talk at the press conference, I'd been faced with the reality that my plan wasn't going to work. We were going to have to work together for Carlie's benefit, and the information that Aro had given me had definitely cast a different light on the situation. We didn't have to be friends; we just had to work in conjunction for the benefit of our child. If I'd thought He was going to be protective of her at first, hearing the horrible events that Alice experienced and his reactions to them made me realize just how serious He would be about protecting her.

Okay…the first thing I needed to do was call him by his name. That would be a start.

Anthony.

Anthony and I had to talk, privately, away from everyone else so that we could come to an agreement of where we would go from here. As soon as I acknowledged the thought, I knew it was right. A deep sense of contentment settled around my heart, knowing that this would at least be the first step in coming to a resolution to the mess that had been our past.

The taxi stopped, bringing me back to the present, and the driver let me know we were at the restaurant. Before I could even reach for the door, it opened.

"Hello Beautiful!" Demetri's voice poured over me like a caress.

And just like that, the thoughts plaguing me vanished.

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><p><em>So, again, I'm wondering what you think? <em>

_Reviews__ will get the Aro/Carlisle outtake. _

_I'm content1april on twitter. Come join me, I'm still attempting to learn what to do. _

_Please visit my friend__ at the following stories. I PROMISE you won't be disappointed._

_Sherryola - Seeing Bella and The Promise of Hope: http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/1535404/sherryola_


	25. SOMP Outtakes Chapters 15 through 22

**Please find below the latest outtakes that were sent out as review replies. The promised Aro/Carlisle outtake is at the bottom, since FF is giving me fits about doing review replies with attachments...**

**As always...this is Ms. Meyer's world...I'm just playing.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 15 Outtake – Rosalie POV <strong>

"Em?" I called out, frankly disturbed by the unusual quietness in the house.

Placing my keys and purse on the table just inside the garage door, I moved toward the living room, having finally heard the drone of the TV. My heart seemed to swell upon finding Emmet leaned back on a pile of pillows on the couch. Ross and Emmy resided to each side of him, surrounded by the large expanses of his protective arms. All three of them were soundly asleep compliments of a night spent out under the stars. Em had already given them a bath and dressed them in their pajamas.

Unable to be mad at the big ox, I sat on a footrest to just gaze adoringly at him and our son and daughter.

What did it feel like for Bella to not know what her child looked like? I mean, honestly all she had to do was imagine herself as a teenager with Edward's eyes, but I couldn't imagine having never "seen" her. I wondered why she'd never sought to have surgery, certain there was some reasonable explanation.

Emmett stirred slightly, pulling our two children in closer. He was my other half, my soul mate, and I couldn't imagine having done the whole family thing without him. I knew I was incredibly blessed with the fact that he was such a hands-on father. He'd been there through every sleepless night, fever, and teething episode.

Had Jacob done the same for Bella? Had he held her as she cried from exhaustion, as she must have certainly done? I know I had.

Remembering the look on Carlie's face as she spoke of the Black family…her family, I knew that Jacob must have. He was an intriguing man, and it made me wonder about the boy he must have been. No wonder Edward had felt threatened, considering how he felt about himself.

Bella was an enigma. She'd been welcoming of us when she really had more reasons to spit on the lot of us and slam the door in our faces. Her actions spoke of a warm heart. She'd set limitations with Alice and had been cooly polite to Edward, which spoke of strength. To Esme, she'd been distant. At first, I'd wanted to jump in when I saw Bella's hand shaking, but a bolt of awareness had rendered me still.

Bella wasn't upset or shaken up…she was furious. The "breaks" had been when she was about to explode…not times when she'd needed protection. I recognized her reaction, because it was the way I dealt with anger as well.

She was made of strong stuff…having risen from the success of her first book to successively write several award winning childrens' stories. B. Swan. She'd been called the Black Swan for so long that it was thought it was a penname. It had actually taken me some research to find a picture of her on the internet and even that one had been of her at a book signing, and it only a side profile.

Had she intentionally remained elusive? Somehow that didn't fit with my assessment of her. I found it more likely that Bella just didn't care about the limelight, enjoying the privacy of remaining anonymous.

"Mother, where does the wind go?" the girl child asked, the ribbon from her bonnet dancing around her curious face.

"Go?" the mother asked and then smiled to the child. "It follows you everywhere, just like my love for you."

How many times had I read those lines from Bella's first book to Emmy and Ross? I'd spent many sleepless nights worrying about the horrible things that could happen to them, about the evils out in the world. Finally, I'd relied on my mother's wisdom.

"Rosalie, all you can do is show them everyday how much you love them. Then you have to let go, and let God take care of the rest."

I'd held my Mama's hand as she died from breast cancer and whispered the words between Bella's mother and daughter characters.

"Let go, Mama. My love will follow you."

She'd died less than an hour later, and then Emmett had held me in his arms…comforting me like he did our children.

_Whispers in the Wind_ had become personally special to me, and I could quote word for word the beautifully illustrated book. Reading it, it was as if at moments I could hear my mother's voice whispering to me. Kids loved the whimsical nature of Bella's characters…adults adored the deeper messages.

I wanted to get to know Bella. She didn't need my friendship, she had plenty of individuals who loved her already, but I desired to know the woman who'd spoken to my soul long before I knew her importance in our lives.

To C. S. My Angels.

The first part of a simple dedication. I'd always wondered to whom the author felt such love and dedication and why the publishing house would have allowed the grammar error. I knew now. Carlie Swan and Charlie Swan. Two angels.

To J. B. My Sun.

Jacob Black. I could only guess that her dedication was because he'd been her warmth in what must have been a very cold world.

The dedications had remained the same from the first book to the last.

"Hey, beautiful," Em's voice called out softly, bringing me back to the present. His grin was adorable along with his sleepy eyes. "Sorry, I was just taking a cat nap."

"I'll get Emmy," I offered.

No sooner had we tucked them into their beds, Emmett snatched me into his arms, taking me to our room.

"Did you have fun with Carlie?"

"Yes. Bella invited us to dinner," I said softly and my words had him sitting into the chair before our fireplace, cuddling me to his chest.

"Wow."

"I know, right."

"Is she still as good a cook as she used to be?'

I chortled out in laughter. He always thought with his stomach…well when he wasn't thinking with his dick. "Well, I don't know what she used to be like, but the lasagna was amazing."

"Lasagna!" he groaned out. At my look, he admitted, "We had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."

"Poor baby," I teased, before getting serious. "Bella misses you."

He grew still. "Not as much as I miss her."

"Why didn't you go looking for her?" I felt almost guilty asking the question, but it was something I'd wanted to know.

"She didn't come looking for me…for everyone else, but not me. I didn't even know what had happened until it was too late. I should have gone after her, but I just thought that maybe…I don't know…that she'd decided we just weren't worth it. I had to respect that." He looked down, and I could see the sadness in his eyes. "Bella and me…we were always so close, and when I realized she hadn't tried to contact me…I thought she was letting me know that she was letting me go. Can't say I blamed her even then. God, if I'd only known…"

Pulling his fingers apart from where they'd clenched together, I smoothed my fingers across them. "Em, did you ever believe her capable of the treachery that Tanya claimed?"

"Hell no! BB doesn't have it within her."

"BB?"

He chuckled. "Short for Bella Baby."

I smiled back at his bashful look.

"Tanya was always after Edward. I wasn't surprised that she was the root of all the problems. Honestly, I don't understand how she could have come from Uncle Eleazar and Aunt Carmen. I'm just glad we don't have to see her."

"She was awfully brave to come and admit to your family what she'd done all those years ago, and more recently to write that letter when her parents told her what was happening."

"Yeah…well…I'm not impressed. Too little too late. I thought Edward was going to throttle her when she walked in. Had she not been pregnant, I'm not so sure I could have held back," he admitted to me. "Two times too many, if you ask me," he finished in regards to the exact number of times that we'd seen the woman since she admitted to her treachery.

"What did the letter say?" I asked, uncertain if he would share because of the whole attorney privilege thing.

"Words that, like any explanations we can offer, I fear are fifteen years too late."

The silence settled around us before I said what I wanted him to know. "I love Carlie already, and I like this 'BB.' I want to be her friend, if she will allow me."

His lips gently kissed mine as he worshipfully cradled my face between his hands. "Thank you, Rosie. You'll never know what that means to me."

**Chapter 16 Jacob POV**

I'd screwed up and knew it as soon as I opened my mouth. Bella was pissed at me, and she had a right to be. Leah's eyes flashed dark fire at me, letting me know that I was most likely about to spend more nights than I would like to consider on the couch.

"Leah, I'm sorry!" I breathed out, hoping that my sincerity might help. When she snarled at me, I knew it hadn't.

"I know you want to keep her like a little sister, but Bella has fooled you long enough. That woman has had lovers, Jacob. She has just been wise enough to hide them from you. You aren't her father!"

"Lovers!" I roared, stuck upon that one word. "But…" Finally, I was able to form the one thing I wanted to know. "WHO!" My wife turned from me at that point and a sense of relief poured over me. "You don't even know if she has had one, you are just guessing," I growled out.

She shrugged being noncommittal. "Your response was exactly as I suspected, though. How do you expect her to be honest about her feelings or desires if you act like an overprotective fool every time she discusses a possibility?"

"It isn't as if I don't want her to date, Leah. I wanted her with Felix; he would have been good for and to her."

"So why the concern about Demetri?" she said from where she looked out the window across the way toward Bella and Carlie's.

"I don't know his heart! As you so readily pointed out, I should have protected her from Cullen, but I let her do it her way that time. Look where it got her!" I clenched my hands in frustration. "Leah, I've never claimed to be a smart man. The wisest thing I ever did was ask you to be my wife!" It was true, and it had come out of my mouth without forethought, but I saw her face change slightly…grow softer. I knew better than to think that I was free and clear.

"Leah, I'm a man, I know how to work with my hands, manipulate and build things. What do I know about the mind of a woman? You, Samantha, Carlie, and Bella keep me tied up in knots. Give me a wrench, a broken engine, and Seth any day. Those, I can work with. Anything with an X chromosome…I'm at a loss."

Her hands brushed across my cheek then. "Jake, you know more about women than most men. Go to her and let her fuss at you. She'll feel better afterward and so will you. It is how the two of you relate. God forbid the person who gets between you without your permission. For isn't that what made you so mad about Edward, that he was given a piece of her heart."

"He chewed it up and spit it out, that is what made me mad. I want for Bella what you and I have, someone who will live and die for her."

"Well, for now you're all she's got."

The steps I took between the house and the garage seemed as if I was walking a mile. "Walking the mile…walking the green mile." It did feel like I was walking to my execution. Bella was quite proficient with her fists, and if the sound I was hearing coming from the garage was any indication, she was putting her skill to good use. Shuddering, I knew what my penance was going to be.

She was already breaking a sweat when I stepped inside, the music so loud that she couldn't hear me. When I touched her shoulder, she spun and punched me in the gut, causing the air to whoosh out of me.

"Damnit, Bella!" It was hard to concentrate through the stars blinding me. "I'm sorry." My voice came out in a wheeze. Damn she was strong.

The punching started again, but at least this time, it was on the bag. Moving to steady it, I thanked God above that she could only hit my arms. I was still going to be bruised in the morning, and I could imagine the heck the boys would give me at practice, but as I profusely apologized to her over and over again, at least the strikes got softer.

"I know you can do whatever you want to do. You've proved it to me time and time again. I just worry, you know. It's what I do best. This Demetri guy…I just want to meet him okay, to know he is good guy. Is that too much to ask?"

True to form, she left me hanging to stew in the mess of my own making and see the folly of my ways.

"Love you!" I yelled out after her. "Bella!" The door shut on my pleas. God I loved that girl, she could be such a B sometimes, but thankfully she was or the world would attempt to run over her.

The next morning proved my salvation.

"Jake, we've got a problem!"

And with that, I was forgiven.

~SOMP~

"Dad," Carlie said softly as we drove back from school. I'd only had to threaten to deck one photographer to get out of the parking lot. "Will you be honest with me about something?"

Oh, hell. Looking in the rear view mirror and seeing that we were in the clear, I pulled over into Wendy's parking lot. Turning into a parking spot, I turned the Jeep off and then spun around to face her and Seth.

"Um…" she seemed embarrassed by my direct attention "…my father, what did you think of him before it all went south?"

There was no reason to not be honest. "We were very different, he and I. He was super smart, but you already know that. He loved music and was very polite. To be honest, I didn't 'dislike' him when Bella first introduced us. He was actually really cool with my Dad."

"What!" she gasped. "He's met Grandfather."

"Well, yeah briefly. We both liked sports, so that was something we had in common, other than our concern about your mother, that is. I don't know if he still watches football, but he had a good head for stats and picking the winning team."

"Okay, you said you didn't 'dislike' him, but did you 'like' him?"

What had I expected; she was going to be persistent? Again, there was no reason to not tell her the truth.

"I did." Looking up, I saw the tears in her eyes. Eyes so like his. "I liked him a lot actually. He made Bella happy. I'd never seen her the way she was with him." I knew he'd been jealous of our relationship, but he'd never been nasty to me.

"Before he became a bastard and broke her heart."

Seth and I both chuckled at her language.

"You know your mother blames me every time you use words like that."

She shrugged unconcerned. "I hear it more from Paul and Sam than you, why don't you just tell her that."

Wouldn't do any good. "I was as shocked as Bella by what happened. I wanted to kill him for what he did, but I had more important things to worry about. Namely the two of you…"

"Daddy…"

I knew where she was going. "Pip Squeak, I understand your need to get to know him. You're not being disrespectful to me in that." I knew this girl like I knew my own heart, and it was then I remembered what my brilliant wife had told me…maybe I did have a little knowledge about women. Or…at least the women in our family.

"He'll never take your place!" she said emphatically.

I leaned over the seat and patted her hand. "I know, because you're not like that. But you might find that he earns his own place. Your mom wants you to give him an opportunity. Now that everyone knows about him and you, you'll be hard pressed to ignore him completely."

"I know, but I'm just a little confused by this all."

"Who wouldn't be," I acknowledged, pulling everything out of me to make it right for her.

Bella and I'd talked on her way back from Aro's. We were going to support Carlie in whatever she decided to do. As Bella had said, "let them be the ones to mess up, not us."

I couldn't decide whether or not I wanted them to or not. If they did, it would mean that they would be the ones responsible for the chaos, but then of course, it meant there would be a mess and Carlie would be the one in the middle of it. Which was not acceptable.

"I will always love you, no matter what. Never forget that. Nothing you say or do will change how I feel about you and that is something I can promise."

She sobbed for a second and Seth wrapped his arm around her shoulder to calm her. My poor baby, so much drama for someone so little, but finally she looked up and gazed back at me with a clear and untroubled gaze. "I know, and that is why you'll always be my Daddy!"

**Chapter 18 Outtake – Aro POV (first part)**

"Sir, we're here," Santiago indicated softly from the front of the car, capturing my attention.

Putting the brief down that I was perusing, I looked up to see a mansion in front of me. If my information was correct, and it better be if my PI wanted to keep his job, I knew that although Garrett Martling had done well in life, he was not one to flaunt his wealth. His family was into understated elegance not brash opulence. The monstrosity in front of me with its fancy portico and overly done columns had to be at the insistence of the woman I was here to see.

Tanya Denali Martling. It would be as easy to call her Spoiled Rotten Brat, which would have been a much more appropriate name.

Over the years, I'd given little thought to the blond haired girl that Eleazar and Carmen had adopted. They'd desired a child for so long that when the opportunity finally came…a baby that could be taken from the hospital…they'd been ecstatic. The idea of denial had never entered their thoughts, showering the beauty with everything she desired. It wasn't until she'd reached her teen years that Eleazar had seen the error of his way. I think there had been the rumors of at least one abortion when she'd turned sixteen, possibly several others. It had been difficult to hear for me…knowing the desires that Sulpicia and I had for years as well. Providence hadn't seen fit to give us a child until Isabella literally stumbled through our doors. Then, Providence had been generous, giving me a child and grandchild all in one swoop.

Miracles that the vain woman ensconced in her self-made palace had harmed with her manipulations.

Edward Cullen would have to make reparations, and I would ensure that he did so appropriately…but where there was true sorrow in young Mr. Cullen's demeanor, I highly doubted that I would find such a level of regret from the young lady inside. I could be wrong, and I would be pleased to be proven so…but I doubted it. Rarely was I mistaken about human nature, call it a skill or just a sixth sense, but my reading of people had led me to many victories both personal and professional.

The door opened to my side and Santiago nodded politely. "I'll wait in the car, Mr. Velathri."

"Thank you. I don't expect I'll be long."

The walk to the door was short and sweet. She knew I was coming, having agreed, albeit reluctantly, to the appointment with me. So, I couldn't help the smirk that covered my face when she made me wait. She was attempting to establish who was in charge…foolish child. She didn't have it within her to play with me…

Finally, the door swung open to reveal a miserable looking woman. She was huge, ready to birth at any moment, and it would seem that she wasn't enjoying the last few weeks of pregnancy as most women didn't.

Without even an acknowledgement, she motioned for me to follow her. Impertinent chit.

"Look, I only agreed to meet with you so that you didn't go to Garrett. Having heard from my father what you are capable of, I knew that you would ruin my life without a care. So let's get this over with okay. I sent a letter to the Cullens to give to the girl, what more do you want of me?" Her tone was caustic.

"First, let me disabuse you of your misconception. Isabella is a full grown woman who took a very precarious situation and made a successful life of it. Girl she may have been when you last knew her, but she is now a woman fully capable of taking you out…" I grinned in a nasty manner "…even without my help. She has risen from the adversity you helped start in her life to be a successful business woman and mother." Allowing my gaze to settle on her protruding belly, I made sure my point was made before starting again. "Exactly what have you done with yourself over the past years, and who provided the money for this palatial structure?"

The twist of her eyes let me know that I'd made my point. She'd been living the life of Riley, off the sweat and determination of others.

"I am fully aware that you gave the Cullens a letter, I read it before calling to speak with you."

"Then what is the point of this visit!" she snarled and then twisted uncomfortably, attempting to find relief.

"That letter was nothing. Why would you want to see Isabella? Did you ever attempt to know her when you determined to meddle in affairs that weren't your own? I think you just want to twist it your way again. I assure you…" narrowing my eyes in warning "…you won't be allowed to do that again."

It was nice to see that I hadn't lost the touch. Her pupils dilated at the tone I'd adopted, so I took the time to smooth the soft material of my dress pants and straighten the cuffs of my shirt under the jacket. Sulpicia had pick out the suit...saying that the black one I'd selected made me look demonic. That'd been my plan, but there was still a sense of satisfaction that I could "rock" the dark grey…as Carlie would say.

"I'm growing impatient with your posturing, Mr. Velathri. You don't scare me."

Sure I didn't. The shaking of her hand belied her statement. Mere child's play. It would take more than a smart mouth to convince me. Isabella would eat this woman whole, I realized and wanted to chuckle at the realization, suddenly determined that a meeting between the two of them just might have to occur at my arrangement. It would do my heart good to see my girl tear this witch's dead one out and dance around it in glee. Maybe, just for me, she'd get a little clumsy and stomp on the offending item as she did it.

"As I said before, what do you want of me?" she growled out, bringing me back from my macabre desires.

"I want the proof you gave the Cullens that swayed them to believe your idiotic story. There is no way that just your words would have convinced them."

"I don't know what you mean?" she attempted an arrogant tone, scoffing at me.

I liked toying with individuals, the interplay of intellect to intellect. It was how I'd determined that Isabella must be the child of my heart, if not my loins. She kept up with me and often bested my attempts at cynicism. But Mrs. Martling provided little to no challenge. Not a patient man, as anyone who knew me would attest to it, I was suddenly and irreparably bored.

A bored Aro generally didn't bode well for the other person.

**Chapter 20 Outtake – Aro POV (part two)**

"Tanya, give me the proof, and I will allow this little meeting to remain surreptitious as you desire. If not, my first call won't be to your husband. You see, I do believe that the New England Martlings…of Mayflower fame…would find it difficult to stomach a traitorous snake within their blue blood family. I've bantered with Samuel Martling…the Boston Samuel Martling." I'd used his exact pretentious tone to say his name. "How are those family visits, by the way? Are you welcomed as you desire; feel included in the Yankee traditions?"

I could almost see her blood pressure rising, and I knew I'd hit a sore spot. But then I relented, thinking of the child; it was as innocent as Carlie had been.

"Give me what you used Tanya. My patience grows thin."

Feeling almost chivalrous enough to help her up, I resisted and remained seated as she struggled up and waddled out of the room. When she returned, the last act of rebelliousness that I would allow from her occurred when she threw the envelope at me. Sorting through them quickly I barely kept the rage from taking over. Ah…what a tangled web…

"What else?" I murmured, sliding the damning photos back into the manila envelope carefully when all I wanted to do was twist them in my fists.

"That's all there is," she attempted to convince me.

I'd had enough. Rising to loom over her, I didn't stop until she was pressed against the back of the couch, my face mere inches from hers. Now there was appropriate fear in her eyes.

"Little girl, do not test me. The only reason I have not destroyed you already is the respect I have for your father and the innocent baby within your stomach. However it is not beyond my belief that your husband can raise the child, and I can imagine that at some point I can make up to your father. There is more and I can see that in your eyes."

"I don't have it anymore."

"What do you not have?"

"A recording…I played it for his sister."

"Alice?"

"Yes!" she squeaked out.

"What did it say?"

"It was contrived. I had friends…they knew how to do stuff."

"What kind of 'stuff'?"

"That girl…"

My growl cut her off.

"Bella Swan, she read books at the libraries to kids, and they recorded them. I heard she is some book writer now…makes sense. She was always at the library…"

My hand slapping against the couch cut her evasion.

"I acquired copies of the recordings and my friend…" I was guessing he was more than a friend "…he pieced together a message to that Indian friend of hers."

"Saying what?"

"How she was in, and it wouldn't be long before their plan was complete. My words really; the recording was better."

Even still there was a sense of satisfaction on her face. Tanya was one of those humans that thrived on having more than others. She would never be satisfied. I pitied Mr. Martling and wondered what kind of relationship they had. It made me say thanks again to the heavenly father above that he'd graced me with Sulpicia.

"Where is the recording?"

"Little Alice went crazy, screaming that it couldn't be true. She was always bizarre…smashed it to pieces. To be honest, I was a little afraid of her."

Her eyes cut to the side then, and I was surprised that she'd been so honest.

"Alice is a pussycat in comparison to me. You make one move to contact the Cullens, Isabella Swan or her daughter, or the Blacks and I'll rip everything you hold precious away from you. I won't kill you, because that would be too kind. I'll make you watch as your life falls to ruins. It would seem poetic for that to be your punishment. But I do think that I'll let Isabella have a go at you first."

Spinning to leave the room, I barely heard her speak. "What?"

"I _am_ sorry, you know. I knew they were still reeling from what had happened, and it was just too convenient. Edward…I'd loved him, wanted him since I was a child. He never looked at me, no matter what I tried. It took him getting high…"

I interrupted her. "Sad isn't it, that you were only able to garner his attentions when he was out of his mind."

Her gasp of pain was my exiting music.

"Sir," Santiago said quickly, opening the door as I stepped to the car.

Tanya's screeching voice came then from the doorway to the house. She was yelling obscenities at me, telling me that I could kiss her ass, and how dare I threaten her. Several of the neighbors across the street looked over in resignation as they walked through the yard. Her harridan behavior must be common for them to respond in that way. Had Garrett Martling known what he was getting himself into, or had a beautiful face been his downfall. Pulling away, I watched in amusement as she continued to rail at me.

~SOMP~

"Mr. Velathri, Carlisle Cullen called. He would like to meet with you tomorrow if you have time available."

"Do I?"

Geniene, my secretary hesitated only a moment. "Is he important?"

There was a reason she was paid the exorbitant amount she was.

"He is."

"Then I believe your two o'clock appointment can be rescheduled for the next day."

"Very good, anything else?"

"No, sir. Did you have a good trip?"

"It was productive."

"Well then, for you that is a good day. I will see you first thing in the morning, Sir."

A peculiar silence invaded the car when I disconnected the car mobile. Lights flashed from outside as we moved into the city and Santiago continued the trip toward home.

What a mess. I was quite certain what Carlisle wanted to discuss. Although the information he would impart would be informative, I really just wanted to watch his face in assessment. He was an open book, incapable of perfidy. He would make a horrific lawyer, but was perfect at what he did…building a super conscious company. I was quite happy to allow him to battle the social and medical ills of society while I cleansed it.

Yes…the morrow would prove interesting.

For now, I pulled the envelope to me again. The pictures required multiple viewings to really digest. Picture after picture of the utmost love and respect, support and intimacy…but between two individuals who were for all intents and purposes family…not lovers.

**Aro POV outtake – Chapter 22**

"Mr. Velathri, Dr. Cullen is here to see you," Geniene paged through, drawing my attention from the civil liberties case I'd been studying. It was an intriguing piece on the challenge of terminally ill prisoners' rights to hospice care. A recent documentary of such a program, at the Louisiana State Penitentiary, had roused ire nationwide, but it was an intriguing premise…prisoners who'd been incarcerated for the vilest of crimes learning compassion through the responsibility of caring for their dying cohorts. I wasn't sold just yet, having come from a time when justice meant an eye for an eye. But there were many beside me who believed in the premise of compassion…speaking of…

"Please send Carlisle in, Geniene."

I'd bantered with the idea of whether or not to stay behind my desk and conduct this formally, or greet him as the old friend he was. Finally, good sense just won out, knowing that to present an obstacle at this time would prove fruitless. I'd agreed to this meeting in order to assess him, not reprimand. That could come later.

He was dressed informally, startling so for how I knew him to convey himself in public. It was early though, his second call to me coming but an hour ago, asking for a change in appointment time. His blond hair was still damp.

"Aro," he said softly, coming forward to greet me.

I internally smirked when he kissed my cheeks in traditional greeting. He'd learned from Marcus that a handshake was for acquaintances, not friends. Carlisle was playing his version of hardball, reminding me of our affiliations. I responded in kind before waving my hand toward the informal grouping of couches and chairs.

"You and I have never been much on pomp and circumstance between us. Do you want me to be formal or just go directly to the matter?" he asked me in a polite tone.

"Your choice."

He handed me a newspaper, and I growled out seeing the picture and caption, a red haze forming before my eyes.

"Edward is furious and out for blood. However, we need your help to quash this before it spirals out of control."

"Your thoughts?"

"A show of solidarity."

"With Isabella and your son in the center as focal points?"

"It makes the most sense. However, we would bow to your wisdom in the matter," he offered sincerely.

He wasn't dumb; other than his son-in-law, none of the Cullens had experience in subterfuge. We, however, were the masters. His plan was wise, grabbing the bull by the horns so to speak. If we went on offensive instead of defensive, we could control the questioning and process. For certainly the vultures would circle, and wasn't it better for us to be the ones determining the carrion for them to feed upon.

"Hmm…I believe that your idea has merit, but I would need to speak with everyone to make sure that whatever plan we devise will harness the energy for our purposes. I want to speak with your son, Carlisle. I need to understand him before I will approve of this."

A ghost of pain flittered across his face. "Edward would jump at the chance to speak with you. He wants all pretenses put aside."

"Really…how convenient. Now that she is back with my granddaughter in tow, she is good enough for him?"

I saw a flare of anger cross his face and was actually glad it appeared. Had he not had some human reaction to my inflammatory statement I would have been more concerned.

"It isn't that way, Aro, but the intent behind your statement has basis. Bella has every right to hate us. The events of fifteen years ago haunt us to this day, but I can only imagine how devastating they were for her." He looked at my face, assessing me. "I would tell you it all if you'll listen."

And so he did, each piece of it, including some I'd not been privilege to before now. He had no way of knowing that I had the evidence from Mrs. Martling. And even though I listened to his words to make sure I didn't miss anything new, I watched him intently as I'd planned. The agony as he told of what had happened was intense even now.

"Why didn't Edward go after her after he found out about Mrs. Martling's betrayal?"

"He hired a private investigator the next morning to find her, but before the sun set on the next day, he'd called the man and canceled his request. It was only then that we found out about Charlie. The man had done a records search and found his death certificate."

Carlisle stopped then, remaining quiet for a minute.

"Chief Swan was a good man…" he shook his disquiet off. "We assumed that Bella would have gone to Florida to be with Renee."

"Why did Edward call off the PI?"

The look on Carlisle's face was one I'd never forget…anguish, confusion, and regret all converged into one. "I have no idea." He glanced out the broad planes of glass behind me as if he was searching for the answers there. "Edward refused to speak of it then, and I haven't asked in years. At the time, Esme and I believed it to be a God send. We thought that Bella was happily married to Jacob and that to find them together would destroy Edward."

I started to interrupt to point out that Isabella deserved an apology for what they'd done to her, but his outstretched hand stopped me.

"Please just hear me out before you tear a strip off my hide. Yes, Bella did deserve our apologies; I know what you were going to snarl at me about. I'll get to Bella in a moment. But let me explain my idiocy first before you rightly do that."

As long as he realized that the issue would need to be addressed, I was fine with listening to what he needed to say.

"You know we almost lost him several times." He looked to me, and I nodded that I did. "Esme and I blame ourselves, no one else. We were so busy focusing on Alice and attempting to rebuild her life that we believed him when he said he was okay. He was seeing a shrink…" ah there was the traditional disdain of a doctor about the psychology field "…and the woman said he was 'coping well.'" He spit the last words out with venom. "He was having terrible nightmares and was unable to sleep well, but it seemed to calm down when we settled in Forks. It wasn't until we met Bella that we realized the reason." He glanced down at his lap, a secretive smile on his face. I was certain he was living some memory of the two of them. What I wouldn't give to be able to read his mind and see it for myself…

"It was such a Godsend to think that he would be fine so that we could focus on Alice. Of course, Bella was helping with that too…you just can't imagine. She was actually able to touch Alice. Do you know what it feels like to watch your daughter scream in agony or cringe in fear and to know that if you touch her it would only make it worse?" His hands had tightened into fists at the memories.

No, I couldn't. It had to be excruciating.

"But back to Edward. When he thought that Bella had deceived him…it was as if the floodgates opened and every mechanism he'd used to cope were thrown to the wind. He used so much cocaine that first day, that he almost died of a heart attack. Esme found him in bed the next day when the school called. Tanya had left him there, thinking he was dead. She didn't even bother to call an ambulance for fear she would get in trouble. Of course, we didn't know this until later. When we went to call Bella, Alice erupted, saying she'd caused Edward to overdose. But when Bella's phone calls to the house started, we pulled it out of Alice."

"Aro, I won't make it pretty. My first reaction was absolute devastation. I'm not some supernaturally compassionate person; I'm just a man, and my immediate response was anger. It took me several weeks to wake up and realize that something was…not right; however, I was distracted. Edward disappeared on us, and we spent an inordinate amount of time just trying to find him. Emmett panicked us when he called from college in hysterics…but fortunately, he thought of one of Edward's old acquaintances from high school. Sure enough, it was his first supplier. Edward was at his house, overdosing on the filthy bathroom floor."

"Where was Tanya during this time?"

"Around…" he grimaced "…around for the ride."

"What does this have to do with why you didn't find her yourself?"

"It took us several years to clean him up and during that time it was a struggle to get him to complete high school and then college. There were some good semesters then bad ones…it was a potshot what we would get. Suddenly, just like a light went off in his head…he cleaned up. I could see the determination when it finally hit him. Esme still cringes about the women he dated afterward…sometimes it was the ones he chose, and sometimes it was because they were appropriate, and we knew he wouldn't form a serious relationship. It was as if that part of him was dead."

"So when the news came about Bella, I was afraid. I was afraid he would find her and Jake, and that in doing so, it would set him back on the road to destruction. I was as astonished as anyone when he just refused to go any further."

"And…" He'd told me much of this, so I was more curious to know why he, the ultimate father, leader of his family, hadn't attempted to find one of his own. For certainly Carlisle had felt that way about Isabella then.

"I thought to find her, to apologize and let her know how wrong we'd been, but when I called Billy's home I was told that Bella didn't want to hear from me…us."

"Jacob's father?" I asked, incredulously.

"No, Billy has always been a voice of reason, and I thought he would at least be willing to give me an idea of where Jacob and Bella lived or at the least convey a message. I just wanted to speak with her, to congratulate her on her family and to tell her how wrong we'd been." He stopped and looked back at me. "It was Quil. The older one, the tribe's acknowledged leader. He took my number and promised that he would give Bella the message. I waited for weeks for her to call, and when she didn't, I called again. At the time, I thought it was wrong, continuing to call like that, but I just wanted to speak with her. One of Jacob's friends answered the second time. I don't even remember the young man's name, but he was very clear that the message had been delivered and that the silence was my answer."

"I thought I was being respectful Aro, leaving her alone then. To me, it wasn't surprising that she didn't want to speak with us. I mean, who could blame her? I never told Esme, not wanting to get her hopes up."

Intriguing… The two Quileute men had probably thought they were protecting her, and in doing so, had been just one more twist in the story I was beginning to uncover. I wanted to investigate this further. Why had they thought they had to do this? Was it simply because the Cullens had hurt Isabella so much, or was it something more? My guess was that they'd just circled the wagons around a girl they'd adopted into their tribe. But before I would reveal this to Isabella, I wanted to know why they'd made the decision. It would be an exciting piece of the puzzle to discover, analyze, and put in its place.

I knew why Carlisle had made the decisions he'd made…he loved her.

"When Carlie walked into that conference room…" his hands were actually shaking "…my only thought was that God had heard my prayers. Then, I felt guilty because I thought I was praying for the destruction of Jacob and Bella's marriage. For the first time in my life, I felt ashamed of myself and elated at the same time." He looked up and grinned at me. "You are going to think I'm a horrible person, but when I realized what Jacob was to Bella…who Carlie was…I wanted to shout out in joy."

"You have a long way to go before you should feel joy." I reprimanded him.

"Ah…Aro, I know. But I have to tell you that this is the closest I've been to having true happiness in my family in a long time, and I know that I'm coming off as a spoiled rotten child, but I can't help it. It's hard containing myself, and to tell the truth, I'm not doing such a good job." He smiled bashfully. "Bella has turned into an amazing woman; she's raised an exceptional child, whom I hope to get to know…"

"And you hope that Edward will win her heart again," I interrupted.

"I would be dishonest to say differently," he admitted. "Aro, you have had the pleasure of having Bella in your life for nearly a decade now. We only had her for a year."

I snarled at him. "That was a direct result of your actions."

"Yes, it was…there is no doubt. But together we can fix this Aro, if you are willing to help. I'm only asking you to work with us to keep the newspaper from ruining the possibility. My ultimate desire would be for Bella to allow Edward back in. He is a good man, regardless of what it may seem. He loves her, you know. He never stopped."

As if that was news…it was apparent to anyone in a room with them.

"But if all we have in the end is her as Carlie's mother…we'll attempt to be happy with that."

"You can attempt to humor me with your platitudes, but you want my daughter back within your fold. Love doesn't make this right, Carlisle. "

"No, but it is a start. Will you help us?"

"An agreement to this plan has nothing to do with helping you. Call your son, Carlisle…all three of them. Have them at your facility within the hour; we'll discuss where we shall go with this."

"Aro, I don't expect you to believe this, but we won't hurt her again. It is Bella's choice if she will have anything to do with us, but I promise if she gives us the opportunity…" he stopped, choosing his words wisely "…she won't regret it again."

I left him in the room on the phone with his eldest son, the lawyer.

"Geniene, have Victoria meet me here tomorrow first thing in the morning. I have a job for her."

"Yes, Mr. Velathri. I'll call her immediately.

If there was anyone who could ferret out whether there had been a nefarious reason those years ago for Carlisle's message to be kept from Bella…it was Victoria.

"Aro, would you like to ride with me?" Carlisle asked, having come out from my office.

"I'll decline Carlisle on your offer. I have business to attend to later."

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><p><strong>Would love to know your thoughts?<strong>


	26. Fences

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**I must also acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me in keeping it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherryola. In that spirit, I would like to acknowledge a degree of literary license in the upcoming chapters. The surgery that Bella will go through is a real procedure for retinal detachment; however, it is generally performed directly after the accident that would have caused such an injury. To conceive that it would be done 15 years after is a stretch, but one I'm using for the process of this story. Although research continues into the restoration of sight for individuals who are partially or entirely blind, it is still an emerging field. I have many friends who are disabled, including a beta who is blind – because I am giving Sherryola that distinction for this story, and one who is deaf – who works with me on my vampire stories. Disabled is a word I use to delineate that my friends have limited capacity in some manner. They would describe their lives as full and rich, as we will see from Bella's internal monologue below. **

**In addition, a big thank you to NMW for reading through my new story Downward Spiral and giving me suggestions for possible tweaks for it and this chapter of Sins. She is masochistic enough to consider reading through Harvest Moon for a possible re-edit. The woman is crazy (in the best possible way). To my peeps, Suzie55, LemonMartinis, and TwiloverSue (my beta for this story). You guys have been my total inspiration to continue doing this thing. I owe you more than I can say, and you are personally responsible for me not giving up on this fandom.**

**Lastly, I apologize for sending Aro and Carlisle's piece through at the end of the SOMP outtake chapter instead of just a review reply. It took me several days to kick the virus I caught, and then FF was giving me fits. I finally lost it and just posted! If you aren't receiving the review replies when you do leave me some love…let me know. Some of you have PMs blocked so they aren't going through, and I need to exchange email addresses so that I can send them. **

**I can be reached at content1akaapril (at) gmail (dot) com. Yeah…I'm sending my private email…you know how to get me anyway. **

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

"So he was standing there, clad only in his boxers as three sororities of girls looked on. He wore their signatures for at least a week before they washed away."

I snorted so hard at Demetri's story about a drunken, college-aged Felix that I almost had choked on the sip of wine I'd just taken.

"How is it that I'm just hearing these stories?" I asked as soon as I could get the coughing under control. His quickly applied slaps to my back had helped tremendously.

I could hear the humor in Demetri's voice when he answered. "Isabella, he was trying to woo you. Why would he divulge such secrets?"

It was just one in the long list of Felix stories that Demetri had shared over dinner and on the way to the play. Now standing in the lobby of the Broadway theatre, we were finally getting around to some juicy ones.

"So…tell me your worst one," I teased.

"HA! I should tell you no, now that I'm attempting to woo you!" he declared in mock horror.

I knocked him in the ribs in glee. It was so easy to be with him. He was right, knowing that this wasn't something we were both planning on being serious…it was freeing. It was kind of like having a Jake that I could lust over.

"Ah…they're flickering the lights Isabella. Shall we go?" he attempted evasion.

I allowed him to think he'd accomplished it until we were seated.

"So, if I reveal one of mine, you'll do yours?" I made him a tempting offer.

"Oh…you're good. So you entice me with a glimpse into the hedonistic past of one Isabella Swan. I would LOVE to hear this. My father and mother think you're a saint."

Hardly…

"Hm…let me think. I don't have too many drunken stories, but I did indulge a few times. The Rez boys could fill you in on those. I did pull a particularly wicked practical joke on one of the guys I dated."

"Do tell…" He was truly intrigued.

"Well, he was into skydiving and had finally convinced me to go up with him. He was all paranoid thinking we had to jump in tandem, because I wouldn't be able to see when to pull the cord. If there is one way to piss me off it is to assume I can't do something…I'm not a masochist; I'll admit when something is beyond me."

"Thank you for that information, I'm duly warned," he interrupted in a cheeky manner.

I chuckled before continuing. "So anyway, I hired an instructor without him knowing it and asked her to teach me what to do. She even took me to a place where I could be harnessed in and practice landing. So the day we went up, I insisted on doing it myself. He was panicking, but he wasn't about to challenge me after I'd cut him a new one. So we jumped together and the whole time he's yelling out what to do and how far down we were. I, on the other hand, was totally intrigued by the feeling of the free fall and the wind in my hair and was oblivious to anything but the thrill of it all. We had to let go of each other's hands to release the chutes, and I made a big production for a few seconds about not being able to find the chord…started screaming hysterically…pretty much put on a show."

"Shit…" I heard him whisper.

"Yeah…he about did." My soft laughter joined his. "So anyway, I finally felt sorry for him when I could hear him panicking and ripped the cord. I heard his chute open immediately. He cursed the rest of the way down, and it wasn't until we landed that I realized how much trouble I could have been in. Had he not been able to maneuver close to me and give me a countdown to the ground, I probably would have broken some legs, not knowing when it was coming up. But…he never underestimated me again."

"Did you go skydiving again?"

"MOST certainly, it is totally a rush."

The music started cutting off any further conversation, but the memories of my times flying free made me smile. It wasn't until we were in the car heading toward the hotel that I reminded him of the need to repay me with a story of his own.

"You, my dear, are the devil. Remind me never to enter into a contest of wits with you. I probably would have died of a heart attack when I saw you struggling with those cords, so we would have both been mincemeat. Mine are more things that Felix and I got ourselves into. Dad had to bail us out of jail one time when we thought it would be fun to start a bar fight."

"I just told you about a time I used my disability to almost give my date a heart attack, and you honestly believe that I'm going to let you slide with a 'mine are more things that Felix and I got ourselves into.' C'mon now…"

He laughed deeply, the sound filling the cab and making me grin.

"I tried to get Uncle Aro once…but it backfired horribly on me," he said in a tantalizing tone.

"Now, we are getting somewhere!" I settled back into the seat. I would die for anything to hold over Aro's head.

"I was twenty one and still in college. I had a detective friend of mine call Uncle Aro and tell him that I'd been arrested and thrown in jail for drugs."

I couldn't imagine that going over so well with Aro. My suspicions were quickly confirmed by his next statement.

"He asked the detective which court I would be seen in and informed him that representation would be there for the seventy two hour hearing."

"He was going to allow you to stay in jail?" I squeaked out.

"I asked him that later, and he told me that he assumed I was attempting to pull something over, but that either way it would be a good lesson to me. I think his exact words were 'I don't have time for that type of foolishness, young man.'"

"That's not really an embarrassing story about you, like the one you gave me on Felix," I scolded.

"Hm…I lost a bet with Felix once and had to dress up like a woman and act like his date…"

"What!" That was what I'd been talking about.

"But, I don't know who that was more embarrassing for…me or him. I didn't make a pretty woman."

I was betting on that. His features had felt too masculine and angular. Humor at the thought washed over me.

"You're tall, I know, but what color eyes and hair do you have Demetri?

"Blue eyes and ashy brown hair."

"From Marcus and Didyme?"

"Probably the same genetic flaw that produced Uncle Caius," he joked.

"Or an affair, like Caius believes," I quipped back.

He snickered at the statement. "My mother is incapable of looking at another…she is too entranced with my father."

Ah…to find that kind of love.

"What color hair did you have as a woman?" I threw out, sending him into a spin.

I felt his shudders from beside me. "A redhead…can you imagine? It was the most garish wig I've ever seen. The ass even made me shave my legs."

I was still laughing at the thought when we pulled into the hotel.

A frigid wind hit me as I opened the door, and even though I felt less than cordial in not waiting on him as he suggested, I grabbed ahold of the edges of my coat with one hand and began forward, counting the steps in an attempt to find the shelter of the warm lobby. About half way through the steps, a breeze came from my side…and time stood still.

Electricity raced across my skin as the smell on the wind overwhelmed me.

As if pulled forward by an invisible force, I moved a few steps toward where I sensed a presence, releasing the coat to outstretch my hand. Was I going crazy? The feeling was so certain…

Electricity crackled across my skin, making the hair on my arms stand up and my heart race. Heat radiated across the breath of space between me and the phantom, and the wind stirred slightly again drenching me in the smell of the person in front of me.

Ed…

Anthony?

I opened my mouth to call out, but then a group of giggling women all but ran me over. Frustrated, I waited for them to move away, but it was as if their passage had scared away the specter. Nothing was left. It was a disconcerting feeling. Taking another step further, I reached out with my senses and couldn't find a thing, except the faintest trace of the intoxicating smell that had ensnared me.

"Isabella?" Demetri's voice came to my side in a concerned tone. I'd taken several steps off the main pathway, so I was certain he was curious.

"Um…sorry, I just thought…" I couldn't finish the sentence. Just what had I thought? Cocking my head, I listened intently to see if I could perceive anything to explain my strange experience.

Nothing… It was gone. I'd almost thought, "He's gone." How silly.

Turning back to the man at my side, I allowed him to lead me to the warmth.

~SOMP~

After my lunch date with Leslie and "The Man," as she called him, I finished off the day at a signing. The next morning had held similar plans, but my afternoon appointment at a small bookstore turned into an emotional experience. In my contract, I'd insisted that all my books be published in a set number in Braille and audio books for me, sending copies to the state schools for the blind. Hearing a child's voice approaching, my surprise was immense when my fingers skimmed the front cover, in an effort to turn to the front page for my signature, and encountered the raised lettering.

"What is your name?" I asked in delight.

"Madison."

"And where did you get this book, Ms. Madison?"

"At my school. My mama found out you were going to be in town, and I just had to come meet you."

"Is your mother with you?"

"I'm right here. It is nice to meet you Ms. Black-Swan."

"Bella, just Bella, please. Would you be willing to lead her to me?" I asked in an excited manner and heard Madison's answering squeal.

"Mama! Please!"

And after signing her book, I had Leslie bring an extra chair for my helpmate. During the rest of event, I had a perfect companion and learned an incredible amount about her life, including that she was awaiting the same surgery I was facing.

"I'm on a list, but my mama and daddy are saving for it."

As she left, I made sure that we exchanged contact information. My small foundation could certainly help, and I would personally insure that she received copies of my other books.

But with the return to the hotel, I'd grown anxious, knowing that nothing further stopped me from being in my own place. Marcus and Demetri came back to find me nervously pacing.

"I believe I need to call our pilot, Demetri. Our lady is anxious to return home…"

Demetri saw us off with a quick and sneaky kiss to my lips. "I'll see you in a week," he promised, as he rubbed his thumb across my lower lip…as if he was making sure the kiss stayed with me.

He'd asked if I wanted him to change his plans so that he could be at the hospital when I came out of surgery, but I'd held him off. Having thought about it, I knew that I would be much more comfortable with just my family there. Jake, Leah, Seth, Samantha, and Carlie had seen me at my best and worst, and we'd weathered many a storm together. It would be easier to handle any disappointment with just them around. I didn't want the further stress of having to feel like I needed to behave in front of my extended family. Once I felt oriented, I would invite them.

Marcus and his driver delivered me to the house late evening, and instead of going to Jake's and Leah's to wake them, I allowed Marcus to escort me into the house and then said my adieus. The peacefulness of the familiar territory, the smells of home, and the silence were a blessed relief after the chaos of the last days. A hot shower, some stretching exercises, and a small glass of white wine…and I was relaxed enough to crawl into bed. I expected to fall asleep the minute my head hit the pillow, smiling at the sense of peace that being home gave me. I loved doing book tours, meeting new people, visiting new places, and brokering new contracts. But this time, I was glad to snuggle down into my own covers. With the peace and quiet surrounding me, I allowed my mind to wander.

It had only been a few weeks since everything in my life had been thrown into bedlam; since my impetuous, highly intelligent, and extremely lovable daughter had brought home her father. So many years of silence, and now they were anything but. That things weren't as they'd always seemed…well, it was troubling.

Rolling over, I punched the pillow in an attempt to make it conform to me better.

What was I willing to give up, if anything?

Maybe nothing, maybe some.

Certainly, as I'd been saying, I wanted Carlie to know her father and family. But the thought that she'd been denied them so long through the viciousness of a girl and the bad decisions of Anthony and his family...it was infuriating.

But there had been extenuating circumstances, a voice reasoned.

There had been, and although I wanted to say I could just allow us to start again with a clean slate, I couldn't. It would take time for me to learn to trust them again, if I ever could. Perhaps I should feel guilty about being so reserved, but I didn't. Deep within my soul, down where no one else could see, I often wondered if my experience with what had happened had actually scared me in a way that I would never recover from. Oh, I paid a therapist good money to help me get to the point of trusting again, but there was a numbness that always seemed to exist…just the faintest touch of ennui that I couldn't shake.

Very few experiences totally erased the feelings and those only for short periods of time.

The thought brought me around to my New York phantom…so named from the wonderful show that Demetri had taken me to just prior to my experience. I was convinced that I'd imagined it all and therefore hadn't mentioned the experience to anyone. My family thought I was crazy enough, there was no reason to add fuel to the fire. But in that same part of me that I hid from everyone else, I fantasized about my own scared phantom stalking me from the shadows. Unfortunately, if Erik, the Phantom of the Opera, heard me sing…he'd run screaming away. Music was not my forte. Thankfully, Carlie had gotten her father's talent.

The thought brought me around to something I'd forced far away.

"I did once; not anymore."

What had he meant? I attempted to imagine him without his music; it was almost impossible, inconceivable really. It was like me endeavoring to live and breathe without writing. But what had the little girl said…something about Esme attempting to get him to play.

Turning back over again, I grumped, certain there was a logical explanation. He must have meant that he hadn't played in a couple of weeks. I was not a monster…it did cause me concern to learn that he was possibly allowing such a talent to go to waste.

But enough about the things I couldn't control; I needed to get some rest. My tests were to take precedence for the next few days, and then my pre-op consultation with Felix was scheduled for Wednesday afternoon. Assuming that everything was okay medically, I'd be going under the knife before the end of the week. My stomach lurched slightly, causing me to smirk. I hated blood, and thinking about the possibility of surgery made me nauseous. Having finally made the decision to try, I was anxious to see if my sight might be partially restored. I wasn't expecting a miracle, having gotten a factual lecture from Felix about what might or might not occur because I'd waited so long. Because of the many consultations along the way, I knew to expect some vision problems.

Uncertainty raced along my nerves, and the secret Bella came out again. Fearful of coming into the light, she danced around in my head. What my friends and family couldn't conceive was that I was scared of the possibilities.

I'd been blind now as long as I'd had sight. It was a world of dichotomous realities that I lived in. I remembered the bright world that lay beyond my ruined eyes. It was rich in bright colors and seductive because I wanted to "know" what my child actually looked like…versus the version I'd created in my head from Jake and Leah's descriptions. I wanted to see the plethora of pictures and videos they'd taken over the years, capturing the milestones in the hopes that one day I'd be able to view them and match them with the tactile experiences I treasured. I knew what the color brown looked like…could envision it when I'd been told that Carlie had the same color hair as me. Sure I wouldn't know where the highlights of red where, but I could conjure up the picture. I could assimilate a visual of Aro and Cia…of Seth, ie…Jacob Junior, and Samantha.

I was extremely privileged considering that most visually impaired individuals had been so from birth and didn't have the same memories to rely or expound upon. What did brown mean to someone who'd never seen it? At one time, Leslie had proposed the idea that I could be a spokesperson for the visually impaired. I'd felt like a fraud when she mentioned it, and in addition, I didn't want my face all over the news or books, so I'd quickly nixed the idea.

But the Bella I'd become…she was blind…and she'd adapted to her world. I actually enjoyed who I was, which was something that few could say. I enjoyed my life; my family…my child…my career. Adding sight back, which most would have thought was ideal, well although there was a part of me that desired it; there was also a part that feared the changes it would bring. It was easy to hope for something when it seemed ideal. It was more difficult to maintain the same level of excitement when you really didn't know how the change may affect your life. Would the smells of flowers be as strong, or would my senses adapt again and my enhanced ability diminish? Would the cool feel of silk or satin under my fingertips still be the tactile delight that they were now? The wind as full of cues? My hearing as acute?

Although gaining my sight might be a positive in many ways, in the dark cover of my bedroom, with no one else around to debate with...I could admit these were my fears. It was times like these that I wanted a soul mate to communicate with, someone who would allow me to talk, understanding my hesitation. Jake served as this for me as best as he could, but even as close as we were, I was always aware of the boundaries. Jake was Leah's mate, not mine.

Poor guy, he had it rough between the two of us.

Reaching down, I found the switch for the electric blanket and turned it a little higher, imagining the warmth coming instead from a set of arms surrounding me, a body spooning mine. My mind was fertile…I didn't need much to send myself off to sleep, dreaming of being cherished.

~SOMP~

"Ms. Swan, if you'll have a seat here, Doctor De Luca will be with you in just a moment. The chair is approximately ten feet forward, directly at 12:30."

I wanted to snicker at the military precision of the nurse. She was one of my favorites…no nonsense, but clearly desirous of doing her job in an efficient manner. I appreciated her frankness and acknowledgement of my blindness. It was refreshing.

"Thank you," I informed her.

The space smelled of him, making me feel immediately comfortable as I made my way forward and slid into the soft leather seat. Since the surgeon would be flying in, Felix had agreed to do the pre-op consult. I couldn't help the nervous jerking of my leg as I waited. Between Jake, Leah, and Carlie's enthusiasm at my return, I'd had to fit in the trips for blood work and other tests over the past two days. We were just two from the scheduled surgery date, and with each passing moment, my excitement increased. Within just a minute, I heard his raised voice coming towards me and then his footsteps outside the door. His small huff of breath just before he stepped into the room didn't set me at ease.

"Isabella," he murmured softly in greeting, and I knew something was wrong from his voice.

"Is something wrong with the blood tests?" My voice quivered despite my best attempt to control it. I'd hated giving the blood, and wouldn't it just be apropos for it to be the bane of my existence, getting in the way of something I wanted. "I can't possibly have much more left after the way your techs have siphoned it out of me. Are you certain none of them are vampires, stocking away my O positive for their private feast?"

He barked out in laughter. "No! No…you're healthy as a horse…considering your condition."

"My condition?"

"We can't do surgery while you're pregnant Isabella. The stress could cause you to lose the baby."

My mouth gaped open like a fish. I felt flush and then the blood boiled to the surface of my skin. "You are too freaking funny! I notice you are standing far enough away that I can't hit you with my cane. So give me the real bad news," I growled out at him. Pregnant indeed!

"Well, it was worth a shot. My dear friend is being unusually quiet about just how your relationship is developing. You know…you have a pretty good poker face when you aren't looking like a dying largemouth bass."

"FELIX!" I growled out in a fairly good imitation of an angry lion.

He sat down in front of me then, and I felt much better when he patted my hand. It was a familiar sign of comfort from him. "That was Jacques on the phone. He has a family emergency and can't come into town this week for the surgery. His mother has fallen ill, and he is going to have to take a leave of absence to travel to France to be with her. He doesn't know when he'll be back."

I blew out the breath I'd been holding in. "Whew! That wasn't as bad as what I was expecting."

I had been imagining that something might be wrong with me. I knew then that Felix had intentionally attempted to shock me, so that the distress of finding out that the surgery had to be postponed wouldn't be as hard. This time I patted his hand, but I couldn't help the tears that gathered in my eyes.

"S'kay," I said attempting to comfort him, but when the tears started rolling down my face, he pulled me into his lap.

"I'm so sorry. I feel like such a schmuck to get you this far, only for the rug to be pulled out from under you." He murmured the words against the top of my head.

The tears were falling in earnest now. "It's okay, it isn't as if I can't have the surgery…it's just that I'd finally settled to it, and the delay seems like an eternity."

"And again…I feel responsible for part of your angst. Jacques was extremely apologetic, but it does sound like his mother is in a bad shape."

"I'll pray for her, that she'll get better soon."

He leaned forward, and I heard him pulling tissues out of a box before they were placed in my hand.

"To borrow one of your favorite sayings…this sucks!"

Puffs of laughter tore out of me, hearing his words…words I'd utilized many times during the emergency room visits I'd inflicted on him over the years.

He remained quiet while I attempted to get my tears under control. Finally, when my sobs stopped and my lap contained a bunch of ratty tissues, he hugged me lightly. "He made me the promise that he will come here first when he returns to the states."

"Okay."

"Can I take you home?"

"Actually, that would be nice, but as a fancy emergency room doctor…does your office have a restroom where I might wash my eyes?"

"Of course."

He waited for me and then escorted me to the basement parking lot before helping me into his car. The purr of the engine was a soft vibration as he began to pull out, and then like a psychotic man, he jerked the car to the side and stopped.

"Felix?" I half shouted out at the unexpected maneuver.

"I have an…" he ended with a curse. The tension in the stopped car was barely tolerable.

"Just spit it out," I told him quickly, unused to him holding back with me.

"There is an ophthalmologist in Seattle who is skilled in the procedure, Isabella. In fact, he is as well respected as Jacques."

I wondered why he hadn't mentioned this before, but I knew that Felix trusted his friend, so perhaps it was just that he didn't know this man as well or at all. "Are you suggesting that I consider contacting this doctor to see if he could perform the procedure before Jacques might be able to return?"

It wouldn't surprise me if he was…because he wouldn't want the delay to give me a reason to change my mind.

"Do you know him?" I finally asked when he remained quiet for a long time.

"Only by reputation."

If Felix didn't know this man, there was no way I'd get in for surgery quickly. Jacques had been a God-send against the evils of delay. Flickers of fear brushed against me…taunting me with the torture…mocking my hope.

"Well then, there is no use to worry about it. We'll wait on Jacques, because I know enough about the medical field to know that this man wouldn't do you or me a favor just because you're a fellow doctor."

He stopped my blathering. "No…but his practice operates under the auspices of Cullen Enterprises."

Several choice words ripped out of my mouth before I realized this was the reason he'd hesitated.

Ah…what a tempest formed on the horizon.

~SOMP~

"Dr. Cullen, there is a Ms. Swan and a Dr. De Luca here to see you," Carlisle's receptionist said.

The curiosity in her voice was clear to me. Certainly, the gossip of what had occurred just a few weeks prior had filtered to this level. She must have some idea of who I was. The way she said Felix's name made me think she must be young, but I couldn't tell. I was certain that he would cause interest in just about any female. It made me feel protective of him…for Jane and me, because although he wasn't to be mine, a small part of him still was and would always be. He was special.

I couldn't hear what Carlisle said into the phone, but the receptionist repeated his name. "Dr. Cullen?"

When the door behind her all but ripped off its hinges, I realized he must have laid the phone down and made toward us as soon as she said our names.

"Felix…Bella?" His cultured voice washed over me.

I would admit that I'd had a small crush on Carlisle as a girl…who wouldn't have. He was almost too pretty to be called handsome, but calling him beautiful would have been emasculating…and there was nothing "unmasculine" about the man he'd been then. His voice as well had been intoxicating. He'd been in the prime of his life when I'd visited their home and his sunny disposition had been difficult to ignore. I'd often wondered just who was more alluring, him or his son. And then there was Emmett…well he was a man's man, and a girl's man… Leah had described Rosalie as a princess, and I hoped that Emmett had his hands full with her, because he needed someone more beautiful than he was ruggedly handsome to keep his ego in line. I wanted to snicker at the memory of the bear of a boy I knew then…did he look the same now or had time refined him for the better or worse? He still seemed just as muscular from the death hug he'd given.

"Dr. Cullen, Isabella and I would like to speak with you about a private matter," Felix threw out for us, and his words proved motivating.

"Come in, please. Mrs. Cope, would you rearrange my schedule for…" he left off, uncertain how long our conversation would take.

"I would suspect at least several hours," Felix noted quickly and succinctly.

"For the day," was the Cullen patriarch's response, and it was tinged with curiosity.

"Certainly," she said softly, and I heard the phone being settled back into the cradle.

My thought that Carlisle had set down the phone without responding when he heard our names was confirmed as we stepped into his office. The blaring was apparent until he walked away and settled the phone.

Having guided me to a couch, Felix took the opportunity to squeeze my hand lightly in support. I'd decided to be the one to speak with Carlisle during the time we'd sat in the underground parking garage, and Felix had listened to my rants. I could wait on Jacques…I'd realized, but I also had access to another option. I just had to decide if I was going to allow my pride to stand in the way, or do what most logical adults would do and call in a favor. That the favor would be from Carlisle…

When I heard him settle across from us, I took a deep breath and dove in before he could begin with the cordials. "Carlisle, I was scheduled to have Vitrectomy surgery on Friday. My surgeon, Dr. Moreau, had to cancel due to a family emergency. He is uncertain when he will return. I was resolved to the fact that it would just mean a wait, but Felix suggested another option."

I could hear him moving from across us and imagined him either leaning forward or moving closer in the seat.

"He indicated that one of the surgeons who works for your company is as skilled as Dr. Moreau?"

A breath of air rushed out of him before he answered. "Dr. Livingston is world renowned. He's performed miracles with his latest techniques and is reporting decreased recovery time with the laser surgery he utilizes. Is there a possibility that you might also require a sclera buckle?"

Okay, although the possible procedures had been explained to me, I knew I was out of my league and looked over to Felix for his input.

"It is a possibility. Jacques was worried about the age of Bella's injury, so I've discussed all the possibilities with her to the best of my ability. Jacques was going to review it in more detail the day of the procedure with her."

"Daniel is an amazing surgeon. I don't believe you could be placed under better care for what you need, Bella."

I nodded hearing the certainty in his voice. I might have an issue with the Cullen family, although it had been somewhat negated by what I'd learned from Aro, but I would never doubt Carlisle's expertise as a doctor or medical professional.

"I will call him for you if you would like. He is a good friend, and I am certain that he will be happy to consult with you. And if you determine he is a good fit for what you would like, he'll have at his disposal any of the amenities of the hospital."

I heard what he wasn't coming out and saying. He would call this surgeon and ask him to do the surgery for me…I was betting that it would be within days if my test results were to the man's liking.

Carlisle was waiting though, for my word.

"I would very much appreciate your help in this." Now…had that been so hard? Surprisingly not. It wasn't that I thought they "owed" me, but it was that I was asking on my own terms that made it palatable.

"Felix, you'll serve as her general medical consult?" Carlisle asked, even as he dialed numbers on a cell phone.

"That is up to Isabella."

"No! That is perfect," I said quickly, unwilling to totally be thrown into the enemies' territory alone.

"Camille, it's Carlisle. Is Daniel available?" There was barely a half a minute of silence. "No…I'm not ready to take you on in tennis again! I almost had to have my rotator cuff replaced after the last thrashing you gave me." Obviously, the man possessed humor and was giving Carlisle down the road for beating him. "No, I have a personal favor to ask…" He stopped as if he was struggling for words. "My granddaughter's mother has consulted with another surgeon regarding Vitrectomy surgery. It was scheduled to occur within the next few days, but there has been an unfortunate event which necessitated the rescheduling of the medical procedure." A pause. "Dr. Moreau." Another pause. "Yes, yes, my thoughts exactly. If he believed it possible…." A third pause. "I can ask them to get the medical documentation delivered…"

He stopped, seeing Felix reach into the portfolio we'd returned to the office for.

"They have the paperwork here with them. I can have them couriered to you." He stopped. "I didn't mean for you to get dressed and come here!" Another stop. "Let me ask."

"Bella, Daniel's wife has just informed him that they have a "book club" coming to their house for lunch. He indicated that you would be his personal savior if you would give him an excuse to escape. It seems that they are doing a reading of some new teenage vampire novel that is all the rage. I believe I literally heard him shudder over the line."

I couldn't help the quirk of my lips at the vision of a world renowned surgeon running from his house in horror at the mighty wiles of a book club, but I'd literally experienced a group of women when they became rabid over such an experience. So, it wasn't inconceivable.

"He means to come here, now?" I asked just to clarify.

"That is what he is offering."

"Felix?"

"I was coming off my shift, Isabella. All I had planned was lunch with Jane before I went home to crash. I'm certain that she would understand considering what this might mean to you."

"Let me leave a message on Jake's phone, because he'll call between classes to check on me and the status of the results. He'll worry if I'm not home."

"I'll have Ms. Cope order a light lunch," Carlisle responded, his voice somewhat hopeful.

I was certain that he saw this as a way to begin the mending of the fence between us, and perhaps it was actually the first step…the removal of the first rotting board, replacing it with a sturdier one. Just the first in a long length of rotten boards that needed to be examined.

Leaving a message on Jake's phone took but a minute, while I could hear Felix across the room speaking to Jane, his soft mumblings telling me even more than the words would…had I been able to hear them.

I moved back to the couch, really unsure as to what to do while we waited. It wasn't "uncomfortable," but I certainly didn't feel totally at ease. Reaching down to the purse I'd sat beside me, I knew that I could listen at least to my newest book…the same teenage vampire story that poor Daniel was running from…that I kept hidden on my iPod. It was my guilty pleasure. No wonder I was envisioning phantoms in the shadows…

"Bella, is there anything I can get you while we wait? Mrs. Cope indicated that lunch will be here within the hour." Carlisle had come back over to me, and I could tell that he was nervous from the inflection in his voice.

"I'm fine, but…thank you."

"I'm not attempting to stir up animosity at this moment, but I would like to apologize."

I froze thinking that he couldn't possibly want to begin a discussion about our past now. He must have seen my reaction and rushed in to explain.

"No, please don't worry. I wouldn't dare presume you are ready to talk about our past, although I would gladly take the opportunity when and if you allow it. I wanted to apologize for my asinine behavior at the press conference. I had no right to call you my daughter, and I apologize. I wish I could come up with a more appropriate word for my sorrow at being so pompous and arrogant. The words just rushed out of me."

"Did Jasper continue to tear you a new one afterward?"

"For days!" he said sincerely, but I could hear the humor in his voice. He wasn't being cocky, just laughing at the discipline he'd faced at his son-in-law's hand.

"Then can we allow that moment to be forgiven and forgotten? It doesn't fix the other things between us and why you might have felt the foundation for feeling that way, but for now it allows us to clear what has occurred between us in the present time."

"If that is where we are at this moment, then I have another apology to make. It is one that I feel led to disclose, and I will face whatever consequence you desire to inflict for my actions."

His words made me somewhat fearful to hear what he had to say.

"I inquired as to your medical condition several weeks ago and was informed that your eyes were operable. I had been planning to offer our facilities and Daniel's possible cooperation; however, I had no idea you were actually actively pursuing the thought of surgery, or I would have made the offer already. I've been hesitant to do so, because it seems everything I say lately is coming out wrong. And it is too big of an opportunity for me to ruin with my less than eloquent behavior and words."

"So you are basically admitting to breaking the law and violating my privacy under the HIPPA act, and you are waiting to see if I'm going to ruin your career with this information."

"Succinctly, yes."

Why that didn't make me more infuriated I didn't know. It should, and I knew enough about medical malpractice that I was aware he'd just handed me the means to his and his unknown helper's ruin. Although, knowing the man I'd believed Carlisle was as a teenager, he would probably go down alone in flames, refusing to give up his source. An usual thought hit me…he and Aro were more alike than I'd ever accredited.

"If I make you a consulting doctor on my surgery, are you then held even more accountable?"

"I would be," his tone was confused.

"Then consider yourself my doctor as well, because I'm not sure who I want to know about this surgery for now. As your patient, I'm asking you to keep your mouth shut until I decide."

"Edward already knows about condition of your eyes."

I would have already suspected that. I wanted to see if Carlisle was willing to put me first this time. It would be a step in the right direction for us and a test to see if he was the honorable man I'd once thought.

"But he won't know anything further, will he?"

"Not if Carlisle knows what is good for him," Felix's angry voice came to my side.

"I am not a foolish man most days, Felix. Bella, like the rest of my family, I would like time to speak with you about the past, but I am quite different from them in many ways. I think only by you seeing how I will treat you from this moment forward, will you really be able to give me the opportunity to put the past behind us. Not forgetting it, or the devastation that certain decisions that were made caused in your life, but forging ahead to what we will determine our relationship to be from here."

That was a fair declaration…actions, now words, would prove his merit.

He continued. "Thank you for Carlie. I can't even describe to you my gratefulness for the miracle you created from the chaos we left behind. I'm unworthy of your trust, but I will strive to be the man and doctor you need, if you so choose."

Sincerity. Just the right amount of humbleness without kissing ass…

"We'll see. For now, I'll take the offer of your medical expertise and the provision of your resources. We'll go from there."

"That is just. You can always report me if I step out of line."

Incredibly, I could determine he was being serious. It was a heady feeling to know that I could destroy Carlisle and a good bit of what he'd built. He was a clever man…Carlisle Cullen…he knew that only by giving me this information, would I ever feel comfortable journeying down this pathway with him.

Holding out my hand to shake his, I didn't even flinch when he placed his hand into mine. "So Doc, where do we start?"

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><p><strong>Okay, so I'm waiting for the hate mail…xoxo to my group that will send it. ;)<strong>

**Would love to know what you think, and for review replies I'm doing a Demetri outtake. I haven't been in his mind yet, so I want to explore.**

**Can I just say that my readers are the best in the world…seriously! You girls and guys rock. I didn't know just how many individuals were really reading this story until I saw the last chapter count… I fell out of my chair. Would love to hear from more of you!**


	27. Light

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**I must also acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me in keeping it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherryola. In that spirit, I would like to acknowledge a degree of literary license in the upcoming chapters. The surgery that Bella goes through is a real procedure for retinal detachment; however, it is generally performed directly after the accident that would have caused such an injury. To conceive that it would be done 15 years after is a stretch, but one I'm using for the process of this story. Although research continues into the restoration of sight for individuals who are partially or entirely blind, it is still an emerging field. I have many friends who are disabled, including a beta who is blind – because I am giving Sherryola that distinction for this story, and one who is deaf – who works with me on my vampire stories. Disabled is a word I use to delineate that my friends have limited capacity in some manner. They would describe their lives as full and rich. **

**In addition, a big thank you to NMW for reading through my new story Downward Spiral and giving me suggestions for possible tweaks for it and this chapter of Sins. She is masochistic enough to consider reading through Harvest Moon for a possible re-edit. The woman is crazy (in the best possible way). To my peeps, Suzie55, LemonMartinis, and TwiloverSue. You guys have been my total inspiration to continue doing this thing. I owe you more than I can say, and you are personally responsible for me not giving up on this fandom.**

**I know you are getting impatient for Bella/Edward talk. Chapter after next…promise. I had to get the surgery done first.**

* * *

><p><strong>Carlie POV<strong>

"Poppa, I'm dying here! Are you sure nothing has gone wrong?" I'd finally decided on the term Poppa because "Pops" just didn't sit right on my tongue.

"Carlie, she will be fine. Dr. Livingston is the best at what he does, and he'll have someone come out and tell us just as soon as the surgery is over."

He smiled softly at me, and I felt my anxiety decrease a little at his soothing way. Even Daddy had calmed down marginally when Poppa had explained the surgery. His drawing of the eye had been a bit too complicated, but I think we'd all gotten the gist of it. Thankfully, Daddy and Aunt Leah had allowed Seth to stay out of school to be with me as well. He sat beside me, rubbing his thumb over the top of my hand in a comforting manner. Daddy paced in front of the windows of the family room in agitation. Waiting for word on my mom was killing him as much as it was killing me. A cell phone rang, and I saw Poppa reach into his pocket and pull his out.

"Darling…" He paused. "No, she's still in surgery."

I'd blown the whole secrecy thing, not knowing that my mom had sworn Poppa to privacy. Unfortunately, I'd squealed like a pig about my excitement when Meme called to talk to me only to be met with dead silence on the other end. Poppa had reassured me that I hadn't gotten him into too much trouble, but I was fairly certain that he'd been read the riot act when he returned home. I'd admitted what I'd done to my mom, and she'd called Meme to soothe the ruffled feathers. After my mom's call to her, Esme was in on the secret as well, and I was just hoping that she hadn't been too hard on my grandfather.

"I'm certain that they would appreciate the thought, but I'm not sure how hungry anyone is."

My stomach took that moment to announce itself, and Poppa looked over grinning at me. "Perhaps some of your sandwiches and homemade soup would be nice."

True to form, I saw the interest in my Dad's face and Aunt Leah's rolled eyes. Even Felix seemed to sit a little straighter at the thought of something other than hospital food.

"Jacob, Leah, Felix, Seth, Carlie, and myself. I believe Aro will be stopping by," he said, obviously answering just who was in attendance before he told her he loved her and said goodbye.

Uncle Aro would be coming soon. In fact, I was surprised he wasn't already here. He was as excited as I was to see if Mama would regain any of her sight. Of course, as Poppa had explained, we wouldn't know much about that until at least tomorrow when they took off the bandaging and protective shield. For now, I just wanted to know that she'd come through the surgery fine. I'd deal with having to figure out how to keep her still enough to recover later.

A noise from the doorway caught my attention, and I was immediately on my feet seeing the surgeon there. The smile on his face made me breathe easier, so I restrained myself from screaming when he came over to the table and drew some lines against the back of the eye on one of the drawing Poppa had made.

"Dr. De Luca, Dr. Cullen…the surgery went fine, although there was more damage than I think any of us had expected." He pointed to the areas where he'd drawn. "I highly doubt that Bella will regain all of her sight. She'll most likely need corrective lenses and possibly further surgery within the year. Of course, we won't know for sure until the bandaging comes off tomorrow morning."

Felix and Poppa both nodded as if this was expected, and although I'd wanted a miracle, we'd known that to get anything out of the surgery would be a gift.

"She'll need to be forced to follow the guidelines for recovery I've given her to help the gas bubbles I introduced into her eyes do their jobs. She seems a pretty headstrong lady, and even though she's assured me she will follow the dictates precisely, is there someone that will make sure she does exactly as planned?"

"Jacob and Leah can take care of her this weekend and Sulpicia and I will keep her under control during the week," Uncle Aro murmured from the door, drawing my attention.

I jumped from the couch and dove toward him.

"Hello, Little One," he said softly, wrapping his arms around me protectively.

"They'll bring Bella down in an hour or so, as soon as we feel reasonably assured that her vitals are stable. I have several patients to check on, so I'll make my rounds and come by in a few hours to check up on her."

"Either Dr. De Luca or I will be here with her all night," Poppa informed the surgeon.

"Well then, I would say she is under better supervision than any of the other patients around here," Dr. Livingston said before nodding to us as a group and disappearing out the door.

And then the wait began again. Uncle Aro entertained us with stories of some of his famous cases, and it wasn't too long until he and Aunt Leah were in a rousing debate about capital punishment. Daddy watched Aunt Leah with pride as she faced off against my self-prescribed adoptive grandfather. From where I sat protected under Seth's arm, I giggled at their ferocity. Uncle Aro and Aunt Leah were like two mortal enemies attempting to tear each other's throats out. Seth listened intently, absorbing the theatrics of them both. As a regular witness to these debates, he would probably know more about the subject of litigation than most professors by the time he got to law school.

Meme entered with arms full of bags about the time that Aro began to adamantly debate the efficacy of work release programs. She stopped his tirade flat when she snickered out, "Yeah, we wouldn't want any criminal to get out and become another attorney."

Uncle Aro narrowed his eyes at her and then grinned. "Esme Cullen, why have you never gone into law?"

Setting the bags down on the table in the corner, she reached out and unloaded the arms of the orderly that had helped her before rewarding the man with a sunny smile and a "Thank you." The man blushed profusely before leaving the room. She then turned on Aro and quipped, "I'll manage the skirmishes at home and leave the big bad guys to you."

Any further response or possibility of eating was forgotten when the sound of a bed being brought into the room beside us announced that they'd brought my mom in. Immediately jumping into action, Felix and Poppa moved quickly to her side, checking the vitals being monitored by the machine attached to her.

From Poppa's description, I'd known what to expect, but I still couldn't get over the "alien" look. Like some Star Trek visor, she had a metal shield over her eyes to protect them. I also knew that it would be critical for her not to tear this away when she began to wake up. Only in the morning would the doctor take it away to see if this had all been worth it.

"Blood pressure and pulse rate are good," Felix told Carlisle.

"And he didn't have to use the buckle," Poppa replied back to him, looking through the notes that Dr. Livingston must have quickly jotted down.

"Very good," they said almost in unison.

My stomach chose that moment to growl out in rebellion, the delicious smells of Esme's cooking having sparked the reaction. I was humiliated that my body would betray me at a time like this.

"Pip Squeak, your mom isn't going to wake up for a little while. You might as well eat, so you can be sitting beside her and holding her hand when she does."

"C'mon Carlie, Dad's right. Let's eat while they check Aunt Bella out, and then we can go sit with her while they eat," Seth proposed, pulling me toward the table.

It was only when I moved the chair so that I could see them through the doorway that I scarfed down a sandwich and two bowls of potato soup, Seth following my example. Within a few minutes, I had a full stomach and was sitting beside my unconscious mother…clasping her hand in mine.

~SOMP~

"Edward?" she mumbled softly…but not soft enough.

My father's name carried throughout the room, and I saw both Poppa and Meme look down at their clasped hands in reaction. Everyone had moved into the room after eating, waiting for my mother to wake up. I could remember many nights hearing her scream out my father's name, but it meant something a little different now, in comparison to when I'd thought she was reliving the memories of a boy who'd died at war. What were her nightmares I wondered?

"Wait!" she pleaded, and then Meme and Poppa weren't the only ones to exchange uneasy looks. Daddy and Aunt Leah traded a quick glance as well. Well, my father wasn't here to answer her, so I decided to just celebrate the fact she was waking up and stood to whisper into her ear.

"Mama, its me."

~SOMP~

**Bella POV**

Green eyed phantoms danced just outside my fingertips, eluding my attempts catch them. One giggled at me as I tried to snatch her. She was an imp instead, I decided, as she flitted to and fro. But my frustration grew as I battled against the darkness that pressed all around me, threatening to steal away the visions in front of me. I ran from the oppressive nothingness, unwilling to let it overtake me as I moved through the lush forest around me in pursuit of her.

It seemed that I was winning against the blanket that wanted to cover me and shroud me away from the world, inch by inch I was building a lead. Dodging a particularly large tree, I encountered a break in the forest and saw a man standing there, laughing in exultation at me.

A man I'd once known as a boy… "Edward!" I called out, but he turned with a playful look and vanished into the greenery on the other side of the small sunny spot. Running after him, I dove back into the forest, but the thick limbs and leaves blocked out the sun. I shivered at the encroaching darkness and ran toward where I'd seen him vanish.

"Wait!" I begged.

And then I slammed into someone. Glancing up, I saw a masked individual looking down at me. The mask covered part of his face, but his green eyes glittered wildly. Just at the edge of the half mask, the end of a large gash peeked out, explaining the reason he would feel the necessity to hide. My fingers went to trace it.

"Monster!" he cried out, first turning away and then breaking from me with a sob.

No! I had to see. Grabbing the cloak that had billowed out behind the phantom, I pulled him to me. But instead of the man, I uncovered a beautiful girl.

"Mama, its me!"

Carlie!

The darkness hit me in the back like a freight train, but I refused to let it drag me under again. My hands curled into claws, and I began fighting against the force that wanted to bury me.

"Bella!" Jake called me. His voice was emphatic, ordering me to do something.

The pain hit me first, the searing agony around my eyes, and I reached up to rub them. Something caught my wrists restraining me, and I started to cry out in anger. Until the words that were being spoken cleared the fog, as I spun in confusion like a top thrown by a child.

"Bella, breathe deeply for me. You are coming out from under the effects of the anesthesia. You're okay. Jacob and Carlie are here. We're only holding your hands so that you don't tear at the bandages around your eyes."

Bandages… Eyes… Carlisle's voice…

The world righted, and I remembered. I'd had the surgery, and for better or worse, it was done.

My voice sounded gravelly when I attempted to speak, and a glass was held to my lips.

"Mama, Felix said you'd probably be thirsty. But just a little okay?" Carlie said softly as she poured the cool liquid down my parched throat.

Reaching for her, I sighed when her fingers linked with mine. She gave me another sip before I asked, "Felix?"

"He's gone, Mama. He will be coming in around midnight to stay with you so that Poppa can go home and get some sleep."

"Carl…" His name ended in a croak.

"Right here, Bella." His voice came from my right, and I turned toward him. "Daniel was able to reattach the retina in both of your eyes. The scarring was a little more significant than we'd thought, but he seems confident that at least you'll regain partial vision."

This was good news. Unlike the others, it was really all I'd been hoping for. To think I would be miraculously restored to my pre-accident state was unrealistic. To get anything back was nothing short of a miracle to me.

Coughing a little to clear my throat, I asked, "Tomorrow?"

"Yes, we'll remove the bandages tomorrow. I've arranged to have an ophthalmologist here. We can assess your vision to see where we are, and I have individuals on call so that a pair of glasses can be manufactured within the hour."

"If we have anything to assess," I corrected him, reminding him of the caution we should adopt.

"No…Bella…when we see what we need. This worked! Call it my doctor's intuition…" He was excited, the certainty of his clinical judgment clear in his voice.

I wasn't going to argue with him and tried desperately to remain neutral in the face of his enthusiasm.

"Bella, I have some pain killers for you. Please don't attempt to suffer through it. You need your rest to recover." I started to refuse, but then he turned all bossy on me. "Bella! You took me on as your doctor. You can ignore my wisdom about other things, but for now, I am telling you that you need to rest."

"Isabella…" Aro warned, ganging up on me with Carlisle.

"Ok," I acquiesced. My eyes were killing me.

While Carlie and Seth held my hands, Jacob and Leah entertained me with stories about Aro's arrogance. He huffed every so often in the background, but just the sound of his usual response to discussions he felt below him was comforting. The ease of the next hour was intriguing considering I knew that Esme was there as well. Finally, hearing my stomach growl, which caused Jacob to snicker "like mother like daughter," Carlie shared about Esme's soup and sandwiches. It would have been easy to remain stoic against her, but honestly, my stomach worked against me…I would have about killed for something to eat.

"Carlisle, may she have some?" she asked softly.

"Perhaps the soup," he said in a reserved manner. "But just a little at a time. Bella, you could still get sick. Go slow."

When I heard the sound of dishes, I knew that she was putting something together, but I groaned in ecstasy when I tasted the soup Leah spooned into my mouth. I felt like an invalid being fed, but Carlie refused to let go of my hand.

"The soup is wonderful, Esme. Thank you."

"You're welcome," she responded softly. "I can send something different with Carlisle tomorrow. As much as he's done to make the food better here…nothing beats a homemade meal."

Her ability to take what I was offering without pushing was comforting. I wondered though if the medication was also taking the edge off. Things seemed to slow down around me, and I could have sworn I felt the brush of my scarred phantom's fingertips across my cheeks. I heard Aro saying something about the morrow, but then there was nothing…

~SOMP~

"Morning, Bella. It is good to see you finally join the land of the living," Jake's voice made me smile.

"Are you the only knight standing guard over me?"

"Yes, I have the dubious honor of protecting you from the bloodthirsty savages that stalk these halls. But that is only because Carlisle and Felix went to make sure that their minions are arranged for the great unveiling. Nervous?"

"A little, but honestly, what do I have to lose? You've beaten me into submission."

He snorted. "Ha! I'd love to meet the man who could do that… Here, let me help you turn."

Daniel and Carlisle had drummed it into my head how over the next few weeks, I had to actually put my head between my knees for long periods of time in order to keep the pressure right. But I couldn't do that until the contraption around my eyes was gone. For now, the best I could do was stay off my back, having to curl onto my sides.

"Jake…"

"Yes?"

"I'm scared."

The bed beside me shifted and then he pulled me up and into his side. "Me too. But you know what? If it doesn't work, well we'll still have all the wonderful things we have right now. This is simply a chance Bella, and I'm just really proud of you for taking it."

"Me too," Leah's voice came from the doorway, and then I was surrounded by my family.

It was comforting…Jake's strength and steadfastness, Leah's unconditional and often inconceivable acceptance and love of me, Seth's soft humor, and Carlie's…well…Carlie just being Carlie.

Aro's appearance just moments later only added to the feeling of peace.

Carlisle and Felix returned within the half hour…and then Dr. Livingston joined us. Carlie's squeal at seeing him would have caused dogs to howl. Having crawled into the bed with me, she had my hand in a death grip.

"Well then, Ms. Swan, let's see what we are working with." Dr. Livingston was nothing if not expedient.

He unwound the bandaging, removed the shield, and it was then that I got excited. Prisms of pale light flashed behind my eyelids.

"Very well, any differences so far?"

"Yes! I see light, but this is continual, not in flashes."

I could sense the excitement of the individuals in the room. Carlie practically hummed with energy beside me as Jake stirred to my side.

"That is a good sign, Bella." Carlisle's voice was calm…his doctor's intuition. Perhaps I should have listened more to him about it.

"I'm going to turn the lights down a little so that when you open your eyes it won't be such a shock to your system."

"Got it," Felix said from across the room.

Seeing the light filtering through my eyelids tone down, a feeling of surrealness settled over me.

"Okay, Bella. If we've done our job correctly, you will most likely feel some pain as the photoreceptors react for the first time in a while. The experience will be similar to what you remember from stepping out into bright sunlight from a darker room. Feel free to open your eyes whenever you feel comfortable."

Such an easy and enticing suggestion and yet I hesitated. It had all seemed to happen so quickly. Shouldn't there be a bigger production, perhaps more delays…? I wasn't ready, I realized…beginning to panic with the what ifs. Only when Carlie squeezed my hand in support did I turn toward her, draw a deep breath, and do as Dr. Livingston had suggested.

Light exploded through my head, so different from the darkness that had been my companion for so long, and as Dr. Livingston had predicted, the pain ricocheted from my eyes to the back of my head making me want to close them.

But what appeared before me made that self-protective gesture impossible.

Dark brown wavy hair, a heart shaped face, freckles across her nose…and her father's unforgettable green eyes. The image was fuzzy, like looking through an old mirror where the silver had begun to fade. I couldn't see her perfectly, some of the lines blurred, but time froze as I gazed upon the slightly skewed image…was I imagining it? Was it a mirage created by the hope and longing I'd held in for so long. It was me looking back…as I'd been as a teenager before the world went dim.

She couldn't be real…

My hands moved hesitantly forward, cupping the gentle face that was now smiling brightly. I stared in amazement as my thumb ran across her jawline. I knew this face…I'd held it, caressed it a million times from baby softness to the slim youthful splendor before me.

My miracle.

"Carlie!" I sobbed. "You're beautiful!"

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><p><strong>Okay, I was going to leave it where Bella opened her eyes, but TwiLoverSue convinced me to at least give you a little hint as to whether or not it had worked. You can thank her. ;)<strong>

**Would love to know what you think… I was told recently that I should consider my story a dismal failure because of the review rate…I informed the person that I considered it a success because I enjoyed the ones I receive. My readers are the best in the world…seriously! You girls and guys rock and anyone that doesn't think so, can go…**

**Reviewers will get Seth's thoughts.**


	28. Family

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**I must also acknowledge someone who has immensely helped me in keeping it real regarding Bella's disability – Sherryola. In that spirit, I would like to acknowledge a degree of literary license in the upcoming chapters. The surgery that Bella goes through is a real procedure for retinal detachment; however, it is generally performed directly after the accident that would have caused such an injury. To conceive that it would be done 15 years after is a stretch, but one I'm using for the process of this story. Although research continues into the restoration of sight for individuals who are partially or entirely blind, it is still an emerging field. I have many friends who are disabled, including a beta who is blind – because I am giving Sherryola that distinction for this story, and one who is deaf – who works with me on my vampire stories. Disabled is a word I use to delineate that my friends have limited capacity in some manner. They would describe their lives as full and rich. **

**To TwiloverSue. Thank you for continuing to encourage me!**

**I know you are getting impatient for Bella/Edward. Next chapter…promise.**

**Just a quickie…**

**Two of my stories have been nominated over at the Shimmer Awards – Best Quickie Award (best one-shot) Modus Operandi, my entry into the New Moon round at The Canon Tour (it is my version of James' story), and Forever, an entry for the Fandom Fights the Floods (it is an all human story with a theme that is near and dear to my heart). Unfortunately, they are up against each other and another author I consider a friend…Sigh. Please go over and read the stories up for vote on the Shimmers – there are some great ones. **

http:/shimmerawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/

**For those of you who haven't received Seth yet…I'm working on sending it. I'm behind, but working through the reviews!**

* * *

><p>Bella POV<p>

_Dark brown wavy hair, a heart shaped face, freckles across her nose…and her father's unforgettable green eyes. The image was fuzzy, like looking through an old mirror where the silver had begun to fade. I couldn't see her perfectly, some of the lines blurred, but time froze as I gazed upon the slightly skewed image…was I imagining it? Was it a mirage created by the hope and longing I'd held in for so long? It was me looking back…as I'd been as a teenager before the world went dim. _

_She couldn't be real…_

_My hands moved hesitantly forward, cupping the gentle face that was now smiling brightly. I stared in amazement as my thumb ran across her jawline. I knew this face…I'd held it, caressed it a million times from baby softness to the slim youthful splendor before me._

_My miracle._

"_Carlie!" I sobbed. "You're beautiful!" _

"Mama!" she squealed before we reached for each other, sobbing hysterically as we hugged.

After a quick embrace, I pulled back to see her again. Up close, I could see more, but the "fuzz" was unfortunately made worse by the tears pouring down my face. I barked out a laugh when I realized we were both patting at each other's cheek, like reflections in the mirror, our "I love yous" bouncing off one another. The moment couldn't be better, my hopes and dreams falling into place.

My baby… Well, she wasn't a baby any longer, but I couldn't help but seeing her that way. Seeing her… HA! How funny that I would think in those terms. She was everything that I'd been told…her green eyes mesmerizing.

"Bella, how far can you see?" Dr. Livingston's voice came from my side, and finally, I tore my gaze away from Carlie and turned toward him. He was farther away and I could see him, but he was definitely foggier. Tall, slim, dark headed…it was as far as I could get.

"Carlie is fairly focused, but muted, I guess you could say. You're not as clear."

A choked sob caught my attention, and I realized it was Jake. Oh My God!

"JAKE!"

"Right here," he said gently, and I scrambled across the sheets to get to him.

His hand was my salvation, and I pulled the large looming body toward me until he came into focus. Oh… Oh…

My hands looked deathly white against the tan of his cheeks. But I couldn't help it, needing to actually touch his beloved face. Leah had been right…he was still the boy I loved, just more…handsome. The few faint silver hairs…I could even see them. My eyes hungrily moved over him, drinking him in like the sunshine I'd been missing as my fingers roamed over his features. His eyes twinkled at me, and I couldn't help my tongue.

"When did you get so ugly?"

Leah's bark of laughter overwhelmed his protest, and I grabbed at her…not letting Jake go, but pulling her in as well so that she was beside him. My eyes flickered across her. Damn…she'd matured into an absolutely exquisite woman! Good for her…I bet Jake had to beat the men off with a stick. Somehow that thought pleased me. She placed her other hand over mine, squeezing gently in support. How often had she done this for me?

Jerking back to Carlie, who was just beside them, I startled realizing who was missing and squeaked out, "Seth!"

"Right here, Aunt Bella."

I heard him moving toward the bed and had to turn to the other side to take in Jake and Leah's firstborn. Like Carlie, I'd felt his face a million times from baby fat to teenager slimness, but I hadn't had as good a reference to go from. Carlie was me…just with her father's eyes. I'd tried hard to imagine Seth from Leah's descriptions, but it had been difficult. When he came into view, I couldn't help the smile that broke across my face.

"Thank God you look like your mother," I told him, seeing the tears pouring out of his eyes. It was a lie…he was almost Jake made over, and he wasn't too "big" to snatch me into a hug, almost crushing me with his youthful enthusiasm…just like his father had when we were kids.

I couldn't wait to see Samantha, but I'd understood when Jake and Leah thought it would be too much for her at the hospital. Mrs. Slagle was keeping our little spitfire. God I wanted to get a hold of her as well, determined that would be the first stop on the way home.

"Well, I would say, Dr. De Luca and Dr. Cullen, that we have success," Dr. Livingston said over the squealing and sobbing.

"Let me get the ophthalmologist in here and we'll get your eyes tested, Bella. I'm fairly certain that the fuzziness can be helped with glasses, and hopefully we'll be able to get you more distance."

Wait…Carlisle. But he was gone before I could call him back. I'd seen the figure in the distance moving, and I should have realized it was him…tall and blond. I'd wanted to see him, and here he was acting like a doctor.

Doctor! "Felix?"

"It is about time you asked for me, I was beginning to feel like the lost child."

His voice was coming toward me, and I saw a large entity approaching close. Slowly, his body took form and my mouth dropped open. Holy shit! Could I take back the whole "I want you to check out Jane" thing? The man was built like a god. When he sat down on the bed at my knees and his face came into better view, I really questioned my self-sacrificing behavior. Inky black hair framed an exquisite face and twinkling black eyes. He arched a brow at me, almost as if he was asking if I wanted to put my hands on him as well. I did…and it was such a freaking shame I'd given up the right. Damnit!

He knew exactly what I was thinking as well, but ever the gentleman, he simply winked at me. "I'm much more handsome than Jacob, and you'll see that when we get those glasses on you!" he teased.

"Your ego is as big as his as well," I threw back, disgruntled.

"Yup, but with justifiable reason," Felix teased again, but then turned to look back.

A tall figure stood apart from us, and I realized just who it must be. I squeezed Jacob and Leah's hands before releasing them and held them out to the man that had given me so much guidance.

"Aro, are you being uncharacteristically shy for a reason?"

"No, Isabella, I'm just allowing your court to pay homage before I'm given the privilege." He sniffed with mock disdain as if having to share me was unacceptable. What a farce, he was actually waiting for me to pay him appropriate tribute…he didn't want to share the spotlight.

He'd moved toward me as he spoke, and Felix vacated the space he'd taken so that Aro could sit. If I'd been astonished at Felix's looks, Aro's made me gasp. Long black hair hung down from a widow's peak, and his smooth slightly tanned skin belied his age, almost as if he'd found the Fountain of Youth. But, his dark eyes were ancient with wisdom. He was a mixture of beauty, power, and faint wisps of danger.

"Dear God…" I crossed myself "…you look like…the Devil."

Spontaneous laughter erupted throughout the room as he attempted to control the smirk that blossomed on his face. "Well, you know…the bible indicated that Lucifer was the most beautiful angel of them all," he said quickly before he lost the battle and smiled broadly at me. The look transformed his face.

He was the Devil indeed; no wonder Sulpicia was so taken with the man. He looked twenty years his junior and had a wealth of untold, secret delights hidden within his eyes. Every quip, every teasing moment, every sanctimonious word or action from our past came into light as I watched him. I could easily see how the man was feared, and I wanted to laugh that I stood against him on so many occasions. Well if he was the Devil…then I guess that made me the Devil's daughter! I whooped in delight as he pulled me in for an affectionate hug.

"Cia is on the way. She was angry she was delayed, but honestly she wants you to herself, so she is waiting for the crowd to disperse," he whispered to me as those around us continued to snicker at my assessment of him.

"Why didn't you tell me that I was consorting with the Devil?" I teased softly, which still carried through the room.

"He didn't want to lose his hold over you," Carlisle's voice came from where the door had opened. I could hear the sound of a machine being wheeled toward me, and then he began to take form. "He adores the whole public persona of him being a dark lord," Carlisle continued as he came to a stop beside the bed.

Aro "humphed" at him, but it didn't seem to impress Carlisle. His back was to me as he'd help manage the cart, and he moved quickly away unknowingly avoiding my grasp.

"Okay, Bella. Dr. Allen is here, and he is going to get your eyesight assessed."

"Ms. Swan, if you'll move to the edge of the bed, I can line up the sights."

And with that the blur went to flashes of better, the flip of the switches honing in on what looked clearer to me. I was anxious to actually see my family with clarity, watching as the letters and numbers took shape, I realized how much I was probably missing. Hearing the man murmuring to Carlisle, I knew that there was more I'd be told, but I couldn't help but laugh when they asked Carlie's advice on which pair of frames I would like.

"You should be able to utilize contacts; I'll give you the prescription and you can try them out within a day or so. Each person is different in what feels the most comfortable, and with the surgery you may want to use the glasses for a while. Either is fine medically, so as I said, comfort should be your guiding factor. I won't be but a few minutes, and I'll be back with two set of glasses for you to try out."

And with that, he was gone. It was disconcerting really, just how fast all of it was happening. It felt like I was on a rollercoaster, zipping to various different spots along the way only to come to a screeching halt for the next check. It was to only be a few minutes…

I could hear the sound of Carlisle returning, and before he could flit somewhere else, I called his name.

Hearing him chuckle just before he came to stand beside me, I was glad that I'd prepared myself as it was all I could do to control the shock as his once familiar face came into focus. God…he hadn't changed a bit. I tried to control the sigh, but when Leah secretly poked me in the back with her finger, I wondered if it hadn't come out anyway. I attempted not to drool over him as he began to talk.

"Bella, it would seem that the surgery has restored your near vision, but for now, we…" I noticed how he used that word, including himself in my journey "…don't have distance. It could be that future surgery may repair this, but…"

"It's okay," I cut him off. "So, I won't be able to drive Jake's Jeep, or I'll run something over…got it." It was meant to be funny.

He smirked and shook his head softly, and pain lanced through me at the mannerism…so similar to…

"Not for now," he insisted, exhibiting the same enthusiasm he'd had when he'd declared the surgery was going to work. "You might still feel more comfortable utilizing your cane when you go out, but I guess it will depend on how well the glasses work for you. We'll have our answer in just a few minutes if Dr. Allen is good for his word…which he generally is. Assuming that everything is fine and Dr. De Luca concurs…you can go home."

HOME! Where a myriad of pictures and videos awaited me. Oh, I knew I couldn't overdue it…having to rest my eyes as Felix and Carlisle had warned…but what an enticement.

"Can I take a shower?" I asked, suddenly aware that I must look a wreck.

Looking to where I saw Felix standing, Carlisle must have received an affirmative nod because he smiled down at me brilliantly, his bright blue eyes twinkling, causing me to freeze again. Damn… Damn… Damn… I'd thought I was ready, but his inherent god-like looks were messing with me. "Certainly." Was his only answer.

"Out!" my daughter demanded of all the men, leaving me with her and Leah. It was funny to see just how fast they listened. "C'mon Mama. Let's get you into the shower and in your own clothes."

Ironically, as I made my way unassisted to the shower, I realized that I'd left her to make the choice of clothes…as usual.

~SOMP~

Whether or not it was an act of Providence or just my habit of taking extremely hot showers, but I found myself standing in trepidation before the mirror with a towel in my hands. One swipe and I would see my face after fifteen years. Oh, I knew what Leah had told me, but I needed to see it for myself. It was a momentous occasion; one I was doing alone. My daughter and best friend waited outside the closed door, but I'd wanted a moment just to myself. What was it that Emmett had always teased me about… "Grow some balls, Bella." Grow some balls indeed. First, I would face the image in front of me, and then I would decide what to do about the Cullens.

I wanted to see Emmett and meet his Rosalie. I wanted it to happen now, but I was thinking that I would feel more on my own terms if I did so at the house. Feeling peaceful about the decision, I determined to have Aro get me some pizza from that place of his, and some spaghetti…I smirked remembering what Rose had said about marinara sauce. I knew that Em would love the "works", and their spaghetti was almost as good as mine.

_C'mon Bella…grown some balls, _my conscience seemed to say._ You've delayed long enough. _

Ok! Quit being a snarky bitch.

So with one fell swoop, my face came into blurry focus in front of me.

Still somewhat bloodshot brown eyes stared back in curiosity, and a numb feeling rushed over me. It was shocking to see yourself after so long. Gone was the haggard look I'd had that last morning and the pregnancy fat. Also missing was the haunted look I'd carried around, like the shell-shocked victim of a bloody battle. Instead, I had a slightly fuller face, but the rounding was a pleasant surprise, having succeeded in smoothing out some of the angular planes. I moved in closer to see if I could see wrinkles, but wasn't successful, knowing that I would certainly find them once I had the glasses. It felt odd, but I couldn't help but look down at my naked self, taking in the softer curves. It was ironic, but the one thing I did want to see and couldn't was the stretch marks. I knew they were there because Leah had been honest about them, but I would need the glasses to see the slight variations on my white skin. They were my badges of honor, so to speak, the testament to the most precious thing in my life.

"Mama," she called out from outside the door. "Are you okay?"

Obviously I was taking too long. "Yeah…just getting dressed," I informed her, tearing my eyes away from the image in the mirror to pull on the underwear, jeans, and long-sleeved t-shirt she'd brought.

Sitting down on the toilet lid, I pulled on the socks and closed my eyes to make the tying of my tennis shoes easier. There were a lot of things I was going to have to adjust to using sight for. Grabbing the brush, I raked it through my wet hair one more time before opening the door. Carlie immediately came in with the hair dryer and placed it on the counter. The shock I felt seeing us both mirrored in the glass must have been evident.

"It will be even more unnerving when you see us clearly," she said with a big grin. She was quite pleased with the fact we looked so much alike. Just a few inches shorter than me, I was guessing that she would top me by several inches when she stopped growing, having gotten E…her father's height. "Hurry! They are all dying for you to join them in the family suite next door, and Poppa said that your glasses should be here any minute. If he says you are okay…you're free to go home!"

I didn't have to have 20/20 to see her practically vibrating in excitement. "'kay!"

She moved out, leaving me alone to finish my hair, and because it was more familiar and I wanted to rest my eyes, I closed them to complete the process.

~SOMP~

"Ms. Swan, I'm going to put the lighter weight pair on you first, and I can make the adjustments quickly." Carlisle had taken no time in giving me a "once over" and stating that I was medically cleared, so this was the last test.

The world came into instant, perfect clarity when he perched the frames on my nose. Refusing to give into the desire to look at my family again, I waited. It would kill me to get a glance at them, only to have it taken away. Dr. Allen's face kept going in and out of focus as he took the glasses off and then repositioned them on my head for tweaking. The second pair took less time, and I breathed a sigh of relief when he finally gave me the first one back for good.

"We're done!" he said with a smile, knowing that I was dying to turn and look.

The room came into brilliant detail when I turned, the glasses giving me enough sight to clearly see everything within the area and through the door to the bed I'd lain upon. Face after face of my loved ones overwhelmed me, and it was all I could do to keep from crying out in joy. As it was, I put my hands to my mouth to stifle the sob that refused to be contained.

Jake stood with his arms circling Leah…her face cradled to his chest. Carlie stood beside Seth, almost leaning into him…big smiles plastered across their faces. A smirking Felix leaned against the wall…a literal giant that had no business being a surgeon or as luscious as he was. Aro sitting regally in a chair as if it was a throne, and we were all coming to him for some favor. And…Carlisle, face of an angel Carlisle, with concern stamped across his features as he came forward to check on me.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked softly.

"Yes, so much more than okay!" I grinned, grabbing his hand in joy before I even considered what I'd done. I felt him startle at my touch and realized how odd it was that I would touch him, but I just didn't care.

Lurching to my feet, I almost fell, the gift of sight throwing me off.

"Damnit!" I screeched out. "NO fair! I can't still be vertically challenged now." I actually stomped my right foot in agitation.

I still hadn't let go of Carlisle, and it was only by his quick intervention that I didn't fall. He chuckled, suspiciously dashing his free hand across his eyes, before finally releasing my hand when I righted myself. I noticed that he'd squeezed my hand slightly before he broke contact.

Distracting me to what had happened, a sob announced my next visitor, and I turned from Carlisle to see a meticulously dressed blond in the doorway. Her hair was pulled back in an elegant twist, subtle diamonds twinkled at her ears, and the suit was obviously quality. I had my guesses as to who she was, and looking back to find Aro gazing on her adoringly, I knew.

"Cia!" I shouted, dancing to her a little unsteadily to be captured into her arms in a huge hug.

The reunion started again as comments were thrown around the room, and Jacob and Felix traded good-natured insults as the noise increased. Cia held my hand as I basked in the joy of seeing how they interacted and the fine nuances of their faces as they spoke. It was a brave new world, and I was tremendously distracted…sensory overload, I'm sure they'd call it. But distractions…they were good things.

Within a few moments, a nurse came in pushing a wheelchair, interrupting us. She carried several pieces of paper in her hands.

"Ms. Swan, your doctor has released you. Are you ready?"

Turning to find Carlisle, I was anxious to see if it was true.

He was gone.

Seeing my look, Felix moved toward me, distracting me again. "I get the joy of reviewing this and signing you out of jail, Isabella," he said before reading me the riot act again regarding my after care and giving me instructions for what to do before coming in the next week to see him for a follow-up.

Jacob and Aro listened intently, and I knew that I would be hard pressed to find two more intent taskmasters. Finally, when Felix was done lecturing me, I asked him, "Where did Carlisle go?"

"I'm not sure, Isabella. We'd already decided I'd review the follow-up, so perhaps he had other things to attend to…" he left off, clearly not as puzzled or concerned as I was about the other doctor's absence.

Why would Carlisle leave? I wondered. We'd gotten such good news, my family and me. It was time to celebrate together.

Family…

Oh…

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><p>Would love to know what you think! Things will start to move quickly now, so I would like to hear from you before you hate me! ;)<p>

I have to admit to not being able to do an outtake this week. I have a big project at work, so I'm not going to be able to get it written, figuring you'd rather me focus on the Bella/Edward conversation I'm working on right now….


	29. Hole in the Heart

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola and Twiloversue for pre-reading and betaing this. Further thanks go out to Mahitabelle for all the info on post-op Vitrectomy patients! Dee for pre-reading for me and assuring me that it was all okay (snicker)! Cejsmom for giving me a myriad of images involving Edward and some water (double snicker)! Monique for also giving me some hints as to where to be a little more explicit…sigh.**

**I apologize for posting this a day early, but I have had a death in the family, and it is more than likely that I'll be away tomorrow. Hope you enjoy!**

**Just a quickie…**

**Two of my stories have been nominated over at the Shimmer Awards – Best Quickie Award (best one-shot) Modus Operandi, my entry into the New Moon round at The Canon Tour (it is my version of James' story), and Forever, an entry for the Fandom Fights the Floods (it is an all human story with a theme that is near and dear to my heart). Unfortunately, they are up against each other and another author I consider a friend…Sigh. Please go over and read the stories up for vote on the Shimmers – there are some great ones. **

http:/shimmerawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

The word tired didn't even begin to describe how I felt as the hot water poured over me. It was my fault for taking on so many hours at the hospital, but work was my salvation right now. It had been just a few days since I'd returned home to find my brother waiting for me;, since he'd scanned my face carefully before breathing out a sigh of relief. That Bella had been with Demetri for the weekend was excruciatingly painful and at the same time just rewards, I would say, for what she must have felt hearing about me from the papers. But honestly, I didn't even know if hearing about me affected her or not.

I was beginning to acknowledge the possibility that Bella didn't love me anymore, would never be able to love me again. It was tearing me apart from the inside, but I had to at least face what seemed so apparent. I wouldn't know for sure until and if she allowed me time to speak with her.

So, I'd focused myself on work, exercising, and meditating. It was the concoction that had gotten me through so far, and since I refused to follow the semi-numbing pathway of liaisons again, I was putting my entire focus into the process. I needed to schedule the next appointment with Elizabeth. In the year since I'd begun to see her, I've never missed a week…this being the first. Her secretary's voice on my answering service had been a subtle hint that she wasn't going to allow me to step away, when we'd just gotten to the "good stuff" as she'd teased.

When I stretched underneath the spray of hot water, my bones cracked, reminding me that I needed some rest, and it would seem that I would have plenty of time. It was to be another quiet weekend, Carlie having canceled on me again, this time not for a giggling bunch of teenagers, but for something she and Bella had planned. I would have to wait until next weekend to see her at the Piano Festival and Competition. Carlie was nervous, and the entire family intended to be there in support of her. I wondered if Demetri would be in attendance with Bella.

Bella…

My heart lurched, and I had to actually put my hand to the wall to steady myself. It was painful, the tightening of the muscle that forced me to live. It hadn't always been so convinced of securing our longevity, and it was that which worried Emmett the most…the reason he'd wanted to lay eyes on me the night I returned from New York.

"Bubba, you have to be careful! I don't care what the specialist told you; I'm just not convinced that your heart ever recovered."

Em calling me Bubba always did me in. It'd been his nickname for me when I followed him around, just a gap-toothed boy tagging along with his older brother…who he worshipped.

"Emmett, I see a heart specialist every year, eat fish and chicken to the point I'm surprised I don't cluck or have gills, and work out almost every day. I can't tell you the last time I had something to drink. The doctor says that I'm as healthy as a horse."

He wasn't convinced, and I allowed him his worry. Emmett had the right to his concerns, having been the one to find me all but dead, the cocaine induced heart attack seeping the life out of me. Neither of us had ever been able to understand his pervasive need to find me, but if he hadn't, I wouldn't be here at this moment. I was certain that there were some that would say that it wouldn't have bothered them in the least. But it did Emmett, because he loved me, and it had been his breath and quick CPR skills that had given me back life. I'd woken to find my parents crying, Emmett a lifeless statue as he watched over me, and Alice looking as traumatized as the day I'd found her on the floor. And although most addicts were so trapped in the cycle that their families were of no concern, God had granted me, in that moment, the grace to realize what I was doing to them and me. It was my bottom, and I'd been clean from that day. It didn't mean I wasn't still a fuck up, because I was…but at least I was a clean fuck up.

A clean fuck up with a damaged heart…in more ways than one.

I'd been given so much in life…a family who cared, who kept everything as quiet as possible allowing me to have a future, a brain that at least somehow continued working so that I kept good enough grades to get in to medical school while I was at the same time attempting to destroy myself. Carlie…

I would find a way to go on if Bella refused me. I would stay in the background of her life while I built my relationship with Carlie, and I would make sure that nothing ever hurt them or that they never wanted for anything. Their happiness meant far more than my own. The hope that possibly everything hadn't been destroyed and that I would have a chance burned in me, but just beside it another fire had begun to flare…the one of defeat.

_You're getting too morose Edward. Go to bed and quit being so melodramatic. _The good angel was back.

I snickered at the voice inside me. At least it was better than the auditory hallucinations I'd had when I was doing coke. I'd almost gone crazy when I'd believed I was hearing other people's thoughts.

Shutting off the water, I toweled off before moving to my room to throw on some pajama pants. It would help me sleep better if I meditated first, but I'd no more than gotten into position before the phone rang. It was the ring tone for the desk below, or I would have ignored it.

"Mr. Cullen, Ms. Swan is on her way up," the new security guy indicated.

I wondered why Carlie had even bothered with him, she had a pass key, but then I realized it didn't really matter. Energy strummed through me at the unexpected pleasure of seeing her, even though I knew she would most likely request me to bare my soul…and I dreaded it. I would at least beg her for a few hours sleep so that I could tackle the unpleasant task with some degree of clear headedness.

"Thank you," I informed him, before going in search of a t-shirt.

Racing into the living room, I snatched up the scrubs I'd thrown to the floor and scurried to throw them in the laundry, taking one more look around the house. I was fairly anal about cleaning, so it stayed orderly, but I wasn't beyond being a mini slob when I came home from an evening shift.

The sound of the doorbell captured my attention, and I shook my head at why Carlie didn't just use the key. She must have left it at home, which would explain why she'd stopped by the desk. Grinning at her uncharacteristic forgetfulness, I dashed to the door with enthusiasm, dying to see her.

Pulling the door open with flourish and a grin on my face, my world stopped. Her name was a strangled, adoring whisper. "Bella!"

**Bella POV**

We'd returned home Friday afternoon, for Jake and Leah to basically dog my every footstep the rest of the day and the next. I was exhausted, having been warned by Carlisle that I could remain that way for weeks. The eye shields I had to wear to bed were uncomfortable making sleep near impossible, but they were necessary until the stitches dissolved. The easiest part was the eye drops and cleaning; the worst, being told I couldn't read and had to limit the time I stared at the treasures around me.

"Okay Bella, enough looking at pictures, you need to rest and put your head between your knees like the Docs said. Okay Bella, enough looking at the home movies…they'll still be there, you have to make sure your eyes are given time to heal. Okay Bella, blah, blah, blah…."

I'd been ready to strangle them before the first day was done. I'd rested, just like I'd been told, I'd put in the cleaning solution just as Felix had shown me, I'd remained with my head between my knees until my back ached, but they just couldn't understand how miraculous it had been to actually see the events I'd lived in darkness. The last day and a half had been a wash of pleasure after pleasure, as I gazed upon the pictures of Carlie, Seth, and Samantha's growing faces. Birthday parties we'd thrown together, Carlie's first piano recital, Seth's first midget league football game…a glowing, younger Jacob by his side. Treasure hunters could search out all the buried gold and jewels they wanted…this was my fortune…year after year of love and happiness.

I'd forced them to go and get us dinner and used the quiet to investigate my house, looking at the displayed pictures again, the things Leah had help choose to make the space inviting, and my room and bookshelves with the urn that contained Charlie's ashes. It was all too familiar, but seeing the bright colors that had been described to me made it more "home."

Knowing that it was going to be an explosion, a visual masterpiece with the awards, certificates, and trophies she'd won, I'd decided to put off Carlie's room until last. The plethora of bright colors when I opened the door proved my assumption right. Grinning at the immaculately clean floor, I made my way in and stood to take it all in. I could stand here forever I realized, just soaking up the positive feelings that emanated from the room. Pictures of she and Seth, our family, her friends, and the Quileute dominated the corkboards she'd placed around the room. She certainly believed in surrounding herself in memories. But turning to leave, the ones that were placed on her side table halted my progress.

The need to flee warred with the desire to approach. The latter won out. Lowering myself onto the bed, I breathed deeply before reaching out with an unsteady hand to pull the first picture to me. My heart clenched seeing his head lying in my lap as we both gazed in wonder at the other. We were in the meadow where we'd picnicked with his family. I'd been feeding him grapes, and he'd been totally uncomfortable with my doing so, saying that he should be waiting on me.

"I'm your slave, Bella, not the other way around."

It had been just days later that everything changed. I'd never seen the picture, and the memories it invoked were bittersweet. My memory had kept him in perfect recall during the dark years, and it made me dizzy…a flush feeling flaring across my skin making my mouth go dry, my heart pound, and my fingers tingle. My hands shook so hard that I was afraid I'd drop the picture. I could remember his smell, the unique scent that always seemed to make me want him so much more. The taste of him when we'd kiss, the feel of his hair running through my fingers.

He'd been my everything…

If the first one had made me dizzy, the next one made my breath catch. It was a close up of him and Carlie, mostly their faces. They were both asleep, peaceful in their slumber. It appeared that they were on a longue, and Carlie was in her bathing suit. Unable to stop myself, I held the picture even closer…mesmerized by him. The boy I knew had turned into an exquisite man and the treacherous thing that my heart was…it throbbed, squeezed, and ached. In the privacy of my daughter's room with no one else around to see me do it, I placed my fingertip to his face and traced his eyebrows, cheekbones, and then lips as I'd once done to him. Just touching a simple picture seemed to make my skin burn. Trying hard not to sob, I wheezed until I could breathe again.

Time had been good to him.

Forcing myself to place the picture back, I picked up the last one, skipping over the portrait of her and me together…I'd already cried over that one. It was his family, a stick thin, long-haired Alice with a drop dead gorgeous man that could only be Jasper, Emmett…looking like he had as a teenager, just bigger…with a Princess Rosalie at his side. Then Carlisle and Esme…her looking like she hadn't aged a day, still the starlet, and Anthony…holding two girls, one on each hip. Emmy and Jasmine, I would guess from hearing their names. Ross and Alistair stood together just in front of him as if they were planning some mischief. The picture had been done in a garden.

It was the first glimpse I had of him awake and something was off. Scanning him intently, I couldn't put my finger on it, but something about his face seemed different…wrong. Hearing my family returning, I realized my time was up in figuring it out. Placing the picture back in its spot, I hurried to the couch to "assume the position" so that Jake wouldn't gripe.

It was probably a good thing because I was absolutely lightheaded from what I'd seen.

"Not fooling me at all," Jake grumbled when he walked in the room, and he almost stopped when I didn't immediately react.

It was difficult to force anything out, so I sarcastically replied, "HA! HA!"

After dinner, I made Jake pull out the pictures Aro had given us. Leah wrapped me in her arms as I looked at the damning evidence. When I gazed at her in agony, she'd solemnly nodded her head and squeezed me a little harder.

It was bad, really bad.

That night, haunted by the images of the pictures, Aro's words about the Cullens running through my mind, and uncomfortable because of the damn shield, I found it difficult to fall asleep. The images that formed in my now partially healed eyes were horrific…of what they'd gone through, what they'd seen, and what had happened with me as a result.

I hadn't been happy when I realized that Carlisle had left me at the hospital, and I'd let him know it when he called that evening to check on me.

"Bella, you and your family were celebrating; you didn't need my presence any longer. I would like to see you on Monday though. I need to check your progress; I can either come to your home, or you can come to the hospital?"

His voice had been so reassuring, so humble, that I knew that in his mind he hadn't abandoned me, which had been my initial reaction. In his assessment, he'd left me with my family, who I had made it quite clear that I preferred. It was so freaking respectful that the damning reaction and response I had prepared died on my lips. Wasn't he giving me exactly what I'd asked for…time and space?

After making the arrangements with a very pleased Carlisle, I realized I needed to go see Anthony. I needed to get this done; so that we could all heal, knowing I was the one holding it up. It was my decision as to when, where, or if we could begin, and a sense of peace surrounded me when I made it.

And so the next morning, I stole away from the house early while everyone else was still asleep, knowing that I would absolutely scream if Jacob hovered over me another minute. To think he'd allow me to go see Anthony without a fight…yeah…I knew that wasn't going to happen.

Having called a taxi, I sat back and enjoyed the flashes that ran past the window for a few minutes before closing my eyes. Even with the bulky protective glasses I was forced to wear to shield my eyes, I could clearly see anything within a twenty or so foot radius, but after that, I was lost, the images blurring. In addition, I was having major headaches, which was an expected, but undesirable side effect of the surgery. Carlisle had told me that it might take up to a week for them to go away. So knowing that Jacob was going to gripe at me when I returned home, I at least decided to utilize the trip into town to rest.

Carlie had spoken about Anthony's new place in the swanky hotel downtown, so I wasn't surprised when I finally felt us slowing to open my eyes and see the fancy façade. Thanking the driver after paying him, I stretched out, exchanged the protective wear for prescription sunglasses that Carlisle had instead upon, and brought my cane before me. It was comforting and useful all at the same time, considering that I was still very distracted by the world around me. The automatic process of scanning for anything in front of me was a habit well utilized…keeping me vertical instead of horizontal.

It was my first adventure into the real world after the operation, and I was glad I hadn't brought anyone along. I didn't want to have to explain my reactions when I saw the stares leveled my way, saw the individuals who were downright nosy, or the ones who graciously made sure to give me a wide berth. It was intriguing to see how people reacted when they didn't know you could see them. It was like a window into their soul, or as if they'd been taken back to when they were a child and they hadn't learned that people play games and to keep your cards held close to your chest.

The man that called Anthony on the phone was too curious, his eyes a little too free, but he was polite while leading me to the private elevator before wishing me a good day. I should have expected the ride up to make my nerves sing, but I wasn't quite clear that there was a word to define how I felt. There were only two individuals who lived on the level I'd been directed to, so finding the door was easy. Raising my hand to ring the doorbell was infinitely harder, no matter the hours of self-talk I'd engaged in to get ready during the early morning.

The door swung open, and then it felt like I'd been hit by a truck…the assault on my senses overwhelming me. The sight, smell, and reality of him before me were devastating, and I froze like a deer in the headlights. If the pictures of him in Carlie's room hadn't prepared me, I would have fainted.

"Bella!" he said, but it came out as a seductive, gravelly whisper.

His hands shot to his hair as if to straighten the chaotic mess. It looked like he'd just gotten out of the shower and barely run his fingers through it. It was long…not so much as when we'd been teenagers, but longer than the short, buzzed cuts most men wore, long enough to still wrap your fingers in it. The coppery color was still as vibrant now as it had been then. He went to smooth down his t-shirt self-consciously and then stopped, his amazingly green eyes becoming sad.

I realized in that moment that Carlisle and Esme hadn't told him. They'd respected my wishes, and Anthony still believed me to be blind.

As a devious plan instantly formed in my brain, my eyes remained glued to his. Forest green, dapples of gold, framed by impossibly long lashes, they were as mesmerizing as they'd been when I first met him. I couldn't find a single wrinkle around them, but I wondered if when he smiled if they wouldn't crinkle slightly at the corners in a seductive way.

He'd gained some weight, but I was hazarding a guess that most of it was muscle. He was no longer the slender young boy that filled my dreams, but a man grown…the years of time refining him, making him incredibly, more beautiful. Whereas Emmett reminded me of a football player, Anthony had the lean muscles of a soccer or baseball player. I had to force my eyes away from his hands; the image of his long fingers bringing back too many memories of the things he'd done to me with them, the brush of the slight callouses over my skin.

Before I could finish my perusal, he spoke. "Bella…I…" His hands shot to his hair again, and he tugged at it in agitation. Then, his eyes shot to my face as if he was trying to see behind my glasses. I could visually see him take a deep breath and blow it out slowly. "Please come in, I wasn't expecting you. When security called, I thought Carlie…" He broke off and moved from in front of me.

I was still dumfounded as I realized he was in pajama pants and a t-shirt. Carlie had mentioned that he worked the night shift, and it was evident that he'd just gotten home and was most likely about to go to sleep. My mind continued along the rational path, but my body was stuck on the reality that he was before me…in his sleeping clothes…most likely na…

_DON'T GO THERE!_ The snarky bitch threw out.

He cleared his throat several times nervously as I remained in the doorway, and unknowing that I watched him like a hawk, he allowed his emotions to show.

Nervousness, sadness, desire, and …. NO, IT COULDN'T BE! Obviously my vision was still a little screwy.

"Bella?" he finally said, and the sound of my name on his lips at least caused me to move.

He flitted beside me, reaching back to shut the door before stepping to my side. "My living room is directly ahead, the couch at about one o'clock, twenty or so feet in."

His description was perfect, and as I silently stepped into the room, the outer edges came into focus. The city obviously lay outside the large panes of glass, but it was a blur of larger and smaller structures to me. The room was amazing…the warm walls contrasting well with the wood floors and light colored furniture. A black grand piano sat in the corner, and it made me feel better to see it. Certainly he wouldn't have it here if he didn't play. It set my mind at rest about his niece's statement…obviously I'd just misunderstood.

I could tell that he wanted to lead me to the couch, his hand shooting out every so often, to be forcibly withdrawn and accompanied by a scowl. When my cane hit the side table, I put my hand out and walked around to where I could sit. The entire time, Anthony watched me, assessing my safety, his eyes wandering over me in an…adoring?…manner. He clenched his hands in front of him, like he was having to restrain himself from touching me, but remained standing.

"Would you like some water, juice, anything…" His voice sounded harsh as if he needed to drink something.

My throat was dry as well, and I had to work to get anything out. "Water would be nice."

He moved away across the large living room toward the industrial looking kitchen. I couldn't help but admire it and wondered why he would have such a large, well-stocked area. We'd spent many hours in Charlie's small kitchen and then Esme's masterpiece together, as I taught him to cook. But before us, he hadn't had any interest…as was normal for a teenage boy. When he opened the refrigerator, I could make out that it was fully stocked, seeing a ton of what appeared to be leafy green vegetables and fruit.

My attention was then recaptured by the man bending over, the sliver of his back that the raised shirt revealed drawing my eyes like a beacon. It was my hands that clenched then.

What had I been thinking coming here? I was a mess; seeing him a jolt to my system. Electricity raced across my skin as I realized I was in his home…alone with him. As I'd observed, he was no longer the boy that made my heart and body sing. He was a man; an impossibly beautiful and alluring specimen. My heart was doing much more than singing…thumping wildly against the cage of my chest. My body was traitorous, aching for a touch that wouldn't come.

I started to panic, but took a deep breath fighting to focus.

Thank God he didn't know I was looking at him. Turning with two bottles of water in his hands, he glanced over at me and remained frozen for a moment. I wondered what he was thinking…that perhaps this was to be an awkward conversation, most likely. He'd long since broken the ties with me, and to have them forcibly thrust into his life by our daughter must have been an interesting turn of events for him. But, he'd said he wanted to talk, to say he was sorry, so we'd get through this and come to an understanding of how we'd make this work.

Taking a deep breath, that made me focus on the breadth of his chest, Anthony moved toward me and sat the water on the sofa table beside me, taking the time to open the cap, an old habit of his with me, before he moved to sit on an ottoman directly in front of me. I was surprised at his choice, curious as to why he would want to be in such close proximity to me. But, I was grateful; it gave me the ability to watch his face intently without his knowledge.

Little was I to know that I'd regret it soon.

"Bella, I need to know if you are here to talk, or if there is another reason for your visit?" he asked quickly, after taking a large drink of water. I watched as the muscles in his throat flexed, fascinated by the play of his slightly tanned skin. It seemed that he waited in anticipation for my answer, and I saw something that reminded me of the boy he'd once been…eagerness…as if he cared what I said.

"I came to speak with you, but if this is a bad time?"

"NO!" he sputtered out, half standing as if to block my escape. He realized what he'd done and shook his head as if he was inpatient with himself, sitting down softly. If I hadn't been able to see him, I'd have never known it happened.

Another sip of water… I noticed that his hands were shaking.

"No, please stay. I just didn't know the purpose of your visit." He chuckled in a nervous manner. "I thought you were Carlie. She cancelled on me saying that you had some big plans this weekend."

Pain skewed across his face, and I wanted to know why, but I wasn't about to give up my advantage to ask. He'd turned toward the window for a moment as if he was attempting to compose himself. Heat blazed from the green of his eyes when he turned back.

"It's early. Are you hungry? I can fix you an omelet or…"

"Thank you, but I'm fine," I interrupted, knowing I'd puke if I ate now. He was nervous…as much as I was.

He nodded, as if he was talking to himself, agreeing with whatever internal conversation was occurring. "Thank you," he murmured.

"For?"

"Coming…I can't tell you what it means to me." His hands twisted around the water bottle in agitation. "Bella, if you would allow me, I would like to tell you about what happened, of how I screwed up."

He was going straight to the heart of the matter, his eagerness showing in his haste. I'd thought to stay quiet and allow him to tell me it all, but really, I didn't have it in me to hear the horror story again.

"Anthony…" he jerked at the name. Pain so raw that it was emotionally overloading flickered across his face. He started to speak, but I stopped him with my next words. "Aro has already filled me in on most of it, of what happened to Alice and your family afterwards. Jake and Leah saw the photos and described them to me." That wasn't a total lie.

"What!" he gasped, his hands in his hair again.

"He…retrieved a copy." That was about as good an explanation as I could give. "I know what happened to you afterward, and that you didn't know about Charlie or Carlie. The past is the past, and we don't have to relive it. Let us move on from here and decide what to do about our child, because isn't that what this is all about…building a future for Carlie."

His eyes widened before he put his hands to his head, lowering as if he was going to be the one to put his head between his knees.

"Bella, no…that isn't what this is all about, although us getting along for Carlie's sake is something I hope we can do." He sat back up and looked at me so intensely that for a second, I thought he might be on to me. Then, I saw him take a deep breath as if he was preparing for something important, before he seemed to settle. He surveyed my face, and I could see that he wanted the dark glasses gone, but I wasn't about to offer. "I'm most grateful that Aro shared the information with you. If he hadn't of done me the favor of telling you, then I would be spending an inordinate amount of time explaining it, which would only sound like a bunch of excuses. I really just want to beg your forgiveness for what I did to us. There just isn't the correct word for how I feel, or the correct words to say all this to you."

He moved a few inches closer.

"I was wrong. No, I was so much more than wrong…I was sanctimonious and cruel. I can't just say that I am sorry, because that would be an ironic joke to think that you would forgive me after everything, but I can tell you that no one knows better than me how unworthy I am. I spent the first few years after leaving you trying to burn everything good out of me, to forget your touch, to forget the look in your face as you smiled at me, to forget that we'd ever existed. I did it because to remember was agony. If I'd just had one ounce of the strength you had, I would have come to you when you called and allowed you to explain. We could have raised our daughter together and had a wonderful life. But no, instead I had to tarnish everything that was pure and simple and good about us. I desecrated everything…everything, and all because I was too weak to just believe…"

"Anthony…"

"PLEASE…" he interrupted and seeing me jump at the volume he'd shouted out, he calmed. "Please don't call…" This time his hand rubbed above his heart, as if it pained him.

_Don't call what?_ I wanted to shout and almost did, but he kept me from it when he started talking again.

"What happened to me, happened. There is nothing from my past that justifies how I treated you. There is no excuse for it, and I won't render one today or any other day. All I can do is plead with you to listen to me, to hear my sorrow for what I did. It is true sorrow, Bella…for how I tore you down in front of the other students, for not having taken your phone calls, for not being with you when Charlie died, for not sharing everything…"

Unable to even think clearly…the agony in his voice rolling over me in waves, I froze. Anthony looked tired now, and I saw the look I'd seen in the picture of him with his family. I knew what it was; it was the look of utter despair and defeat. He was successful, young, and apparently well desired…what did he have to be sad for?

"Touching Tanya Denali was a mistake, only eclipsed by believing her in the first place." He was holding his hands out in front of him, looking at them as if they were a puzzle he couldn't comprehend, disdain written across his cheekbones. "I would wipe the mistakes from the past if I could…" he jerked his head up to look at me "…but I can't."

He actually dribbled some water down his chin when he went to drink; his hands were shaking so badly. I watched mesmerized as the water followed a course across his defined jawline before he brushed it away. The inner bitch wanted to slap him for even bringing that woman up in front of me, but the vision of my face cradled to Jacob's chest, albeit innocently, mocked me. Was I really so catty to believe I wouldn't have pitched a fit if I'd seen a similar picture of Edward with another. Of course, I believed I would at least have let him explain.

"It took me several years to clean up, but when I did, I couldn't hide from the cold, gnawing feeling inside me. I knew that you were innocent long before Tanya's little revelation…" I gasped wondering just why he hadn't come to me then "…but I wouldn't let myself think about it. Just because I was free from the crap I took in my attempts to forget you, didn't mean I was ready to face you."

"What do you mean?" I hoarsely asked.

He faced me fully again. "I can barely hold myself together to speak with you now. Can you imagine what it would have been like then, when I couldn't even stand without shaking?"

I wanted to point out that he was shaking now, spilling water everywhere, but I knew what he meant, and I still didn't want to lose my advantage. A realization of just how low I was sinking…hiding my sight from him so that I can see him without masks…hit me. Even as much as my father had hated this man before his death, Charlie wouldn't have been proud of the way I was acting. He was all about straight and simple…getting to the matter at hand and not playing games.

"When Tanya finally fessed up, I knew my time was at hand." He stopped and his eyes went to his hands again.

"Aro indicated that you hired a Private Investigator."

"Yes."

Silence settled for a few moments, and I wondered if I might have to prompt him. Just when I was about to cave, he murmured, "Bella, I need to get something, okay? I'll be right back."

He stood, and I watched him walk away, disappearing down the hallway to our left. It took everything within me not to chase after him…panic setting in when I couldn't see him any longer. The electricity between us seemed to convert to a magnetic pull, as if I was supposed to follow him, not remain apart from him. When he came back just seconds later, I saw that he had a book in his hands. It was worn and tattered, as if it had been well loved and read a million times. The binding had even been taped together from what I could see. Long, lean legs walked in front of me and a dozen memories of tracing my fingers down them overwhelmed me before he sat down, pulling the ottoman even closer. Our knees were but inches apart, and it was as if I could hear the crackle of electricity between us.

His hand moved softly over the cover, obliterating my view of it, before he began again. "The family wanted to track you down, in order to make amends. With Tanya's admission, I couldn't hide anymore. Gone was any barrier, and I just couldn't hold back. I believed, and it was my greatest hope, that you'd found the love you deserve…but I knew you also deserved for me to tell you how wrong I was." He cleared his throat. "The relief when I paid the private investigator was immense…it was like I could breathe for the first time."

"Why did you call the PI off?"

His eyes snapped forward, and he looked sick. "Can I ask you a question, Bella?"

I shrugged, the tortured look on his face making me want to pamper him.

"Has there been anything positive come out of me returning into your life?"

"Carlie is ecstatic. She is absolutely in love with you and your family. How can you question that?" Couldn't he see how much they meant to her already?

He shook his head in agitation. "No you, Bella. Has there been anything positive that came out of me coming back into your life? Anything at all?"

I couldn't admit to Carlisle's intervention just yet, so I moved onto the next point and silence ruled. He let it sit until it almost became unbearable. I actually winced at the oppressive stillness.

"Exactly," he finally said and his voice broke on the word.

Instinctually he turned away, as humans do when they were facing a very difficult moment, when direct eye contact was just too much. Tears gathered in his eyes and he dashed them away, controlling his movements so that I wouldn't "sense" them. I was blinking furiously, attempting to control any from running down my checks, but failed. His point had been made. Without Carlie, there really wouldn't have been any positive reason for him to reappear…the benefit of an apology not worth the pain. He bit his lip and nodded in a determined manner.

"I didn't know about Carlie, or my decision would have been different. Not that she means more to me than you, but because her existence added a different level of responsibility to my actions."

I understood what he was saying, perhaps against all odds, but I did. He would have been responsible for her…I'd never doubted that.

"That evening, I sat around the table with my family full of hope. The next morning, I couldn't get to the office quick enough to see if the man had faxed over anything. It was then that we found out about Charlie."

I sobbed, thinking of Jacob's voice telling me that my dad wasn't coming to get me and why. Anthony jumped at the sound and started to reach out for me, but his fingertips hovered just above my arm. I didn't have to see to know it was there…the heat flowed between us, singeing my skin. He stared at where he'd about touch me and then slowly withdrew his hand…the clenched fist back.

"Once I'd let go of the figurative bonds I'd placed around me, I couldn't focus, I couldn't breathe, all I wanted to do was find you and make sure you were okay. To know that Charlie hadn't been there…" He cursed. "Finally, my secretary made me go to lunch, telling me that I was driving her crazy and that she would call me if anything further came in. Needing the fresh air, I decided to walk to one of the local sidewalk cafes, passing a bookstore on the way. I found myself walking in, in need of a distraction, and knowing that I would probably absorb only about a tenth of what I was reading, I hastily picked up the latest "hot" book, that was on display, grabbed a sandwich, and went back to the office. Seeing the scowl on Miranda's face, I buried myself inside and began to read…hoping to keep myself from going crazy or being murdered by my assistant." He grinned his smirk and my heart stuttered, just before he shook his head softly.

"The book was amazing, and I couldn't help but get caught up in the message of eventual forgiveness and letting go. By the end of the day, I knew I'd made a horrible mistake." He turned to the back of the book and began to read.

For in this life, we meet as the water with the rock in the stream.

With some, we crash violently with loud noise and vigorous spray.

Others we pass quickly in our journey to the next destination.

At times, the water passes over the rock merrily as the sun dapples its existence.

But always, there is the dance between the rock and the water.

In the end, the rock's rough edges are worn smooth, and the water is purified.

In God's creation, we are shaped and defined by the interplay, so that we can always remember.

And by remembering we never lose what is important…

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;

What is essential is invisible to the eye.

NO! NO! NO! NO! The earth stopped turning and the band around my chest tightened. Unaware of my distress, Anthony continued talking.

"Anonymous…whoever he or she is…helped me see, Bella. We were going to be like the water, overwhelming you…drowning you more than likely. See how we've already botched it all, rushing in "crashing violently with loud noise and vigorous spray" like a tsunami. I don't think we'd know how to accomplish the merry dance between the water and rock, because all we…I…wanted to do was lay on the ground at your feet and grovel. Watching the last few weeks unfold, I've realized just how right I was in my assessment back then. It didn't mean I didn't feel the need to still subjugate myself before you, but without the impetus that Carlie provided…you were better and would be better off without us in your life."

Feeling faint from the lack of oxygen, I began to feel sick. Oh God, no…please…

"I've often wondered who the G.E. was to whom the author dedicated the book. Was he or she the water or the rock? In the end, did they dance merrily or was he/she only a stop in the destination? My decision was made. I'm sorry I didn't find you then Bella to apologize, but I made a decision and I stuck to it, even when it almost killed me. Alice begged unmercifully, but thankfully my mom and dad seemed to understand."

In the small part of my brain that wasn't dying, I noted…because they thought I was married to Jacob and had two of his babies. In the part of my brain that was dying, I noted…Fate had thrown everything against us.

The book had been my farewell to him, my dedication…Green Eyes, my nickname for him. I'd let go of the boy who'd haunted me slowly, bit by bit, as I wrote the words and sobbed through the process. It was my Swan Song to him…hence the name. How couldn't he have not known? Forcing my eyes to the tattered book that was cradled in his hand, I realized he had…somewhere deep inside, his soul had recognized mine's work….soul speaking to soul when nothing else would listen. The well-worn look of the book told of many readings, as if he was seeking an answer within the pages.

"The women were my sick way of addressing the physical ache to be with you, but it never really worked, and I feel less about myself than I ever thought possible because of it. I was disrespectful…my actions were just another horrendous mistake after another. I saw your face, not theirs." He grimaced at the horrible admission.

I wheezed out at the implications of what he was saying, and his eyes jerked to mine. He looked horrified at seeing the tears running down from under my glasses. I wondered if I was blue.

"Bella, breathe!" he ordered moving even closer, and I forced air in and out of my lungs, feeling the burning as if liquid fire was pouring down my throat. He watched me intently until he saw me begin to calm.

"Why…why are you telling me this?" I gurgled out, totally incapable of telling him just who G.E. was or that a little over seven years ago, he'd been the whole reason for the book The Swan Song by Anonymous.

Green eyes took me in intently, and he opened his mouth as if to say something but didn't. Finally he said very softly and with great pain, "I don't really have the right to ask, but Demetri…is it serious?"

WHAT! Demetri? What did he have to do with any of this? I said the first thing that came to mind. "He makes me…happy." He made me laugh, feel comfortable, and just relax. It was so easy to be around him.

Anthony actually looked sick at my words. He moved back, and I felt the withdrawal physically and emotionally.

"Why are you telling me this?" I growled out, furious that he hadn't answered my question.

"It isn't important, Bella." He closed his eyes, pain washing across his features. "Would you please consider accepting my heartfelt apology?"

There was no doubt that he was contrite; sincerely upset over what his actions had done. The simplicity of his words and their timbre left me no other interpretation. But why had he said what he did about the women, about trying to forget me…he'd long ago accomplished that.

"WHY!" I roared, making my head hurt and reminding me that I was still recovering from surgery and wasn't supposed to get overly emotional. But, I wasn't always the most rational person.

Edward eyes flared at my tone, his face a masterpiece of regret and agony, just before he growled out, "Because I hoped to see if we might be able to start again, to see if you might give me another chance at us. I love you, Bella. I always have, and I always will…"

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><p><strong>AN: I know…I know…but you'll notice that this chapter was almost 8000 words! It was humongous in total. Reviewers will get Edward's POV of his and Bella's talk and what he was feeling. Yup! You heard me…Edward's side. I couldn't make it work to have them both here.<strong>

**The dedication in Bella's book is one I did for my husband for our first Valentine's Day. I purchased a copy of The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry for him (the last two lines are from the book). He should have known what he was up for... Snicker.**

**Would love to know what you think...**


	30. Orders

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola and Twiloversue for pre-reading and betaing this. **

**Seems that some of the Edward outtakes didn't get to those of you that responded. Please let me know if it didn't, and we'll try again! Smillsy, sscaldwe, and crackupmonkey, couldn't send your way because the PMs are disabled. Send me a note with your email if you are comfortable, and I'll send!**

**I apologize for posting this a day late, real life has been crazy. Please also excuse the length of the chapter and the multiple POVs. I combined two chapters to get us further along in the story.**

**If you haven't gone over to the Shimmer Awards – venture over! There are a ton of great stories up for vote.**

**http:/shimmerawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/**

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

"_Why…why are you telling me this?" She was shocked and angry._

_I opened my mouth to tell her, but froze, the weight of the world on my shoulders, fear eating at my insides, love and longing filling my heart. I needed to know…."I don't really have the right to ask, but Demetri…is it serious?"_

"_He makes me…happy." _

_He makes me happy. Such simple words, but ones that told me more than she knew. He makes me happy, and you can't. The import of the words hit me, and I tried not to fold in on myself. As it was, I moved back from her slightly, afraid that she would feel my violent shaking. _

"_Why are you telling me this?" she growled out at me._

"_It isn't important, Bella." I had to close my eyes against the tidal wave that threatened to overwhelm me. She deserved happiness. "Would you please consider accepting my heartfelt apology?"_

"_WHY!" She screamed at me, jarring me from my agony._

_Rational thought fled, and I responded solely on my feelings, desires, and dreams. "Because I hoped to see if we might be able to start again, to see if you might give me another chance at us. I love you, Bella. I always have, and I always will…"_

The minute the words were out of my mouth, time seemed to stand still. Bella gasped, and I held my breath. Part of me wished that I could retract them, but the bigger part of me was glad I'd finally told her. My heart froze when she began sobbing, and I watched as her hands flew to her face, her fingers going to just above her eyes, cupping them. But when she screamed and it wasn't one of rage but agony, I started to panic. Had the thought that I loved her caused her physical pain?

However, my life changed when in haste she pulled the despised glasses from her eyes and dropped them to the sofa cushion beside her. In the second before Bella shielded her eyes, I saw the most amazing sight…she looked directly at me with bloodshot eyes…and she "saw" me…truly looked into my eyes for the first time in over fifteen years. Our eyes met for the barest of moments, and the bond I felt between us seemed to physically pull me toward her.

But then…

But then her screams of agony lanced through me breaking the spell, and the horror settled in.

NO! The bloodshot eyes?

Damn it! Recognition of just why Carlie had wanted to stay home with Bella settled in. She'd had surgery…someone had repaired her retinas…and now, now…she and I may have just done irreparable damage.

"Bella, My Love…" I reached for her to push her down into a bent position, to help provide the pressure needed.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" she screamed, and my hands jerked back. "Don't…" she sobbed and dissolved into hysterics in front of me.

She needed to be in the hospital; her pulse and blood pressure could destroy everything. _Don't touch me, _she'd said. But she was falling apart in front of me, rocking back and forth in agony, one arm around her chest, the other all but clawing at her eyes.

"Bella! Stop! Breathe!" She was ignoring me, quickly escalating out of control.

I moved toward her again, hoping to at least bend her forward, and she screamed at me again, sobbing out, "Don't!"

My control snapped. "Bella, I will after this point obey your every command to me, but not this time…" and I snatched her tiny body into my arms. Thankfully, my keys were on the side table, and I grabbed them, running for the elevator.

She'd frozen when I touched her, but couldn't control the sobs and the twitches of her hands at her eyes.

"Bella, Love, please focus on your breathing. Deep ones…In…Out…In…Out." I kept up the rhythm trying to give her something to focus on while I beat at the buttons, hoping that it would make the trip down faster. The valet stared at me like I was a mad man when I excited the elevator carrying her. But he called for my car, quickly ascertaining that I was in some state of crisis. When he opened the passenger door, I carefully placed her in the seat and battled her swatting hands to get her buckled in.

"Bella, for the love of God, quit fighting me! I am taking you to the hospital." She slumped a little at my words. "Would you please bend forward and put your head on your knees!" I pleaded, knowing it was the best I could do for her until I could get her to the emergency room.

Dashing around the back of the car, I heard the valet saying something, but my mind was fully focused on the woman in the front of my car. I pulled out of the underground garage like a maniac and at least waited to right us in traffic before I said, "Call dad!" to the dash phone…having left my cell back at the penthouse.

The moments of ringing seemed the longest of my life, and I kept glancing between her and the road. Dark mahogany hair spread across the seat, almost curling around the stick shift I was punishing.

"Bella breathe! In…Out…" I reminded her, but when she tried her chest spasmodically heaved, and I heard her whimper in pain. Her pain was mine, and my heart seized hearing her suffer. The speedometer inched up again, and I started cursing as the damn phone kept ringing.

Finally… "Son?"

"Dad, where are you?" I growled out, and I could hear the confusion in his voice when he answered.

"At the hospital, I came in to check up on…"

"I'm on the way with Bella; please meet us at the emergency room."

"Wh.."

Again I didn't let him complete his sentence. "And dad, whichever of our surgeons did her eyes…get them there now!"

"Edw…"

"NOW!" I slammed the disconnect button, unable to handle the emotions I was feeling…betrayal, horror, fear, panic, and love.

She was still panting, but it seemed she was at least attempting to follow my directions. When I swerved around a slower car, her hand reached out blindly for a secure hold and accidentally grabbed my leg. Somewhere in my overwhelmed brain, the thought registered that she held on just a few moments more than necessary, but it was quickly banished by the fear overriding me. The conversation that I'd had with her…it shouldn't have happened. The surgery…it couldn't be more than a week old. She should be at home resting with no emotional distress. Damn it what had I done? I would NEVER forgive myself if my actions had harmed her eyes in anyway.

My phone rang, and I saw that it was my father. For a moment, I considered not answering, so great was the pain at knowing that he'd known and not told me, but Bella came first. Not me.

"Edward where are you?" he asked, his tone calm.

"A minute away," I jerked the wheel again, sliding us around another car.

"You need to slow down," he said quickly, having heard the tires squealing.

"I need to get her to the hospital!" I bit off.

"Edwar…"

"DAD! Bella came to my house…to talk with me!"

His stunned silence told me that he understood then…that I'd done exactly what I'd wanted to do and told her the truth. The fact that I was rushing her to the hospital told him just exactly how it had gone.

"I didn't know…or I wouldn't have…"

I slowed down coming into the hospital parking lot and pulled into the emergency entrance seeing it blessedly free of an ambulance. Seeing one of our security guards coming to intercept me, I shouted his name as I tore from the car. His shocked expression changed quickly, as I threw him the keys with a shouted, "Please!"

"C'mon Love, we're here," I told her as I opened the door and bent to scoop her up. This time, Bella didn't struggle, and I froze for a moment at the feel of her body slumping into mine. It took everything I had not to kiss her on the top of the head. A strangled breath escaped her. "Bella, you need a sedative to calm you," I told her as I ran through the doors. Several of the emergency room nurses saw me and thankfully quickly whipped into action, pointing to an empty room.

"Dr. Cullen?" the head nurse, Nancy, asked quickly.

I placed her on the bed, and went to straighten her out, but she held her hands out in my direction… "DON'T!"

It was like a gunshot sounding out through the room.

"Vitrectomy performed two days ago," my father's voice called from the doorway, distracting us. He barely met my eyes as he came to my side. I moved away, already headed to draw up the appropriate medications to calm her. "She should be at home resting post-op."

The nurses around us called out her blood pressure and pulse rate, which were both extremely high…dangerously so for her and her repaired eyes.

While I began preparing the medication, my dad spoke softly to her, and I shook when she answered him. At least with him, she was somewhat calm. Gina, one of the best emergency room nurses I knew, stared at me and my reaction. The look of dawning understanding on her face did me in…and she had to take the bottle and needle away from me.

"Dr. Cullen, I believe you should leave this for the other Dr. Cullen. You should come with me so that I can take care of your injuries," she said.

My injuries? I saw my father's head whip around to look, and the surrealness of the moment made me stall. It took a second for me to follow her gaze to my feet and to see the pool of blood on the floor. I must have sliced them on something getting out of the car…I hadn't even thought to get shoes, so intent was I on getting Bella here.

"Anthony!" she spoke a little more directly, but the only thing that changed my mind was seeing Dr. Livingston enter the room.

If he was the one to have performed Bella's surgery, she couldn't be in better hands. I had no business giving her medication in my state, so I moved like a zombie with Gina, swiping blood across the pristine floor.

"Edward," my father called, and ever the obedient son, my head turned toward him instinctually to find both he and Bella, from her bent position, looking in my direction. She was panting frantically, her hands pressing at her face. But the horror evident in her eyes was painful.

Dropping my head, I moved away, even as he called me. Away from the woman I loved, the woman that had witnessed the most intimate moments of my misery and love, and the woman who couldn't stand my touch.

DON'T TOUCH ME! The words reverberated through my brain, even as one of our other emergency room doctors stitched the long gash I'd torn into my foot. DON'T TOUCH ME! The words sliced at my heart as I refused the pain medication that could become my demon. DON'T TOUCH ME! The words added to the throbbing misery I experienced, even as I released the crutches and fell to my knees in the chapel and prayed for Bella's eyes. DON'T TOUCH ME! I heard when Gina found me hours later and told me that Bella had been stabilized. DON'T TOUCH ME! The words reminded me of my place in life, as Jacob and Leah ran through the hallway in front of me, Carlie and Seth right behind them.

Torn, I didn't know what to do. To stay seemed futile. My presence would only disturb Bella, but somehow the thought of leaving seemed too close to what I'd done to her in the past. My answer came in the manner of her other visitors. The Velathris arrived a few minutes later, and I watched from a darkened corner of the hallway as Carlie ran into Aro's arms and Jacob stood close, his hand on her back. Demetri waited with them, seemingly eager to get in the room.

Bella had her family here now, and my father needed to be with her. I struggled with the blasted crutches to the nurse's station and found Gina.

"I need a favor."

"Anything," she answered. I'd introduced her to her husband, certain that they'd be the perfect pair, and I hadn't been wrong.

"I need somewhere to lie down."

She turned her head in the direction of where Bella was located and sorrow passed over her features. She'd tried to return my favor and set me up with one of her friends. I'd quickly explained that I wasn't the type of person she wanted to have associated with someone she liked. Gina understood what I was asking. I wouldn't inflict any further hurt on Bella with my presence, but I needed to be close in case something happened.

"The nurses have a room where we catch some shut eye during our breaks."

"It sounds perfect."

After leading me there, she said softly, "I'll make sure that you aren't disturbed, and I'll come get you if there is any change with Ms. Swan."

"Thank you, Gina. By the way, you're carrying it well. Congratulations."

She beamed, joy oozing from every pore. "Thank you, Anthony."

Laying my head on the thin hospital pillow, I continued to pray through the throbbing of my foot and pulled the blanket over my head. It was agony to be separated from her, to not be watching over her, but it was not my place. I wouldn't be able to sleep, I knew, but lying down on the bed would at least take the pressure off my foot.

God...please let her be okay.

DON'T TOUCH ME!

I promise…just God please let her be okay. Again, I didn't know that the Almighty would listen to me, but I was willing to promise anything, to do anything to make it happen.

**Bella POV**

Muted voices came from around me, and I felt jittery, knowing that something wasn't right. It took a moment for me to realize where I was…in the hospital again. I must have tripped and fallen. But then the pain in my eyes seared me, and I remembered.

"_I love you, Bella. I always have, and I always will…"_

Where was he? The shock of the words had caused me to panic, and in panicking, I'd threatened my eyes. When he went to touch me, I'd been overwhelmed by my emotions. And I'd known that if he'd laid hands on me, I wouldn't be able to think clearly. I needed time! It was the only thought that had flown through my mind. But then the reality of his words had taken over again…

He couldn't seriously have loved me all along…could he?

The last vision of him, fuzzy from several feet away, had seemed wrong. It was almost as if he bowed in on himself…an old man, fragile and about to disintegrate. Oh my God! I'd screamed at him, when he'd laid me on the bed. "DON'T!" I'd seen the pain and resignation settle then.

I felt drugged, and my eyes were bound. I attempted to move and heard a voice in the distance.

"Bella, stop struggling. The doctors have put the shield back on and have wrapped your head."

It was Leah's voice, and then I heard Jake in the background.

"Going to kill the son of a bitch when I find him…"

NO… He hadn't known…at least not until that last moment, when his eyes had met mine and my secret had been exposed. I'd seen his eyes flare in recognition. Even without the glasses, he'd been close enough for me to catch his reaction.

Where was he?

"Bella, we are going to give you something to rest. Dr. Livingston and I decided that it would be in your best interest. We don't think you did any damage, thanks to Edward's…" Carlisle's voice stopped for a moment "…quick intervention."

Jacob cursed in the background again, and I tried hard to talk, but the words wouldn't come out. I could feel the drug pulling me under. Just before I passed out, I remember the nurse saying something about him being hurt. What had happened? Where was he?

**Edward POV**

I couldn't drive with my foot wrapped, so I called a taxi, having one of the male nurses move my car from the emergency room parking deck to the underground space for employees. It would be fine there until I could return. In addition, I arranged coverage for my shifts over the next few days. I'd stood in for many of the doctors during holidays, birthday parties, and dates. One look at my crutches, and it had been an easy process. After checking again with my co-conspirators, the nurses, about Bella, and then my other favorite patient, finding her in physical therapy for the broken leg her father had given her; I gave the social worker my answering service number to reach me and made a decision.

It was time for me to leave the hospital. There had never really been a reason for me to stay in the first place.

Bella was fine, surrounded by her family and slowly recovering. It was an answer to the prayers I'd chanted. I was surprised that the nurses had shown loyalty to me over my father. Word in the halls was that he was looking for me. But I wasn't ready to face him just yet, so instead of giving the address to the compound or the penthouse, I told the driver to take me by the bank and then to the Four Seasons. Jasper would quickly trace any purchases on my card, so I intended to struggle into the bank to withdraw enough money to last the next few days. I was going to need some clothes…the only thing I possessed at this time was the sweat suit and slippers that Gina had brought me. At least the concierge at the Seasons would be able to locate someone who could personally find me some things to wear until I was ready to go back to the penthouse.

I'd call the answering service and give them the phone number to my room as soon as I had it, in case of an emergency. The absence of my cell phone, which was most likely resting on my bedside table where I'd left it, seemed almost a blessing.

I would have to come to some conclusion regarding how to operate in my new prescribed world. I was to serve as Bella and Carlie's protector; it would seem…a figure in the background as they forged their lives. Carlie's piano competition was this weekend, and I wanted to attend, which meant I would have to determine how to interact appropriately with Bella. I would have to face my family then, and then once again, for the yearly torture that would follow - the parole-board hearing being Monday week. Heaven…hearing Carlie play…before Hell…facing the monster.

Faced with uncertainties, I really wanted a long hot shower, but I had to satisfy myself with a quick one as I fought to keep my bandages dry. Swallowing some Tylenol I'd snagged from the hotel gift shop, and another antibiotic pill that the hospital pharmacy had filled, I brushed my teeth with the toothbrush I'd also bought. Then, I collapsed into the king size bed allowing the exhaustion of past chaotic forty eight hours pull me under, knowing that I would most likely be haunted by the look on Bella's brown eyes when she'd looked at me…and the sound of her voice as she'd ordered me to stay away from her. Her loss was going to destroy me.

~SOMP~

**Bella POV**

"Bella, can you hear me?" Jake's voice called, and I struggled through the comfortable darkness to find him.

When all I could see was blackness, my heart raced, and I shot straight up on the bed in panic. I'd ruined my eyes!

"Calm down," he said to the side, catching my hands as they would have torn at the fabric around my eyes. "Carlisle refuses to allow the wrapping to be removed. He 'insists'…" he mocked Carlisle's voice almost perfectly "…that they remain. Honestly, I'm kinda glad. You'll listen to him, when you won't us."

As he pressed the nurse call button and informed them that I was awake and to get Dr. Cullen, I realized something; Jake was upset with me. I'd snuck out of the house on him…and look where it had gotten me.

"Did you really go see him?" he growled out, going to the heart of the contention between us.

"Yes." Why was my voice so small? Like a chastised child. I was a woman grown and could do what I wanted to do. Obviously my emotions played out across the part of my face that wasn't covered in bandaging because Jake stepped in quickly.

"Don't get worked up on me. That is exactly what you don't need to do. Right now, you are risking losing out on the opportunity to go to Carlie's recital tomorrow night."

Tomorrow night? But her recital was Friday… "What! How long have I been under?"

"Four days."

"HUH?" Boy that was eloquent, particularly for someone who made her living writing books.

"The first three were under medication, but even after being taken off of it, you've been sound asleep. Carlisle thinks you were just exhausted and that your body finally decided to take over from that brain of yours. But they believe your eyes are fine. Thank God," he growled out.

Thank God indeed, and several skilled and quick thinking doctors…

"Where's Carlie?" I could imagine she was upset with me.

"School. It's Thursday morning. Carlie finally agreed to go back when Carlisle told her you were just resting, and that you would be fine."

"And the principal let you off?"

"I didn't give him much choice, Bella. I wanted to be here."

I heard what he wasn't saying…he was serving as my bodyguard. He thought he needed to protect me, and I knew why.

"He didn't know, Jake. I didn't tell him, but of course…"

"You didn't know what you were stepping into."

"Why the HELL didn't you tell me?"

He snorted. I could actually feel the bed shake under the movement. "Why the HELL would I?" he countered. Then he settled. "Bella, last time I attempted to talk to you about Carlie's father, I ended up getting beat to a pulp during your little stress reduction time. Leah had already said it; why would you need me to repeat it?"

Ignoring his sarcasm, I reached toward him and grabbed his hand. When I felt the heat of his engulfing mine, I calmed. So did he…and we were okay…just Bella and Jake.

"Can you get him here for me? He and I need to talk."

"Hell…" he dragged the word out over several syllables "no. First, you aren't doing anything until Carlisle checks you over and gives his okay. I never quite knew just how much a tyrant that man could be. His reputation in Forks was significantly flawed." Jake must have been referring to the thought that Carlisle was a saint, and it made me wonder just what had occurred between them during the time I was out to make Jake feel this way. It was ironic; of course, that Carlisle being a tyrant had earned Jake's respect, if the tone of his voice was any indication. "Secondly, I can't."

"Can't because you won't, right!" I snarled at him, mad as hell.

"Can't because I can't. Edward is gone, Bella. You swore at him to leave you alone. Carlisle was able to at least determine that he hid out in the hospital until you were okay, and then he has just disappeared. The family can't find him, even the Whitlock man. Boy, I can tell you that he is pissed…seems it is a personal affront to him that his 'idiot' brother has outsmarted him."

Jake thought that was funny; I didn't. I had yelled at him.

Jake continued talking. "Only contact anyone has had was when Edward called Aro yesterday. The local paper ran a story on Carlie, and it caused a stir. Edward wanted to go for their throats."

I'd frozen at that information. "Article?"

"It was actually much ado about nothing. Title was inflammatory, though. Cullen Love Child to participate in weekend Piano Festival. Aro indicated they really couldn't do anything about it, because it was an accurate statement. The rest of the article was about the Festival itself."

She was a love child, but I didn't like the connotation either. No wonder he'd called Aro.

"They couldn't track him down from that?"

"They tried."

Then I was reminded of something. "Wait, he was injured?"

Jake hesitated a moment, which was telling. "He sliced his foot pretty bad from what the other doctor told Carlisle. He was barefoot in a t-shirt and his pajama bottoms when he brought you in."

Flashes of the minutes in his home raced through my mind, the agony, the nervousness, the love… He'd thought of nothing more than getting me to the hospital.

"Jake, I need to speak with him." I insisted again.

The door opened at that moment, and Jake clued me into who it was immediately.

"Carlisle, Sleeping Beauty has awoken."

"Ah…so it seems." His cultured voice was soothing, and thanks to my brief days of vision, I could envision clearly how his face was probably lit with concern and care.

I patiently waited through his medical questions and for him to check my pulse and other vitals.

"Do I get the bandages off?" I finally asked.

He hesitated before answering. "Bella, I would prefer for them to stay on, but I'm certain you would like a shower. We can take them off for that, but I want you right back into them as soon as you dry your hair. I know you'll want to see Carlie perform tomorrow evening, so I would like to bargain with you for that. Wrappings now, Carlie later."

Jake's chuckle at Carlisle's strong armed tactics pissed me off.

"Fine," I grumped. "Do I get to go home? There is no reason for me to take up valuable bed space here."

"Are you going to keep the bandages on…" he hesitated "…and stay home?"

Anguish rolled over me at his implication.

"Will you please give me his number?"

I heard both of their intakes of breath.

"He isn't answering his phone, Bella." I heard a world of hurt in Carlisle's voice, even though he attempted to keep it out.

"You have no way to contact him?" I continued like a terrier, unable to let it go.

"He is getting messages from his answering service…"

"But he isn't returning your calls," I guessed.

"No."

"I'm sorry Carlisle, truly sorry. I should have realize how it would make him feel when he found out you'd kept it secret."

"Don't worry, my son and I will work this out," he indicated, but I heard the strange sense of desolation in his voice, even as hard as he tried to hide it.

"Do you know if he is at least okay?"

"He's a doctor, Bella. He has some antibiotics…"

A nurse came in at that moment, stopping the conversation, and I took the opportunity to insist on that shower he'd promised.

"Okay, Bella. You can use your sight for the short time we have the bandages off. It'll actually be a good test to see if Dr. Livingston and I were right about our assessment."

His face came into focus as soon as the last wrapping was gone. Still slight blurry, like before, but nonetheless a sign that my eyes were okay. When I grinned at him, he and Jake both breathed a sigh of relief. Jake grabbed a bag that I assumed had my clothes in it and took it into the bathroom.

"Bella, I'm going to go get something to eat, so I'll be back in a little," he said.

"Ring the nurse when you are done, and I'll be back to check you again," Carlisle added before stepping from the room.

"Miss, I'll clean the bed, just in case you have to stay," the pretty young nurse said, causing me to scowl.

I'd had enough of hospitals. I was ready to go home, even if I had to go looking like a mummy.

~SOMP~

The shower had been heavenly, and I took the time to blow-dry my hair as Carlisle had suggested. He wasn't going to let me out of here unless I promised. Throwing on the long sleeved cotton t-shirt and yoga pants Carlie had most likely chosen for me, I sat on the toilet to put on my socks and shoes. The comfortable clothes made me feel tons better.

Walking out into the room, I stopped when I observed a very handsome, but strange man sitting in one of the chairs holding a dozen peach colored roses. His blue eyes twinkled when he saw me, and my confusion was answered immediately when he said, "Hello Beautiful!"

Demetri!

"I've screwed up," I said badly, the words tearing out of me.

His understanding nod of agreement with my statement almost broke me.

"Uh..Uh…Uncle Aro will have my head if you have another emotional breakdown." He stood and opened his arms to me, and I willing settled into his embrace. "We'll figure it out…don't worry."

**Edward POV**

A little more than twenty four hours of sleep did me wonders. My world was still devastated, but at least I could face it with a degree of rationality.

The first thing I did was call the answering service to check on my messages. As I suspected, a plethora from my mother and father, sisters, and brothers. The only one I planned to return was Carlie's. Looking at the clock, I realized I still had a few hours before she would get out of school, but then I realized that she would most likely be at the hospital. I wondered if she would "out" me if I called, but determined that I needed to give her the opportunity either way. I didn't want her not knowing where I was in case she needed me for anything.

The phone rang four times before going over to voice mail. "Carlie, it's me. I'm at the Seasons. (206) 749-7000, room 310. Please don't share this with anyone. I just woke up, and I'll probably be going back to bed soon, but call me if…if you need anything. I left my phone at the house, when I…when I rushed your mom to the hospital, so you'll need to call here. Love you."

Then, I made the call I needed to next.

"Anthony, what can I do for you?" Jenks requested.

"I need someone checked out…as discretely as possible."

"And who might this person be?"

"Demetri Velathri."

The whistle of his surprise blew through the phone. "You are playing with fire."

"I just need to know that he is…a good man." He was after all going to be involved with My Love and daughter. "Do you have someone that can accomplish that without causing waves?"

"I think that can be arranged."

"I'm without my phone at the minute. But, I'll be returning home in the next day or so. Give the person my answering service number until then."

"Will do."

A call to the concierge accomplished getting some clothes on the way. With that done, I had no further distractions and the pain I'd kept at bay crashed over me. Groaning under the weight of it, I popped some more Tylenol for the throbbing in my foot and ordered from room service, needing food in order to take any more of the antibiotics. Once I devoured the huge breakfast I'd ordered, I fell back into bed, fully knowing it was the grief overwhelming me. In the privacy of a clinically sterile hotel room, away from all that was familiar to me and the interference of a well meaning family, I did something I hadn't in a long time…allowing the sobs to take over, I cried like a baby until sleep overtook me again.

~~SOMP~~

"Dr. Cullen, his specific message was, 'Damnit Edward! Call me! I'm having the heart attack here. I need to know that you are okay!'" the harried receptionist read me the missive from Emmett.

"From Dr. Cullen…" she paused clearly confused, but continued "…Son, please." His plea tore at me, but I just wasn't ready yet.

My voice unsteady, I urged her to continue. "Go ahead and give me the others."

"This one is from Mesme Cullen…"

"Esme," I corrected.

"Yes, that right," the woman corrected. "Her's is simply, 'Edward, this is unfair to us. You're hurt, and I'm your mother. Can't you understand why we just need to hear from you? Your silence and flight from us is killing your father. I swear he has aged years since Sunday.'" Good old fashioned mother's guilt.

"Alice Whitlock's reads, "I'm going to go see her if you don't call me. I need to know what happened.'"

Let her go. Perhaps, she would be able to repair their relationship. I'd stalled her too long and had been unfair in doing so. My chance was over, she deserved hers.

"A Jasper Whitlock's was simply, 'I'm closing in.'" I could hear the confusion in the woman's voice. She had no clue what it meant. I did. He was looking for me and wanted me to know that he felt he was close to finding me. It wouldn't be pleasant when he did.

"I'm positive there is one more left, right?"

"No two, Mr. Cullen. The next one is from Rosalie Cullen. Her's is quite…um…different."

I was betting. "Go ahead, I won't hold you responsible," I told her.

"She indicated, 'Get your ass home.'"

I snickered. Thank God for Rose, she was often my sanity in the crazy family I belonged to. I was glad she was becoming friends with Bella.

"Finally, a Mr. Jenks called. He indicated that there was a problem and that you should contact him."

Fear raced through me at the thought, and I quickly got off the phone in order to reach him. Having to leave a message killed me, but in desperation, I left the hotel room number for him.

Then, I ran the risk of calling Rosalie and Emmett's house, counting on my memory in that I believed this to be Emmy's dance day. I breathed a sigh of relief when I did get the answering machine and left a message for them that I was okay, and that I'd be home when I was ready. I'd barely made it to the sink for a drink of water before I heard the phone ringing. Hopping back, I pulled it to me.

"Hello!" I said quickly, eager to hear what the problem was.

"Um…Edward…" Carlie's voice came across the line, and the smile that cut across my face was the first bit of joy I'd experienced in several days.

"Hey Sweetheart…I'm so sor…"

"Don't!..." she said in a voice so similar to her mother's that for a moment the scene where her mother had said the same thing raced through my mind "…apologize. I know how stubborn she can be. Thank you for getting her to the hospital."

"I wouldn't do anything to hurt her," I declared to my daughter, wanting her to understand how sincere I was.

"I know. Are you okay? They said you cut your foot."

Her question brought the throbbing into focus. "Yeah, it'll be okay. I'm taking my meds."

"Poppa said that he found the pain killer prescription where you'd thrown it. Don't you need…"

"No. I'll be fine," I interrupted. A supply of narcotics was the last thing I needed.

We eased into a more normal conversation and ended it with a discussion of the competition and my assurance to her that I would be attending. She'd laughed when I told her that I would have to spoil my tux with dark tennis shoes, knowing I wouldn't be able to handle dress shoes with the gash. Even without the stitches, it would be too tender.

"Are you going home to get your cell, or should I call you here?" she asked.

"I think one more night here."

"'kay. I gotta go, the others will probably be getting home soon. We're going to sit with Mama."

Pain…

"Okay. I'm here if you need anything at all."

"Okay, well..um…bye."

"Bye, Carlie. I love you."

Her call had lightened my mood considerably, so when I heard the knock on the door, I breathed a sigh of relief, believing that Jenks must have gotten my message, and that at least I would know what problem he'd encountered. Looking through the privacy hole, I cursed. The problem was here. Demetri Velathri was on the other side of the door, glaring at me.

Shit!

I wasn't going to be able to avoid him. How the hell had he found me?

He entered the hotel room as silently as Bella had my home. I felt at a disadvantage, first in not knowing the purpose of his visit, secondly in how he'd found me, and thirdly that I was stuck with a pair of crutches and couldn't come close to his elegant grace. The man had it all…including the woman I loved.

"You have an extraordinarily large number of individuals looking for you," he said quickly, as he came to stand by the small sofa, putting his hand to the back of it.

"Which bears to ask how you found me?"

"I have my ways," he elegantly said.

Something about the way he said it made me think that I didn't want to know what those ways were.

"I do not appreciate you sending individuals to investigate me," he stated, but the words were more threats than anything.

What! It had been less than twenty four hours. How had he found out so quickly? Jenks' person had royally screwed up. Remaining silent seemed to be my best option. He turned then and watched me finish the trip over to the area.

"What was your purpose?"

"Of?"

"Cut the crap, Cullen. You hired a private investigator through your attorney Jenks to look into my background. I desire to know why?"

It wasn't as if I could deny it.

Putting the two crutches together so that I could lean against them, I pulled myself to my full height. I refused to be intimidated by him, even though the lethal way he moved told me that I was far outmanned. Suddenly, I wasn't so certain just who Demetri Velathri was, much less what he was.

"Whether or not I deserve her, my daughter is one of the most precious things in my life. Her mother is the other."

He raised his eyebrow in an arch at me. "And you suspect that somehow I'll hurt them?"

"The crux of the matter is, I don't know what you are capable of." There it was said.

He could have come back with a comment about the fact that I was the monstrous one, but he didn't. He narrowed his eyes in assessment of me.

"You plan to stand back and allow me to step into the place you desire without a fight?"

_He makes me happy_…. A harsh bark of laughter escaped me. "There is no fight."

He stared at me with the strangest look, as if he couldn't believe what I'd said. Didn't he know the incredible gift he'd been given…what I'd sacrifice to be handed such an opportunity.

"So that is it? You aren't going to attempt to thwart me?"

"Bella has made her decision, Demetri. You make her happy, and I will do everything to make sure that she gets what makes her happy."

"You just wanted to make sure that I was capable of ensuring that 'happiness.'" His face reflected his astounded thoughts.

"Yes. I don't know who you are, but I am familiar with your family. Bella loves them, and I would suspect that your loyalties, aspirations, and morals have been molded by your parents, aunts, and uncles. My daughter…" I couldn't say 'and Love' "…I just needed to know that she will be part of something…special."

Demetri came to stand just before me, his eyes taking my measure. "You are a strange man, Edward Cullen." That he called me by my first name startled me. "I am not quite certain what to make of you." And just like that, he walked back to the door as if he'd received the answer to some unspoken question. "By the way, your brother-in-law is perhaps only an hour behind me. He is quite the clever man. Given support, he would make quite the ally." His words sounded odd, and I knew that there was more to what he said, and I would probably never know what it was. "If you desire privacy, you need to leave. I do believe he was tracing Carlie's phone."

With that he walked out the door.

It took me a moment to shake free from the oddity of what had just occurred. He'd come to make sure that I knew he was on to me. I'd admitted to it and the purpose, and he'd just walked out. I didn't know what to make of his behavior, but one thing I did know, I didn't want to speak with Jasper. If Demetri said that Jasper was on the way…I believed him. Moving rapidly, I collected the few things I had, shoving them into a bag and then hobbled to the elevator. Settling the bill as quickly as possible, I barely made it into the cab before I saw Jasper's Porsche pull into the parking lot. Scooting down in the seat, I caught a glimpse of both Jasper and Emmett exiting the car.

I gave the cab driver directions home. Since it was the obvious choice, they wouldn't think I'd go there. Entering, I found her glasses lying where she'd dropped them. Her purse as well. I'd forgotten them in my haste to get her help. Picking them up, I went to put them safely on the entrance table and it was then I saw the paper lying on top of the ones I had delivered. Rage poured through me.

Love Child, indeed! Aro tried to get me to calm down when I reached him, but it was difficult.

"Young man, I said there was nothing we could do legally…"

He'd allowed the sentence to trail off, and I'd breathed easier. Aro would take care of it.

"Thank you," I'd replied, grateful he didn't ask me about my location or plans.

As a result of my message to her, Carlie called me the next day to tell me that Bella had woken and would be returning home. I had but one day to relax before I would be thrown into the proverbial fire…otherwise known as Carlie's Festival. In that same day, I had to prepare myself to be respectful as Demetri escorted the meaning for my existence beneath my very nose.

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><p><strong>Don't kill me…there is a plan.<strong>

**I can't promise an outtake this week. Everyone I could do would give away too much about the next chapter. Plus, I need the time to focus on it. HA!**

**I would still love to know what you think?**


	31. Peace

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Lemonmartinies, and Twiloversue for pre-reading and betaing this. You girls rock!**

**Smilisy, your PMs are still disabled, but you'll find the Edward POV in the outtakes as well!**

**I'll be posting several outtake POVs for this chapter later today…I think you'll see why. **

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

"Contrary to what everyone must think, I wasn't running away. Bella asked me to leave, and had I insisted on staying my presence would have only agitated her further, putting her at more risk. In addition, I just needed a break from my family," I stated honestly, looking up to find Elizabeth watching me with humor. "I'll be the first to admit we are a tad enmeshed. Boundaries aren't always our strongest suit."

"Is it boundaries, or just that you are all extremely close and supportive?" she countered.

"Does it matter? Still the same result."

"You have a point there." She tapped her stylus on the tablet she always utilized and then her eyes zeroed in on me again. "So you told her and were met with resistance. Are you just giving up?"

That was a loaded question. How could I really explain? As if my hands held the answers, I looked down to them.

"I laid my heart out for Bella and told her I wanted another chance. Of course, that was before I knew that the conversation shouldn't have occurred in the first place. She fired off at me…" I snickered, being able to find some humor in it "...as was appropriate. She has always been feisty. Right now, she is considering Demetri and made me very aware of it. I'm not the shrink here…" I cocked my eyebrow at the woman that could claim that honor "…but it would seem that to continue my suit would be highly disrespectful, arrogant, and bordering on controlling."

I admitted, "I've already been that with her, and we see where it got us. Bella was sedated for three days and then unconscious for another. She needed the time to heal. So did I. I'm not Superman; I needed to cry, Elizabeth. I skipped the first two stages of Kübler-Ross' model. I'm hovering between the bargaining and depression stage," I joked using some psycho-babble humor.

She coughed, turning to look out the broad windows of her office, over the lush garden she'd created. She'd done well with the milieu she was aiming for…I always felt a measure of peace in her therapy room. All good psychiatrists were trained to remain neutral, so when she finally had the "unacceptable" grin under control, she turned back to me.

"You know that most psychiatrists would label you a hostile client," she threw out.

"I know; which is why I was referred to you. You specialize in people like me…" I shrugged at her mock stare. But back to her question. "I would love nothing more than for Bella to tell me this has all been a big misunderstanding. The ball is in her court, but in the meantime, I have to prepare myself for the worst…to watch her with someone else."

Taking a drink of water, I continued letting her know of my return to the living. "I left messages for my family that I'm back home, and let Carlie know that my previous request not to tell anyone is null and void. Bella could reach me if she desires…I haven't received any phone calls."

"How do you feel about your father's decision to keep the surgery from you?"

The sound that came out was a cross between a groan and laughter. "Clinically, I understand. He is her doctor and bound by the rules. As his son, it cuts to the bone. I really don't know how to feel because I know he was being ethical, but I can't help how it hurts in here," I placed my hand over my heart. "Again, contrary to popular belief, I have learned some things over the years; one is to attempt not to just react. Had I spoken to my father at the time, or within the few days afterward, I'm afraid that I would have reacted instead of acted. It wouldn't have been fair to take my emotions out on him or anyone else. It may seem selfish on my part, but I needed to work through this on my own before I dealt with their reactions or needs."

"That is a healthy place for you to be, considering..." she replied. "So tonight…you'll see Bella?"

I breathed through the band around my chest. "Yes. Everyone will be there."

"And how does that realization feel for you?"

"It is wonderful…light, fluffy butterflies floating around me while I bask in the sunshine."

There was the "unacceptable" grin again. "You are a smart-ass; has anyone ever told you that before?"

"Many, many times over. My brothers have much more eloquent words than that though."

"Edward, I don't get the privilege of saying this to many individuals, but do you realize you don't need me anymore?"

"WHAT!" I barked out, literally standing in agitation. "You've got to be kidding me. I'm a seriously f'ed up…"

"Sit down," she directed, cutting my spew of words off. "I'm not saying that you don't need to see someone long term regarding your underlying lack of self-worth, but much of what you hold against yourself are things that happened long in the past. I won't argue the timing of your revelation to Ms. Swan could have been better; however, that was Ms. Swan's fault, not yours. You make day to day decisions that relate to life and death for individuals, and apparently you do that well if your practice is any indication. You are a loyal brother and son, even when you've been hurt. The women…you won't be using that fix any longer, because you can't stand it. You've been clean for many years, and the fact you wouldn't even take the pain killers is a sign of your apparently monstrous control. What else do you need my help with?"

"Me…I…I'm still… Elizabeth, please, not yet! Get me through the next few weeks…months. I know our original contract is almost up, but I would like to re-negotiate. Would you consider doing the deeper work? I'm going to need it."

She assessed me quietly. "Why do you think you are going to need it?"

"Maybe I worded that wrongly. I want to do it. I owe it to myself," I admitted to her, finally sitting, realizing that she hadn't moved, still the epitome of grace and poise.

"Very nice, Edward. If you'd said it was for your Bella, I was going to send you packing with a referral."

Shaking my head at the notion, I murmured. "She and I both deserve more than that. And, she isn't my Bella."

"Uh huh." She tapped the tablet, looking at future dates. Then she leveled me with her stare. "Every week, no skipping even when it's tough, or we're done. Understand?"

"Perfectly." I started getting excited. I trusted her, and the thought of starting over with someone else made me itch.

"What day is best for you?"

And with that, I made the plans I hope that would, over time, bring me a measure of peace.

~SOMP~

After putting the cuff links through the openings in my sleeves, I finally looked at myself in the mirror.

It seemed I'd looked at this face a million times over the years, but tonight I wondered what people really saw when they looked at me. Genetics had given me what most individuals focused upon, but the person that was Edward…not Anthony…I'd kept hidden, buried under a mountain of regrets. I hadn't allowed many to really know me, and I'd acknowledged during my time with Elizabeth that I'd been the biggest hindrance to my recovery.

Tonight, my daughter would perform before the toughest critics and against some of the most cutthroat competitors around. Tonight, I would see my family again, after spending days away from them, healing. Tonight, I would see Bella with Demetri. I would not be a hindrance to anyone, I swore. No longer.

For the first time in almost sixteen years, my eyes seemed clear, free from the anxiety and angst that had clouded them.

I was waxing poetic, I realized and grinned sarcastically at myself in the mirror as I reached over to grab the crutches. It was too bad that I'd have to hobble into the performance hall. It kinda ruined the whole new confidence thing.

~SOMP~

Moving through the crowd, I saw the paparazzi taking pictures of all the royalty of Seattle's music scene. Luckily, I'd gone unnoticed. So far, so good I thought until I saw a large group surrounding my family ahead. I stopped to observe the gathering that was comprised of Carlie's unique family, catching brief glimpses of the jewel toned dresses of my mother, sisters, daughter, and Love shimmering in the bright overhead lights, surrounded by the black rich fabrics of the tuxes of the men. The Velathri's mixed with them, an indefinable air about them, making them stand out as almost gods amongst the mortals. Aro smiled brilliantly at something, and it would be incredibly easy to perceive him as some dark lord presiding over us all.

Something caught Carlie's attention, and she looked in my direction. I saw her lips form my name from across the way, and several faces turned quickly toward me. Suddenly shy, I used the excuse of fitting my crutches back under my arms before I straightened to make my way to them. Afraid I'd fall if I saw Bella up closer, I focused on the angelic vision of our daughter. She smiled softly at me, as I completed the trip.

"Edward!" she said in a happy tone.

I started to reply, but as with everything else in my life…the sins of my past came back to haunt me just as I thought I'd gotten it together.

"Eddd…ward… Are you soore she's yur daughter and not another tart? I don't know many dergh ters that actually call their father's by ther names," a drunken voice called out.

Could I just cry?

"Tanya, keep your venom away from here," I snarled, turning to her.

She stumbled up, her arm linked through a man's that was not her husband.

"Where's Garrett?" I asked calmly, hoping against hope that we could resolve this meeting without a scene.

"How the hell should I know? He took my baby and disappeared?" Her rage caused her words to be perfectly dictated, but there was no doubt she was drunk. "Said I was unfit!"

She hadn't lost all the baby fat just yet, and unfortunately, she'd attempted to pour herself into what was most likely a pre-pregnancy dress. Even more unfortunate, it was bright red, and with her slur, equally red lipstick, and haphazardly styled hair, she was a beacon for the cameras. She was what most men would call a hot wreck. I just saw the pathetic creature she'd allowed herself to come. Several cameras flashed around us, but Tanya didn't care. She craved attention, in any way she could get it.

"I suggest we move into the practice room," Aro suggested to my side, having gained it. He wanted to control the scene before it turned ugly.

"Yes, somewhere more private," Demetri indicated, and I couldn't help but cut my eyes at him.

But then I saw Carlie's stunned face. NO! I'd said no hindrances tonight.

Tanya's date began to say something, but Felix stepped to his side and the man scurried away like a roach running from the light. Thankfully, my brothers did what I couldn't. Moving quickly to Tanya's side just as she began to spew at Aro, they grabbed her arms in a way that almost looked gentle, dragging her toward the door that Jane had opened. The look on her face told me that Tanya would die a slow painful death…if she had anything to do with it.

"Um…Carlie…I'll come get you when we need to be backstage," Dr. Kaminska said, before exiting. She was clearly unhappy with the thought that Carlie might be upset, but she wasn't going to stick around for the family drama.

"YOU Bastard!" Tanya threw out at Aro. "You told him didn't you? NO…" she stumbled when she jerked away from Emmett and Jasper "no…that would be too menial of a task for you. You just hired someone to slip him my past."

Aro's face remained calm, which wasn't uncommon. But, I knew somehow from the look on his face that he hadn't done anything. Most likely, he'd already determined that Garrett was onto his wife, and Aro had just allowed nature to run its course. I would have applauded his mastery, if she hadn't turned on me at that moment. I could feel the rest of the family just behind me, and hoped that Jacob and Demetri had Carlie and Bella as far away from us as possible.

"So you've decided to attempt to win the 'conniving bitch' back?" she gurgled out, and I heard Carlie gasp just behind me, dashing my hopes that she wouldn't be an upfront witness to this.

"Tanya, go home. Why did you even come here?"

"Oh…to see the Love Child. How priceless!" She cackled in unearthly glee, and I moved closer to her.

I'd never hurt a woman physically, but I wasn't above dragging her out of here if it would help. Somehow I'd make it work.

"Course, are you so sure she's really yours? Considering what a money hungry whore you thought her mother was…"

I groaned. She wasn't going to keep her mouth shut, and this wasn't the way I'd intended for Carlie to find out all that juicy information she was so determined to have. Carlie's second horrified gasp sounded the death knell on my hopes that this situation was anything but an impending disaster.

"Tanya!" I growled, stepping toward her.

Even in her drunkenness, she was faster than me on the crutches.

"What…don't want your darling daughter to know what you said about her mother?" She jumped to the side when I lunged at her. "How you went on about the faithless, fickle liar she was…" She moved again, but this time she waltzed toward Emmett who'd had enough. He reached to grab her, and Tanya snarled out and swung at him, slapping him across the cheek. The red imprint of her hand stood out in stark contrast to his angry white pallor. His eyes widened at the contact…I couldn't ever remember any of us being struck in reprimand by either of our parents…much less another person.

She made the mistake of backing right into my arms, but when I went to pull her away, she purposely brought her spike heel down onto my injured foot, tearing at the area where I'd removed the stitches. I could feel the wet warmth of my blood pouring from me, even through the pain. She jerked from me, using my distraction, but through my hazed vision, the most miraculous sight occurred before me.

Bella decked Tanya, knocking her to the floor and breaking her nose.

As the scarlet red blood oozed out of her, Tanya shrieked, having never expected to be hit herself, much less to be laid low. Bella knelt keeping her fists ready and hissed at our once 'cousin,'

"You have nothing further than the past to bring up, because that is where you live. Get out of here before I lose my temper and really hurt you!"

Tanya scampered across the floor to get away from the dark headed temptress that was My Love, but she didn't have enough sense to give it up. "Bitch!" she spit at Bella as she rose, blood from her nose splattering across the floor and down her face.

Before I could react, Bella was, to her, a beautiful Fury in a dark sapphire blue dress. "You have no idea just how much of a Bitch I can be," she said furiously.

The calculating look was back in Tanya's eyes. "I know all about you Bella Swan…best lay he ever had…consummate prostitute. Did you know he used to dream of you…call your name out. I made sure to comfort him of course," Tanya laughed in a maniacal way. "Such a dowdy little thing…"

"Did that hurt to hear him say my name instead of yours," Bella threw back, hitting Tanya with a barb well aimed.

Tanya's eyes flared wide. I hadn't known I'd talked about Bella…dreamed about her, yes. But, I'd seen the beautiful lines of Bella's exposed back tense at the insinuation that I'd called Bella dowdy. I'd NEVER said that... This was a scene from my worst nightmare. Pain or not, I was done with Tanya, and within a flash, I had her pinned to my chest, dragging her out even as she attempted to kick at the one crutch supporting me. Aro moved to join me, even as Emmett went to where Bella stood unmoving, her face a portrait in pain.

Luckily, Aro's "drivers" stood just outside, holding off the media at bay…and the one he called Santiago had no reservation about gagging Tanya. Of course, he made it look like he was holding a cloth to her bleeding nose in a caring manner, but her fury let me know it was far from the truth. Aro grinned in an eerie way, as she was carried across the still crowded floor and the cameras flashed…words like "drunk," "trash," and "high" following her wake. Tanya wouldn't be seen in a very good light in the newspapers the next day. Wherever Garrett was, I hoped he was far away…and that he'd think twice about the contact he allowed between her and her child. It was Tanya's time to face the music…just like it was mine. I couldn't imagine what Carlie thought, but I was afraid that it wasn't going to be good.

Upon entering the room, I saw that she stood by Bella, and instead of it being my daughter comforting her mother it was exactly opposite. Carlie had her hands on her mother's arms, as if she was hanging on by a thread, and Bella was comforting her, her hands to Carlie's cheeks.

When I moved to stand beside them, my worst fears were conformed, when Carlie rounded on me with more potent venom than Tanya had ever hoped to have.

"YOU SAID THOSE THINGS! ABOUT MY MAMA!" she screamed loud enough to be heard outside the walls.

Taking a deep breath, I acknowledged the accusation with a quick nod. Knowing what was coming, the numbness started creeping along my body, as if I'd been infused with some poison that was going to slowly torture me to death.

"GET OUT!" she screamed. "I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!" Bella, God love her, actually attempted to say something, but Carlie must have interpreted her mother's soft heart for what it was. "NO Mama! He doesn't deserve to be here, if that is how he felt. I'm sorry, I…I…didn't know. I thought…" she turned her sorrow filled eyes away from Bella to glare at me "…I thought he'd told me the truth about how he felt."

The black and white morals of youth…I'd fallen prey to them, and now my daughter was as well. She couldn't conceive that I'd loved or still loved her mother and could have been such a monster.

"Carlie…" Bella attempted to speak, her beautiful face turning to me for a moment. I didn't even know how to interpret her look.

"LEAVE! I can't stand the sight of you! " my daughter shouted at me, fury emanating from every pore of her body.

I took one last glance at the two beauties in front of me with a sense of impending doom before saying, "I will. Please, just calm down, Carlie. I'll go…I'm so sorry that I've ruined the night for you."

I'd seen movies before where something horrific happened and the individuals around the central one slowed down…like time standing still. It didn't happen that way for me. My imagination though did add in a mirage…Bella's hand reached out for me as I turned…but knowing it was only an illusion, I moved to where I'd dropped the other crutch. My father beat me to it, and his soft voice almost broke me, "Son…"

"Dad, no." I panted out, the pain of my daughter's hatred for me too new. I shook my head at him, tears barely contained, unable to handle a "talk" with him now. I squeezed his hand to let him know I wasn't mad and that we'd talk later before taking the crutch from him and making my way to the door. Alice waited there, and the sheen of tears in her eyes broke me. She had her purse in her hand, ready to leave with me, my comrade. We had to face the Devil together in a few days…she needed this.

"Alice…I'll be okay…please stay and record it," I begged, before I walked out and shut the door behind me. It sounded like a death toll…

I was struggling not to fall into despair, but I felt as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest…the black hole left in its wake swallowing me. Even through the pain, I realized the competition must have started, because I saw that many of the individuals were moving in the direction of the Hall, the cleaning men, clearly denoted by their uniforms, picking up trash.

I made it to the outside before I collapsed on a wall, pulling deep breaths into me for at least a minute before I could right myself. My heart hurt worse than my foot, and I placed my hand against it in reaction. Breaths wheezed in and out of me, as I remembered the horror and disgust in my daughter's eyes.

I wanted to curse at Tanya, but I couldn't. I was as much or more responsible for this mess because of what I'd said to Bella…and although she had received my apology, whether accepted or not, my daughter hadn't. The sound of crickets from the wooded area beside the hall echoed over me, but I took a few minutes to breathe deeply, looking for a center. I needed to go get stitches, my foot still bleeding within my shoe, but to contemplate leaving felt like I was running away.

But the question begged to be asked, how productive would it be if I forced my way back into the situation? Certainly the only thing I would gain would be Carlie's ire at the moment. However, the thought that I could sneak in and watch her worked insidiously through me. I might not get the chance to see this type of performance ever again, and I could only hope she could re-orient herself to the piece she was to perform. I felt pressure…as if I was being pulled back into the building in front of me. Across the way, I could see the door to the room where my family still waited through the large glass panes that had been utilized for the front wall of the large modern facility. They were there…waiting for me…it seemed. The pressure wasn't just to steal in, it was to go back and figure out a way to be a full part of the event. To not back down…

The feeling became overwhelming…almost imperative…as if something was demanding that I go back and stand up to the situation. The warring angels took over again, shouting suggestions as I continued to stare at the door separating me from my family. I was going crazy, I determined. But one realization suddenly solidified within me. Every time in the past I'd ignored the seemingly insurmountable urge to turn back…I'd regretted it. I'd felt it when I brutalized Bella in the cafeteria…I'd felt it when I'd woken half-way sober after her third phone call…just before I got drunk and high again to laugh about her to a disgusted Emmett. I'd felt it in the urgency to find her just before I'd read Anonymous' book. And now was no different…

_They need you,_ the voice echoed with urgency.

I shot off the wall and moved with determination back through the entrance and over the carpet I'd treaded before. I had no clue what I was going to say to Carlie to get her to understand and give me a chance this evening, but knew I had to try. Barely taking a moment to gain a deep breath, I grabbed the handle and pulled the door open quickly.

And walked into hell…

"Well, so nice of you to join us, Edward," the Devil murmured, as he pointed the gun in my direction. Dressed in the uniform of one of the cleaning crew, Glenn, my teenage "friend" and Alice's rapist grinned in twisted glee.

A quick glance away from him confirmed that Bella and Carlie; as well as, Alice and the other women were safely shielded by the others…Jake holding Bella and Leah, Seth towering over Carlie. Carlie's wide, shocked eyes looked at me from beside Seth's shoulder, and I could see the tear tracks in her makeup from where Tanya's words and my actions had upset her. Aro and Demetri had somehow made it closer to the door and were just feet from me and where I'd entered. Jasper had left Alice to Emmett, and he was but a foot from Demetri. I knew he was attempting to work his way forward in the hopes of taking the crazed man out.

Glenn must have come in and immediately pulled the weapon he'd acquired somewhere, because he was no match for the men of my family, particularly Jasper. Astonishment and fear warred within me. How had he gotten away from the prison, why hadn't we been called, and how had he gotten a weapon? More importantly, how did he find us?

_I've come to see the Love Child, _Tanya's words echoed through my mind. The damn paper!

Did it matter? Because, he was here and as psychotic as ever. I could see how it must have gone down, my family moving to the wall farthest away, the men placing themselves in front of the women in protection. Marcus held both his and Aro's wife at bay, but I could tell that Sulpicia Velathri was furious and scared in equal parts.

The fear was thick in the room, and I risked another glance to find Alice. Dark eyed, she appeared almost in shock, visibly shaking from I would guess both fear and rage.

As if sensing where my attention was, Glenn quickly looked to the group and smiled. The smile wasn't pretty, almost like a caricature of a skeleton…skin pulling back from his teeth almost in a snarl.

"Pretty Alice…" he false sottoed, and Jasper inched just a few inches closer. "Have you missed me, because I've missed you?" He seemed distracted by her for a moment, and I hesitantly took a step closer.

He snapped the black Glock back up, pointing it in my general direction, and thereby Aro's, Demetri's, and Jasper's standing several feet behind me.

"But you don't love me anymore, do you? You've moved on…I read." Gazing back at me wildly, his eyes seemed to jerk right and left quickly. "Maybe your daughter could be my girlfriend," he said to me, and I couldn't contain the growl that came out of my throat, taking a step forward against my better judgement.

He cackled at my reaction. "What? You don't like the idea of me touching your precious child? I won't hurt her!" His features twisted in a sick rendition of pleasure at the thought.

Glenn was certifiably crazy. Elizabeth would have utilized the correct DSM diagnosis, but the word "crazy" worked just fine for me. More importantly, he hated me with a passion, blaming me for ruining his plans, keeping him jailed, and destroying his family.

"I'll go with you wherever you want. Let the others go."

I heard several feminine moans of distress at my words. He looked over at the group attempting to determine just who'd made them, and his eye lit on Emmy. He smiled at her, and my control broke at his audacity.

"Glenn!" I half shouted, startling him and his attention away from her.

The gun was now aimed at my heart. A strange sense of peace stole over me. He'd only get one shot off before Jasper and I suspected Demetri would be on him.

"You have it all, don't you Edward! Money, looks, success…"

It was amazing he would focus on those things, because other than the lives I'd been able to save with my medical skills, they'd brought me little satisfaction in life. What was important to me was in this room under his psychotic control.

He moved the pistol to aim it at my face.

"What if I took it all away from you, like you did me?"

Perfect. He was focusing on me.

"It's what I plan to do, you know."

I planned to keep him talking, hoping that Jasper could get a straight shot at him, so I moved more in the way of Demetri and Aro, almost like I was stepping away from Glenn in fear of his words. His eyes glowed in amusement at what he saw as a coward's retreat. He followed me for several steps, putting him directly in front of the door.

The trick was to keep him talking, to give Jasper as much time as possible to develop his plan and implement it.

I started to say something to him, but as it often happens in life, it is the smallest thing that becomes the Devils' details. A simple knock at the door changed anything. Glenn jerked at the rap beside him, and I saw Demetri start to move. What he didn't know, that I did, was that Glenn was an excellent marksman…he'd won many awards…trophies he'd proudly displayed in his room. Glenn's sure aim came back, leveling it at My Love's choice.

All I could think, in that moment as life did slow down this time…the people around us moving in slow motion…all except the Devil, was NO! Bella would lose something else important in her life because of me. Pushing against the throbbing in my foot and dropping the crutches, I lunged for Glenn, knowing beyond hope that I was going to be too late. Demetri would die, and it would be my entire fault. Pain seared through me as something hit me in the chest and just a second later, the sound of a gun echoed through the room, the sound ringing in my ear.

Hitting the floor in a heap, I attempted to rise to get to him, but my body wouldn't obey me. Then as a searing agony spread through me, I wanted to scream, because more shots rang out. It grew hard to breathe, because I knew he'd been able to hit others. So it was through the darkening around me that I felt surprise when Glenn fell to the floor just a few feet in front of me, his eyes already glazing. He stared directly at me in hatred…an almost grin on his face as he saw my condition. I'd seen individuals die before on the operating table…I knew the look and watched as his life extinguished before me.

Chaos ensued, screaming, hoarse voices in command, and then hands turning me over. Demetri…he'd gotten to me first.

Panic spread within me about the other shots, until seeing my reaction he said, ""Everyone's okay!"

Relief so deep it almost was euphoric overwhelmed me, then I remembered something. I had just a second to tell him.

Couldn't breathe... had to cough…

Wheezing...liquid instead of air in my lungs…

Coughing out, I was able to manage two words as he pushed at my chest and pain threatened my consciousness….

"Make happy."

I saw his startled and alarmed eyes capture mine in disbelief. It was my last clear vision of this world as everything around me swirled into Van Gogh like blurs.

Heaven…many had described it, even a few who said they'd seen it and returned to the land of the living. But my version was very different. In mine, I'd made amends, freed my sister from fear by helping take out the Devil, let Bella know how wrong I'd been and that I'd loved her all along. I'd been able to see my daughter…my only regret being that I hadn't been able to tell her how sorry I was for how I'd treated her mother. Bella would tell her, I hoped. She wasn't one to hold grudges, and I knew with assurance that she would right the wrongs with Carlie so that my daughter would remember the few short weeks we'd shared with fondness over the years.

Peace…I'd found it.

So with that knowledge, I let go…sinking into the warm, inviting oblivion and was rewarded with the rest of my version of Heaven. Here…in this painless state, Bella whispered my name… "Edward" and Carlie called me "Daddy."

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><p><strong>I'm afraid to even ask for thoughts...<strong>


	32. SOMP Outtakes Chapters 26 through 31

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**Please note – many of these outtakes are unbetaed. All mistakes are mine! They cover the last few chapters of Sins of My Past.**

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><p><strong>Demetri POV Chapter 26 - Fences Outtake<strong>

The wind whipped around me, as I made my way to the car having seen my father and Isabella safely onto the plane. I felt a curious sense of loss seeing them load and then taxi off. My dad had squeezed my shoulder softly when Isabella wasn't listening, and he'd whispered a few words of warning, "Be very careful."

Careful…such an emotionally laden word.

Did he mean careful as in don't hurt her?

My father knew me, knew my merit. I would rather die than hurt Isabella. I was raised by a group of men who had morals that were as ancient as time itself. The women in our lives were God-like, meant to be cherished and coddled, given everything, wanting for nothing, their needs put above our own.

Or was he meaning that I needed to watch for the dangers around us?

For certainly, I'd let down my guard once and paid the ultimate price. I'd been so sure that Heidi had loved me as deeply as I'd loved her. So, when she'd insisted that she loved another and left…I'd let her go, too devastated to do much more. Too late I'd realized my mistake. Seduced by a much older, much wiser man, she'd stood little chance. Heidi had been a mere distraction for Stefan and when he'd let her know that, her pride hadn't allowed her to come to me, even though my parting words had been that I'd always be there for her. He'd laughed at her, told her she was worthless, nothing more than a play thing. The reports indicated that she'd died instantly from the fall. He'd claimed that she'd returned to his home and attempted to attack him and that he'd pushed her away.

No one had believed him…

Stefan Mircea had lived almost a year before he too fell from the balcony of his plush apartment. Unlike Heidi, he'd lived a while lying against the cold pavement.

Again, the men of my family had morals that were as ancient as time itself.

I think though that what my father meant was "be careful; this might just come around to bite you in the ass."

We hadn't fooled him.

Isabella was a beautiful woman, and I was extremely intrigued and entranced by her. Her humor, her wit, her loyalty, her intelligence…I'd have to be dead to not recognize the value of one Isabella Swan. When she'd told me the story about the joke on her old boyfriend, I'd lost part of my heart. Later that night, I'd realized that it would be all too easy to lose it all. She'd been caretaking my father as he grumped, and it was all so much like my mother and aunts that I faltered.

When he was finally sleeping soundly, she'd joined me on the couch, tucking her legs under her and curling up into my side. Absently, I'd plucked at the ends of her hair as I watched and we listened to the fire crackling.

"I had a wonderful evening," she said softly. "Thank you. I hope that I made a positive impression on your friends."

She was referring to several of my "business associates" and their wives that we'd met for dinner.

"Very much. I was the recipient of many envious stares, and I do believe that it is the first time that their wives have thawed around me. It didn't hurt that you're one of their favorite authors."

"Not theirs…their children's. There is a difference."

I'd chuckled at her assessment.

"Why do I get the impression you scare people, Demetri? "

Ha! She was too incredibly perceptive.

"Because I do. You'd be well advised to stay away from me," I'd growled out in a menacing tone, earning a poke in the ribs.

We'd sat and just talked for hours, and I'd enjoyed watching how adorable she was as she battled sleep, her yawns becoming more and more frequent until I'd finally insisted she go to bed. She'd done something then that had cracked the hard shell around my heart. Leaning over, she'd ruffled my hair and kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight Deme, sleep tight knowing that I'll protect you from all the matchmaking mamas and their bloodthirsty daughters."

Protect me indeed…how ironic that she should use those words.

Entering my apartment, I disengaged the high tech alarm system checking to see that nothing had been disturbed and that no one had hacked in over the night I'd been gone. Removing the guns that I kept strapped to my body, I stretched and heard the bones in my back crack from sleeping on the couch. Moving over to my computer, I powered it up along with the many components that surrounded it.

I had a lot of work to do, and as I began to track the information through the system I was currently hacking, I couldn't help the visions of a certain woman and the man that loved her from running through my mind.

Be careful indeed...

**Seth POV Chapter 27 – Light Outtake**

I watched Carlie as she watched Aunt Bella. It was a tossup as to which one of us was being more observant. I was less worried about my aunt than Carlie. Bella was a tough lady, she would survive any disappointments, but I wasn't so sure how Carlie would react if the surgery didn't work. Knowing that Dr. De Luca and her grandfather were supervising the process, she was placing a lot of hope on it, and I was afraid she was going to be disappointed.

After the day I'd stayed home sick with Aunt Bella, I'd wondered if she had ever consulted another doctor. I knew that the news she'd received that day hadn't been good, but the doctor had told her maybe in the future. So it would seem that Aunt Bella had finally decided it was time to take a chance. I wasn't surprised, but I was a little in awe. She'd seemed so disappointed that day, and I couldn't imagine what it must feel like to be told time and time again that something couldn't happen. It was exactly opposite of the lessons my dad, mom, and aunt had taught me…that nothing is impossible. I wasn't allowed to say the words "I quit." To not do well in this family meant that you'd attempted something multiple times before you accepted "that another strategy needed to be adopted." As many times as I'd heard it, I could almost mimic my dad's voice perfectly on that phrase.

Unfortunately, it seemed that eye surgery was one of those things that didn't conform to my dad's rules. There would be only a few options with it, and maybe that was why he was pacing like a caged animal before the windows. He didn't accept defeat well or easily; he was too competitive for that.

Finally, I was able to get Carlie to settle down with a full stomach beside Aunt Bella, and our wait began. The "tick tock" of the clock on the wall about drove me crazy. It was as if it was rushing me and us toward some unknown event. Unlike a lot of other kids, I wasn't in a hurry to grow up. My life and home were really, really good, and I wasn't chomping at the bit to leave. Just the fact that I looked older, having hit a freakish growth spurt this past year, was bad enough. I was constantly being confused for a high school student, but what could I say…my dad was like huge…bigger than big. The only person I knew who was larger was Dr. De Luca…or Felix as he liked me to call him. The man was massive and an amazing "American" football player.

He was so funny, informing me that soccer was the _real_ football.

It really was too bad that he and Aunt Bella had never hooked up. I could handle him as an uncle and one day father-in-law. I wasn't so sure though, even with his wit, if he would appreciate me calling him "Uncle Daddy." I had to fight to contain my chuckling, realizing that a bed-side vigil was probably not the place for my warped sense of humor.

Carlie glanced at me feeling the subtle jerking of my body as I attempted not to laugh. She narrowed her eyes slightly at me, but then just shrugged. She knew I would tell her later. We were just that way. I knew people thought it was just a stage, or that there was no possible way we'd stay together…but seriously, they just didn't understand our feelings. I could care less, because time would prove them wrong. Carlie and I were just different.

With our close ties, our family was just a little different…it had been even more so when Quil had attempted to date Aunt Bella. THAT had been fun. Dad had chased him away like a rabid dog, telling him that there was no way any of the pack was going to come "sniffing around her." I'd just been a kid, but even I could remember the fights. In the end, I came to believe that my dad and Quil just liked the brawls and resulting bruises and busted lips. Fighting was a sport among the large group of cousins and friends that my dad had grown up with. It was the same for me when I went to the Rez…my group the mostly slightly younger children of my dad's friends. Only my Cousin Daniel, Sam and Emily's son, was older than me. Such was the results of "youthful indiscretions" as my Grandfather Billy liked to say.

Youthful indiscretions… The words brought me back around to one of the more likely candidates for my "Uncle Daddy" position. Carlie's father.

We'd been to dinner with him a lot over the past weeks, and I knew that Carlie's thoughts were the same as mine. Edward loved Aunt Bella; Aunt Bella loved Edward, and the sooner the two just got over whatever was standing in between them the better.

Ironic that Aunt Bella would choose that exact time to say his name. Squeezing Carlie's hand, I secretly glanced around to see the reactions in the room. My dad froze and then snarled over at my mom. When Aunt Bella pleaded for Edward to wait…Mr. and Mrs. Cullen looked down in agony. Felix attempted a stoic look, but it failed…it was as if he was going to tear someone limb from limb.

Yeah, most would have thought Carlie and I were traitors, having little to no complaints with the idea that at some time Aunt Bella might forgive him. But honestly, we hadn't been around when all the shit hit the fan, so why would we carry grudges. I was worried that Carlie's ease at accepting him might be changed a little when she had her "talk" with him, because if I was assessing the man correctly, he was going to lay it all out on the line for her. And, I didn't think she was going to be too happy with what she heard. But, I had to give him props for being willing to be Carlie's punching bag.

Adults were funny, they thought that kids had less ability to forgive and forget. I think the popular words of wisdom were "you never knew how much time you had left." For me, it was more about had much time you did have…really, did you need to go through life hanging on to the past, or was it better just to enjoy the day and look to the future.

Wasn't that what all the teachers were always pounding down our throats…look to your future, plan for your future, save for your future?

Not once had I heard hang on to your past or dwell in the past.

Why they were determined to drag the past out and waste precious energy on it, I couldn't say. I knew it was all a big mess, there was no doubt, and I wasn't minimizing it, but all I'd seen come of the choices being made around Carlie and I was pain and tears. Didn't they realize how ironic it all seemed in light of their constant words to focus on the possibilities?

As Aunt Bella began to stir, I remembered an old proverb I'd heard one of the elders quote once…

You cannot see the future with tears in your eyes.

**Edward POV Chapter 30 – Orders Outtake**

"Bella!" My voice was strangled sounding, and to be honest, I was surprised it didn't squeak out like a teenager going through puberty.

Immediately, my hands shot to my hair and clothing to straighten them. I must've looked a mess, not having prepared for visitors, much less someone as important as her. Then I stopped, realizing it didn't matter for two reasons…one, Bella knew I was a mess, and two, she couldn't see the physical manifestation of it. The thought made me incredibly sad and regretful.

I took a few moments to gaze at her longingly, before I stumbled out, "Bella…I…" My hands shot to my hair again in agitation, but then I took a deep breath and looked back to her directly. What I wouldn't give to have her remove the glasses, so I could lose myself in her eyes. "Please come in, I wasn't expecting you. When security called, I thought Carlie…"

I broke off, realizing how idiotic I sounded. As a result of the emotions overwhelming me, my throat felt like it was closing up, and I nervously cleared it several times as I feasted upon her face. If there was anything positive to be had from her being blind, it was that I didn't have to attempt to control my emotions, I thought as I felt wave after wave of nervousness, sadness, desire, and love wash over me.

She still hadn't moved an inch or spoken, and I hesitantly said her name in question. It worked and she began moving forward. I danced nervously around her to shut the door before indicating, "My living room is directly ahead, the couch at about one o'clock, twenty or so feet in."

Following her, I had to restrain myself from touching her. I was quite aware she was capable of navigating the furnishings in my home, but I wanted to help. Common sense won out as I watched her like a hawk, and I clenched my fists to keep from committing a sin and despoiling her with my touch. "Would you like some water, juice, anything…" My voice belied the war within me.

"Water would be nice." The sound of her voice speaking to me in a normal, not hate filled, tone electrified me, making me almost break out in a sweat. Distraction…I needed a distraction. Water…get her water you fool! The angel screamed.

Using the excuse, I made my way into the kitchen breathing deeply the whole way to get control over my erratic behavior. She was here! She was here to talk! SHIT! I'd thought I would have time to mentally prepare myself.

The feel of the cold water roused me from the panic, but when I turned to see her sitting in my home, it came back full force…freezing me. I was going to screw this up! One of the single most important moments in my life and I was going to go down in a blaze of glory.

She was so beautiful…so competent and composed. It was as if being around me didn't affect her at all.

_Why should it, you idiot_.

_Just go! Don't squander the opportunity._

Taking a deep breath, I listened to the good angel and moved to her. Twisting the cap off of her water, I sat it beside her and then realized what I'd done. It was a habit; one so deeply ingrained in me that it had just happened without me thinking. Could I put it back on without her noticing, I wondered while I sat down on the ottoman, just eager to be near her if only for a few moments. The heat of her scorched me like the refining fires of a smelter, burning at the impurities I was littered with.

Taking a huge gulp of water in an attempt to extinguish some of the flames, I did as ordered. "Bella, I need to know if you are here to talk, or if there is another reason for your visit?" Whew! I waited in hopeful anticipation.

"I came to speak with you, but if this is a bad time?" She looked like she was about to rise.

"NO!" I automatically lunged up. I'd messed up being too direct. I needed to get her to stay so that she would listen. Then I realized what I'd done. I looked like some warden attempting to corral a wayward prisoner. This was Bella's choice. Making myself sit down was difficult, and I almost doused my shirt as I took another drink of water. Thank God she couldn't see how bad my hands were shaking. "No, please stay. I just didn't know the purpose of your visit. I thought you were Carlie. She cancelled on me saying that you had some big plans this weekend."

Most likely plans with Demetri, I thought and pain lanced through me. I had to turn away to compose myself before I turned back, the jealousy eating me alive. "It's early. Are you hungry? I can fix you an omelet or…"

"Thank you, but I'm fine."

I detected a quiet tremor in her voice, and I realized it could mean a myriad of things. My guess was that she was just being polite and wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible.

_Wouldn't you?_ The demon shouted.

_But she's here now. _Hope whisphered.

I didn't deserve the opportunity at hand, I didn't deserve to breathe the same air as the woman sitting in front of me, and I certainly didn't deserve another chance, which was what I most wanted. All I could do was try. It was a good decision, and I found myself nodding when I made it.

"Thank you."

"For?"

She cocked her head adorably, and for a moment, I was distracted. It was a quizzical look I'd seen a million times in my dreams. The thought agitated me, and I realized I was wringing the bottle in reaction.

"Coming…I can't tell you what it means to me. Bella, if you would allow me, I would like to tell you about what happened, of how I screwed up."

"Anthony…"

NO! Please…don't… I wanted to scream, and realized I'd jerked instead. I wanted her to call me Edward.

"Aro has already filled me in on most of it, of what happened to Alice and your family afterwards. Jake and Leah saw the photos and described them to me."

"What!" My hands flew to my hair again, and I wanted to growl out in fury at the reaction. Aro had told her…

"He…retrieved a copy. I know what happened to you afterward, and that you didn't know about Charlie or Carlie. The past is the past, and we don't have to relive it. Let us move on from here and decide what to do about our child, because isn't that what this is all about…building a future for Carlie."

I had to lower my head to my knees in order to regain my equilibrium. I seriously believed I might vomit, so great was the pain that sliced through me. She still thought this was about our child! Forcing myself to look back at her, I revealed, "Bella, no…that isn't what this is all about, although us getting along for Carlie's sake is something I hope we can do."

Here goes. I made myself sit straight and take several deep breaths before I began. I desired to watch her eyes while we spoke, but was forestalled. Moving a few inches closer, I bared my soul, telling her of what I'd done.

"Anthony…"

"PLEASE…" I lost it, the sound of that name too much. My heart ached, searing me with liquid fire as the blood it pumped burned through me. I pressed at my chest hoping to stop the feeling, but it was useless. I'd scared her…idiot! Drawing on every reserve I had, I calmed marginally. "Please don't call…" Then I stopped with the incredibility of what I'd been about to ask.

_You don't have the right to request her to call you by name any longer_.

Only she will come to that conclusion, my conscious ruled. Instead, I went further with what needed to be said. God, I was so tired, and not just physically, although that was bad enough. Hearing my own words, I realized just how trite they sounded. Nothing I could say would ever be enough to render my excuses, to accurately portray the despair I felt at what I'd done. It wasn't going to work; I'd done too much. The hands I held in front of me might as well be covered in blood. As it was, I was disgusted to think of the women I'd touched…tainted. "Touching Tanya Denali was a mistake, only eclipsed by believing her in the first place. I would wipe the mistakes from the past if I could…but I can't."

My throat felt like it was closing in on me, and my heart started racing. Need to breath deep! I warned myself. The water actually helped…at least the little I got into my throat.

"It took me several years to clean up, but when I did, I couldn't hide from the cold, gnawing feeling inside me. I knew that you were innocent long before Tanya's little revelation…" Her gasp was like a barbed arrow into my heart, and the burn there was as if it had been coated in poison somehow and that said poison was pumping into my body killing me. "…but I wouldn't let myself think about it. Just because I was free from the crap I took in my attempts to forget you, didn't mean I was ready to face you."

"What do you mean?" she said hoarsely.

"I can barely hold myself together to speak with you now. Can you imagine what it would have been like then, when I couldn't even stand without shaking? When Tanya finally fessed up, I knew my time was at hand." It had been so difficult, knowing that I needed to face her, knowing I'd been a fool. I watched in fascination as water droplets hit the floor. What would Bella think if she could see the wreck I'd allowed myself to become.

"Aro indicated that you hired a Private Investigator." Her words pulled me back in, and I looked to the woman I loved beyond all hope and reality. She sat just mere inches from me, but no greater divide had there ever been.

"Yes."

How did I explain? How did you tell someone when deep down within your blackened, almost non-existent soul that for once you knew something with such clarity that it was indisputable. Maybe if I just shared with her…

"Bella, I need to get something, okay? I'll be right back."

I raced to my bedroom, picking up the book I kept on my side table. It was falling apart, and I really needed to get a new one, but the margins on this original copy had my reactions penned in…it was like a journal of my progression and secret thoughts to her as I'd read the words that spoke so deeply to my soul. The tape holding it together would just have to last a little longer. Perhaps now that I had the chance…Bella might listen instead. Just a few inches closer, I told myself…I needed just to be closer, so I surreptitiously pulled the ottoman toward her. Desire pulsed through me, and I wondered if she even felt it anymore…

Would she, the only person more a bookworm than me, find it ironic that a book had helped me find a backbone?

"Why did you call the PI off?"

I dreaded to hear her answer to the question I wanted to propose instead. It would tell me clearly where I stood, and I was already fairly certain where that was. Acid pooled in my stomach. "Can I ask you a question, Bella?"

Her shrug was blasé.

"Has there been anything positive come out of me returning into your life?"

"Carlie is ecstatic. She is absolutely in love with you and your family. How can you question that?" Couldn't he see how much they meant to her already?

AARGH! She wasn't getting it, and I was so tongue tied around her that I wasn't being clear. "No you, Bella. Has there been anything positive that came out of me coming back into your life? Anything at all?"

Silence reigned as the truth hit her. Nothing…there was nothing positive I could bring into her life

"Exactly."

The moment was horrific… So my life came to this, knowing that I'd done so much damage that nothing I could ever do would make up for it. Tears overwhelmed me, and I actually turned away from her…even in her blindness. Because, I didn't deserve the tears, much less in front of her, whether or not she could see them. She was the one that deserved to cry them I buckets.

Her sob when I mentioned Charlie had me reaching for her before I knew what I was doing, but reason returned just before I would touch her. I couldn't help but stare at the patch of skin I would have touch, dream of touching it, seeing if she was as soft as I remembered. Even though electricity seemed to arc from her skin to my fingertips, I knew that I couldn't. I didn't have the right, so I had to clench my fists to stop the unbearable need.

"Once I'd let go of the figurative bonds I'd placed around me, I couldn't focus, I couldn't breathe, all I wanted to do was find you and make sure you were okay. To know that Charlie hadn't been there…" I cursed thinking of the man Bella's father had been, and that he'd been lost too soon. "Finally, my secretary made me go to lunch, telling me that I was driving her crazy and that she would call me if anything further came in. Needing the fresh air, I decided to walk to one of the local sidewalk cafes, passing a bookstore on the way. I found myself walking in, in need of a distraction, and knowing that I would probably absorb only about a tenth of what I was reading, I hastily picked up the latest "hot" book, that was on display, grabbed a sandwich, and went back to the office. Seeing the scowl on Miranda's face, I buried myself inside and began to read…hoping to keep myself from going crazy or being murdered by my assistant." I couldn't help but smirk, remembering how ferocious she'd been, actually snarling at me when I'd come out of my office for probably the tenth time inquiring about any faxes. I missed Miranda, but I'd understood when she wanted to be home with her grandchildren. She was a spitfire. Speaking of another spitfire…

"The book was amazing, and I couldn't help but get caught up in the message of eventual forgiveness and letting go. By the end of the day, I knew I'd made a horrible mistake."

And then I read her the dedication…the words that had spoken to me, to my soul…almost as if they'd been written for me and admitted to why I'd done what I'd done.

"The women were my sick way of addressing the physical ache to be with you, but it never really worked, and I feel less about myself than I ever thought possible because of it. I was disrespectful…my actions were just another horrendous mistake after another. I saw your face, not theirs."

The admission made me sick, the taste in my mouth more bitter than anything I'd ever experienced. A small wheeze alerted me to her distress, and I died a little when I saw tears running down her face. She seemed frozen.

"Bella, breathe!" I shouted, afraid she was going to actually pass out. I couldn't tear my eyes from her until I saw her take several deep breaths. Her skin was so pale, that I could visually see the artery in her neck slow.

"Why…why are you telling me this?" She was shocked and angry.

I opened my mouth to tell her, but froze, the weight of the world on my shoulders, fear eating at my insides, love and longing filling my heart. I needed to know…."I don't really have the right to ask, but Demetri…is it serious?"

"He makes me…happy."

He makes me happy. Such simple words, but ones that told me more than she knew. He makes me happy, and you can't. The import of the words hit me, and I tried not to fold in on myself. As it was, I moved back from her slightly, afraid that she would feel my violent shaking.

"Why are you telling me this?" she growled out at me.

"It isn't important, Bella." I had to close my eyes against the tide wave that threatened to overwhelm me. She deserved happiness. "Would you please consider accepting my heartfelt apology?"

"WHY!" She screamed at me, jarring me from my agony.

Rational thought fled, and I responded solely on my feelings, desires, and dreams. "Because I hoped to see if we might be able to start again, to see if you might give me another chance at us. I love you, Bella. I always have, and I always will…"

**Demetri POV Chapter 31 – Peace Outtake**

"You have it all, don't you Edward! Money, looks, success…" The predator said, high on the control he had over us.

For most of these individuals, the cruelty they thrived on was really about dominating their victims…deriving pleasure from being able to control, manipulate, and mutilate. It was usually based on a deep need not addressed in childhood, but sometimes it was wiring that had just gone wrong. My mentors…they'd done their job though, because I looked for the foundations of behavior in every living, breathing parasite I studied…dissecting their minds, hunting, and tracking them.

I wanted to scream when he moved the gun to point it at Edward's face. This monster had no hesitancy in destroying the man in front of me. In fact, that was his plan. I'd been so distracted by Carlie's horror at what she'd said to her father and her pleas for someone to go find him that I hadn't paid attention to the man who'd entered the room. Had I, I would have known right away that he was trouble. It was all in the eyes…his were dead.

"What if I took it all away from you, like you did me? It's what I plan to do, you know."

And he did, he planned to kill Edward as a way of making Edward pay penance for ruining his perfect plan. Sexual predators liked attention; they liked seeing their monikers in print or to hear how law enforcement officers were looking for them. They loved to bathe in the glory…as long as they didn't get caught. I was tracking one now across the wires of the internet. I was closing in, and I would make sure that my bosses had what it took to take him down. But the monster in front of us, he should be under control already. Someone was going to fry for this…just as soon as I could figure out how to get to my gun and kill him.

Edward moved in front of me, making part of my job, surreptitiously getting to my shoulder holster, easier, but at the same time making the rest more difficult. He was almost directly in front of me, which was going to make it more difficult to get a clear shot.

Edward was being smart, he was keeping the man talking, and I would bet he was doing it to give his brother-in-law a chance to figure out a plan. The man was packing as well, but the one that concerned me was his wife. She already had her .38 snub-nose out of her fancy purse, and she was attempting to work around her brother's large arms. The woman was going to kill the monster. It was simply a guess as to who was going to get to whom first.

The knock signaled the end of our time…it was up, and I didn't have my gun unholstered yet…a moving target was far harder to hit, so I dodged slightly to get around Edward and realized in horror that he saw my movement and purposely threw himself in front of me. Dread settled within me when I saw the blood spray and Edward's body drop to the floor. Three separate shots rang out before the monster's body spun in a grim parody of dance and fell ungracefully to the carpet, facing Edward.

Then chaos ensued as I dove to the floor, throwing my gun to the side, and turned Edward over. Red frothy blood oozed from him, and I didn't have to be Felix to know that the man had punctured a lung.

His eyes were wild, and I knew as clearly as I knew my name what he wanted to know. "Everyone's okay!"

Relief almost overwhelmed the pain evident on his face, before he began coughing, blood coming out of his lips. FUCK! Where were Felix and his father?

I heard them then, running across the floor and put my hand over the wound, hoping to staunch the flow. His next move stunned me.

"Make happy." He forced out, the words breathy, lacking volume. His eyes closed just a bare moment before his father landed on his knees beside me.

Carlie and Bella were right behind Carlisle, Bella screaming his name, Carlie calling out to him as they inelegantly fell to the floor on the other side of his sprawled body, the blood that had seeped from him onto the floor already marring the fine silks of their gowns. Carlie's face was deathly pale, and I would imagine she was thinking of the last words she'd screamed at him. _I can't stand the sight of you!_

"EDWARD!" Carlisle shouted along with them, losing his cool for a moment. It was understandable.

_Make happy._

Felix had to push Carlisle to the side, the older man's hands frozen for just a moment. Then he shook as if a great force had hit him, and he too dove into action. Jasper moved quickly and pulled a knife from his pants, the tux and shirt quickly disappearing as I heard Rosalie's scared voice call 911.

"A shooting, one dead…another critical," she said before giving the address.

"Need something to cover the wound!" Felix called out, and the sound of ripping material came from around us.

Over the top of it all, I could hear his mother sobbing, clinging to his older brother. Emmett restrained her; otherwise I knew she would've thrown herself over him…as if it would help to keep him from dying. I was afraid that they were too late, but what was I to know.

_Make happy._

Well, I knew one thing. His words hadn't been an order, as if he would come back from the grave to haunt me if I didn't make her happy. They'd been simply a statement. Edward Cullen had thrown himself in front of me, believing I was the one who could make Isabella happy.

Stupid man.

He was the only one that could do that.

Brave man.

I'd learned a lot about bullet trajectories in my training, and it was without a doubt he'd saved my life. I'd been foolish to jump forward without my weapon drawn, and the dead man across the carpet had been a good aim. The 40 caliber bullet that had destroyed Edward's lung would have torn my heart out.

Dead man.

I feared.

**Seth POV Chapter 31 – Peace Outtake**

"Seth…" she sobbed "…you gotta go get him. I didn't mean it. I was being stupid; the words just kinda came out. He told me he'd been cruel, he didn't lie…" She blew her nose into the napkin that Aunt Bella had gotten her. "Please!" she begged me, Aro, and every other person around her.

I was afraid he was gone; it had been a few minutes already. Minutes in which Carlisle had considered leaving to go to his son, but was torn when his granddaughter grabbed him by the sleeve and pleaded with him to understand that she'd been wrong to say what she did.

"I'll go," both Aro and Demetri said at the same time, beginning across the floor, Jasper following them.

"Seth…I was so horrible…" she repeated, hiccupping directly afterward.

I knew her dad was going to forgive her, so I wasn't as upset, but seeing her crying was killing me. He, of all people, knew exactly how quickly words could get out of control when emotions were riding high.

The words spoken gruffly caught all our attention. "Forgive the interruption, but no one is going anywhere."

I turned to find a man holding a gun out toward us, and without thought spun Carlie behind me, seeing my dad do the same for Aunt Bella and my mom. We'd all been standing around the sobbing Carlie attempting to calm her, so as the other men did the same for the women, we ended up in a tight group, the men in front. From the corner of my eye, I saw Carlie's Aunt Alice freeze and the tightening of Emmett's body. Something was wrong here…

I watched the next few minutes with morbid interest, torn when Carlie's father came back through the door. It spoke to me of his tenacity. Not many men would have come back after the dressing down his daughter gave him. But as I realized just who held the gun, the curiosity turned to dread, and I feared this wasn't going to end well. Edward wasn't going to allow anyone to harm Carlie, but I feared he didn't have such a sense of self-preservation.

The gunshot echoed around the room, quickly followed by three more. Alice's arm was eerily steady after she discharged her gun, only slowly lowering her arm when the man fell, then and only then did she drop her weapon. Her eyes were glued to her brother, but it was as if she was frozen.

Carlie and Aunt Bella weren't, tearing from my father and me to get to the man lying lifeless on the floor.

As Carlie screamed out "Daddy" to him, I saw my own father start to cry. I knew it wasn't because Carlie had used the words toward her biological father…I was betting it was because he believed that Edward would never hear it.

**Jacob POV Chapter 31 – Peace Outtake**

"Daddy!" Carlie screamed over and over, and I saw that she was becoming hysterical as Carlisle and Felix worked over him.

Where was the damn ambulance!

Carlie kept grabbing at his arm, which lay lifelessly beside him. Bella was bent over, her mouth to his ear, whispering words that no one could hear.

"Daddy, please!" my baby pleaded, and I couldn't take her pain any longer. Pulling Leah with me, we closed the last few feet. I went to the floor, pulling her into my lap, staying close enough for her to hold onto him.

Her green eyes turned to me, pleading. "He's going to be okay, right?"

"_Daddy can you fix my bike, the tire is flat? Daddy, my fish died, can you help me bury him? Daddy, a boy at school pulled my hair; can you teach me to deck him? Daddy…why are you so mad at Seth and me? Daddy, Mama…has she ever wondered what I looked like?"_

So many questions I'd been asked by the precious child in my lap, and for every other one I'd had an answer.

"I don't know Baby. I don't know…"

**Alice POV Chapter 31 – Peace Outtake**

The recoil of the gun felt like I snapped a chain from around me. Seeing the blossoming of red across my enemy's chest, I prayed my bullet was the one that had made it. Even in my frozen condition, I saw Jas lower his gun, Demetri throwing his to the floor as he knelt at Edward's side.

I couldn't move…the fear holding me frozen in place. There was no room for me beside my brother, our mother screaming in Emmett's arms just feet from him. As the others rushed forward, I did all I knew to do and fell to my knees.

"Dear God, please…"

Here I was hoping I was a murderer, so I wasn't so sure He'd listen.

"…my brother, he isn't the most perfect man, but he's perfect for us. Please…"

A presence appeared at my side, and I realized that Rosalie had joined me. She knocked the pistol I'd used away from us and grabbed my hand.

"God, he's a good person, and they…they've just found each other again," she added.

We both looked up to see Bella still leaning over him, her long brown hair obscuring his face.

"Lord, it will kill them both," Rosalie murmured. "Just one more chance, please!" Her voice shook, and we both dissolved into tears.

Our enemy was dead, and it would seem that Bella wanted him…he had everything to live for, but I wondered if he knew it.

Sulpicia, Athenodora, and Didyme Velathri made their way toward us. All three elegantly bowed to their knees beside us and made the sign of the cross.

Her fingers mimicking rosary beads, Sulpicia murmured, "Thou didst expire, Lord Jesus, but the source of life gushed forth for souls, and the ocean of mercy opened up for the whole world. O Fount of life, unfathomable Divine Mercy, envelop the whole world and empty Thyself out upon us."

I knew little about the Catholic faith, but the cadence of her sister-in-laws' voice as they answered gave me focus. As they completed the prayer that I was sure had been murmured for decades, me and my slightly less religious sister-in-law continued to murmur our own pleas.

**Jasper POV Chapter 31 – Peace Outtake**

Damnit, Damnit, Damnit! I wanted to scream. Not here, not now!

Carlisle and Felix worked frantically over Edward, attempting to staunch the flow of blood and keep him breathing.

I heard the siren and knew the police were arriving and prayed the ambulance wasn't far behind. Jane Velathri stood over the piece of trash that had most likely robbed our family of happiness again, and I quickly joined her. She shook her head indicating that he was dead, before pointing to three wounds - one to the heart, one to the shoulder, and one to the chest. Alice, Demetri, and I were going to be under investigation, but only shortly. It was a clear cut case of self defense. Jane was already taking her ID out of her purse, ready to be the spokesperson for us. I wondered what the cops would think about a Fed's involvement in this mess.

I barely kept myself from kicking the body, forcing myself to turn instead to watch the scene in front of me.

As despair overwhelmed me, and I began to realize the loss we were facing, one thought became clear. I'd failed! My job was to keep them safe. Edward had been moving to give me a clean shot, but I hadn't been able to get it. He wouldn't hold me responsible though, it wasn't his style.

"Stuff it Jasper! I don't need your words of reprimand; I'm a grown man," he'd said as he opened the suite door to Emmett and me earlier in the day. "You aren't my keeper, and you aren't responsible for me."

He should've known that his quick message of "I'm fine and at home" wasn't going to be sufficient. Emmett had barely refrained from strangling him and actually growled as he bypassed his crutch-bound brother.

What had ensued was an amazingly heartfelt talk, as Edward told us of what had occurred and how he'd reacted. He was incredibly centered and clear, and I wanted to find Dr. Paschal and kiss her hand when he admitted to Em and me that he'd been seeing someone to help him with his "issues." Emmett had stared at him, and Edward had met his brother's gaze directly and without artifice. As if he saw something he liked, Emmet had risen, grabbing Edward into a hug, before resorting to more manly behavior and shoving him in the chest lightly.

"Next time you need some 'time alone,' just say so," Emmett teased his brother as we began to leave. "I can't handle much more of this drama, Edward."

"Don't worry, Em. Tonight will be drama free. I'll promise to be as quiet as a church mouse."

Unfortunately, Edward was being true to his word. I saw Carlisle's panicked face and feared the worst as he leapt up and began giving Edward CPR, Felix holding the wound tightly. Esme's screams echoed around the hall and out the door where a crowd was forming. Things were taking a turn for the worse, and for once, just once, I wished my brother-in-law would break that honor clad word of his.

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><p><strong>Thoughts…<strong>


	33. Directives

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinies for pre-reading and betaing this. **

**I'll be posting the rest of the family's outtakes after this.**

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**http:/shimmerawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/**

**Please visit my comments below for my thoughts on some questions being asked of me! ;) I'm posting this early this week, because my hubby is making me take the weekend off...**

**If you want to wait to Sunday to read...stop here. HA!**

**By the way...I rarely tell you what I'm listening to as I write...but if you want to know...my musical dedication for this chapter: Gavin DeGraw - Not Over You. Listen to it as you read.**

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

Keer…Keee. Beep. Beep. Keer...Keee. Beep. Beep.

The monotonous sound of the machines would have driven me crazy…save for the fact that they were the only things keeping Edward alive.

The sheets of Edward's hospital bed were plastered to my cheek, and I knew that I needed to get up and wake Carlisle. I'd rested my head near Edward's hand…leaning over from the chair I'd pulled to his side. I hated to wake Carlisle, but I reluctantly pushed myself up and put on my glasses. He was stretched out and sleeping deeply on the fold out cot across the room. He'd insisted that Esme and Carlie take the two couches in the attached family area, instead asking one of the technicians to bring a cot into the room with Edward and me. The staff had scurried to honor his request. I was just learning the dedication of the staff to the Cullens…the employees doing everything to make us comfortable. We hadn't needed to go to the cafeteria for a thing…homemade meals appearing for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I didn't think there had been a ten minute break from someone stopping by to check on Edward.

Carlisle had to be tired, having been in the room as they did surgery and then remaining by Edward's side as he crashed two more times. Carlisle looked peaceful in his exhausted sleep, and it was amazing how much of Edward I could see in him. He'd forced me to rest, giving me sedatives…claiming my eyes were in danger and how Edward wouldn't want to wake up and find that I'd done damage. In effect, he'd guilt tripped me.

Memories of the moment the gun went off overwhelmed me, and I wrapped my arms around my chest at the agony. The horror of seeing the man pointing a gun at Edward…knowing that it might be the end, and that I hadn't even been able to tell him…to speak with him. The terror of hearing the gun echo and seeing the red appear on Edward's shirt…seeing him fall in slow motion as I attempted to jerk away from Jake. Screaming even as more gunfire erupted; the man falling to the floor and having to fight the shock to run toward Edward. NO! My feet couldn't move fast enough… all the emotions overwhelming me as I stumbled across the miles that seemed to separate me from him. So many miles…misunderstanding, mistimings, mistakes, missed opportunities…

I could still feel his blood on my hands, the shudders I'd felt as the warmth of it soaked into the dress I'd been wearing, the metallic smell of it. The flow of words I'd spoken to him while Carlisle and Felix worked to give him emergency care had been a jumble of illogical thoughts and emotions…just anything to get through to him…to tell him to fight. When they'd pulled him away from me to place him on the gurney…I'd felt as if a part of me was being torn away. I was a blubbering mess when we arrived at the hospital, fighting against everyone to get to him…until Jake had captured me in his arms and spoke harshly to me.

"Bella, straighten up! You have to get it together, or they'll put you under medical care as well."

His straight forward attitude had been the only thing to pierce the heavy blanket of grief and terror. Leah's compassion as she took me to the chapel to pray had been my salvation. Carlisle, though, when he'd come to see us had been my grace.

"He's made it through the surgery, thank God." He'd squeezed my hand and winked at me.

No, I was going to let Carlisle sleep a little longer…he needed it. A hospital was a difficult place to rest. For certain, I was sick of this place even considering how well we were being treated. They might as well call this section the Bella Swan ward between all the visits I'd made over the last few weeks.

Turning back to Edward's bed, I tried to control the sob that threatened to overwhelm me. But for the rise and fall of his chest, he remained totally still, death-like. His eyes were taped shut, an endotracheal tube secured in his mouth so that the ventilator could do the work for him. But at least the chest tube that had been used to re-inflate his lung had been removed.

There was little I could do for him, but it made me feel good to sit by his side. I reached over to the small side table and picked up the Carmex, prepared to place some on his lips to keep them from cracking, but when I touched him, he felt as cold as ice, and I panicked for a moment, believing the worst.

But the beep, beep of the heart monitor chimed, breaking through the panic, and I saw that the blankets had slid down again. Pulling them up to snug them around him, I moved to my original plan, skimming my finger tip through the thick balm and swiping it across his dry lips. His hair stood up in unruly tuffs, and I took the moment to run my fingers through it, attempting to give it some order. It was a futile effort, but it made me feel better.

Even in the earliest days of my blindness, I'd never felt as useless as I had in the past two days. The medics had rushed into the room just after the police, and as Demetri, Jasper, and Alice were taken into custody for questioning, they had quickly transported Edward away from Carlie, me, and all the rest of the family. Carlisle had been the only one allowed in the ambulance, and the rest of us raced behind them…the only exceptions being Aro, Jane, and Marcus who went to the police station to free our defenders. That ended up being more difficult than expected due to Demetri's and Jane's credentials. The Federal Bureau of Investigation had to debrief them, to determine whether or not they'd acted inappropriately. It was only then that Demetri had admitted to me the exact nature of his job. I found it fascinating that he led a double life, but I knew I wouldn't be able to know much more. His superiors had run interference and luckily his "cover" hadn't been blown. I was grateful that the events that unfolded didn't mean that he would have to move again, as I knew how much his relocation to Seattle meant to his parents.

"Don't worry, Isabella…I'll still be around to watch you wrap Mr. Cullen around your finger," he'd teased, finding me crying in the hallway after one of Edward's "crashes."

"Deme…"

"Hush, he will make it; I just know it."

We'd had to admit to everyone our false ploy then, and I expected anger from the Cullens and Velathris. His family had just shook their heads…it would seem we hadn't fooled them much. Relief and hope so potent had washed across Carlisle's face that I'd almost sobbed again.

"I'm sorr…" I'd begun to apologize to them, but Emmett had just shouted in glee, drowning out my words and dragging me into one of his bear hugs.

Jasper and Alice, coming directly from being released from jail, had arrived shortly afterwards, and to give them time with their brother, I'd exited…taking a walk around the halls to stretch the kinks out.

It was then I'd met one of Edward's staunchest supporters.

~SOMP~

"Miss?" a little girl's voice captured my scattered thoughts.

I looked up to see a pretty red headed, green eyed, little girl, sitting in a wheelchair beside a large window overlooking a garden. She was waving at me to gather my attention. She had bandaging on her left leg that incorporated much of the limb. A huge smile spread across her face when I turned to her, and I noticed the scaring there and wondered about the cause.

"Hi," I said, already totally infatuated by her.

"I'm Samantha, but everyone calls me Sam."

"It's nice to meet you Sam. My name is Bella," I said, holding my hand out to her. If there was one thing I'd learned being around children, they loved to be acknowledged in adult like manners.

"I'm six, or at least I will be next week."

"Ah…a very important birthday."

It always amazed me that children felt the need to tell someone their age right up front. I was already reaching the age that I wanted to hide mine.

"Are you part of Dr. Cullen's family?" she asked quickly.

I was a little tongue tied as to how to answer, but I assumed the right through Carlie…so I answered, "Yes, I am."

"Is he okay?" she asked, and it was then I realized she was speaking of Edward, not Carlisle.

My fear must have shown, because her face fell.

"He has to be," she continued. "I'm gonna ask him to be my daddy," she announced, stunning me.

I sat down at that, taking up the seat beside her.

"My mama is gone."

I couldn't make my mouth work. The funny thing…I could see him taking her home.

"Can you take me to see him?" she asked, just as I saw two nurses heading our way. She turned to judge how far away they were while waiting on the answer.

"I'll do my best," I conspired with her.

"Thanks!" she chimed.

"Sam, it's time for physical therapy," one of the nurses said softly. "Ms. Swan," she said acknowledging me.

Sam had grimaced at the announcement of where she was headed, but she grinned at me as she was rolled away.

"Poor kid…they can't find her mother or her family. Best account, she left Sam with the man that hurt her when she was a baby, so I'm not so sure it's a bad thing. Our princess doesn't want to go into foster care." She grinned down the hallway. "She's in love with Anthony; he's her hero."

I could see that.

~SOMP~

A knock at the door brought me out of my memories and woke Carlisle. He groaned moving from the uncomfortable cot, and then seeing the clock glared at me.

"You were supposed to wake me hours ago, so that you could rest," he growled out at me, even as I walked to the door.

"You needed the sleep," I told him nonchalantly, unwilling to engage in an argument with him.

I couldn't be more surprised to find the Cullen's lawyer standing in the hallway.

"Come in," I offered, stepping aside so that he could see Carlisle. "Just let me throw on some shoes and brush my hair, and I'll give you two some privacy," I offered.

"Actually, Ms. Swan, I'm here to see you," he said, surprising me. "However, I would suggest that Carlisle stay for the conversation as well," he indicated.

My eyes cut to Carlisle, but he was fully focused on Mr. Jenks, so I was unable to read him. Jenks looked toward the bed, seeing Edward, and seemed extremely uncomfortable.

"Let me…um…freshen up a moment, and I'll be with you."

As I washed my face and then brushed my teeth and hair, I wondered what the lawyer would have to speak to me about. My curiosity was quickly answered when Jenks pulled out several folders and placed them in front of me. Carlisle had sat at my side on the couch, so Jenks faced us both.

"When Anthony found out about you and Carlie, he reworked his legal documents to make you the recipient of his will…"

"STOP!" I hissed. "He isn't dead!" Even through my astonishment at his declaration, I suddenly wanted to strangle the large man across from me.

Jenks' eyes jerked toward the bed.

"I apologize…I didn't mean to be insensitive. But there are certain things within his paperwork that I need to make you aware of," he continued.

I glanced to Carlisle and grew scared at the dawning horror in his face. What?

He slid a plain manila file folder toward me that he'd taken out of his briefcase. "Anthony…"

"Edward! His name is Edward!" I snarled out aggressively and caught the quirk of Carlisle's lips at my statement. The look was disconcerting considering the rest of his face was covered in agony.

I'd thrown Jenks at my words, but as the consummate professional he continued on.

"An…um…Edward made you the executor of his estate, in the event of his death…" he hurried through my rage "…or incapacitation, so that you could make decisions about how to handle his finances and holdings for you and your daughter."

He was only saved by the fact he'd added "incapacitation."

"However, in making you the executor of his estate, you are in effect the decision maker on all matters, not just the finances. Edward…" he hesitated, looking over to the bed again "…had a living will, Ms. Swan."

I felt numb.

"He did not desire to be kept alive by mechanical means in the event he was injured."

He continued speaking when I didn't say anything, the numbness taking over.

"You'll need to be the one to sign the orders to take him off life support, Ms. Swan, not his father."

A demon reared within me; one capable of destroying the man in front of me. "GET OUT!" I screamed, startling even myself with the volume. Rage so powerful it was invigorating took over, and I grabbed his briefcase and threw it at the door, before I leapt across the table, placing myself between Edward and the lunatic. I was literally crouching, as if I would attack him if he came near the bed.

He was stunned at my actions, as papers that had fallen from the still open satchel scattered across the tile floor. Esme and Carlie appeared in the doorway between the rooms, both still rubbing sleep from their eyes, but panic in their faces from being startled awake in the manner they were. They probably feared that something had happened to Edward…not that someone was threatening him.

"A living will, it is only when there is no hope, right Carlisle?" I barked out.

He looked down at his hands, before bringing his tear filled eyes up to meet me. "Most…"

"NO!" I screamed again, backing into the bed, the metal hitting my back and rattling. "I'm the executor right?" I asked of him.

"Yes," Carlisle murmured.

"Then I decide…and I don't choose this… We still have hope, and until we don't, no one is getting near him unless it is cleared through you," I growled out.

Jenks appeared stunned by the events, but he attempted to be rational. "Ms. Swan, Edward had specific wishes…"

Remembering the moment I'd screamed for Edward not to touch me and he'd ignored my wishes…which had ultimately saved my sight…I replied in a deep, dark voice, "Sometimes, Mr. Jenks, our wishes have to be ignored for the greater good. Please exit this room, and as the executor of Edward's estate, and therefore your employer, I am directing you not to mention that piece of paper…" I stared at the offending manila file folder "…to anyone."

"Ms. Swan…" he began to bargain with me, and it was all I could take.

I rushed across the room, threw open the door to the hallway and kicked the briefcase into it, grabbing handfuls of the fallen papers to fling them like confetti out the door. Startled, Jasper appeared, but seeing my arm pointing out the door he slid in pulling Alice with him.

"Leave!" I ordered the lawyer, and finally seeing that I was completely irrational, he decided to do as ordered.

"I'll come back later…to discuss the other terms," he said, laying several other manila folders on top of the first vile one.

I had no control by that time and slammed the door after him. Jasper's long whistle was the only sound that remained after the echo, but then the rapid sound of the heart monitor caught Carlisle's attention. He rushed toward the bed almost in a blur. I'd acted like a lunatic, but I wasn't going to allow anyone to threaten Edward. I just hoped that my actions hadn't caused a problem.

I waited, but not patiently, for Carlisle to tell me, knowing that my panic and questions would only distract him.

Beep Beep, Beep Beep, the sounds came quickly.

"I think he might have heard some of that," he said in an awe filled, hopeful voice.

"What!" I strangled out.

"This is good, Bella. Let me get the technicians in. I want a print out on the ventilator. Maybe he is also starting to take some breaths on his own," he responded, his hope evident.

This was good! It was one of the things that had been causing Carlisle and Felix the most concern, that there were no involuntary responses on Edward's part. It would be the first signs that he was actually beginning to heal.

Carlie moved to my side, and we wrapped our arms around each other in comfort. It had been a long couple of days for us. She'd come to accept the fact that her father would forgive her for her words. Interestingly enough, it had been Alice to convince her of it.

"_Carlie, your dad understands…trust me. In moments of passion, we all do things that we regret."_

I wasn't meant to hear it, having returned from the walk where I'd met Samantha, but I did.

"So, Poppa, this might mean that he can hear us?" she asked, her hope clear in her voice.

He grinned at her and nodded his head. Tearing from my arms, she lunged toward the bed and placed her lips to his ear.

"Daddy, please…I didn't mean it. You gotta wake up, so that I can talk with you. I'm sorry! Please!"

She'd said these words to him a hundred times over the past few days, but this time, believing he might be hearing her, she said them fervently. Her pleas, my anger at the lawyer, and just the horrendous situation that we found ourselves in made me dizzy, and seeing me stumble, Carlisle pointed at me to go into the other room and lay down.

"I'll call for you, Bella, if anything changes. No arguments, go rest!" he ordered.

"Yes sir!" I said in a clipped tone, letting him know that I thought he was being a dictator.

He could care less, already, pressing buttons on the machine. He'd made it clear that he was going to tell me when he thought I was overdoing it. As I moved by Alice, our eyes met, but she looked down quickly. I would have turned back to her, if I thought Carlisle would allow it. Esme was already patting the couch she'd made up for me.

"Have you eaten, Dear?" she asked softly.

When I shook my head, no, she buzzed over to the table. I could smell the still warm casserole someone had delivered. Within minutes, my stomach was full, and I felt the wear of the previous evening. But panic set in. "Carlisle! Don't let anyone near him!"

He came to the doorway and winked at me.

"Yes, m'am! I'll call Emmett to look over the papers as well."

I felt relief at the idea. "Thank you."

"Get a couple hours of sleep, Bella. We won't be able to retrieve the data until the techs get in."

"'Kay," I mumbled, sleep already drawing me under its spell of security.

~SOMP~

In my dreams, I battled against dark foes that were intent on tearing my family apart. Waves after waves of greedy fingers attempted to pull at us…and it seemed that no matter how hard I fought…I couldn't destroy them. It was as if there was a never ending source for the dark specters. Grabbing at them, intent on throwing them from me, I instead felt another human hand grabbing mine. Someone was trapped in the swirling masses, and I pulled hard attempting to help the faceless person.

When I jerked the next time, a body came through landing on me and we rolled over and over, me landing on top when we came to rest. When I looked down, I saw Edward's smiling face.

"My Love, if you wanted to be on top, all you had to do was ask," he teased.

He was surrounded by the multicolored flowers that dotted the meadow we'd found. It was just a short hike up the trail where we'd discovered the bird's nest.

"As if," I sniffed, enjoying the mischief in his face.

His bark of laughter filled the space around us, before he gazed in a longing manner at me. "Bella, you'll always be my master. Just tell me what you need me to do, and I'll do it," he teased, throwing his arms back as if he was surrendering.

To torture him, I nibbled at his throat with my teeth, pulling deep groans from within him. "Anything?" I whispered.

His pupils dilated at my tone and the undercurrent. "Anything…" he murmured hoarsely.

I woke from the memory, disoriented, but then saw Alice sitting across the room. She was reading on her Kindle. The sight made me immediately remember where we were. When I moved, she looked up quickly, but meeting my eyes, she froze. My attempts to stay reserved with Edward had only served to help perpetuate the incredible mess we found ourselves in. If I'd just risked being honest with him from the beginning, when he'd called me…we could have…we could have… Well, we definitely wouldn't be here. I didn't want to go on doing the same things, expecting different results. I knew we couldn't go back to where we'd left off, but there wasn't a reason we couldn't try to go forward.

"Ali, are we going to continue dancing around each other?" I said quickly before my bravado gave out. She sobbed at my question and seemed to vibrate in place. Pushing up from my sleeping position, I grabbed my glasses and then patted the space beside me. "I'm tired of being mad…"

She tackled me, literally, and began crying in great ugly sobs. "Bella…I'm so…"

"STOP!" I begged. "No more sorries…okay. I'm tired, and all this angst is getting to me. I'm ready for some good times now."

"Me too," she said, sniffling. "But Bella, I owe you some explanations," she continued like the terrier she could be sometimes.

Taking her face in my hands, I looked into her deeply scared eyes. "I've gotten a pretty good picture of it over the last few weeks. May I see them?" I asked softly.

She froze, knowing immediately what I meant. Almost imperceptibly, she nodded. If Alice was willing to let me see the horrific reminders of what she went through, I knew she truly wanted my forgiveness…so fastidious had she been as a teenager. She was dressed casually in yoga pants and a loose designer t-shirt, uncharacteristic for her. I knew it was because she planned on staying for the day and night, but it greatly aided my plight. I slowly raised the shirt, giving her the opportunity to stop me, but she didn't.

I'd wondered, as a teenager, why she wore one piece bathing suits and was so shy about revealing her body. She'd always been exquisitely made, and most girls would have shown their bodies off if they'd had what she did. But I'd thrown it up to the fact that she was just demure. But when I saw the prolific scars that crossed her flat stomach and moved upward towards her breasts, I couldn't help but tear up.

"Don't cry, because if you do, I'll fall apart," she said softly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I couldn't help but asking.

"I was ashamed…so ashamed," she choked out.

"But it wasn't your fault," I cried out, seeing her pain.

"I know that now, but back then it was too fresh. I wanted to tell you, and I tried several times, but every time I started to…something would happen. Jessica came in the day I was attempting to tell you why I didn't want to wear that prom dress," she indicated, reminding me of the situation.

I gasped seeing another time. "When Jake surprised us at the spend the night party!"

"Yeah…I was so close, and you would be the only person outside the family to know. Other than the cops, Jazz is the only other one still."

I brushed my fingers along a particularly wide slash and her belly clenched in reaction. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

Her hand captured mine, keeping my fingers pressed to the wide patch of raised skin.

"Other than mom, Jazz, and my babies, you are the only one who has ever touched me…"

I understood what Alice was doing. Since I was unwilling to hear her apology verbally, she was giving it to me in a much more personal way. It must be difficult, to have me see and feel what had been done to her.

"I am so glad he's dead!" I swore out about the monster that had taken so much…and possibly so much more.

"I killed him Bells."

That statement left me speechless.

"It was the .38 that pierced his heart," she said softly, but it wasn't a hesitant tone. Her dark eyes focused on me, waiting to see my reaction.

"Good!"

She smiled, and I caught a quick glimpse of the imp that used to be my best friend, but then her face fell. "I should have been quicker," she said and it ended in a sob like tone.

"Stop! Just stop! We have to quit all this blaming and stuff, or we aren't going to be able to forward."

She grabbed my hand, linking our fingers together, before she turned to smile broadly at me. "Okay. If you're going to give me a chance, I'll do whatever you say."

I laughed at her, knowing she was completely serious. Her giggles joined mine, and soon we were both laughing as if we'd never been separated. Jasper stepped into the doorway separating the rooms and the look that came over his face was euphoric. He smiled broadly, his lips quirking to one side, and leaned back against the door frame in a relaxed manner. I was suddenly very aware just how handsome Jasper was, and I squeezed Alice's hand in reaction.

She leaned over conspiratorially and said very softly, "I know…you should see him do it naked."

My hand covered my mouth, because I started snorting…my stomach killing me at the peals of laughter she and I broke into. At the sight of us acting like lunatics, Jasper shook his head and turned on his heel going back into the room.

Edward!

I stood, realizing I need to check on him. Sensing exactly what I was thinking, she said. "Dad got the results, but he didn't want to open them until you were awake."

I all but pulled her into the other room.

Esme and Carlisle sat in chairs beside the bed, her head on his shoulder. Emmett and Rose took up another chair, her sitting in his lap. Jasper leaned against the wall, the sideways grin in place. I almost screamed when I looked at the clock and saw how long I'd slept.

"Why did you let me…"

Carlisle's arched eyebrows answered my question. As I'd watched over him, he was doing the same for me.

"Carlie, where did she go?"

"Jacob and Leah dropped Seth by, and he made her go with him to get some ice cream. He's a really good kid, Bella," Emmett said. "He knew she needed to get out of here. They'll probably be back in a few minutes."

"Can…can we wait for her, she'll want to be here."

Carlisle smiled softly. "Certainly."

Nodding, I stepped over to the bed hoping for some positive sign, but Edward hadn't moved. Smoothing my hand over his, I wrapped my fingers around his cold ones. "Emmett, what did those papers say?"

Rosalie rose from Emmett's lap, and he in turn stood, pulling the files off the table. He moved to stand beside me, using the edge of the bed for a makeshift table.

"He placed you in control of everything, Bella. But I already knew that. He consulted on it with me, but I suggested that he allow Jenks to finalize the documents, because I didn't want there to ever be a question that it was biased. But I didn't know about Edward's Living Will."

"Am I going against his wishes…keeping him this way?"

"I read it several times over, and I don't think so, Bella…either legally or emotionally. He doesn't want to be kept alive solely by machines, and we know that his brain is still functioning and that he has a heartbeat." He smiled softly down at me…his boyish face quite open and expressive. "I think he has more to live for now, than ever." But then his fingers touched the manila file folder, and he sobered. "If we reach a point where there is no indication that he can recover…"

"Well, we just can't get there, then!"

I could see Carlisle's fingers clench around Edward's medical records. It must be killing him. He was extremely talented at his job…and to see his son suffering must be horrendous. It made me realize I needed to thank Emmett for looking at the paperwork for me.

"Em…Thank you." And then a thought hit me. "Hey! You never answered me. Why did you go into law in the first place?"

Emmett froze beside me as his wife giggled. She popped off, "Because he sucked at finances…after he lost his inheritance from their grandfather in that 'experiment,' he knew that he better figure something better to do."

Emmett's fingers clenched on the rail of Edward's bed, and he started to tell them to be quiet, but Alice joined in.

"Luckily, it was in his sophomore year, so he had time to regroup."

Only the Cullens could talk about that with ease, I realized…knowing that Esme's father had left them each a million for an inheritance to start their lives.

A million…sophomore year…

The breath in my lungs wheezed out of me…and I began to see stars as certainty beyond anything I ever knew settled over me. Turning to Emmett, I clawed into his arm, but he kept his eyes downcast…not meeting my stare.

"EMMETT!" I forced through the tightening of my throat.

Finally he looked at me…and I knew.

"But…but…you knew Charlie died?" The thought hurt me, that somehow he'd known and hadn't come to me.

"NO! No! Bella, I didn't know. I swear!" His hand went to his short hair, just like his brother did when agitated. "I made the lawyer an agreement. I didn't want to know how you got it; I just wanted you to have it. I thought I was respecting your desire not to hear from me, and honestly I was afraid if I knew where you where…I'd cave and run after you. I needed to know you had money to…go to college…or go on a trip….anything that would make you happy."

He grabbed the hand that wasn't holding onto his brother's.

"Bella, I swear! When I found out about Charlie, I was devastated. The only thing I could think was that I hadn't given you enough. I tracked the lawyer down, and he told me then what he'd done. Charlie had…he had a life insurance policy, and it was a good one considering he was a cop, but it was only for $250,000. If a cop is killed in the line of duty, they are usually covered with a million dollar clause…so he was able to make it look like to the feds that Charlie's life insurance was that much. He kept the rest for his fee. He was crooked as hell, and to be honest, I was naïve to trust him…but at least that time he did what he promised. I asked him later why, and he just told me that he could tell it was important to me."

He held onto me, even though I felt clammy. Charlie had taken care of me…and the $250,000 would have been plenty…we would have survived, but Emmett…my big brother had also taken care of me.

"Bella, he's dead. He got caught up in something, and they burned his place up with him in it. No one will ever be able to track it."

My mouth opened and closed like a dying fish. Similar looks of shock were plastered across the other faces in the room.

He smiled before saying, "It was the best financial decision I've probably ever made. Rosie was the best 'other' decision." He looked over at his stunned wife, and I could see her surprise turning quickly to pride. "I grew interested in how he'd been able to manipulate the legalities, and just let me say that everything went from there."

"I'll pay…" He stopped my words, clamping his other large hand over my mouth.

"Don't you even say it, Isabella Swan," he growled. "That is my niece that you raised with some of that money. But it was just the start for you, wasn't it. You did exactly what I always thought you would do…you became a success…and BB, that was all you!"

Gentle tears streamed down my face. Emmett…he hadn't just waited for me to come for him…he'd taken even more steps to protect me as best he could. Pulling our still connected hands to my face, I laid my face against the back of his hand.

"Don't BB, I'll start crying. Men don't cry!" he sniffed, attempting to keep the liquid making his eyes shiny from pouring down his face.

"You're special, Em…" I said as best as I could through the tears.

"He sure is, and baby, you are so going to get lucky tonight," Rosalie muttered.

"Really!" Emmett said with a great deal of enthusiasm, his grin almost roguish. He looked like a little kid being handed a really big treat. Seeing the look in Rosalie's face, I realized he was.

"Oh yea, baby…it's going to be a good night."

"Good night? Do we have news?" Carlie asked from where she and Seth had just stepped into the room.

There was the briefest moment of humor with the adults in the room, but a smirking Carlisle helped cover what could've been an uncomfortable situation.

"I don't know, Sweetheart. We were waiting on you," he indicated the file in his hand.

"Carlisle, Dear, if you don't open that file now, it will NOT be a good night for you," Esme growled, and I couldn't help but chuckle along with the others. This was the easy relationship I remembered from being around them those many years ago.

Pulling the file open, he reached for a folded section and then read a bunch of gibberish to us, but the smile on his face told me all I needed to know. His last words were all I needed to hear. "He's taking breaths on his own now… The machine only has to do it for him on occasion."

"Can he be taken off?" Alice asked the question I had been forming.

"I think so. I'll consult with Dr. De Luca," he said, and before he could even think, I was dialing Felix's number. Carlisle had felt it important to keep Felix involved, desiring a second voice since he was, in fact, just too close to the patient.

"Isabella," he murmured into the line within a few seconds.

"Will you come…we may have good news?"

"I'll be there shortly, with company in tow."

And so Felix, Demetri, and Jane appeared within the hour, Demetri grinning upon seeing me still holding onto Edward's hand.

"You look good, Beautiful. Do I need to speak with this man and tell him that I will steal you from him if he doesn't wake up soon?"

I smirked at him and then gave him a hug. "I'm sorry I'm no longer a good excuse for you. Have they started already?"

"Isabella…it is horrific. Aunt Sulpicia has already invited a friend over who has a daughter…"

I chuckled despite myself.

He turned serious then. "Are you okay?"

A small sob came out despite my best effort. "I just want him to be okay."

"I know."

Jane approached then, and we spoke softly while watching Felix and Carlisle pour over the tests. I wanted to squeal in joy when Felix nodded his head. I knew before Carlisle even said it, that they agreed to chance Edward off the ventilator.

"Okay, I suggest we keep the tube in and just turn the machine off. That way, if he begins experiencing problems keeping pace then we can quickly reinstate the support," Felix noted, looking at the last report again. "A decrease in the meds as well, to see if he'll wake up?"

Carlisle nodded quickly in support of the idea. The moments after they turned the power off seemed to stretch forever. Twelve sets of eyes stared at Edward's chest, and the collective sigh that echoed through the room, seeing him take a breath, seemed to take on a life of its own…joyous and hopeful.

"Is it painful?" Carlie asked, knowing that the bullet had ruptured the lung and that his breathing must put pressure on it.

I'd informed Carlisle to give it to her straight. "Very, which is why he'll be kept on the pain medication while it heals."

I saw Esme's guarded glance at her husband and knew she was concerned about the painkillers and Edward's aversion to medication, but that was a fight for another day.

Before the evening arrived, Carlisle and Felix both agreed that the tube could be removed as well. Edward's oxygen levels weren't perfect but for someone who'd suffered trauma just days before, they were pretty damn good. As the evening set on the second day, I prayed that the third one would be our miracle, and that Edward would open his eyes for us.

I remembered what he said to me, when he'd picked me up and ran out of his house to save my sight.

"_Bella, I will after this point obey your every command to me..."_

My dream seemed to echo in my conscious as well…

"_Bella, you'll always be my master. Just tell me what you need me to do, and I'll do it."_

Hmm…

After Jake and Leah had visited and left with Seth, followed only shortly by the Velathri clan, the nurses came in and washed his hair. Carlisle then escorted us all out so that he, Jasper, and Emmett could give Edward a quick sponge bath. So this time when I leaned over to talk to him, it was as if he was asleep at my side. Something came over me…and without anyone else around to tell me that I couldn't do it, I crawled into the hospital bed with him being mindful of the IVs and breathing monitor still attached. I was on the side opposite of his gunshot wound and where they'd had to insert the chest tube, so I cuddled to him.

Placing my hand over his heart and feeling the slight thumping of it, I sighed. His smell, it still set my senses on fire, the heat between us simmered even if he was unaware of it. Running my fingertips across his eyebrows, I let them trail back over his nose and across his lips.

"Edward, I know you can hear me. Carlisle tells me that your heartbeat sped up when I screamed at that awful man. Baby…I told you the whole time you were laying on that floor that you couldn't leave me, that I need you, that Carlie needs you. I begged you to hold on and open your eyes so that you could see us, but you couldn't then. Carlisle says you can now…that we are in just a wait and see mode. I guess he means wait and see when you decide to join us again. At least, that is what I choose to believe."

Knowing that Carlisle still had doubts about Edward's condition while at the same time hopes that all that was just would persevere…tears pricked my eyes, and I quickly dashed them away. He and I were going to go with the "all that was just."

"So, I'm not asking anymore. You told me that you would obey my every command, so now I'm ordering you…come back to me. Because…because, I need to tell you that I love you too…I always have, and I always will…"

I knew better than to expect an immediate miracle, but I couldn't help but feel a small moment of disappointment when he remained as still as he'd been throughout it all. Stifling the hurt, I patted his chest softly and yawned, the day catching up to me.

"It's okay, Edward…just remember, that wasn't a request, it was an order."

I fell asleep against him, waking in the middle of the night to move to the chair, afraid I'd hurt him in my restlessness. Resting my face against the sheets again, I said a quick prayer before closing my eyes.

I woke just a few hours later, feeling the crick in my neck. Uncertain what had woken me, I went to stretch and felt a gentle tug on my hair. Thinking it had gotten caught on one of the metal rings, I reached to untangle it, coming in contact with fingers instead. Gasping, I rose…

"CARLISLE!" I choked out…never taking my eyes from the sleepy green ones looking at me in confusion and wary hope.

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><p><strong>Just a couple of comments:<strong>

**1) I was asked if I've been changing the storyline based on reviewer comments - NO! ;) I've had this outline from the day before I began writing. I always knew that Edward would get shot...and for those of you who are still not loving Edward...no, not all is peaches and roses. The boy still has to win her back. **

**2) The outtakes...I've used them to fill out the storyline some. I plan to keep the main story Edward, Bella, and Carlie only. I wrote my first fiction, Harvest Moon (Post Breaking Dawn), entirely from Edward's perspective. It is still, in my opinion, my best fic...but I did love adding a little to it through some outtakes. Please...if you don't like them...skip over 'em. **

**3) No, we still have a good part of the storyline to go!**

**Lastly, YES I want to know your thougths!**


	34. SOMP Outtakes Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**Please note – these outtakes are unbetaed. All mistakes are mine!**

**I snuck away from the hubby long enough to post this. One of my babies placed third in a wrestling competition – on our way to state! WOO HOO!**

**For those of you I beta for…I'll get chapters done this weekend – promise!**

* * *

><p><strong>Carlisle Outtake – Directive Chapter<strong>

"I apologize…I didn't mean to be insensitive. But there are certain things within his paperwork that I need to make you aware of," Jenks informed Bella.

Despair washed over me. I'd forgotten about Edward's wishes, but certainly we weren't in an untenable situation. He wasn't beyond hope, and that is what I'd thought Edward had considered. Surely, he hadn't done something stupid? Bella turned to me and caught my confusion and dread, a scared look on her face. She was pushing the envelope on risking her health, but honestly, without just knocking her out too, I was losing the battle of dragging her away from my son and his side.

Sliding a file folder toward her, Jenks began, "Anthony…"

"Edward! His name is Edward!" She exploded with all the fury of a mother bear. She was extraordinary in her rage, and I couldn't help but enjoy the fact that she was. Hearing her say his name…it was an answer to prayer.

Even during the crazed moments of trying to save Edward's life, as we'd worked at a frantic pace to stop the bleeding and keep him breathing, I couldn't help but rejoice when I observed her reactions. She still loved him; my heart sang…there was hope. She'd remained by his side, even as his heart stopped, and I panicked. Her whispers had turned into harsh cries…begging him to hang on, even as I started the counts and Felix did the breaths.

I knew they would still have much to work out between them, but even then, in the midst of crisis, I couldn't staunch the optimism that flowed within me.

Jenks' words drew me back into the conversation. "…um…Edward made you the executor of his estate, in the event of his death…" he hurried out "…or incapacitation, so that you could make decisions about how to handle his finances and holdings for you and your daughter. However, in making you the executor of his estate, you are in effect the decision maker on all matters, not just the finances. Edward had a living will, Ms. Swan. He did not desire to be kept alive by mechanical means in the event he was injured. You'll need to be the one to sign the orders to take him off life support, Ms. Swan, not his father."

No, Edward! To do so would kill the woman in front of me. She'd only just allowed herself to acknowledge the feelings she must have bottled up inside. To see how she'd hovered over Edward since the shooting had only nourished my hope. If we could just pull him out of this…I just knew everything would be alright in the end. We just had to get him on the road to recovery, but Jenks' paperwork could spell the end of our chance.

"GET OUT!" she screamed, and then I was the witness to the finest examples of love I'd seen in a long time.

The paper as it fell from his satchel almost seemed to mimic the snowflakes I'd once watch surround Bella and Edward as they frolicked in our backyard in Forks. Edward's deep laughter and her soft chuckles had carried all the way to the deck, where Esme and I had cuddled watching them play. It had been such a simple time then…

"A living will, it is only when there is no hope, right Carlisle?" she asked, capturing my attention. I looked down, unable to tell her that not all of them were. I forced out, "Most…"

"NO! I'm the executor right?" she threw back, having moved to shield Edward.

Her actions sang to my soul. She was ready to defend him from any threat. _C'mon son, wake up and see she is fighting for you…_ "Yes," I murmured.

"Then I decide…and I don't choose this… We still have hope, and until we don't, no one is getting near him unless it is cleared through you," she pronounced, looking at me with the trust I'd betrayed so long ago.

She went on to order Jenks to leave, and in a fine display of attitude threw him out when he didn't move fast enough. She was glorious, and as I rushed to check on the erratic heartbeat that her display invoked, I realized just how fiery the pairing between them really was.

When she yelled at me to make sure no one touched him, I couldn't help but wink at her in conspiracy.

Later, when no one was watching, I whispered in Edward's ear. "Son, she is here waiting on you. It's time to live again."

**Rosalie POV**

My Emmett…he'd taken care of Bella, giving her a million dollars. Yeah, most women would be pissed, but I wasn't. My husband…the man I would vote father of the year, husband of the lifetime, and lover of the century…he was just a…good guy. I was one freaking lucky girl, and I knew it. But I had to keep Emmett in line, because he could just be a little too perfect at times.

Some would call me superficial, and I would admit that were mostly right. I loved that Emmett was handsome beyond doubt and built like a god, but there was so much more. He was a truly decent person, and that was what had made me fall in love with him. As he took on Bella, telling her to let it go, I realized that I wanted him badly.

I wasn't being disrespectful to Edward…he'd understand. I was giving him…oh…ten seconds to attack Ms. Swan, once she gave him permission, of course. I was using the process of positive imagery. I chose to believe that Edward was going to get better, forcing any other thought from my head than the one that saw my brother-in-law recovering and chasing Ms. Swan. I liked Bella, I liked my brother. Neither of them was perfect, but they were perfect for one another, and that was all the mattered.

I was not perfect, but it seemed that my husband was approaching it. I was going to have to take him down a few notches. I pondered several of the new lingerie outfits I'd bought, and mentally selecting the red one knew I'd have him groveling. After picking up Emmy, Ross, Jasmine, and Alistair from the babysitter and tucking them to bed upstairs, I thrilled in bringing out the bad boy in my husband. Only when I collapsed from happy exhaustion, his large body covering mine, did I allow him his perfection back.

"Rosie…I don't know what I'll…"

I shushed him with fingers.

"Emmett, God would not do that to me. He is going to allow me to watch Edward Cullen get led around by the balls. And I am going to enjoy watching it happen," I said authoritatively.

His laugher started slowly, but built until the bed actually shook with the power of it.

"Baby, I love you," he finally said, having placed his head on my chest.

He fell asleep to my fingers running through his short dark curls. It was only then that I allowed the tears to slip from my eyes. Being the family bitch was necessary, but sometimes even I had to cry…and having seen my brother-in-law's attempt to make amends evolve into possibly the ultimate sacrifice…well it was enough to cry over.

**Emmett POV**

It was difficult for me to watch Bella with Demetri, mostly because I knew the depth of my brother's feelings for her. In regards to BB, the man seemed appropriate, kind, and all that other stuff, but my very being wanted to lock her away with Edward and let them hash it out, because deep down I just couldn't shake that they were meant to be together. She'd run out of the emergency room, when one of the nurses told us that Edward had gone into cardiac arrest again, and I'd gone to follow her, but my mother had passed out at the news, and I'd been the one to catch her. So, when Bella came in, Demetri supporting her, I'd groaned, almost overwhelmed by the needs in front of me. We'd waited for the news, and my sigh of relief on hearing that he'd been stabilized was the loudest.

The attending surgeon had finally forced my dad from the operating room, and when he joined us and I saw his face, I realized why. He was a mess…

"Carlisle?" Bella strangled out, before anyone else.

"He's stable; they'll continue to monitor him. Hopefully they'll allow us to move him here soon…"

I knew that would be a significant challenge…in that the medical authorities would prefer for him to be in ICU, but no one could argue that he wouldn't be under the best medical care. They could provide everything to him there that they could here…except for direct 24 hours doctor supervision…which he would get under my father's care. And…well…my dad was the boss.

Aro and his family were with us, and I was pleased to see that Demetri went to check on his mother. If there was any peace to be found in this situation, it was that he seemed to be a good person. It wasn't until we'd forced ourselves to eat some of the massive amounts of food that'd appeared in the "family room" that Bella spoke again.

"Um…Demetri and I have something to tell you."

My heart sank, and I could see corresponding looks of dread on my father's and mother's faces. Demetri stepped to her side as if he was there to share in the momentous occasion. Bella glanced at him and seemed to gain support from the look he gave her. I took a deep breath, preparing myself.

"We aren't really dating, it was all a farce," she said rapidly, and then her shoulders fell, as if she was preparing to be reprimanded. "I'm sorr…"

As my father's face reflected his relief, the breath I'd sucked in, rushed out in a whoop of delight and I grabbed her up into my arms, spinning her around in joy.

"Nothing personal, man," I said to Demetri softly a few minutes later.

He'd actually cracked a grin. "None taken but understand something…that brother of yours…if he doesn't step up, I won't promise not to pursue something more. I like Isabella entirely too much."

"Point taken and accepted. However, I don't think that is going to be a problem, if she allows him."

He looked over to where Bella was exiting the room on her way to the next one to sit by Edward. "He needs to court her again."

I agreed. "Yes, he does."

That evening, after Rose and the kids were in bed, I crept into our closet and reached high on the shelf for a box that I kept hidden. Pulling it down, I then went to our living room to pour myself a shot of tequila. Throwing it back, I grimaced at the burn as it scalded its way down my throat. Then, and only then, could I open it.

Inside a dozen heat seared pictures rested against a bed of blue silk. On top of them was a silver bracelet. I'd saved the pictures by putting my foot over them and pulling them away from the bonfire, the blue silk had been the scarf Bella had worn around her shoulders for Prom. I'd found it when I'd packed his room up when we left Forks. My only explanation for how it had survived had been that it'd become entangled in some of his stuff and fallen to the back of the closet, for certainly he would have destroyed it had he remembered. But the bracelet…it'd been my sign that not all was as it seemed. I'd walked the trail the day we left Forks to join Edward in the Seattle hospital. Having helped Edward put on the Christmas surprise for Bella, my later interpretation of my behavior was that I was saying goodbye to her in my own way, but what I'd found instead when I reached the area was not peace but the unexplainable need to look up. A glimmer from the tree limbs above had drawn my attention and upon climbing I found the silver bracelet, twined within the bird's nest.

I wasn't ignorant of the significance; I knew what he'd had designed for her that Christmas. Had Edward thrown it at the nest in rage? Or had he placed it delicately in the pile of twigs? I'd never asked…unwilling to let him know I'd found it. In the beginning, I was afraid he'd regret his telling action and demand it back to destroy. I'd almost caved the day he'd told me that he couldn't get away from the memories of her. I was to find out that he'd returned years later, asking the new owner's permission to walk the trail. He'd gone looking, carrying a metal detector with him. But I'd kept it secret still. I wanted to know that he was truly sorry for what he did, before I returned it to him. Picking it up, I watched the moonlight reflect softly off the interconnected treble clefs. Whether I placed it on his wrist at his funeral, or gave it to him to begin anew, it was time to give it back to the owner.

**Esme POV**

"Carlisle, how will I go on? We aren't supposed to bury our children, we are supposed to watch them grow old, love and pamper their children, not consider where we might bury them," I sobbed into his chest.

He wrapped his arms around me and murmured softly into my hair…not words, but soft sounds of love.

"Carlisle, I'm scared."

He put his finger under my chin and raised my face to meet his. There were dark circles under his eyes, and the lines at the corners seemed deeper. "I'm scared too…I feel so helpless, and you know that isn't an emotion I do well. But Esme, we'll get through this, because we are going to just believe that he'll be okay."

I laid my head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat clearly. He was my other half, my soul mate, and forever.

"She loves him!" I breathed out, my voice trembling. The realization was just too much. It had been my fondest hope that she would allow my son to woo her and that possibly their love would develop again. But to know that she had lived with the emotions, just like my Edward…it was painful. So much time lost.

"I know…it's a miracle really." He brushed his fingers through my hair. "I have to believe that we haven't been brought to this moment, through everything that has occurred, to lose it all. I don't believe that the all merciful God would, in his grace, do this to us."

Pulling back a little, I looked into the face that I knew better than my own. My children - I was forever grateful that they had their father's heart. Emmett, he was the jovial one, loyal to the end, he had Carlisle's consistency. Alice, as a child she'd been the apple of Carlisle's eye always bouncing around like a perpetual angel. Her dark years had been such a torment for us all, but if there was anything that she'd gotten from her father it was her simple faith. Edward, my lost child - he'd gotten his father's emotionality. He felt everything, the highs and the lows of the environment and individuals around us. It made him a good doctor, because he was able to make connections with his patients.

Emmett had found his Rosalie; she was the sarcastic counterpoint to Emmett's joviality. She made my responsible one sometimes consider just being a rascal. Jasper…well Jasper had been our miracle worker…he'd found the spirit of an angel buried underneath the rubble and enticed it out. He was the panacea to her dark and scarred past. And so long ago, Edward had found his Bella. She'd been the Yin to his Yang, the foundation for his exploration, the girl who'd seen more than his handsome face and who'd called him on his pompousness when needed. There'd never been another Bella, and so he'd wandered alone.

To see my son lying on the floor of that room, dying in front of me and to be literally helpless had been the most excruciating and humbling experience of my life. The little boy that I'd held through colic, who'd wrapped me around his finger when at the age of four he'd sat down at a piano and picked out a tune by ear. The boy who'd brought me a frog from the creek for my birthday present…so much pride in his eyes at his accomplishment that I'd attempted not to scream bloody murder. The boy that had defied death just too many times. When I'd seen my husband leap to start CPR, my only thought was that this time the hand of death had finally gotten its grip on him…that he'd battled demons for so long, that in the midst of and in defense of his angel, he'd succumbed.

My mother has once taught me a simple prayer. "Dear Lord, this child, he was yours before he was mine. I was unworthy then, and I'm unworthy now. For the time you've already given me, I thank you. For the time I desire, I pray your mercy."

I'd prayed it over Alice. It seemed I'd prayed it a million times since that gun went off. So much so, that it'd become a litany in my head.

So, I felt it only honorable that I fell to my knees and said thanks as Carlisle rushed to Edward's side. My son…he was staring at his other half, and I knew the look in his eyes. Confusion, love, pain, but most of all hope.

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><p><strong>Thoughts…<strong>


	35. Confessions

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinies for pre-reading and betaing this. **

**I apologize in advance for not doing an outtake this week. I know most readers don't want to hear personal stuff, but I severely injured my shoulder two weeks ago. So, just getting this chapter and my chapter for my MonsterWard story out has been a labor of love. HA!**

**For my new reviewers from the last chapter, I do try to personally answer you, but this week…I beg forgiveness.**

**Hope it meets your expectation!**

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><p>Edward POV<p>

Fire licked at me, burning at my chest and pouring down my throat as if it wanted to consume me. One of my legs seemed to be in the midst of the flames as well. I tried to move away from the inferno, but my body wouldn't obey. It was torturous, and I wanted to rail against whatever kept me bound…unable to scream out at the agony or escape. At times, it seemed I had angels beside me, whispering their love and pleading for me to hang on. My father, who I also equated as an angel, directed me as well…to wake up and open my eyes. But it didn't make sense that they would be allowed to visit the hell where I existed.

I should understand why I was here, why they were calling to me, but I didn't. It actually panicked me a little, but the weariness always pulled me under just as I thought I might be able to break away from the torture. Fingers soothed over my face, bringing relief, but it was temporary, as was the presence at my side. But my dreams this time were filled with softness and comfort, and an undefinable need to push against the chains that bound me.

Slowly, the sounds of a hospital infiltrated my wakening senses, but it was hard to focus through the fog that blanketed me. Finally, forcing my eyes open, I startled upon seeing the drop tile ceiling above me. A beep at my side jarred me again, and I turned my head to see a drip IV hanging from a metal pole beside me and monitoring console merrily lighting up. It took a minute for reality to sink in…I was in a hospital bed and the devices were connected to me. The burning returned like a fury and my hands flew to my throat. It felt as if someone had poured acid down it, and in that moment, I would have given anything for a glass of ice water to quench the fire.

As my fingers clawed at my throat, I frantically searched my memories for what had happened and remembered entering the room and seeing Glenn. My fingers brushed down to the heavy bandaging across my chest. I'd been shot. I didn't remember it happening, but it was clear that was what had occurred. Panic began to set in. If I'd been shot, someone else could have also been.

I let my fingers slide to the bed in hopes of finding the device I could use to call the nurse and met instead soft silk. My neck jerked painfully to see who was at my side, and I saw the rich brown locks of my daughter. My eyes burned as I moved to touch her hair, thankful she was here. But Bella and my family, were they okay? She could tell me, but I wasn't even sure I could voice my question through the agony of my throat. My hand was shaky, and unfortunately, I wasn't fast enough to let go when she began to move.

To define the emotions that overwhelmed me when I realized chocolate brown, not green, eyes looked up at me would have been impossible.

"CARLISLE!" she called harshly, her eyes never leaving mine. I saw my father rise to our side and realized he'd been sleeping on something in the room with me.

Within a few moments, my father stood beside her, wiping sleep from his eyes, his hair askew. But I couldn't drag my eyes from Bella.

"Edward, son…" he murmured, and his anguished tone broke through my amazement enough to make me glance at him.

He looked weary and older somehow, as if he'd aged a decade since I last saw him. Flashing a pen light in my eyes, he checked my reactions. Grimacing, I put my hand to my throat. Understanding immediately, Bella appeared beside my dad, a paper cup in hand.

"Edward…" my heart seized when she said my name, and although she didn't notice my reaction, my father did "…here."

Running her hand behind my shoulder to help me sit up, she held the cup to my lips, and the icy coldness was nirvana. She was touching me! I didn't understand...but I couldn't help closing my eyes as the water slowly floated down my raw throat. I could smell My Love, her special scent tantalizing me. The groan that tore out of me was as much a result of her scent as it was the water she was giving me.

A gasp caught my attention, and across the way I saw my mother rising from her knees, her hand linked with Carlie's. It reminded me of what I needed to know, and I grabbed at my father in a desperate need to check on everyone. He knew me too well.

"Edward, everyone is okay. Glenn is dead."

A piece of memory flashed through my mind…gunshots, screaming. Against my every wish to stare at the woman at my side and my daughter, my eyes cut to my father. I saw the look in his face, and I knew we'd talk later. With that knowledge, I was able to do what I wanted to…gaze at Bella and our daughter, who'd reached her mother's side.

"Daddy!" she cried out, carefully putting her cheek to mine.

Daddy? Huh? I heard my father calling Alice, and I knew that everyone would be here soon, but my mind was overwhelmed with the feel of my daughter against me and the word she'd used.

"Carlie, let me check your father out, and then we'll leave you three alone to talk," my father told her.

I felt the drop of her tears as she pulled back. She smoothed the warm wetness off me, her tiny hands feathering across my skin. When she stepped back beside Bella, my father took over checking vitals and reading the machine. He'd just have to forgive me, but I kept my eyes on the two beautiful women standing over me, soaking them in.

"Edward, you were on an endotracheal tube to keep you breathing," he indicated, explaining the incredible burn in my throat. "We removed it last night, so that is why you're experiencing soreness."

Soreness? I was quite certain I would never use that term with another patient, because the pain was worse than being burned alive. Bella held the cup up again as if she was asking me if I wanted anymore. As if I would give up the chance to have her touch me again. I knew it was only momentary, for certainly she was here to support Carlie, but I would take what I could get.

She gave it to Carlie first and stepped closer to help me lean up, placing several more pillows behind me.

"Is that too much? Carlisle told me that we need to get you sitting up as soon as possible to help, but I'm guessing it's fairly painful."

It was, but not as much as I would have expected…and it was then I realized what was in the IV. My eyes jerked to my father, and his answer was to narrow his eyes in warning at me. I wasn't stupid. I couldn't handle this without pain medication, but it didn't make me happy. I wanted to sob, knowing that I would have some long days ahead of me.

But when a lock of Bella's hair slid down and fell across my face, I knew that there were all kinds of torture. Coming off the drugs would be a piece of cake in comparison to seeing her walk out the door. I barely stifled a groan. Greedily drinking down the water she offered, I relished the feel of her hand supporting me. My father gave me the clinical rundown just as soon as I'd finished, surreptitiously handing me one of the mint flavored sticks the hospital provided for dry mouths. I was puzzled why he would bother, but grateful as I really wanted a toothbrush badly.

"Glenn shot you when you stepped in front of Demetri…" A flash of a memory raced through me, the Velathri man's face looking down into my mine. "The bullet broke several ribs and collapsed your lung. You went into cardiac arrest as a result of the loss of pressure. You're going to be here for awhile, and I would appreciate you bringing your nicer persona to the process. I've been managing your care, but now that you're awake, I might just go home to sleep in my own bed, which means you are going to have to be nice to the nurses. I'm going to make Bella go home as well, so you aren't going to be pampered like you have been," he indicated, taking the moment to lean over me to check the bandaging.

It was an awkward way to do it. He could have walked around to that side, because he blocked my view of Bella and Carlie. When I jerked to snarl at him at the movement, he caught my eye, having done it on purpose. Blue eyes twinkled down at me, and he winked in conspiracy. I didn't know what he meant by the wink, but it made me feel infinitely better for some reason. Then his words settled into my conscious…Bella had pampered me?

His smile grew slightly as my eyes widened. He was letting me know something, but the implication was too fantastic to actually consider. But then I realized what Bella's care would be about - I'd saved Demetri, and she was showing her thanks by taking care me. The heart monitor skipped a few beats as the pain settled, and my father's attention jerked to it. He frowned at me, pulling the stick from my mouth. It was a very paternal look - he was admonishing me.

When he moved out of the way, Bella stepped up, straightening my oxygen tubing and brushing her fingers through my hair, to tuck some of the strands down. I wheezed at the contact - there was no other way to describe it.

"I'm not going anywhere, Carlisle," she said softly, snugging the blanket around me.

"Bella…" my father began in his best paternal voice.

"Can it!" Bella replied as my mother moved to us as well.

"Edward, you scared me to death!" she said harshly. "Don't ever do that to me again!" She tucked the same blankets in that Bella had, fussing over me. Leaning down, she placed a kiss to my forehead. "Are you hurting?"

No, I shook my head, before mimicking writing on something.

Heading out of the room, my father returned quickly with a pen and notepad. I was almost grateful that I'd been hit on my left side, leaving my right hand somewhat free. Although, it hurt too.

_Chest tube?_ I wrote, motioning to that side.

"Yes."

_Everyone okay? _I just needed to hear it again.

"Yes."

_Glenn – how?_

Bella took up that answer, and I was glad for it because it gave me a reason to gaze at her. "He was being transported from the Penitentiary to the local jail for the Parole hearing when he escaped. The authorities believe that he charmed the female that was helping transport him, and when he said he needed a restroom, she trusted him. They found her body stuffed between the toilet and wall. He stole her gun and climbed out of the window. A copy of the newspaper with the 'Love Child' article was found in his cell at the Penn. He knew that we would be there and planned it appropriately."

_Jasper okay?_ I wrote, wondering how he felt about killing the man.

My mother and father exchanged glances, before she answered. "Alice's shot is the one that killed him, Edward."

My hands shook, and I couldn't help but look at my parents. _Alice! Okay!_

My mother smiled softly. "Yes, she's fine." At my astonished look, she added. "I promise. She stayed the night, but she and Jasper left a little while ago to get us some coffee. They are going to be upset that they weren't here when you woke up."

I heard the machine chime and knew that it was feeding me a new dose of pain medication.

Hand still shaking, I wrote. _How much, dad?_

He knew exactly what I was talking about. "What you need. Don't give me a hard time about this." Then he barked out a laugh. "Scratch that. Argue all you want, I'm just glad that you're doing it."

I grinned seeing how tired he looked. It made me think. _How long? _

When I turned the question to them, Bella growled. "Three days…three long torturous days."

I took a deep breath at the sight of Bella, and it seemed to be my father and mother's cue. She leaned down and kissed my cheek, taking the opportunity to whisper, "Don't blow it."

As I tried to figure out what she meant, my father offered, "Esme and I are going to step out a few minutes. I suspect that Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie will be here soon." He winked at me again as he escorted my mother out…leaving me with my daughter and the woman I'd lost.

Carlie quickly reached out to the bed-side rail and pressing the button, lowering it. She then proceeded to sit at my side. Taking my left hand gently, she laced our fingers.

"Daddy…" the name sent shivers through me, and it seemed that I'd heard it before, but I couldn't place it "…I'm so sorry. I didn't really mean what I said to you. I was just mad." She started crying, big fat tears running down her face. "Will you please forgive me?" she sobbed and squeezed my hand.

_Nothing to forgive. I still need that talk, though. _

She was my child, and I would forgive her anything. But forgiveness wasn't necessary in this instance. I'd known it wasn't going to be good when we did have the talk, so her reaction wasn't something I hadn't expected. I just hated that it had been revealed in the way it had. I wanted to snarl when I thought about Tanya.

Her tears plopped down on to the paper. "Aunt Alice said that was what you were going to say. Okay…and I promise to attempt not to act like a spoiled brat. But not until you are out of here, is that okay?"

I grinned at her and nodded. Feeling flush, I knew the pain killers were hitting, and I was guessing that I would be out again soon. Seeing my lids droop, Carlie squeezed my hand again.

"Daddy, I love you!" she said softly, tears still pooling in her eyes…and mine now as well. The words I'd longed to hear…they were heaven coming from her.

Flipping the page for a new sheet, I wrote in large, bold letters. "Love you too, Sweetheart!"

She reached over and tore out the piece of paper where I'd written the words, rising to tuck it into the back pocket of her jeans. Patting my cheek she seemed satisfied with how we'd left it. "I think I'll step out and see what is keeping Aunt Alice," she said, just before she moved off the bed and walked quickly over to the doorway.

I felt confusion though when she shut the two wide doors. My anxiety only increased when I realized that Bella continued to gaze at me, and I felt the flush of my blush spreading across my face. She smiled seeing it. Then to my ultimate disbelief, she took the space that Carlie had vacated.

"Are you hurting?" she asked, and I didn't have the strength to be honest with the answer.

_Yes, I'm in pain! The hole in my heart is eating me alive,_ I wanted to shout.

Instead, I assessed my body and found that the medication had dulled everything. Morphine, I was guessing. As my heart throbbed, I thought - too bad it didn't work on broken hearts - but it made me realize something I hadn't asked.

_Demetri? _I scribbled - my writing sloppier under the influence of the new wave of "feel good" stuff.

She saw the question and for a moment looked confused.

_OK?_ I wrote darker.

She looked up from the paper with an extremely puzzled look. "He's fine." Then she narrowed her eyes on me. "Edward…" the dark husky tone of her voice saying my name made me close my eyes in bliss. I could remember her teasing me in the exact same tone, while she wrapped her arms around me.

"Edward!" she called out a little louder, and when I felt her fingers on my face, my eyes jerked open at the jolt of electricity that shot through me at her touch. "You saved his life. I know he'll want to speak with you later, I'm sure, to express his thanks."

Just great. I remembered doing so now, jumping in front of him because he was what she needed. I was fine without seeing him though, because nobility only went so far. I closed my eyes this time to cover the pain. I'd accomplished what I wanted to, but if felt more like hell than what I'd just come out of.

"You're tired. We can talk later…I'll be here." Then my entire body flamed to life when I felt her lips touch my forehead.

The gasp that escaped me was inordinately loud in the room, and suddenly, falling asleep was far from my mind. I battled to keep my eyes closed, knowing I needed a moment to reorient myself, but she didn't move. When I finally allowed myself to give into my desire, I found her still leaned over me, her lips just inches from mine. Chocolate brown eyes gazed at me solemnly from behind the glasses. The groan that ripped out of my chest was as embarrassing as the gasp had been.

"Edward…are you tired? If not, I thought…we…we might talk."

As was my fate, the door opened behind her. When Bella jerked up, I saw my sister standing there. To my astonishment, Bella rushed over and slammed the door shut with a "Sorry!" to Alice. I heard my sister giggling from the other side at Bella's display of attitude. Giggling?

Bella moved back to the bed, and it seemed she took a deep breath as if she was making some sort of decision. She sat and pulled my hand into hers. The heat that raced over me was as fiery as that which had burned me earlier…but this time the pain was pleasurable…all except my heart. Why was she touching me? She knew how I felt. Didn't she know just how difficult this would be for me? I had to swallow hard to keep from screaming. Thankfully, the morphine had calmed the burn in my throat.

Smoothing her fingertips over the bones of my hand, she murmured softly. "I thought I would die when I saw you fall." She looked up to see the startled look to my face. "Don't do that to me again!" Tears gathered in her eyes and slowly fell across her face. I wanted to reach out to brush them away…but I didn't have that right. "Do you remember anything from after you were shot?" she asked.

I shook my head "No." Just a brief moment of seeing Demetri crouched over me, but the memory hadn't made sense until I worked out that I'd been shot.

"Of course…" she let out in a huff. Taking a deep breath, she said, "I came prepared that evening to speak with you. I should have just returned to your penthouse that Friday when I was released from the hospital, as soon as Carlie told me you were home. But, I have to admit that the next time I saw you…" she hesitated and a blush stole over her cheeks in a mesmerizing way "…I wanted to be beautiful, to knock your socks off. Call it petulant, if you will, but you haven't really seen me looking my best."

She was beautiful, excruciatingly so! I would have sworn it out if I could, but why did it matter.

She looked me directly in the eyes, before saying, "Demetri…I used him as a buffer between you and me. We were never a couple, Edward."

"Wha…" the word tore from my throat. I attempted to sit up straighter, but her hand on my upper chest stopped me. She couldn't mean…

"Please don't move without Carlisle giving you permission. I refuse for anything else to happen that would hinder you getting out of here and going home."

"What?" I forced out the whole word this time, still fixated on what she'd said about Demetri. Then my voice went out again.

_Happy!_ I wrote, tapping the paper emphatically.

A blush stole across her face again. "It would seem you aren't the only one that says things before thinking." She shrugged in way that I found adorable, but it didn't further what she was saying. "He does make me happy…like in a friend way, happy."

A quick knock on the door interrupted us, and I wanted to throw something at it. I was overwhelmed with what she was saying, the possibilities, and the fact she was sitting beside me. It suddenly became imperative to hear what she was going to say. A niggling of hope was attempting to work its way under my skin, and I was desperately attempting to keep it at bay. I wouldn't survive another whipping.

"A few more minutes Alice!" Bella yelled out.

"HURRY UP!" my sister's voice called back. "I want to see him too!"

Bella rolled her eyes at the door, but turned back to me.

_Don't understand?_ I wrote.

"Edward, I used Demetri as a buffer, because I was so afraid that I'd make a fool of myself over you."

"Bell…" I attempted to choke out her name, confusion making me stupid.

Her fingertips against my lips stopped my attempt.

"Edward. I came prepared to tell you the night of Carlie's competition what I should have told you that day in your apartment…had I not overreacted." Her fingers brushed over my lips, making them sensitive. "I never stopped either…loving you."

Shock froze my ability to move, well, all except my heart, which took off at a gallop. Love…

"I tried…I really did, but no one could ever take your place. I…" she looked down in a shy manner "…don't know where we go from here, but to see you shot and face the possibility that you might die without me telling you." She glanced back up to take in my shock. "I might have lost you…" her features twisted in agony "…I don't want to go another moment without having said it, without having told you."

She loved me?

_Love Me?_ I wrote. I had to know that I wasn't just delirious. My hand shook so hard over the paper that she grabbed it with her other one, steadying it.

She nodded softly before squeezing the hand with the pen and setting it back down. "Always have…always will."

Then she leaned over as if to give me a kiss, and like an idiot, I put my fingers between us.

"Edward?" she groaned, her breath washing over me, making me dizzy. It was indecent what the vibration of her lips against skin did to my body.

"Ea it.."

"Huh?" she said. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips in nervous habit, and another wave of intoxicating desire washed over me.

I moved my fingers, but she didn't pull away. Her lips were but inches from mine, and a war of epic proportions occurred within me…kiss her…or tell her. I could feel the heat of her across the bare space that separated us, and the kiss option seemed the more desirable decision.

_Earn it._ I wrote, but who knows exactly how it looked, because I couldn't get my eyes off her. I held the pad just to the side of my head. It shook, I knew, because the weakness and emotions were beginning to take over, and the lust rushing through me made me dangerous.

She pulled back just a few inches to glance at what I'd written. "Earn it? Earn what? My love?"

I nodded quickly, glad that she understood.

"Screw that," she said, and then the world stood still as she pressed her lips to mine.

Heat swallowed me at the contact. Her lips brushed mine, and the electricity between us crackled across my skin making the hair on my arms and legs stand on end. I gasped at the exquisiteness of her touch, and she took advantage of my response, licking across my lips before she turned slightly, brushing her tongue against mine. Moaning, my free hand dropped the pen and flew to her hair, my fingers working into the fine silk to secure her to me as her taste invaded my mouth, making me want to drag her onto me. I shuddered while our tongues softly mated. I thanked God for my father then…and his foresight to give me something other than bad breath.

Her whimpers fanned the flames making them explode, and my fingers tightened instinctually holding her securely to me. It was everything I remembered…this bond between us, and when she pushed more into me, I knew I was dangerously close to ruining everything. I wanted her…but I'd meant what I said. I had to earn this, not just assume we'd start where it was left off.

So, finding the last vestige of my strength, I pulled back, sinking farther into the pillows behind me. She followed me, laying her forehead to my lips. We were both panting for breath, and I could feel her excitement, the twin peaks of her breasts pressed against me. Even injured in the way I was, my body was hard as a rock. Her heart raced against my chest, and I was certain she could hear mine…so hard was it thumping. As the pants of her breath washed over the skin of my neck, I savored the contact, knowing that it would be the last for awhile, because I didn't trust myself with her. If I wasn't being delusional and she really was going to give me a chance, I was going to do it right this time.

When I could finally catch my breath, I pulled her chin up so that she rose slightly. When she adorably arched an eyebrow at me, I mouthed, "Bella, I love you."

She leaned up further, pressing her breasts into me more. My eyes probably crossed at the pleasure, and she smiled seeing my reaction. "I love you too, Edward."

"Thank God that is over," a smirking voice called from the doorway, making Bella move away from me quickly. "I held the door so that The Pixie didn't interrupt, but when everything went quiet, I thought the two of you might have killed one another," Emmett boomed out.

As the family filed in behind him, I cursed his interruption, but at the same time thanked him silently. Even if I could've shown her my passion, I didn't need to yet. I had a way to go to truly deserve the love she said still existed, and considering our past and how I'd spent the time between us, making love to her right now was not the way to go about it. I needed to court her…to truly deserve the love she'd admitted in the incomprehensible, miraculous turn of events I found myself in.

The family kept me distracted as they rambled around us, but within another half hour the morphine and my body's demand for rest won. I fell asleep holding onto Bella's hand, while the happy chatter floated over me, leaving me looking, no doubt, like the village idiot…so broad was the smile on my face.

**Carlie POV**

"Seth…" I sobbed into the phone, the emotions overwhelming me.

I heard his startled gasp. "Carlie…did he..did he di.."

I spoke over him. "He's awake and talking!"

I knew him well enough to know he was smiling on the other end. "Get out of here!" he said huskily. "Were you able to speak with him?"

"YES!" My tone was immensely happy, so he knew it had gone well.

"I'll let my mom and dad know. They'll be excited to hear this. Is Aunt Bella okay?" he asked.

"I think so." I grinned over at the closed doors, laughing softly when Aunt Alice turned in almost military fashion to pace back before them again. "She and my dad are talking."

"Ah…" he left off. "Have you heard any screaming yet?" He was teasing…

I snorted. "No, but we can hear Mama talking. Daddy really can't speak. Poppa says that the tubing they used probably made his throat sore."

"Wow, Aunt Bella will love that…someone who can't argue back with her," he said in the most serious tone possible.

"HA! I never thought about that." We were a vocal group, and she was used to people giving as good as they got.

"Are you coming home tonight?"

I looked over to the door and sighed. "Yeah, Mama is probably going to make me go back to school now that we know he is going to be okay." It would seem a horrible situation except I wanted to see Seth, to hold his hand and know it was going to be okay. "I miss you," I told him quickly.

"I miss you, too. But I know you need to be there with him."

Aunt Alice went to grab the doorknob, and Uncle Emmett snatched her up, wrapping his hand around her mouth. He yelped and it wasn't too hard for me to imagine that she'd bit him.

"Stop Alice! Give them a few more minutes," he warned her.

"Look, I gotta go. I'm afraid my aunt and uncle are going to kill each other."

He snickered into the phone. "Okay…go keep them from shedding each other's blood. Love you."

"Love you too. I'll talk to you later today."

As soon as I hung up, it was easy to hear that the noises from next door had stopped. Emmett moved then, pushing through the door.

They were touching! My mother's forehead was pressed to my father's lips. And then he whispered something to her and she replied, "I love you too, Edward."

Peace and happiness settled over me.

"Thank God that is over. I held the door so that The Pixie didn't interrupt, but when everything went quiet, I thought the two of you had killed one another," Uncle Emmett said in an overloud tone.

They both jumped guiltily, but the look on my father's face told me everything…it was going to be okay. I was certain there would be rough roads still ahead, but at least they'd gotten most of it out in the open. We all rushed into the room, and I watched as my uncles and aunts took their time speaking to my father. Their closeness reminded me of the relationships I'd observed on the Rez, and it made me happy.

Not long later, I saw my father's eyes close, and I nudged my mother, nodding to him.

"Carlisle, is it okay to lower his bed down some? I can't imagine it will be comfortable for him to nap this way," she asked.

"Just a little, but we need to keep him elevated. It's too easy for Pneumonia to set in, particularly with the type of injury he received. I'll examine his stitches when he wakes up the next time, and if they are healing, we are going to have to get him up walking. No use chancing fluid building in his lungs."

Uncle Emmett groaned, and I imagined it was because my dad wasn't going to be a happy camper. "Can we keep BB around? He'll at least attempt to behave with her here." He smirked at the words, but I sensed the plea underlying them.

"I'm here until he goes home," my mother stated emphatically, glaring over at my grandfather.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, my Poppa spoke authoritatively, "Then you will need to sleep at night while he is. Don't think I haven't noticed that you haven't been putting your head down like you need. Bella, my son would wring my neck if I allowed any harm to come to you. The next few days aren't going to be a bed of roses. He's going to want to come off the pain medication as soon as possible…even sooner. It isn't going to be pretty."

He was warning her.

"Okay." My mother's answer was short and sweet.

"I'll come in the afternoon," I offered, knowing I wouldn't win in an attempt to stay out of school.

"Even better," Uncle Jasper said softly. "He wouldn't dare bless us out in front of the two of them." He grinned over at Uncle Emmett like they were making some pact.

"You two had better not make it harder for him," my grandmother said, narrowing her eyes at them. She was the peacekeeper in the family, and her words spoke to a history of sibling rivalry between the men. I could see that…that they would harass each other. "Bella, dear, why don't you and Carlie go freshen up? I'll sit with him," she offered.

I knew my mother would find it hard to leave his side, but I was guessing she knew how Meme felt. As a mother, she would want to be holding my hand too.

Poppa made it easier. "Bella, he isn't going to wake up again for a while. Go…" he encouraged.

With those words she caved, grabbing my hand instead. "I get the shower first," she teased.

As I finished in the shower and pulled on clean clothes, ready to see if my mom just wanted to walk around the halls for a few minutes and see something other than the walls of the room my father had been given, I wondered if the family just wanted us gone so that they could discuss everything that had occurred over the past few days. But when I walked into the room to get my mom, I realized I was thinking with a head still stuck in the misunderstandings of the past.

My mom had sat beside Aunt Rose and was looking at some papers that Uncle Emmett must have brought. He leaned over them from the back of the couch…his finger pointing at something. Meme had pulled the cot closer to my father, and my grandfather was resting on it again, but this time, he'd wormed his way in the most uncomfortable looking position to where his head was on her lap, his body on the cot. Meme had her hands in his hair, softly running her fingers through it. My dad was still passed out, but she held his hand with her other one. Aunt Alice was pulling pajamas out of a bag, and I was betting that they were for my father. Soft flannel, they'd be much more comfortable that whatever he was wearing below the blanket. I could imagine he'd be more likely to attempt walking if his backside wasn't gracing everyone. Uncle Jasper stood at her side with a bemused look on his face at whatever she was saying.

It was a homey picture even if it was in a hospital room, and I was immediately struck with the realization of just how lucky I was. I had three families…the Blacks and the Quileute pack that came with them, the Velathris, and now the Cullens. I smirked realizing how glad I was that I already had Seth, because if I didn't, I couldn't imagine that any boy would have withstood the scrutiny he'd face. The Quileute would worry him like a dog with a bone, Uncle Aro would stare at him like he could see every intention…then sic his large minions on the person to ferret out all his secrets, and my father…Oh My God…he would know exactly what some young boy was thinking. He'd been there and done it to excess…and faced the consequences.

Yeah…now that I thought about it, I might need to be a little more protective of Seth. Grinning at my thoughts, I stepped into the room ready to just enjoy the moment.

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><p><strong>Would LOVE to know what you think…think of it as my own personal bandage for my "boo-boo" as my babies call it and how happy it'll make me to get it! ;)<strong>


	36. Waking

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who usually pre-read and beta this story for me. Unfortunately, I just finished this a minute ago, so I didn't have the ability to get it to them in order to look over it. All mistakes are mine!**

**For my new reviewers, I do try to personally answer you, but this week…I beg forgiveness. Doctor has said I have to limit computer time! **

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

The sense of pain increased, and it was what roused me from the drug induced sleep. It would seem that my father had listened to me and either began reducing the medication or had changed it. As soon as my eyes opened, I looked for her and saw nothing. A sense of finality set in. It'd been a dream after all. I really wasn't surprised. Against the fact that in my delirium induced dream Bella had seemed to be willing to give me a chance, I really didn't deserve it. Wanted it – yes. Deserved it – without a doubt, no. An overwhelming sense of stunned pain settled around my heart.

Then, a sound came from the bathroom…the toilet flushing, the water in the sink turning on and then off. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the door and didn't realize I'd been holding my breath until she came through it. It rushed out of me in relief.

"Hey!" she said quickly seeing that I was awake.

"Hey!" The word came out gruffly, but at least it was verbal.

"You need some water?" she asked after giving me a blinding smile.

"Please." This time my voice was more of a croak. When she went to lift me up slightly, my heart beat embarrassingly at the contact.

"I sent your dad home to get some rest in his bed," she informed me as she poured the water into a white plastic cup and put a lid on it before inserting one of those bendable straws. I reached out for the water, and even though my hands shook and she looked as if she wanted to hold it for me, she let me try. Even with the concerted effort I put into it, I still dribbled some onto the sheet over my chest.

"I feel like a baby," I admitted at how weak I felt, already I could go to sleep again.

"From what I've been told, that is going to be the status quo for at least a day or two," she helped adjust the cup again. "Be prepared, your brother and brother-in-law seemed just a little too jovial about the possibility of participating in your recuperation."

I groaned, imagining that they would. The sound was so plaintive that she laughed.

At her inquisitive look, I admitted in a whisper, "Jasper was hurt a couple of years ago, and I was his doctor. He wasn't always happy with some of my methods, but his arm healed and there are no traces of limitations." I shrugged letting her know that I justified my actions by the fact he'd made a total recovery.

"And Em?"

"Broke his leg being a weekend warrior."

"Football?" she asked quickly, fussing with my covers again.

"Yeah. And he was a bigger baby than Jasper," I grinned, but then yawned deeply.

It was a clear indication of how tired I was. Wanting to spend more time with her, I fought the pull of the medicine, but I was losing. She saw the struggle.

"Get some sleep. I'll be here."

I didn't reach for her hand this time, but I did watch her, watching me, as I slid back into the deep embrace of rest.

~SOMP~

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap…

The sound broke through the cocoon surrounding me. Was it raining? Perhaps it was the sound of the drops hitting the window seal.

When I woke this time, I'd been repositioned and was lying on my side, facing the window. But it was still daylight, and the sunshine pouring through the blinds let me know that my guess was wrong.

Tap. Tap.

Then I saw her. Bella was typing on her laptop, but she did so with her eyes closed, her fingers flying across the board. I took the opportunity to gaze at her without her knowing it. Her hair was pulled back from her exquisite face and hanging down in waves around her. She had relaxed down into the chair and had her feet propped up on the bed so that she was touching my thigh. She didn't have her glasses on, so at first I was confused, because it was clear she was writing. Then, I realized she was doing it as she'd done for years. I was betting it was easier to do it that way, letting her thoughts flow from her mind through her fingertips. Remaining as still as I could, I watched her create magic, wishing I knew what was going through her mind as I watched the emotions pour across her face. She grinned at times and pouted her lips adorably at others. She even giggled at one point, and it was so child-like that it washed over me in its pureness. Closing my eyes at the joy the sound held, I fell to sleep again.

~SOMP~

Dusk had settled the next time I woke. This time, I was met by my sister's eyes. "Don't worry, she'll be back. I had to force her to go for a walk."

"Thanks Squirt."

"No problem, Dork."

"Are you okay?" I asked quickly, my voice getting better each time I woke. It still cracked though, and she moved to get the water cup.

"I'm okay." When I stared at her with my eyebrow raised, she finally caved and gave me what I wanted to hear. "I can't tell you how good it felt to kill him. Am I a monster because of that?"

Her eyes were calm while she waited on my words.

"Well, I'm probably not the one you want to ask, because I would have done it first if I'd been carrying a gun. We'll just be monsters together, okay…watching out for each other's backs."

She grinned before patting my hand softly. "Sounds like a good plan to me."

"Want to talk about it?" I asked, needing to hear how it had been for her…the arrest, the police station, and the investigation. Alice and I had been partners through the whole mess up unto this point, and it felt like I'd let her down not being there for her.

"When you're better," she said succinctly, brokering no argument.

She fussed for a while making me stretch. I wanted to throttle her though when she wrinkled her nose at me. "You seriously need a shower!"

"God, what I wouldn't give for one. Has dad been in today? I'd like to see if he can use some of the waterproof bandages and let me clean up."

"'fraid that Bella will run if you get to looking much worse?" she teased.

"She's seen me ugly. Being a mess physically would probably be a big step up." As I'd raised my eyebrow at her earlier to get to the heart of the matter, she turned it on me. "Okay, I'll admit it. I do want to at least look as good as I can. Considering I'm rocking the hospital assigned pea soup, it is going to be difficult enough." I picked up the collar of my hospital attire with my fingertips, and she obligingly grimaced at the color.

"Well, I've got that covered at least." She nodded over to a table. "Got you some soft PJs."

That made me groan, and I realized I might just want to stay in the green atrocity after all. She was known to buy some pretty embarrassing stuff. One Christmas, she'd found a Superman pair for me. Emmy and Jasmine had insisted I wear them, fashioning a red pillow case around my neck for a cape. I'd become their personal superhero that day, carrying them around the house like they were flying. It was an extremely endearing memory, but there were pictures somewhere…Emmet had hid them.

Alice giggled seeing the wary look on my face. "Don't worry; I went easy on you this time." When I shook my head in a knowing manner, she admitted, "Jasper made me take the ones home that would embarrass you."

I snickered, knowing that was most likely the true story. A noise at the doorway interrupted us, but I couldn't turn to see who it was, hoping it was Bella. The sound of something rolling confused me though, until I saw a most miraculous sight.

Bella had brought Samantha to see me. Her face lit up, and I reached out to grab her hand as she pushed it through the metal rungs of my bed.

"Dr. Cullen!" she squealed.

"I know she can't stay for long, but I was afraid she was going to start stalking me through the hallway," Bella said in answer to what had occurred.

"You okay?" she said, her dark green eyes taking in the pillows supporting me. She squeezed my hand with all her might.

"Yes. They have me propped up so that my lung can get a rest."

Her eyes grew wide, seeing a small part of the bandage poking out just at my collar bone. "You gonna have to do 'terapy?"

I chuckled, knowing that physical therapy was probably about the worst thing imaginable to her. "Most likely…to get my strength back."

"Can we go together?" she asked.

"We'll see. My father tells me what to do now." A wave a fear crossed her face when I mentioned the word father, and I wanted to kick myself. My mouth opened before my brain caught up. "I'll tell him that we need to go together," I offered before thinking it through.

Her smile was blinding. About as big as the smile would be on the PT's face, knowing I would behave in front of her. Doctors were notorious for not being the best patients, and I'd bet they were drawing straws to determine who would have to take me on. Bella kept her with us for several more minutes, but I couldn't help when my eyes began to droop.

"I'm going to take Ms. Samantha back to her room, Edward. I'll be back when you wake up next," Bella told me, before winking at me.

That wink made me feel like a million dollars, even if I smelt and looked like a bum.

"Bye, Dr. Cullen." Samantha called out as she released my hand, and Bella rolled her back out.

"That girl is in love with you," Alice said softly, causing me to smile sleepily. She gazed longingly at the door that Bella had exited.

"I know; it's a miracle."

"I don't mean Bella, Edward," she added, causing me to push up a little.

"Samantha?" I said hoarsely, a little confused.

"What's her story?" my sister said with a gleam in her eye.

I knew that look well. "Her social worker…the nurses know her name. They are going to be looking for a home just as soon as she can leave here.

"You were thinking of looking into it!" Alice gasped at my tone. She knew me better than anyone.

I nodded softly, the sleep dragging me under even further. "Have to speak to Bella…lots to be considered."

"I want her," she said softly, the mother in her desiring to protect the little one.

My answer was to grin.

~SOMP~

"I would yell out 'Boo', but dad would kill me if I gave you another heart attack," Emmett said as soon as I opened my eyes the next time and saw him sitting by me. I'd slept through the night, if the morning sun outside the window was any indication.

I looked around the room and noticed that Bella wasn't there, but Emmett was good to answer the unspoken question.

"Felix came by first thing this morning to get her. He wanted to take her down to ophthalmology to run some test on her eyes. They're staying on top of her to make sure she doesn't overdue it."

"Good!" Bella was still recovering as much as I was.

"I think dad is attempting to lure him in with all the technology downstairs. And…" he smirked "… more importantly, Poppa Cullen dressed you up for a shower. Pixie told me you were dying for one." He laughed at his irreverent joke.

It sounded so good, but I doubted I could accomplish it. "Em…I don't think I can stand long enough," I told him honestly.

My words made the deviltry die in face. He texted something quickly and then set his phone on the side table. "So'kay Bubba. Rebel boy is on the way, and we're going to get you taken care of." The reminder of my condition had wiped all teasing aside for him.

Using the metal rails, I pulled up to sit, and saw that indeed the bulky wrappings had been replaced with sleek waterproof patches. I'd wanted to see, but perhaps it was better it was done while I was out cold. I wasn't surprised to see my father come in with Jasper, and within a moment, they had me sitting on the side of the bed.

"I have fifty dollars on you passing out as soon as you stand, so make me the winner," Jasper announced arrogantly, coming to stand in front of me and putting my legs between his so that I could get balance. I rolled my eyes at him.

But the agony that poured through me when I pushed up made the world spin and turn on its side. Hands grabbed me under the armpits, and I tried desperately to not fall over, but the flush feeling continued to spread. I gritted my teeth against the fire and the chance I'd act like a pansy and pass out.

"Edward!" Jasper barked at me making my head jerk toward him. "You will not pass out on me!"

I took deep ragged breaths, which unfortunately hurt like hell, in an attempt to find my balance. "Thought you had fifty on it," I said very quietly as soon as I could get it out.

"Nah, I was just harassing you…that was Emmett. Mine was on you staying up," he smirked, seeing his distraction had worked.

Carlisle pressed the button on the bed and let the nurse station know I was up. I'd return to a clean bed, one way or the other. My best guess was that I was going to pass out in the shower and have to be carried back, and I was close to being right…experiencing the flush feeling again when Emmett helped me back to the bed.

"God, I feel so much better! Thank you," I told my two brothers and father.

Emmett snickered. "I'll only give you so many showers, Bro. You're going to have to step up your game quickly."

Contrary to his snarky words, both he and Jasper had been infinitely patient with me. The bed had soft cotton sheets on it, and true to her word, Alice's sleep pants and shirt made me feel much better. They were a tame light blue. Just the fact that my hair didn't feel greasy was a big bonus, and I'd wanted to weep when I saw the toothbrush. I'd begged my father, with his surgical precision, to shave me, even though both Emmett and Jasper had offered. Their looks had been just a little too bloodthirsty for my comfort. Wracked by exhaustion, it was all I could do to keep my eyes open as soon as my head hit the pillow.

"Edward, the next time you get up, we're going to go for a short walk," my father warned me. I knew he was thinking it was a step in the right direction, but all I could think of was how bad the burn was in my chest.

His eyes twinkled at me before he said, "The quicker the recovery, the sooner you can get home. Don't you have a reason to want to do that now? It's going to be hard to win over Bella sitting in a hospital bed."

Of course it would be right after that comment that Bella walked in. "Man the difference an hour makes!" she teased.

I saw Felix entering directly behind her, and he nodded in an accepting manner before walking over to shake my father's and brothers' hands. I was certain my shock was apparent when he held his hand out for mine.

"Edward, you are definitely looking better than the last time I saw you."

"Thank you." My words weren't meant in regards to his compliment, and he knew it. He was as responsible for saving my life as my father was.

"No, thank you. Demetri is my best friend."

Bella came over to the bed, lowering the rails. Now that all the monitors were gone, she only had to navigate my IV, which my dad hadn't reattached yet. He'd have to in order to give me the pain medication, but for now, I was free. She slid in beside me, and the heat of her scorched me along the side of my leg.

"You smell better," she teased me, and I could feel the blush scorch along my cheekbones.

My brothers burst out in laughter at my reaction, but they quickly said their goodbyes, and after my father put the IV back in, he and Felix left too.

"Well at least I can clear a room. Did I say something?" she continued on in humor.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the look on her face. "No, they just know I'll be out soon, and they wanted to give us some time alone. I'm certain that Dad has put some feel good juice in there and after the shower…" I left off.

"Is it going to be hard…with the medication?" she asked softly.

I swallowed harshly. "I really don't know. To be honest, it has been years, and the last time was…horrendous. Bella, you may not want to be around, I've already been enough of an ass around you." It was a difficult thing to admit to her, but I wouldn't be anything but forthcoming from this day forward.

Her brown eyes widened slightly and looked to me in an assessing manner. "Will it make it more difficult or easier for me to be here?"

I didn't quite know how to answer that question. I'd definitely act better, and being able to see her before me would ultimately be an incentive. Yet, I wondered why she would even want to be around during the process. Maybe I was accounting it to be more than it actually would. I wasn't the boy I'd been before. I also knew what I was in for this time; whereas, before, I'd sweated out the process blindly. Did I really want her to be here to see me twitch? To grind my teeth?

"Edward…" she brushed her hand against mine gaining my immediate attention "…quit over-thinking it; just tell me whether or not you want me to be there with you."

"Of course!" I strangled out, thinking she might believe I didn't want her.

"Well then, that is the answer," she replied.

I couldn't help but smile at her, and she nudged my shoulder gently in return. It would probably have hurt except for the dulling effect of the medication flowing into my arteries.

I hadn't really been able to speak with her since the revelations of the day before, other than the shocked happiness and sputtering I'd done. Wanting to tell her something, I managed to capture her gaze and held it so that she could see my sincerity. "Bella, there are no words to tell you what it means to me that you would give me a second chance. There is still so much ugliness between us, and I have to admit to wanting to dive right into it so that I can quickly banish it, but…"

"Edward," she interrupted, turning on the bed slightly so that she faced me fully. "I know, and knowing you, you've already developed a plan for how you see yourself accomplishing that. Do you want to go ahead and share it?" she grinned in an impish manner.

I chuckled at her astuteness. "When I spoke to you that day at my penthouse, I had planned to propose that we begin dating, to get to know one another again. I know it probably sounds so simple considering that we have a daughter together, albeit one I can claim no honor for. You've become an amazing woman, one I want to know. I see so much of the girl I fell in love with in you, but you are just so much…more." I shook my head and my fingers threaded through my hair in agitation. "Does that even make sense?"

Her lips quirked at me. "A very noble proposition. You're going to kill me…"

I gasped at the thought. Uncertain as to how she thought I was going to cause her pain, I went to touch her, but held myself back. "I don't…I would never…" The words sputtered from me.

She glanced to where my hand had dropped to the sheets and then looked up at me. "Exactly…just like that." A hurt look washed across her face. "I wished you would've reserved a bit of those morals for all those women you slept with over the years, instead of me. How is that really fair, Edward, to have been so free with yourself with them, but shut the possibilities between us up in a little box and expect me to be alright with it?"

The air should have rushed out of my lungs at the direct hit, but I managed not to slump over. Pain from my actions seized me, making it almost difficult to think. But this was one of the bigger topics we would have to settle. I just prayed that my fuzzy mind could accomplish it in a fair manner.

"Bella, the easy answer would be to say that I did not feel an ounce of the affection for them that I do you. But it wouldn't be fair to just explain it that way. I cared for them, but even with the one or two that I did find a degree of a connection with, it was still sex, nothing more. My heart was still yours, and it was tucked away in some hidden corner getting dusty. It is the truth, and it does not paint me in a pretty light, because it can't. It is part of what I became, and I was wrong."

I saw the tears glimmering in her eyes, but I had to forge on. "Bella, the words seems so inadequate, but I would like to ask…" I hesitated, wishing I was more intelligent and could figure out another way to do this. "Could you find it in your heart to forgive me? Please."

My words shocked her.

"I would get down on my knees to do this, if I could, but I'm certain that would be a fiasco right now. I will though do that when I can. You deserve for me to ask properly." I saw her thinking through what I'd said, so I forged on. "This possibility between us, it is a chance for redemption for me…for us. When, and if, I am allowed to touch you…it will be making love, not sex, no matter what happens…gentle…passionate…planned…spontaneous. I just don't want you to ever believe that my caresses or touch will in any respect be coming from anything but what I feel for you."

She began to talk, but I pleaded, "Just a few more moments…" I looked at her for permission before I moved on. Receiving a quick nod, I continued. "Would it feel more respectful if I gave you control over that?"

"I'm not sure I understand." Her tone was so confused that I wanted to smile, but knew it was most likely not the best reaction to display.

"You indicated that you felt like I would put our intimacy or physical attraction in a box…sheltering it and you. Why don't I just let you be in charge of it then…with the understanding that I would like some time to court you first?"

Her eyebrow arched. "So you are basically reverting back to where we were in high school…you at constant readiness giving me the say of what and if it happens."

I couldn't help but smirk, even though I felt the medicine beginning to take away all my ability to be coherent. "Hmm…I guess I am."

"So, I'm in control of when and if I get to taste your lips again?" she mumbled, having leaned over to where her's were barely a breath away from mine.

My quick intake of breath was my answer. I felt dizzy with the combination of narcotics and temptation she presented. Her lips parted and the flow of breath over my face made me groan in need. Her eyes darkened as she watched mine do the same.

"So, if I decided tomorrow to ravish you?" She arched her eyebrow, proposing a question to see just how willing I was to abide by my proposition.

The shaky laughter that tore from me was part relief and part fear. "I can't say that it would be a memorable experience," I responded looking down to my bandages and the hospital around us. I could imagine one of the nurses walking in, and she must have had the same thought because she sat up a little, stopping the torture.

Her chuckle broke the moment. "Okay, I'll give you that," she said quickly with a blush to her cheeks, but as if she was proving a point, she picked up my hand, lacing our fingers.

"Bella…I…I haven't been with anyone since my last rounds of tests, but I would want to be responsible enough to have them completed again. It would be my one request of you."

She grinned down at me and shook her head.

"What are you thinking?" The words had torn from me before I could contain them.

"Just how very…Edward…you are. Do you remember how you freaked out the first time we had sex and we did so unprotected? Then when it happened a second and third time…"

Ah…my infamous meltdown. "I was a little neurotic."

"Humph…to say the least!" She was making fun of me! It felt good, like old times.

"Well, I hate to mention this to you, but it seems that we had a good reason to be concerned."

"I never thought I'd say this, but thank goodness we weren't careful."

Fuzzy visions of Carlie's face blurred through my mind at Bella's words. I squeezed her hand and about the best I could offer was, "I agree, but I would've never had you go through that alone."

"I know," she answered again. But she must have seen the struggle I was having, because she raised up to kiss my forehead. The feel of her lips against my skin was heavenly. "Edward, go to sleep. That is a topic I don't think we can even begin to attempt to sort out here. It needs to wait until after you've recovered."

"'kay," I replied, or at least I think I did. It was difficult to know with the fuzziness surrounding me.

In my netherworld, I felt her brush her lips across my forehead again and the pull of her fingertips through my hair.

She may or may not have whispered, "Clever boy…I've forgotten how smart you really are. If I didn't think you meant what you said, I'd scream."

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><p><strong>Would LOVE to know what you think…think of it as my own personal bandage for my "boo-boo" as my babies call it and how happy it'll make me to get it! ;)<strong>


	37. Beginnings

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I couldn't do this without you, as you well know!**

**Yeah! My shoulder's better…so I'll let you know at the bottom whose outtake is next! ;)**

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

"Less this round, Dad, please," I begged when he came to see me mid-morning of the next day. He'd come to assess me and to develop a plan in regards to our next steps. I'd prepared my arguments for him in the early morning hours as Bella had slept on the rollout beside me.

"Edward, I am afraid to take the levels down too quickly. You won't rest, and you have to do that in order to recover." He wasn't entertaining any of my arguments.

"A compromise then, less during the day, and if you need to have me comatose at night you can do that. I'm having a hard time staying awake, and I can't even begin to think about starting a recovery when I can't walk or think."

"Where's Bella?" he asked, attempting to sidetrack me. As distractions went, it was a good one.

"She brought Samantha to see me again and had to take her back," I admitted to him.

"Your mother is asking a lot of questions about the little one since Alice filled her in. I'm afraid there is going to be a cat fight." He didn't seem too upset over the idea of my mom fighting for the little girl. I knew they'd spoken about being foster parents in the past and had even attended all the trainings.

"She loves me better." I felt defensive all of a sudden…possessive. I needed to think about this when my head was clear; there was a lot to consider.

"So, Bella will be a few minutes?" he went back to the original topic. At my nod, he continued. "Hmmm…then there is no better time than now to take these things off and let you see the damage, so that you can prepare her. Fast or slow?" he asked the question he'd always proposed of me as a child. I was the rip the Band-Aid off kinda guy. Emmett whined and wanted it to be done slowly. Mom did "gentle;" my dad did the "quick and dirty."

"Just get it over with."

He dabbed the edges with a solution and then peeled it back quickly. The liquid helped, so honestly it felt better than what I'd expected. "That wasn't so bad!" I choked out.

His grin told me that I wasn't fooling him too much. I probably looked green. He moved to the tray depositing the dirty bandages before picking up the antiseptic and a hand held mirror. "We can always do cosmetic surgery if you desire it," he said, cleaning the wound quickly before handing me the mirror.

It was actually very clean, and the surgeon had managed to patch me up nicely, but it was still nasty looking. It wasn't the fact that I'd carry a scar for which I felt horror; it was the location of the wound. My father had waited patiently for me to realize the significance. Deep, dark bruising surrounded the pink, stitched, healing flesh, but the hole was but mere inches from my heart.

"How am I still alive?" I gasped out.

He sat elegantly on the side of my bed, as if my question had sapped all his energy. "Miracle. It is my only logical explanation." He paused a moment to let the harsh words sink in. "Let me look at the chest tube site," he suggested, leaving me with the mirror to look at the wound that should have ended my life. Another round of bandaging came off, and he grunted in satisfaction upon seeing it. "I think we can do without the cover here anymore, but the bullet wound, I need to tape back up."

He waited patiently for me to hand him the mirror back.

"I saved the bullet for the police, but now that he's dead…it's not even evidence anymore. Want it?" he asked irreverently, causing me to shake my head quickly.

"NO! No…I'm perfectly fine without it."

He chuckled at my answer before resuming a serious face. "You think if I go find a walker, that you can manage some steps?"

"You aren't really asking, so just go find it!" I grimaced at his humor, because honestly, I knew the quicker I was up and moving, the sooner I would get out of the hospital. I could do much of my recovery at home, where I would prefer to be.

"A minute then, and I'll have this covered up," he murmured already picking out the gauze.

While I waited on him to acquire the walker, I made the effort to sit up and button my shirt over the bandaging. When the knock came at the door, and I called out, I presumed it would be one of the nurses. They'd taken to announcing themselves before coming in, insinuating that they didn't want to walk in on "anything." They were having entirely too good of a time with the Bella thing. So, I was shocked to find not a nurse, but Dr. Paschal walking in. A quick check of my clothing told me I was presentable, but still being barefoot made me feel undressed.

She smiled softly, seeing me at the edge of the bed, before walking over.

"Edward, you look better than I expected," she noted. It was then that I realized I'd missed my appointment with her, being in the hospital.

"Oh! I should have had someone…"

"Don't panic, against my better judgment and our agreement, I called to check on you when you didn't make your appointment. One of your brothers told me you were in the hospital after I explained I was your doctor. I wouldn't have had to call in the first place if I would've picked up the morning paper. I'm sorry that I gave them the information I was your physician, but I wasn't specific."

I could care less, having been meaning to tell them that I'd sought out help. "Big Goofball or Southern accent?" I questioned, wondering exactly who she spoke to.

"Southern accent," she answered.

"That's Jasper, Alice's husband."

"Ah…"

"Please sit! My father will be back in a moment. He's gone to get the torture device otherwise known as a walker, but I would like to introduce you."

She nodded and sat in the chair that Bella always utilized. "So…do I need to worry that it was a suicide mission?"

I couldn't help but grinning at her snarky attitude. "No! No. I just didn't think and reacted."

"Classic martyr. We need to work on that," she indicated, leaning back as if we were going to start a therapy session.

I couldn't help but chuckle, and the movement sent a spike of pain racing through me.

Having seen my grimace, she asked in a clinical fashion, "Exactly how close did you come to dying?" Psychiatrist she may be, but she was still a doctor as well.

"Inches." I held up two fingers above my chest, indicating the location of the gunshot in comparison to my heart.

"Edward, even though my grandfather and I disagree about a lot of things, I do accept some of his wisdom. He is notorious for saying that luck is really just the hand of God giving us the opportunity to right wrongs. For him, it was whether or not he linked the clues on a big case; thereby giving the next victim the chance to not be a victim. For you, this is about really starting from this point forward and making different and better decisions."

When she saw me nod in agreement, she smiled. She was already beautiful, but when she did so, she was blinding. I immediately wondered why she'd never married. For all I knew, she had a serious relationship…she was young, exquisite, intelligent, and extremely successful in her field. NOT that getting married or having a relationship was the ultimate goal for everyone, but even with the required clinical detachment she had to have from me, I could tell she was an all-around good person. I could imagine anyone feeling lucky to have her as a companion.

"Bella…you've spoken?" she asked softly.

"Yes…as best as possible while I'm drugged up and lying in a hospital. She is going to give me a chance!" I couldn't help the joy that infused my voice as I said it and the broad smile that broke across my face. "She's here now; actually, she hasn't left since we got here. She just went with one of my visitors. If you can stay, I would like for you to meet her as well." The words were said as more of a question than anything, knowing she had to maintain certain ethical boundaries.

"I would like that, but does she know about me?"

"No." I snickered. "No one does, but there is no better time than now. Can you see how that would have gone if I hadn't made it?" I did my best impression of Elizabeth's voice. "Mr. Cullen, I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm the woman that at least tried to clean up the mess in his head."

She actually broke out into peals of laughter, eliciting my own, just as the door opened and my father, Bella, and Demetri walked in.

**Bella POV**

"Hey Beautiful!" Demetri called out, catching my attention. He was stepping off the elevator just as I turned the corner of the hallway from returning Samantha to her room for a nap.

"Deme!"

It was good to see him, and my mouth watered when I saw the basket he was carrying. Was it too much to hope that Sulpicia had sent some of her homemade Pasta e Fagioli and breadsticks? My prayer was answered when he stepped closer and the smells emanating from the basket wafted over me. My stomach growled loudly, and he grinned at the noise before kissing my forehead.

"Uncle Aro called Dr. Cullen and asked what Edward might be able to eat. Aunt Cia got busy. I suggested the breadsticks so that you can feed them to him." He smirked in a very feral manner.

"Ah…" I snorted but felt the need to bitch a little "…you have no clue. The man has gone all Victorian on me."

The glee that lit his eyes should have been a warning. "Well, if the breadsticks and buttery fingers don't work, I can always make him jealous," he suggested, adopting a very sultry look and stepping toward me in a provocative manner.

It was very convincing, and I saw several of the nurses freeze in their steps, overwhelmed by his magnetism.

"Stop, or I'll throw you to the wolves," I threatened, nodding in the general vicinity of some of the women fluffing their hair. Edward had been declared officially off the market by most of them, but it didn't mean his friends weren't up for grabs.

He clearly caught my threat and laughed softly. Unfortunately, it came off as a seductive purr and several of the nurses began to step our way, like cats drawn to cat-nip. Feeling only a tad sorry for him, I linked my arm through his and began to guide him toward the room. Carlisle met us at the next intersection, wheeling a seated walker in front of him.

"You're actually going to attempt to get him up?" I asked in an amazed voice. Edward had only awakened yesterday…wasn't it a little too early?

After shaking Demetri's hand and eyeing the basket with greed when the aromas hit him, Carlisle enlightened me. "Patients who survive these types of wounds…many still die from the secondary infections, mostly Pneumonia. If he doesn't get up and move around, he could easily contract it. He isn't out of danger yet."

I hadn't thought of that. The fear took hold, and suddenly I was willing to do whatever was necessary to get him walking…even stripping naked in front of him if necessary. My irreverent chuckle drew Carlisle's attention.

"I'm certain I don't want to know what just went through your head." He said it more as a question.

With a big smile, I told him, "No, probably not."

Just steps from the room, I was caught off guard by loud laughter and when Carlisle opened the door, I felt as if hell had swallowed me whole. Sitting in my seat was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, and she was laughing at a smiling Edward. They looked entirely comfortable with each other…too comfortable. Talons of jealousy sank themselves deeply into my heart, and I stopped walking, unable to move for fear of falling apart.

One of his many lovers?

I couldn't compete with her…her natural grace and overwhelming beauty. When she turned to see us, it was as if the painters of old had fashioned a masterpiece. Platinum blond hair falling in waves about her shoulders, bright blue eyes, a face formed by the gods and from what I could see of her body…immaculate. She stood with a smile on her face, and I realized she was probably just under six foot tall. Perfect for Edward in comparison to me.

Edward was waving me over to him with a big smile on his face, which perplexed me. Did he really think that this was okay? Demetri put his free hand to the small of my back and surreptitiously nudged me forward. It helped dispel the murderous rage I was grappling with. I was imagining my hands wrapped around her throat. To stop now would show weakness, and that was something I would never do, but each step seemed to kill off a little more of the brief joy I'd snatched.

As soon as I got close enough, Edward grabbed my hand pulling me to where I stood between his legs. How could he not feel how rigid I was?

"Bella, Dad, Demetri…" I couldn't believe he was being so calm. "…I would like to introduce you to Dr. Paschal." A freaking doctor as well. I wanted to scratch her perfectly formed eyes out. "She's my psychiatrist."

It was as if a bomb had gone off. I wondered what my face looked like, because Carlisle's was pretty hilarious and Demetri's was shell-shocked. He was staring at the woman like she was a bug. I recovered, but not quickly enough. Dr. Paschal had a look that told me that she knew what we'd all assumed.

Okay, so I wasn't perfect…

"It's nice to meet you, Bella. I feel as if I know you already from all that Edward has told me about you. I'm sorry we have to meet under such circumstances."

She held out her hand for me to shake and squeezed mine gently. It was woman code for "Truce."

Psychiatrist?

"Psychiatrist?" Carlisle said in a strained tone, voicing my question. "You are Dr. Elizabeth Paschal?" I'd never seen Carlisle lose his composure except for when Edward fell to the floor of the recital hall. This was only the second time.

"Yes," she said demurely.

"Howard Teten's granddaughter!" Demetri coughed out, and it was then that I saw what he was attempting to cover up.

The tingling across my skin solidified into a hum at the base of my skull. But I didn't know her well enough…

Elizabeth's eyes turned almost glacial. "Fed?"

I watched as Demetri transformed and pulled up to his full height. It was like watching a lion being challenged on the plains of Africa…mane standing out as an intimidation technique.

"Yes," he said with pride.

"Profiler?" she guessed, narrowing her eyes at him.

"But of course," he answered with pompous disdain.

It was as if I saw her dismiss him and his fury at it. Sparks flew between the two of them, and through the corner of my eye I saw Edward's head whipping back and forth between them in an attempt to discern what had just occurred.

"Dr. Cullen," she said with enough grace to make the Queen of England proud. She held her hand out in acknowledgement of Carlisle. He'd recovered to be his normally charming self.

Trying to reign in the chaos that had occurred, Edward cleared his throat before saying, "I've been seeing Elizabeth for just on a year. She's been helping me with…things."

Thank God I knew what he meant when he said "seeing Elizabeth" and "things," otherwise I would have lunged. But then my world righted when I turned to look fully at him. His eyes were on me and the love shining through them was clear…complicated…but clear. The band around my chest let loose, and I felt sad about my assumptions, even though a part of me rationalized I had good reasons for my feelings.

"She came to check on me because I missed our last appointment. I had to beg hard just to get her to keep me on as a client after our original contract was up, and being at each appointment on time is a non-negotiable term. It seems that I should have insisted on being wheeled into her office, since even being on death's door wasn't a good enough excuse."

I saw her crack a smile at his sarcasm and realized she had Edward's card. Suddenly, knowing she wasn't a complication from the past, I liked her…a lot.

"Therapy?" Carlisle said in a stunned voice, and then he glanced over to Edward in astonishment and a huge dose of growing happiness.

"Dissection, really." Edward snorted at Elizabeth. "I'm glad though you've gotten to meet."

Dr. Paschal reached to get her purse and then shook my hand again. "Dr. Cullen, Ms. Swan, it has been a privilege to meet you." She'd purposely left out Demetri. "I have other appointments, but I was in the area of the hospital and wanted to take the opportunity to check on Edward. I'll give you leave on those weekly meetings until you are released from the hospital," she told him, with just the right amount of authority.

"Right, because we would sure hate for you to miss out on the opportunity to mess with someone's head," Demetri murmured in a biting tone.

To her credit, Elizabeth barely acknowledged him until right before she sailed regally out the door. "Bye Tracker…good luck with your chase."

He hissed at the door when it shut, and then had the grace to blush when I looked at him in confusion and a good deal of reproach. "I hate Shrinks," he said quickly, as if that should explain it away. When he saw that I didn't back down, he added, "Profiling is a science, we have a pattern and flow that helps us know what to look for and expect. Those quacks come in and throw in unknowns, saying they can heal people. Most of the time the only thing that can fix them is the bite of a bullet or a ride in the electric chair."

Then as if he'd realized he'd just called Edward's doctor a quack, he blushed again and said, "I didn't mean any disrespect, I'm sure she is perfectly appropriate for you." Then realizing how that sounded…as if he thought Edward was the progeny of a quack, he just huffed. "Maybe I'd better just shut up. Want some soup?" he offered up as a peace offering.

Edward snickered at Demetri, but the look he traded with me was loaded. It seemed to say, _What was that all about?_

I shrugged.

"Edward, I suggest you get the exercise out of the way first, before you eat. That way if you get nauseous you don't waste a perfectly good meal."

Carlisle was right. I'd had this soup a multitude of times, and it wasn't something to pass up on.

"Need my help," Demetri asked of Carlisle and Edward, knowing that it was going to be a concerted effort to get Edward down the hallway and back.

"If you're up for abuse," Edward muttered already mentally preparing to stand. The stark white color he turned when he did concerned me, but I saw the bare shake of Carlisle's head. He was warning me to let Edward struggle with it.

"I'll get this heated up," I offered, knowing that I was a wimp.

"'kay," Edward managed. He smiled then…it was a pained one, but it was a smile. "I'll be back in a few minutes," he promised.

And I'd have something decent waiting for him to eat, already mentally unpacking the noodles I'd have to add to the soup and nuke in the microwave down the hall. Upon entering the hallway, I watched as he walked behind the contraption, his dad at one side, Demetri at the other. His gait was slow and painful, and he favored his left side. I could only imagine that it hurt like hell. Turning the other way, I went for the nurses' station, knowing that I'd be able to sneak use of the microwave from there.

While it heated, causing several nurses to poke their heads in and groan at the smell, I thought about what had just happened.

My jealousy had been immediate and intense. I'd never wanted to strangle someone so much. It was a clear indication that Edward and I had a lot to work out still. How did you sort through so many years of being apart? Through so many mistakes? I knew without a doubt that I still loved and longed for Edward, but it would also take time to build the trust and work through the hurt. How did we take the first step? How did I do it while still being respectful and true to myself?

I would admit to the fact I was putting off dealing with all those thoughts and emotions for the immediate need to get him healthy and out of here. Life and death kind of took on number one priority when you were faced with it. But we would have to wade into some very harsh subjects soon.

The microwave dinged, pulling me back to the moment. Stirring in the noodles, I turned it back on.

The physical part of our relationship would probably be the easiest to fix…get naked…problem solved. I couldn't stop the giggle that tore out of me and quickly looked around the empty nurses' retreat to make sure that no one had been watching. They'd think I was a crazy woman. But the jealousy I'd felt when I thought Dr. Paschal was one of his conquests had made me realize that while the physical part of intimacy would be easy…the emotional part might not be so. Edward had been right, when I'd challenged him about his previous actions. It might kill me, but I needed to be able to trust him first. I'd asked the question, because I really just wanted to see how he would answer it. Whether his answer would be greedy or respectful, blasé or well thought out. I was testing him, I knew, but couldn't help it. And his answer had shown just how much thought he had put into it. His willingness to give me control had shocked me, but it was clever of him to allow me that power.

Yes, going slow was the best idea…damn it…but it was going to kill me. I wanted to growl in frustration. I was no angel, and no one had ever been able to elicit the responses he had from my body. It was probably the wrong analogy to make, but he was just the right "fix" for me.

I moved to grab the basket Demetri had handed over and pulled the first pot from the appliance placing it inside and pulling the second one out. Cia had made too much, but from the look on Carlisle's face, I knew he would be like a kid in a candy store given the chance to have some.

The Cullens were another thing. The thought of being cold and un-emotional with them had flown out the door with the almost tragedy we'd faced, but just like with Edward, we had to refashion our relationships. Alice was determined to spend time with me, having clearly said that it was the only way we would heal. I agreed. I'd expected that she would tell me we were going shopping, and she'd squealed with a "of course that will happen, Silly," but then she'd admitted that she'd like for me to see her paintings more. It would seem that little Alice had funneled some of that excess energy into something other than retail therapy. I was curious; I had to admit.

The ding told me the second pot was ready, so loading up the goodies, I made my way back to the room, straightened out the bed, and set up a plate of food for Carlisle. I'd seen them down the hallway, making their way back. Edward seemed labored, and I refused to think on it…but the images of the robust man who'd stepped back into Carlie's recital hall flashed through my mind. We would get back there, I swore.

I jumped up though when they came back through the door, and I saw the sweat beading across his forehead and across his lips. His hair was darkened and plastered to his skull in places. Breathing in uneven gasps, he barely made it to the bed before all but collapsing onto it. A sheen of perspiration covered him. Carlisle went to the machine, and I saw him begin to adjust a level, but Edward's words stopped his hand.

"Dad, no! Not until later, like we spoke about." He had to stop to catch his breath before he could speak again. "The pain…it gives me something to focus on."

Demetri actually looked sick, and I could tell that he was shocked by how frail Edward really was. Seeing how sticky he looked, the first thing I decided he needed besides soup was a quick wipe down. Going over to the bag that Alice had packed, I rummaged around to find some long sleep shorts and t-shirt. They might be too cool for Edward to sleep in, but it was better than the light flannel he was wearing now.

"Carlisle, can you get him into these?" I asked, holding up the shorts.

He tried to control the quirk of his lip, but he nodded quickly. While I went to the bathroom, he and Demetri made quick work of it.

"Look, Beautiful, I've got to go." Demetri stuck his head into the bathroom where I was getting a small container of water and washcloths ready. He moved to my side and hugged me quickly.

"Deme, you okay. I know we've known each other only a little while, but the whole thing with Edward's shrink…"

His eyes darkened, and it was what I'd needed to see. Contrary to the words I knew would come next, I made the decision to throw the two together somehow and let the fireworks take over…it was going to be a riot watching them.

"Yeah, I just have a natural aversion to people who think they can fix everything. Certain things are just…unsalvageable." His face was set in stone, as he looked back at me in the mirror.

"Okay, well I guess that it's a good thing you don't have to spend time with her."

I saw the twist of his mouth. _Ah Deme…you are so…wrapped._

"Have fun with that sponge bath, Isabella. The man used all of his energy getting back here. Torture him with that first, and then use the breadsticks." He waggled his eyes at me and then took off running from my response. His good natured laughter stopped only long enough for him to wish Carlisle and Edward well before he exited the room.

I entered to find Carlisle devouring the bowl I'd set out for him and several pieces of Cia's homemade bread. He saw my amusement.

"I'd forgotten just how good a cook Cia was," he murmured, but then popped the last piece of lightly baked bread into his mouth.

Edward had closed his eyes and was leaning back against the raised bedding. The black sleep shorts really set off how pale he looked, but the sight of his naked chest almost did me in. Heat flashed across my skin, and in that moment I really questioned my sanity for thinking I could touch him. Then the sight of the bruising on his left side wiped away any lust. The white padding of bandaging seemed entirely too big.

"I'd just changed the bandaging, so I took the outer layer off. He was still dry underneath, so I didn't want to have to take them off again."

A small moan of gratitude from Edward let me know that one, he was still awake, and two, that the thought of re-bandaging the area was more than he could take at the moment. Sweat still poured across his forehead, and I wondered how much was from pain, how much was from the reduction of the narcotics, or the combination of the two. I'd told him I was here through thick and thin, so it seemed the best time to prove that to him.

Bringing the towels and water over that I'd brought with me, I put my hand under his shoulder and lifted to put several towels behind his head and picked up a small plastic cup. Seeing his dazed green eyes looking at me in question, I let him know, "I'm going to at least get the sweat off you Edward, and I'll start with your hair first."

His gasp almost covered up Carlisle rising.

"Bella, I took care of everything under the shorts. The rest is yours," he said softly before leaving the room.

As soon as the door closed behind him, it seemed as if the heat went up about thirty degrees. I blamed the shaking of my hands on it, but took a deep breath and let some of the water flow from the cup over the crown of Edward's head, the roll of toweling catching it before it wet the bed behind him. I forced myself to continue…ignoring the raspy breaths coming out of him…until his head and neck were saturated, and then I used a new towel to dry the water away, skimming over the skin of his toned back. Grabbing a washcloth, I put it into the container and then squeezed the icy cold water out of it before turning back to wash his face.

The heat in his gaze mesmerized me, and while my eyes remained locked with his, my hand, as if by memory, brushed caressingly across his forehead, cheekbones, and nose. A second squeeze of the cloth found me at his lips, and he moaned in pleasure as I rubbed the cool cloth across them and then down his neck. As if by instinct, he turned as if to kiss the inside of my arm but then froze.

"Bella…" he groaned. The sound was deep, needy, and sensual.

It was actually nice to hear, because I was about to come apart at the seams…and it seemed I was in good company. "Hush... I can't take this if you distract me." I placed the cool cloth against the top of his shoulder, ready to smooth across the heavy, sleek muscles there. The curve of his neck enflamed me and I realized I wanted to bite him…taste him. I actually eyed it like it was a treat.

"Bella!" he growled, and the sound snapped through my distraction at his skin.

When I met his eyes this time, I knew I wouldn't be able to finish the job. Neither one of us would survive it. I was panting in need, and I saw that he too was having difficulty breathing. I held the white cloth out like a flag of surrender. His hand shook as he took it from me, and I did my best not to break as he ran it quickly, weakly across his skin. I almost did for an entirely different reason though when he groaned in pain, having pulled up one of his legs to wash across it. Finally, done, he collapsed back.

"Thank you," he gruffly said as I took the cloth from him.

"Uh huh," I replied, still dazed from the contact. "Soup?" I croaked out. All thoughts of "seduction by bread" had fled. Again, all I needed to really remember was that touching him was enough.

"Please," he responded. "And while we eat, I would like for you to tell me how you felt when you thought Elizabeth and I were lovers."

"Why?" I cried out, realizing how deep that conversation would be, and that I was embarrassed that he'd noticed.

"Because, I know that it is one of the issues we need to face, and honestly, I need your venom right now. Maybe it'll help cool my ardor." He smirked slightly, shaking his head from side to side as if to dispel the lust induced cobwebs in his head. "Call me greedy, but I'm seeing it as at least a step in the right direction." He glanced sideways at me, and I saw that his eyes were glued to my lips. His preoccupation pleased me, and I bit my lower lip with my upper teeth.

"Oh dear God, Bella. Soup! Please!" he swore out, and it made my day. The shudder that racked him didn't hurt things either.

"Okay, but you know I am going to have to feed it to you," I pointed out the fact that he was exhausted and that his hands were shaking against the blanket he'd pulled over him.

"Oh, I know…"

It was hard not to laugh at the little boy sound to his voice. Like his father had been with the soup, it was if he was a greedy child in a candy store, desirous of the treat before him…me…but knowing that such indulgence could be the one thing that increased his discomfort.

"This is going to be hard," I noted of our attempts to work around the attraction between us.

He squirmed and darkly muttered something that suspiciously sounded like, "You have no idea…

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><p><strong>Thoughts? You know that reviews are an author's heroin…so to speak. ;)<strong>

**Reviews will get to see Tanya…and Aro's visit to her. Smile.**


	38. SOMP Outtake TanyaAro

**Due to epic failure between FF and my computer, the outtake for reviews wouldn't go through in PMs as promised. First, I didn't get notification for most of the reviews (leading me to think no one liked the last chapter). And...when I finally figured out they were posting but not emailing, FF won't let me link with you personally. I spent 15 minutes getting just one to go through. I'm so sorry!**

**So, instead of not sending it, which would really frustrate me...I'm posting as a freebie outtake. **

**If I can get through, I'll be sending you personal emails!**

**Please be aware that this outtake contains references to drugs and violence. If these are triggers for you, you may want to skip reading. Please - this is fairly graphic. I mean it...**

**And by the way, this is totally unbetaed...please forgive any errors.**

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><p><strong>Tanya POV<strong>

Freezing…

I'd been so warm a few minutes ago, but now, I couldn't find the feeling again. The cold shut off, then it was back with a vengeance. I gasped at the sensation and then began choking as liquid ran down my throat. Coughing, I startled awake to find myself lying across a tile floor. I knew this tile…only the finest from Pietra Firma, and I'd deserved it for the spa masterpiece I'd designed.

Pushing the wet mess of my hair off my face, I looked up to see my estranged husband looking down at me, a neutral expression on his face.

"Son of a bitch!" I shouted at him, and he shut the water off, turning around to step out of the shower and leave the room.

My head throbbed from the echoing of my voice within the cavernous area of tile and glass to the point I was almost nauseous…then the feeling won out and vomit spewed from me all over the Italian marble. Acidic, rank, alcohol infused vomit that made me retch over and over. I wanted him to come back then, to at least turn the water back on to wash the vile stuff away.

Finally forcing myself up from the floor, I reached out and turned on warm water, washing my hair and body. It was only as I was toweling myself dry that the realization that Garrett was here took hold.

The baby!

Rushing through the littered and pungent bedroom, I threw on a robe, brushing my hair on the way. I slowed to a demure walk after taking the stairs down to the main level, assuming they would be in the kitchen. It wouldn't do for him to see me less than calm. And perfect… I hadn't forked out a bunch of money for surgeries to ensure I looked my best even in the morning for nothing.

Garrett sat at the kitchen table…alone.

"Where's the baby?" I screeched.

His dead eyes looked directly into mine and then he sneered. "She's at my home being monitored by a nurse, Tanya, still detoxing from whatever junk you put into your system just before she was born."

I froze, panic infusing me. It had only been a little…just to take the edge off.

"I don't know that you even deserve what I'm going to say, but considering at one time I loved you more than life itself, I'll clear my conscience by telling you that the authorities have been notified. You'll most likely be brought up on charges of child cruelty. You might want to get your father to find you a good attorney. But as for me, here are my demands." He slid a folder across the table toward me. "My attorney said I shouldn't give you anything, but this house…it means nothing to me anymore. Everything here I once held sacred has been defiled." Fury rose in me until he said the next words. "By the way, I threw the man out who was sleeping in our bed before I put you in the shower. Did you at least use protection?"

The shock of knowing he'd found the man here stunned me; I'd thought he'd left…and then the horror that I didn't know the answer to Garrett's question sank in.

He shook his head in disgust, standing as if to leave.

"Don't!" I begged, as the emotions that had been held in check raced through me.

I couldn't lose him. He was the only one who'd truly ever loved me. The stricken look to his face gave me hope, until he spoke.

"There is nothing left for us. When we first met, you were a different person. Then things seemed to change after we married. But, your willingness to speak with that family gave me hope that finally you were growing up a little, and that maybe we had a chance. After the last few years, I realized that I'd been a fool, and that the woman you were when we met was really the false one."

He stepped back when I went to touch him. "The only positive thing that came out of us is Lexie, and I will fight you for her. You won't win; I assure you. Straighten up, and if you don't go to jail, we'll speak about visitation. But for now, I've been advised by my counsel to not let you near her."

"She's not even yours!" I spit out, and then cringed at the falsehood, but it was a good way to hurt him, which is what I wanted to do.

"Maybe not, but I really don't care. She's mine."

"Wait!" I screamed as he began to walk out.

"Goodbye, Tanya."

I knew from the tone, it was final. There would be no winning him back, and suddenly, with crystal clarity, I became aware of what I'd just lost. The emptiness that had always been in my chest raged…his love of me had been the only thing keeping me together for so long. The shock kept me immobile too long, and by the time I raced through the front door intent on pleading with him, he was pulling out of the drive. I screamed for him to stop, but he kept going as if he didn't hear me. The neighbors did though, and I saw the nosy one looking at me, snubbing her nose in my direction. I hated her…and that prude of a husband standing behind her. Flicking my middle finger at them, I intentionally let my robe go and gave the old biddy and her prune a show before marching back into the house to rip open the envelope.

Divorce papers…

And the waterworks began, because even in being "through with me," Garrett was being…Garrett. He was giving me the house, half the money, and the vacation home in Hawaii. I would be a wealthy woman…but somehow it suddenly didn't amount to much. His only stipulation, no contact with him except in the event of arranging visitation.

Grabbing handfuls of my hair, I put my face to the table and began to sob…great ugly tears of pain.

"Perhaps you should have considered how your husband would react to your philandering before you engaged in it."

I startled up and saw Aro Velathri standing in the doorway leading toward the kitchen. How the hell had he gotten in? There was nothing but woods to the back.

"Actually and more importantly, you should ask yourself how I feel about your show of disobedience to my dictates," he murmured, looking down to smooth his gloved hands across the unrelenting black of his outfit.

"Fuck you!" I spat at him and before I thought about it raced forward to slap him.

The strength of his grip as he captured both wrists scared me, and I cried out. It was then I realized that they were bruised and flashes of the night before ran through my mind. The guy I'd brought home had used handcuffs on me, and my wrists were badly bruised. Aro's strength and the tenderness held me still. Looking up, I froze. Gone was the genteel man that flaunted himself on the television. Instead, before me was something far darker than I'd ever imagined. A chill washed over me at the cold blackness of his eyes.

"Your date really should have taken better care of you, but I must say that it well benefits me."

My robe had come open during my flight, and he looked down over me. I thought for a moment that I could use this, but the glee I saw in his eyes was not of a sexual nature.

"Tsk…tsk…so many bruises. How nice for me. Any you add during our struggle will be easily overlooked. With those words, he began pulling me toward the stairs. "I need a little more time to lapse, so that the gentleman who was your husband will have a credible alibi. They always suspect the spouse first, and that baby of yours deserves a parent. He seems, from all accounts, to be a good man, and I would certainly hate to have to defend him against my own actions."

Garrett was…I realized too late. But what did the demon mean?

When we hit the stairs, I started to falter, suddenly not wanting to go up them with him. Falling to my knees, I cried out as the bruises there suddenly became apparent.

"The boy you brought home…he was inept to leave such abrasions on you." He murmured darkly, but with unexplainable good humor.

Who the hell was this…he was strong beyond anything I could imagine, especially to be his age.

"Get up, or I will pull you up them. As I said, the timing of the bruises will coincide nicely enough. Particularly considering the mess I saw of your bedroom while I waited for Mr. Martling to leave."

He would, I realize…drag me up the stairs. Was he seriously that sick that he needed to force someone into sex, I wondered. Thinking that maybe I could seduce and then trick him, I rose and followed him up and into my bedroom. The stench when we reached it was horrid. The fresher odor of vomit seemed strongest, but the smell of sex and Heroin was clear. We'd smoked, but the guy had also brought needles. I'd wanted the high, so I'd tried and discovered a rush. Garrett's word suddenly took on new meaning. Had I shared a needle? Dear God, what had I done!

I'd think about that tomorrow, knowing I needed to outwit the surprisingly strong man in front of me. "So…what would you like?" I asked in my best sex voice, lowering my eyes at him seductively.

He laughed hard, and I started to see red. But my humor stopped with his next words.

"What I want is for you to die quickly, because I'm ready to go home to my wife. I detest such vulgarity, but this one is all mine, and unfortunately, I can't do it as expediently as I would like. You went against what I told you do to Ms. Martling. You hurt two individuals exceedingly precious to me. I warned you, and you chose to ignore my sage advice."

His words finally registered, and the panic took control. As hard as possible, I began struggling against him, but it was futile…his strength again surprising me. In a move I didn't even see, he spun so that my arms twisted behind me. I felt the snap of one of the handcuffs before I even realized I was near the bed. He moved pulling me down to the wrecked sheets, and then the second one was in place as well. I kicked at him with my legs, only serving to expose myself like a cheap whore.

With his covered fingers, he plucked the edge of my robe up and pulled it back over me. "I have no need for what you offer, Ms. Martling. Far more desirable and polished women than you have tried. My wife is beautiful beyond measure and has my full dedication and esteem, as she has from the moment we met."

"Fuck you, mother fucker! You aren't going to kill me; you don't have the balls. And when I get to the police, I'll bring every one of you down. Your little empire, your brothers, that bitch and her whelp that you are taking up for…all of them…"

Steepling his hands before him, he gazed at me from across the bed, as calm as a cucumber. He grinned at me in an ingratiating manner, as if what I'd said was amusing.

For what seemed hours, but was more likely just one, he stood beside my bed almost like a stone statue while I hurled insults at him and attempted to wiggle free of the cuffs. Finally, just when I thought he was simply getting off on the show, his phone rang, and he reached inside his pocket to pull it out. Tapping on it, his face seemed to glow with good will at what he saw.

"Your husband has arrived home. Much to his surprise, he has visitors. It is the Division of Children and Family Services. You know, when they do a home visit they are there for hours the first time. What better alibi could I have arranged for him?"

I was certain my eyes bugged out, and I jerked toward him, only to scream out in pain when the handcuffs cut around the already abused flesh of my wrists.

"I'm doing this as a favor to you, you know. I credit you partial responsibility for bringing my daughter to me and my wife. Without your need to manipulate, she might never have crossed my path. It is only for that reason that I have taken the extra precautions to ensure that he will have an airtight defense. Your little show for the neighbors didn't hinder my plan, since they clearly saw him leave and you still sober."

The hair on my neck stood up when I saw him bring a covered needle out from his pants.

Another tap on his screen and I heard movement down stairs. Within a few moments, an unfamiliar man walked into the room.

"Santiago…her legs please," he motioned over to me like I was a piece of meat on a slab.

The man moved toward me and even with me kicking, he managed to grasp my feet and then lay his body over my legs. Aro removed the cap from the needle, and as I screamed and attempted to move, he deftly utilized the advantage of my outstretched handcuffed arm and inserted the needle just above the bruises of my fledgling tries of the previous evening. The tingling flush told me what he'd just shot me up with…heroin. What I'd done last night, but this was stronger.

Deadly…I realized.

Cold disbelief took over.

"This is such an inelegant way for me to keep my word. But you see, I've been having you watched for awhile and the name of the game is to fool the authorities. So the death I would like to serve you must be forsaken for something more…plausible. It wouldn't do for anyone to be a suspect, and I certainly don't want your soon to be widower to deal with that."

The tears were falling down my face in great rivers. He wasn't going to allow me to die, was he? The warm flush over my skin was beginning to make me feel heavy, even as the euphoria started to take over. I giggled thinking I didn't even care…I'd lost everything anyway.

"This is a kindness I am doing…your husband will be able to create a wonderful mother of your memories. Your daughter will grow up believing that deep down you were a good woman. Only we will know the truth."

The other man began looking intently around me with a magnifying glass, and as he lifted my head and shoulders I wanted to snap at him, but couldn't find the energy. Finally, picking up one of the needles I'd used from the previous evening, he deposited it close to my side, and I realized that anyone walking in on me would assume it was the one I'd used last to get high.

"Boss, fingerprints should be on this one. I don't find any trace…"

"Very well, thank you. I'll meet you at the car in a minute."

He left and the black headed demon looked to me again. My legs and arms were so heavy that when he unhandcuffed me, I couldn't move. Pulling me down the bed by the toes, he left me sprawled across the filthy sheets.

"You won't suffer…mores the pity."

It appeared that he put the needle back in his pocket and looked around the room one more time.

"I would say this is from Isabella, but she is too soft heartened to even consider this type of retribution. So understand then that it is from me. I protect what is mine, Ms. Martling."

Without another word, he walked out.

The room grew misty, rose colored as the rush of feeling continued through me. For once in my life, I felt happy, like all my cares were gone, and I was floating on a warm cloud. Somewhere in the distance, I heard the baby crying and hoped that Garrett would get her, wake her up. She seemed in pain, this baby I heard. Alone… And somehow I thought she must have always been that way.

But what was I to care, the warmth of my fix lulled me, and I surrendered to it.


	39. Thawing

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I couldn't do this without you, as you well know!**

**So sorry that my Aro outtake disturbed some! I promise that there is a reason for it. Those that have read my vamp stories can tell you – nothing ever happens in my stories without a purpose. **

**Not the most exciting of chapters, but an important one for beginning the forgiveness.**

* * *

><p>"<em>Please," he responded. "And while we eat, I would like for you to tell me how you felt when you thought Elizabeth and I were lovers."<em>

**Bella POV**

"The first time I heard about you was when Leah forced me to go to this fancy spa downtown. The women were gossiping about an event coming up. I believe most of them were there to get prettied up for it. Anyhow, the big talk was the eligible bachelors that would be in attendance. Your name was thrown out, and there was a flurry of discussion as to who you would be with."

I could still remember the unrelenting pain when I'd heard them talk about him…calling him a playboy and elusive. Lifting the spoon to give him a bite, I noticed that he continued to look directly at me, even after opening his mouth and taking in the delicious smelling stuff. While he chewed slowly at the noodles, I continued.

"I just remember feeling such anger. There was a part that was mad that they were talking about you, and then there was just as big a part that was livid that they had the right to speak about you. Later that week, I asked one of my friends at the local coffee shop if your picture had made the paper. They generally carried the local ones, as well as the national syndicates. She took a break and came over to describe it to me. You were with some redhead she described as pasty."

It had been a tremendously painful moment for me, being that it was the first time I'd heard of him being with anyone since Tanya. Dipping the spoon again into the big bowl, I moved to place it between his lips. His eyes were intent, but he was remaining quiet, letting me define how this would occur.

I'd once listened to a survivalist show with Jake. He loved the stuff, claiming that it might come in handy someday when we were lost in the woods. I'd wanted so many times to tell him that the likelihood of getting me to wander deep into the woods was about a million to one. Although, now that I had my sight partially back, it might actually intrigue me. However, I just remember laughing as Jacob, the Pansy, had gagged in a few places at what he was seeing on the TV screen. He'd described it, of course, in lurid detail …the guy puncturing a festering wound so that the toxins could quickly drain out. The effect of which would be to leave the raw wound clean in hopes that it would begin to repair itself…to heal.

It seemed almost as if this was the same premise, but I was walking on eggshells wondering if the time to do it was really now. Looking across at Edward's now covered chest, the thought ran through my mind that we had enough wounds to contend with at the moment. He needed to know though, and unless we opened the sore and excised the poison, the healing couldn't start. I deserved this moment, to let him know how it had felt, because I might be willing to see where this led between us, but I certainly didn't think everything was "hunky-dory." Edward and I may only come out of this co-parents and possibly friends, even though I wouldn't deny my desire for more.

He'd remained silent during my contemplation, but I saw his eyes flickering over my face assessing me.

"It hurt, and that was only compounded as year after year I heard of your foray through the beautiful women in the city." He closed his eyes for a bare moment and swallowed harshly. "But Tanya was the worst, Edward. By the time I heard about the others, I'd long come to accept that you'd never loved me to begin with." He gasped, and I saw his shaking hands clench on the covers. "But when you left me and went to her, I still believed that what we had was real, and I couldn't understand. You ripped my heart out and left it throbbing on the ground."

I was surprised that my hand was steady as I raised the spoon to him again. Seeing that he was about to refuse, I glared at him, and he capitulated.

"I found out about her from a couple of the guys at the Rez. Jake didn't want to tell me, because he knew what it would do to me. I'd already met her, of course, when I came to the house, so the visual of you and her together was one I could easily produce. Every night in my nightmares I saw you kissing her, being intimate with her, holding her. I'd never thought I was good enough for you and believed you deserved better…" his groan of pain was audible, but I ignored it "…so it was easy for me to understand, at that time, why you would chose her over me. I thought I was sick because of the depression and lack of sleep when I began throwing up and feeling lethargic. So it took me some time to realize what was really happening."

Even though I could tell it took all his strength, he held his hand up this time to stop the flow of soup. He looked nauseous, so I decided not to press him for a few moments.

"Then the torture started all over, because you wouldn't return my calls, and I couldn't get anyone to listen to me. I just knew if I could get just one of you to hear me that you wouldn't let our child go without your love and acceptance, but it wasn't to be."

It would have been easy for Edward to look away from me, to not face what he'd done. At the very least, it would have been expected for him to close his eyes in order to block out the intimacy of facing me and the results of his actions. But he didn't…strained, nauseous, hurting, and repentant…he maintained eye contact in order that he might see how it had all really affected me. Here was a glimpse of the boy I'd thought I'd known, decided hadn't really existed, and was rediscovering in the man who'd been fashioned out of fate and bad choices.

"What I thought was pain from your initial rebuff was but a walk in the park to what I went through then. Sick, pregnant, scared…I still couldn't eradicate the image of you and Tanya from my mind. When I went to see Alice, and she was so aloof, I knew it was really over…that I was going to have to walk away. I went home and told my dad that night."

Memories of Charlie's livid face washed through me, and I was the one that turned coward then, closing my eyes against the onslaught. When I found the strength to face Edward again, I found him continuing his silent perusal of me. His eyes relayed his sorrow in a way that words never could.

"He was furious and wanted to force his way into your home and confront your mother and father. I begged him not to, telling him that I would rather my child grow up around individuals who loved him or her, than people who were forced to live a life they didn't want to. Honestly, I played hardball by comparing you to Renee. Because of her flightiness and aloof attitude, my dad had often grumbled how it would have been better if I'd never known her. He really couldn't argue against my rationale when he'd utilized it so many times. We did some research then and found a home in Olympia that worked with teenage mothers."

Edward's control broke for a moment and a sob escaped. But he'd wanted to hear this, and I needed to tell him…to expunge the poison that had been sealed up inside…not really growing…but certainly not healing.

"It was an amazing facility, and the counselors there really helped me prepare for what I was going to be facing. There was never a question of me keeping the baby, so they helped me think through what I would have to do to prepare. Renee had never been much of a mother to me, so I was scared about whether or not I could love someone like that. They helped me see that being a parent was a good deal of choosing to do the right thing…because, you know at 2 a.m. when a baby has been crying all night from colic…you can't help but not like them."

I snickered at the memory, but the longing on Edward's face almost undid me. Certainly it was easy for him to think how "wonderful" that would be…but I could assure him it wasn't always. Then I had to stop and question my own pompousness. Something told me that Edward had held his nieces and nephews through many ills.

Shaking my head, I resumed telling him about my broken heart. "I decided to channel my dad when I thought about how I would want to love my child. He'd planned to retire, and we were going to find a house there so that we wouldn't be too far from Jake and Billy. I didn't want the baby growing up around Forks…" I left off thinking back to how I'd thought everyone might treat me and him or her. "Then I fell and everything changed. But that isn't the conversation for today. Being in love or being loved took a back seat for many years, and I've already told you how I felt on hearing of your escapades. To be honest Edward, it hurt, but it wasn't as if I sat and thought every time of how you were betraying me. We'd been over for years. Like I said, it was your being with Tanya that did me in. So if you think I'm going to ride you about all the women, you'll just have to torture yourself, because I won't. I don't like the decisions you made, and it does seem surreal to think you were using them as substitutes for me. Actually it is a little sick…" I shook my head slightly at him still attempting to digest that little nugget of information.

I put the spoon back into the bowl, and this time I didn't let him say no. He needed to eat, and it would absolutely be a sin for Cia's soup to go to waste. Or her breadsticks, I realized and sat the bowl down to tear several small pieces off and place them where Edward could pop them into his mouth.

"To get back to your original question, I think I reacted to Elizabeth so strongly because it was clear that there was a level of connection there. Of course, I didn't know what it really was, but my first thought when I saw her was that she was a woman from your past and that you'd lied to me. Clearly what you had with her wasn't just an 'arrangement.'"

Eyes glued to mine, Edward betrayed his level of disquiet by the fact he was tugging at his hair forcibly. It was an involuntary reaction of his; one that he'd had since we were teenagers.

"I'm not the girl you knew. You were right to say that we need to learn about one another again. I'm not conceited, but with being blind, my sense of self was established differently. I like who I am, Edward. I know that probably sounds odd for me to say, and I hope it isn't coming off as arrogant. But, I've gone through adversity and been able to come out the other side. The person I saw in the mirror actually surprised me. Without the hesitancy, insecurities, and fear I had as a kid, I could see me clearly." The blush must have turned my face beet red, and I saw Edward take it in and the unfocused look that took over. He'd always been intrigued and fascinated with my propensity to light up like Rudolph's nose. "I'm not that bad."

"Beautiful!" he murmured, breaking his self-imposed silence. "Gorgeous." "Perfect."

As quick as a blink, his gaze took me in, and I saw his reaction to me. It was a heady thing the power I had over him. I wasn't so cocky as to not realize he had the same over me, but right now I was the one in control. I stuffed a piece of bread into his mouth to keep him from going any further, and a degree of humor washed over his face. I didn't have to hear what he was saying in his mind, I was completely capable of interpreting the signals.

_Bossy!_

"But back then, I felt worthless and dowdy. I never understood what you saw in me in the first place, and after your words in the cafeteria what little bit of self-worth I had was gone."

Pain raced across his face. "Bella, I know you want to speak your mind, but may I?" he asked quickly, pleading with me.

I nodded and saw equal parts relief and fear take over. He took a deep breath as if to center himself before he began speaking. I saw the pain it caused him, and it was a poignant reminder of how we'd almost lost it all.

"I've thought for years about what I would say to you if given the chance to apologize for my behavior in the cafeteria. Years and years of intense and thoughtful introspection, and do you know what I came up with?" He waited to see me shrug my shoulders. "Nothing. There is absolutely nothing I could say to excuse what I did, how I acted, and the words I used. The word 'sorry' doesn't even come close to what needs to be said or done. I was out of control and really showed my true colors. I can't believe how wretched I was, and I can't explain that sort of behavior away. You shouldn't trust me, to know that those emotions and filth were somewhere buried deep inside. All I can hope is that that person will never appear again."

What could I say, it was as fine of an apology as I could expect. He wasn't sweeping his behavior under the rug, nor was he expecting it to just go away. He was also acknowledging how it must have hurt me.

"Bella." He waited for me to still. "You are not and never were a Bitch."

I gasped at the word, remembering it coming out in a much more vulgar manner.

"Bella." This time he struggled physically to place his hand upright on the bed near me. The silent question was clear. He was letting me know that he would like to touch me before he said anything else, but he wasn't going to force it. It was all about me having a choice. We both sighed when the connection was made, but it did worry me that his grip wasn't stronger. "You weren't a money grubbing whore, or plain, or conniving. You weren't pathetic or laughable. You weren't a waste of time or something to entertain me until someone better came along."

He took a deep breath and blinked several times in what appeared to be an attempt to keep from crying. I'd frozen…remembering the things he spoke, but in a younger, more slurred voice.

"I was the bastard who forgot that an angel had decided to grace me with her presence. I didn't deserve you then, but I want to be the man who does now. When I earn it, I ask that you consider giving me your forgiveness." His green eyes flashed at me, earnestness clear within their depths.

"Okay," I said softly, understanding his "sorry."

Repentant, honest, and holding himself up to the light of inspection humbly…this was the young man I'd fallen in love with. The talk could have been much more painful, and we could have examined him and his behaviors in scrupulous detail, but I realized it was enough. I wanted to heal, and this was just the first step. His behaviors and actions from here on out would really speak clearer than any words could.

I felt the drip of water then. It was just a drop to start, then another, followed by a small trickle. Flowing from the vicinity of my chest, the water of forgiveness slid over the frozen pieces that had been in stasis for so long. It was the beginning of the thaw of my heart.

Dipping the spoon back into the still warm soup, I brought a tender chunk of chicken to his lips. "Eat your soup, Edward."

"Yes M'am," he replied in what I assumed was his best impression of Jasper.

~SOMP~

"Okay, I have the washcloth warmed up so that we can wash your face and hands," I said, laughing slightly as I stepped out of the bathroom. I could remember having to get Carlie's just the right temperature or she'd squirm.

When he didn't answer me, I panicked, but then looked over to find him sound asleep, still leaning up against the slightly raised bed. Relaxed, his lips slightly open, he looked so young, almost carefree. Memories of him as a teenager ran through my mind, and it made me realize just how stressed he'd been the few times I'd seen him. I knew what I'd been through over the last years, but something made me wonder just what he'd felt. Without a doubt, Edward, even with his family, had been infinitely more alone than me.

I shook my head knowing I'd dumped a lot of emotions on him today, but my chest seemed a little lighter after we'd confronted at least one of the events and memories that haunted us. Moving forward, I ran the cloth across his face and then lifted his hands to do the same. He never stirred, and it was apparent that he was thoroughly exhausted by the things that had occurred. Most likely, he would sleep for hours.

Stretching and hearing my back pop at the movement, I realized it would be an extremely good time to get some work done, but my plans changed with the opening of the door. My daughter walked in, and her face was as brilliant as the sun. Seth followed with Jake and Leah in tow.

"Hey, Bella!" Jake grumbled. "Gosh, I just about forgot what you looked like," he snarked.

"Ass," I said back to him, throwing myself at Leah to give her a hug.

"We've come to serve as his protector…" she motioned to Edward "…so that you'll get out for a few minutes. Jake has you first, no questions or complaints."

Leah could be quite the dictator when she wanted to; it was the reason she'd been able to keep Jacob in check for so long. Her tone gave no room for argument, and knowing that Edward would probably be out for hours, I gave none. Secretly I was pleased, as I'd missed my personal sun. Without any warning, he grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door.

"You need to get some sun. You're looking too pale," he snickered.

It was a private joke of ours, because I was deathly white, and when put up against his or Leah's robust tans, the contrast made me look even worse.

"So where're we going?" I asked, already feeling better at the comfort of the warmth of his hand in mine.

"Coffee shop up the street. I hear they have killer muffins, and well, you know I'm always hungry."

I rolled my eyes at Jacob's metabolism. You'd think that since he'd reached thirty that God would let him have to worry about what he ate. No such luck. It was like he was the big man's personal pet.

Unexpected sunshine almost blinded me when I stepped through the doors to the outside. I must have blinked owlishly because Jake took the opportunity to comment. "Yeah…surprise…there is a life outside the hospital."

"Hush!" I retorted.

"Well, just making my point," he said, grinning broadly as we started up the sidewalk. "Bella, you have to take care of yourself as well. You forget that sometimes, and I have to remind you. That's my job." He bumped my side almost making me splatter to the ground. I probably would have had he not taken the time to throw his muscle bound arm around my shoulders.

"Jake, I swear to goodness that they must be feeding you steroids at that school."

He chuckled, totally unfazed by my sarcasm.

"Hey, thanks for watching over Carlie for the last few days. I'm sure she's kept you busy."

Snorting, he maneuvered us around a warning cone. "Bella, seriously? Like it is any different than what we've done for each other since we were kids. She has as much stuff stashed around the big house as she does the small one. Best thing about it…she's been stir crazy, so she's been practicing a lot. I've gotten some really good naps out of it."

I laughed freely, and it felt amazing to do so after the heavy conversations and worry of the last few days. Jake loved to listen to Carlie play piano. He'd actually bought a specific Laz-Z-Boy to go in the music room we'd set up in the big house. The room solely contained it and the grand piano that was Carlie's baby. I couldn't count the times that she'd complained about Jake's snoring interrupting her. She had one recording she'd managed where she caught him as she played Moonlight Sonata. He was totally unaware of it. She called it Death of the Swan and planned to play it in tribute to him at her and Seth's wedding. I was personally expecting fireworks.

"Either way, thanks," I insisted, as he reached out to pull the door open for me.

A plethora of scrumptious smells overwhelmed me as we walked into the small shop, and even after having eaten some of Cia's soup, my stomach grumbled. Jake smiled at the sound and waved me toward one of the tables. He knew my favorites almost as well as I did. Within just a few minutes, a steaming cup of latte and a Banana Nut muffin were before me. A miniscule offering in comparison to the smorgasbord he spread out across from me.

"What?" he grumped seeing my raised eyebrow.

"I just hope in another ten years, you have to watch what you eat. It would just be the epitome of epic unfairness if that didn't occur."

"English, Bella…English."

"I hope you are fat by forty."

He chuckled only a second before taking a huge bite out of some chocolate looking muffin. "I have to store up my energy to keep up with Leah." He patted his washboard abs and waggled his eyebrows at me suggestively.

I almost choked on the sip of coffee I'd just taken and was extremely grateful it didn't come out my nose.

"You and the redhead speaking about important things yet?" he asked almost too innocently.

I set my coffee down to narrow my eyes at him. But he was my best friend, with Leah only slightly behind, so he'd be the one to check on this, I knew. Suddenly, I was quite aware that Leah had sent us on this excursion so that he could assess me. Grinning, I settled down in the seat a little more and basked in the love of my small family.

"Yeah, but just baby steps." I admitted, and then told him about Edward's doctor and my reaction.

"Well at least he didn't feel like he had the right to get upset about your thoughts." He analyzed the remaining two muffins, and through some process only known to him, he picked out the pumpkin one to terrorize next.

Taking a fortifying sip of my coffee, I murmured, "He apologized for what happened in the cafeteria."

Jake's hand stopped midway, and several crumbs fell to the table when his hand tightened just a little too much on the half devoured treat. Black eyes bored into me as he waited for me to go further.

"He didn't even attempt to make it right by just saying sorry. Actually, he asked for my forgiveness in the future…when I felt he'd earned it."

"Humph!" he grumbled, but the muffin met its end, which was a good sign. "Okay, I can live with that. Do you really not feel any sort of hurt over all the women?"

"I'm not sure I can explain it right." At his wave of the hand I continued. "No…it's not…comfortable to think about them. But, it wasn't like we were together. Tanya…yeah that was different. We really haven't talked about her yet. The others, well, they were after us. Does that make sense?"

He shrugged, and I knew that meant he wanted me to keep going.

"I don't know. I mean, I'm not ready to just jump into bed with him anyway. Well…" remembering the kiss and bath, I blushed "…I am ready for that, but I'm not ready for it, if you know what I mean." I huffed out, and then laughed because he was using his fists to rub at his eyes like he was trying to get rid of the visual.

"Spare me the details okay?" he asked, then had the grace to blush when I gave him an arched look. I knew far more than I should about him and Leah. "I just want you to take it slow. I know that nothing I say is going to keep you away from him, but I'm going to trust your good sense to not let your hormones overrule you too much. You know I love you, and that I just want you happy. Even if it is with him…" he left off the words and then growled.

It was very magnanimous of him. Seeing just how painful this was for him, I jumped up and moved to sit in the booth beside him. As if by instinct, his arm settled around my shoulders, and he kissed the top of my hair.

"I'll be here no matter what," he murmured.

"I know, and I love you too."

We sat that way for a few minutes…Jake's lips pressed to my head, me leaning against him. We'd faced many a crisis this way. It was just that way between us, no words needed.

"So…I have to be nice to him now?" he teased a short while later.

I grunted, knowing that he was using his sarcasm to focus me again. I was certain that Leah had given him a plan which involved bringing me back so that she could have her time with me as well. "Why don't you just give him neutral ground…you know, Switzerland? That way you can figure out if he is someone you can now like."

"Not like I have a choice considering the man is probably going to be hanging around. Well, assuming you are actually going to give him a chance."

I turned to look at him. Up close, I saw the true compassion he felt for the situation. His eyes were now warm.

"I would like for you to give him one." My tone was hopeful.

"'kay." Short and simple, but he was a man of his word.

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><p><strong>Thoughts? You know that reviews are an author's heroin…so to speak. ;)<strong>

**Reviews, assuming FF will cooperate, will get to see a chance encounter between Demetri and Elizabeth. **

**I'm off to see Hunger Games with my girlfriends! **


	40. Vixen

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I couldn't do this without you, as you well know!**

**I'm posting this early because it is Spring Break for my kids. I fully expect to be crazy for the next few days. Hopefully, I'll find time to finish chapters on all three of my stories this week! **

**Glad so many of you liked Demetri! Poor boy…**

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><p><strong>Carlie POV<strong>

Aunt Leah and I heard the laughing just a few seconds before they came through the door. Mama was giggling at something my dad said, and in response to the noise, his white teeth flashed against his dark skin.

It hit me then that I was going to have to decide how to handle the whole Daddy #1 and Daddy #2 situation. When I'd seen Edward lying on the floor after being shot, the word had been ripped out of my chest. It wasn't as if I could take it back now, and honestly, I didn't want to. Uncle Jake…Daddy…my confidante and the man who'd held me during many a nightmare…I realized I needed to talk with him about it. I wouldn't hurt him for anything, and I knew he'd help me figure out what to do.

But that would have to wait, because Aunt Leah and I needed to talk to my mom. And, we couldn't do that around the boys. Seth squeezed my hand knowing that I'd be leaving him with his dad and mine. Rising from the seat where I'd sat pressed to his side, I moved to my Mama, linking my arm through hers.

"I want to meet this other Samantha. I've heard some interesting things about her. Are you up to searching her out?"

"Sure, Baby." As if it was an involuntary reaction, she looked over to the bed to check on my father before looking at her watch. "I think it's time for her physical therapy. We can catch her as she comes out."

Aunt Leah rose and exited with us, moving to my mom's other side.

"Edward looks significantly better, Bella."

"Yeah, his father made him get up and walk earlier today. I'm sure it hurt like hell considering his side and the stitches in his foot. But it helped him to move around, I think. Carlisle said he'll be here for at least a week at best, and that's assuming that infection doesn't set in. He'll have to go to their house afterward. A full recovery could take up to a month."

I'd been wondering, so it was good information to know.

"Well, considering he's only been awake for two days, the progress seems amazing already. And you…any headaches?" Aunt Leah asked her.

"Actually, no, but I promise I'm doing what I'm supposed to," my mom retorted.

Her words were just a little too heated, so I was betting that she hadn't been as good as she was attempting to let on.

"Bella, you need to come home and spend the night in your own bed. You need rest too. I'll stay with Edward if you are insistent upon someone doing that," Aunt Leah said softly.

"Esme has offered. I just don't know…it doesn't feel right. She'll have to do that for him when he goes there. And, it is helping…both of us."

Aunt Leah wasn't ready to just let that go. It was the reason we'd kidnapped my mom out of the room. "Is it?" she said softly, and when my mom came to a halt, I was glad we were at a small sitting area with windows overlooking a garden.

Taking her arm, I moved her into the small nook. "Mama, we're just worried about you," I said in regards to her mutinous look. "How do I say this?" I shrugged in confusion. "You know I'm all for you and Daddy figuring everything out, but…"

"But, it is so sudden?" she added, taking the winds out of my sails.

"Yeah!" I admitted. I was really confused by it all, having wanted her to give him the chance to talk and then having it all almost ruined by the man who'd hurt Aunt Alice. Now he was in the hospital, and it seemed he was getting better, but I knew it didn't mean that things couldn't take a turn for the worst.

She reached out to grab my hand and pulled me over to a grouping of chairs sitting in front of the window. Patting the small space beside her, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders…and held Aunt Leah's hand with the other.

"Carlie, we've always been candid with each other. Your father has asked for an opportunity for us to date again." My heart raced in satisfaction with that, although I'd already known that was where he was going. "I will admit it is difficult to really know what that means for us. We are in an odd situation…knowing at least large parts of each other already and sharing something as wonderful as you. But I can't help the pull of my emotions for him. I long questioned why I couldn't let him go, and it has been an anomaly for me. I think I understand now, in that I believe it was my unconscious hanging on. So, although it seems overkill for me to be here, I just 'know' it's the right thing to do. We won't be moving in with him when he leaves…" Aunt Leah snorted "…so his family will need to step in then, along with our help. So, it just seems like this is a good time for us to reestablish at least some of the connection."

"You can't stand being away from him!" Aunt Leah called it.

My mother actually blushed, and it was then I understood just how strong her love for him still was.

"No…" she shrugged.

"I think it's going to be hard for you to give him up when he is ready to go home," I said softly.

Her brown eyes captured mine. "I have to Carlie. I have you and other obligations. We aren't ready for that type of commitment."

Ha! I wanted to laugh. If she could see her face, she would to. It would take Heaven and Earth to keep them apart…and even then, I was certain my father would use every ounce of his charm to beg for them to move. But I couldn't argue against her words, because in fact, it was what Aunt Leah and I wanted to hear…that she was at least attempting to think about it rationally.

I saw that Aunt Leah wisely held her tongue, letting the conversation die for now. This had been just a quick check. I knew that Aunt Leah would continue watching her closely. But when my mom turned on me, I wished that we'd continued focusing on her.

"How was the test on Tuesday?"

I groaned. I'd missed acing it by one question, and I still wasn't sure that the teacher had given my answer ample consideration. Not wanting to cause a problem right now, I'd caved and let it go. It hadn't helped though when Seth has scored not only a perfect score but earned the extra credit as well. We were famously competitive.

"I got a 95," I snarled out. "My fault. I should've gotten a 100, but I was a little distracted."

"Carlie, that is great. Considering what has happened, that is amazing!" my mom answered, giving me a break.

Looking at her watch, she quickly said, "We'd better get going or we'll miss her." After rising, she continued the inquisition about my subjects and grades as we continued down the hallway.

"Mom, I finished my analysis on Keats, but I would appreciate you proofing it if you don't mind. You know that Mr. Todd can be such a stickler."

"Sure."

"I couldn't help Bella. I told her it was all bull," Leah snarked and I laughed.

She was such a literal person that the ideas of symbolism and allegory frustrated her. Give her a case of what would appear unrelated facts and she would analyze it to death finding the connection. Give her a couple of sentences of prose and she growled in frustration. As she was happy with a stack of legal papers, Jacob Black was equally happy with a play grid in front of him…things in black and white.

"Daddy said that Keats waxed on like some love sick teenager who didn't have the balls to claim his woman." Both my mom and Aunt burst out in laughter. "That was his official thought."

Aunt Leah growled "Jake" under her breath, but I knew that she wouldn't hurt him…much. Leah and Jake loved each other like there was no tomorrow.

"We're here," my mom said softly, coming to a door that led to the physical therapy room. I saw a small reddish haired child attempting to walk between the bars. A young woman followed her on the right hand side.

"They're still working," my mom said softly. "Let's go in and encourage her."

The girl's face turned immediately to us when the door clicked open. "Ms. Bella!" she said quickly, almost losing hold of the bar. She then took me and Leah in, and I could see curiosity in her face.

"Finish up, and we'll take you back to your room," my mom called out, moving to lean up against the wall.

"What happened?" Leah asked softly.

"She was abused by the man she was left with; on top of multiple internal injuries, he fractured her leg. Her mother left her with him as a baby. They'd been looking for the woman, but the nurses told me just yesterday that they found out she is dead. The authorities reached her family and were informed that they hadn't seen her since she was a teenager, but that they'd been notified by law enforcement a year or so ago that her body was found on a bench in a park in Texas."

"So the family will be coming to claim her," Leah said.

My mom looked over to her, and they exchanged a look that was supposed to only be understood by adults. I knew what the unspoken message was. There would be nobody coming for her.

"Come on, Samantha. One more time," the physical therapist encouraged.

It was then that I saw the bandages covering one leg entirely. Her tiny arms shook with the effort she was using to keep upright. She and my Samantha were as opposite as night and day in looks, but I saw the same determination running through them. My Samantha had only known love, acceptance, and assurance. I wondered what this beautiful little girl had experienced.

Without thought, I moved toward her. She grinned at me, but as I got closer, she seemed to stumble. The PT caught her before she fell.

"Sam, you okay?"

"Yeah…" the word was softly mumbled, but I could see tears starting to roll down her cheeks.

"Sam?" the PT said quickly.

"Wanna go back to my room."

"Hey!" my mom said quickly to my side. "Samantha, what's wrong, Sweetheart?"

"He don't want me."

"Huh?" the PT murmured in confusion. From their reactions, I was certain that her crying was unusual. I was betting she was pretty much smiles all the time.

She pointed a shaky finger at me and started bawling. "Already has a girl."

I heard my mom gasp, and then she knelt beside the wheelchair that the PT had maneuvered the girl to. It was then I noticed she had green eyes as well. They were darker, more jade; whereas, mine were lighter, more emerald in color. My dad's eyes…which is how she'd recognized me.

"Sweetheart, yes, this is Carlie, my daughter. She's Edward's daughter as well."

An adult-like sob tore out of the little girl's chest, and her face twisted in agony. It made the scars a little more prominent. I was certain that a good plastic surgeon could help smooth out the straight lines, and the horror washed over me when I realized they'd most likely been done with a knife.

The words I'd overheard Aunt Alice saying finally made sense. Little Samantha had been hoping to go home with my dad.

Wow, talk about surprises. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. There was a part of me that was jealous, because I'd just found him, and I didn't want to share just yet. I couldn't even imagine what my mom was thinking. _Right, Carlie!_ My conscious seemed to shout. Like you don't know that your mother won't be able to turn this girl away. She had the softest heart I knew.

I was the one who'd caused her to cry, and I knew that I'd have to be the one to calm her. "Hey, Samantha! Don't worry, my family…both sides, we kinda run in packs."

"Packs…" she sniffled.

"Yeah, the more the merrier. Although, I'm not sure what I'm gonna call you. We already have one Samantha. Maybe I'll just call you two Thing 1 and Thing 2, you know like Dr. Seuss."

She couldn't help but grin, and I took advantage of it. "Do you like his books? 'Cause I do even still."

She nodded her head 'yes', but then murmured a little uncertainly, "Thing 2."

"Well maybe we'll just use Sam 1 and Sam 2. The more I think about it, the better it sounds." I grinned and nodded my head at her teary face. Hope was beginning to show in her eyes. "I'm kinda in another dilemma, something similar."

"Lemma?"

Aargh. I was used to talking with Sam 1, and I needed to remember this one was a good bit younger. "I have another problem. It is a little like this. I have two Daddy's, and I'm still not sure what to call them," I explained.

"Two?" her eyes were as big as owl's, but at least the tears were drying. I bet that sounded odd or perhaps even wonderful to her.

"Yeah…"

"Is Dr. Cullen awake?" she asked my mom, and at the negative shake of her head, Sam smiled endearingly. "He had to walk, too."

It was a statement not a question.

"Yeah, but he isn't strong like you. He grumbled like a bear and then went to back to sleep," my mom told her. The idea that my father had been grumpy tickled her.

"It's time for Samantha's nap as well," the PT said. "I was just taking her back to her room."

"Can I walk with you?" The words ripped out of my mouth before I even knew it.

Her smile was answer enough.

**Bella POV**

"What just happened?" I asked Leah, seeing Carlie walk away from us beside Samantha's wheelchair.

"The enthusiasm, optimism, and open-mindedness of youth. It's a grand thing. Can you imagine how different the world would be if we didn't lose it!" she announced sagely beside me.

"Well, I'm kinda getting whiplash. We went from 'Rake Bella over the coals' to 'Oh, you want to go home with my dad…cool' before I could recover."

Leah snickered from beside me. "So…now that we have some privacy…I really want to know how you're feeling."

"Oh, thank God!" I announced, before grabbing her hand and pulling her toward one of the small family rooms where I knew we'd have some privacy. I'd needed my best girlfriend for a while.

"Ok, spill," Leah said as soon as we'd shut the door and sat down.

I shuddered remembering the heat that'd tore through me when we kissed. Her eyes widened at my reaction.

"Well…well…well…" She chuckled even when I snarled at her. "What?" She used Jake's favorite line. "I just wanted to know if you felt more with him than the others you'd tried. Just exactly how did you accomplish sex in a hospital and with him in that condition?"

I sputtered and barely whispered out, "Just a kiss."

"WHAT?" she sputtered back. "And you're that flustered!" She tapped her finger to her lips before adding, "Much as I hate to say it, I am growing to like Edward more and more. I've been waiting for you to lose your head for what…fifteen years?" She grinned evilly at me before forcing herself back into a more neutral stance. She couldn't contain it long though and snorted again.

Maybe I'd teased her just a little too much over the years about how she turned mindless when Jacob kissed her. I didn't even want to have to clarify how much of a "wuss" she was after a good night or weekend of wild sex with him. She'd been useless for a month after they came back from their second honeymoon. I'd paid Seth ten bucks to start calling me "Mama" just to make the point.

When she reached over and grabbed my hand, I knew we were getting down to business.

"We dealt with what happened in the cafeteria and to some degree about the women." I synopsized what I'd told Jake.

She pursed her lips before saying anything. "When I had to deal with the charges against that woman, I seriously got the impression that he kept people at arm's length. It pissed me off at the time, because I was imagining that he'd attempted to do that with you as well, and that maybe he just hadn't been as good about setting boundaries at that time. It infuriated me that you were no different, and that you'd ended up paying a significant consequence for loving him. It never occurred to me that he'd locked himself away."

Then she addressed the same thing I'd thought. "You know, it's sad in a way…not that I'm defending him, because I'll still cut his balls off and feed them to a pack of rabid dogs if he isn't being serious about his feelings and motives…"

"What? You aren't going to threaten his life if he hurts me?" I teased, pouting my lips at her.

She shook her head at my nonsense. "Bella, if you attempt a relationship with him, he's going hurt you, and you're going to hurt him. That is the nature of the beast. I'll at least be the rationale half of Jake and me on that. If I have to, I'll use a leash on that husband of mine."

She then blushed when she said the words, thinking about the connotations. I snorted at her discomfort…because again I knew too much about them. Jake hadn't been right for weeks after the weekend Leah decided to be a little adventuresome. But I nodded at her promise, knowing that Jake's overprotectiveness just might be a problem for exactly the reason she'd mentioned. Leah continued on with her thoughts.

"You at least tried to find love again. It looks like he refused to. How lonely must that have been? I really thought you'd found it with Robert, but when you couldn't bring yourself to introduce him to Jake, well I wondered."

"I did…love him. But there is a difference between being in love and loving someone. I don't know, maybe if I could have let go of my hurt. He is a good man, and I hate the thought that I hurt him so much. Felix…I think it could have been different, though, which is why I ran scared for so long. But Robert, yeah…" I left off knowing that it had been as close as I could get. Just like I had with Felix, I'd run scared when Robert had asked me to allow him to meet my family. The scent of a pending marriage proposal had been too strong.

"Strange enough, I think he understood from how you told me about it. I mean, he still keeps in touch, so obviously he still feels for you."

A whoosh of air came out of me as I admitted to her, "He's coming into town next week. He emailed me and wanted to know if we could get together for lunch. I emailed back a quick reply that there had been a significant illness in my family, and that I would get back to him later."

"That would be…interesting. But regardless, he is a good man, extremely handsome from what I saw, and from your account good in bed. You told me that he was wonderful with his sisters' kids from what you were able to observe and that he actually liked his parents."

I was a little lost as to where she was going with it and shrugged my shoulders to tell her so.

She smiled softly. "Bella, what I'm trying to point out is that you had a man that any self-respecting woman would've killed for. You could have had Felix with a crook of your finger, and trust me, many of the women I know would have died for that opportunity, but yet you couldn't let yourself truly go with either one of them. There were a few others I know you considered as well, but I discount them because they never made it past a certain point. Felix…Jake would have jumped on in glee. I think if you'd allowed him to know about Robert, it would have been the same. But…"

"…I held back. That is what you are trying to get me to see."

"Yes."

"I don't understand," I admitted.

"You are already attached to the hip with Edward. I'm not going to fuss at you about it though, but everyone else in your life is going to tell you to be careful, go slow, and test him out. I just don't want you to let fear get in the way of your finding true happiness. You saved me from what would have been one of the biggest mistakes of my life…" Which would have been ignoring Jacob, since there had been such animosity between them. "…I'm trying to do the same for you. You deserve to have a man that curls your toes up simply with a kiss."

My smile twisted because I was attempting to not cry.

"I'll help you watch him, and if he isn't being true with his feelings for you, I'll be the first to tell you whether or not you want to hear it. But, only after I make him regret it of course," she snarled reminding me of a feral wolf protecting her young.

"Thank you, Le-Le," I said, calling her the nickname Carlie had given her as a baby.

She smiled leaning over to hug me. "De nada."

~SOMP~

An empty room met us upon our return and the feeling of panic that something bad had happened was so overwhelming that I swayed. Leah grabbed me by the shoulders and squeezed hard.

"Bella, I have my phone on me. If something had occurred, Jake would have called immediately. They're probably out for another walk. You said yourself that Edward is determined to get better. Calm down."

Her words helped me breathe, but still didn't stop me from dashing out into the hallway…only to draw up short when I saw three of the most important men in my life walking slowly toward us. I wanted to bathe Jake's and Seth's faces in kisses when I saw that they were patiently watching over Edward as he trudged forward, Seth carefully wheeling the IV. I knew the look on Jake's face well. It was one of begrudging respect, most likely brought on by the struggle he was witnessing. Leah pulled me by the arm back into the room and then pointed to the bed. Before the boys entered, we had it orderly.

But Edward surprised us all. "I would like to sit in a chair if that's okay." His voice was painfully soft.

"Shouldn't we consult with a doctor first?" I asked quickly and then blushed when Edward's lips smirked. "I mean your dad! Because we all know you're going to try and overdo it," I grumped.

"Bella, quit being a harpy. Let the man sit in a chair." Jacob threw back at me, pulling one of the soft recliners forward.

Edward's eyes bounced between Jake andme as if he was intrigued by what he saw. But he took advantage of Jake's sudden generosity; reaching back to lower himself into the monstrosity Jake had pulled over like it was nothing.

"Where's Carlie?" he asked softly, attempting to get the focus off him for the moment. I could see a light sheen of sweat across his face and knew that he must be in agony. As if to prove my point, he raised the foot that had stitches and supported it on the metal railing of the walker.

"I took her to meet Samantha, and she went back to her room with her. I suspect she'll be back in a little while," I told him as I went to the bathroom for a cool washcloth.

With a smile, Edward held his hand out for it, unwilling to let me near him, and of course Leah cackled under her breath at the heat that blazed between us. As I'd thought, Carlie returned within the half hour with a determined look about her. I knew that we were in for a long talk, but it was put off when Emmett and Rosalie arrived with dinner. Jacob started drooling when he saw that Emmett carried multiple boxes from Aro's pizzeria, and we were all witness to Edward's amazing debate skills. He tried hard to convince me that pizza was really a healthy meal, and I finally caved when he resorted to begging.

I was quite certain that the two pieces he managed were nowhere close to what he could normally wolf down, but it was a start.

Before I knew it, it was 8 o'clock. "Carlie, you and Seth need to get home. Send me that paper by email, and I'll look over it and send the edited version back."

"'Kay," she said, rising from where she sat at Edward's side. It was as if she had to force herself to let go of his hand. "Daddy, I'm coming to stay all day on Saturday. Poppa said you can't get released until Monday at the earliest anyway, so we'll make Mama leave us alone." She leaned down and placed a quick kiss to his forehead before gathering up her stuff and reaching for Seth's hand.

Emmett, who'd kept us entertained throughout the evening with various Edward-tales, took it as his hint for him and Rose to go as well. "C'mon Bro, let me take you to the john before I leave. "

Edward appeared somewhat embarrassed, but I was grateful for Emmett's insight because it took both he and Jake to help him up. Rose and I made an appointment to have dinner while they were gone, and a few minutes later, Edward, sans the robe he'd worn, was back sitting on the edge of the bed. When the door closed on the visitors, it seemed almost too quiet.

"God, I love my brother, but blessed peace…ah the sound," he cracked, but I could tell he was tired. It was intrinsically woven in his voice.

Turning, I found him leaning over, his head hanging down slightly. "I kinda liked it. I found out some good material on you."

He raised his head to smile softly at me. "Don't hold anything Emmett says about me against me. Now these four…" he pointed to the homemade cards that Emmy, Ross, Alistair, and Jasmine had sent to decorate his room. They were brightly colored, and I'd all but died laughing at Jasmine's rendition of Edward. His hair was bright red and sticking out like hay from a haystack around his face. "…anything they say, you can believe. I miss them," he stated simply, but his love of them was clear.

"Then you have to work hard to get out of here," I replied simply.

"Not sure I want to do that. You'll go home then." Edward appeared morose at the idea; his shoulders hunched in a little more at the thought. Well, he was getting right to the heart of the matter. Softly, I moved to stand in front of him, and it irked me that even sitting, Edward was slightly taller than me. "That sounded so selfish. I'm sorry. You really should be going home to watch over Carlie and get rest. I know Jacob and Leah…"

I stopped his words by putting my fingers across his lips.

"Edward, hush. We'll figure that out when we get there. Stop worrying. I'm not going anywhere."

Glittering green eyes flashed back and forth across my face. Unable to help myself, I brushed a wayward lock of his hair back with my free hand, and he closed his eyes in response. A shiver ran through him, and the slightest pressure from his lips nudged at my fingers. A kiss. My skin jumped in response, goose bumps racing up my arms and causing other things to pebble.

"Mr. Cullen, did you just steal a kiss?" I accused.

I felt his lips curl up in a smile and pulled my hand off him. The contact was just too much for me.

"I plead the fifth," he said with good humor, pushing back so that he could lower himself onto the bed.

Seeing him laid out in the form fitting t-shirt and shorts was quite the treat, and I did my best not to stare at the hard muscles of his legs. He attempted to pull his left leg up, but apparently had finally run out of energy.

"Do you need something?" I asked.

"I was going to take my socks and the bandages off. The stitches on my foot are driving me crazy," he murmured. "Please don't…" His sigh of relief, when I took the socks off, was breathy. "I feel like such an invalid."

"Don't. You'll be strong enough soon. You've pushed yourself hard today."

Like I'd done for Carlie when she had cuts and scrapes, I gently pulled back the medical tape around the gauze and uncovered the stitches that cut down his arch and under the bottom of his foot. Even the man's feet were sexy…which absolutely killed me. I was so going for a pedicure. I needed one, and there was nothing like it in life to get rid of stress. An idea struck me, and within a moment, I was back with lotion in hand.

"What are you…"

He moaned in pleasure when I moved my hands, along with the lotion I'd warmed between them, across the top of his uninjured foot. The sound of his enjoyment increased when I ran my thumb across the arch of his foot, smoothing the tiredness there, and then back across to pull at his toes lightly. I focused on watching my fingers smooth out the kinked muscles in his first foot, before I moved onto the second, carefully avoiding the area around the stitches. He jerked but when I finally had enough of the silent torture, I looked up to see him staring at me hungrily.

"Bella!" he growled out hoarsely.

Holding my hands up like I was innocent, I moved away, and then pulled the covers over him slowly. The drag of the material hit him in the area I wanted, making his eyes almost cross. Yeah…for now, I had him where I wanted him.

"Are you purposely torturing me?" he hissed out, squirming against the bed.

"Moi?" I smiled secretly at him before shrugging my shoulders. "I plead the fifth."

His resulting bark of hoarse laughter was satisfying, and I used the moment to snatch a brief kiss to his forehead…nothing romantic or heavy, just a quick connection in almost the same spot our daughter had kissed. I barely missed his hand grabbing at me as I "unknowingly" turned to put the lotion on the side table.

"Minx," he said softly. The nickname made my heart stutter. He'd always called me that whenever we teased one another. It sounded so natural come from his lips, and it just felt right.

"Tease," I retorted as our eyes met, enjoying the chuckling I heard before turning to sit. It had been my standard comeback.

Head turned to the side, he gazed at me softly and sleepily. "Bella…thank you."

I winked at him, and then reached out to hold his hand. Over the next few minutes, as our thumbs caressed one another, I watched as the day caught up to him and his eyes slowly closed in sleep.

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><p><strong>AN: No outtake this week, I'm already working on the next chapter, and I'm trying to get it just…right. You'll see. :)<strong>

**BUT, I would still like to know what you think.**


	41. Seduced by Chocolate

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I couldn't do this without you, as you well know!**

**I would like to thank AllyVera for rec'ing Sins of My Past over on Rob Attack and to Cared for helping her! I squealed in delight when they did so. It is the first time Sins has gotten rec'd, and I was so stoked! You girls rock! Seriously!**

**Also Ruth! I can't contact you! I've sent you a ton of emails and they keep coming back undeliverable. I am definitely going over and reading the series you rec'd. Thanks so much!**

**Also to those that follow me on Twitter – sorry I got caught up in the spam deal. It'd been so long since I was on Twitter that I thought the protocol had changed! I'm a dope.**

**Posting this a day early because the Easter Bunny and I have a date tonight and early in the morning…sigh… I'm imagining six sugar crazed kids tomorrow…**

**Happy Easter to all those that celebrate! I'm coming off Spring Break, and it was wonderful. I was able to get chapters done for all three of my stories!**

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

"Edward, stop fussing with the table linen," my father chastised me, as I smoothed an imaginary crease out of it for the hundredth time. Taking his words to heart, I moved on to the dozen roses he'd brought for me and once again adjusted the arrangement. The petals were a delicate blend of cream and pink, the colors growing bolder toward the edge. They reminded me of Bella's complexion when she blushed.

My dad then balanced a picnic-like basket on one of the chairs, and upon opening it, the rich smells of pasta wafted out. My stomach rumbled and the sound brought a smile to my father's face. He was extraordinarily pleased with my progress. I suffered through the twice a day physical therapy without complaint, much to delight of Samantha and the PTs, and I'd slept just like I was ordered. When I was told to rest, I rested, but I pushed the limits all other times knowing that to stay moving meant less likelihood of secondary pulmonary infection. I'd at least attempted to temper my smile when the chest x-rays came back clean and clenched my teeth from acting like a baby when the stitches in my foot had been removed.

It'd all been done in the name of getting out of the hospital and going home. Even though this might seem a wonderful thing, it actually scared me. I'd already become addicted to the sense of Bella at my side at night, and that would stop when I left the hospital. But what would begin was my serious attempt to develop a new relationship with her.

Moving to my father's side, I reached in to the basket and took out the plates, utensils, glasses, and napkins my mother had sent.

"I'll go get some ice, Edward," he said, quickly moving out into the hallway.

I grinned at his retreating back in fondness. He'd done everything within his power to get me well and even more to help me with Bella. As soon as I'd mentioned my desire to do something nice, he'd brought up the idea of having an impromptu dinner by candlelight. It seemed ridiculous in a hospital, but after he'd produced the immaculate tablecloth, I'd seen the flair of my father's romantic skills. With the lights muted and the blinds open to a rare clear Friday night, you could almost forget that we were in the hospital.

Having come off the drip IV, I had more mobility, so I set the table as my mother had instructed and left a pack of matches by the candle. Other than the salad, tea, and dressing, I left the rest of the food in the basket to help keep it warm. Satisfied that I'd done everything I could, I moved into the restroom to brush my teeth and attempt to calm my unruly hair. I still had fairly prominent dark bags under my eyes, but I certainly didn't look as ragged as I had earlier in the week…AND…I was maneuvering around the room under my own weak strength.

The t-shirt and pajama bottoms I wore were as good as I could get, considering my father had finally taken the bandaging off. The stitches had come out as well, so I had to pamper the new pink flesh. I had to admit that the soft cotton Alice had brought me felt wonderful.

Hearing the text alert on my phone, I moved slowly back into the room.

E There in 1 minute. A

Alice had taken Bella to get Samantha clothes. Her heavy bandaging had finally come off, and I refused for her to stay in the hospital stuff any longer. Turning my credit card over to my sister, I'd sent her on a shopping spree to get some loose shirts and pants. Alice had mentioned yoga wear…and I'd just shrugged.

But for now, she was letting me know that they were here. Placing the phone back down on the side table, I moved to light the candle. My dad ran in with the ice in the container, put some in a bowl and the salad container on it, then looked over the place quickly and softly clapped me on my arm. "Sorry, one of the nurses stopped me to tell me about a patient she is concerned about. I heard them coming…gotta go!" He made it to the door and then turned back to me. "Oh! And have fun…" he grinned, and it was easy to see why my mother loved him so much. I was his son, and even I could see how good looking and mischievous he was. It was a lethal combination.

When Bella came through the door, I was standing by the chair I'd pulled out for her.

"Edward, I swear, I know Alice says she's changed, but if the amount…" Her words died when she saw the room and that it was bathed in soft light. "What…" The look on her face was priceless.

"I wanted to take you to dinner, but considering I have to stay here for at least a few more days…" I left off, pulling the chair out a little further.

Her grin was adorable, her lips turned down just a little as she attempted to keep from laughing at my very proper air.

"You went to all this trouble?" she questioned as she ran her fingers across the fine linen.

"Well, I had lots of help getting it all here…but yes, the idea was mine."

She placed the bags she'd carried in on the couch across the room and then came back to stand by me. I pulled the chair out a little farther and waved for her to sit down. Pulling the napkin from the plate, I handed it to her.

"What are we having?" she asked, grinning up at me enticingly.

I had to breathe several times to focus. Her smell had overwhelmed me for the moment.

"Salad, homemade rolls, and mushroom ravioli," I murmured my voice hoarse with passion. "Mom did it for us," I added.

Bella's eyes widened, looking to the basket with longing. My mom was an exceptional cook, and her mushroom ravioli had been Bella's favorite meal.

"Are you serious!" she said softly, already reaching for the basket.

I playfully slapped at her hand and at her startled look announced, "Nuh uh! I'm here to serve you."

Moving to the side, I picked up the large bowl that my dad had put on ice. Bringing the tongs, I removed the lid and put large portions of the salad in two bowls, before setting one before her and one before the chair beside her. My dad had included a shifter of cracked pepper, so I pulled that from the basket and grabbed the glass container full of my mom's homemade dressing.

"Mom sent her dressing, but she also included some ranch as well."

"No! Her's definitely! I tried so many times to recreate it, but I've never been able to," she admitted, her eyes sparkling from behind the stylish glasses. "Think I could talk her out of the recipe?"

I couldn't help the words that slipped out. "She'd give you anything."

For a moment, my words put a sour note on the dinner, but Bella stepped right in smoothing the way. "You know, I wouldn't have thought about that. This is a good time for me to ask for just about anything, isn't it?" she smirked at me in a teasing manner.

Words again flew out of my lips before I could control them. "I'd give you the world if you would allow me." My declaration hung heavy in the air. For a moment our eyes locked, excruciating honesty flowing between them. I couldn't call back the words and they were truer than she could know…but now wasn't the time. "I'm sorr…"

"Why don't we just start with some of those rolls," she said softly, nodding toward the basket.

"Rolls…right…" I had to shake my head to clear my thoughts.

Placing the small basket of homemade yeast rolls between us, I then pulled the small cooler over. "I have water or tea," I announced before sitting down.

"Water," she responded, and I brought out several ice cold bottles.

She reached over grabbing my hand before she bowed her head. "Thank you for this food," she said simply. She released me then, and the contact had been so quick that it was almost as if I'd dreamt it.

Twisting the bottle top off, I put her water before her and then opened mine.

"This is truly wonderful, Edward," she said, looking over the tablecloth, candle, and roses.

"I wanted to do something nice, but honestly, my mom, dad, and sister deserve all the credit. My dad was the one to suggest the dinner…he also set the table," I nodded toward said layout. "The pasta meal was my idea, but as you know my mother made it. Alice came up with the distraction that let me get it set up. However, I would like to cook for you, when I get back to my house."

She grinned at me as she put a small bite of salad in her mouth. When she'd finished chewing she asked in a teasing tone, "Grilled cheese and tomato soup?"

It'd been the only thing I could manage when we'd first begun dating. Even then, I'd burned the sandwiches more often than not. My mom had always been an exceptional cook, so I'd never felt the need to learn. Learning to cook with Bella had been lessons in pleasure, both taste and tactile. Stolen kisses…and brushes of skin against skin as my taste buds took in the experiments we'd attempted. We'd made love on the kitchen table, on the floor, and I'd taken her using the countertops to move between her legs. We'd taste tested many sauces in the meantime, and I'd actually been able to learn a few skills.

"No…" I grinned at her "…I think I can do a little better than that. But…if you like, I'll whip up some mean grilled cheese." I took a bite of the salad and groaned when the flavors of my mother's dressing burst across my tongue.

"Exactly!" Bella declared, and for the next few minutes we ate in silence, simply enjoying the food before us.

"I've taken quite a few cooking classes over the years," I admitted to her as I brought out the container holding the pasta. It'd been a way for me to feel close to her, but I'd admit that to her later. As I served the savory meal, she watched me intently. Before sitting, I refilled our salad bowls and brought out more water. "I'm nowhere near my mom's or your mad skills in the kitchen, but I do have a few good recipes. I mostly cook with fish and chicken."

A sad smile crossed her face making me wonder…until she spoke.

"My dad loved to eat fish; so of course, I know a ton of good ways to spin it." I wanted to bite my tongue, having brought up such a sad memory. "We'll cook some of them together," she offered, giving me an out.

"I'd like that," I admitted, thanking God above that Bella was the woman she was. "We'll need to talk about him."

"I know, but not now," she said decidedly. "Tonight, I want to enjoy Esme's meal, because I haven't had mushroom ravioli like her's…well…since the last time she cooked it for me!" She was excited, and her enthusiasm won me over.

I couldn't eat much, but it was still better than what I'd been accomplishing. Even still, Bella cajoled me, holding out her fork with bites on it. "We have no way to store it, and it would be an absolute shame for any of this to go to waste," she said, guilt tripping me.

The candlelight flickered across her face as she leaned toward me, and I was stunned speechless by her beauty. "Save some room, Bella. There's dessert," I admitted while attempting to ignore how her lips wrapped around the fork.

"Dessert?" her eyes lit in hope.

"You have to remain sitting, because part of this night is about me serving you," I warned, and when she made a show of sitting back in the chair, I decided to test her restraint. "Mom's homemade chocolate cake," I announced, watching her eyes widened ever bigger.

Her mouth opened in a startled "O," and I knew how she felt. I'd gorged myself sick on my mom's cake a multitude of times. The last pieces of mushroom ravioli were put back on the plate, her entire focus on what she knew she would find in the picnic basket.

"You're cruel," she accused quickly. "Now!" She tapped her finger on the clean desert plate, fake glaring at me.

The laughter barked out of me, and it did stretch at my muscles causing me to twitch in pain. Having finally convinced my father to let me come off the morphine, I was taking Vicodin. It wasn't as successful with controlling the pain, but it was at least a step down from the IV brew. At her command, I pulled the final small container out. Deeply dark and creamy looking slices were revealed when I undid the box. Cradled to the corners were several small containers of chocolate syrup.

"OH! MY! GOD!" Bella whispered upon seeing inside the box.

"I know!" I announced in good humor. "I'm truly surprised my dad let this leave the house."

She snickered at the genuinely perplexed sound of my voice. When I had them served up with chocolate drizzled over the thick slices, Bella made short work of dipping her dessert fork into the offering. But instead of eating it herself, she held it to me.

I wanted to either snarl at her for immediately shooting my desire through the roof with such a simple action or weep in pleasure. It was a toss up. Truly…

Leaning forward, I quickly grabbed the bite. I repaid in kind, but my hand shook when I saw her lips wrap around my fork, pulling the dessert into her mouth. The unsteadiness only increased as I watched her chewing slowly. Drawing my attention back from my fantasies, metal tapped at my lips softly, indicating that she was ready to give me another bite. Swallowing hard, I took it.

The next round of our play, Bella moaned, and it was all I could do to keep from lunging for her.

"The chocolate is luscious," she murmured softly, wickedly.

Luscious?

I wouldn't use that word for it, not with her sitting beside me. Shifting uneasily in the chair in an attempt to control my raging lust, I speared another piece for her. A snarl tore out of my chest when the tip of her tongue ran across the tines cleaning the chocolate left behind. Using what remained of my strength to remain sitting, my hand fell to the makeshift table between us.

"Edward, are you okay?" she asked with concern, her dark eyes widening as she looked at me. Her look was just a little too innocent.

She rose quickly and stepped to me. Raising her hand with the napkin in it, she started to wipe my face. But then all rational thought stopped as she lowered her lips to mine and licked just at the corner of my mouth.

"There was no reason to waste any chocolate," she pronounced, and it was then I heard the mischief in her voice.

My muscles seized at her touch and the breath rushed out of my chest. The only thing capable of moving was my eyes, and they took in her slight smirk. She knew how this affected me. Pushing the small table back, she moved in front of me, and then I felt the brush of her leg against me as she straddled me in the chair.

Time seemed to stand still as she slowly lowered back toward me, allowing me to move if I desired…as if that was even a possibility.

As lightly as butterfly wings, her lips touched mine, feathering over them. Electricity raced from my lips along my skin, making goose bumps rise across my body. Then her fingers threaded through my hair, and I was lost…

Opening her lips, her tongue traced the fullness of my bottom lip before she bit into it softly, urging me to open.

"Bella…" I moaned into her mouth as passion burned me, and she took advantage, sweeping in to brush her tongue against mine.

It was heaven. I could taste her mixed with the decadent chocolate. Even still, her unique flavor was more addictive to me. Thankfully, the arms on the chair kept her from moving forward, because if her snug heat had touched me...

It was almost too much that I could feel her legs cradling mine, her fingers in my hair, and the play of her lips and tongue.

What began softly turned greedy, and taking the liberty, I moved my hands from the armrests I'd been gripping to her hips. She was so tiny that my fingers spanned half way across her ass. She twisted at the feel of me holding her, and I wanted to pull her forward then, to snug her against me, to be able to push into the heat I knew was there and have her shatter around me.

When she tugged sharply at my hair, demanding more from me, the growl started in my chest billowing out. Deep need tore at me as she forced my head to the back of the chair, leaning over me to make our kiss more feral. Nothing compared to kissing Bella…nothing. I thought I heard my name when she finally released me, but it was hard to tell through the gasping.

"FUCK!" I uttered when she nibbled across my jaw and nipped at my ear.

Harsh puffs of breath fanned out across the sensitive skin of my ear and neck as she too fought for control, but a soft smile spread across my face, at least happy that I had the same effect on her that she did on me.

"I'd say I was sorry, but I'm not," she said softly, causing me to shiver as her hot breath tantalized me, pouring over my ears and stirring my hair.

"My Love, I…" I cleared my throat "…your kiss…it's magic." It was such an inadequate description, so I hoped the breathy quality of my voice would add the needed significance.

Finally, she sat back, and I wanted to kiss her cheeks, to run my tongue along the blush that stole over them. I groaned when she looked down, seeing the evidence of my desire.

"Too bad we can't take that any farther."

I chuckled, but it was a mixture of need and humor. My chest was on fire from the pressure of the blood that pumped through me and my lungs burned, but I'd gladly take the torture for the pleasure of her touch.

"One day…if I earn the chance."

"Keep kissing me like that and it'll be sooner than later," she teased, then shifted her hips as if she wanted to move closer.

"Bella!" I squeaked like a prepubescent boy. "Love, I…" I held her still unable to guarantee respectful behavior if she put her body against mine.

She grinned evilly at me, and it was then I realized how hard I was gripping her still. I forced myself to let go, and she smiled even wider.

"I think I just might have Emarks on my hips after that," she giggled, and I was transported back to another time.

"_Edward," she said in a strangled voice into the phone. "You left teeth marks on me and bruises on my legs. I won't be able to go swimming or Emmett will never let us live it down."_

She'd been calling to tell me that we couldn't go to the pool with the others, and I'd felt horrible about my loss of control. Unfortunately, it'd been just the first time, and Bella had secretly delighted in the occasional mark I left on her during the heat of the moment. Emarks she'd called them. I'd been horrified, and it'd taken her awhile to get through my angst.

A spasm worked through me, and I was unsuccessful in controlling the twist of pain on my face.

"Oh my God! Edward, I…" she scrambled off me "…I should have known better!" She raced over to the bed, pressing the button for the nurses.

"Bella, I'm fine," I tried to argue with her, but she ignored me completely begging for them to bring more pain killers.

She then fussed over me while we waited.

"Bella, you're my best pain killer," I finally told her, having unsuccessfully attempted to get her to calm down.

That brought her back to me. "I just feel bad that I was overwhelmed and forgot just how careful we need to be."

She'd left the candle burning, but even in the soft light I could see the worry etched across her face.

"Bella, please come here!" When she finally flitted close enough that I could grab her, I did so, capturing her narrow wrist delicately. "Sit," I said pointing to my lap.

She felt as light as a bird when she did. I wanted to put my fingers under her chin so that I could ensure she looked at me, but I was trying hard to not touch her anymore than necessary. Thankfully, the time she'd fretted over me had allowed my raging erection to calm or the feel of her firm bottom against me would have done me in.

"Bella…" I implored, finally gaining her attention. "I would gladly trade what little pain I experienced for what I obtained."

She glanced up from under the thick fringe of her eyelashes. "I'll try to be more careful next time, I promise."

"Ok," I chuckled softly. "Even though I must say, I enjoyed every moment, so don't change too much for me."

The nurse interrupted any further comments, and the look of unholy glee on her face told me that the news of finding Bella in my lap would quickly make it way through the halls.

"Bottoms up, Doc!" she said impertinently, handing me the pill cup.

"You're enjoying this entirely too much, Christine."

"I must admit I am Dr. Cullen. You're actually one of my better patients, but I'm certain that has more to do with Ms. Swan's presence than anything." She quickly exited to Bella's giggles.

I felt a sense of sadness when Bella blew the candle out. It was almost symbolic of our return to the bland world of my recovery…the magic snuffed out. I wanted to make it last longer, to be immortally youthful and undefeatable, but I ruined my dream when I yawned deeply, the day catching up to me.

"Can I use the shower first?" she asked. "I'll rinse off the dishes and hurry so that you can get in after me."

"Sure. I'll pack up the rest."

I watched her retreat with great interest. The jeans doing things to her that should be illegal; I knew at least they were immoral for me. Remembering the kiss, I shuddered. Time, precious time…it was the only thing that would heal both my physical ailments and hopefully the wounds I'd inflicted on our relationship.

Hearing the shower turn on, it was all I could do to not develop a plethora of lurid images in my mind…of her peeling off her clothes and the water running over her skin.

EDWARD STOP! I swore at myself, determined to get everything under control.

I was a grown man, not a hormonal teenager. I was mentally strong; I could control this…I just wished that someone would tell my body the same thing. Within a minute, I had the linens packed back into the basket, and Bella soon joined me, her newly washed hair combed back from her face. She was in a comfortable t-shirt and sweat pants.

"Your turn," she offered, and I collected a fresh tank top and pajama bottoms on my way.

**Bella POV**

As Edward moved slowly into the bathroom, I breathed a sigh of relief. I was mildly embarrassed by the way I'd attacked him, even if the kiss, as he'd said, had been worth it.

Needing to talk with him about tomorrow, I was nervous, because I still didn't know how to approach it. I still had time to cancel with Robert, but I wanted to speak with Edward about it. I didn't quite know why, it wasn't as if he should have any say, but to think of keeping it from him felt…wrong. Having completed the packing of the picnic basket, I moved over to his bed straightening it, then to the cot, doing the same. My makeshift bed…it was surprisingly comfortable with the memory foam that Carlisle had provided.

Carlie would be here for her Saturday visit, and she'd clearly told me that she expected me to leave them alone. It had been almost too perfect timing, her need for a day with her dad, and Robert's invitation for lunch.

When Edward came out of the bathroom toweling his hair dry, my mouth watered again at the slice of his stomach I saw. It was scary just how I reacted to him…it was almost instinctual…as if he was made to be the exact match of what I needed. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked to me. I could still see the pain in his eyes, and it was my hope that the meds would kick in soon.

"Hey, I need to talk with you," I said before my fear made me a coward. A look I couldn't name crossed his face, and I moved over to assure him, taking his hand in mine as I sat beside him. "I'm not sure how to really even bring this up, so I'm just going to say it." He turned slightly toward me, but the slight tensing of his fingers gave away his nervousness. "An old boyfriend of mine is in town. He emailed and asked if I could meet him for lunch. He's an agent for my publishing firm and is only in town for the day before flying out early on Sunday. I…I got the email a couple of days ago, but I wrote back that I had a family emergency. He emailed again last night inquiring about me and my family and said that he would still like to see me if possible."

After surveying my face, he seemed to come to some conclusion. "He was important, wasn't he?" Edward said softly. He was entirely too perceptive.

"Yes." It was a simple answer.

He looked down to where our hands were joined. "I won't tell you that I'm ecstatic, but I understand your need to see him."

He said this as if it was a given that I was going to meet Robert. The fact he handled it this way spoke volumes to me. I knew now that no matter what I decided, it would be okay. Had he been angry or furious with the thought, I would have most likely balked at any presumption he had to tell me what to do or not do.

"Does he know that you've regained some of your sight?" Edward asked quickly, running his thumb over the top of our joined hands.

"No, honestly, I haven't emailed or spoken to him in several weeks, since just before we came back into contact with each other."

"How…how serious were you…with him?"

Okay, here it went. "He was the only person I ever attempted to be whole with." I saw the deep breath he took and that he had to swallow harshly. "It didn't work. He wanted more than I could give, but in the past when he's come through town, we've always gotten together for lunch or dinner."

"Then what makes this time different?" he asked in a neutral voice.

"You. Us."

I was astonished to see the small smile of relief that broke across his face. "I won't lie; I'll be here sweating through each moment, because I live in fear that you are going to wake up and realize I'm not worth it."

I wanted to strangle him. How couldn't he understand? Moving to capture his chin, I made him face me fully so that he could see the honesty in my eyes. "Edward…even then…you held more hold over my heart than he did."

He released the breath he'd been holding. "Thank you."

"And I didn't say I was going, just that I'd been asked."

"You need to go, Bella, because it is just another step in building the trust between us again. I don't have anyone that I can think of that I would receive such an invitation from, but there is a strong possibility that we will run into someone from my past. I want you to know that I trust you explicitly, even if I recognize my insecurities. In time, I hope that I'd prove as worthy of your confidence as well."

"Edward, I'm sorry for how I reacted with Elizabeth. I know why I felt the way I did, but it doesn't make it any better."

"Stop," he said, squeezing my hand. "We just have to learn everything again…together. Carlie will be here, and I agree with everyone that you need to get out of here."

Using our linked hands, I pulled him to me, softly connecting our lips this time. Our caresses were sensual but playful, quick kisses interspersed with nips to jaw lines and my rubbing the tips of our noses together. It was heavenly, intensely connecting, and exactly what I needed.

That night, I listened carefully to see if his dreams would give me any indication of the inner thoughts I knew he still kept from me. He slept peacefully from what I could tell, so it was with a degree of serenity that I brushed the stray tufts of his hair in place and turned him over to our daughter. Outside, the taxi awaited me and the journey to my past.

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><p><strong>AN: Would love to know what you think! Yes, next chapter they find out about Tanya. Yes, next chapter he goes home. Yes…it drives them both crazy. <strong>

**I'm doing the outtake differently this week. Tell me who you want to hear from and whoever has the most votes by Tuesday…that's who I'll write. **


	42. Whiplash

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I couldn't do this without you, as you well know!**

**Esme and Carlie were almost a dead tie for an outtake, so I decided to give it to you a little differently. Carlie's POV you'll find in this chapter (which is about twice as big as my normal ones) and I'll be finishing up Esme over the next few days and sending it out to those that reviewed. Please forgive me for not getting it out this week. I won't go into details, but it was a strange week for me.**

**Thanks so much for all your comments, you can't even know how much they mean to me. Seriously, you girls and guys rock!**

**Oh, and by the way, my Robert wasn't a Rob Pattinson look-a-like until so many of you PM'd me…so I changed it. It wasn't critical in the chapter, so I had fun with it. SNICKER! **

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

I was meeting Robert at Six Seven on Elliot Bay for lunch. I'd dressed casually in a pair of khakis, a soft lightweight cream colored sweater, and boots. Dining there could either go truly dressy to casual, but I hadn't wanted to overdo it. Edward had been extremely understanding…almost supernaturally so, but I refused to make it any worse by dressing up anymore. As it was, I'd felt the weight of his eyes as I'd left.

Robert and I had been to the restaurant a couple of times in the past, so my stomach was already rumbling for the taste of their salmon. I was also thinking of the Risotto for an appetizer. The reality that I was almost panting over food made me smile. I hadn't had much of an appetite for the last few weeks, my nerves the most likely the culprit. The return of my usually robust hunger made me happy. It meant that I was getting back to some degree of normalcy.

The light outside was actually hurting my eyes, so I closed them and leaned back against the seat of the taxi, letting the movement of the car roll my head back and forth. It would have been easy to fill my mind with the chaos of the last few weeks, but I didn't. I simply enjoyed the play of the occasional ray of sunlight over my face. Finally, I felt the car slowing and knew we were close.

"Miss, we're here," the driver announced.

"Thank you."

I paid him quickly and moved to exit. I'd brought my cane, still more secure with it in my hand scanning before me. Being so new to seeing again, I tended to get distracted by the beauty of the world around me. My capacity to use it to guide me was still invaluable. To be honest, I would have been uncomfortable without it. I knew if the headaches got worse…a fact I was still hiding from Carlisle, Edward, and Jacob…that I could always close my eyes and manage to navigate again.

Robert had described the atmosphere of the restaurant to me before, and as I entered, I was amazed at the good job he'd done. He'd actually chuckled through a review once, "Rustic 'tree' columns complete with outstretched branches and stone fireplaces give the room an upscale cabin vibe."

I remembered laughing as well, but it had been an accurate description. It was a wonderland.

"May I help you?" the Maître de asked as I came to the stand.

"I'm meeting another party here. Robert Douglas."

"Yes, we have the reservation. Mr. Douglas hasn't arrived yet, but I can seat you if you desire."

"Thank you; that would be nice."

Seeing my cane, he asked, "Would you like to take my arm and go sighted guide?

Had his tone been anything but unassuming, I would have growled. He must have seen my expression though.

"I meant no disrespect. My sister is legally blind and likes my help in close quarters. She wouldn't dare ask in any other circumstances; she's too feisty and independent." He grinned adorably, and I realized he was quite young…most likely college age.

I smiled back, causing him to blush. "Actually, I'm good up close; it's the distance that gets me."

"I'd feel less of a gentleman with you just following my back," he persisted. "My sister would thrash me with her cane if she found out I hadn't offered," he quipped back.

Deciding to tease him, I promised in a very sincere voice, "If she ever asks, I'll tell her you were quite the respectful young man."

"Very well then," he responded with a short laugh at the absurdity, but he did walk slower than a normal wait staff might, giving me time to take in the tables around us, leading me to a space not far from the fireplace.

"I changed your location. Originally you were by the windows, but since the view wouldn't be one you could enjoy…" He held his hand out toward a cozy table. I would be able to watch the fire from here. "Enjoy your meal!" He smiled cheerily and then moved away.

Within just a minute, a young, pretty waitress came to take my drink order.

"Two white wines," I told her, knowing what Robert would want with his meal.

She nodded with a smile and left. The pop of the fire just several yards from me captured my attention, and I focused on it to calm down. I was inexplicably nervous, so I jumped when my phone beeped, and I reached to see the text. My phone still spoke as I pressed the button.

_Taxi just pulling in. I'm sorry._

He hated being late. The memory was just what I needed to help me relax. This was Robert! I didn't have to be anyone but me with him. But I couldn't help but watch in the direction from where I'd come. I knew what I was waiting for…my first look at him.

I'd touched his face a multitude of times, kissed him, cried out his name in passion, and run my hands over his body. I'd memorized his muscles with my lips and could smell him from across a room. In all honesty, I knew him physically better than I did Edward, which was a strange thought. But all I knew of his looks was that he had "sandy blond hair and blue eyes" and the sense of his chiseled face and body that I'd developed from my caresses. Call it selfish, but I did want to know what the man who'd come close to capturing my heart looked like.

And then I saw him.

And he saw me…and stopped.

"Bella?" His lips formed my name soundlessly, realizing that I was looking at him…seeing him.

I stood. Tears formed in his eyes and then his long legs ate up the space between us before I was picked up against his chest into a bone crushing hug.

"Hey!" he said quickly, the sound of his voice gruff. "You could give a guy a little warning!" he reprimanded without any heat. He pulled back and let me slowly back to the floor as his eyes traveled quickly across my face. He was tall…Edward's height at least. "I'm speechless." He shook his head slowly in disbelief.

"Sit," I told him. "I've already ordered the wine."

"I think I'm going to need a bottle!" he teased, the light twinkling in his very blue eyes. He did as I asked but only after holding my chair for me to sit.

Ghosts of awareness raced across my skin. Tall, angular jaw, handsome as sin…although I wouldn't have been able to see it, mannerly, intelligent…I was getting the picture.

He took a large sip of his wine before clearing his throat, but before we could speak, the waitress appeared. He did his best to pay her attention, but in the end, I took the menu out of his hands and ordered for him and me both. Grinning, he shook his head at me again when she walked away, our lunch selections and wine order in hand.

"I don't know where to even begin…" he said, reaching across to squeeze my hand. He didn't try to hold it longer than that, we'd had those conversations and set those boundaries already.

"Hi!" I squeaked out, and he burst out in laughter at my funny.

"God, Bella! How I miss you!" He took another fortifying sip of wine, and I followed suit. "Don't keep me in suspense! What made you finally decide to try? How successful was it?" His voice was rich and dark…how had I missed the similarity? I'd been so blind. Literally and figuratively.

I was a little tongue-tied by the opportunity to see him, a twinge in the area of my heart making me feel…something. We'd worked hard to keep our friendship, but honestly, it'd been more effort for him, because I knew that he'd hoped for more than me. In the end, it was more of a credit to his fortitude and resolve that made us work.

"It's only been a couple of weeks, so I'm still technically in recovery. With the glasses, I have fairly good vision for maybe twenty or thirty feet. Everything past that is a blur. Without the glasses, I can only see directly in front of me."

"Will it get better? Are their further surgeries that might improve your distance?"

"Maybe and yes. The doctor stated that I might see more progress over the next few months, but there are some more surgeries that can be done in time." I shrugged at him. "But, even if I don't get anything else…I can see!" The last words were said with enthusiasm.

"Carlie, how does she feel about this?" he asked, just as the waitress brought up our salads.

He'd never met her, but he knew all about my daughter. Suddenly, I felt a little sad. He was an amazing man, and I'd kept them apart. I was torn, really; I knew now that he wouldn't be a part of her life, but I hadn't then. He'd wanted to meet her but had patiently waited for me to reach the point I was ready to do so. I never had, and suddenly I knew it wasn't because of him…it had been about me. I'd been afraid that Carlie would fall in love with him, because it would have been so easy to do.

"Bella?" he called me back to the present.

"I'm sorry. I got lost for a few moments."

He crooked his eyebrow at me, and I chuckled at the action.

"How many times did you do that to me when I couldn't catch you?"

With a grin, he admitted, "More times than you need to know!"

After taking a bite of my salad, I started. "Carlie is ecstatic. She's wanted me to try for so long that when I finally did, she was just happy I'd taken the chance. Life has been quite interesting here lately." So much had happened in the past weeks that it was hard to separate the effect of one event from the others.

"It must seem surreal," he noted, and I watched as his long fingers grabbed a roll from the basket, tearing it apart and applying butter. I'd always been fascinated with his hands.

"Surreal would probably be an accurate description."

"Bella, you've never been one to not enjoy life to its fullest. So I'll ask…having your vision back, is it everything you dreamed?"

I contemplated how to answer his question. He'd always been one who was comfortable with silence, so he and I both did justice to the salads while I formulated my answer. "Seeing Carlie was amazing. And Jake and his family. To be honest, I've attempted to focus on recovering, so I haven't been able to get out and do the things I would imagining doing just yet."

"Like skydiving…" he snorted, teasing me again about how I'd almost given him a heart attack.

"You know, that might just be one of the things I do!" I quipped back, to earn a groan from him. He dramatically put his hands over his eyes as if he was attempting to stop the image.

I nudged his leg under the table in reprimand, and his resulting smile was stunning.

"I'm sure as I continue to recover, I'll have more stories and wild ideas. But, I want to go to the museum and see the paintings and visit the beach where I can see as far as I can and watch the waves break over my toes. I'll get someone to video tape the sunset and watch it…I don't know…I'll make my own list of necessary events and phenomena that I must do and see."

He snorted; knowing how determined I could be. Suddenly, I really wanted to know what was happening with him since we'd last seen each other. It had been almost six months since he'd been in town. Emails were great, but they lacked the personal touch. "Robert, tell me, your mom and dad, job, life, girl…"

He chuckled at me, leaning back in his chair. "Good, great, same old, non-existent." When I stuck my tongue out at him, he caved. "Mom and Dad are good. They are vacationing in Ireland this fall. My job and life are actually really good right now. The company is sending me to Europe for the next few months; I'm to court some new author over there writing the next young adult series. Her first drafts are actually very intriguing, if I say so myself. It's actually why I wanted to see you. The agency is hinting that I might be there for more than a short stay…"

"The lead agent position!" I squealed, jumping up to go over and give him a fierce hug. He'd been in line for awhile. Then I realized what he was saying, and my legs felt unstable. I plopped back into the chair in an unladylike manner. "England?"

"Yeah…"

"Wow." I didn't know how to feel. I was sad, but didn't really have the right to be. I'd given it up several years ago. "England isn't so far away," I mumbled. It was clear I was attempting to convince myself.

"Bella, it's a good opportunity, and I'd be crazy not to take it. I just don't know how often I'll be able to get back for visits, so I wanted to see you before I left. Maybe you and the man that has put that twinkle in your eyes can come for a visit?"

His observations floored me. "Wha…"

"Bella…" he chuckled at the look on my face "…I hope that I can claim the honor of saying I know you better than just about anyone other than your family. Were you going to tell me?"

"Of course!" I admitted. "I just wanted to know about you first! It's a complicated story."

The waitress appeared with our lunches, and for a few moments, we held off on any further conversation.

"Okay, so I'm guessing it is that doctor of yours, so spill," he challenged after pouring us both more wine.

My mouth must have dropped open…how in the world had he known? Then, I realized he was thinking of Felix. I'd told him about said Italian's gentle pursuit.

"Nope, I set him up with a one of the Velathris," I admitted.

"Ah…your adopted family. So if not him, why the reaction?" He'd taken a bite of his salmon, closing his eyes as the flavor burst in his mouth.

"Its Carlie's father," I said simply and watched how quickly his eyes opened at the admission.

This time he took a deep drink of his water, trying not to sputter. "Bella!" he gasped…

I'd told him about Edward and what'd happened. In the only truly angry moment he'd had with me, Robert had claimed, when I'd run from his love, that I was allowing Edward to ruin any possible chances I had for happiness. I'd never really realized how truly perceptive he was until now. He'd seen long before I had.

Putting his fork down beside his plate, he folded his hands on the table in front of him. "Tell me!" he growled when I hesitated.

"Eat…" I pointed to the salmon "…and I will." And so I did; the whole story from beginning to end.

His blue eyes bored into mine, and the fact he didn't say anything made me extremely nervous. Just about the moment I began to squirm, he took pity on me. "I guess it should make me feel better to know that I was up against that, and that I was this close…" he held his two fingers just an inch apart "…to winning against it."

It made me feel better to see that he didn't flinch in pain.

"Rob…"

"Bella, don't. Truly, I know you loved me." When I growled back at him, he chuckled. "And still adore me, but it is difficult to explain us to anyone, because they can't understand how we could've been so close and then not. What matters is that we understand each other and accept this." He motioned between us. "I deserve to have this relationship with you." Twisting the napkin in his hands as if he was trying to figure something out, he asked, "He just let you walk out of that hospital room?"

I nodded.

"Can I help you make him jealous?" he teased, his amazing eyes twinkling again with sauciness. "I could drop you back at the hospital?" When I shook my head at him, he tapped his finger to his lips. He was being mischievous. "I could rub my aftershave on you…" My lips twisted with the effort that it took to keep from chuckling out loud. He raised his eyebrows at me and waggled them. "I could give you a hickee?"

I coughed, the sip of wine down wrong. "As if!" I burst out in laughter.

"Mess your hair up?" I rolled my eyes. "Rub a little of your lipstick on my collar?" he held the crisp material of his button up shirt between his fingers. A chuckle broke from me at his shenanigans. "Oh, no, I've got it! Let me put your hair up in a sloppy bun…with the glasses, it would be ever man's librarian fantasy. He'd wonder just why you'd done it…and it would drive him crazy!"

"Rob, you're insufferable," I accused. He was also attracting a lot of female attention in the restaurant. "Why haven't you met someone yet?" I accused.

His eyes dimmed for only a second. "I'm waiting like you. You've found him…again. I'll find her, Bella. I'll find her, if I just stay true like you did." Then he grinned like the Devil. "But in the meantime…" he winked at me.

"Oh No!" And then I relented and giggled. "Well, maybe…if he wasn't recovering from like a death defying injury."

"There's my girl!" He nodded to the waitress when she stepped up, and when he really smiled at her this time, her blush was immediate. "I want the richest, most decadent dessert you have. Then add some ice cream, please!" He added at the last moment, "And two spoons."

"Okay, so if you aren't going to accept my offer to be shamelessly exploited, will you at least make me a promise?" He waited for me to take the bait.

"Okay, I'm game. What are you bargaining for?"

"Bring him to see me in England. If he is brave enough to let you walk out of that hospital room to come see me…he's got enough balls to come 'across the pond' to visit. And, I get an invitation to the wedding."

I gasped at his assumption…not about getting an invitation, but that there would be one to receive. The waitress didn't know what to say as she sat the dessert between us. The sight of the chocolate did things to my insides…remembering the enticing smudge at the corner of Edward's mouth.

"Oh God, Bella, give it up," Rob said, and when I went to argue, he impolitely stuck a forkful of the dessert in my mouth. "Now, let's talk about how you are going to drive him crazy."

I wanted to tell him I was doing just fine on my own, but when I saw the female attention he engendered around us, attention I suddenly knew I'd missed without my sight, I realized…I better listen.

~SOMP~

Saying goodbye to Robert had been harder than I expected. He'd gently brushed the tears from below my eyes away. "Don't, please," he'd said, before placing a kiss to my forehead. "Talk him into bringing you to see me. And hey…" he'd smoothed his thumbs below my eyes one more time "…congratulations."

I could still see his sad smile as we'd waved goodbye, having turned in the taxi's back seat to watch him disappear from my field of vision.

"Where to?" the taxi driver asked.

I responded without hesitation, giving him my home address. I needed to get something, because even through the laughter and tears, I'd heard Robert's message clearly. Don't let anyone else tell you how to live and love…and to go after both with my fiercest determination.

~SOMP~

**Carlie POV**

"Daddy, can I talk with you?" I asked, watching him carefully yield his carving knife.

I'd found him at the back of the garage, in the small area he'd sectioned off for a workspace. The smell of cedar was almost permanent here…and it was comforting. I'd spent many hours sitting quietly, watching him create his masterpieces.

Finishing the almost imperceptible cut he was making, he looked up and smiled at me.

"Come in, Pip Squeak!"

He grabbed a rag from one of the tables and dusted off the stool I usually occupied. Scattered across the tables were several pieces of art in various stages of discovery. I often wondered how he chose which one to work on, but had long decided the secret would stay a mystery.

"Whatcha' makin?" I asked, moving to brush my fingertips across the silver necklace and wooden charm I wore. It was a small raven, and he'd given it to me for my last birthday. I treasured it in the same way I did the second Kindle my mom had given me.

"A bear for my dad. It's a gag gift…after that last fishing trip. Thought I'd give it to him for Christmas before his real present. I'm going to lace some fishing line through a tiny hole in the mouth and let it dangle."

I grinned, remembering the story we'd heard about Billy and the bear. They'd literally fought over the same fish, the bear snapping my grandfather's fishing line. My dad's eyes twinkled with mischief as he turned the block of wood again, eyeing it only the way an artist can.

"You about ready for me to take you to give your mom a break?" he asked. I was, but I'd spent the night trying to decide how to ask him my question. He knew me too well. "Hey, whatever you're worrying about just spit it out." Other than Seth, I'd never seen warmer brown eyes.

"I don't know what to call Edward." I stated it baldly.

My daddy's lips curled softly into a smile, and he sat the wood he'd been working on back onto the table, giving me his full attention.

"Have you asked him what he's comfortable with?"

"No…I…I wanted to talk with you first."

"Why?" He seemed genuinely puzzled.

The words rushed out of me. "Because you're my daddy! And…and when I saw him getting shot, that word just…"

"Hey!" he interrupted. "Carlie, are you worried you might hurt my feelings?"

Against my will, my eyes welled up.

"Oh!" His eyes grew wide. "Come here." He patted his lap, and without any reservations, I climbed up. When I pressed my cheek against his broad chest, he wrapped his arms around me. It was my safe place.

"I…I don't know what to call him, because I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I don't know if I can go back to just using Edward."

He squeezed me a little and put his chin on top of my head. "Call him Dad…well, I mean if that is what you want to do."

"But…but, that is your name. I mean, you've been my dad…it…"

"Carlie, I know you love me. Maybe I just have too big of an ego, but I'm fully secure in my relationship with you." He hesitated for a moment. "You know how we talked before that I actually liked your father?" He made me lean back so that he could see me nod my head "yes" before pulling me back to his chest and tucking me in again. Then, I felt the rest of his words rumble against me. "Well, I meant it. Now, he has the opportunity to convince me if I was right to do so. I'm going to give him that chance for your mom and you. If you want to call him Dad as well, then go ahead. He is your father, just like I claim to be."

"YOU ARE!" I hissed.

I felt and heard his chuckle at the same time. "Okay, pull your claws in."

He smoothed my hair down my back, just like he had when I was a little girl. I probably should have felt embarrassed that I was a teenager sitting in his lap like this, but I would gladly punch anyone who said anything.

"I tell you what, ask him what he wants to be called, and if you're comfortable with it, then go for it. But, you know, I'm kinda a plain guy. I don't do so well with subterfuge and all that…just get straight to the point."

I moved back to look at him, wanting to see if he was being sincere, and I couldn't find a hint of regret or hurt in his eyes.

"Daddy, are you sure?"

"Yeah, Pip Squeak. Gotta move on with this stuff. I think that we have enough work ahead of us without putting unnecessary hurdles in the way."

"But…"

"Carlie, just listen to me." He moved back again so that we faced one another. "I will always be your daddy. Nothing can ever take away the moments I spent with you as a baby, watching you learn to walk, and lose teeth, and fall, and cry, and rant like your mother." He and I both chuckled at that. "But Edward, through a tremendous mistake that he must make amends for, missed out on all that. What kind of man would I be if I felt belittled by the thought that you wanted to give him a chance? Your mom, aunt, and I have attempted to raise you, Seth, and Samantha to be exactly what you are attempting to be…a forgiving and loving individual. I won't promise you that I might not feel a twinge of jealousy every once in awhile, but that is just being human. 'kay?"

I felt the world lift off my shoulders at the sincerity of his words and feelings. "'kay." He smiled softly when I mimicked him. "I love you," I told him, knowing that other kids my age didn't often say those words to their parents. I didn't really care.

"Love you too, Pip Squeak."

We remained a few minutes like that until Seth came in.

"You ready to go?" he asked quickly, seeing the tears running down my cheeks.

"Yeah, I am," I replied and watched as our dad tried to hide brushing his own away. Seth's hand in mine provided the same grounding that my daddy's arms had.

~SOMP~

"Where's Mama going?" I asked my dad.

"She's meeting a friend," he replied as he moved to the walker he was required to still use.

The word "friend" seemed a little stressed, but I shrugged it off. I couldn't focus on their relationship before I fixed mine with him.

"Do you want to go for a walk through the halls first, or could we…" I cleared my throat "…could we talk?"

He turned quickly, and the words sputtered out of him. "Is everything okay?"

"No…no everything's great, I just wanted to ask you something."

He moved toward one of the chairs, gently lowering down into it. Pushing the walker over, I used it to sit beside him. Unlike my other father, worry was clearly evident in the green of his eyes.

"My dad said that I'm often a little complicated in the way I go about things. He is more to the point, and he kinda suggested that I be the same way today."

Edward chuckled at my words, and he muttered in good humor, "Yeah…I have _no idea_ where you get that from."

I grinned at his admission that quite possibly he might be the same way.

"What would you like for me to call you? Dad? Daddy? Father? Edward?"

His eyes blazed with some emotion for the briefest second before he had to clear his throat. "What…" another cough "…what would you like to call me?"

Seth, like our dad, had suggested on the trip over that I just get straight to the point. So, I took their suggestion.

"Dad."

As much as he tried, he couldn't keep the tears from forming. "I would like that very much, but I think that before I'm given that honor, there was another question you've asked me that needs to be resolved. Only after that…do I think you should make that decision."

Oh…the whole name calling thing. "Well, I actually got a fairly good picture from that woman."

He took a very deep breath, and I saw him grimace a little from it. I wondered if now was really the time to do this, but I understood what he was saying…that we needed to clear the air before I made a decision to call him Dad.

"I told you before that I was ruthless that day." He grimaced again, but whether it was from pain or the memory, I couldn't say. His next words cleared up my confusion, though; his reaction was from embarrassment. "It doesn't feel right for me to say these things in your presence, Carlie, because they are horrible and inappropriate. They were doubly so to your mother, because she was nothing but innocent. Please forgive me for what I'm about to repeat. I called your mom every nasty thing I could imagine, from being a bitch to a money-hungry whore. I insinuated that she'd slept with me as a way to get to my money, and alluded that I'd just spent time with her until something better came along. I laughed in her face when she reached for me and told her she'd been a waste of time."

I struggled to keep my eyes on his, and I could tell he was doing the same. Hurtful…the words even now where devastating, but the Tanya woman had already taken the first rush of anger away, so it was easier not to react.

"I can tell you this…I never called her plain. Even at my angriest, or maybe I should really call it my craziest, your mother was always, and still is, the most beautiful woman in the world to me."

A faint blush stole over his cheeks, and I couldn't help but smile a little at it.

"Were you high when you said those things?" I asked bluntly.

His eyes jerked to mine, and I saw the agony race through them. "Yes, but it isn't or wasn't an excuse."

"No, you're right, it isn't, but I just wanted to understand your frame of mind at the time." I could tell him that Seth and I had witnessed a bunch of stupid teenage behavior under the influence, but even with the individuals I knew from school, I'd never allowed the stuff to excuse too much.

"I wasn't too creative at the time, so I continued to just spout the same filth at her, just changing up the words a little. What haunts me is that I turned and left her in front of all the others, after having said all that. My understanding is that she never stepped a foot into the school after that day."

"Never stepped a foot in a school afterwards, ever," I mumbled and then realized my mistake.

"What!" he gasped. "She never went back? At all?"

I shouldn't have said anything. But if it this was a moment for honesty and all… "No, she never even got her GED. Just didn't care, I guess."

He blanched at my words. "Unacceptable!" he whispered.

"Dad." My use of the word was intentional. I knew I'd still need to work through my pain at what he'd done, but I wanted him to know that we were going to go forward. "She never took the time and now it just doesn't matter to her, I think. She is so smart that everyone just assumes that she went to college and stuff."

I could see the wheels in his mind literally turning. He took a deep breath before saying, "Well, if she ever wants to, we'll just have to support her."

That was exactly the answer I'd wanted to hear, that he wasn't going to automatically start in on her about it, but that if she ever desired to go back, he'd stand beside her.

"Now, we need to speak about another item of importance." He shuddered involuntarily at my words, and I almost laughed out loud at his reaction. "Sam 2, what are your plans?"

"Sam 2?" He was confused. It was an adorable look.

"Little Samantha. Are we taking her home with us?

Poor man, he looked like he'd been hit with a baseball bat at my bluntness. I should've warned him that although there was a lot of him in me, there were also equal amounts of Jacob Black.

"I haven't…spoken to your mother…"

"Pfft." I snorted. "That woman is so wrapped." I rolled my eyes, and he actually chuckled at the expression. "Did Meme design the plans for Aunt Rose's and Aunt Alice's houses?"

He nodded, but it now looked like he'd been run over by a train instead of just being hit with a bat.

"Well, she and I need to have a serious talk about the kid side of what you are going to build. I have some non-negotiable specifications for my and Sam's suites." While he struggled to catch up…I was giving him some leniency because of the pain killers…I prattled on, entertaining him while I forced him to get up and start walking.

An hour later, when we walked back into the room and he collapsed back on the chair, he just handed me his phone. "Call Mom and tell her that she has met her match. I just want to at least have some say in my room." He chuckled when I stuck my tongue out at him.

I knew he'd wanted to say "your mom and my rooms," but he was being so very careful.

I let that one slide, but spent the next hours watching him take a nap, talking to him about school and music, and just generally being silly. So, when my Poppa showed up and asked to speak with my father alone, I never questioned the request, determined to give my dad at least a moment's privacy and rest from my enthusiasm. Instead, I went in search of Sam 2, determined to get her thoughts on the idea of a large kid's living room with two suites coming off of it.

My parents were idiots if they believed that they were going to spend much more time apart. I was their daughter, and as such, probably did have some supernaturally weird connection with them. But if I could show them my thoughts, they would be full of my visions of them interacting. In my dreams, hurts, harsh words, big mistakes and all, we were all still a big happy, boisterous family.

~SOMP~

**Edward POV**

To say I had whiplash would be an understatement.

First, Bella had told me about Robert, and my heart had almost gone into overdrive with the thought.. Then to find out that this someone was not only still in touch, but in town…it had just about killed me to see her walk out the door. There was no doubt that I trusted her, but I couldn't help the strangled feeling that overcame me when she did leave. It was my self-doubt wrapping around my throat. But I'd known that if there was to ever be any hope for us, that I'd needed to let her see my trust of her, even if I didn't trust I was enough.

Then, Carlie had brought up the conversation that'd been postponed between us. I'd expected to have a much longer one…much more detailed, so I'd wondered if we'd truly finished it. Tanya may have literally taken the sting out of the situation, but her untimely interference hadn't resolved it. I was quite certain that the few words we'd said weren't the end of it, but it seemed that, at least for this day, she was ready to move on.

And move on she had…to a just as interesting topic. Samantha. Shell-shocked was an adequate description of what I'd felt at her words. Yes, I wanted to step in and pursue the possibility, but I'd realized that to do so would mean some sort of very weird and uncomfortable conversation. The reality was that I wanted Bella, Carlie, and Samantha; I was a very greedy man. But Bella and I were just attempting to work out a plan to give us a try, so how did I even begin to talk about something so long term with her. How could I not? I was between a rock and a hard place. And then Carlie had acted as if it was all a given. My greedy side had wanted to shout with joy, but my rational side had attempted to lasso me in. Having handed her my phone, my thoughts had been…so I build a big house, what difference did it make.

Then my father brought up the rear…

"The cleaning lady found her. Eleazar told me the police believe she'd been dead at least two days. It was an overdose. Heroin."

Dear God! I couldn't deny that I'd felt like strangling Tanya at times, but I knew I'd never have followed through with it. I'd never touched a woman in anger, and it was an indisputable fact that my life would have been better had I not verbally abused Bella in such a condition either. But I'd never truly wanted Tanya dead…just living her life away from me…happily. I'd thought she'd found that in Garrett, but it would seem she hadn't. I grieved to think of her husband and newborn.

"Dad, they're certain? It's not a mistake?" I asked, still truly unable to believe what he'd just told me.

"Edward, there's no doubt from what Eleazar told me. He's devastated, blaming himself for spoiling her and generally grieving deeply. He waited to call me until they received the word from the coroner. I think he was unwilling to lay anymore strain on us, considering."

"Did he know about her attendance at the competition?"

"Yes. He was horrified when someone he knew called him about it. He apologized for her behavior when he called to check up on you."

"He takes too much responsibility for her actions." Then I realized what I'd said. "Did take…"

My dad stared at his clasped hands, his arms resting on his knees. We sat beside each other on hospital chairs, and I wonder if he was thinking back to the times when this could've easily been me.

"I tried several times to get her clean," I admitted. My words caused him to look directly at me. "After you helped me get straight, I tracked her down. Not because I wanted to get back with her, but because she'd been like family. I wasn't successful, obviously. Tanya always thought I was just trying to get her back. I don't know…I thought that Garrett might be the answer. Or at least the baby."

I was blathering; the shock of what my father had told me rendering me almost idiotic. I'd never been in love with Tanya, but she'd been a large part of my family as I grew up. Even after the disillusionment, Uncle Eleazar and Aunt Carmen had remained close. I'd never felt an ounce of anger from either of them.

Rubbing my fists against my eyes, I tried to relieve the burn. Bella's announcement, Carlie's surprises and assumptions, Tanya's death. It'd been a long day.

"When is the funeral?" I asked.

"There won't be one. They're attempting to reach Garrett, but the last time that Tanya did her will and expressed her final wishes, it was to be cremated. Eleazar indicated that they will have a memorial ceremony, but he'll want to discuss it with Garrett. I don't envy Eleazar that conversation, considering that it would seem that they'd been talking about a divorce. The police found the papers on the kitchen table."

My eyes jerked to his, thinking of how convenient it would be for a spouse to just die, versus the lengthy court proceedings that would most likely occur. My father's gaze held mine, and I could see that he'd thought the same.

"Initial reports are that the police found neighbors who stated that Garrett had left the house earlier in the day, and that Tanya was seen alive after that point. He arrived home in a manner that didn't allow him time to go back. He has an iron-tight alibi, considering Social Services was waiting for him."

"WHY!" I hissed out.

"The baby was born with drugs in her system. Tanya was going to be brought up on child cruelty charges, Edward."

No! Tanya… What the hell had she been thinking? It was stupid to screw yourself up, but to knowingly jeopardize the baby, an innocent! To lose her child was probably enough to send Tanya over the edge. It would me.

"I don't know what to say," I admitted, floundering.

Luckily, my father understood. I was about to ask about how we could support Carmen and Eleazar when the door to my room opened and Bella walked through it. She stopped, seeing the expressions on mine and my father's faces.

"What's wrong?" she gasped, catching on quickly to the horror. She hurried to me, concern stamped across her features.

"Dad just came to tell me that they found Tanya dead in her home. She died of an overdose."

Her mouth popped open in shock. "Her husband and baby? Her parents?"

Of course Bella would automatically think of someone else's pain.

"Esme and I will be going over this evening to check on Eleazar and Carmen. I thought I might invite Marcus and Didyme to go with us, since Marcus was the person to introduce me to them so long ago. I know that they still are considered good friends. Bella, I don't know about Garrett and the baby. They'd separated," my dad told us.

Her eyes flashed at the news, and I could see that she was thinking the same thing as I had. "Garrett isn't under suspicion, Bella. It would seem it truly was an accidental overdose." I wouldn't say suicide, but the thought wasn't too unbelievable considering what Tanya was facing and about to lose.

My father rose, but not before grabbing Bella's hand to squeeze it gently. He then clasped me on the shoulder before saying, "News like this makes me count my blessings. Esme and I will go see them tonight. Tomorrow we are finishing up your recovery room Edward. I've asked Felix to come in tomorrow the morning to review your last tests, and if he agrees you can be released, I think we are going to up the date to tomorrow afternoon or evening. You could be sleeping at home tomorrow," he announced in a pleased voice.

I tried not to allow my emotions to show. It should sound wonderful, but it didn't. I'd thought I had one more full day to savor Bella's presence, but it would seem our respite from the real world was coming to a quick end.

"I'll see you two in the morning," he said quietly. "Before I leave, I'll track Carlie down."

"She'll most likely be with Samantha," I told him, and he didn't seem too surprised by that.

He nodded gently before exiting with a quick smile to us both.

Bella's presence was my full focus then…my eyes scanning her to see if I could find any clue as to how her day had gone. I hadn't really taken a decent breath since she'd left, but when she smiled gloriously at me, I felt my chest expand fully for the first time in hours. It was then I saw what she held in her arms.

It was a hardback copy of The Swan Song.

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><p><strong>AN: Home, next chapter. With Carlie's POV, the chapter got a little lengthy! I'll send Esme to those who reviewed last chapter and this one! <strong>


	43. SOMP Outtakes 37 through 42

**I am having difficulty with sending my Esme outtake via PM, so I'm posting here and will personally email each indiviual who reviewed! I'm so sorry!**

**In addition, I'm including Demetri and Aro/Tanya's outtakes since I had a hard time posting some to FF and Twilighted. **

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><p><strong>Demetri Outtake – Chapter 37<strong>

(FYI – Howard Teten is considered one of the fathers of modern criminal profiling. He helped establish the FBI unit at Quantico.)

The dinging of the hospital elevator was monotonous. Hordes of medical professionals caused it to stop at each level, scurrying to and fro in an attempt to cure the ills of society. Me…I did the same, just on a very different level. My mind was already fixated on the latest lead I had, and my fingers itched to get to the makeshift system I'd set up in my new home.

The Suits believed he'd taken another victim, a young female child, age 5. She fit the MO perfectly…reddish hair, green eyes. From a poor family, she hadn't been called in missing until her crack head mother cleaned up enough to realize she was gone. It'd been over 24 hours, and I wasn't hopeful. Teton and Mullaney had both guest lectured while I was in training at Quantico, and of all the things that had reverberated in my head, it was the sense of finality about many of the victims. Contrary to the popular movies that held the audience captive with the agents' race to save someone, most victims were dead within 24 hours of being taken. Rarely did a monster keep their "toys" alive longer than that.

I couldn't think about the little girl, because to do so would distract me. I'd prayed for her, but also asked God to give me focus. It was why I was good at what I did…tracking the monster instead. I was too emotional and recognized it within myself. Agents were supposed to arrest the Perp and place them in the "capable hands" of the judicial system. We weren't supposed to be gods…judge, jury, and executioners. It was well within my personality to be such a person though. It was a character flaw that I hid well.

After Stefan, I'd come face to face with my own monster. I wasn't ashamed I'd had a hand in his death, but I was somewhat in fear of the person I knew I could be. It wouldn't be surprising to find it was genetic, compliments of generations after generations of men and women within my family that had ruled small kingdoms both legal and illegal. Stefan had known, once I revealed my relationship with Heidi and my family ties, that his heartbeats were limited. Instead of facing it like a man, he'd thrown himself off the balcony. The fact that I wasn't a murderer was a technicality, because I would have ended his life. So maybe there wasn't blood on my hands, but it was definitely splattered all over me. I was no different than some of the best law enforcement officers. The public didn't always know about the parasites that were exterminated before they could bring or continue their infestation in this world.

My mind was sometimes a dark place, but my self-reflection on the monster within served as a catalyst for what I did…dissecting others. The looks of absolute certainty on the faces of many of my mentors told me that they too had their stories. War stories…Teton called them.

As if my reflections on legacies and my hero had summoned her, Dr. Paschal entered the elevator on the second floor, glared at me, and then promptly presented me her back. Her very elegant back…and backside…

She'd said she had other appointments, but I'd assumed they were outside the hospital. Little  
>Do Gooder…<p>

She was as infamous as her grandfather. Teton had once been asked why he dedicated his life to monsters. His answer had been simple. "If I don't, who will? I too have loved ones I want to keep safe at night. Libby's face helps me to remember that it is someone's daughter, son, granddaughter, or grandson out there."

Dr. Elizabeth "Libby" Paschal.

I'd been a favorite of the instructors at Quantico, and as such, I'd been allowed into the inner sanctum. Teton had been taken to lunch after his guest lecture and schmoozed, and I'd, as a wide-eyed new recruit, listened in intent to what he'd said. Thinking that it would be something of great wisdom, I thought I would hear of the "war stories." Instead, he'd shared how retirement felt and the joy he was having in being able to help raise his only granddaughter. From his words, I would have assumed that he meant a mere child, but when one of the others had asked where she was in school, I'd been startled to hear John Hopkins.

"She gives me a run for my money. Just wait, you'll hear the name Elizabeth Paschal one day."

He'd gone on to refer to her as Libby.

I'd forgotten all about her, but I hadn't failed to remember the lesson that day. Unknowingly, Teton had clearly made it apparent that family really was his focus. His work with monsters was an attempt to protect those near and dear to him…and others.

The elevator opened, and she walked out in front of me. I couldn't help but smirk seeing the light swaying of her hips in the classic dark blue skirt. She wasn't afraid to be feminine though…the curve of the waist was dramatically flattering and intriguing.

God was showing me favor as she walked in the same direction as my car. I was betting she was going to get in some environmentally friendly thing…her choice in cars as rigid as her morals about the individuals she worked with.

"Are you having fun?" her husky voice caught my attention, and I forced my eyes away from her assets.

Jerking up, I was glad that she hadn't turned to see where I'd been staring.

"Pardon me. I'm sorry that the fates aligned for me to park in the same lot as you," I answered back, grinning at the falsehood. I was very much enjoying the whims of fate.

She turned at that and leveled me with a look of cool disdain. What I wouldn't give to wipe it off her face and have her gasping my name instead, arching against me, pupils dilating in lust. WOAH! Back up. She was exactly all wrong for me. I mentally scrubbed my eyes and brain, trying to control the wayward thoughts.

She arched a delicate eyebrow at me. "Problem?"

Damn, she'd caught on to me.

"Only with shrinks that think all beings should be placated and pampered," I spat, and immediately regretted it.

It was an ingrained stereotype and one I didn't always espouse. I'd worked with a few good Squints…but only a few. Her "Fed" comment earlier had made me mad though…she was assuming as much as my asinine comment portrayed me as doing.

"Well then, it is a good thing this is goodbye." She stepped to the side of every man's wet dream.

A cherry 1967 Shelby Cobra 427. The ultimate muscle car…

Pulling a long scarf from her purse, she wrapped it around her hair and put on a pair of oversized glasses in Audrey Hepburn style. In less than a blink of an eye, she cranked up the beast and elegantly drove out of the spot, barely missing me. Actually, I was quite certain that the bumper brushed my pants leg.

Beautiful, highly intelligent, and impetuous, she was as venomous as the Super Snake she drove. The burn of her bite was already spreading out from my heart, poisoning me.

Damn it…this was the last thing I needed.

**Tanya/Aro Outtake – Chapter 39**

(Please be aware that this outtake contains references to drugs and violence. If these are triggers for you, you may want to skip reading.)

Freezing…

I'd been so warm a few minutes ago, but now, I couldn't find the feeling again. The cold shut off, then it was back with a vengeance. I gasped at the sensation and then began choking as liquid ran down my throat. Coughing, I startled awake to find myself lying across a tile floor. I knew this tile…only the finest from Pietra Firma, and I'd deserved it for the spa masterpiece I'd designed.

Pushing the wet mess of my hair off my face, I looked up to see my estranged husband looking down at me, a neutral expression on his face.

"Son of a bitch!" I shouted at him, and he shut the water off, turning around to step out of the shower and leave the room.

My head throbbed from the echoing of my voice within the cavernous area of tile and glass to the point I was almost nauseous…then the feeling won out and vomit spewed from me all over the Italian marble. Acidic, rank, alcohol infused vomit that made me retch over and over. I wanted him to come back then, to at least turn the water back on to wash the vile stuff away.

Finally forcing myself up from the floor, I reached out and turned on warm water, washing my hair and body. It was only as I was toweling myself dry that the realization that Garrett was here took hold.

The baby!

Rushing through the littered and pungent bedroom, I threw on a robe, brushing my hair on the way. I slowed to a demure walk after taking the stairs down to the main level, assuming they would be in the kitchen. It wouldn't do for him to see me less than calm. And perfect… I hadn't forked out a bunch of money for surgeries to ensure I looked my best even in the morning for nothing.

Garrett sat at the kitchen table…alone.

"Where's the baby?" I screeched.

His dead eyes looked directly into mine and then he sneered. "She's at my home being monitored by a nurse, Tanya, still detoxing from whatever junk you put into your system just before she was born."

I froze, panic infusing me. It had only been a little…just to take the edge off.

"I don't know that you even deserve what I'm going to say, but considering at one time I loved you more than life itself, I'll clear my conscience by telling you that the authorities have been notified. You'll most likely be brought up on charges of child cruelty. You might want to get your father to find you a good attorney. But as for me, here are my demands." He slid a folder across the table toward me. "My attorney said I shouldn't give you anything, but this house…it means nothing to me anymore. Everything here I once held sacred has been defiled." Fury rose in me until he said the next words. "By the way, I threw the man out who was sleeping in our bed before I put you in the shower. Did you at least use protection?"

The shock of knowing he'd found the man here stunned me; I'd thought he'd left…and then the horror that I didn't know the answer to Garrett's question sank in.

He shook his head in disgust, standing as if to leave.

"Don't!" I begged, as the emotions that had been held in check raced through me.

I couldn't lose him. He was the only one who'd truly ever loved me. The stricken look to his face gave me hope, until he spoke.

"There is nothing left for us. When we first met, you were a different person. Then things seemed to change after we married. But, your willingness to speak with that family gave me hope that finally you were growing up a little, and that maybe we had a chance. After the last few years, I realized that I'd been a fool, and that the woman you were when we met was really the false one."

He stepped back when I went to touch him. "The only positive thing that came out of us is Lexie, and I will fight you for her. You won't win; I assure you. Straighten up, and if you don't go to jail, we'll speak about visitation. But for now, I've been advised by my counsel to not let you near her."

"She's not even yours!" I spit out, and then cringed at the falsehood, but it was a good way to hurt him, which is what I wanted to do.

"Maybe not, but I really don't care. She's mine."

"Wait!" I screamed as he began to walk out.

"Goodbye, Tanya."

I knew from the tone, it was final. There would be no winning him back, and suddenly, with crystal clarity, I became aware of what I'd just lost. The emptiness that had always been in my chest raged…his love of me had been the only thing keeping me together for so long. The shock kept me immobile too long, and by the time I raced through the front door intent on pleading with him, he was pulling out of the drive. I screamed for him to stop, but he kept going as if he didn't hear me. The neighbors did though, and I saw the nosy one looking at me, snubbing her nose in my direction. I hated her…and that prude of a husband standing behind her. Flicking my middle finger at them, I intentionally let my robe go and gave the old biddy and her prune a show before marching back into the house to rip open the envelope.

Divorce papers…

And the waterworks began, because even in being "through with me," Garrett was being…Garrett. He was giving me the house, half the money, and the vacation home in Hawaii. I would be a wealthy woman…but somehow it suddenly didn't amount to much. His only stipulation, no contact with him except in the event of arranging visitation.

Grabbing handfuls of my hair, I put my face to the table and began to sob…great ugly tears of pain.

"Perhaps you should have considered how your husband would react to your philandering before you engaged in it."

I startled up and saw Aro Velathri standing in the doorway leading toward the kitchen. How the hell had he gotten in? There was nothing but woods to the back.

"Actually and more importantly, you should ask yourself how I feel about your show of disobedience to my dictates," he murmured, looking down to smooth his gloved hands across the unrelenting black of his outfit.

"Fuck you!" I spat at him and before I thought about it raced forward to slap him.

The strength of his grip as he captured both wrists scared me, and I cried out. It was then I realized that they were bruised and flashes of the night before ran through my mind. The guy I'd brought home had used handcuffs on me, and my wrists were badly bruised. Aro's strength and the tenderness held me still. Looking up, I froze. Gone was the genteel man that flaunted himself on the television. Instead, before me was something far darker than I'd ever imagined. A chill washed over me at the cold blackness of his eyes.

"Your date really should have taken better care of you, but I must say that it well benefits me."

My robe had come open during my flight, and he looked down over me. I thought for a moment that I could use this, but the glee I saw in his eyes was not of a sexual nature.

"Tsk…tsk…so many bruises. How nice for me. Any you add during our struggle will be easily overlooked. With those words, he began pulling me toward the stairs. "I need a little more time to lapse, so that the gentleman who was your husband will have a credible alibi. They always suspect the spouse first, and that baby of yours deserves a parent. He seems, from all accounts, to be a good man, and I would certainly hate to have to defend him against my own actions."

Garrett was…I realized too late. But what did the demon mean?

When we hit the stairs, I started to falter, suddenly not wanting to go up them with him. Falling to my knees, I cried out as the bruises there suddenly became apparent.

"The boy you brought home…he was inept to leave such abrasions on you." He murmured darkly, but with unexplainable good humor.

Who the hell was this…he was strong beyond anything I could imagine, especially to be his age.

"Get up, or I will pull you up them. As I said, the timing of the bruises will coincide nicely enough. Particularly considering the mess I saw of your bedroom while I waited for Mr. Martling to leave."

He would, I realize…drag me up the stairs. Was he seriously that sick that he needed to force someone into sex, I wondered. Thinking that maybe I could seduce and then trick him, I rose and followed him up and into my bedroom. The stench when we reached it was horrid. The fresher odor of vomit seemed strongest, but the smell of sex and Heroin was clear. We'd smoked, but the guy had also brought needles. I'd wanted the high, so I'd tried and discovered a rush. Garrett's word suddenly took on new meaning. Had I shared a needle? Dear God, what had I done!

I'd think about that tomorrow, knowing I needed to outwit the surprisingly strong man in front of me. "So…what would you like?" I asked in my best sex voice, lowering my eyes at him seductively.

He laughed hard, and I started to see red. But my humor stopped with his next words.

"What I want is for you to die quickly, because I'm ready to go home to my wife. I detest such vulgarity, but this one is all mine, and unfortunately, I can't do it as expediently as I would like. You went against what I told you do to Ms. Martling. You hurt two individuals exceedingly precious to me. I warned you, and you chose to ignore my sage advice."

His words finally registered, and the panic took control. As hard as possible, I began struggling against him, but it was futile…his strength again surprising me. In a move I didn't even see, he spun so that my arms twisted behind me. I felt the snap of one of the handcuffs before I even realized I was near the bed. He moved pulling me down to the wrecked sheets, and then the second one was in place as well. I kicked at him with my legs, only serving to expose myself like a cheap whore.

With his covered fingers, he plucked the edge of my robe up and pulled it back over me. "I have no need for what you offer, Ms. Martling. Far more desirable and polished women than you have tried. My wife is beautiful beyond measure and has my full dedication and esteem, as she has from the moment we met."

"Fuck you, mother fucker! You aren't going to kill me; you don't have the balls. And when I get to the police, I'll bring every one of you down. Your little empire, your brothers, that bitch and her whelp that you are taking up for…all of them…"

Steepling his hands before him, he gazed at me from across the bed, as calm as a cucumber. He grinned at me in an ingratiating manner, as if what I'd said was amusing.

For what seemed hours, but was more likely just one, he stood beside my bed almost like a stone statue while I hurled insults at him and attempted to wiggle free of the cuffs. Finally, just when I thought he was simply getting off on the show, his phone rang, and he reached inside his pocket to pull it out. Tapping on it, his face seemed to glow with good will at what he saw.

"Your husband has arrived home. Much to his surprise, he has visitors. It is the Division of Children and Family Services. You know, when they do a home visit they are there for hours the first time. What better alibi could I have arranged for him?"

I was certain my eyes bugged out, and I jerked toward him, only to scream out in pain when the handcuffs cut around the already abused flesh of my wrists.

"I'm doing this as a favor to you, you know. I credit you partial responsibility for bringing my daughter to me and my wife. Without your need to manipulate, she might never have crossed my path. It is only for that reason that I have taken the extra precautions to ensure that he will have an airtight defense. Your little show for the neighbors didn't hinder my plan, since they clearly saw him leave and you still sober."

The hair on my neck stood up when I saw him bring a covered needle out from his pants.

Another tap on his screen and I heard movement down stairs. Within a few moments, an unfamiliar man walked into the room.

"Santiago…her legs please," he motioned over to me like I was a piece of meat on a slab.

The man moved toward me and even with me kicking, he managed to grasp my feet and then lay his body over my legs. Aro removed the cap from the needle, and as I screamed and attempted to move, he deftly utilized the advantage of my outstretched handcuffed arm and inserted the needle just above the bruises of my fledgling tries of the previous evening. The tingling flush told me what he'd just shot me up with…heroin. What I'd done last night, but this was stronger.

Deadly…I realized.

Cold disbelief took over.

"This is such an inelegant way for me to keep my word. But you see, I've been having you watched for awhile and the name of the game is to fool the authorities. So the death I would like to serve you must be forsaken for something more…plausible. It wouldn't do for anyone to be a suspect, and I certainly don't want your soon to be widower to deal with that."

The tears were falling down my face in great rivers. He wasn't going to allow me to die, was he? The warm flush over my skin was beginning to make me feel heavy, even as the euphoria started to take over. I giggled thinking I didn't even care…I'd lost everything anyway.

"This is a kindness I am doing…your husband will be able to create a wonderful mother of your memories. Your daughter will grow up believing that deep down you were a good woman. Only we will know the truth."

The other man began looking intently around me with a magnifying glass, and as he lifted my head and shoulders I wanted to snap at him, but couldn't find the energy. Finally, picking up one of the needles I'd used from the previous evening, he deposited it close to my side, and I realized that anyone walking in on me would assume it was the one I'd used last to get high.

"Boss, fingerprints should be on this one. I don't find any trace…"

"Very well, thank you. I'll meet you at the car in a minute."

He left and the black headed demon looked to me again. My legs and arms were so heavy that when he unhandcuffed me, I couldn't move. Pulling me down the bed by the toes, he left me sprawled across the filthy sheets.

"You won't suffer…mores the pity."

It appeared that he put the needle back in his pocket and looked around the room one more time.

"I would say this is from Isabella, but she is too soft heartened to even consider this type of retribution. So understand then that it is from me. I protect what is mine, Ms. Martling."

Without another word, he walked out.

The room grew misty, rose colored as the rush of feeling continued through me. For once in my life, I felt happy, like all my cares were gone, and I was floating on a warm cloud. Somewhere in the distance, I heard the baby crying and hoped that Garrett would get her, wake her up. She seemed in pain, this baby I heard. Alone… And somehow I thought she must have always been that way.

But what was I to care, the warmth of my fix lulled me, and I surrendered to it.

**Esme Outtake – Chapter 42**

Smoothing the soft blanket across the bed, I took a final look at the room to see if I could do anything else to make it inviting. Unlike the larger connected room, this one overlooked a small corner of the garden. It was a tranquil place and had served as my private escape when the other room had been my and Carlisle's master room. We'd given the area up for an even larger room on the other side of the house during a remodel. I loved the balcony we now had overlooking the Sound, but I had to admit to missing the garden at times.

I was hoping that the room might prove to be restful for Bella if she chose to stay some nights.

Who was I kidding? I was hoping that it would entice her to stay…the connected room being the one we'd set up for Edward.

Staying away from my son had just about killed me, but one look at Bella's face when he woke up told me everything I needed to know. I'd deal with the anxiety of not being there in order to give them an opportunity to talk. According to Carlisle's account of her initial reaction to Jenks, it would seem that Bella was as much a mother bear as I was. I'd been pleased when she threw his briefcase out of the room. Unbeknownst to her, in that moment, she'd calmed my fears and allowed me to give up control

So instead of sitting beside him, I'd done what I always had…I did things for them. When Edward had called about the mushroom dinner, I'd cooked, and it'd been a labor of love. When Carlisle had slyly suggested a room beside the one I'd fixed for Edward, my mind had instantly determined what we could use. Now it was full of books, a comfortable bed, and a chaise lounge. The windows overlooking the garden did make it look like a wonderland, so it was appropriate that Bella would possibly grace it with her presence. Carlie could choose to "crash" (as my grandchildren would say) with her mother or stay in her room.

Of course, this was all assuming that Bella would want to be that close to Edward after the hospital. So much was still up in the air.

One last look at the room, and I finally accepted that anything else would be more overkill than Carlisle was already accusing me of. My husband just wanted to tease me. He'd willingly participated in helping me manage the furniture…and enjoyed the thanks I'd given him afterward.

It was all about knowing each other's love language.

Five years ago, the kids had sent us on a marriage retreat. At first, I'd been insulted, unable to imagine how things could get any better. Alice had soothed me with the statement that it was really just a seminar being presented at the spa she'd chosen. When we arrived, Carlisle and I'd already determined that we would ignore the sessions for the opportunity to just enjoy one another, but a chattering bunch of men had caught his attention. Of course, it'd been words like "more sex" that caught his attention.

Rolling my eyes at the man that believed that a night without was synonymous with a "marriage on the rocks," I'd gone on to check us in. But I hadn't been surprised when Carlisle came in with the puppy dog eyes. So, in between the romantic walks on the beach and massages, we'd attended, and it'd been the best thing in years to happen to us.

It'd made what I considered a wonderful marriage, dynamic. We'd come away with the understanding of the things that'd needled us over the years. My need for him to pick up the dirty clothes, or maybe even start a load. His need for just a languid kiss, that didn't always have to lead to me tearing his clothes off. My need for the grass to be done, even when it was going to be a big football weekend. His need to hold my hand like a teenager in love, even when I looked frumpy and was crabby.

His language of love was physical touch; mine was acts of service. And coming to understand those was the reason he'd carried three headboards down for me to choose from, and why I'd rewarded him with things I blushed about. Making love to Carlisle had always been the most loving and amazing thing. But somewhere along the way…three kids…grandkids…heartbreak…I'd forgotten what it was like just to have sex. Carlisle adored making love, but he'd been stunned by our return to the…um…not so loving play.

Rose's look, when she'd caught me with some erotic literature, had been priceless. "MOM!" Then she'd snatched it out of my hand and eyed it critically. "I have better. Let me sneak it away from the house, because if Emmett was to find out…"

Enough said…my son would've never let me live it down.

I was adventuresome, but I wasn't a spring chick. Some of the "better" Rose had given me was physically impossible, but I'd enjoyed what I could manage, as had my husband.

As if my thoughts summoned him, he stepped into the door of the room, a folded load of laundry in his hands. Hm…my Acts of Service boy.

"I heard the dryer chime when I came in," he grinned, and it made him look like a young scalawag.

"Thank you." I nodded my head toward the other room. "They're for Edward's makeshift room."

His tucks weren't as clean as mine, but I had to let it go. It'd been one of my lessons. But when he came up to tweak one of my pillows, I couldn't help but bark out, "HEY!"

His chuckle was my warning, and I shuddered against him when he caught me from behind and pulled me back against him.

"He'll be home tomorrow. Felix is coming just to check the results, but he actually gave his opinion that it was time over the phone. I didn't want to tell them until Felix really looks over everything."

I grinned at the news, laying my head against his chest.

"Have you finished creating your den of iniquity?" he murmured just before reaching to brush my hair away from my neck and placing his lips to the sensitive skin there.

I snorted at his description, shivering at the play of his teeth against my skin. So what if I was making it a little convenient. If Bella would have us, I was going to do everything I could to make it quick.

"I think it's acceptable," I said in a very stern voice, but gasped when he placed his hands to my hips and pulled me fully against him. "Carlisle…" I growled at the feel of him.

"What! We'll have children at home tomorrow, and I'll have to be good," he whined.

"As if that has ever kept you from misbehaving," I groaned at the tug of his teeth.

"But we'll be expected to present a reputable front, so they'll feel like they're sneaking around. It'll add to the excitement. They'd be devastated if we made it easy," he argued, and then spun me around to face him. My world upended as he hoisted me over his shoulder and took off toward our suite.

Our only distraction came in the appearance of our oldest. He opened the front door just as we walked through the living room and proceeded to slap his hands to his eyes as he bellowed out, "OH GOD! Can't you two be normal?" We heard him ranting back down the walk.

"That one knows…" I teased.

"He doesn't count. He's a lawyer and expects me to be anything but reputable," Carlisle countered.

~SOMP~

As the moonlight flitted over my husband's bare chest, the breeze from the choppy water below drifted up over the balcony, snaking through the open door to chill me. I snuggled closer to Carlisle and reached down to pull the blanket over us. Something in his dreams caused him to tighten his arms around me for a moment, and then he settled back down.

It was peaceful…this night. My husband, whom I loved beyond life, rested beside me. Two of my children were secure close by in their homes with their loves and babies…and my lost one was returning to me finally. Bella…I still had so much to make amends for, but I was hoping I would have the chance now, and Carlie, well she was a treasure I didn't deserve.

As I threaded my fingers through the fine hair of my husband's chest, I knew that I would cook a million dinners, design a thousand houses, arrange a multitude of rooms, and put up with a thousand wisecracks from my eldest…to bring hope back to my house.


	44. Freedom

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I couldn't do this without you, as you well know!**

**I apologize to you for not sending Esme as a direct PM for reviews. I had a techie look at my computer, and I think he fixed the problem. FF and I might be friends again…**

**Hope you enjoy.**

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

I couldn't help but scan Bella for any signs of how her lunch had gone, having tried my best not to dwell on it during the hours she'd been away. In one sense, it'd been easier than I thought since I focused on Carlie and our topics of conversation. In others, it'd been harder, the reality that she was with someone she'd cared for, most likely still cared for, crashing in on me at odd moments like a tsunami strength wave.

Sensing her interest about what my father had just told me, I pushed my own curiosity about the book in her hands away and filled her in as my father walked out. "Tanya's father contacted my dad and let him know about her passing."

"Did her husband find her?" she asked neutrally, but I felt better when she came over to sit in the chair beside me, setting her purse down on the table and drawing her legs up and under her to settle comfortably.

"No, they'd separated. Her cleaning lady found her, or at least that was what dad was told."

"How do you feel about it?"

What a loaded question! But I'd sworn to be bluntly honest with her, so I did my best to describe my thoughts. "I'm kinda all over the place, really. I feel sad that her baby won't have a mother and for her husband. Even if they weren't together, I imagine that he'd never believed this would be the end of it. But since I'm really closer to Eleazar and Carmen, my thoughts are primarily around them. They loved Tanya."

She nodded at me when I took a moment to think…encouraging me to continue.

"It's strange, but when I found out, it wasn't the image of Tanya of my teenage years and mistake that rushed through my mind, it was the one of my childhood…the girl that played with us. I guess I should feel guiltier that I hadn't done much over the last years to maintain contact, but like I was telling Dad, when I cleaned up, I went back to attempt to help her, steer her in the right direction. When I realized she wasn't really ready to change her ways, I left. It wasn't until several years later that I learned she'd met Garrett. Figuring it would be the ultimate in bad taste, I didn't attend the wedding. The day Mom called to say that Tanya wanted to meet with us…well to say it was surprising would be an understatement."

I shrugged in embarrassment at Bella, unable to really make it pretty.

"So there is a part of me that grieves she couldn't find true happiness even with her husband and baby. But there is also another part, however, that doesn't feel much at all. And I feel guilty about that, because she was a person…a human being…and one that I was involved with."

Looking up to find tears in her eyes, I admitted, "I went back for her, to help her, because it was the right thing to do. I had something to possibly offer. But what I should have been doing was coming for you, despite what I thought about myself at the time. It makes me angry."

"Because you thought you'd only bring me trouble and pain?" she said softly.

"Yes." I watched her face as she processed my admission. "Looking at it now, I realize what an idiotic decision I made. And to be honest, it shows how egotistical I was. I just assumed that my presence would be difficult." For all I knew, she was in a relationship with the man she'd just come from at the time. Or she could have been alone… It honestly didn't matter now. We needed to go forward to see if we could find a new "us."

"Well, I'm just as torn to find out what you just told me. I want to hate Tanya, yet I feel as if it is wrong to do so considering what happened. I find the fact that you tried to go back afterward and help so very…Edward. The Edward I knew…then thought was fake…and am now finding out was real. She looked off as if gazing into the distance for a moment, but then came back to me. "I can't help but say that there is a disappointed part of me. I wanted to confront her, and now, I'll never get the chance."

I felt bad about that as well and was about to offer to be her stand in for Tanya. But she knew me too well…

"Don't even think about it. You and I still have too much to work out without you taking on her guilt," she growled at me. It was adorable, and so very Bella-like that I grinned at her.

She rolled her eyes at my expression. And when she did, I couldn't help my eyes going back to what she still had in her hands.

"Did you decide to read the book?" I asked, my curiosity killing me.

"I've already…read…it." Her tone was slightly off, but I didn't know what to make of it. "I actually brought this copy for you. Yours is about to fall apart…so it's a gift."

A gift! For me! The idea that she'd thought about it during her day away…and with the other man…made me feel lightheaded with hope.

"But before I just hand it over, I wanted to know what you really thought about the book. You said that the dedication spoke to you, but you didn't tell me if you enjoyed the book, hated it, or was just neutral. Quid pro quo…your thoughts for the book." She smirked in a devilish nature before saying, "I'm certain my interpretation will be far superior to yours."

Laughter tore out of me, and it was healing. This was a game we played before…a test of wits. One of us would find an interesting book and buy a copy for the other. After our marathon reading session, we'd enter into debate. How odd we'd been as teenagers, but the process had provided some of my most cherished memories of our times together. _"I'm certain my interpretation will be far superior to yours."_ Those were fighting words.

"So I get a new copy to replace my dog-eared paperback one if my thoughts about the author's motivation or meanings are more likely than yours? Who'll be the judge, Bella? Emmett's not here to play peacekeeper," I challenged, feeling very alive at the moment. Love was just one of the things I craved from Bella.

"Oh…I think we can come to some sort of intelligent compromise," she responded cryptically. Who knew the thoughts going through her head? I'd wanted to a million times, but she was infuriatingly confounding to me at times. This was one of them, but I wasn't about to miss out on the opportunity to enter into lively debate with her.

So settling back into the chair comfortably, I waved my hand to her. "Ladies choice. Do you want to go first, or me?"

A twinkle in her eye told me that she had some secret, and after seeing the excited look on her face, I wasn't surprised when she pointed her finger to me.

"Well, let me start by saying that I didn't read the book until it had been on the bestselling list for several months, so my opinion may be swayed by the positive reviews. As a matter of fact, I'm not certain I ever heard anything negative, other than the fact that the author wouldn't reveal herself." It'd been a matter of much debate in the popular press.

"Oh, there were a few," Bella said lightly.

"Really? It must have been in the very beginning. Idiots, I bet," I declared. No book was perfect and was often subject to each individual's interpretation and own prejudices, but The Swan Song was really about self-discovery, so I imagined it would have had to be some callous SOB to have found a negative to it…someone who had no soul to even examine.

Bella snorted at my statement.

"Marla's journey through life was the epitome of all the trials and tribulations that humans can face. I wanted to shout for joy when she found those around her that were friends and cry when she lost some to tragedy. I fought with the author's choice to have her remain alone throughout the story and wanted her to find her soul mate.

"When she sang at the end, her voice…the way it was described was so beautiful, so realistic, so poignant. I wanted to fly with her, to feel the freedom of slipping from this world into the next."

"So you think that was all it was?" she asked softly, a strange questioning tone to her voice. "A wonderful story of a girl who grew up, then old, and passed on to the next world… only learning to sing as death overcame her?"

I chuckled at her. "Absolutely not! Other than Orwell's Animal Farm, I've never read a finer allegorical novel. She'd found freedom in accepting that life was but a journey, and like the popular saying goes…it wasn't the destination but the journey that made it sweeter. I felt like once she'd let go of the bonds that had kept her chained, that only then could she really taste freedom.

"I don't think Marla died like so many of the critics proposed. The swan's song at the end, I refuse to believe that it signified death, but instead I've chosen to think that the author was using it to represent rebirth. Marla had finally learned to sing. The writer was very clever, and although it was written in a way that the reader could easily be led to think that the storyline covered a lifetime…I think it just covered a period of Marla's life. Her swan song was really just her acceptance of the seasons in her life and her celebration of breaking free of the bonds that had been placed on her."

I realized that, in my passionate response, I'd lost touch with Bella and looked over to see her eyes full of tears.

"For me, unlike a lot of others, it wasn't a feel good book."

I heard her gasp, and my eyes widened a little at the question she asked me. "Edward, why do you say that?"

"Because it pointed out what people…what I…chose to forget, that we aren't promised anything in life. It was about finding the joy in what we have while we labor to become what we want to be. I've struggled with the lesson, with finding moments of happiness in the chaos I built of my life. It has meant so much to me because it was almost a road map for what I needed to do, even if it took awhile for me to start my own journey. My thoughts, my agony, my dreams litter the margins of the copy I have at home."

I felt a little self-conscious about the look on Bella's face. I'd probably gone too much in depth, but then I realized who I was talking to…the woman/girl who'd debated with me for hours over the symbolism of the characters of Wuthering Heights.

"I took Emmy and Jasmine to the park one day, and they insisted on feeding the ducks. We stopped and purchased a bag full of corn from one of those sidewalk vendors." I grinned remembering the two running around the lake shore excited about the noisy geese and ducks that surrounded them. "Before too long, a lone swan came around a curve in the lake heading toward us. The girls were mesmerized. Of course they wanted to feed it, throwing grains of corn in its direction in an attempt to lure it closer. I didn't know if it was a female or male, but it was clear that it was alone. The girls were so thrilled with its beauty, but all I could see was the bird's forlornness. When Emmy and Jasmine finally ran out of corn, it drifted away…" I tried not to tear up because I'd just freaking done that enough around Bella–I barely managed to keep the remembered feeling of pain in. "Just before it disappeared out of sight, the most plaintive sounding song floated back over the water toward us."

I quoted the verse that had run through my head that day.

"The wild swan's death-hymn took the soul

Of that waste place with joy

Hidden in sorrow: at first to the ear

The warble was low, and full and clear…

But anon her awful jubilant voice,

With a music strange and manifold,

Flow'd forth on a carol free and bold;

As when a mighty people rejoice

With shawns, and with cymbals, and harps of gold…"

"Tennyson," she whispered, looking down at the book.

Of course she would know the quote. "The swan…the symbolism hit me…it was me. Alone and drifting aimlessly through life." I didn't want to say "and crying after his lost love," but I was certain she was aware of what I'd left off. "Passages from The Swan Song overwhelmed me as the bird disappeared from sight, mocking me with the peace that Marla had found. I knew then what I wanted to, had to change, what wasn't working for me anymore, and that I needed help to really do what I needed to do. I asked several colleagues for the name of the toughest, most critical therapist they knew." I couldn't help the grin. "Imagine my surprise when I walked in to Elizabeth's office. She looks like a fragile doll, but my notion was quickly disabused."

She grinned over at me. "I think Deme is going to find that out really quick."

"I agree." The heat pouring off the two had been scorching. "But of course, now I'm anxious to find out what you thought about the book, Bella." She surprised me, handing me the copy she had in her hands gently. "What are you doing? I haven't won yet…" I stopped talking when she began crying softly. "Bella!" I was beginning to panic and wanted to pull her into my arms, but hesitated, uncertain if I had the right yet.

"I'm okay. I'm sorry," she gasped, sniffling through the words. "Your words and observations, they just hit home."

I remained silent while she pulled herself together. I really wanted to know what she'd thought about the book I held. Had she had some of the same observations, or did she see something totally different. She'd lost so much in life, much at my hands, and I wondered if she'd related to the protagonist's struggle. To what Marla had given up and the suffering she'd endured? What had Bella thought about Marla's Swan Song…the protagonist who'd loved music so much, loved to listen, but been afraid to try her own voice…until the very end.

"That is a gift, not a prize for the debate. Open the book Edward," she directed me, fluttering her hand toward me. Uncertain as to why that would matter; I did as she told me. And then gasped…

It was a signed copy. The name Anonymous done out in large almost calligraphic print. Turning to the title page, I realized it was a first edition.

"I don't understand. This is too much. How?" Her hand on mine stopped my question, and I looked up to see Bella gazing at me in question and challenge.

Time seemed to stand still as a strange sense of electricity passed between us. It wasn't sexual, but deeper, more like a shifting of the earth below me, making me unstable and uncertain. Bella watched me quietly, and the hair stood up on the back of my neck. It was if my mind was refusing to accept what my soul recognized. It couldn't be…it would be the epitome of poetic justice. But still… A drone of awareness built somewhere in my heart as I barely kept myself from turning to the dedication.

G.E.

I knew it well.

"_Hey Edward! Get your scrawny ass down here; we have a pool party to get to!" Emmett's voice bellowed out. "Bella, go get your boyfriend. He's killing me."_

"_Hey Green Eyes! C'mon!" she giggled out, most likely at something that Emmett did._

Green Eyes.

A wheeze of breath hissed out of my tortured and savaged lungs. I couldn't even watch as her hand turned the pages to the dedication. My soul…it wanted to sing the swan's song of rebirth with its suspicion. My mind, the thing that had often been my biggest detractor, said it was the true swan song of death, the one last moment of beauty before all was lost. But my soul…well, it won, and found a curious mixture of peace and joy when I looked down to see Bella's signature just below the dedication to me.

The breath that entered back into my body, when my human nature demanded it, was infused with the sweet smell of hope.

"Rock or water?" I asked. It was but a gasp, and I didn't know if she would remember the words I'd said enough to understand what I was asking. _"I've often wondered who the G.E. was to whom the author dedicated the book. Was he or she the water or the rock? In the end, did they dance merrily or was he/she only a stop in the destination?"_

"Both," she replied honestly.

"Oh God, Bella! What a fool you must have thought I was when I began talking…" Her fingers against my lips stopped the flood of stupidity.

"I wrote it as my farewell to you. When I finally let go, or at least thought I had. Marla wasn't really me, but I put some of my lessons and dreams in that book. It was my therapy. It was a private thing, but then my agent, Leslie, found it on my laptop one night, and she wouldn't let it go. The day I laid the hard copy of the draft in her hands, I felt I could take the first step away from you. I met Robert several years later, and we dated seriously for a time. I was unfair to him, unwilling to allow him to meet my family. I was afraid that they'd get hurt." She looked down, but it wasn't a look of slyness. When she finally met my stunned gaze, she continued. "I could have married him and been very happy. He is a good man, and any woman would be lucky to have him at their side. He helped me realize something today when we met. I don't want to go about this thing between you and I, unless we do it right. It would be unfair for me to hold back, out of fear, like I did with him."

I was stunned by her admission about him, but she was here with me, so I was going to chose not to focus on it. But the real thing that astonished me was what I held in my hands. "The book…"

"I wrote it, but I was unwilling to allow anyone to know that it was me. It was just too personal. It was dear to me, and as long as no one knew…other than my agent and the CEO…I was fine with sharing it with the world. I never dreamed it would become so popular. But when I was asked to step up, I couldn't. It would mean that you'd know, and I couldn't face the reality that you would be aware of my continued affections."

"I…nothing on Earth would've kept me away! _The Swan Song…_I was such a fool. How couldn't I have seen it…recognized it?" The shock was too much! My heart ached, and it wasn't from the injury. "I…" My hands went to my hair, tugging at it.

"But Edward…" she moved to capture my eyes again "…you did. Remember, I saw your copy. And you just admitted that it changed you. Edward…I let you go then. Don't you think it's surreal that it was when you 'woke up?' I'm not attempting to be dramatic, but it seems almost as if my hold held you back. I had to let go, so that you could find yourself again. Even then, we were bound."

I nodded, unable to really say anything. I had started getting better after reading the book, even though it had taken me years to get to the point of seeking out Elizabeth. But Bella's gift…it was unbelievable. Knowing what I did now, the book was what I'd always desired…a glimpse into her mind. "Would you feel comfortable reading it together, chapter by chapter?" I asked, wanting to know exactly what her motivations had been at each step of the way. It was an incredible intimacy I was asking.

I wanted to kiss her when she nodded. Of course, she was a little more rational than I was, and said, "But not until you are physically better." She looked nervous then. "Edward, I'm going to need to go home some, to get space. This thing between us is so strong that I will need to get perspective at times. I refuse to allow us to make decisions based solely on emotions and…um…lust. Its kinda what got us into this whole mess in the first place. I would hope that we could say that we've learned from our mistakes, and we do have some important and hurtful things to work through."

Like she'd made any mistakes, and although I would love nothing more than have her remain with me, I wouldn't force it because she was right. "You and Carlie need some time as well. I'm sure you haven't been away from her this much before…" her nod confirmed that "…and it is important that she and you get back to some sense of normalcy."

"We're coming to Esme's and Carlisle's house first; she and I agreed on it."

Her words thrilled me, but I was doing my best not to be selfish. I'd done that enough. "Bella, I don't…"

"Edward, I'm doing this for me as much as I'm doing it for you. So it's not all about you. Your mother and I…Alice…I need time with them as well. Our time at the hospital has kept me from working out my relationships with them. Now, I can use the time to help you, as we agreed upon, and spend some time with them as well."

"Are you sure?" I wasn't about to scare her off, but I was amazed at what she had planned.

"Yeah. I'm ready to do this, Edward."

"Your Swan Song…the beginning or the end?" I asked, wanting to know the answer to one of the questions that'd plagued me for years.

Her grin was marvelous. "Let music sound while she doth make her choice."

Shakespeare! She was quoting Shakespeare to me, or at least a version of it. Twin rushes of desire and happiness rushed over me. "What did thy song bode, lady? Hark, canst thou hear me? I will play the swan," I replied cheekily.

"Definitely a beginning." She grinned, her eyes full of mischief. "Definitely a beginning."

~SOMP~

My parents' house had never looked so inviting. I'd been anticipating it from the moment I'd heard Felix's words.

"In my opinion, you're free to leave, Dr. Cullen." Then he'd added, "As long as you follow the physical terrorist's plans for you."

I'd smirked at him, attempting to act as if it was funny. Doctor humor…blah… What I really needed surrounded me in my mother's SUV. My dad drove, me riding shotgun so that I could stretch out, and mom, Bella, and Carlie in back.

Telling Samantha that I was leaving had been the only negative thing about the day. Her tiny features had twisted in fear and desolation, figuring that I was breaking my word to her. She wasn't ready yet to leave the intensive medical care, but it wouldn't be long.

"Samantha, we're going to take care of you. I promise!" I'd stated simply.

It was one of the things that I needed to speak with my parents about. Although my desire was pure, it would seem that the system didn't always understand, or take into consideration, the heart.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Cullen. She'll have to go into foster care while we continue to search for any relatives. The agency is following other leads, so we can't consider the possibility of just placing her into your guardianship." An embarrassed look. "And in your condition, I'm not certain that we would be able to argue the efficacy of such a recommendation to the judge."

Glancing sideways to see my father, I knew there were other ways to address the situation. The fact that he and my mother had stayed involved with the local social services agency and continued their foster care training was a blessing. But I wondered if I would be asking too much for them to care for me and take on the little one at the same time. I wouldn't know until I asked.

Turning, I saw that Bella had rested her head back against the seat, and my mother was looking at her in a concerned manner. When she caught my perusal, she pointed to her temples and made massaging motions there.

Headaches… Bella was having headaches, and she hadn't been telling us. My mother had picked up on it immediately.

I wanted to growl, realizing that my mother's diagnostic skills would seem to far surpass my father's and mine. I was going to have to make her rest. If Bella wasn't skittish, I'd ask Rosalie to give her a back rub. I wouldn't mind, but it was probably best for me not to lay my hands on Bella right now. I'd remind my father to check her as well, knowing he could do so at a time that wouldn't bring attention to her…as most likely would be her wish.

"I bet Alice has gone all out," my mother said, continuing on the conversation between she and Carlie.

"Lunch sounds good. As long as 'all out' includes that, I'm happy," Carlie said, just as my father brought the SUV into the garage and turned it off. The sound of the garage door opening had roused Bella, and our daughter looked over to see that her mother was struggling. "I'm thinking a nap after lunch, because I'm tired. Daddy?"

I didn't have to make up an excuse to get Bella to rest. Just moving to the Mercedes from the wheelchair had just about done me in. I was looking at the door from the garage to the house and thinking how far away it seemed. The journey from there to my parent's old bedroom seemed insurmountable. I didn't know if I'd even make it through lunch. "Yeah, a nap sounds good."

Bella's eyes popped open in suspicion, but my very real yawn appeased her. Her eyes snapped to Carlie assessing her status, and I wasn't surprise to learn that my daughter was a pretty good actress. The award-winning yawn she pulled off drew another one from deep inside me. Luckily, just as our act would've become even more suspicious, the door to the house opened and a pack of children spilled out into the garage distracting us. The wild ones come to greet us.

"UNCLE EDWARD!" echoed through the garage, and I saw Bella wince slightly.

I made myself promise that I would get her to rest as quickly as possible, so Alice's grinning face was a welcome sight because I knew she would help me in my plan. But as good as my plans were, fate intervened, and it was Bella, instead, that noticed me dozing off during lunch.

"Edward, would you like to go lay down?" she asked gently, and the chaos around her stopped as everyone watched us interacting.

"I think I might be at that point," I admitted bashfully, still disturbed by my weakness.

I watched Emmett grin broadly in anticipation. So, I wasn't surprised when he took the moment to harass me. "C'mon Bubba. Jasper and I will tuck you in."

He literally almost lifted me off the floor, Jasper joining to my other side. They carried me to our parents' old room. "Mom did a good job setting up your lair of seduction," Em murmured softly, so that Bella couldn't hear. His arm was wrapped under mine supporting me, or I would've shoved him. Jasper hummed in agreement.

But when I saw what they meant, I was stunned silent…being literally tongue-tied. The bank of windows looked out toward the sound, and I could see boats in the distance. Placed against one of the walls was a king-sized sleigh bed, piled high with soft blankets and pillows. A bedside table held a lamp, phone, and…shit…the picture of Bella and me. The rich curtains had been pulled to the sides to let the light in, but if they'd been released, it would've created a feeling of being separated from the world. It was bad enough that the room was already secluded, being on the opposite side of the house than my parents'. But if that wasn't enough to make me groan, the door to the other side, leading into my mother's old sitting room, was open. I saw the bed there and knew the implications.

What the hell was my mom thinking!

What the hell, indeed. I would burn just knowing that Bella was in a bed so close to me. To give us such splendor and enticement, so far away from hearing ears! I didn't know whether to weep or kiss her.

I'd left the hospital in a pair of pajama pants and t-shirt, so when Emmett and Jasper lowered me to the soft bed, I quickly worked the pants off, crawling under the covers in my boxers and the t-shirt. I didn't think I was going to make it long before I was dreaming.

"Em…Bella needs to rest," I said quickly, before the darkness drew me under.

"Don't worry Bubba, I've got it covered."

"Em!" I growled at the mischievousness I heard. "I'm not in control of myself around her. Don't do anything stupid."

His strangled bark caused me to open my eyes, and I saw the tears gathering there. "Good!" he said adamantly. "It's about time you got back to being my insecure little brother. Good girl," he muttered, obviously praising Bella, and he nudged Jasper's shoulder with his.

My brother-in-law winked at me in conspiracy.

I scowled at Emmett, but finally admitted in a very tired voice. "Trying to do it right this time. Separate beds, Emmett."

He caved, but I could see the warmth in his smile. "'Kay. Very nice." He actually patted my shoulder. "Edward?" I forced my eyes open, which was quite a feat. "I'm so glad you're back," he said softly.

Stupid lug. He was always throwing me for a loop with his sensitive side. I think I managed to reach up to grasp his hand and squeeze it before I fell asleep.

~SOMP~

Heaven existed in my arms. I could feel her pressed to me, the warmth of her body molding to mine. The rise and fall of her breaths caused her to brush against me tantalizingly.

My Swan…

Her smell was distinctive, like nothing else in this world. I wondered how she would sing when we were joined, when no space existed between us and I was deep within her. When our passion would carry us to heaven where we would cease to exist as two and unite as one. I hardened painfully when she pressed to me, cradling my erection with softness.

Oh God…

The taste of her skin drove me crazy, the thrum of the artery in her neck beating frantically against my lips and tongue. I moved to pull her even closer, but the action caused a flash of pain to tear across me, the pants of deep breaths made my lungs burn.

Wait…

I woke up to find that I was crouched over her, worrying the skin at her neck.

SHIT! Bella was in bed with me. "Yes she is!" A part of me screamed in happiness, welcoming home "his" Bella.

Looking down upon her face I grinned even thought I shouldn't. Emmett! I was going to kill him. I'd told him not to do this; I'd thought he'd understood how precarious my restraint was.

Taking deep breaths, I'd just about gotten myself under control when she woke as well, her brown eyes gleaming in pleasure as she reached up to me, lacing her fingers through my hair and pulling me down to kiss. Our combined moans, as my body covered hers, filtered through the room, filling every corner.

Heaven indeed...

And then reality smacked us upside the head, and we tore apart from each other coming to rest at the opposite sides of the bed. My chest was throbbing, but the quick kiss and the feel of her beneath me had been worth it.

"I'm sorry," she gasped out. "I couldn't sleep. I tried…I really did, but even as comfortable as that bed is…I just couldn't." She blushed, and it did unholy things to my body. "I came to check on you…and it just looked so comfortable…" she left off.

And then like a gentle rain, we both started laughing. Bella laid down flat on the bed, overwhelmed with it. Thank God for our humor, because it helped calm the very demanding part of me.

"Your mother planned this, didn't she?"

"Yes." What could I say? It was the truth.

"Esme, Esme, Esme… Your mother is a devious woman."

"You have no idea," I replied honestly, my voice gruff.

She grinned, but turned over pressing her nose into the covers. I couldn't help but stare at her butt.

"How long did we sleep?" she asked, yawning adorably before stretching in an enticing way.

I looked over to the clock to get my eyes off her. "Three hours." It was then that I saw the tray on the table beside the bed. My dad… I hoped that he would keep his mouth shut. He'd obviously seen us together in the bed. Hell…he'd tell my mom, because he couldn't keep a secret from her. But her I could handle. Just as long as Emmett didn't find out. We'd be so screwed if he did.

Softly moving toward her, I heard her gasp as I leaned over her to grab the tray. I couldn't help but smile at the small grunt of pleasure that escaped her lips when I leaned down to place a small kiss on her shoulder. Sitting back cross-legged just beside her, I pondered the choices I faced.

Sensing my stillness, Bella pushed up to sit as well. "Edward?" she asked softly.

"My father. He's letting me decided."

Seeing the pills on the tray, she immediately knew the significance.

"Bella. You and Carlie should go home. It's very likely that I'm not going to be a…nice person for a while."

She actually growled at me. "Edward. We spoke about slowing down some because we both need to gain perspective, but that was not meant to say that I wasn't one hundred percent committed to working on us. I meant what I said, and this…" she nodded to the tray "…is a big part of it."

Her brown eyes were soft and accepting, waiting to see if I was going to accept her offer. Barely looking down at the tray, I picked up the Tylenol with Codeine, leaving the heavier narcotic on the tray for my father to flush.

There was one good thing about my choice. I wouldn't be worrying about the raging lust much longer…soon I was going to be burning in the pits of hell as my body screamed for a fix. I would have panicked with fear but for the feeling of her small hand taking mine.

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><p><strong>If you've ever attempted to write a story, you would immediately understand what I say when I state, "WOULD LOVE TO KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS!" Each and every review I receive are like gifts to me. Even when all that they contain is a smiley face!<strong>

**AN: I know the story has been in a lull, as some have mentioned. I had to get him realistically out of the hospital before it could all move forward. For those of you interested in knowing…this is a HEA story. No Bella hasn't lost her backbone…but she is managing her love and need to work through it all. NO, Edward won't be perfect…but isn't that what we love about him. **

**Alice POV of the "homecoming" for reviews. She was third in the voting for requests, so I'm honoring my obligations. SMILE **


	45. Need

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I couldn't do this without you, as you well know!**

**I'm sorry the Alice POV for reviews was so late in coming out. A reader (who I will not name) turned me onto a great book series, and I've been reading (gasp). You know who you are! WINK! And yes, my Aro does remind me of Roarke.**

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

The sound of water running through the pipes in the wall woke me. It took me a moment to realize where I was. I'd sworn I wasn't going to get in the bed with Edward again, but unless he'd been able to lift me and carry me…a feat easy for him healthy but impossible with his injury…I'd come into the room under my own steam and crawled in with him. Turning on the soft mattress, I expected to see him sleeping peacefully beside me and jolted up when I instead saw that he was gone.

It was then I saw the light underneath the bathroom door.

I jumped out of bed though when I heard a muffled thump, and without thinking, I tore through the door into the bathroom. Edward was slumped against the glass of the tiled shower.

"EDWARD!"

My scream was too loud and reverberated throughout the room. The fact that he didn't respond worried me more. Terrified, I jerked the door open and felt the cold hit me. At my entrance, he attempted to move, but ended up curling into a fetal position, the ice cold water pouring down on him. Clad only in his soaked boxers, he groaned when I turned the water off.

Going to my knees beside him, I felt helpless.

"_Bella, he may not be able to handle your touch."_

Carlisle's words floated through my mind in warning, along with the other dire predictions of what he might go through – cramps, nausea, vomiting, muscle spasms, insomnia, and pain. But what worried me more was the possibility that his blood pressure and heart rate could increase. That could be deadly, and the concern had been more than apparent in Carlisle's face when he relayed that particular information.

"May I touch you?" I asked softly, seeing him shiver.

I took the soft moan as an affirmative and touched his shoulder. He was as cold as ice, and I gasped at it. He didn't cry out at my touch, though, so I had a little hope.

"You're freezing!"

"Burning up," he croaked out. "Needed cold." His teeth all but gnashed.

"And now?"

"Freezing! But couldn't get up to turn on the hot water…"

I lunged up, slipping on the wet tile and almost falling over onto him. Turning the showerhead away from us, I turned the water as hot as I could stand it, before moving it onto him. As he groaned in thanks, I carefully stepped out to get several large fluffy towels, placing them into the warming drawer. Carlisle and Esme had thought of everything in the masterpiece of a bathroom. Moving back into the glass enclosure, I sat down beside him and then pulled him as best as possible onto my lap.

The warmth surrounded us, my body cradling his. His shivering took many minutes to get under control, and I wondered at the supply of the water and how long it would last. He still felt like an ice cube. His cheek rested against my chest, and as his body calmed, I moved one of my hands to his hair, to smooth my fingers through it, like I'd done a multitude of times for Carlie when she was sick. I hummed the strands of a lullaby, softly, timidly almost. Edward had an exquisite voice, mine wasn't so much. But I could do a lullaby, soft, and low. It was almost as if I could feel him slump even farther into me seeking comfort.

"Didn't mean to wake you," he said shyly. I could tell that he was disgusted with himself.

"I heard a thump."

His body twisted against me, and I felt him shudder. "I fell." But his voice sounded strained.

"Can you get up? I have some towels warmed."

He leaned up, and even through my hazy vision, I saw the strain in his face. I stood first, and then helped him as he silently, but unsteadily, pushed up. I moved out from under his arm and beat him out of the enclosure, water dripping across the floor. When he made it out of the door, I had a stool pushed over from what was most likely Esme's old makeup mirror and several towels waiting, having thrown a heavy robe into warm. As quickly as possible, I had him wrapped in two toasty thick ones, another at his hair.

"God…feels so good," he mumbled. His chin almost rested on his chest in defeat as I worked the water from the copper mess.

Moving back to the bedroom while he soaked up the warmth, I grabbed my glasses and the pills that rested beside the bed. It was well past the time for his pain medication I realized. We'd spent the evening after our nap with Carlie and the family. She'd distracted Edward with her history assignment, which had started an argument between him and Jasper. I'd been amazed at Alice's husband…and his tenacity about getting certain facts correct. It'd ended in them going on line to see who remembered the details correctly. It'd been a tie.

Alice had laughed at Jasper's disgruntled face and then informed me that he'd always wanted to be a history professor "in his other life."

I tried hard to remember if Edward had taken his medication after dinner and before we'd gone to our respective beds, but I couldn't with any degree of certainty. As an afterthought, I grabbed a clean, dry pair of boxers from the drawer for him.

"Here," I said, handing him the dry shorts and robe and against every perverted instinct in me turned to keep from drooling.

"'kay," he said just a few breaths later.

Anal Annie…he'd attempted to fold the clothes, but he was too shaky. I saw him grimacing and moved to grab the glass from the sink, filling it with water. When I held out my hand with the pills in my palm, I thought he might refuse, but finally he moved to take them, drinking the water.

"I know it won't take away the shakes, but it'll help."

His laughter was small and choppy. It took him several moments to meet my eyes. His were tormented.

"Come to bed?" I blushed realizing just how that'd sounded.

His bark of laughter at least had me smiling. "Do you know how I've longed to hear that?"

I winked at him. "C'mon."

Moving to grab a warm blanket from the unit, I followed him. When he collapsed back onto the bed, I wrapped him in the material snugly, making him almost mummy-like. A quick trip to the room I was staying in provided dry clothes for me, and then returning back to the other side of the bed, I crawled in beside him, turning on my side to face him.

Through clenched teeth, he murmured, "I really didn't want to wake you."

"You and I came to an agreement; we have to be honest with each other. Okay, I can accept you didn't want to wake me, but why would you want to be alone?"

"I don't know…"

He'd been alone for so long. "Well stop."

"What are you doing here?" He tried to waggle his eyebrows at me, but it came off comical, not sexy. The twitching of the muscles in his face ruined it.

"Not sure, guess I couldn't sleep either." He continued to watch me. "If you get hot again, let me know, and we'll go to the shower together. I don't want you falling. Okay?"

"Bossy!" he teased in a soft voice.

"You know it."

It was the middle of the night, so the peace and quiet surrounded us. He watched me as he attempted to hide the effects of the withdrawal. Had Carlisle not warned me, I wouldn't have been able to catch the small signs, the twitches of his skin, the dilation of his pupils, the grimaces when the pain hit him.

"_It won't really get bad until about two days into it, Bella. I'm hoping, since we only gave him the medically necessary doses, that it'll be better than before. He's also older and wiser, more capable of it this time."_ He'd grinned bashfully like his son. _"He has more to fight for…"_

It made me think of something, and I rose again to get the copy of my book that I'd given him.

"Agony," I said softly, turning to the first chapter. His eyes widened in joyful expectation as I read the dedication for the chapter…taken from Gibbons' madrigal.

"The silver Swan, who living had no Note,

When Death approached, unlocked her silent throat.

Leaning her breast against the reedy shore,

thus sang her first and last, and sang no more:

Farewell, all joys! O Death, come close mine eyes!

More Geese than Swans no live, more Fools than Wise."

"The first chapter was really hard for me, to let out all that pain…to put it on paper where I had to look at it and acknowledge it." I brushed my fingers over the pages as if seeking guidance as to what to say. He stirred beside me, and I asked, "Are you hot?"

"Yes, a little." He moved the blanket to the bottom of the bed, never taking his eyes off me.

"I let Marla start out in her most anguished voice. My editor wanted me to change it. She argued that the first chapter either makes or breaks a book, and you have to do something to really intrigue the reader…to get them hooked. She thought that it was just too morose and that the average American wouldn't take the time to read far enough to understand. But I was determined. It was my story, and I couldn't care less whether or not anyone enjoyed it or not…as long as I did. Leslie finally caved when I told her that we could just recall the offer to the agency."

He smiled at me. "Sounds like you."

"I started the chapter one night when I was having a particularly hard time."

He was far too insightful, his eyes sharpening in perception. "When?"

"Christmas Eve."

His moan…I couldn't tell if it was from emotional or physical pain. But he moved his hand from where he'd been clutching the robe around him toward me. I couldn't help but reach for him as well, linking our fingers.

"I lost the bracelet, Bella," he sobbed. "I got high one day and took it into the woods where we'd gone that Christmas. I swear, it was like I could hear the damn bird chirping at me. I wanted to throw it at the remains of the nest, but somehow I just couldn't. I was haunted and attempting to find peace, and I just remember thinking I was leaving it there for you to come get it. I didn't deserve it."

I was shocked, having assumed that he would've thrown it away. He hadn't, lost it yes, but in a strange somewhat crazy attempt to made amends with me. It hurt, I couldn't deny, but in a weird way it did make me feel better knowing it hadn't been just "tossed."

His next words stunned me. "I went back for it when I cleaned up. But I couldn't find it."

I moved my other hand over to brush my fingers across the tight skin that stretched over his cheekbones. "It's…"

"It's not OK, Bella!" He gritted his teeth. "Don't try to excuse it. That bracelet meant the world to me...but that is just how fucked up I was then. I would give anything…"

"Edward. Look at me." When his green eyes finally opened again, I continued. "Stop."

He shuddered, and again I didn't know if it was pain or memory. "Okay, but you need to know it is what went through my mind as I read the chapter…when Marla had to let go of her ratty old leather jacket. It was her security blanket, her tie to her father. The bracelet was my last one to you."

We were both quiet for a few moments.

"Why did you have her lose the jacket?" he asked softly.

"To highlight the fact that most often the biggest sources of our losses are out of our control. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could stop those things around us from causing pain? But we can't. I couldn't, everything was out of my control."

"The loss of her father's jacket was her breaking point," he said, having realized the significance. I wasn't surprised.

"It forced her to start getting outside of herself…to face life."

He nodded softly and then twitched. "Will you read the first chapter to me?" he asked softly.

"Sure. I think I'll get Jake to bring me my Braille version. That way, in the future, I can do it in the dark for you if needed."

His eyes flashed with some undefined feeling. Ignoring him, I began and before I was a third of the way through, I looked over to find him sleeping soundly. The pain killers must have taken the edge off enough…

~SOMP~

"I need to go for a walk," Edward said in a strained voice, moving slowly, jerkily toward the door and pushing through it.

I wondered if he was strong enough, but Carlisle stepped in just as I started to move. "Let me get him, Bella," he murmured.

Edward's hair had been soaked with sweat, and he'd been jittery for the hours after lunch. Before I could stop her, Carlie chased after them. She'd been at her father's side since the morning, playing a multitude of piano pieces for him in hopes of providing a distraction. Jasper moved toward the door as well, and I realized that his calm manner would most likely be a good antidote for Edward. b

"Bella, you want to come help me?" Alice asked, holding out her hand to me. I wanted to stay and watch over him, but as I saw him pacing nervously at the edge of deck, I wondered if perhaps he might need a break from my prying eyes.

"Where we going?" I asked.

"Just up to Edward's rooms. I thought he might like some of his books to growl at."

"Good thought, Pip-Squeak. I'll help," Emmett offered.

"Wait! That leaves Esme and me with all the babies," Rose growled out in affront. It was totally unconvincing.

"As if that scares you, Babe." Emmett's eyes twinkled as he bussed her lips and left her in charge.

I heard Esme promising cookies as I followed after Emmett and Alice. My first reaction at Esme's and Carlisle's house had been overwhelming. It wasn't that the house was ostentatious, because it was the opposite of that. It was homey and warm and filled with what looked to be a million artifacts of their family life. The colors scheme favored light colors, but it was far from being sterile, broken up with pictures of smiling kids, framed artwork, and handmade oddities. It had been overwhelming because underneath all the wealth…which certainly was there in the quality of the construction and furniture…it smelled like it always had…home.

I was curious when we started up the stairs we'd passed coming in from the garage. But when the area came into my sight, I couldn't help but gasp. The immaculate, modern feel of Edward's penthouse might suit a part of his personality, but this seemed to just fit who I remembered. I could smell him here, the unique scent I associated with him.

"Bella, do you want to grab some clothes for him," Alice said in a soft voice, her eyes already glued to the bookcase in front of her. I wanted to grin at the wall full of ragged paperbacks and novels.

"Sure."

Moving to the door Emmett pointed to, I walked into the room. It was simply decorated, but warm with the blue bedspread and simple pictures. I approached a few on the wall over the headboard and grinned to see the authors had all signed in crayon. Alice's and Rose's babies.

Pulling open Edward's drawers, I found a stash of comfortable sweats and pajama bottoms. Further snooping turned up a drawer of socks and boxers. Just below it were well washed and worn, soft as butter, t-shirts. On a spur, I grabbed extras, thinking that they would feel much better than the one's Jake had brought me from home.

Knowing that we had a toothbrush and brush already, I didn't even wander into the bathroom. But as I turned to go, I saw the bedside table. The picture of Carlie and I was there…but it seemed ill-placed, as if there should be something beside it. The other one, from the bedroom below! I'd assumed that it had been a left over from Carlisle and Esme's time in there…something left behind. It was apparent that it'd been moved there from beside the newest one of us.

I knew then, that was the reason Alice had wanted me to come. It was for me to see that he'd had it there all along. I didn't say anything to her when I exited, grinning at the fact that Emmett had packed up the Wii. When he saw my look, he responded, "I'm taking off this week to help out…and if there is anything I know about Edward, it is that he hates to bow down to my mad skills. It'll drive him crazy and distract him at the same time." He grinned in anticipation.

I snorted at his humbleness.

When we returned, I wanted to scream when I saw Edward. He lay on the porch, Carlisle at his side, Carlie pacing frantically beside them. Jasper knelt at Edward's head.

"WHAT!" I went to lunge, but Emmett caught me, almost dropping the game console.

"BB. He's doing well, believe it or not. Don't go out there getting upset, or he'll be worried about you. It'll be too much for him."

"Doing well!" I snarled, thinking that the fact he lay like a discarded doll on a stained wooden deck didn't look so wonderful.

"Isabella…" Emmett's use of my full name earned my full attention. "It's going to get worse, I know, but at this point last time, he was already screaming. Make him go take a nap when Dad is able to get him in here. He'll do it if you lay down with him."

Esme moved beside me. I could sense that she was attempting to make some degree of contact, so I looked over to her. With tears in her eyes, she nodded. "Much better."

Watching his legs twitching, drawing in and out, as if he was attempting to find a position that was comfortable, I wondered how much worse it could get.

~SOMP~

Much worse, I realized as day two and the "bad" Carlisle had predicted hit. Edward remained almost frozen on the bed, shivers and sweats engulfing him. He'd vomited several times and attempted to keep me from helping to clean up. His groans of embarrassment were lost amid the ones of pain. Even my voice seemed to irritate his senses, so the best I could do was lay beside him, watching him sleep, falling asleep with him as well.

It was torturous, watching him writhe in pain and being unable to do anything about it. I wanted to scream at the unfairness and felt helpless in a way that was immensely uncomfortable. I couldn't imagine what Esme felt, to see her child this way.

Ironically, my headaches began to fade, and I was certain it had to do with the fact that I slept when Edward did, ate when he did, and was generally being pampered by the family. Carlie went to school during the day, but she breezed in like a breath of fresh air as soon as Jake could bring her. Upon seeing Edward's state the second day, he helped Emmett get Edward into the shower before kissing my and Carlie's forehead in farewell.

Edward's nightmares, when he did sleep, haunted me as well as him. In many of them, he called out to me and Carlie, begging us not to leave him. It was hard not to promise it wouldn't ever happen. I couldn't imagine being without him, but I also couldn't just make that promise. It would cheapen the declaration just to make it now in order to fix Edward's immediate fear. It would be immensely unfair to do that, rather than to allow us to find our way when he was ready.

I startled awake the third day when a second sense told me that someone was watching us. Carlisle sat next to Edward, his hand at his son's wrist checking his pulse. Catching my sleepy look, he answered the unspoken question.

"I'm worried about his blood pressure. He's weakened from the surgery."

Something seemed to be off in his look, and it was then that I saw a bottle in his hands. For the briefest of moments, a sense of panic took over. The thought "had Edward snuck more medication" ran through me. I discounted it almost immediately, a little ashamed that I would ever question.

Carlisle shook the bottle softly, letting the sound of the pills knocking against each other to filter through the room. "He's been sneaking Extra-Strength Tylenol. I would lay my Mercedes down on the line that he hasn't been taking the ones with Codeine. While I admire his tenacity, I need him to actually work with me so that we can protect his health."

I wanted to growl at the still sleeping man between us. He was so determined to get off the meds, that I could see him speeding the process up without Carlisle knowing.

"Not at night," I offered up, thinking that he'd been sleeping at least some.

"You're probably right. He's probably taking the stuff with Codeine then. I'm betting the rest have been going down the toilet."

I couldn't answer. Edward always took the meds when I wasn't paying particular attention. It was that realization that made me support Carlisle's interpretation.

We would have continued the conversation, but Edward's trembling began almost like a light switch had been turned on. Dashing to the bathroom, I brought back a glass of water for Carlisle and then went to dress.

"Damn it, Edward! You have to work with me, not go out on your own. Is it worth losing everything for?" Carlisle rebuked as I walked back into the room.

Edward's eyes jerked to me and then back down in embarrassment, seeing that I was displeased as well. His hair stood up in tuffs from where he'd been asleep. It would have made him appealing if I didn't know that he'd gone out on a limb about something so important.

"I'll begin lowering the dosage immediately, considering you've been going for hours without, but you can't go cold-turkey like this. You know better."

Carlisle was impressive in his fury. I couldn't ever remember seeing him in quite this manner. Even as a grown man, I saw Edward cave to the parental and medical authority present.

"Dad…I…"

"Shut it!" Carlisle barked, holding out the pill he had in his hand. He handed Edward the water and the waited patiently. When Carlisle raised his eyebrow, Edward's eyes rolled and he opened his mouth and raised his tongue so that Carlisle could check to see that he'd done what he was supposed to.

With a huff, Carlisle rose, but he squeezed Edward's shoulder in a sign of love before leaving us. A deep red color spread across his cheekbones when Edward saw that I still observed him from across the room.

"You are so stubborn," I noted.

"I know, and I'm sorry. It's just important to me to get clean, so that I can begin anew with you and Carlie. I was monitoring my own symptoms, but again, that is my ego. I can't believe my dad figured out I'd taken the Tylenol…" He smirked in a little boy manner.

"It's a second sense…" I told him "…a parent knowing when something just isn't right. You'll learn, as you spend more time around Carlie."

"I hope so." He grinned at me, but I could see that he was attempting to gauge whether or not I was still mad.

"How long do you think that pill will help?" I asked of the medicine he'd just taken.

"If I'm lucky, until lunch. Why?"

"I was thinking…that if you felt you could make it, that we could go down to the sitting area your parents have down by the water and have breakfast. We could take some blankets, because it is supposed to be fairly windy. The stairs could be your PT for the day." My tone was hopeful, because it was such a lofty request.

"Of course!" he promised, determined to do just what I requested. And even under the strain he must have felt, we did just that.

That night, his begging began again, but this time he was fully awake and asking Carlie and I to leave. He turned from beside me and state in a very serious manner, "I feel like I'm going to lose control around you. I'm snarky, but Emmett can handle me. Please, Bella, Carlie, go…"

Carlie looked over to me with the eyes so similar to her father's it was scary and shook her head. I thought Edward would cry when he saw her look. Then the thought hit me that maybe we were being disrespectful with our insistence.

Ignoring the attention from those around us, I gathered his face into my hands, holding him, and feeling the fine jerks racing through him. "Edward, do you really want us to leave, or is that fear talking?" He tried to focus on me, but I could see the struggle. "Because if you really don't want us here, we'll go."

"Want you!" he forced out. "Just afraid…I can be an…as…butt." He'd changed his language after looking to Carlie and the other kids.

"Daddy, its okay. My other Daddy can be a butt too, and that is on a good day," she giggled out, and ruffled his hair from where he sat between us watching a movie. "I'm going to get some more popcorn," she announced.

"Get me some too, Carlie!" Emmett shouted out from across the room, causing Rose to goose him at the noise. It was entertaining to watch the family, all of them leaning against their partners…the kids lying on blankets on the floor.

I woke the next morning extremely relaxed, headache free, and wrapped in Edward's arms. Sometime during the night, one of us had pushed the pillows aside that we'd used to give us some space, and I'd wrapped my arm around him, my head on his chest. It was exquisitely wonderful to feel him beside me. There was, of course, a sense of lust, but more so, it just felt good to touch him. I realized within just a few moments that he wasn't shaking and seemed to be resting deeply. The sound of his calm breaths made me happy. It was poetic that I would be able to recognize when he woke and when he realized I was beside him just by the increase in his heartbeat.

"Bella," he said hoarsely.

"Good Morning," I replied, remaining very still. It was nice to just be here…not fighting the unbelievable attraction between us…just touching. "You aren't shaking." It was a simple statement, but I could feel as he actually tested himself…a slight twitch of muscles here and there.

"I'm not," he murmured in a happy tone. "It'll most likely be back, but hopefully not as bad." His chuckle shook against my cheek, the feel of his skin smooth against mine. "Can we stay like this for awhile?" he asked quickly.

"Mm…Hmmm."

~SOMP~

"Thanks for bringing me back, Jake. I could've called a cab."

"Nah… I'm missing you, but I understand why you've got to be here. Is he doing better?" His question was sincere.

"Yes. He still has some on and off moments, but we're down to day five. By the way, Carlie's teacher was very complementary of you. Maybe I should tell Leah to watch out for her," I said, my eyes sliding over to where he drove.

He started coughing, his eyes bugging out. "Mrs. Ferguson! The woman is old enough…" Then he stopped and started laughing. "Too funny, Bella. Too funny. What did she want, by the way?"

"To talk to me about Carlie. She was a little concerned about some of the distraction she'd noticed. Woman had no clue what was going on. As soon as I explained, she started sputtering. She's actually a good one though and was quick to tell me that she didn't follow the gossip rags…so she didn't know."

"She doesn't spend much time in the staff break room either. It's well known now who Carlie's father is."

"Well, either way, I was actually happy that the woman pays so much attention to her students. Not much of that left anymore is there?"

"I'd agree with you, but I know everyone of my students and with the football players, I know most of their grandparents. I push them too hard not to know them that well…'gotta know when I'm pushing too hard."

"Nah…you're just a good guy, that's all."

Jake snorted at my assessment as he pulled behind the house so that I could enter through the back door. Carlisle had dropped me off at the school, having left to go to the hospital for a meeting he couldn't postpone or avoid.

"Bella, I gotta have some BS time soon. Leah and I are missing you. I respect that you're here for him, but I'm just warning you that I'm going to start whining." His grin belied the seriousness of his words.

"I'm feeling some better about leaving, the last few days have been…better." Nice or average wouldn't be the word I would have used, because Edward was still somewhat shaky. "Dinner, I could cook? Saturday?"

"Hm…I tell you what…let's go out, and if Redhead is feeling up to it, bring him along. We'll double-date," he snickered.

"Jake, are you…"

"I'm sure. I'm going to have to share you, I know. You and I'll get some me/you time later. I'm just starting to go through DTs from you, so he's going to have to share." He leaned over and kissed my forehead quickly before shooing me out. "Saturday! Leah and I'll pick you up around 6."

"'kay!" I called out and then grinned when he backed up and started back out the drive.

I heard the crashing noise as soon as I entered the door and began running. Esme had slid down the wall of the kitchen and sat back on her feet, great tears sliding down her face. When I went to run around her, she reached out to stop me.

"Don't," she begged. The discordant notes rumbled through the house, but it was then that I realized they had harmony.

I didn't think I'd heard it before, but I was certain it was some great master. There were a few off notes and what I suspected were missteps in timing, but the person playing was doing so with great emotion, strife, pain, and some degree of finesse. It was then that I realized who…Edward.

Esme continued to sob softly, rocking as she listened and held my hand in a iron grip. "I haven't heard him play in over 15 years. I know I'm being selfish…letting it go on…he needs you I know, but I just want to enjoy it for just a few more moments." Her words were choppy and filled with emotion.

15 years? No…

"Bella…" she whispered, capturing my attention. "I will never be able to repay you. Never."

Esme probably could've attempted to explain in words and apologize for what happened between us a million times and never be able to really say it in the right way or be contrite enough, but as I watched the joy stream out of her…at the fact she was hearing Edward play piano…the mother in me understood. As mothers, we did what we thought was right for our children…fiercely protecting them. She'd been caretaking me since the day at the hospital when she brought sandwiches and soup, and she would continue to do so for as long as I would allow her. It was my choice I knew, whether or not I accepted Esme's form of apology. Seeing the copious amount of tears flowing down her face, I didn't know how I couldn't. When the next piece started, and the execution got a little better, the tone a little softer, she began to rock softly and released my hand.

"Go," she mouthed, telling me to find him. And so I did.

~SOMP~

Bent over the keys, the light from the window brought his hair alive, highlights of red and gold glinting richly. The song he was playing was soft and slow, but he seemed to be focusing intently. I was no music connoisseur, but even I was aware that he was pouring his agony, hurt, and confusion into the music. Memories poured through me of a young, thinner boy dissecting the ivories. I'd always wondered if glaring at the piano made the magic appear…for certainly that is what occurred when I'd witnessed the struggle between this particular artist and the instrument in the past. Knowing that Esme was still crouched and crying like a baby mere feet away, I leaned against the entrance and just enjoyed.

It didn't take long for him to realize I was there, I saw it in the slight grin that appeared.

"It's beautiful," I said softly when he brought the enchantment to an end.

"Something that has been haunting me for awhile." He seemed embarrassed. "I'm really rusty."

"Fifteen years rusty if my snitch told me the truth."

His eyes jerked to the rest of the house, realizing that his mother must be listening. "I've been unfair."

"Yes, you have." I wasn't going to make it nice for him.

"I just couldn't touch it, not without you with me."

"Okay, so play now. I'm not the only one who enjoys it."

"Join me," he patted the bench beside him.

I heard the door opening and the unmistakable lilt of our daughter's voice.

"Tell you what. I'm going to sit over there," I pointed to a chaise longue just beside the piano. "I believe you might have someone who can better take my place…at least there. She can also do something beautiful with that." I grinned, nodding to the piano.

The look that passed between us was pure magic, but I willingly abdicated my space beside Edward at the piano when Carlie came into the room, an inquisitive look on her face.

"Daddy?" she gasped out, seeing him there.

Whether his hands shook from the withdrawals or whether they shook from his emotions, I couldn't discern. Playfully, Carlie began picking out Chopsticks, and he chuckled before adding in a complicated countermelody. However, I knew that mine shook from pure happiness, and when a puffy eyed Esme joined me on the couch just a few minutes later, I welcomed her hand holding mine.

~SOMP~

I walked into my room after staying with Carlie until she fell asleep. Rose had agreed to get her to school on time the next morning, so she was sleeping soundly in Edward's suite above the garage. The smell caught my attention immediately, and I turned to see the roses artfully arranged in a crystal vase. A riot of colors, they crowded together, happily competing as to whom was the brightest.

Edward…

He'd asked Jasper to walk with him after dinner, and I'd almost fussed. Like he'd done with attempting to come pretty much cold turkey off the medication, he was pushing himself physically as well. But Carlisle didn't step in, and I'd asked why when they exited the house.

"_The more physical exertion he can stand, the better. It'll help get him recover quicker. I'm monitoring him, and honestly he will abide by that type of physical therapy better than what he'll get in a sterile environment." _He'd seen my concern. _"I promise, Bella. I won't let him go too far."_

So Edward had obviously used his therapy to bring me roses from Esme's prolific garden.

"Do you like them?" His velvet voice came from the doorway, and I spun to see him leaning against the wood frame.

"They're beautiful. Thank you." He straightened up and then moved into the room. His movement was slow…careful. He was tired, I realized.

"I'll wait if you would like the bathroom first," he offered.

"No, go ahead. I was about to get dressed and get in bed. I'll brush my teeth after you're through. As I moved toward the room that Esme had set up for me, his words stopped me.

"Bella, would you consider just starting the night in bed with me, instead of getting up to do so. You need your rest, and it just seems ludicrous that we continue attempting to start out the night alone. Personally, I'm all for being near you as much as possible. You'll be going home soon, and I'm just kinda selfish that way."

I turned and gave him a sly grin. "Edward Cullen, are you propositioning me?"

"God, what I wouldn't give for the energy or the capacity to take advantage of you," he chuckled. "I'll just be happy to just stay awake long enough to enjoy your presence for a few moments."

I jerked my head to the shower, and while he took a quick one, I changed and then ran him out of the room to brush my teeth and clean my face. Without hesitancy, I crawled into the bed beside him and directly into his waiting arms.

"One kiss," I begged.

He froze.

"Bella, I…I…"

"Just one."

His hands went to the headboard, as if he was hanging on for dear life. "You have to kiss me, because there is no way I'm touching you during it."

I grinned at the fact that he felt so unsure of his control, but I was greedy enough to lean up and softly press our lips together. The passion was immediate, but it was tempered by the fact that the kiss remained worshipful, slow, and gentle. Brushing back and forth, I felt as if I was pouring my soul into his, trying to fill him with what I felt.

Only when I pulled back did he finally gasp. "Love you," he said harshly.

"I love you too, Edward."

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><p><strong>As always, I would love to know what you think. I know that I didn't make the withdrawals as bad as they could be, but you'll see some hiccups in the future. Also, for those of you who want Bella not to forgive him...now is a good time to quit reading. The story will be heading toward the re-establishment of their relationship now...and I did rate it M for that reason.<strong>

**I'm bowing out on an outtake this week - although I'm already writing the next one. It is a combined Carlisle/Esme one. I have a big project at work, and I just can't realistically promise it! :)**


	46. Prison and Jail Birds

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness.**

**FYI, I know that my story has engendered a wide range of emotions in readers. I am well aware that there is controversy attached, but please understand, I appreciate each and every side of it. It is my fondest hope, that everyone feels free to express their opinion without fear of reprisal. I also hope by the end of my tale, I'll have met everyone's needs. SMILE**

**Thanks to AllyVera for nominating Sins of My Past over on the Twilight Eclipse Awards for best Original Character – Carlie. Voting has started, and if you are enjoying the story, I would appreciate a vote. **

**twilighteclipseawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

The next morning was a rare treat in soft sunshine. Over the tumble of Bella's vibrant brown hair, I watched out the window to see a male and female cardinal dancing around one of my mother's birdfeeders. Mates most likely. The sun glinted off the vibrant red of the male as he postured for her, attempting to display his charms. The subdued brown and tan colors of the female would initially cause an observer to discount her, to focus on her more vibrant counterpart, but that would be a mistake. The muted colors only led the female to be more mysterious, to blend in better, but upon closer inspection an observer would see the fiery tinge of her feathers and beak. She was not without a plethora of beautiful qualities. Didn't it speak that the male felt the need to convince the female of his worth…it wasn't the subtly beautiful female flitting around like an idiot, fluffing her feathers.

The fragile beauty of the birds that entertained me made me consider the similar nature of the exquisite creature cradled in my arms. I could feel the stirring of her breath across my arm, where she used it as a cushion. The tenacity of her spirit made it easy to forget at times just how tiny she was, how delicate. She'd curled into me, as if to seek warmth, molding her body to mine. Waking up had been tricky. I was a man desperately in love and attracted to the woman beside me. It was the morning, and my body was a traitor. To hide its defection, I'd managed to sneak a pillow between us. But I wasn't desperate enough to let her go.

My time was running short, and she would be going home. She needed to go home, so that we could finish the work between us. I needed to hear from her…how it'd felt when I'd done what I'd done. I needed to hear about what happened afterward, how it'd felt to be pregnant and alone. I needed to hear how it'd felt to raise a child, our child, without having someone to share the sorrows. I knew that Jacob had helped, but I was fairly certain that it didn't make up for having me there to share the responsibilities, the tears, and the troubles. She would need time away from me, I was guessing, and although I didn't want a moment's separation between us, I was wise enough to know that I was in for a world of hurt. How could I not be?

But what made it all worthwhile was the possibility that in the end, we'd do what we were determined to do…forge a new us. It was the hope that sometime in the future waking up with her, just like this morning, would be permanent, and that I wouldn't have to temper the passion.

So for now, it was enough to lay here with her in my arms, while the gentle sun rose over the Sound and the birds played outside.

Rose was taking Carlie to school, so we didn't have to move…at least not for now. My dad had said he had an early appointment and would hopefully be back before lunchtime, so other than my mom, it would be quiet. While Bella got the sleep she desperately needed, I was going to vicariously soak up what I needed…which was her.

God was gracious. For the next hour, I felt her breathe beside me, the warmth of it brushing over my arm. When she did stir slightly here and there, soft puffs of strawberry scent tantalized me. Several times I heard her mumble lowly, but the words were unintelligible. I was pretty certain that this was the closest I'd been to heaven. So when her stirring signaled that she was coming awake, I didn't know whether to be happy or sad. Turning slowly around, her nose tucked into the curve of my neck; it was both heaven and hell when she breathed deeply.

"Mmm…good morning," she mumbled.

"Morning."

Friday. Day six. I'd had a few shakes, but that would continue on for awhile. I wouldn't be clear for…well forever.

"Hey, I forgot to ask you last night. Jake wants us to go out on a double date with him and Leah tomorrow night." She pulled back so that she could see my face. "Dinner, and I'm sure that he'll want to do something afterward. Do you think you'd be up to it?"

"Sure!" As if I'd refuse, but then I realized some of the parameters we had to operate within. "Can Jacob come pick us up? I won't be clear to drive for awhile still."

"Yeah; it'll be no problem." She grinned and I could tell that she was excited about the possibility.

I had to admit to a little sadness that our first official date wouldn't be under my own steam, but then I realized it was a wonderful start. Jacob and Leah's presence would provide a good buffer, and I knew their importance to Bella, so it was time to get to know them again.

Her fingers plucked at the pillow between us. Luckily, my time spent pondering had helped to take care of my baser needs.

"What are our plans today?" she asked.

"Oh, I don't know. A marathon?" The sound of her giggling made me smile. "Dad said that he would be back before noon, so I know he'll ask whether or not I've been up and moving. What do you say I cook you brunch?" I offered. We'd stayed in bed way past breakfast.

"Serious?" she squeaked.

"Yup. Let me get in the shower first, and while you take time getting ready, I'll throw something together."

She eyed me skeptically, but I saw the moment she caved by the twinkling of her eyes. Her whistle of appreciation, as I walked across the floor in my boxers, made me blush. She saw my reaction and made it even louder. One day… I promised myself, grabbing a new t-shirt and pajama bottoms.

While she showered, I hurried to the kitchen, half expecting to already find my mother there. Instead, I found a note that she'd accompanied my father. I wondered at it, but quickly scavenged through the refrigerator. I could go for something fancy, but I was actually hungry and didn't think I had the patience to do much. Pulling out eggs and some bacon, I just decided to go classic and simple. Placing the thick slabs of coronary death on a baking sheet, I hit the oven temperature to heat it up, and pulled a bowl out to whip up some eggs. Frothing up enough to make a large helping of scrambled eggs, I set it aside in order to really focus on what I wanted to do, French toast with fresh fruit. Another bowl of eggs whipped finely provided my dipping bowl. I grimaced seeing that my mother only had whole wheat bread, but I figured that it helped cancel out the eggs and bacon. Grabbing the cinnamon, nutmeg, and vanilla extract for the milk preparation, I was ready. The stove beeped letting me know it was ready, so I placed the bacon in, then turned to the fruit. Strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, and cantaloupe found their way into another bowl. Before starting to scramble the eggs, I put syrup on to warm and then got busy.

It was more difficult than I expected to do it right, because my hands shook and I had to take a couple of breaks to breathe deeply as my heart raced. But when Bella walked into the room, breakfast was almost there, the eggs and bacon in the warmer, the smell of the toast perfuming the air…covering up my one "mistake."

"Hey," she said gently, as I'd frozen at the sight of her. A pair of jeans, soft long sleeved t-shirt…she looked like she had when we were kids.

"Sit," I finally forced out, moving over to hold out a chair for her to slide into. "Apple or Orange juice?" I asked, knowing that she loved them both. I slid a cup of coffee before her while waiting on the answer.

"Orange, please. But Edward, I can…"

She stopped speaking when she saw my glare. "My treat Bella. This is just a quick breakfast. One day, hopefully I can do better."

Getting the orange juice, I put it before her with a bowl of fruit. As she nibbled on a strawberry delicately and in a way that distracted me, I pulled her warmed plate from the microwave, reaching around to place it before her.

It took a full ten seconds for her laughter to fill the room and for her to turn to me, great rivers of tears flowing down her face. "What?" I asked in my best insulted voice. My question caused her to snort and then slap at her knees.

Finally, she pulled her glasses off, picking up a napkin to wipe at her eyes. "Sad thing…I'm hungry enough to eat that pitiful excuse for a grilled cheese sandwich." It sent her into another fit of chuckles before she turned to me in a pleading manner. "Please tell me that is French toast I'm smelling."

"It is," I finally caved, earning her smile. Pushing the plate with the burnt grilled cheese to the side, I quickly loaded the table with the real stuff.

She breathed deeply and a look of pleasure spread across her face. "Ah…wonderful."

I chuckled, before reaching over to grab her hand. "Good food, good meat, good God, let's eat."

She swatted at me, but I dodged her attempt, laughing lightly. It was a Cullen standard…or at least an Emmett, Edward one. My mother often swatted us as well.

Then silence became the standard as we began eating, Bella putting away more food than anyone would've expected. It was comforting, a perfect interlude. But of course, Emmett would come to stir it up. Barging through the door, he grinned seeing us at the table. "Cool!" he grunted out, snatching the grilled cheese and taking a huge bite out of it while he grabbed several pieces of bacon.

Before she was through, Bella had to lay her head on the table, the ensuing laughter rendering her almost boneless.

"What?" Emmett said in an almost direct repetition of my earlier word.

"Stop!" she begged, grabbing her ribs as if she was attempting to hold herself together.

It was that chaos that our newest member walked into. My mother and father…they'd freed the jail-bird.

"HEY!" Samantha cried out in glee, attempting to hobble forward as fast as her crutches would allow, my mother directly on her footsteps, ready to grab her at the moment's notice.

Bella flew up from where she'd slumped on the table and met her. The chaos was only increased when my mom called Alice and Rose.

~SOMP~

"So, I'm going to get to live here?" she asked, her eyes as big as saucers as she looked around the living room. She was already in the middle of the pack, Ross to one side, Alistair to the other. Emmy had brought out a literal toy store of dolls and Barbies…already dividing up her spoils so that Samantha had a plethora of choices. She was currently clutching a large stuffed teddy bear to her chest.

"Yes, Mom and Dad are foster parents, and you've been placed with them by the social worker." I was attempting to be as revealing as possible in terms she'd understand.

"Forever?" she asked the difficult question.

"We're working on it," my father replied in his best comforting voice, and Samantha blinked rapidly under his spell. I wanted to roll my eyes at the thought that my father had conquered another woman with his charm.

"Where do you live?" she asked me, turning back to pin me with her stare.

"Here for now."

She looked at Carlie then and grinned, "So we'll be together!"

Carlie shuffled uncomfortable at the assumption, but then with a cheeky look she replied, "When Daddy gets his house built." She gave me a very Bella-like admonishing look then, as if it was a sin that I hadn't already gotten busy on building. It wasn't as if I'd been otherwise occupied the last couple of weeks. Apparently death's door wasn't a good enough excuse.

My half stare was as effective on her as it had ever been on Bella…which meant she rolled her eyes and then ignored me.

"I pulled everyone's most recent criminal backgrounds from our records to give to DSHS. Bella before they will allow you to be alone with her, or serve as a caretaker, they'll need you to complete a fingerprint check as well," Carlisle told the adults as we watched the kids across the room playing on the Wii. "They've placed her…due to your mother's influence…as foster to adopt here."

I could see the glint in Alice's eyes. As long as the baby was in the family, she would be spoiled rotten. Alice may have lost the skirmish…but the spoils of war were still the same…Samantha would be within her grasp.

"Mom? Dad?" Emmett breathed out in a whistle. "Big commitment, are you sure?" He wasn't questioning their motive or desire, just letting them know that there were other options, mainly one of us.

My dad's smile as my mom walked over with popcorn and juice boxes was gentle and content. "Yeah… Your mom is quite determined, and even if I wasn't already wholly on board for this, her happiness would make me so." The silence, when Samantha reached for a drink and then jerked back, spoke volumes. She was scared, as if she'd never been offered much and was afraid of being punished for assuming. Seeing what had occurred, Carlie leaned over grabbing two from the tray and a bowl for her, placing it against where a pillow propped Samantha's leg. The tears of adoration in the younger child's face almost undid us all. "She'll never feel that again as long as I have anything to do with it," my dad murmured and then began walking forward, his intentions clear.

Emmett threw his thick arm around Rosalie's shoulders, leaning down to put a quick kiss to the top of her head. Beside me, Jasper pulled Alice in, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her back firmly against him. Only Bella and I remained apart, but not for long. She stepped closer to me, reaching down to grab my hand, linking our fingers.

~SOMP~

"Out with you upon the wild waves, Children of the King!

Henceforth your cries shall be with the flocks of birds."

"Why did you have the drunk Irish man repeat parts of The Children of Lir to Marla?" I asked, having just repeated said man's prose. Struggling to get my shoes off, my words were garbled, and I wondered if she'd even heard me.

She poked her head out of the bathroom, the toothbrush stuck between her lips. "It was about family and love, loss and finding. Lir's children, they were fine as long as they were together, unbroken…supporting each other. When they were separated, well most of the legends stated that they died."

Disappearing into the bathroom for a second, she came back out, a tank top and soft pajama bottoms on. She'd pulled her hair back into a ponytail, so the arch of her graceful neck made me think of a swan.

"We did, when I cut you off from us," I admitted, having put my hands between my knees.

Sitting beside me, she caught my gaze. "I didn't know; it wasn't about you, I promise. It was about what family really is…who makes one up and what you'll do for them. Marla needed to learn that lesson. I needed to. I had Jake and Leah, but I had to learn to open up, to let myself out of the proverbial prison. I'd met Marcus the day I hawked my first children's book to the independent publisher. Soon, I met Aro and the others…and I was literally overwhelmed, having never been a part of such a large family. I had to learn to trust again, and Aro battered at my defenses until I gave in. Being cared for like that was foreign to me…I had to take that risk and trust that it would be okay."

"Like you're taking the ultimate risk to trust us again?" I said what she wasn't going to.

"Yes," she stated simply.

"Tell me what you felt the day you went to see Alice, as you were leaving. You never tried to reach us again." She hesitated, so I begged. "Bella, please. It's poison; one I concocted and injected you with. We have to excise it, or it'll slowly destroy us."

Taking a deep breath, she attempted to explain. "Hollow…I think that was the best word to describe it at first. I went to the doctor to make sure the baby was okay, because I'd tripped down the stairs at your house, but once I knew everything was alright, it was the shock that set in. I didn't really feel much until that wore off and then it was just agony…at the loss of you and your family, and for the fact that you'd faked your emotions toward me so well. It made me feel…insignificant." She rubbed her hands against her legs in a nervous fashion. "You know today, when Samantha started to reach for that juice box and then pulled her hand back so quickly…it was the same for me…like you were this beautiful thing just out of my reach. Unobtainable. It felt like I'd received the harshest form of chastisement for the thought I had the right to you."

She stopped talking and looked up at me. I was certain my face was pale at the onslaught of emotions beating at me…most predominantly disgust at myself and sorrow. There were no words to give her; I just needed to hear her version of those days.

"The hurt started within a few days. I don't know…but I've often wondered if I wouldn't have done something stupid if I hadn't been pregnant."

The bark of distress that tore out of me was immense. I wanted to reach for her, but I was immensely grateful she didn't reach for me, because I needed Bella to get it out. She needed the space to be mad if necessary.

"Charlie refused to allow me to sink under the weight, so between him and Jake, I was forced to live."

"Bella, where did you go? You never went back to school after that day?" She'd disappeared.

"Well, I just stayed home with Charlie for several months, until we could find a place for me to go. It was one of those facilities for unwed teenage mothers. They do a lot of adoptive work, but for those few like me that wanted to keep their babies, they helped us learn how to take care of ourselves. I fell at the hospital. I'd gone to have an ultrasound, as the free clinic was there. It was my fault again. I was so excited to get back to the home to call Charlie and Jake that I wasn't paying attention. They'd finally been able to determine that the baby was a girl, and I knew that they were going to be excited. Leah and I were talking, and I didn't watch where I was walking. I woke up in the hospital two days later to find out that everything had irrevocably changed again."

I didn't know how to really ask, so I just blurted it out. "Bella, what did you think or feel when you were told you were blind?" She turned to me sharply, and I was unable to drag my eyes from hers. What would it have been like? How did it feel all those years? "I can't even begin to imagine?" I admitted.

She blew her breath out, before looking down at where her hands were clenched tightly. "I didn't believe it at first. I thought they were just being dramatic and that as soon as the swelling went down, I'd be fine. I refused to accept it, but it hit me when Jacob had to describe what Carlie looked like." Her voice sobbed and the sound sent me reeling. I wanted to destroy something, but it would've been me for putting her into the situation in the first place.

"And that was when you found out about Charlie." It wasn't a question.

"Yes, but you asked about my feelings about the loss of my sight, so I'll stick to that, if that is okay?" she asked and I nodded, accepting whatever she was willing to give me. "It's hard for me to separate my emotions. I was still reeling over what happened between us, finding out I was pregnant, and then to not be able to see; I just felt overwhelmed. To have that part of my world cut off from me was so…terrifying. Leah helped, she bitched at me to get up, made me do things for myself and not just Carlie, made me shower and slowly, over the course of the first year, I began to live again. But I was still terrified, and clumsy, and attempting to rediscover the world I lived in without the beauty I'd taken for granted."

I was shocked to see a little smile cross her lips and hear a chuckle.

"I can't say that I was an emotional wreck because I had to keep it together for Carlie, Jake, Leah, and Seth…but I was close. There were days that the only reason I got out of bed was because I knew that Jake or Leah would make me, or worse, put the two babies in it with me and leave." The horrified look on her face told me they'd done just that on occasion. When she saw my look she clarified. "They only went outside, because I was still unsteady on my feet, but their point was made." She waved her hands as if she was directing a symphony. "Jacob gave me no quarter, so I had to be human. He found a local agency that helped me learn to manage my blindness; walk with the cane, things like that. I went to school to learn Braille at night, when they were home, and I babysat during the day while they went to school. One day, it hit me that I hadn't fallen into the pit of despair in over a year."

"But at first?"

"It's hard to really define, Edward. I felt incredible pain, as if someone had reached their hand into my chest and ripped out my heart, and then when the shock set in, I was …dead…as if all the life had been sucked out of me. Living came back to me in stages, a little at a time."

One would think that it would be better to hear her describe it in such a clinical fashion, but for me, it was harder. She was being detached almost in the way that she said it. I would prefer her to scream at me. "I have so much to make amends for." When she began to interrupt, I finally touched her, taking her hand in mine. "Please, just let me say this. I know that you've heard my apology, that's not what I'm saying, although you know I'm infinitely sorry. What I meant is that I have so many things I missed out on, that I'll never be able to redo. There is so much for me to do, in such a short period of time. Once she goes to college, it'll be different…she'll want her independence."

She nodded in agreement. "But she'll always be Carlie, Edward. She isn't like most kids, she has this really big heart and isn't afraid to show it. She and Seth won't just…forget us."

I grinned at the "knowing" in her voice. I didn't doubt it if Bella said it. She and Jacob had done an incredible job with the two of them.

"Are you okay with your mom and dad getting Samantha?" she asked, the question coming out of left field.

"Hm…yeah, I guess. I can't tell you that I didn't want her to be with…" I stopped, realizing what I'd been about to say.

"Us," she supplied.

I refused to back down from her gaze, although it would've been easy to. "Yeah."

"Well, I guess the good thing is that she'll be right here amidst the chaos of your family." Remembering Alice's face, I grinned knowing that Bella was right. Samantha might be under my parents' supervision on the books, but she'd have us all. "That's what Marla learned in the second chapter, Edward…what I learned…that family isn't just about blood ties, but heart ties. I have them with the Blacks and the Velathris. We can build those with her."

"I know I tell you all the time that you are beautiful, but when was the last time I complimented you on being so smart?"

The twinkle in her eye was immediate. "It's been awhile." She arched her eyebrow at me in challenge.

Leaning over to place my lips close to hers, I quoted Shakespeare, "Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits."

"Edward, you mustn't talk so harshly about yourself. You do act intelligently…once in awhile," she threw back and then started giggling, having been able to deliver such a well-aimed barb, turning my praise around to equate me to a dullard.

On instinct, I grabbed her and started tickling her ribs in retribution. Her shrieks filled the air as my fingertips danced over her, and in the end, we ended up tangled in each other, the carefully made bed destroyed. Perfectly content to lay in the bed, wrapped around her, I barely stirred when she removed her glasses, stretching over to place them on the table. But I did startle when her hand came back to thread through my hair, pulling me up from the comfortable pillow I'd made of her chest. My heart pounded at the sudden awareness of the predicament we were in, bodies pressed flush to one another, our skin touching where her tank top and shorts and my boxers didn't cover.

"Bella…" I warned in a hoarse whisper, seeing the mischief in her eyes.

She leaned up and gave me a soft, worshipful kiss. "Yes?" her breath fanned out, racing across my sensitive lips.

"I…" my voice croaked. **Danger! Danger!** I heard the warnings going off in my head.

"Edward, kiss me," she said softly, but it was clear that it wasn't a request, but an order.

Groaning at the thought, I shifted to my good side, balancing on my elbow. Running my thumb along her cheekbones, I tried not to lunge as I saw her pupils dilate and her breathing become erratic at the feel of my caress. Strands of her hair had fallen across her forehead from our tumbling, so I threaded my fingers through the silkiness, fanning it out like a halo around her. The fine arch of her eyebrows lured me, and I moved my thumb across them, following the decidedly intriguing arches, to then trace back over her cheekbones. As if my body and mind had separated, I watched in fascination as my thumb brushed over the plump fullness of her lower lip, pulling it down slightly. Her tongue came out to follow my pathway, wetting the skin after I'd finished, and I didn't know what she saw in my face, but whatever it was her eyes widened perceptibly and darkened.

Unable to help myself, I skimmed my fingers down her throat, following the graceful column to feel the fluttering of her artery, the action betraying the pounding of her heart. The flush of desire rose on her checks. She was exquisite.

"You take my breath away," I whispered, before leaning down to place my lips at the spot on her neck where I could see her pulse frantically beating.

The moan that tore out of her and the way she arched into me battered at my defenses. KISS! Keep it simple stupid! I chanted in my head. Tasting her skin…that was keeping it easy…right? _Doesn't matter_, the devil on my shoulder argued…shivering in delight as I ran my tongue across the pulse point, pulling her unique flavor in and drowning in it.

"Edward!" she growled out my name, twisting against me and pulling my hair sharply. Her actions shot desire along my skin, racing across every inch, pooling in my groin.

She cried out as I moved up to take the lobe of her ear in my teeth, sucking gently and worrying the delicate shape of it. I used the tip of my tongue to trace the folds and then gently blew across the area causing her to shudder against me again.

Knowing I was in very shaky territory, I moved on, leaning over her…the tip of her nose was next, and I nipped it playfully before soothing the action with my lips. She closed her eyes as I moved in their direction, allowing me to kiss her eyelids. Her eyes had always mesmerized me, so I wanted to pay them homage, brushing across the delicate skin that hid their depths from me.

"I said kiss me!" she growled out, twisting against me in need, brushing areas that didn't require any further encouragement.

"This is a kiss! Stay still!" I barked out, but the tone was pleading. Her throaty chuckle still made our bodies move in indecent ways against each other. "You're killing me!" I accused.

She whimpered, but stopped moving, and I let my breath out, grateful at her cooperation.

Stretching to reach her hairline, I kissed down it, giving into temptation just a little to trace the other ear before moving to her jaw line. Following the delicate bone structure with my tongue, I gripped the sheets with my free hand, trying to control the insane need to take her. The scent of her, her arousal, and the throaty whimpers and groans coming from her throat filled my senses, making me drunk. I wanted to be in her, to feel her surrounding me, to be one with her, and I hadn't even tasted her lips yet.

I touched the corner of her mouth first, knowing that to see it raised in laughter was one of my fondest desires. She gasped at the contact, and I had to fight through the red haze in my head to keep from taking advantage of it…forcing myself to place soft feathery kisses across her mouth. Taken by surprise, my body sprawled over hers when she pulled me closer, and I roared out as I came into contact with the heat and wetness soaking through her sleep shorts. Before I could move, she wrapped a leg around my hips, securing me there and opening up further to me.

"Fuck!" I growled against her, and she took advantage of the opportunity, flicking her tongue into my mouth and brushing against mine. I lost it, greedily taking what she offered, and sucking her tongue into my mouth, devouring her, letting the little sex sounds she was making engulf me. Tasting, sucking, nibbling…it all combined into a fiery, greedy communion.

The ambrosia of her burnt away much of my control, but when she moved her hips, rubbing against me, good intentions came precariously close to fleeing. Sensing the sudden shift, she tightened her leg against me.

"Edward…need…please..."

Please… I could deny her nothing and pressed down against her…letting her take what she needed. She cried out at the pressure and moved in sure, deep rolls against me. The kiss turned feral as Bella moved sensuously, greedily, determinedly. Feeling her heartbeat becoming erratic, the movements losing their fluidity as her body jerked, striving for release, I broke from her to watch her face, to see the sight that had haunted my dreams. Brown eyes flew open, latching onto me as she shattered, rising against me harshly in relief.

"Edward!" she screamed as she came, her body twisting and hands grasping. She slumped back into the bed, soft pants of breath stirring the air between us, as she shook with the aftermath of what had just occurred.

Body in agony, my mind took control, allowing the physical to remain unmet while the emotional soaked up the splendor below me. Bella's lips were parted, the color high on her cheeks, her muscles slack with repletion…she was beyond beautiful in that moment. Satiated…

I started to move, but her hand caught me at the wrists keeping me still.

"Edward, I would…" she gave away her intent when the other hand moved from my shoulder, where she'd buried her nails in me, to my chest traveling downward.

I moved so fast that my chest twinged, stopping her movement. "Bella, no." Her eyes opened, and I saw the hurt there. "Baby, please, don't. You know I want you to touch me. God how much I want you to touch me, but I can't promise I won't….I'm not as… Damnit! Baby, your hands on me right now…it would destroy my plans, how I want to do this. I've gone about it all wrong in the past and…" Her fingertips to my lips stopped the verbal flow.

"But you are in need," she said softly, having realized that I was about to lose control, and that she held all the power. Need wasn't even close to describing the ache. Base, feral necessity was a better beginning.

"I'll be okay," I groaned, knowing it would take forever for my cock to calm. The feelings I'd had in the past with other women was nothing in comparison. This thing with her…it was completion; it was about becoming a fiery whole.

"Would you consider…um…taking care of it here and now…letting me watch?" she asked.

The roar that tore out of me was animalistic, and I turned from her to lay on my stomach, keeping temptation from us both. I groaned in part fear and part lust when I felt her lean over me, her hair dragging across the bare skin of my back in a tantalizing manner.

"I would like to watch," she slyly said.

Oh God! It would seem this Robert guy had taught her much…and I didn't know whether to be pissed or grateful. Feeling the pressure of the mattress against me, it was all I could do not to grind into the bed seeking relief. What other things had my once shy Bella learned…what other pleasures?

"Bella…"

"Okay! I get it. I'll respect your decision, but why don't you go take a shower."

Shower! Hot water running across my skin like Bella's fingers, my hand wrapped around my cock while I imagined it was hers, her mouth… My hiss had her smiling against the skin of my back. I knew I had to move though when I felt a single fingertip travel down my spine.

I was standing beside the bed in a heartbeat, looking down to her sprawled in abandon where I'd just been. She smiled at me like a temptress and then moved her vision to where my erection was quite evident.

"Damn," she whispered, her tongue coming out to wet her lips again.

"Fuck!" I groaned and moved as quickly away from her as I could.

"Edward." I turned just as I came to the bathroom door to look at her in response. "Since you wouldn't let me do what I planned to…go ahead and imagine it is my lips wrapped around you," she suggested seductively.

My legs almost gave out from under me at the visual, and I had to reach out to grab a hold of the doorframe to support myself. She moved as if to come help me, but her devilish laughter followed me into the room as I pushed the door close in symbolic defense against her seduction.

Yelping at the cold water that hit me, I gave up on any pretention that this was anything other than what it was, wrapping my hand around my hard as rock cock and shuddering at the image of Bella nuzzling me. The need was so intense…so stoked by the feel of her rubbing against me that I barely had to envision her tongue swiping my engorged head…rubbing my thumb over it in simulation…and I was shooting streams of cum against the tiles, jerking harshly to relieve the pressure in my balls.

The feeling was so intense that I didn't make a sound.

I wanted to laugh when I felt the water finally warm as I steadied myself, head hanging under the deluge to help clear it. She was trouble…in the best possible way. Imagine her challenging me like that…telling me to visualize her taking me into her mouth.

Damn it! I was already hard again just with the fantasy. I remembered what it had felt like to have her moving against me, and groaned as my hand moved in repetition with my memory. Adding in the feel of her tongue tracing across me, the scorch of her hot mouth surrounding me, my hands threaded through the silk of her hair…

I cried out this time, when the second, no less intense, orgasm crashed over me. Barely any cum, but the release was as incredible, the warm water washing over me, replicating what it would feel like to be taken by her.

Legs weak, I suddenly feared I wouldn't even make it back to bed, so I soaped down quickly, drying as I walked across the bathroom floor. Wrapping the towel around my hips, I moved into the room, ready to face the embarrassment to find Bella sound asleep. Grinning, I pulled on a clean set of boxers and then crawled in to pull her flush against me.

My life…my soul…my mate.

~SOMP~

"Good morning," her voice said sweetly, after one of the best night's sleep I'd had in over a decade.

"Morning," I mumbled into her hair, unwilling to move. I felt rested, replete.

"I would say that I'm sorry for last night, but I'm not," she said softly, but I could sense the slight embarrassment in her tone. "I needed you," she added.

"I'm yours, Bella. Whatever you need or want."

"I'll keep that in mind." I heard the humor now. "Jake and Leah will be here within an hour, he wanted to change the date to lunch instead of dinner."

"Mm…" I responded, not even really registering what she said.

"Edward?"

"Hmmm?"

"It's eleven o'clock. Don't you think everyone will wonder where we are?"

"Eleven o'clock!" I half-shouted, sitting up quickly. I never slept this late. Looking down, I saw that she had her phone in her hand and was shaking it at me. The text from Jacob was clear…the letters larger in an effort to help her see them.

"Shower!" I grumbled.

"Yes, was it as good for you as it was for me?" she asked innocently, and it took a full moment for her intentions to become clear. She was teasing me!

I started to become flustered, but figured two could play at the game. "Oh yes…twice." Raising my eyebrow in challenge, I slid from the bed, determined to get clean first so that she could have time to do whatever she needed.

"Twice?" she squeaked, and I turned to see an almost envious look on her face.

"Twice," I growled out in obvious satisfaction. "Your visual suggestion was quite…arousing."

This time instead of being the seductress taunting me as I raced into the bathroom, she growled out, "Not fair!"

I couldn't help the cleansing laughter that tore from me. Hopefully, our easy banter would set the tone of the day. If Emmett was in the house, we were going to be crucified. He would know…and he would take full advantage. Somehow it didn't bother me…

"Casual or dressy?" I asked as we passed, her making her way to the shower.

"Casual," she offered up, winking at me in good humor. "I would think most likely pizza, knowing Jake's fine dining choices, and something relaxing afterward."

"Okay," I said quickly, leaning down for a quick kiss. "I love you," I said, watching the way her eyes glowed.

"I love you, too," she whispered, before moving on to get ready.

Dressing in jeans and a button down, I decided to test the waters and see who was lying in wait. I just barely contained my groan of panic seeing Jasper sitting at the table, his long legs stretched out before him, hands steepled. Emmett didn't even attempt to act as if he hadn't been staking us out.

"Well…well…well… Does he look a little…um…rested to you Jasper?" he asked in a falsely innocent voice.

"Rested? I guess you could call it that," my southern brother-in-law drawled, never moving a muscle except to smile in a "shit-eating" grin, as he called it.

I ran my fingers through my still wet hair, probably making it stand on end, and immediately realized my mistake as Emmett saw the tell-tale mannerism.

He sniffed theatrically, "I do believe our brother has become a man."

Jasper attempted to hold in the chuckle but failed miserably. "Most likely over and over."

"Shut it!" I hissed out going over to get some juice, realizing just how much I sounded like my father.

"Boys!" my mother warned as she came into the room. Emmett and Jasper both looked crestfallen, knowing they'd lost any further opportunity. "Come on, Carlisle needs your help before you leave. He's working with Carlie and Samantha to set up the barbeque station." My brothers and I groaned, knowing the ordeal of that, and I for one was grateful that Carlie and Samantha were there as new initiates. Seeing the looks of similar dread on all our faces, my mom smiled in understanding. "The girls are doing well in feeding his ego; Carlie actually is a master at soothing male egos…I'm sure she gets that from Bella." She grinned even further at me before announcing, "I'm going to invite the Velathris and the Blacks to come to a cook out tomorrow." She saw my look. "I know, it's a last minute idea, but we all need to get to know one another better…so it'll be my first event."

I took the out provided and allowed her to drag me out of the room away from the men who'd think nothing of flaying me alive with their sexual innuendos.

"Chicken," I heard Emmett say softly, only to hush when my mother turned on him.

"Sorry, Mom."

"Sure you are," she growled at him.

He got only one other opportunity to say anything and it was just as Jacob and Leah arrived. It was simply, "I have something for you. I'll leave it in your room for when you and Bella get back."

The way he waggled his eyebrows at me, I was immediately horrified. I couldn't keep my hands off her as it was…I didn't need any of Emmett's inducements. As Bella led me out of the house, following her two best friends, I glared at my brother, and the big goof only grinned at me and waved in a silly manner. The ass blew me a kiss.

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><p><strong>As always, I would love to know what you think. <strong>

**What do you think Emmett is leaving? Something naughty or something nice?**

**Just in time for Mother's Day week, Carlisle/Esme outtake for review replies. My husband has been making fun of me for crying as I write it. I'm not usually a sentimental fool, but I am the mother of seven, so I get a little break! Smile.**


	47. Receiving

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness.**

**Thanks to AllyVera for nominating Sins of My Past over on the Twilight Eclipse Awards for best Original Character – Carlie. Voting has started, and if you are enjoying the story, I would appreciate a vote. **

**twilighteclipseawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**I sent the Esme/Carlisle (Mother's Day) outtake to all reviews. If you didn't get the outtake, or want it, please let me know in a review. In addition, if you have your PM messaging blocked, send me a direct PM with your email address, and I'll send! **

**Also, to my readers outside the States, the football game described here is American football. I know the difference! Having lived in Spain for awhile, I am fully aware of what "real football" is! Just FYI, University of Washington is one of a group of colleges that the NFL has dubbed as a Quarterback University...they actively send recruiters to search out talented arms!**

**Lastly, Happy Mother's Day to each and every one of you (current or future Mother's). I've just consumed my breakfast composed of a HoneyBun, Toast, Coke, Juice, Yogurt, Cupcake, cereal, and granola bar (each child contributed). I'm just hoping I don't get sick – ha!**

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

Thankfully, Jacob had brought Leah's car instead of his Jeep. I'd been mentally preparing to pull myself up into it, my chest still sore from my jerky flight from Bella of the past night. So I sighed in thanks upon seeing the sedan. My endurance was actually pretty good as long as whatever I was doing didn't put strain on the muscles around my injury. Moving to the back door, I pulled it open for Bella to slide in and watched as Jacob did the same for Leah up front. I grinned seeing that he took the opportunity to steal a quick kiss from her…and her playful shove and resulting giggle. The obvious love and affection between them made me glad and envious at the same time. _Give it time_, I told myself.

"So, Jake, where're we going?" Bella asked almost as soon as he closed the door.

He turned and smiled brilliantly at us. "Edward, do you think you could handle a football game? We can park close because I have priority clearance, the weather is supposed to be in the low 50's, and best of all…I have a box, so there'll be space to spread out."

I realized he was really saying "so that you can lay down if you need to," but he was attempting to protect my ego. The realization was stunning, considering just how I'd treated him in the past. Jacob was not the boy or man I'd thought. _You already knew that, _the good angel harped.

A football game? The flash of excitement raced through me. "UDub?"

His grin was fierce, like that of a wolf about to tear its prey apart. "Yup! One of my kids is their star quarterback, and he came through with the last minute tickets and arrangements."

"Bryce Jones is yours!" I spit out.

His grin turned up even brighter. "Yup!"

"Oh yeah!" I breathed out reverently, visions of purple and white already racing through my head.

Bella laughed out loud at our reactions, and I thought I heard her muttere "Boys," but it was so low I wasn't sure.

"But I didn't come prepared…"

Leah stopped me with her words. "Edward, my husband has a literal Football Preparedness Kit in the back of this car. Where others plan for Swine Flu and Doomsday, Jacob prepares for Saturday football."

Her words were said with just the right amount of long suffering, but the teasing look said she was right behind him in it.

"Blankets, extra jackets…all in UDub colors, drinks, water, snacks…they're all necessities." Jacob said the words with determination. "The game's at 3 p.m., so we've got time to go by Johnny's and get pizza."

Bella snorted, gaining my attention. "Jake's addicted to Johnny's. He and Seth fight over it."

"Speaking of…" I murmured "…where's Seth and Samantha? I thought they might come over to spend time with Carlie."

Leah grinned with maternal pride. "Sam demands one Carlie free Saturday each month. It's her 'Big Brother Day,' where he has to do whatever she wants. Today's the day, but I'm certain they'll be piled up on the couch with takeout pizza by three."

"Ordering delivery for them," Jake spoke at the same time, while Leah continued.

"And your mom had already called to ask us over for tomorrow, so they'll see each other then..." she left off with a shrug.

"Big Brother Day?" I looked to Bella for explanation.

"They've been doing it since about the time that Sam was able to talk. Bib' Butta' she called him."

Jacob snorted in glee as Leah grinned. "He hated the nickname, but now all she's gotta do is call him that and she gets anything she wants. She's got him whipped," My Love informed me. "Like mother, like daughter," Bella mock whispered, earning a growl from Jacob. Totally unconcerned, she spoke louder. "Leah trained her well."

Their banter reminded me of my siblings , so I sat back to watch the fireworks. Bella and Jake ripped into one another the entire way to the pizzeria.

"Are they always like this?" I quietly asked Leah as we walked into the restaurant, Jacob and Bella mock scuffling ahead of us.

"Always. He's been jonesing since she hasn't been around to tear a piece of his hide off. Been insufferable really. Needs his BS time."

Bella Swan or Bull Shit time? I wasn't quite sure which one was being indicated.

Having turned and seeing the look on my face, Jacob answered my question. "Both, since they equate to the same."

Bella screeched, having deduced what he was implying and then soundly smacked him in the bicep. He grinned like a village idiot in response before grabbing her up into a bone crushing hug. "Bells…I missed you. My arms have been needing the fly swats."

From where she stood beside me, Leah glanced over and rolled her eyes. It was clear that this was typical behavior. But any further questioning or teasing was cut off when we were led to a large booth at the side of the restaurant. Bella all but slid under my arm on the smooth wood bench, and I saw the assessing look on Jacob's face. He covered it quickly, but I knew he was still watching to see if I was serious about Bella and the situation. Too bad he wasn't a mind reader; my level of sincerity would have calmed his fears.

"Usual for drinks?" The waitress, who stepped up, asked of the table and upon seeing the other nods, turned to me as the stranger. "Sir?"

"Coke," I answered, knowing that I'd be good and have water later at the game.

As soon as she moved away, Jacob asked, "What kind of pizza do you like, Edward? The girls generally wimp out and have pepperoni."

"The meat lovers from here was amazing," I said of the few pieces I'd been allowed in the hospital.

"Excellent!" he growled out in happiness, throwing his arm around his wife's shoulder.

His fingers tickled her skin where her shirt sleeve exposed the smooth tan of her arms. Almost instinctually, she moved closed into him. Turning to Bella, I watched her grin at their behavior. It must be heart-warming to see them together after so long of being in their presence and denied the pleasure.

"Okay, I've got your drinks," the waitress said, setting everything down quickly and efficiently. "Eats?"

It was then that I learned the true depths of Jacob's stomach. Only Emmett could rival him. I was still chuckling at the sheer volume of food he could inhale as we pulled up to the football stadium. True to his word, Jacob had gotten clearance for priority parking, putting us close to the 'reserved' entrance. The crisp air as we stepped out of the car spoke of good football weather.

"Okay, time to load up," he quickly said, eager to get into the stadium now that we were here.

As efficiently as I'd ever seen anyone, he popped the trunk, and I got the first look at the 'Black Survival Kit.' Some of our planes were less equipped.

"Snacks for you, Bells," he handed me a backpack, and I realized that he meant for me to get her into it. She in turn handed me her folding cane to put inside the bag.

"I always get the 'goods'," she informed me. "Jake figured out that I'm less likely to be bothered at security." She snickered. "He's also been known to place embarrassing feminine products on top to discourage any of the really eager beavers."

"I can't help it if young college boys get all 'a flutter' when they see you and Leah. But my dad raised me to be smart and use what's given to me," Jake answered, loading Leah with another bag as I finished with Bella.

He brought a rolling cooler and the blankets out. "I can manage those," I told him, and then at his doubtful look, I stacked the blankets neatly against the handle and used a bungee cord I saw in the back of Leah's car to strap them. Seeing his widened eyes, I smirked and explained. "We have a box at Century Link, but Em likes to be down at field level. Jasper and I are his usual companions because the girls like to stay in the air." Seeing his interest, I offered up. "Any of the games you'd like to go to…you have an open invite."

"Cool!" he barked out, handing us each jackets and Bella a pair of sunglasses before taking another heavier bag to throw across his back. Then, looking at his watch and seeing the mass crowds through the gating, he urged us on.

Knowing now that Jacob had been Bryce's high school coach, I wasn't surprised when after security; we eased through all the rest of the gates to an elevator that would lead up to the private areas.

"You okay?" Bella asked, squeezing the hand she'd taken almost immediately after exiting the car.

"Yeah…I'm fine." Even with security, we hadn't had to walk very far from where Jacob had been able to park. Her assessing look told me that she was going to worry. I huffed at her, causing her to shake her head. "I promise I'll tell you if I'm getting too tired." As if on instinct, I raised our combined hands to her face, my fingertip smoothing down her jaw to comfort her. The contact sent shivers down my spine, and I saw her pupil dilate as well.

Jacob's throat clearing was the only thing that brought us back to attention. His smirk promised that we'd receive appropriate harassment for our distraction. Thankfully, the elevator door opened, providing another focus. It was but a short walk to the door, which opened into a medium sized room complete with a solid wall of glass looking out over the 50 yard line, several couches and various movable chairs, a small bar and kitchenette, and a widescreen TV for up close coverage.

"Wow! Nice," Leah muttered, following Jacob in.

I agreed. It was well done particularly for a college stadium. "Fifty yard line? Good connections," I admitted to Jacob.

Moving quickly, we all helped to throw the food in the frig and get set up for the start, but when I went to unpack the backpack that Jacob had carried, a thrill raced through me. He'd included several pairs of high power binoculars. "Bella, do you want to try these to see if they will work to let you see the game?" I asked.

Jacob looked to me in confusion, but then growing hope.

"I think that with the glasses, you might be able to use the magnification," I told her as she walk slowly over, a look on her face that was a mixture of hope and disbelief. "C'mon, over here," I said, walking to the plate glass. I grinned in anticipation, moving her in front of me so that I could stand at her back before gathering her hair gently. Looping the leather straps around her neck, I directed her. "Hold them up and tell me what you see."

Placing my hands on her shoulders, I felt the slight tension that took over her when she moved the binoculars down to look at the field.

"I see blurs and silhouettes."

I reached up and adjusted the lenses slightly. "Better or worse?"

"Worse."

Moving the focus again, I heard her hiss. "Better?"

"Yes, the blurs are becoming clearer."

Leah appeared at my side, and I glanced over to see her watching us closely. She was biting her lip to keep from becoming upset. Smiling at her, I went back to adjusting the binoculars and felt Bella trembling against me.

"Stop! Perfect!" she said in a startled tone. "I can see them!"

Leah put her fist to her mouth, trying to control a sob.

"JAKE! I can see them! Hey, what number is Bryce again?" Her voice gurgled in excitement.

"27."

"What gate do they come out of?" she asked almost as quickly as he answered.

He'd moved beside her and answered, "To your left."

Had she looked, Bella would have found her two best friends fighting hard to keep tears from flowing, but she was engulfed in the amazing new world the binoculars provided. It was without a doubt that I would be purchasing the best pair my money could buy. I couldn't figure out why I hadn't already thought about this. When Bella leaned back into me in a relaxed manner, I took the opportunity to wrap my arms around her waist, resting my chin on the top of her head.

"I'm going to turn on the TV so that we can hear the announcers," Jacob announced, capturing my attention. He took the moment to mouth "thank you" silently. What he was thanking me for, I couldn't understand.

Within a minute, the sounds outside the windows before us filled the room, the chanting fans, the voice of the announcers, the comparisons of stats. The game was going to be highly competitive, the Huskies going against the cross-state rival WSU. It made me think to tell Jake something.

"Hey, good job on Bryce. Rumor is he's already being scouted by several NFL teams."

He came back to stand with us, Bella not having moved from my arms or from in front of the glass where she stood still surveying the scene below us. "Yeah, unfortunately." Answering the quizzical look on my face he went further, "He's young, and he has a good head on his shoulders, but his dad and I continue to reinforce the benefit of staying all four years. It helps and hurts that he's here."

"Quarterback U," I mumbled.

"Exactly," he grinned. "We were ecstatic when he was recruited, but immediately began hammering into him not to be seduced by the glitz of it all."

"He'll be fine; his mom will keep him straight," Leah added to the conversation. "That woman even scares me, but in a good way. She's determined to see her son graduate college, and so he will," she snickered.

"His dad and I sat him down and gave him the 'scared straight' talk. Brought up Nick Greene."

Nick Greene…

Bella felt my reaction and finally lowered the binoculars to turn and look up at me. "Edward?"

No secrets…

"I knew Nick, from undergrad. It wasn't like I was personal friends with him, but we ran in the same circles."

Nick, a senior at UDub, was the brightest of the bright, had an arm of gold, and was on his way to Dallas as the Cowboys draft choice. Nick was also a party boy, and the night he'd gotten high and decided to drive, he and I'd attended the same gathering. Only through the grace of a power higher than me, I'd left the scene an hour before Nick did, crashing his car into another car just outside the party. A family of four had been killed, Nick paralyzed.

Jacob had grown still, a stoic look on his face.

Removing my arms from around Bella, I turned to face him, to put one of my many mistakes on display. "I have a history, Jacob. I don't know what Bella has shared with you and Leah, but you should know that I chose to bury a lot with drugs for a good many years. My parents fought against my addiction long enough to help me win against it, but it wasn't until my later years in college."

"What did you use?" he asked in a soft tone, while the crowd outside the window went crazy preparing for the start of the game.

"Coke and pot mostly, mixed with alcohol. I did Heroin occasionally." It was hard to maintain eye contact with him; his dark eyes had gone hard.

"How long have you been clean?"

"Well, before my surgery, since my Junior year in college."

"You actually count being on the pain meds from surgery as not being clean?" Leah asked, having moved to Jacob's side and leaning into him.

"Well, I'm not literally clean." I shrugged, but heard Bella's huff of disgust beside me.

"When was the last time you used a drug for pleasure?" Jacob countered.

"Junior year, here."

"I would say then that you've been clean since then…coming off the meds from surgery is something most anyone would have to do, Edward. I admit you may have a harder time than some, but you know it is what it is. By the way, Aro had already told us all that, but I appreciate your honesty. I always knew you had to be fucked up to give up on Bells, I just didn't know in what way."

"Jake!" both Leah and Bella shrieked, Leah punching his arm at the statement.

I actually thought it was a good shot. He was letting me know what he thought about what I'd done, but in a way that said he was ready to move along. I nodded in acknowledgment. It was out, I knew what he thought, and we would go forward…but he would be watching. It was fair.

He smirked at me before circling a hissing Leah in his arms and kissing her. "Babe, don't worry, it's a male thing. I flexed my muscles, he accepted how I feel, and I do believe he plans to convince me he's changed. Male posturing, you know… He's fine, I'm fine, and we'll go from here. Right Edward?" Now the amiable smile was back in place.

"Right!" I agreed, grinning back at him. I would bet he was a pro in male posturing considering the teenage jocks he managed on a daily basis.

Bella glared at me though. "So just like that, you're okay with it?"

"Well, it's the truth. I was 'fucked up' to give you up." I couldn't help but brush a stray lock of hair away from her face gently. The honesty must have placated her, because she "humphed" at me and then turned back toward the field, putting the binoculars back to her face.

Just as Leah was about to say something else, Bella squealed with glee as the team poured onto the field. "Shh! Here they come!"

And the moment was smoothed over by the excitement of the game. Distracted by the ability to see the field, Bella remained standing for the time that Leah and I went to the small kitchen area to retrieve the water, chips, and trail mix.

"Thanks for being honest with us, Edward," Leah said softly, her eyes glancing over to see Jacob pointing players out to Bella.

"I know I have a long way to go to win back your trust, Leah…maybe you more than Jacob, considering what you witnessed of my past mistakes. I love her. I know that love doesn't always conquer all, but I want it to in this case. She and Carlie are the most important things in my life. Even if she doesn't chose to stay with me, that fact won't change. I still have a lot to learn though. She isn't the girl that I left behind," I admitted.

"No, no she isn't. She a competent woman who knows her place in life."

Seeing Bella turn at something Jacob said, I smiled in total infatuation. "She was a competent girl then, Leah. She's just Bella. And being Bella, she's protecting me from her feelings and emotions. We're working on it, and she's opening up, which I'm grateful for."

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked, but the tone wasn't confrontational.

"I'm sorry if I stepped over a line. You're her sister, and I wanted to let you know my intentions."

"Which are?" She was staring at me, assessing me as clearly as her husband had.

I felt the stain of the blush that lit up my face. "I want it all, I want what you and Jacob have…what I think Bella and I would have had if I'd been the person she needed then."

"And Carlie?"

"I want to be half the father to her that my father has been to me, that Jacob has been to her." The sentence had come out without thought. Leah was a smart woman; she saw that it had come from the heart.

"Very well, prove to me that you mean that, and you'll have my support."

"Hey you two, what are you talking about over there?" Bella called out over the screaming crowd on the TV and outside the windows. "Kick off is about to happen, hurry up."

The Huskies had won the toss, so within minutes we were being wowed by Bryce Jones' arm.

Three minutes before the half, third down and four yards to go on the forty yard line had Jacob and I standing at each other's side, shouting out recommendations. We were up by seven already, but going into the half with a two touchdown lead would be icing.

"Gotta run it," Jacob yelled against the glass, pounding his fist slightly at the divider.

"NO! Pass, go for it, they'll be expecting a run," I argued.

"Are you crazy!" he roared. "NO!"

"Do the unexpected!" I countered.

We both gasped at the snap, waiting in expectation to see who'd guessed right. Bryce step back into protection, his favorite receiver darting out from an opening and flying down the field like a bullet.

"Pass!" I gasped in exultation and Jacob in disbelief.

As beautiful as a choreographed ballet, the ball sprouted wings out of Bryce's hands bound for the boy tearing down the field. Like a magnet, it zoomed into the receiver's grasp, and the crowds' roar was no louder in the room that mine and Jacob's. A good five yards lead on the nearest defensive back; it was a walk in the park. Overwhelmed with the feel of victory, Jacob raised his hand up to give me five and then reconsidered, realizing if he hit me as hard as he was going to, I'd be on the floor in the state I was. Instead, he held back keeping the "high five" to a bare stinging slap.

Bella squeezed my other hand, thank goodness on the side of my injury, in happiness at our male bonding, the binoculars still glued to her eyes. The coach was wise in using up a good chunk of the remaining time setting up for the field goal. I wanted to believe that WSU slunk into the locker rooms to lick their wounds.

Having been riding high on the thrill of the game, I suddenly felt the fatigue pulling at me, and when I saw Bella finally lower the binoculars, the tension around her eyes was evident as well. Half time – a few minutes of respite. Just as I was about to admit to the need to lay down for a short rest, Jacob spoke.

"Leah and I are going down to the locker room. She likes looking at the sweaty guys; I need to give Bryce a pep talk," he said, pulling his scowling wife after him. "Bells, close your eyes for a little and talk the Redhead into joining you." With those orders he lowered the noise from the TV and then exited the room.

"Redhead?" I attempted not to be insulted.

"It's better than his previous nickname for you. Several steps up actually." She smirked at me, and it was hard to be insulted when there was little I could do about what genetics had given me…the behavior that had earned the other 'nicknames'…yeah, I had had something to do with those I was certain.

"Headache?" I asked, seeing her take off the glasses and rub at her eyes.

"No, but I will have one soon, I'm afraid."

"Then, come rest with me for a few moments," I begged, pulling her toward the largest couch. It would be tight, but who was I to complain about being pressed up against her.

Rolling up one of the blankets to make a pillow of sorts, I sat and then patted the space beside me. "Just a quick rest, but first…would you like me to rub your temples?" I offered.

The interest flared immediately in her eyes. Bella's one weakness had always been my back rubs. I hadn't offered and she hadn't asked, because for me, putting my hands on her wasn't the best idea at this time. I didn't know why she hadn't mentioned them as of yet.

Her answer to the current offer was to come and sit down beside me, spinning around to lay back, her head in my lap upon the makeshift pillow. Beautiful... "Close your eyes," I chuckled, and then watched her arch a delicate eyebrow at me before doing as I said.

She'd left her glasses on the table, so I used my fingertips to smooth over her eyebrows and toward her hairline as if I was brushing away her cares and concerns. Her skin was like silk, and I kept the caresses soft, working over the strain I felt in her temples. Smoothing across her cheeks and down her neck to her shoulders, I turned slightly to give myself a better angle and worked against the tight muscles of her neck and upper shoulders. The repetitive nature of my movements soothed me as much as her, and her groans of pleasure made me smile.

"You held the binoculars up too long," I reprimanded softly.

"But I could see!" she exclaimed in explanation and then grinned.

I couldn't control the need to tap my fingers against her lips softly, moving quickly back up and over her cheeks to tug at her hair softly. While my hands worshiped her, I gave myself leave to gaze upon her…the fine eyelids feathered with the delicate blue veins, the cheek bones highlighted with a slight blush, the plump rose of her lips. After a few minutes, I felt her relax almost bonelessly against me.

"Lay down with me," she mumbled sleepily. Wish…command.

Lifting slightly to get out from under her, I scooted to the edge, and she moved to pull the pillow to one of the couch ends, putting her back against the cushions. Within a second, I was on my back, her head resting on my shoulder; her hand lay over my heart and healing wound. The feel of her gently touching me there was oddly endearing, as if she was attempting to protect me from further harm. She'd always attempted to protect me, when I was a boy and lost, and even when she called the drunken me…begging me to please contact her, trying to protect me from making the worst decision of my life. Knowing she was already sleeping, I turned to place a kiss on her forehead before the nap overtook me as well.

~SOMP~

"Don't wake them…"

"They'll miss kickoff…"

"…not the most important thing…"

"…Kinda cute…can I mess with them…"

The sound of a slap.

The banter was almost intriguing enough to surface for, but then I felt Bella's arm tighten around me and her murmur disgruntledly in her sleep. Muffled cheers seem to surround us, but I discounted the disturbance and pulled the warm body beside me closer, floating away again.

A roar woke me up sometime later, and this time I forced my eyes open…momentarily disoriented. A movement to my side quickly reminded me of where I was, and I moved slowly in an effort not to wake the woman cuddled to me. Her fingers gripped my shirt tightly, so I began to lay back down, but I saw her eyes open slowly. Another roar happened, and she growled.

"Jake! You let us sleep through some of the game!" she grumped.

"Uh… Uh… Don't blame me, I wanted to wake you, but Leah insisted." A scream outside the window distracted him.

"Feel better?" I asked, running my fingertip over her eyebrows again.

"Yes, much."

"Did you get enough rest?" she countered.

Her question brought the pain into focus; I'd forgotten to take my meds, and I was afraid that it would become obvious soon. Accurately judging the situation, Bella narrowed her eyes and quickly crawled from behind me, headed for the kitchenette. She was quickly back with a bottle of water.

"Pill!" She held out her hand, and I moved to pull the pack out of my jeans.

My hands shook a little as I swallowed down the damned thing. It would probably take at least a half hour before it helped, but I refused to allow the delay to ruin the rest of the day. I struggled up and took a moment to get my balance. Jacob watched me like an eagle, assessing my abilities as a coach would one of his protégées after a good hard hit. It would seem he determined me capable seconds before I did, turning back to the window and giving me my dignity.

"What quarter are we in?" I asked.

"Top of the fourth," Leah supplied. "I wasn't going to allow you to sleep much longer; no nap is worth missing us kicking their ass."

"Score?" Bella squealed, grabbing her glasses and the binoculars again. She pointed to one of the chairs Jacob had pulled in front of the windows, telling me exactly where she wanted me. Smirking, I sat and she scooted into my lap, immediately engrossed in the action below us.

"We're ahead by twenty one."

~SOMP~

The shame on WSU was great, and the crowd went wild. The madness covered up the countdown, and crazed college kids stormed the field with ten seconds left. Somewhere in the chaos, Bryce was being carried out on his teammates' shoulders.

"Damn, do you think we can get down there?" Jacob asked, surveying the sea of purple and white. It was pandemonium. "I told Bryce about your little surprise, and he wanted to see you, Bells. 'Kinda hinted that we'd find him after the game, but I'm thinking I'll have to renege on that proposal."

One of the goal posts shook, and the doctor in me was predicting lots of stitches and possibly several concussions. As an UDub grad, I was guessing that those that would receive them could care less, carrying them around as badges of honor.

Bella was laughing in joy at what she saw. I wished in that moment that she'd been able to experience college, the full effect, the fun, the craziness, the thrill of not only scholastic pursuits but also the foolish and instantaneous behavior of tearing down a goal post.

She fussed about the possibility that I'd get jostled by the crowds the entire time we made our way toward the car, drunk and ecstatic college kids screaming and partying around us. The feel in the air was electric; the vibe impossible to ignore. The only incident that threatened to spoil it for us was when a kid decided to snatch Bella from me and kiss her in drunken hype. She handled it better than I expected, patting his cheeks in big sister like behavior before he twirled her and set her down to run after his howling friends.

"You know, Edward. I could become a cougar," she teased, glancing in the direction that the young man had disappeared.

"You could," I acknowledged. "He'd probably have the energy to keep up with you."

She didn't know whether or not to scream at me or laugh, but Jacob bellowed out in great guffaws. Stalking back to me she grabbed me by the shirt, pulling me down to raise up on her tiptoes and giving me a kiss that scorched me all the way to my toes. Then to put me in my place, she smacked her lips and declared, "I'm not sure which one of you was better."

"I'll take him, if you don't want him," a girl squealed from an equally as drunk group of sorority sisters passing us.

Before we reached the car, the four of us were acting as silly as the crowd around us. Bella was leading me by my shirt; Jacob had thrown Leah on his back effortlessly. The trip out of the area was slow going but entertaining.

"Jacob, thank you for the day," I said quickly. "This was…amazing."

"No prob. Next date is on you," he challenged, making me wonder how I could top it.

I'd have to ask Carlie just what would be special for Jacob and Leah. Glancing over, I saw Bella looking at me, and I reached over to brush my thumb across her bottom lip. She winked at me, almost at about the same time a girl pounded on Jacob's window, making various propositions to him. Leah growled out, but Bella's tinkling laughter filled the car. Even I could see the blush on Jacob's face as the girl informed him of what she'd like to do to him. I could imagine that the man had been propositioned many times, with his dark, good looks and physique.

I was tired, going to crash immediately upon arrival at home, but it'd been worth it. Jacob stopped and grabbed burgers for dinner and then muttered under his breath about the "crazy girl" almost the entire way back to my parents'.

Before we walked into the house, I held my hand out to Jacob and said with sincerity, "It's been a pleasure. Next time is on me, it may have to still be your mad driving skills though." The firm grip was man to man.

"I can handle that." He looked to where Leah and Bella were saying goodbye. "Look Cullen, I can see that you make her happy, and what makes Bella happy makes me happy. Simple as that."

I nodded, accepting his offer of a new beginning.

"And when you get healthy again…I want a redo of our first fight. My ego took a beating on that one."

Pulling Bella into a hug, we watched them pull away. "Damn, I'm tired," she whispered. "I've been to many games with them, but today was just crazy."

The wind stirred her hair around her face, and I took the chance to touch her, pushing strands back behind her ears. "Tomorrow, if my parents have anything to do with it, will be as chaotic."

"Did Jake give you too hard of a time when he thought Leah and I were distracted?"

I chuckled…she was entirely too observant. "Just warned me to keep you happy."

"Okay," she said softly. "You do, you know. I know you have these great plans to wow me, but simple things like today, just being able to enjoy it with you…it feels right."

"Can I still try to wow you, though? Just a little." My hands cupped her face, my heart on my sleeve. She turned suddenly shy, moving to place her face against my chest. "What's this about?" I asked, holding her against me.

"Nothing really, I have to admit that it is a little scary. I keep expecting to wake up from this to find it has all been a dream."

I nodded my head, knowing that she could sense my understanding. Only time and consistency would take that fear away from her.

"Let's go inside. We need to get to bed. Mom isn't going to give us a break just because we spent the day out. Be prepared for lots of prep work," I warned.

Moving together, we entered the house. Noises from the living room drew us, and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing when we found my father having tea with Samantha, Carlie, Emmy, and Jasmine. Across the room, makeup had been left out, and I was certain that if I looked close enough, my father would be wearing fingernail polish. It wasn't the first time he'd been decked out in that way.

He looked up to find us in the doorway, my arm around Bella's shoulder and smiled in pleasure seeing us there. "We're going to spend the night in the living room," he announced, nodding his head to the pile of sleeping bags.

Carlie separated from the group and moved to hug first her mother and then me. "Seth called me to tell me about the game. Was it as fun as it sounded?" she asked.

"Yes!" Bella announced and then proceeded to tell her all about it.

It took another hour sitting around the kitchen table to really do our date justice. Carlie laughed at the antics of the students and about Jacob reaction to the girl flirting with him. I learned that my observation wasn't off when my daughter rolled her eyes and said, "He gets it all the time; he should be used to it by now."

"Edward, go take your shower," Bella said when she caught me dozing off. "I'll be there soon."

I wondered if she just wanted to have some alone time with Carlie, so I didn't argue, kissing both of their foreheads before I moved toward my room.

My fatigue fled as soon as I walked in the door and saw the bed. EMMETT!

Red silk sheets covered the bed and black nylon ropes came in from the posts at angles toward two strategically laid out scraps of silk. They hardly qualified as a bra and sleep shorts.

Damnit! The vision of Bella in that silk immediately filled my senses, but the thought of her walking in to see what Emmett had laid out was beyond horrifying. Growling furiously, I hurried forward, in an attempt to get the ropes undone before Bella saw it. Fate had never been the kindest of taskmistresses for me. Just as I was jerking at the last one, she walked in, eyes going large at seeing me kneeling on red silk, tugging at the black binding. The rope suddenly felt like a viper in my hands…something that was going to turn around and bite me.

"I…" my voice croaked, and I felt the rush of heat in my face. I tried to clear my throat, but nothing would come out through my embarrassment.

"Exactly what are you doing?" she asked, her tone suspiciously neutral.

"Dying of mortification."

Her face lit up in amusement, and then she pegged the criminal. "Emmett?"

"YES!" The word came out as a curse.

But she didn't give me a break either, walking over to run her fingers across the material directly beside me. "Nice…" Her voice was a purr, as soft and alluring as the material below me.

There was only so much a man could take. "Oh, God!" I groaned.

My reaction pleased her, but thankfully she found mercy for me buried somewhere deep inside her heart and relented. "C'mon, I'll help you take the sheets off," she offered, going to the edge and pulling. "Where would he have hidden the ones that were on here?"

"I have no f'ing clue," I admitted, tucking the cords in my back jeans pocket. I was imagining wrapping them around Emmett's throat at the moment…which was far better for me physically than the visual of them around Bella's narrow wrists. I had to shake myself as the enticing picture materialized.

"Hey, what's this?" she inquired, seeing a piece of folded paper in the middle of the bare mattress.

Unfolding it, she narrowed her eyes._ "If you're finding this…you've either turned chicken or torn the sheets off in passion. Either way, another treat waits where you may either find feet to your courage or a clean place to land." _She read.

"What the…"

She giggled. "He's sending us on a treasure hunt."

Imagining just what would be along the various stages of the way, I swore, "I'm going to kill him, Bella. I swear it." My hands clenched on the red silk in the manner I would've liked to have throttled my brother's throat.

"Edward?"

"Yes."

"Don't rip that, I have plans for it one day," she challenged me, and the silk fell from my fingers to the bed like it had scalded me. "Now…" she tapped her lip with the folded paper "…a place to land? Hm…." With that, she began walking toward the other room, and I realized exactly what she was thinking…the other bed.

Damn it! What could he have put there? I started to rush around her, but Bella laughed and stepped in my way, blocking me.

"Ooops!" she squeaked out in a totally unconvincing manner and then dashed away to get through the door before I could. "Damn…" Her voice was reverent.

I put my head down into my hands. There was always the age-old and time-honored art of retreat.

"Edward, come see this," she called me, and like an idiot I moved into the room.

Lust…it was a tricky thing. To see her holding the black, thigh-high leather boots stole the breath from me. My brother was a dead man. Dead, dead man. Bra, shorts, boots…

"Edward?"

"Hm…" I jerked back from my fantasies.

"Stop drooling."

"The pain medication is wearing off," I refuted, attempting to explain my dazed look. My ploy didn't work, and she broke out laughing at my joke.

"Okay, so where's the note?" she inquired, already digging through the pillows. "I have to admit…Em did well with these…they'll make my butt look good," she said of the boots, jiggling them at me while she bent over the bed.

She was temptation incarnate. I turned to put my back to her, and it was then I saw the note stuck to the full length mirror attached to the back of the opened closet door.

_"Bro, by now your either being very dirty, or knowing you, you're attempting to keep your thoughts clean in order to keep from attacking BB. I can help with that."_

Bella squeaked and ran, once again beating me out of the room. Emmett wasn't the most creative person in the world. His pattern was all too clear and all too suggestive. I sat on the bare mattress of my bed, dread making me almost sick.

"Edward…what's your favorite flavor? Strawberry? Or Passion Fruit?"

My suspicion was confirmed when her arm stuck out the doorway, shaking a bottle of flavored oil. When she disappeared, a hum of electricity made me jolt. I refused to go into the bathroom. Refused!

"Edward?"

"I'm fine right here."

"Bok! Bok!" she clucked like a chicken.

"You can say that again," I mumbled too low for her to hear.

"I'm sure you know what to do with most of this," she murmured, her voice low and sultry. A snap of leather and I was on my feet and across the room to stand just in front of the bathroom door…in front of the exit leading out to the porch.

Should I stay or should I go now? Should I stay or should I go now? If I stay there will be trouble… If I go there will be double… The Clash members suddenly seemed like Rhodes scholars to me. How true, how true…

The devil angel actually had me taking a step toward her and the things she was investigating.

_STOP!_ I yelled internally. _Do not step a foot in that bathroom!_

_"If none of this has tickled your fancy, maybe with my last surprise you'll finally find your wings."_

Odd wording, but I spun through the outside door before Bella could beat me this time. Seeing the small box leaning up against the glass of the feeder, I grabbed it and held it high; knowing that Bella would do whatever it took to get it from me. Sure enough, her hands ran across my chest and ribs torturing me before traveling up my arm as far as she could, attempting to reach it.

"C'mon Edward…how much worse can it get. If you saw what he left in the bathroom, you'd be prepared for anything. I don't even think some of those things are physically possible," she gurgled in laughter. Her brown eyes glowed with mirth, her cheeks rosy from the laughter and effort. She was absolutely adorable…and determined.

Her teasing me took me back to our carefree days, when it had felt comfortable to just be. I took the opportunity to goose her side attempting to distract her. She shrieked, the sound echoing out over my mother's meticulously pruned and beloved bird sanctuary, the joyous sound being caught by the wind and flung to the heavens above us. I wasn't going to open the box…it was going with me over to Emmett's, and I was going to give it my best effort to shove it where the sun didn't shine…contents and all.

Bella reciprocated my playful actions with a pinch to my butt causing me to yelp out. In the resulting mock scuffle, I made the mistake of lowering my arm in response and she leapt, grabbing at my elbow. Thinking I'd be slick, I tossed the box attempting to catch it with my other hand, but missed entirely, hearing it fall to the tiled patio floor behind me. In defense, I scooped the writhing woman in my arms and did what I'd wanted to do all day and pulled her lips to mine. Secluded in the romantic setting, it seemed as if I didn't kiss her, that something inside of me would explode.

It was just a quick one…full of joy, the fun of the day, and the happiness I felt at our carefree antics. I broke away, unable to trust myself to much more after the visual stimulation my brother had supplied. Damn Emmett…

"I sincerely had the best day," she whispered against my lips. Standing on her tip toes to steal yet another one, she bit my lower lip quickly before lowering back down. "Grab whatever he decided to leave us as the last harassment, and let's go to bed."

"Without Emmett's gifts!" I begged.

"But several of them seemed quite interesting…"

"Bella!" I snarled.

Her tinkling laughter floated back after her; the grin on my face was a mile wide.

**Bella POV**

Poor Emmett. Edward was going to tear into his brother as soon as he could. I couldn't help but chuckle at his suggestive gifts, but what had Edward really expected? Emmett wouldn't be Emmett without teasing us…it was just who he was. The Christmas I'd spent with them, Emmett had sent me on a wild goose chase that had ended right back under the tree.

Moving into the bathroom, I packed all the toys into the box that Emmett had left behind, turning several over in my hands to examine them before putting them up. I was intrigued by a few, but the yawn that split my face ruined any salacious thoughts or plans. I almost wished that we could sleep late in the morning, but we wouldn't be able to. It made me think…

"Edward, what time should I expect to get up?"

No answer.

"Edward, what time will your mom come get us to help?" I asked a little louder.

No answer.

Curious as to what he was doing, I walked back into the room to see. It was empty. Confused, I turned to look out the glass to see if he was still there, and that was when I began screaming Carlisle's name as I ran.

On his knees on the patio, he slumped over, one arm wrapped around his chest as if he was in pain.

"Edward!" I gasped out, falling to my knees beside him.

Grabbing his hand, I didn't breathe until I felt his fingers flex against mine.

"Bell…" Edward choked out, a lone tear traveled down his face, and I almost screamed Carlisle's name again, but saw him tearing through the door, Carlie after him.

"Call 911!" I yelled, but heard Edward's gasp and then he managed a soft "no."

"Son," Carlisle, having fallen to his knees as well, took Edward's hand from me and immediately began monitoring his blood pressure.

"Dad, ok!" He panted; his face a study in physical distress. "Just…overcome. Carlie…get Emmett please," he begged.

"Daddy?"

"Baby, I'm fine, just need Em."

"'kay," she agreed, her eyes wild, but she leapt up and ran from the room, trusting that Edward would tell her if more was needed.

"Edward, where do you hurt?" Carlisle asked, his clinical eyes roaming over the strained face before him.

"My heart, Dad, my heart." It was then I saw that the arm that I'd assumed had wrapped around him had really just been placing his hand above his heart. Then he confused us both by saying, "But in all the right ways."

"Huh?"

I didn't think I'd ever heard Carlisle sound inelegant. My shock was increased when Edward finally released his chest, took the hand he'd held above his wound and grabbed mine, cupping it between his two. I almost jerked away at the feel of something cold between them, but when Edward opened his hands, mine cupped between them, I saw the reason for his distress.

Cradled in my hand was our bracelet…

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><p><strong>As always, I would love to know what you think. <strong>

**My review outtake for this week is probably one of the most difficult I've written because of the person's voice. Samantha's thoughts about her new situation, home, and family.**


	48. Line in the Sand

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness.**

**Thanks to AllyVera for nominating Sins of My Past over on the Twilight Eclipse Awards for best Original Character – Carlie. Voting has started, and if you are enjoying the story, I would appreciate a vote. **

**twilighteclipseawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**In recent correspondence with a reader, we discussed the group of individuals who feel that Bella hasn't dealt with her feelings yet. She endearingly called them (herself included) the MalContents. My penname was given to me by my husband who states that I am the most content person he knows. So I find it an honor to find it a quirk off that! HA! I've said it before, I'll say it again…story isn't over.**

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

Unable to speak, I reached for Bella's hand, sliding my bracelet into it. Emmett…how… Did it really matter? I'd long determined that my brother had a bit of our Irish ancestors' magic. Everything he touched turned to gold.

My chest burned from the emotions that swamped me; they'd literally brought me to my knees when I'd spied the silver hanging out of the box that had fallen open when it hit the tiles. Inside was Bella's scarf, the one I'd wrapped around her shoulders for prom, and a few precious, scorched pictures. Bella and I in a pile of leaves we'd raked, a sequence taken in one of those photo booths…Bella's tongue sticking out at the camera…me making a funny face…the next one her kissing my cheek…the next one of us kissing each other, a couple of candids, and then one at Christmas under the mistletoe – my silver bracelet evident around my wrist. The look on our faces was of pure joy, much like now.

"Bella…my bracelet." I just couldn't help the pure enchantment that entered my voice. I had to close my eyes to breathe in, my chest tight from the disbelief and wonder.

The door slammed open, and Emmett tore into the room, just in front of Carlie. The look of horror and fear upon his face was pure devastation. It grew infinitely worse when he saw me on my knees.

"BUBBA! Dad what's wrong?" his voice was hoarse. Without even giving us a moment to answer, he went to grab me, saying "BB" at the same time. "Carlie, call 911!" He only stopped from scooping me up when I held up my hand to deter him.

To make the party complete, the rest of the family came directly afterward. I was guessing that Carlie had run through the house screaming.

"Edward!" My mother started to grow hysterical; the only thing holding her together was Samantha on her hip.

Bella took over. "He's fine. Just a little overcome with emotions. It's been an exciting day."

When even Alice and Rosalie crowded around us, she became bossy. "Carlisle! Tell them. Maybe we can just leave Emmett here…since he's the calm one."

My father's eyes jerked to her; he was still a little disoriented. Fingers to my pulse, he looked into my eyes, assessing. The pleading look must have finally won out over medical concern.

"Did you jar anything when you fell?" he asked succinctly.

"No. I promise."

I hadn't. As soon as I figured out exactly what lay half way out of the box, my knees had grown weak so I'd lowered myself to the floor quickly. The pictures and scarf had remained protected inside the package in a waterproof bag. Even if the other "presents" had distracted us, any rain wouldn't have harmed them. Emmett had planned well.

My dad looked up to see the whole family surrounding us and announced, "Yes, let's give them some privacy."

But before he left, he and Bella helped me stand. She, in turn, pressed the bracelet back into my hand before squeezing my fingers and walking to the door. She shut it after them, leaving me alone with my big brother.

"Bro…I didn't mean to set you back." Emmett paced almost frantically, his tension and remorse clear.

Thankful for the teak wood and cast iron bench my mother had placed in the small avian oasis, I moved to it. "Sit," I said softly, tapping the bench beside me. When he did as I requested, I opened my hand between us. I shook like a sapling tree in a particularly vicious storm off the Sound, but the glint of the silver was clear. "How?" It was as good as I could get out.

"The day we left Forks for good, I went up to that little camp we made for you to give BB her Christmas gift. I guess it was my way of saying goodbye to her…since I wasn't given a chance." He hadn't been; she'd never gone to him. "You were in the hospital, and Alice was a wreck. Mom and Dad were packing, attempting to get everything completed…and I don't know; I just needed to have a few moments. The sunlight hit the remains of that old bird nest, and I saw something glittery." He shrugged his broad shoulders. "Imagine my surprise."

"But you knew I went looking for it. You never mentioned anything to me about having it." I tried to keep the accusatory sound out of my voice, but I wasn't successful. "I was clean then. I wouldn't have destroyed it."

"You didn't destroy it back then. To be honest, it was the first time I had any hope…when I found it. I knew you loved her still, against everything you'd been trying to tell us." He had a wistful look on his face, as if he had a private memory he was reliving.

"I'm angry, Em, that you kept this from me, but at the same time, I'm so ecstatic that I could almost kiss you."

"Skip that kiss; I can do without it." Now his look was one of perfect heterosexual and brotherly horror.

"Why?" Why had he kept it from me?

"I don't have a desire to kiss you Bro. You're pretty and all, but…" Damn him…he wasn't going to allow me to be angry. Then I saw his serious side take over; he'd known what I was asking. "You weren't ready then. I had to make sure, Edward. It was special to BB, and I swear if I'd seen you with it and then your arm around one of those women…I'd have had to kill you."

Fury erupted from me. "I wouldn't have ever allowed someone else to touch it, Emmett!" I hissed through my teeth.

"No, I know that. But you wouldn't have been able to resist from keeping it on you…and that would've still pissed me off."

The joy of holding it in my hands made me dizzy.

"Edward!" he grabbed at me when I faltered slightly.

A sob tore out against my best efforts. "I'm okay, I swear…just overwhelmed."

"I would really prefer for you to let Dad check you out. You've probably overdone it today."

"I was doing just fine until I had to keep my lust under control…thanks to your little shenanigans."

"What?" His tone was the epitome of pure innocence. "I thought the idea of recovery was to exercise your heart."

"That wasn't exactly where the blood was flowing."

"Really?" his voice was amused.

"As if you didn't know," I snarked.

He grinned in his little boy way, before wiping the smirk off his face to look serious again. Glancing up to the heavens and seeing the occasional twinkle of a star through the cloud cover, he then looked back to me. "Bubba, I want you and BB to both be happy. I don't think that it is possible for either of you without the other. I never have. Sometimes it just happens that way. Mom and Dad found it." He seemed to struggle with what he was going to say next. "If you tell anyone I said this, I'll kill you, but I like that they can't keep their hands off each other. It gives me hope that Rosie and I'll be that spunky later in life. I knew when I saw her that she was the one. She had to fight me of course, but that just made the victory sweeter." He chuckled probably thinking of some scene between them that I didn't want to know about. "Do you remember how it was for Alice? That day she met Jasper at the hospital? She tried to fight it of course, after everything." For a moment his face looked deadly, and I realized I wouldn't want to be his enemy. "But we could tell, couldn't we?"

We could. Alice had glowed, whether she admitted it or not. It was as if she'd sparkled with a new sense of hope. The day that she'd come into the house holding Jasper's hand…I'd felt a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulder.

"You were that way with BB. The day I came home…when Alice called me to tell me what had happened…it was as if your soul had been ripped away. There was just this shell of my brother left. You learned how to adapt to some degree, I'll give you that, but I have you back now."

Bella had remained in the room, cleaning up, and she came close enough to the window to check on us. Emmett chuckled at her, knowing that she was attempting to make sure we hadn't killed one another.

"Always the little protector…" he murmured and then waved her out onto the patio to join us.

"Everything okay?" she asked softly, seeing the two of us sitting together.

"Yeah, Edward's just attempting to find the appropriate words to suck up to my greatness. It's hard on him BB. He's always had to live in my shadow."

I couldn't help the laughter that tore out of me. He was such a pompous ass at times…but he had one thing right…I could do a lot worse than end up like my brother. Bella must have thought it was funny as well, because she rolled her eyes at him and then came over to sit down, squeezing between us. Only a slight shift on my and Emmett's part and she was snugly pressed between us. She then patted both of our legs in affection.

"Two of my favorite guys," she murmured, and then picked up the box to look at the contents. "I have these same pictures at home."

I froze. We hadn't talked about it, but I'd wondered if Bella might have saved anything. She continued talking through my shock.

"A big box of them. I kept them in case it ever got to the point I would need to let Carlie know. "

"Mom would love to get a hold of that box, BB. I'm certain she'd spend a small fortune in getting copies made," Emmett carried the conversation.

"I'll let her know then. They've been in the top of my closet for years." She almost looked embarrassed. "I'm surprised I haven't brought them down yet." She took the scarf and wrapped it around her shoulders as if she was warding off the chill of the night. "Thank you for saving this, Emmett. The dress is long gone, but it is nice to have the scarf back at least." She then took the bracelet out of my hand. "I'd like to know the story about this one day."

"'kay," he mumbled, already turning a bright red at her affectionate glance.

It was then that I saw what she was doing, lifting my arm and linking the bracelet around my wrist. "Stop!" I swore out and actually jumped away from her. The look of stunned disbelief was clear in both Emmett's and Bella's stare. "What were you doing?"

"Putting your bracelet on…" she looked at me as if I'd suddenly grown two heads.

"No! Not yet. We still have a lot…"

Her growl covered up the rest of my words, and I don't believe I'd ever seen Emmett move so fast.

"Um…I think I'll take this," he said quickly unwrapping the scarf from around her. "So you don't strangle him with it."

Then, like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs, he made for the door to the house. His only indication to me of what was going on was the sound he made. It was one of a bomb whistling through the air and exploding on contact. He was indicating I'd just started a war, and seeing the furious look on Bella's face, I was suddenly sure he was right. He might as well be yelling, "Retreat!"

The door closed softly behind me, leaving me alone with my furious love.

"What the hell, Edward?"

"I…I have to earn that back like I have to earn your trust, love…" I almost said "body" as well, but she'd become even more furious as I'd spoken, so I finally wised up and shut up.

"Edward…" This time my name came out as more a growl than a caress. "Shut the hell up and sit down."

She did exactly the opposite and stood up to glare down at me when I obeyed her.

"I don't know who the hell you think you are, but I've had enough. You walked out of my life and left me by myself with our daughter in the oven. All because you think too damn much. From all your accounts, it seems that you loved me and never stopped, but you let that hyperactive brain of yours take control, and you analyzed everything to death."

"You hurt me, Edward…to the bone when you wouldn't take my phones calls or listen, and your arrogance almost destroyed me then. Had it not been for the piece of you…" our daughter, I realized and flinched "…you left behind, my destruction would have been complete. You rationalized your behavior even when your heart told you differently and look where that got you. You ended up an addict…you, who was so freaking self-conscience about doing everything right, treating your body right, being chivalrous…your smeared filth all over yourself. I don't even want to think of the other women who've touched you…been allowed that privilege." Her eyebrow arched arrogantly and pinned me to the bench. Then she huffed. "I guess I don't have a right to call you out for that in a way, because Robert and I were intimate. There isn't an inch of my skin he hasn't branded in some fashion or the other."

Fury… Possession… Primordial rage had me wanting to break something at the images her words brought up, but then dignity took over. She'd done it looking for love. I'd done the same thing…only for sex.

"You dictated what would happen then, and you're attempting to do the same thing now. You've been begging in every way form or fashion for me to just lay it out there for you…even when I've asked you to give me time…and now you're doing it again." She pivoted on her heel like a general, stalking back to stand in front of me and poke a finger to my chest. Thankfully the side where it wouldn't send me to my knees.

Fear broke through me, not because she was looking at me with disgust, but because I was afraid I'd finally pushed her too far. Starting to rise and put my hand out to her, I quickly sat back down when she all but snapped at me.

"You destroyed the Bella Swan you knew then, Edward. I shouldn't have given you that amount of control, but I did. I trusted you with everything in and about me. Even more so than my own father who begged for me to take things slow, not because he didn't adore you at the time, but because I was in way over my head. You stomped on me." She emphasized her words by stomping one of her feet to the tiles below her. "But that wasn't enough; you had to smear me before you could walk away. Yes…it was devastating, excruciatingly so. I fell apart, and then continued to fall apart over the course of several years as one after another tragedies took almost everything I held dear. There were times I hated you as much as I loved you. I hated hearing about your perfect, playboy life, and I hated that I didn't even care enough at times to think of ways to embarrass you and your family. Then I hated myself for even thinking that."

She began pacing again, leaving me to wallow in the fruits of my labor. She was decidedly entrancing in her anger, but I was more concerned about what was going on in the inside of her than the outside.

"Every time someone described how wonderful Carlie's eyes were, I saw you in my mind. I remembered the first time we made love and how green they were…how full of love and hope. Then I saw you as you were that day in the cafeteria…disgust at my pleading spilling from your eyes like tears.

"What else do you want to hear? It's getting ridiculous this continual insistence that we have to tear ourselves apart, time after time…rehashing every little thing. I can't go on if you won't let me. I'm not averse to dealing with our problems; I know we have to, but if we sit spinning our wheels, we can't get anywhere.

"You have no right to me, Edward. No right. But, I've been attempting to give myself to you freely, willingly, because I love you. But you keep doing it again, assuming you have the final say in how this will all play out. This is it! Either hang on to that damn control of yours and let it comfort you…let it keep you company as I walk out the door, or let go of it and let us have that chance together. Because this time I swear, I'll find a way to get over you. It may take years, but I will. I'll find someone who'll love me and whom I can love, and I'll build a life with him." Visions of the Robert man ran through my head…what did he look like? Did he still care for her enough that it would be easy for her to lose herself in him? Bella's justified tirade continued. "We'll remain friends…no, that would be too much…we'll remain co-parents. We'll see each other at events for Carlie, but that'll be it. I love you too much to settle."

Glorious in her righteous anger, she stood before me, her chest heaving from the strain of my chastisement. She was right…I'd been doing it again…even if I'd thought I was being respectful. Even I could see that while my behavior had still been respectful…I hadn't really consulted with her, had I?

Dangling from her fingertips was my bracelet…the thing that I'd desired almost as much as her over the years, because it'd been a symbol of her hold over and love for me. I'd been surprised actually that Emmett hadn't teased about it being some sort of collar…dominant Bella over the submissive Edward…but I was certain it was coming; he wouldn't be able to allow it to pass. The thing did hold unbelievable significance to me.

I could see that she was about to call me on my shit, just a second before she did. "Are you going to put this on or not?"

"No."

It was almost as if I could see the cracks in her face begin…the falling of the walls, and I realized again how I'd sounded. Before she could spin and flee, I stood up and grasped her arms gently, looking down into the face I loved beyond any explanation.

"No…Bella, you are. Just like you did that Christmas day." Her eyes had been wild, and I saw the moment she regained control. "Bella, will you please put my bracelet back on me?"

Brown eyes jittered across my face, assessing my emotional well-being as efficiently as my father had assessed my physical well-being just minutes before. "Sit," she finally ordered, pointing back to the bench.

"Yes, m'am," I drawled, channeling Jasper. It had the effect I wanted; the slight twitch of her lips told me so.

She straddled me, effectively sending my senses into overdrive with the one movement, and then taking my arm between us, she latched the silver band around my wrist without pomp and circumstance. The feel of it against my skin, combined with the brush of her fingertips made me shudder…completion. Her small gasp told me that she recognized her control over me at the moment. Eyes rolling back into my head, I slumped down in exhaustion and bliss when she took my lips, licking my bottom one before she bit into it softly, begging me to open. When I did, exhaustion and completion melted into all consuming passion.

Soulmate…love…everything in my arms.

Fingers clenching around her hips, I pulled her into me, to snug her to me. Softness aligned with rigidity and Bella moaned into my mouth, sweeping her tongue into mine to taste me. Not enough…it wasn't enough. Her breasts pillowed against my chest, and I could feel her nipples hard against me. When I trembled at the feel, I pressed into her, causing her to arch against me, rubbing my chest and making us both growl.

"How I want you," she said harshly, having broken from me to catch her breath. The words were said as she nipped along my jaw. "I ache…deep down inside."

The memories of being buried in her almost overwhelmed me, the feeling of heat and clinging, her body taking from mine what it needed. My hands roamed from her hips to her waist, moving her against me in a soft rhythm. But then her lips were back on mine…and they were gentle, attempting to soothe.

"I want you, but I want it to be special too," she murmured against me, claiming my every breath as her hand moved down across my chest and over my stomach.

Instinct would have me grabbing her hand, but her words of just a few moments ago had me letting go. Opening my eyes, I found her staring into them, gauging me.

"Bell…" the gasp as her hand came to the top of my jeans.

The only other sound was my cry of pleasure as her hand brushed over me through the denim. She bucked against her hand in reaction, pressing against me giving relief. The entire time I forced my gaze to remain on her. Her eyes darkened to almost black as she ran her fingertips over me, occasionally taking the time to drag over me.

My chest burned, dragging in deep ragged breaths, and she stopped long enough to lean down and claim my lips again, nibbling, teasing, licking, before sweeping in to capture my tongue with hers. Her hand never left me, so when she squeezed me tight, I cried out into her mouth. She swallowed the sound like a greedy woman, feasting on my reaction to her caresses.

The snap of my jeans and the brush of her hand over me as she unzipped them barely registered, but my hips lunged upwards seeking her, when her small hot hand touched me through the thin cotton of my boxers.

"Fuck!" I growled out, transferring one of my hands from her hips to her hair, my fingers filtering through the strands to grab the back of her hair so that I could kiss her better, harder, faster.

Barely breaking from my hard tug, she said quickly, "Lift up, Edward."

Huh?

But my body knew what she was asking. How she lowered my jeans was beyond me, but I was focused on kissing her… The world shifted though when I felt her touch me.

"Bella!" I breathed out and almost came immediately at the sinful pleasure of feeling her fingers wrap around me, her thumb brushing over me, skimming across my head.

"Do you know how long I've wanted to touch you," she whispered, circling me and pulling down my length. "I want to take you in my mouth and taste you…"

The image was too potent, too lurid, and I jolted, a gasp of pain eeking out against my best attempt. She froze and sat up slightly to look down at me. She was sin incarnate, the slant of her eyes, the blush of her lust, lips swollen and pouty. I moved restlessly against her, my cock and body screaming for relief.

"A blow job is too much right now, huh?" her voice was gritty, but curiously sad. I cried out in relief when her hand moved again, providing the friction I needed. "Like that?"

My eyes crossed at how much.

She leaned back in so that our faces were but mere inches apart. Our breaths, as I panted and she kissed me over and over mixed. "I want to see you naked, to see if my memory has served me wisely; it's killing me to not look at you right now," she taunted, providing more pressure, faster rhythm. "But you watched me last night, and I want the same. See even now, you're baring your teeth at me slightly, just like I remember. Your eyes turn goldish green before you come, did you know that? Just before you'd empty into me, they'd slant and go almost cat-like…like they're doing now."

I was about to fall apart, my hips thrusting up into her hand harshly.

"Do you feel that Edward, how you want to be in me…pushing into me like this…to feel me tighten around you?"

Her second hand joined the first, squeezing me like she would. She leaned forward at the loss of her prop, but took advantage, licking my bottom lip again and biting me softly. Her grip was almost painful it was so tight, but…oh… Her thumb brushing across me made me see stars and everything rushed between my legs to my cock...the ringing in my ears was overwhelming.

Her black eyes bored into mine. "Cum for me baby," she ordered.

Blackness swarmed before my eyes…then a blinding light as I screamed her name…pumping helplessly, mindlessly into her hands, cumming harder than I could ever remember. No energy left, I slumped back, my head lolling against the edge of the bench.

Bella collapsed against me, her wet hands at my side. I could feel her heart beating harshly, could even smell her arousal above the scent of me surrounding us. Taking several deep breaths to attempt to recover, I stirred, wanting her to fall apart like that under me. But she knew my plans probably before I even formed them.

"No," she said softly. "I wanted this, and now you're too tired. I've pushed you today, Edward. Besides, I have several inventive toys from Emmett if I can't cool down," she chuckled, the stir of air from it brushing my ears.

If she thought the visual of her with sex toys would cool my ardor, she was definitely wrong, but I couldn't dredge up enough energy to even contemplate a decent comeback.

"I love you." She pressed a kiss to just below my ear. "Thank you for giving up control. I was scared to go home without us getting to this point…where we can stop worrying about that other stuff. Let it come up when it does…but I can't stand to live in the shadows of mistakes any longer."

"Okay," I said, because there was little more to say. Sue me if I brushed over her nipple lightly as I moved. Her unsteady gasp and squirm against me was my pleasure.

"Can't I…"

"Hush," she retorted spoiling my lofty plans; I would be lucky to have enough energy to stand, clean up, and then fall into bed. "C'mon," she moved back, unstraddling me and standing up.

She kept her eyes on my face, allowing me to shakily stand and pull my jeans up.

"I'll get you a washcloth, unless you think you can manage a shower."

"Morning,"I barely grunted, wanting one, but not willing to risk falling asleep in it.

She moved to the door and then grinned. "Kinda need your help here; my hands are a little…um…messy."

I was certain my face flamed redder than a fire engine, but I moved to her side, and took her hands, wiping them against a clean section of my shirt, before opening the door for her.

Within a few seconds of her going into the bathroom, she handed out several warmed wet washcloths and a towel. Stripping quickly, I tried not to concentrate on the sounds coming from the bathroom and the visuals I could produce…washed myself off, bundled my dirtied clothes, and pulled on clean boxers.

_I'll just lay down and wait on her_, I thought, seeing the welcoming bed before me. Thank God Bella had made it up while Emmett and I spoke. Just a moment to rest, while she showers…

Bella POV

I'd been hard on him, yelling and screaming. But I was tired of the "over-protective" male thing, and I was definitely tired of the thought that we had to wait to clear everything up before we moved on. If we did that, we'd be old and grey before we knew it. Even with him…and all the lust and love between us…I wanted it all, and I wouldn't settle for less. It might kill me, but I'd walk away if I didn't think we could work it out.

Speaking of lust, the water running over my sensitive skin didn't help much, but I wasn't in the mood to use one of the intriguing vibrators Emmett had thrown in. I wanted Edward's hands on me, but I was guessing he was already passed out in the bed, so my frustration would have to wait. Sexual frustration could actually be a fun thing…letting it build until it absolutely took over and made you a slave to it. Edward's loss of control out on the patio was a good example. Watching him come apart under me was most satisfying.

Damn, to watch his face as he screamed my name had been a rush. I shuddered and realized that I needed to funnel my thoughts in other directions, or I was going to take up the offer of the stuff in that "oh…so innocent" box.

I'd needed to touch Edward mentally, physically, and emotionally before I went home. To remind us both of the absolute oneness we felt. Secretly, I questioned my sanity about separating us, but I needed a clear head to think, and the passion between us was just too strong. It clouded all reason.

Carlie and I needed to talk, to regroup and decide where this was going. Although I suspected she'd be fine with moving in today, I also knew that we had to find the "middle road"…where we stopped as the people we were before and where we began as this new entity with her dad at our side.

Toweling off was interesting, but I determinedly threw on the sleep short set and brushed my teeth and hair before cleaning my face…all the while ignoring the throbbing between my legs.

The grin that crossed my face when I entered the bedroom and saw Edward face down and passed out in bed was to be expected. Poor man…I'd literally worn him out. I worried a little about how I would get him off his stomach, knowing that it would pain him in the morning to have slept on his chest. But I shouldn't have, because the minute I laid down in bed beside him, he turned, putting his arms around me and drawing me into his embrace.

Even unconscious, his body knew instinctually where I needed to be…my hand protecting his heart.

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><p><strong>Thoughts?<strong>

**No outtake this week. It is the last week of school and my kiddos are busy (ie…I'm busy). I'm working on Demetri and Elizabeth…you'll see. If you didn't get Samantha, let me know. **


	49. SOMP Outtake Alice

**Just an FYI that I'm currently working on the next chapter of Sins. I'm a little behind; I'm sorry! I was threatened by my betas to get chapters done in my other two (vamp) stories and had to obey. In the spirit of weekly posting, I'm submitting the below outtakes, since some readers haven't received them.**

**There is a new one at the bottom…short but sweet…but very important to the plot of the story.**

**I've been asked about outtakes and why I put stuff within them that is important to the story when some may not get them. In actuality, I've included everything from the outtakes in the story so far…just not in as much detail. I'll continue to do so for those readers that don't want to read POVs other than Edward, Carlie, and Bella.**

**I still hope to have a chapter up this evening, but my kiddos are harassing me to go swimming in our lake…**

**Please know these outtakes are unbetaed, so I ask forgiveness for any grammar errors.**

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><p><strong>Alice Outtake – From Chapter 47 Need<strong>

Something tightened around my throat, and almost instinctually, I reached up to encounter the strong muscled hand that was crushing my windpipe.

"Bitch! Did you really think I would let you kill me? I'm too smart for that…"

I began struggling, kicking, and just as the cover flew off my legs, I woke up. Deep breaths… Oh God, another nightmare. They could seem so real at times.

"No, Bitch! This is for real!" The hoarse voice cursed at me, grabbing me from behind again. "I want you to watch just how real this is."

A gun appeared to my side, and I saw the muzzle flare and screamed knowing what I would find when I turned. Blood spattered away from Jasper's head and across the pillowcase, he'd never even had the chance.

"Shut up or those whelps of yours will die knowing it, instead of in their sleep. And then, you and I are going somewhere private, so that I can enjoy you before I put a bullet in your head."

The shock of seeing my husband murdered held me still for the barest of moments before I began fighting. The monster fell on top of me, and I felt satisfaction that I tore into his flesh with my fingernails. Determined to either beat him or die trying, I began fighting with every instinct that my soul mate…my dead soul mate…had taught me."

"Alice!" he screamed at me as I dug in attempting to rip his flesh from his bones. I was certain that I was bloodthirsty enough, and that if allowed, I would have drunk his blood in celebration.

"Alice!" he called again, I could tell that he wanted me to stop struggling, but I wouldn't. He'd killed Jasper and he would be going after Jas and Alistair.

"For the love of God, Alice! Wake up!" I heard Jasper's voice calling. It couldn't be. I looked over and saw the blood staining the pillow beside me. "Baby, please. Wake up."

And just like that I came out from under the dream that'd contained a nightmare within a nightmare. Jasper hovered over me, his blue eyes desperate. Sucking in lungs full of air, I felt my heart hammering against my chest and the sweat trickling down my spine.

"Bad one," I said softly, barely able to speak at all.

"I'd say." It was then I saw the blood drop from his neck onto me, and I froze fully expecting to find I was still in the horror, and that Jasper's face would morph into the demon again.

He saw my panic at the sight and smell of the blood, and I bet he knew my fear that he would turn into a monster at it.

"You got me good, Baby. I'm going to need a couple of Jasmine's princess Band-Aids." He was attempting to lighten the mood by being funny. When he leaned up, I saw the scratches littering his chest. Several had tiny pinpricks of blood welling here and there.

"OH GOD!" I started to panic, but he shushed me.

"Alice, it was instinctual. I should have known better than to grab your arms, but I was just afraid you were going to hurt yourself."

A sob shifted out of my chest. "It was horrible. I was dreaming that I was dreaming. He was there…he killed you." My hands went to my throat, where it was as if I could still feel his hands clenching.

"You're safe. I was afraid you'd have bad dreams with Edward coming home. It is just a reminder of how much we almost lost. Do you think if I get you some tea that you'll be able to go back to sleep?" he asked gently.

I shook my head vigorously and then dove at him, pressing my lips to his. By the time I was through worshiping him, I'd kissed each wound I'd inflicted, and in turn, he'd wrung me limp from the heights he'd taken me. But I couldn't sleep, so I softly moved out of bed when he fell under the spell. I didn't feel settled until I had the paint brush in my hand, the large canvas I was working on before me. I was still fussing over Bella's eyes, unable to get them just right yet. There was so much more to the color than just brown. As I worked to highlight the goodness in my old friend, the darkness that I sometimes felt surrounded me faded.

And my brush stroked over the area, my mind wandered over crucial events from the last years. I'd been the one to really convince Edward of Bella's guilt, not Tanya. She'd been brilliant about feeding us all the right information to make us doubt, but it'd been me that'd finally broken him. The insecurities from the attack and nightmares had just been too strong, and I'd doubted that Bella could love me the way she'd professed. It was so much simpler to believe that I'd meant nothing to her and that she'd been playing me.

Now a woman grown, I could see how stupid I'd been, but as a girl, my ability to make rational decisions had been seriously flavored by what I'd been through.

"_Edward, she played us. We meant nothing to her." _

The look of defeat that stole upon his face at my words still haunted me. It was as if I could see the light in him die, the slow shuttering of his eyes that heralded in the "dead look" he'd assumed for so long. He'd been fighting it, fighting the filth Tanya attempted to convince us of, but my words had been the death knoll. Something shattered inside Edward at that moment, and the pieces had never come back together…until now.

When they'd walked through the door of the house, Bella supporting Edward, his arm around her shoulders, I'd wanted to cry. He looked years younger, even if he was still gaunt from the surgery and injury. His smiles as we teased him over lunch reached his eyes, and he'd actually given back as good as he got. I didn't know Bella well enough anymore to know if the peace on her face was normal or not, but I hoped at least part had to do with my brother. I had much to atone for…things I'd tried to tell her that day at the hospital, but hopefully she would afford me the time.

The painting I was drawing was my first attempt at apology to her, but it was also my therapy and preparation. If she turned away from me in disgust and loathing, which would be her right, I would at least have this picture etched in my brain to remember.

Adding a dab of gold to her eyes, I realized that it'd been what I'd been missing all along, the thing that had been bothering me. It just made her look…right. I stepped back to take in the full effect.

YES!

It'd made her come alive on the canvas, the mischief she tried hard to hide wrapping around her like a blanket. I'd drawn her first, allowing her to materialize before me before considering what scene to place her in. Rose had pointed out the obvious. Bella would be amidst a plethora of red-inked papers, a library of books in the background.

I hoped she would see what I was trying to say…that I was proud of what she'd been able to accomplish and that she'd stayed true to herself…and that I was sorry.

For it wasn't the hands of the man that destroyed my innocence that'd surrounded my throat in my nightmare but my own. Although I wouldn't argue that he'd become synonymous with what'd happened in my brain, I was aware enough to define them clearly…the boy and my own actions. It had been my own short-sightedness, my inability to see through a murky cloud to the future that'd caused my family the difficulties of losing Bella and foregoing the pleasure of Carlie's younger life. It was a mistake I had to rectify, including telling Bella that I'd been the one to turn Edward against her.

I just hoped that her heart was still as big as I remembered…

**Carlisle POV Outtake from Prisons and Jailbirds – Mother's Day outtake**

"Esme?"

She leant against the railing, looking out over the water. As still as a statue, the only thing that moved was the strands of her hair, teased by the winds coming up from the ocean. Tanya's memorial service had been hard for us both.

"_Eleazar, I'm finding it difficult to know what to say."_

"_Your presence here says more than words ever could. Edward called as well. It's good to hear that he is recovering…good boy you've raised. I spoiled her, Carlisle. Who knows what resides in the heart of others. We can only provide what we feel is right at the time."_

It'd been difficult to not think about how we could've been the ones hosting an eloquent farewell.

"Darling…" I murmured against her neck, wrapping my arms around her. She shivered, from the cool air or the feel of my lips against her, I wasn't certain.

"Am I a good mother?"

"What?"

She turned to face me then, and I wanted to shout at the agony on her face. "Carlisle, am I a good mother? I failed Edward, Alice…who knows what hidden scars Emmett hides…"

It was hard not to curse…it'd been years since she'd asked me this question. Years since her sense of self-doubt had raised its head.

Skimming my hand down her arm, I linked my fingers with hers and pulled her back into the house, wiping the tears from her face.

"Sit here," I directed, patting my hand on the thickly cushioned sofa.

"Don't leave," she begged as soon as I started to step away.

"I'll be right back."

Moving to the small refrigerator, I pulled out a fine white wine, pouring us both glasses before placing them on the table beside her. Then, I went to our walk-in closet to get the heavy trunk she kept there. Either she'd added more since the last time I moved it, or I was just getting old. A combination of both, I determined. She was always adding things to her treasure chest and the years were definitely creeping up on me.

She held the glass gently, barely sipping the wine when I came through the door. A ghost of a smile played across her face when she saw what I was carrying.

"Carlisle, you're going to throw your back out carrying that old thing," she said.

"This 'old thing' carries the story of the Cullens. A couple of sore muscles are worth it." Sitting it down in front of her, I breathed a little easier. Already I saw a little less grief. Nothing could withstand the magic contained within the seemingly innocent chest.

Sitting down beside it, I lifted the top and pulled piece after piece out, until the floor around us was literally covered in bright colors, globs of finger fashioned clay, glued ribbons, and every imaginable creature or animal that could be fashioned of hand prints.

"2 maMa. Edwd." The letters were fashioned over a makeshift heart. The paper lace had been meticulously repaired over the years. I moved it into her hands.

The next was a brown hand made into a turkey. Alice had topped each fingertip with paper cut in the shape of a pilgrim's hat. "Sweet" "Pretty" "Kind" "Neat" "Good cook" lined the fingers. On the palm of the hand, or the belly of the turkey…whichever way you took it…were the words: What I'm grateful for. In big bold letters beside them was "Mama."

Before she could even brush away the tears, I handed her one of Emmett's creations. It was a supposed to be a bear, and with a little imagination you could see the representation. "Mama Bear" had been etched into the clay with what was most likely a toothpick. On the bottom was Emmett's name…misspelled. It was but mere blobs stuck together, but to the woman that held it gently in her hands, it was more precious than anything Michelangelo could've created.

Multitudes of cards covered a great deal of space around me. It wasn't necessary to even glance at them to determine a specific one. The messages were all the same and just as powerful. By happenstance, I'd chosen one of Edward's.

"Mama,

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I love you so much,

Do I have to go to school? Edward"

She burst out laughing when she saw it. "He really didn't like school then, did he? God forbid I'd tried home school. The women that do that…they have my utmost respect." She continued to chuckle as she looked at the pictures he'd put on it…various stages of him begging.

A bag harbored all the teeth the tooth fairy had secreted away. Why she'd kept them I'd never know, but they were here.

Memento after memento I laid before her, highlighting the story of our family, the tale of the life she'd created for us. There were creations from every season, every holiday…Valentine's Day, Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Birthdays, Mother's day. I didn't discount my contributions, but she was the mother, the heart of our family, the being that pumped the blood through us keeping us alive when it would have been easy to fail.

I filled her glass again when it was empty and watched as she moved her fingers across the many creations, grinning at the stick figures, the snaggle-toothed pictures, the indistinguishable masterpieces. Finally, she smiled, and the band that had tightened around my chest upon seeing her on the patio loosened.

"I felt so helpless facing Carmen," she admitted, skimming her finger over a paper elf with Alice's picture as the face. That particular creation came out for the Christmas tree every year. "What could I say to make it better?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"He played today."

"Pardon?"

"Edward…he played the piano for Bella, and then Carlie joined in and it was pure magic."

"Oh!" The rush of joy burned a trail through me.

"It was difficult to witness Carmen's despair, while all the while being so full of happiness for what I was given today.

"The contrast of life and death, of joy and despair, is never easy." I'd seen it a multitude of times. Survivor guilt. I'd experienced it in buckets over the past years. When I'd found out about Tanya, I'd drowned in it again. There really was no logical explanation as to why one had been saved and one had been lost.

"Are you uncertain? About Samantha?"

"NO!" Her face twisted slightly. "Yes. Being a mother is as much a part of me as the color of my hair, but I want her to have the best, and it is easy to question if I'm the one for her."

"So being a mother means you have to be perfect?" I saw the answer she wanted to say, and then she tempered it.

"I want to be perfect, to never fail them."

"But we will; it's inevitable. What happened with Alice and Edward was out of our control."

"But Bella wasn't."

"No, in that you are correct." Our greatest failure as parents.

"I don't want to hurt another person like that ever."

"Then we won't allow ourselves to fail like that again. Every parent makes mistakes, Esme. It's how you pick yourself up and dust yourself off that is the true measure of worth."

"Carlisle, are you ready to be a father again?"

I couldn't help the smile that flooded my face.

She shook her head at me and giggled. "You'll have to be more secretive about your…um passion."

"I well remember how we had to plan and contrive."

"I'm not sure that I can manage the meeting in the closets anymore."

"We have larger ones now, My Dear. Have you not noticed that many of them have built in benches?"

She snickered.

"We're too old."

"Age is only a number, baby."

She fluttered her hand at me, and it was then I saw the smirk. "You devious little thing…" She'd been hitting all the things that would've originally worried me…making me address my own issues.

"You helped convince me," she said, laying her hands on the next card to pick up and read. "I was just repaying the kindness."

Gently moving the items out of the way, I clinked my glass to hers. "Touche'" Tipping back the glass and drinking down the wine, I moved to my knees, placing my lips at the curve of her throat.

"To parenthood," I murmured before moving my hands to the buttons of her blouse.

**Samantha POV Outtake – Prisons and Jailbirds (Yes, I allowed myself to name the social worker after me…that is my right for being one for over twenty years…snicker).**

"Samantha, there's someone here to see you," Nurse Angie told me.

She was packing my bag. I was going away. Dr. Edward wasn't here. My tummy hurt bad.

Ms. April, my social worker, walked in and my eyes hurt. She grabbed tissue to wipe at my face.

"_You don't deserve a present! Presents are for good girls!"_ Smack... I'd been bad.

Dr. Edward had lied.

"Samantha, why are you crying?" Ms. April asked softly. "The doctor has okayed you to go home."

"I don't got no home!" Then I really cried, didn't hear the people coming in either.

Then, I saw her. Dr. Edward's mama. His daddy too…God. Dr. Edward was an angel, so if Dr. Cullen was his daddy…he was God. He looked as beautiful as God.

So that made his mama…Mary? Wasn't that God's wife?

"Samantha…" Mary touched my hand. When did she sit in the floor? "We have a home. We'd like for you to share it with us." She looked to God and smiled. She was really really pretty.

Ms. April sat in a chair beside me. "Dr. and Mrs. Cullen want to be your foster parents."

"Doctor Cullen…"

"Carlisle," he said in a nice voice. "This is my wife, Esme."

I guess God and Mary had other names on Earth.

~SOMP~

"Does Cinderella live here?" It was a castle like the one in the movies the nurses brought me to watch.

I hadn't talked on the way, being quiet…like He'd told me.

"No, not Cinderella, but all my girls are princesses," Carlisle told me.

Esme smiled over at me and squeezed my hand. She'd wanted to sit by me. She was silly, but when she'd buckled me in to what she said was a "car seat," I'd gotten scared.

"_For your safety."_ Why? I'd ridden in His car without anything.

"We have other children. Alice is married to Jasper and they have two children, Alistair and Jasmine. Emmett and Rosalie also have two children, Emaline and Ross. They're your age."

They wouldn't like me.

It was hard to walk with the crutches, and I was afraid I'd break something. It was so pretty in the house. But then I saw Dr. Edward and Bella. "HEY!"

~SOMP~

It was a castle; I didn't belong here. I was ashamed and clutched the bear that Emmie had given me. Maybe I could keep it when they decided that they didn't want me. "So, I'm going to get to live here?

"Yes, Mom and Dad are foster parents, and you've been placed with them by the social worker." Dr. Edward was so nice.

"Forever?"

"We're working on it," God said and my heart beat hard, my tummy doing happy summersaults.

"Where do you live?" Doctor Edward had told me that he wouldn't forget me.

"Here for now."

"So we'll be together!" Carlie was beautiful. I wanted her to be my sister…Emmy, Ross, Jasmine, and Alistair too.

She smiled at me. "When Daddy gets his house built."

~SOMP~

The popcorn smelled so good. I reached for juice, but I hadn't asked, and jerked my hand back before I got hit.

"_Ungrateful bitch…You'll eat when I tell you to." _

I waited for the blow, but Carlie put a bowl of popcorn beside me and told me to eat it. When she handed me juice, I started crying.

"_Do you think that crying is going to make me like you? Not even your mother loved you…left you with me. One day you'll pay me back."_ His eyes would always go weird when he said that.

I tried to stop the tears, afraid they'd make them yell like he had.

_Hide_, my insides said.

Then Dr. Cullen came toward us.

"Poppa, I was thinking that Sam 2 and I could sleep together tonight. Aunt Alice and Meme will need to take her shopping to decorate her new room."

Poppa…Meme. I liked those names.

My room? I'd have my own room with a bed?

~SOMP~

"Samantha?"

I made myself small. The closet was big, so I'd crawled all the way to the back. Hide… I was sorry. I hadn't meant to make her drop the plate.

"Samantha, Sweetheart, will you please come out of the closet? Esme isn't mad. I've broken a dozen of them, and she still loves me."

Don't love me.

"You'll learn that she has a big heart. She's more upset that you were so frightened. You surprised her, calling her Meme."

"Sorry!" It was a squeak. I stuffed my hand in my mouth. _Be quiet! _

"She liked it. I'd like for you to call me Poppa…if you feel comfortable with it. Carlie told us that she told you she calls us that."

Yes…Carlie had said it as we giggled last night.

Trick? Why would they want me?

"Carlie suggested that we camp out in the living room tonight. Emmie is bringing her tea set, and Esme is making cookies. I'd love for you to join me, but if you feel more comfortable sleeping in here tonight, I'd understand."

My room or at least they'd said.

"Esme's cookies are, in my opinion, the best in the world. Especially the chocolate chip cookie ones. Would you like to come join me?"

My tummy grumbled. I'd eaten three times a day at the hospital. I didn't know you were supposed to. But Meme's food was much better, and the big guy, Emmett, he'd kept daring me to eat. The other one…the one that was so pretty, he'd told Emmett to stop and then sat beside me. I liked his voice and the way he talked. He made me feel safe. Everyone here made me feel good.

"Poppa?" Had he left?

"Yes." His voice sounded strange…like he was crying. Men didn't cry, they yelled. But he was Dr. Edward's daddy, so maybe he was different.

"I sorry."

"You don't have to be. I understand about being scared; I'm afraid that you won't be happy here."

NO! I crawled to the door and cracked it open. He sat on the floor, leaning against the bed where Carlie and I'd slept.

"I like it here."

He glanced up at me and smiled. "Good, because we like you being here."

He looked up in the opposite direction, and I scooted back. Meme came in and sat beside him.

In her hands were a plate of cookies and a glass of milk. My tummy grumbled again.

"Edward hid in a closet once," she said and then looked to Poppa and laughed.

Poppa grinned and brushed Meme's hair back from her shoulder. "I'd forgotten about that. Cut Alice's hair when he was seven."

Meme looked toward me. Could she see me through the crack? "She told him he could have her hair for a mask he was making. I screamed when I saw her."

She loved Dr. Edward…and she'd screamed at him? But she didn't hit him…she hadn't hit me.

"I had to sit outside his closet for hours to get him to come out, so I could tell him I was sorry."

"I sorry."

"Precious girl, you don't have any reason to be. I'm sorry I dropped that plate and scared you. My hands get slippery sometimes when good things happen. I have tons of dishes, but only one of you. Besides, I need your help tomorrow setting up the party. We're inviting some friends over to meet you. And Carlisle needs your help with the tea party and sleep over tonight. We haven't had a little girl in the house for awhile, and we're going to need your help."

"Silly…you have Emmy and Jasmine." Pretty, unlike me with my red hair and green eyes.

Poppa chuckled at what I said. "She's smart, Esme. Reminds me of you."

"But they don't like my chocolate chip cookies. I guess you'll just have to eat these, Carlisle." She put the plate between them.

My tummy won, and I opened the door to crawl out. Poppa picked up the plate and put it in front of where I sat. Meme handed me the glass.

"Now…just what would you like to do at this tea party tonight?" Poppa asked.

~SOMP~

The house was so quiet and big that I was scared. Monsters were in the corners, their red eyes staring at me like they wanted to eat me. Everyone was asleep. Something scratched at the window, and a sob came out of me.

"Samantha, are you okay?" Poppa said from behind me.

"Scared. Bad man outside."

"Would you feel more comfortable sleeping closer to me? I can put my arm around you."

Like the Hungry Caterpillar from the book Carlie had read me, I scooted to him. It only felt strange for a minute when I felt his arm go around me. The only time He'd touched me was to hit me.

"Go to sleep Little One. You're safe here."

Safe…

In my dreams, I belonged with them, happy and smiling.

**Victoria POV (No, I hadn't forgotten her and the job that Aro sent her on.)**

Placing the paper on the table next to the remains of my breakfast, I glanced outside to the breaking dawn.

Tanya Denali Martling was dead.

I wasn't surprised. What had she thought would happen when she went against Aro? Did she really think she wouldn't face his wrath? He was an exacting man…distributing his own form of justice…but not without just cause, at least in his mind.

Perhaps the real answer was she'd just been stupid. She must have been, all she'd had to do was leave them alone, go on about her life. And it was a good life. I'd gotten an eyeful of her husband as I tracked him. Handsome man…good stock…one anyone would be happy to have sharing their lives and bed. She was greedy, had been for her entire life it would seem.

But some would say it came naturally.

I wasn't a proponent of the phrase "blood always tells," believing that nurture could defeat nature when done properly. From all accounts, Mrs. Martling had been given everything necessary to make a child, much less an adopted one, happy. Perhaps the father had spoiled her too much, but I'd seen worse. She'd chosen her pathway in life, much like her brother.

My trip to Forks and the Quileute reservation had revealed nothing more than the protection of a proud people and the youthful infatuation of one of them with Isabella Swan.

The lack of explanations had haunted me.

Some would say that I was relentless or maniacal in my determination to see things to an end. I preferred to think of myself as thorough, wanting to put an end to things that disturbed me before I walked away. Tanya disturbed me…had since her name had come up in talking to several of the long time residents of Forks and then Seattle.

Talk about irony and how the circle of life was smaller than most people would like to imagine.

It'd been with trepidation that I'd handed Aro Velathri my report. For the incident at the music recital had already been blown out of proportion by the news media. To say the least, it'd been a media feeding frenzy.

Adoption records were sealed, but only when a person didn't know what they were doing. I knew what I was doing. It wasn't a proud statement, just an accurate assessment of my sense of self.

Tanya Denali Martling…an unwanted child of a society affair…the husband of the neurotic mother had been intolerant of raising someone else's bastard. As intractable as her biological mother, Tanya had been incapable of letting "it go" as I was certain Aro had previously warned; she had been incapable of it.

Talk about poetic justice coming to life…Alice Cullen, the woman…the child…Tanya had duped, had killed her brother.


	50. Father Knows Best

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**Because of my slackness, this chapter is coming to you unbetaed, so please excuse any errors. But as always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who generally pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness.**

**Just a quick chapter. I originally planned for this to be the cookout, but the need for a short and sweet interlude hit me, and I wanted to make good on my promise to post today after missing yesterday!**

**Hope you enjoy. And to my readers in the States, Happy Memorial Day! I come from a long line of service men and women, and my brother and niece are currently serving. Thanks to those of you who may be veterans/service men or women...your sacrifice doesn't go unseen or unappreciated!**

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

"Good Morning," Carlisle greeted me cheerily as I stepped into the kitchen.

He was already dressed in well-worn jeans and a Beatle's t-shirt. Nursing a cup of coffee, he must've seen my envious glance and rose.

"Sit down and allow me to get you a cup of coffee. Are you ready for breakfast? Esme made quiche last night so that she didn't have to cook this morning."

When my stomach growled at the thought, he smiled softly, setting the steaming cup of hot java in front of me and then moving to the warmer. A plate of quiche and a bowl of fresh fruit followed immediately afterward.

"Thank you!" I mumbled already saying a quick prayer.

"It's going to be a busy day," he said in conversation. "I need to get the ribs on soon; they're better when they slow cook. I also need to get busy mixing up the sauce, although that's usually Edward's job. Jasper is always trying to steal the secret recipe, so I have to do it early before he starts snooping around." When I raised my eyebrow at the idea that Carlisle would refuse his son-in-law something, he chuckled. "It's my way to harass him."

Even with a bite of the most delicious ham and egg quiche I'd ever tasted in my mouth, the promise of ribs still had my mouth watering. "Well, I won't try to steal the secret, but if you need help preparing anything, let me know. I don't mind helping, and I'm fairly good in the kitchen. Edward is sound asleep, and I highly doubt he'll be getting up anytime soon. I woke him up at six to take his medication, but he was out again within a second."

It had been difficult leaving him…the bed had been so warm and his arms so comforting. It'd been seductive, enticing…and it was the last morning I would wake up with him. For a moment, I hadn't wanted the real world to interfere or trespass. I certainly didn't want to admit to his father that I'd literally worn his son out the night before. But then looking up to see Carlisle's small smile, I wondered if he knew anyway. I tried not to blush, I really did, but biology was a bitch. He chuckled, clearing his throat for a second when he saw my reaction. Luckily, he took pity on me.

"Bella, I wouldn't mind examining your eyes and giving you a quick exam before you go. Your headaches are gone, correct?"

How did he know? My guilt must have shown, and I wanted to curse my tale-tell face again.

"You needed to rest; that was the key," he continued at least not calling me out directly on what I'd tried to hide. "Will you promise me that when you go home this evening you'll attempt to get at least eight hours of sleep a night?"

His tone was curious. I could hear the doctor in it, but somehow there was more. It was concern, and it put up my defenses. "I'm not going home to punish him or anything…" I felt guilty as soon as I saw his reaction. I'd been way off.

"I know. It's important that you get some distance. I respect you for that." He stood and went over to the coffee pot, coming back to refill both of our cups before sitting down again. "Esme left me once," he announced out of the blue.

I gasped…No way!

He grinned at the shocked look on my face, but then continued, "I deserved it. We'd been married about a year, and I'd made the mistake of taking her for granted. I was so busy at work, between the hospital and the business, and when I came home all I wanted to do was…well, you know." He grinned and for a moment the shock of seeing just how much Edward looked like him rendered me speechless. Well…the man was a god, DILF, so there could be worse things to happen in life than have his son age like him. "I have to admit, Esme tried to talk with me, but I was…a little focused on things other than 'talking.'"

I laughed because it was his time to blush now. He smirked and shook his head slightly at me.

"I came home one night, and she was gone. At first I thought she'd just run to the store or something, but then I found the note. Shook me up, and I can tell you that I was willing to do anything to get her to come back. I wasn't complete without her." His eyes had taken on a distant look for a moment, but then he refocused on me. "Esme is the smartest individual I know. We needed the time to regroup. Our courtship had been so encompassing, our marriage so quick, that we'd really been overwhelmed by the emotions of it all. She made us really think and come to some agreements. When she finally came home, it was the best day of my life. Emmett was born, almost to the date, forty weeks later."

I snickered, but then the words tore out of me, "So you don't think I'm crazy?"

"No." His tone was very understanding. "But like me, I don't think either of you is going to rest away from each other, so as your doctor, I'm going to give you a slight sleeping aide. You are intelligent, Bella, frightfully so. Use it to ensure a good night's rest, take care of yourself both emotionally and physically, and eat well, those are my only requests."

I cracked a smile. "Are those orders, doctor?"

He sniffed in a perfectly efficient way. "Yes, of course!"

He and I both laughed at the pompous answer, but then he drummed his fingertips on the table. It was a nervous habit, and I thought that perhaps he was attempting to find a way to say something. I was right.

"We've haven't spoken about what happen, Bella." He scanned my face for my reaction. "You know I'm infinitely sorry. If I'd just approached you one of those times instead of turning away like a coward…maybe we…I don't know…I just can't help but think of the agony I could have spared you, Carlie, and Edward. I should've followed my gut instinct, and I didn't. So, that is why I'm supporting you in following yours. I trust you to use your time apart wisely. Like Esme, you are so much smarter than us humble Cullen men."

"Ha!" The humor barked out of me.

"Words mean little in this situation between us, but I promise you won't find my actions lacking again, Bella. Anything you need, anything at all, you'll get it from me and Esme. Even if you decide that you and Edward won't suit, you are still family. Thank you for Carlie, by the way. You've done an amazing job raising her, and there is no finer gift you could've given us even though we don't deserve her or you."

I reached over to pat his hand in answer. I didn't know what to say, but the contact seemed enough. In reaction, he nudged my plate with his hand, reminding me to eat…just like a doctor…or father. When I finished, he rose, stretching, and then went to the industrial sized refrigerator to pull out package after package of fresh herbs.

"Now…about these mad culinary skills you touted…"

Cooking… That was something I could definitely bond with Carlisle over.

~SOMP~

A ringing of the doorbell several hours later interrupted our watch over the large grills, Carlisle having borrowed Emmett's and Jasper's. Esme had fluttered around us during the time, throwing tinfoil wrapped packages of vegetables into whatever available space there was and bringing us drinks. The aromas were amazing and had already drawn both Emmett and Jasper.

"_Bella, Sweetheart, you and I need to speak later," _Jasper had teased, raising his eyes at Carlisle in challenge.

Without even taking his eyes off the task at hand, the elder Cullen had responded, _"She's been sworn to secrecy." _

But the newest additions to the melee were Felix, Jane, and Demetri, their arms full of boxes.

"Esme told Mom that we could take care of dessert, so she, Aunt Cia, and Aunt Dora spent yesterday cooking. We've got Tiramisù, Cassata Siciliana, Panna Cotta, and some Tartufo di Pizzo," Demetri mumbled from behind the package that partially obscured his face.

"Frig is open for whatever needs to be kept cool. But, what did they do, cook for an army?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Um…Isabella, you've seen the destruction we can leave in our wake. Add into it the Cullen men…we are amassing an army," Jane chuckled out, helping take some of the packages from Felix. She stole a quick kiss from him when his arms were finally empty before turning to me. "Where are the kids?" she asked eagerly, the three of them having followed me back out to where Carlisle was putting another coat of sauce on one of the loads of ribs.

Jane had an affinity for children and them for her. As tiny as she was, it was often easy to mistake her for one. I was certain many career criminals had thought the same and been shocked to have her take them out.

"Carlie has them all watching a movie. Seth and Samantha will be here soon; Jake called just a few minutes ago to say they were on the way."

"Cool. I'm going to find them and see what trouble I can get into," she responded.

Felix watched her with hungry eyes as she left us, bound for the laughter that'd erupted from inside the house. Catching my look, he chuckled at my knowing look.

"She's got me whipped, Isabella. Totally."

"First child," I reminded him…earning a roll of eyes.

"Ok, ok, but I'll need to practice a lot first."

Demetri grunted, but it suspiciously sounded like he was attempting to hide a gagging sound.

"What were Emmett and Jasper doing outside?" Felix asked, ignoring his strangling best friend.

"They were talking about challenging you to a football game after lunch. I believe that they were actually mapping out a temporary field."

"Really…" Demetri drawled, his eyes glittering dangerously. "Felix, I do believe that our services may be needed. Carlisle, if you'll excuse us?"

"Certainly."

Demetri stopped beside me. "Beautiful, where's your man?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Still sleeping, I would guess. As a matter of fact, I probably need to go wake him. He'll want to be up when everyone else arrives."

"Well, you'd better hurry, because the rest of our cult will be here soon," he snickered. But before I could react, he and Felix left, heading toward the front of the house where I knew Emmett and Jasper were strategizing.

"Carlisle, I'm going to go wake up Sleeping Beauty."

"Okay. The ribs are at a point where I can leave them undisturbed. Since Samantha is with Carlie, I think I'll go find Esme and harass her." He waggled his eyebrows at me and then slinked into the house as elegantly as any cat stalking its prey.

I couldn't help but laugh. Emmett and Edward were definitely his sons.

Opening the door to the bedroom, I tried to be quiet on the chance that he was still asleep. Arms wrapped around my pillow, his nose buried into the fabric, Edward slumbered peacefully. It was good to notice that dark shadows that had previously haunted his eyes were gone. I couldn't help the lurch in my heart when I considered the fact that leaving him might cause them to resurface. Having to buckle down on the traitorous reaction, I gathered up my determination. Carlisle's story helped, knowing that sometimes a little pain was necessary.

He'd twisted out of the sheets, so I was able to ogle him without distraction. The strong muscles of his shoulder and arm intrigued me; his light skin showing them to perfection, but the line of his back…broad tapering down to narrower hips…fascinated me. He'd been thinner as a teenager, just hinting at the man he'd become. His legs, dusted in light copper colored hair, were lean, but the strength was there in the corded muscles that still stood out even in rest. It was a sad fact that even his feet were beautiful, but the still red gash across his foot, compliments of the wound he'd acquired getting me to help, reminded me that this wasn't some mythical creature or god laying in the bed. No…looking to the healing wound on his side, results of the chest tube…I was faced with the fact that the creature laying before me was a fragile human, one I'd almost lost.

In mischief, I placed my fingertip at the top of his spine and slowly, lightly traced down his back, stopping just above the waist band of his boxers. His moan and roughly muttered "Bella" did my heart and ego good. I couldn't say that I was entirely over the others that had touched him, particularly Tanya. It was probably one of the biggest things I needed to settle for myself and then speak to him about. Shaking free of the doubt the thoughts caused me, I smirked…well, it wasn't their hands touching him now, their names he muttered unconsciously. And assuming that Tanya's irrational and revealing rant at Carlie's recital was true, he'd always called out for me when his defenses were down…when he was most vulnerable.

Thank goodness the others couldn't see my satisfied smirk.

But enough ogling, he needed to wake up and face the day. Leaning over, I brushed a lock of unruly hair away from his face and called his name out softly. In reaction, his fingers flexed into my pillow as if he was fighting against anyone taking it from him.

"Edward, it's time to get up," I said a little louder.

"Mmm…"

I tried his name a few more times, feathering my fingers across his face and neck. He was as hard to wake up as Carlie. It was time to get tough.

"Baby, you have to start moving, or I'll sic Emmett or Jasper on you."

A soft growl was his reaction to my threat. A muscle in his cheek twitched as well. Then he settled down again.

"Edw…" My word ended in a squeak as the next thing I knew I was flat on my back, his body hovering over me.

"Threaten me, will you," he chuckled. It was ridiculous…he didn't even wake up with morning breath.

Heat…body pressed to mine…green sleepy eyes and a crooked mouth…hair tousled…a pillow crease still in his cheek… DANGER! Or heaven… Which one was it? Who cared?

Threading my fingers through his hair, I jerked him down to give him a searing kiss. Then I heard a real growl as he pressed me into the bed and took over. Just as I thought I'd die from the pleasure of it, he pulled back.

I wanted to punch him then, so cocky was his grin.

"Just how long have you been awake?" I asked in an affronted tone. I couldn't help that my fingers traced across his chest, feeling the muscles twitch against them and the ridges of scar tissue just scant inches from his heart.

He chuckled at what was most likely a peevish look on my face. "As if I could sleep through the feel of your fingers on my skin. What time is it?" He moved to his good side, propping on an elbow so that one of his hands was free. He used it to brush my hair off my forehead and then yawned broadly.

"About eleven."

"What?" he gasped out and then turned over to look out the window. "Why did you let me sleep so late? I have to help dad with the ribs." He made as if to get up, but my hand on his arm stopped him.

"I've already taken care of it. At this moment in time, your father is harassing your mother. I'm sure you don't want to walk in on that." I arched my eyes at him and then attempted to reproduce Carlisle's waggled eyebrows.

He burst out in laughter and then moved so that he leaned over me again. "No, that's Emmett's job. He's always catching them in positions that give him nightmares."

Brushing his fingertips over my face as if to memorize it, he remained quiet, and the silence wasn't awkward, just peaceful. The realization that this would be our last morning together made it poignant. The way his hands worshiped me felt as far from sexual as you could get…respectful, reverent, and intimate seemed more accurate descriptions.

"I love you, Bella Swan. Don't ever forget that." The words were full of hurt, love, hope, and pain.

I cried out, throwing up my hands to cradle his face. "Wait! What's this?" I patted at him. "This isn't goodbye!"

"I know, but you're taking my heart with you when you leave this evening, and just in case you don't understand the pathetic fluttering it'll do under you're care, I wanted you to know what it's saying."

"Silly…because mine will be right here…" I patted over his heart "…doing the same thing."

"Let me get a shower, and I'll join the land of the living," he finally said, when our words had soaked into the fabric of the bed, walls, and the very cells of our bodies.

As I watched him move toward the bathroom, I thanked the spirit inside of him that hadn't made me feel guilty for needing space…space from the overwhelming nature of him, our attraction, and the love between us.

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><p><strong>I know that I say this every week, but I would love to know your thoughts. Hearing everyone's opinions really make writing this story worthwhile. <strong>

**Demetri and Elizabeth have to be postponed to next week, because the outtake wouldn't make sense without the interactions at the cookout. Instead, Samantha was speaking to me as I wrote this. Her reactions to the chaos of such a large family for reviews.**


	51. SOMP Outtake  Broken Angel

**It is my understanding from several readers that the new process on FF of shortening private messages has eliminated my ability to send long review replies. Hence, I guess that my outtakes will become chapters of the story, instead of individual replies.**

**It is also my understanding that FF has begun the process of removing many stories off the site, so if I disappear, please know that all my stories are over on Twilighted as well under the same penname.**

**Please accept this short POV as a thank you for your reviews!**

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><p><strong>Samantha POV outtake – from Father Knows Best<strong>

"Okay, Samantha, you're next," Ms. Rosalie said, patting the chair in front of her.

She'd just done something pretty with Emmie's hair and held up the brush letting me know that she wanted to fix mine. Slowly, I hobbled over. I didn't like brushes. They hurt…your head, your arms, your legs…

"_You fell down the stairs, do you understand."_

Sitting slowly in the seat, I closed my eyes and waited. I tried not to cry.

"It's going to be nice outside today, why don't we braid your hair away from your face and let the curls hang down in back. Your hair is absolutely beautiful. It'll look great that way," Ms. Rosalie said.

I didn't know what the word "braid" meant, but I wasn't going to say anything.

"_Be quiet!" Smack._

"Is that okay with you?" she asked

I felt sick at my tummy. Was she really asking what I wanted? Or was this a trick?

"_Tricked you!" he said, pulling the sandwich away. "Did you really think you were going to get this?"_

"Samantha, if you don't want your hair braided, we can just leave it down." She sounded upset. People hit when they were mad.

"Please!" I begged, asking her to do whatever she wanted. I sounded like a mouse, like the one he'd stomped on that time.

"Good!" she grinned.

Her hands were gentle, pulling the brush through my hair. When she ran into a tangle, instead of jerking it free, she used her fingers to work it loose.

"You have a lot of hair. We need to get the ends trimmed, and that'll help with the tangles." She ran the brush through my hair one more time. "Ok, I'm going to braid it now."

She parted my hair and then pulled gently at it. I'd frozen when she started, expecting it to hurt, but it didn't. It actually made me sleepy.

"Okay, go see what you think," she said nicely a few minutes later.

Jasmine jumped into the chair when I stood up, and Ms. Rosalie began brushing her hair next. Alistair and Ross smiled at me as I passed them to get to my room. They were playing Battleship, and I couldn't help but jump a little when the game made a loud noise. I almost lost one of my crutches.

Just get to your room and look, I told myself. You'll be safe there….

I had a bathroom, and it had a bathtub big enough to swim in. Meme had put a stool in front of the sink that I could use to brush my teeth, so I climbed up to look at what Ms. Rosalie had done.

Someone else looked back at me. I was a princess!

Ms. Rosalie had done something nice with my hair; she'd made me…pretty. I'd never been pretty.

_You are so ugly. Nobody would want you!_

Putting my fingers to one side, I followed the pattern. My hair looked like a basket, and then it hung down my back in curls. Even my ugly red hair looked nice like this. I began to cry and didn't know why.

My heart hurt.

~SOMP~

I'd been following Mr. Jasper, hiding behind stuff so that he didn't see me, but he'd caught me anyway. I guess it was the crutches that'd given me away. I'd been staring. He was really pretty.

"Hello, Little Bit." He smiled at me, and I wanted to hide my head.

My cheeks felt hot. "Hi!" I squeaked like that squished mouse again.

"Dada!" Jasmine ran by me and then stopped.

Grabbing my hand, she pulled me from behind the chair where I'd hidden toward where her daddy stood. "Mama said you have to 'tain us 'till Carlie gets the movie ready."

"I can do that," he told her, then smiled. "Emmett!" he yelled causing me to jump behind Jasmine. "Bring Emmie, we'll talk about something important like how boys give girls cooties."

I heard the Teddy Bear Man laughing from the kitchen.

~SOMP~

Carlie put the movie in and then came to sit by me. Meme brought in bowls of fruit and juices, but she quickly left, but not before kissing everyone's forehead.

"She's running Aunt Alice and Aunt Rosalie crazy trying to get everything done," Carlie explained to us all. "We just need to stay out of the way."

Putting a grape in my mouth, I snuggled back into the soft couch. Meme seemed okay to me. She fed me constantly, and I'd come to expect her to touch me. And…her cookies were yummy.

The movie was about a girl named Alice. At first, it made me think about Jasmine's pretty mama. She was so nice, bringing me clothes to wear. I'd tried to give them back because they were new, but she'd just grinned and cut the tags off. The outfit I was wearing…it had kittens and yarn sewed on the sleeves…was one of my favorites. But as the movie continued I forgot about Ms. Alice.

Because, the girl was me.

Looking around at the other kids, hearing the laughter coming from the house and outside, smelling the food that Poppa and Bella were cooking outside, and knowing the Dr. Edward was getting better and that he'd promised I'd be okay…I realized I was the girl that had fallen down the rabbit hole.

It was a wonderful place, full of funny people who seemed to like each other and me.

I kept waiting to wake up…

"_Wake up you lazy bitch. We gotta go…"_

…and was praying that I never did.


	52. Cohesion

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness.**

**I wanted to thank those that went over to the Twilight Eclipse Awards and voted for this story. Carlie came in third place for the Best Original Character. **

**I've had a few readers ask questions, so please allow me to clear up a few things. **

**First, this is the only story where I've made Tanya a bad girl. In all my other stories, she's a good person, and I enjoy writing her that way. However, someone had to be the bad seed…so I chose her this time. Victoria's POV, posted last week, caused some confusion. Yes, Tanya and Glenn, Alice's rapist, (not James – who is a security expert for the Cullens and mentioned in the first chapters) were half-siblings. Yes, Tanya found out about him later…yes, finding out about him was part of what started her downward spiral.**

**Secondly, I promise not to focus on Sam2's abuse too much. I'm only doing enough to be realistic to the story.**

**Third, I apologize for the problems with FF last week and the review replies. I want to pull my hair out whenever I have a difficult time getting outtakes out!**

**Lastly, if I do go missing, again, all my stories are up over on Twilighted.**

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

An outburst of rapid Italian announced the arrival of the Velathris. I could even hear Alec's crew chattering from the area of the front door. Turning to grin at Edward, I had to catch my breath.

Leaning on the wall not too far from where his father and I were handling the ribs, he looked delicious. He'd thrown on a form fitting long-sleeved t-shirt and some comfortable-looking blue jeans. The dark green shirt brought out the color of his eyes, and his hair was in its usual disarray, ironically highlighting the poetic nature of his face. I would lay down a bet that he'd used his fingers to comb through the coppery mess. Certainly, a brush would have taken out some of the waviness. Long and lean, he seemed more a piece of art than man.

"Sounds like Aro and the rest of the family have arrived," he said interrupting my fascinated observations. "Why don't we go meet them?" he added, holding his hand out to me.

"Go ahead, Bella. These are just about ready to come off," Carlisle encouraged while pulling a mouthwatering slab of beef from the grill. It looked like the meat would almost fall from the bones.

It was a funny sight; the renowned surgeon treating a slab of beef like it was fragile. I still had to hold in my laughter about his apron. Instead of a simple "Kiss the Cook" or "A Grill…a Man's Domain," Carlisle's read, "Man is incomplete until he marries. After that, he is finished." At first I'd been insulted, until Edward explained that his mom had actually bought the thing for his dad. Then it took on a completely different connotation, and I liked it.

Edward's fingers lacing through mine encouraged me to start moving, and I squeezed his hand gently as we left the back patio. Esme had indicated that we'd be eating in the garden between her and Rose's and Alice's houses, and I knew that Emmett and Jasper had already been recruited to amass all available chairs and tables in the vicinity. I wondered if we shouldn't move everyone in that direction as the house was beginning to almost bulge at the seams, although somehow, the feeling seemed right.

"Is…a…bella!" Marcus boomed as soon as I came around the corner, and he saw me. I jumped at the tone, but headed straight into his arms. It was a weird hug, because I'd refused to let go of Edward's hand. "Look Mae! She's glowing! More the pity…we thought perhaps you'd be the one to tame Demetri for us."

It was hard to even act mad at him, so infectious was his enthusiasm and so obvious his teasing. Didyme pulled me in for a hug as well, but pouted. Flashes of Elizabeth raced across my mind, and any guilt Didyme had produced quickly fled. She'd have her wish to see her son happily paired up soon if my intuition was right.

"Wait! I know that look!" Marcus focused in on my expression. "You know something! Out with it now, Isabella!"

"Nope! You'll have to figure it out for yourself."

Moving away from his curious expression, I latched onto Dora, Caius' wife. Caius stood by her with a large box loaded full of wine.

"Bought the farm?" I asked, being irreverent.

Caius, with his keen mind and sense of humor, quickly caught on to my insinuation. He almost lost hold of the wine as laughter flowed out of him. "You'd think I'd died when I told Aro I was retiring. He all but ordered the windows draped in black. But yes…I snatched that vineyard up for a steal. I've brought plenty of 'samples' to make sure that everyone becomes addicted."

Dora, his wife, rolled her eyes at his frivolity, but I could see that his statement was more fact than bragging. Alec and Afton held boxes as well, and I wondered just how much wine they thought we needed. Pregnant and showing, Chelsea, Alec's wife, stood holding both Michael's and Laurent's hands, and another woman stood to her side. Corin, I suspected, Afton's fiancé.

I introduced Edward to them all, knowing that he'd be unfamiliar. "May I carry anything?" he offered, but Felix ruined any answer coming through the door behind them.

"Absolutely not! Carlisle and I watched those doctors stitch you up pretty. You aren't going to bust anything loose on my watch. Here, I'll help," he said to Alec in a kind tone, picking up a sole bottle from the box. "Aah…it's even cold," he told Demetri, who'd followed. Alec scowled, but there was warmth in it. I was betting that Alec had probably visited Demetri at some time and had come to know the large Italian doctor. However, now that Felix was dating Jane, Alec's twin, he'd be more like family than ever.

Afton grinned at the chaos, but then Esme entered and helped them out.

"We can place the wine in the extra refrigerator. Follow me, and I'll show you where," she offered moving toward the kitchen. As an afterthought, she called out for Edward and me to take everyone to the living room where the kids were hiding.

I had no idea where an extra refrigerator was, but there was still so much of the house that I didn't know. I hadn't even ventured upstairs. The boys cleared out with Caius following them, leaving room for the next guests to enter. I couldn't help but smile brilliantly at Aro and Cia. God, it seemed like forever since I'd seen them. This time, Edward purposely released my hand so that I could hug them. Cia "tutted" over me, but then released me to go to Edward. He won another part of my heart back when he gallantly raised her hand up to kiss her knuckles.

But Aro's arms surrounding me cut off any further observations. "Isabella, it seems as if it has been ages!" He placed his cheek against the top of my head as I hugged him fiercely. "You are looking exceptionally well," he said softly.

"Thank you for coming," I replied just as quietly.

"We're family. You expected me to do less?"

Edward's voice distracted me as I remained in Aro's comforting hug. "I understand that you prayed over me," he murmured to Cia. "I can't thank you enough." He still held Sulpicia's hand gallantly, but his charm came from the rakish smile he sent her way. I didn't think he was even aware of it, the magnetism, but it was there, as bred into him as the color of his hair, his eyes, and the elegant structure of his face.

She nodded gracefully back to him. Dropping her hand, he turned to us and moved forward, holding his hand out. "Aro, thank you for coming."

Edward's honest words were met with warmth, the man that had effectively served as my surrogate father for most of the last decade released me to hold out his hand for a quick handshake.

"I would assume that Mom wants us all in the living room, so before we're all in trouble, shall we?" Edward moved his hand toward said area, and I found it funny that Sulpicia reached out to grab Aro's hand as I did Edward's. I'd never seen them dressed so casually, Cia in a light sweater and khaki's, Aro actually in jeans and a button up shirt.

The kids had been joined by Edward's siblings and their spouses, along with the Velathri "cult," as Demetri liked to call them. The living room was engulfed in pandemonium, and when we entered I saw Samantha's gaze move to us. Seated just feet from where we'd entered, she moved quickly, almost falling before she grabbed a hold of Edward's leg. Peeking out from around him, she stared at Aro.

Intrigued, Aro repaid the favor.

Edward knelt, bringing Samantha between his legs and cradling her to his chest. She laid her head against him, but turned to peek out from under the curtain of her hair towards the Aro. "What's wrong, Samantha?" he asked, brushing her hair gently away from her face.

"Is he…" she nodded at Aro "…Devil?" she squeaked out, then tried to bury her face in Edward's chest. I saw him wince slightly and knew she was probably hurting his wound, but he wasn't going to say anything for fear of scaring her.

I tried…I really did, but the snort won, escaping me at her statement, and Aro leveled a stare at me in an attempt to reprimand me. In response, I rolled my eyes.

"No, he's not the Devil." To a child the tone was very reassuring, but Aro and I heard the humor within it. "He's a friend of our family. His name is Aro, and this is his wife, Sulpicia."

Lowering down, Aro squatted, his hands resting on his thighs. He was attempting to look less threatening to the young girl still attempting to crawl into Edward's skin. "Hello?" Aro said softly, gently. "You must be the Samantha I've heard so much about."

"Heard?" she was unsure.

"Carlie shared all about you."

"Carlie?"

"Yes, she's told me that you are sweet. But, I thought she must be lying about just how beautiful you are; however, I see she wasn't. Your hair reminds me of the sunrise."

"Ugly!" Samantha snuffled into Edward's t-shirt.

Sulpicia gasped when Samantha called herself ugly and lowered down to her knees beside her husband.

"Sunrise over the ocean at our villa, shimmering with golds and blonds as the sun stretches across the water. "

Samantha responded to the frankly maternal sound of Cia's voice, pulling away from Edward to really look at her. When Edward glanced to them as well, I saw Aro do a double take and knew what he was thinking. I shook my head at him, letting him know that, NO, Edward was not her father.

"Cia may think I'm the very devil at times, little one, but I promise I am anything but…" He smiled genuinely at her, and it made him look almost…angelic.

What a hoot.

But any further conversation was cut off as Jake's crew arrived. Before I could say anything to them, Esme stepped in, her arms full of baskets;the warm smell of fresh yeast rolls making my mouth water. "Okay everyone, now that Jacob has decided to arrive…" Leah snickered at her tone "…lunch is ready. Shall we all grab platters and move toward the patio area. I've had the boys set up areas for us to eat."

Esme, the Queen, had spoken and all her loyal subjects obeyed, even the Velathri's. Even if the Velathri men were power houses in law and land, their mothers were the undisputed leaders in the home. It was a clear example of just how the mother ruled the roost. Within minutes, we looked like a long line of ants, following a path toward the lush garden Esme had created, laden with food and drink.

Even the kids carried small baskets that Esme doled out to them, except for Samantha. Seeing the frustration in her eyes at not being able to help, Edward fashioned a sling of sorts, and within that, he'd placed the flowers that Esme wanted for the tables. She looked liked some English maiden coming in from the fields, intent on decorating the castle. Fair maiden or not, her smile was as broad as her face as she hobbled forward.

The covered pool was flanked by small tables, but under a rose covered arbor at one end, Esme had placed several long ones and covered them with green tablecloths. It was there that she directed the boys to place the food, starting first with the ribs and traveling down the length to place the vegetables…corn, cut potatoes seasoned with fresh herbs, chilled steamed asparagus, squash, and zucchini…and then the rolls that had made my mouth water. Several jugs of homemade lemonade followed with a tub filled with bottled water being at the end. Demetri used another tub of ice to place at least ten bottles of the wine. Esme was taking the time to fill vases, scattered down the tables, with the flowers from Samantha's sling and handing Emmie and Jasmine bundles to take to the smaller eating ones. Scattered throughout, thick paper plates waited filling. It was a feast, but considering we had over thirty people to feed, it was good thing.

If the smells of the food weren't enough to drive us into a frenzy, multiple fragrances from the meticulously pruned shrubs and flowers perfumed the unseasonably mild air, and the smell and sound of the Sound...salty and ageless as time itself…filtered in adding the final touches. When she finally had the scene set, Esme turned to the group and smiled. Placing her hand on Samantha's slender shoulder, she nodded, pronouncing everything ready.

"Carlisle, will you do the honors," Aro indicated, having folded his hands in front of him.

Something passed between the two of them, and with a smirk, Carlisle bowed his head and said a short but simple prayer. "Ladies, please be seated," the Cullen patriarch announced.

Then I watched in awe as the men at the tables close to us waited on the girls first, men serving their wives and children. As usual, Seth had Carlie's food ready almost before she could sit. Even though I couldn't see much past the two tables close to us, I assumed the others did as well. Edward carried two plates, and I originally thought that he'd gotten food for us both, before he sat them down in front of me.

"I thought about pretending that I knew what you'd like, but I realized we'd never had ribs together, so I brought you a little of everything." He kissed my forehead and was gone again. A little of everything? There was enough food here to feed an army. He came back putting a bottle of water and a glass of robust red wine in front of me. "I've got to hurry before Emmett makes it, or I might not get to eat." With that, he moved away at quick speed.

I wanted to laugh, because I'd seen the huge platters that had been assembled, and I knew that there was more food still in the house. But I had seen Emmett eat when we were kids, and I was well aware of the amount of food that Felix could put away. Seth had returned to give Carlie lemonade, and she laughed as he ran after Edward. Leah snickered, seeing Jacob attempting to balance several plates on his way to her.

"You'd think that they'd never eaten before!" Leah remarked.

"Well…my and Carlisle's ribs are amazing," I puffed up and then giggled when Leah stared me down.

I assumed that the families separated off, but I noticed when Esme and Sulpicia sat next to one another at the table beside us. Didyme moved to sit directly across from them. Cauis and Dora had taken a place with Afton and Alec's crew on the other side. I found it interesting that such would be the gathering. When Edward sat between Carlie and me with his plates, I took the moment to ask. "Your father, he's close to Marcus and Aro? I know he said that he had some history with them, and I know about the business stuff…but…"

"He is actually closer to Marcus, but that is because of their history. Dad still consults Marcus on things, even though Uncle Eleazar has served as the family's financial counsel for years. Aro came to visit a couple of times during the time I still lived at home, but Marcus was a much more frequent visitor. I'm still amazed that through it all your name never came up."

It was something I'd thought about as well.

"We should have invited Eleazar and Carmen," I said, realizing that I felt small for not having done so.

"Mom tried, but Uncle Eleazar told her that he was taking Aunt Carmen on a short trip this weekend. He said they needed to get away for awhile."

Any further conversations stopped as Jake sat down with his final plate, and we all attacked the food in front of us like it was our last meal. I wanted to laugh as I saw him eye the Italians surrounding us like he expected trouble. He rolled his shoulders several times like his skin crawled. Aro and his group had always made Jake nervous. Nervous or not, he, Edward, and Seth cleared at least two plates of food a piece before even showing the possibility of slowing down.

"Breathe!" Leah told Seth at one point, afraid that he was going to choke.

"Good!" he mumbled, covering his mouth with a napkin.

"But you don't have to eat as if you have no manners," she retorted, fire lighting her eyes.

His mother's reprimand finally won out, and it was almost as if I could see him consciously chew each mouth-full twenty times before he swallowed.

"Much better," she remarked, earning a snicker from Carlie.

Seth nudged Carlie's arm, and she slid her half finished second serving to him. Grabbing the cob of corn she hadn't even started, he crunched happily into it.

Edward chuckled happily at the sight.

"What?" he said when I nudged him. "He's a growing boy. I remember when mom would complain that she couldn't keep Em and I fed." He patted his flat as an iron stomach as if it a testament to anything. It was all muscle and no fat - I knew. The visual made my mouth water.

"Well, I for one am too full to eat any dessert right now," Jake announced. "I'm not sure I'll ever get there."

"AH!" Emmett slapped a hand to Jake's shoulder. "That is exactly what I wanted to hear." He'd approached from the side and moved to stand between Jake and me. "What do ya say to a little game of friendly football? Edward can't play." I heard an unhappy moan come out of the man beside me. "We need more testosterone. I was hoping to recruit you and Seth. Felix and Demetri have already gotten Alec and Afton on board."

"Do you discount our ability to play?" Carlisle called over from the table beside us.

"I wasn't planning on playing touch football." Emmett's eyebrow had a sardonic arch.

Turning, I attempted to catch Carlisle's expression and comeback. Instead, Aro replied.

"Really…" he murmured and then looked like the cat that ate the canary. "Youth…it's a shame how it is wasted on the simple minded, Carlisle. Brawn…yes, it is something to be brought to any altercation. There is always a need for a defensive line of capable bodies…individuals who can be organized and led to use their skills as necessary. But what is really crucial is the knowledge to manipulate those skills in such offensive manner…to attack in a way that crushes the opponent and renders them crippled and terrified."

Jasper let out a whoop at how Emmett had just been challenged. Marcus was smiling like a fool, already anticipating the comeback. His eyes flicked between us as if he was assessing just who would be pairing up. Caius wasted little time, rising to stretch.

"Wished I'd known we were going to play American football. I think I would've stopped at plate two." He leaned over and kissed Dora quickly. "Darling, will you please save me something for dessert."

"Aren't you going to eat up those young men for dessert?" she asked innocently, nodding over to our table, but it looked like she specifically meant Jake and Seth because of her focus.

"They do look tasty, don't they," he joked.

"Emmett, Jasper, Seth, Carlisle, and Marcus are mine," Jake growled over at Aro, intentionally turning his back on the chuckling Caius.

Aro nodded his head regally, as if he was acknowledging an underling. "I can make do with Caius, Felix, Demetri, Afton, and Alec."

"HEY! What 'bout us?" Ross called out, nudging Alistair's thin shoulders. "We can play."

"Oh no, you don't," Rosalie called out quickly, grabbing her son's ear. Alice wasn't far behind, grabbing Alistair in a like manner.

Michael and Laurent, Alec and Chelsea's two, called out their own thoughts about participating, but Chelsea's glare had them backing up. She patted her stomach and said a quick prayer asking for God's mercy in granting them a girl.

"How about they referee with me," Edward suggested, again attempting to take care of the young ones.

"YEAH!" several voices rang out in glee.

"It's killing you to not be able to participate isn't it?" I asked, seeing the look on his face.

"I love to play, but there'll be more games. Maybe not like this one, but others." He smirked, looking over to watch something that was out of my sight.

As the light hit his hair, making it glow like molten copper, I realized that if we stayed together, there would be many more days like this. Our groups would mix, grow together, become a family of sorts. A crazy, eclectic, mixture of light and dark, perfect and imperfect beings…

"There'll be more," I promised him, reaching over to grab his hand and pull him in for a quick kiss.

"Enough kissy-pooh stuff. Let's play football!" Ross announced loudly between us, making us jump apart.

Edward chuckled at the mutinous expression on his nephew's face. "Okay…football now…kissy-pooh later."

Alistair, Michael, and Laurent stood just behind him and the look of boyish joy on their faces was infectious.

"I need 20 minutes to confer with my guard," Aro called out.

"Fair," Jacob mumbled back, already motioning for his group to go toward the field that had been set up in the grassy area beside the drive leading in.

"I'll be back in a moment, Bella. I need to get something," Edward chuckled, and I laughed to see the four boys following him like baby ducks behind their mama. What was that phenomenon called again…it hit me…imprinting.

"Boys…their bodies only age, while their minds stay perpetually the same," Leah murmured darkly, but then grinned. "Should be a good game. Let's help get this cleaned up and assist Mrs. Cullen in getting the food put up, then I'm going to imbibe in several more glasses of that wine." She eyed the comfortable looking lounge chairs that had been pushed to the side. "We'll get them to pull those up closer to the field so that we can see."

What she really meant was so that I could hopefully see better.

"Esme, please Leah," Edward's mother said as she moved beside us. "Mrs. Cullen makes me feel so old."

Within the allotted twenty minutes, we had the place cleaned, wine in hand, and were reclining on very comfortable chairs to watch the chaos.

"I almost feel like we are queens watching over some tournament," Carlie said as she settled beside me.

"We are!" Jane declared, and Chelsea and Corin giggled.

"At least we try to make the boys think that," Corin added.

Edward, with his gaggle, stopped by to hand me a pair of binoculars. He'd found black baseball caps inside the house and put them on each of the boys. To complete the look, he'd given them large white t-shirts. "For you, My Queen," he announced, before chuckling and walking away with the kids in tow.

"Irrepressible fool…he won't make it long, Carlie. Be prepared to step in. He wants to run with them, but he isn't going to be able to. I give him a quarter," Esme announced.

"Unfortunately, I think you're right," Rose announced, taking a healthy drink of her wine. "I bet they don't make it to half-time before someone's hurt."

Alice pressed her fingers to her lips and looked like she was focusing. "No, first quarter. They're going to play hard. I hope neither Felix or Dad hurt their hands, that'd be a shame!"

I laughed at the fact she either wasn't worried about her husband, or didn't care that he'd get hurt.

"My boys cheat," Esme admitted. She had a curious expression…a mixture between horror, humor, and embarrassment.

Sulpicia's full bodied laugh carried across the space between us, causing the men to all turn our way. "Our's cheat more. Give them a wave, ladies. You're about to witness a time honored tradition; grown men acting like children."

My heart swelled when I saw Sam2, who was tucked in beside Esme on her couch blow a kiss in the boys' direction. Obviously the others saw it too, because I witnessed tears in several set of eyes. Her action set into motion the rest of us doing the same. The men responded like love-sick idiots, reaching up as if to catch them.

Sam1 was sitting with Carlie and she smiled over at the Sam2. They'd figured out that they would be going to the same school, and it helped Esme breathe easier knowing that once Samantha was released to attend, that she'd already have a friend. Snuggled in beside their mothers, both Emmie and Jasmine looked ready to take naps.

"Here we go," Didyme announced happily. "HA! Marcus is getting serious. See, he's tying back his hair. Makes my heart flutter." She waved her hand in front of her as if she was fanning herself.

"As if it takes much," Athenodora snorted, teasing the poor woman.

"Blah, blah," the dignified Didyme responded, using her previously fanning hand to mimic someone talking. She never took her eyes off her husband the entire time. "By the way, Isabella…I saw your look earlier. You may not spill to my husband, but you will to me."

I was saved from answering by the yells from the Cullen/Black/Velathri group. They'd won the toss. Felix was in Edward's face, and I was betting that he was accusing Edward of cheating to give favor to his family members. Edward shrugged nonchalantly, and Felix stepped in closer in a threatening manner. Never losing his cool, Edward said something; I was guessing that he'd reminded Felix of his ability to expel him for unsportsmanlike conduct. Felix snarled at him, but the look of pure exhilaration on his face as he turned said he'd enjoyed the argument. It was amazing just how many nuances I could pick up with the binoculars Edward had supplied me.

"Edward is usually quarterback, so Jazz will have to stand in."

"Maybe not, Aunt Alice. Seth has a great arm. Daddy can't decide if he needs to be a receiver or a quarter back," Carlie responded.

Sure enough, Seth moved out of the huddle, dropping back behind Jasper, ready to receive the snap.

"Five, four, three, two, one," Jane counted out, and then barked out in enthusiasm as Emmett and Felix crashed against each other on the snap.

I swear I felt the earth shake from where we sat. Carlisle used the opening to run with the ball that Seth had passed him, but a flash of black hair told me that Aro was after him. I couldn't see everything using the binoculars, so the game really formed to me in almost photographic images. Aro upended Carlisle, taking his legs out from under him. It was then that I realized that this was to be no regulation game. It was all out war. Felix and Emmett looked like they were attempting to kill one another, and I thought there would be a brawl when Emmett stepped over the goal line for the first touchdown. He claimed "unnecessary roughness" when it seemed that Felix tackled him just a little too late. The debate carried on for five minutes as the groups argued, their loud voices carrying over to us. Demetri had targeted Jasper for his particular form of poison, Jacob and Caius seemed to be in an unholy hate relationship, whereas Marcus had tagged Afton. Alec and Seth were well matched; clearly Alec had played sports, and Seth wasn't having to hold back.

Bodies were shoved, the football stolen, faces were rubbed in the dirt, clumps of glass went flying, and arguments broke out as the minutes continued. Only Alistair, Ross, Laurent, or Michael were able to get by with undisputed calls. But when Ross called his father off sides, the look on Emmett's face was priceless. His "Et tu, Brutus" had us rolling; even if it went over the head of the young official he'd just called a traitor.

A blocked field goal, although who knew how they were calling that correctly, caused a skirmish in the middle of the field. Caius claimed that Jake fought dirty under the pile, and knowing the "I'm innocent" look on my Jake's face well enough…I was betting that Caius was right.

But as Alice had predicted, we heard Afton cursing just minutes before they would have called first quarter, his uncle having sent him spinning with a vicious tackle. Afton hopped around on one leg. "Damn it! Uncle Marcus! Why you gotta be that way!" He cringed when he tried to put weight down.

Carlisle and Felix were both down on their knees checking his leg before Corin made it half way across the makeshift field. Having both run their hands along his leg, we heard them concur on a "sprain."

Corin supported him as he hobbled, his uncle following.

"I'm sorry, Afton. If I'd known you needed me to go easy…" Marcus chuckled, and Afton looked like he almost growled back.

"There are large Ziploc bags on the counter in the kitchen for ice," Esme told Corin as they walked by headed for the house.

"Okay," she answered, grinning at us as Afton whined and complained in her footsteps.

Esme turned to the group and admitted, "Any time they get in the mood for a football or basketball game, I go ahead and pull out the Ziplocs."

Marcus slipped in next to Didyme, pulling her up and over his legs so that her back leaned against his chest. "Ah…this is so much better," he said in a seductive voice, wrapping his arms around her.

Even Sam2 laughed at how relieved he looked to be out of the game. Training my binoculars back on Edward, I saw the stress he was trying to hide. I was about to call out for him to quit when Carlisle dove for Aro, taking them both down. Blood streamed from Carlisle's nose when he sat up, and he and Aro were both laughing so we knew it was okay, but the ear-piercing screams from beside me startled us all.

Samantha had leaped up and almost fell as she attempted to get the crutches under her. "Poppa! Poppa!" she wailed, attempting to move across the area to him. Tearing streaming down her face she kept calling out for Carlisle, and when he made it to her, she dropped the crutches and fell into his arms. Wiping furiously at the blood, she was hysterical.

"Damn it," I heard Alice say beside me.

We'd all stood in our haste to get to her. The boys, pieces of grass sticking from their hair and suspicious material that might be grass clumps clinging to their clothes, surrounded her.

Carlisle attempted everything he knew to quiet her, but it seemed to make it worse as she clung to his shirt.

Making my way to Edward, I worried at my lip, wondering how to calm her. "Hey, maybe you should call Elizabeth and ask her what to do," I suggested.

"Hmmm…I'm sure I'd just get her answering service, but it might be worth a try. She might call me back," he shrugged, already pulling the phone out of his pocket.

I saw the mutinous look on Demetri's face, but ignored it. He could fight fate another time. Edward left a message as Carlisle attempted to get the young one to calm, but she wasn't having anything to do with it.

"I'm out boys, at least for a few minutes. Let me take Samantha into the house and get her some ice cream." Carlisle watched to see if his statement would help calm the child in his arms, but it didn't.

Esme was standing beside him and seeing her, Samantha grabbed her hand, as if she didn't want to let go.

"We'll stop," Emmett declared, but was quickly shushed.

"We'll only be a little while, right sweetheart?" She blew her nose into his shirt, and only Carlisle would grin about that. "Continue playing. We're up, and I would hate for Aro to declare we only won by forfeit."

We watched Carlisle, holding Samantha, and Esme walk into the house.

"I feel like the Devil himself," Aro declared, his worry at having made Samantha cry apparent on his face. His nose was bleeding as well, but I highly doubted he even knew it.

"Marcus, you're back in," Jacob ordered, calling the Italian in to go against his brother.

"Here," Edward handed me the phone.

"Love, you're tiring. Don't overdo it," I begged.

He grinned his heart stopping smile and kissed me. "I'm just training the others." He nodded toward his four miniature referees. "I'll be back to sit with you in a few more minutes."

I let him go at that, but was stunned when no more than ten, rough and tumble, minutes later his phone rang. I was even more amazed to hear Elizabeth's voice.

"Bella?"

"Yes, hi Elizabeth. I didn't really expect you to call back."

"Well, I check the service on the hour when I'm away from my phone, so the timing was impeccable. What seems to be the problem? Edward mentioned something about the young lady he asked my assistance with…"

I explained just what had occurred.

"Hm…well, it would seem that the sight of Carlisle getting hurt bothered her. You're all at his parents' home?"

"Yes."

"What's the address?"

I gave her the information and could hear a navigational system in the background speaking.

"Well, I don't usually do house calls, but I was visiting friends for a tennis match, and I'm not too far away. I'm certain Dr. Cullen has already checked her vitals, but I can assess her briefly. I have a name for Edward anyway, and this would be as good a time as any to see him as well, since he hasn't been able to come in."

"I am certain both he and Carlisle would appreciate your help."

"I should be there in less than fifteen minutes."

She politely said goodbye, but I waited until Felix had slammed Emmett to the ground to yell out the news to Edward. If Demetri grimaced just a little too dramatically, I ignored it. I was curious to see just how my friend would react to seeing a certain Ms. Elizabeth Paschal again, and I wondered just whether or not God would be my friend and have her arrive in a tennis skirt. It would so make my day.

I decided less than fifteen minutes later, that I must have been a very good girl lately, because Dr. Elizabeth drove up in some sleek little convertible, and it was clear that she had come directly from said tennis match. The wolf whistles for the car stopped immediately when she stepped out. Hair up in a ponytail, a flirty tennis skirt under a simple polo top; she was stunning. The silence allowed Demetri to royally screw up. His hiss could be heard from where we were sitting, and his parents' wise eyes narrowed in on him, then me. I grinned in delight.

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><p><strong>AN: Yes, I know, I stopped half way through. The chapter was getting to be a monster. I wanted to give the family time and Bella's leaving justice and to shorten it would have make it weak.**

**Due to the division, the Elizabeth/Demetri outtake will have to wait another week. I promise to send when appropriate, but would still love to hear what you think. I'm not one to beg for reviews, but I've noticed that many of the readers that originally sent me their thoughts have disappeared. **

**Does the story suck that much?**


	53. Memories

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness.**

**I apologize for the delay in posting. I was being respectful of the boycott on FF, and then I needed to wait one extra day for my final beta to have the time to look over this.**

**The chapter is extra long to make it up to you! By the way, I heard from several of you…yes…the family chapter was fun, but we will be getting to the serious Bella/Edward/Carlie stuff now.**

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><p><em>I decided less than fifteen minutes later, that I must have been a very good girl lately, because Dr. Elizabeth drove up in some sleek little convertible, and it was clear that she had come directly from said tennis match. The wolf whistles for the car stopped immediately when she stepped out. Hair up in a ponytail, a flirty tennis skirt under a simple polo top; she was stunning. The silence allowed Demetri to royally screw up. His hiss could be heard from where we were sitting, and his parents' wise eyes narrowed in on him, then me. I grinned in delight.<em>

While Marcus moved quickly toward Didyme to rally their offensive strategy, Edward began walking toward Elizabeth. Felix's assessing eyes were glued to Demetri for scant moments before sliding over to examine Elizabeth. His grin was as broad as mine, and he turned to catch my eye. At my nod, he whistled loudly and then moved out of Demetri's way.

"Isabella?" Didyme hissed quietly. The question was clear. When Marcus made my side and pinned me with his gaze, I nodded to them as well.

I could have sworn I heard him say "Hallelujah." They trusted me and my intuition entirely too much.

Demetri, like the moth drawn to the bug zapper, moved toward Elizabeth and Edward. It was mesmerizing to watch.

"Elizabeth, thank you for coming. I'm sorry we disturbed you; in fact, I feel silly now. She seems to have calmed some already after my dad took her inside."

"It's fine, Edward. I'd been meaning to come by and check on you anyway, so I can kill two birds with one stone." I saw her pass something to him and assumed it might be the referral for Samantha that she'd spoken about. Her next words confirmed my suspicion. "This is a friend of mine's number. I spoke to her personally, and she is eager to meet your little one."

"Thank you again," Edward grinned, before turning to the crowd.

Clearly torn about interacting with her, Demetri lingered just feet from them as Edward introduced her to everyone. If Marcus' and Didyme's smiles were just a little too bright, Elizabeth seemed none the wiser.

"Of course, you've met Demetri…"

"Shrink…" he snarled in acknowledgment.

"Spook…" she retaliated, cool as a cucumber.

Edward had paused at their name calling, but as soon as they stopped, he picked up. "…and this is his best friend, Felix."

Felix oozed charm, but he had it in spades to do so. He reached for her hand and bent over it to kiss her knuckles. "Dr. Paschal. It is a delight to meet you." I thought Demetri might actually lunge at Felix. "This is my better half, Jane," he continued, pulling Jane to the forefront.

"It is a delight to meet you. Deme and I have both sat through several of your grandfather's lectures. He is an amazing and incredibly intelligent man, even if I don't agree with all his precepts. But I must say, if I ever needed the services of a profiler, I'd want him. He seems…tenacious."

Elizabeth smiled and the look told me that she very much loved her grandfather. Her comment let me know that she also believed him to be a curmudgeon. "He can be trying at times. Something about a man that thinks he knows everything just makes you want to smack them." She glared at Demetri as she said it.

Jane actually broke out into laughter before reaching over to grab Felix's hand. "Yeah, I certainly know what you mean."

~SOMP~

"Is everything okay?" I asked of Edward when he returned from taking Elizabeth inside.

He'd been gone for a time, and my mind had been divided between the action on the field and my concern about Samantha. Carlie had taken over supervision of the four young referees, but had decided within minutes to allow them the full rights and obligations of the game. Sitting on a lounge beside me, she and I both spent the time chuckling as the miniature dictators called their fathers on various fouls. Esme and the other women didn't help much, priming them on "calls" boys saw. Little boys knew where their bread was buttered; the women within the Cullen and Velathri clans were definitely producing some questionable calls. Even Aro narrowed his eyes at Sulpicia one time. Clearly unimpressed by the threat, she continued on.

Edward grinned. "Yeah, sorry, I spoke with her a little before she went in to help mom and dad. Mostly setting up an appointment for next week, but she did want to check in with me."

Surprising me, he pulled the chair with me in it closer to Carlie and then slid into the seat with her, throwing his arm around her shoulders. With his other, he reached over to lace our fingers upon the arm rest.

"How are your eyes? You may need to rest them with all the sunshine and the strain of using the binoculars."

Bossy man. But my eyes were tired, so I spent the last quarter of the game listening, only opening them when I heard the fights about to interrupt.

It ended in a stalemate as overtime only resulted in Jasper pulling a muscle in his leg and Marcus walking off with the declaration, "Can't we all just get along?"

The game itself was interesting, but what held my attention were the exchanges of the two at my side. Edward and Carlie spent the entire time discussing or arguing over the game, interspersed with talk of music, her plans for the next competition, and a science project she had to complete for school. With his arm wrapped around her, it was almost as if Edward was like a sponge, soaking up as much of her as he could. She'd have to come here often, I realized. They needed time alone as much as he and I did. It was going to be a fine dance, building our relationships with him.

When the men finally declared a truce, Esme invited everyone in to enjoy dessert, and my heart began to pound in panic. Jake and Leah were taking me home, and the invitation to crowd inside was a signal that the celebration was coming to a close. I let Edward and Carlie get absorbed into the crowd intentionally, determining to be the final person in so that I could sneak away for a moment. I didn't want anyone knowing that I was upset. Upon entering the rooms where we'd stayed, a sense of calm seemed to envelope me. Here I could smell both Edward and me, could rest within the perfect bubble that seemed to surround me, could soak in the safety it seemed to represent.

I'd already brought my bag out and had sat it on the bed I'd attempt to sleep in but abandoned nightly for a much more enticing place. I thought to myself that perhaps the process of finishing the packing would help get me righted. But when I put the first folded shirt into the space, the tears started.

A slight brush of feet on the carpet warned me, but I still couldn't hold in the sob when his arms went around my waist and he laid his cheek on top of my head. Wrapping my arms around his, I didn't even attempt to hold my sorrow in, letting the tears flow down my face.

"Why am I doing this?" I finally forced out, the words gruff and heavy.

"Because you are so much smarter than I am, and you know that staying with me right now will only be detrimental in the long run. Yes, it's what I want more than anything…not to let you go…to keep you in my bed and Carlie in the house where I can see and hear her, but it isn't what we need right now. I want a chance at forever, Bella. That is a big order, and it takes some forbearance of immediate wants and desires."

"It sounds like you've really thought this out," I grumped and then felt him laughing softly, his chest vibrating with his humor against my back.

"Well, it's what I keep telling myself every time the panic starts to set in." Loosening his hold on me a little, he turned me in his arms, and then gently wiped the tears from my face. I wasn't sure if he'd been crying…it was hard to tell whether the sheen to his eyes was all him, or just me looking at him through my own. Brushing his thumbs along my cheekbones, he said, "I want to beg you not to cry, but I know sometimes it is really just what the soul needs."

When he pulled me into his embrace again, I could hear his heart beating strongly as I lay against his chest. The thin material of his shirt did nothing to disguise the thick scarring below my cheek. Neither of us said anything for many minutes, just remaining in the embrace that seemed to blanket us from the world.

Finally, he broke the silence. "Let me help you pack so that you can come back and enjoy dessert. I thought we were going to have bloodletting when Emmett and Felix decided they both wanted the same dessert. I like him."

I chuckled before teasing him. "Emmett? I hope so considering he's your big brother."

His chest shook again at my humor. "No, my love, Felix. He is a good guy…and I thinkthat I could be friends with him, now that I know he isn't on the list."

"List?" My confusion was clear from the tone of my voice.

"Of those who'd steal you out from under me, given the chance."

"Pfft…" I spit out…as if. "Yeah, right…as if there is such a thing."

This time he drew back and looked down into my face. His look was mysterious. "Okay, Bella…" He nodded to the bathroom before saying, "Go wash your face and dry those eyes."

When I returned, he had my bag almost entirely packed. The rows of my shirts and pants were a spectacular miracle of obsessiveness considering the pile I'd thrown them in on the bed. I'd forgotten just how anal he could be at times. Just to mess with him, I ruffled one of the shirts a little while his back was turned. When I moved back to the bed with a small armload, it was precise once more. It made me smile, the return of the simple game we'd once played.

While I looked in the drawers to make sure that we hadn't missed anything, he zipped the bag shut. Lifting it, he reached for my hand when I turned. "Let's join the others."

"Not yet."

Standing on tiptoes, I placed my lips to his and forced every emotion I could into the simple joining of him to me. I LOVE YOU! I wanted to scream, but sometimes words were just inadequate. I heard the soft thud of the bag hitting the floor just before he wrapped his arms around me, bringing me snuggly against him. It was a gentle kiss, although I wouldn't have minded something more. But that was Edward, still struggling to be something different with me than those others. At least I'd broken his control a little out on the patio. I didn't think my bitch fit was going to immediately change him…but it had been tremendously nice to have it.

Then all rational thought fled as I gave myself over to the magic between us. When he finally moved back, I found that my hands had somehow tangled all up in his hair and my moan when we parted was embarrassingly loud. At least I could tell that he was as affected by the kiss as I was, his green eyes glittered brightly and desire was stamped across his face…his skin stretched tautly across his cheekbones and pupils dilated.

"Dessert…Bella…now," he panted.

"Okay…"

~SOMP~

Elizabeth walked into the family room, her gaze finding Edward immediately.

"She's going to be okay. I've spoken to your parents about how to help her, but I suggest contacting the individual whose name I gave you and setting up an appointment quickly. She'll need the help to deal with her reactions to similar situations."

Post traumatic stress I was guessing, but Elizabeth, ever the professional, wouldn't come out and just say that. I would lay odds that Samantha had seen her 'father' beat someone before. The blood had seemed to be the trigger.

"Tomorrow morning first thing," Edward promised her.

"I'll be going then."

"Good riddance," Demetri muttered, causing his mother to gasp at the rudeness.

"Demetri Velathri!" she snarled out in reprimand.

I'd only seen Elizabeth the one time at the hospital with Edward, but I'd already formed a very solid opinion of her. She was calm, unflappable, and cool under fire, but in that moment, I saw a very different Elizabeth. Fire flew from her eyes.

"Don't bother, Mrs. Velathri. You can attempt to raise individuals with manners, but it doesn't mean that they'll choose to utilize them. Sometimes they just don't have the intelligence to do so."

It was a good slap. Felix tried hard to stifle his chuckle, but Demetri heard and spun to glare at him. Elizabeth used the distraction to walk out.

"Son, you will go immediately and apologize to her! I will abide by nothing else. You may be a man grown, but you are a representative of this family and my son. I must say that this is the first time your behavior has caused me discomfort." Marcus' voice was strong and clear, and it didn't broker for his son to disobey. Even though Demetri was an adult, it was clear that Marcus expected him to do as told.

I saw the embarrassment bloom across Demetri's face, but he complied, moving from where he'd leaned against the wall after glaring at Felix. "I apologize. I don't know why I react to her in the way I do." His tone was elegant and sorrowful. He left the room, headed for the front door.

I waited until he was out of hearing range. "Good move, Marcus."

He grinned devilishly and he, Didyme, and I lunged for the hallway. Luckily Edward followed, because I wasn't sure that they'd share quickly enough what they saw. We were like peeping toms…raising the blinds only slightly. Damn, damn, damn…it was too far for me to see.

"Tell me what's going on!" I demanded of Edward.

"He just got to the car. Whew! If I was him, I'd back away. She looks like she wants to kill him." He chuckled. "He must have just told her he was sorry…or at least something like that…because she's placed her hands on her hips in a very sassy manner. You know, I'm probably not supposed to be seeing this. It probably breaks some of the psychiatrist-patients rules for relationships. By the way, if this thing happens, you know I'm going to lose her. She won't be able to keep seeing me."

"Edward!"

"Sorry, I was having a personal moment of crisis. Whatever he just said made her backbone straighten like a broomstick. She's poking him in the chest."

"Look at his face, Mae. He's a goner." Marcus snickered. "I like her, hell…I already love her considering she isn't backing down to him. Good stamina. They'll make such beautiful and spirited children."

"And you say I'm the meddler," Didyme hissed at her husband, but there was more pleasure than venom in her tone. "Oh my!" The tone changed then. She was excited.

"What's happening?" I all but screamed out.

Edward's arm went around my waist. "He stepped up to her, closing the distance between them. She's not backing away, and I swear it almost looked like he was going to kiss her! She pushed him away, and when that didn't work, she stomped down onto his foot. She made it into the car then, but he grabbed the wheel. Seems she is as protective of her car as I am mine. She looks like she would like to chew his arm off."

"Oh my goodness!" Didyme laughed out.

"What! What!" Where were those damn binoculars?

"She almost ran over him," Edward chuckled.

I could hear him yelling then, telling her to come back.

"We have to go, or we're going to be caught," Marcus warned.

Like a bunch of giggling kids, we made our way back to the living room to avoid the angry Italian man. Even I had understood some of the creative Italian oaths that were being thrown out.

~SOMP~

Edward remained between Carlie and me throughout the rest of the evening and during the time when the Velathris left, the Demetri/Elizabeth incident still being happily discussed, behind his back, as they crowded into their sedans and SUVs. It could have been my imagination, but it seemed that Edward's grip grew a little tighter as more time slipped away. I enjoyed watching him with our daughter, seeing the way he made her his focus when she spoke as if he hung on every little word she said. It wasn't fake interest, like some adults gave kids…the glaze that came over their eyes when they were attempting to be polite. He cared about her, what she had to say, and how she said it. I watched in fascination as she cut him down a few notches and then in amazement at his fluid way of handling her. It cracked her up as well, to see him assuming some parental privilege over her. He was strong, and he needed to be around her, because Jake had been her father before, and she would chew anyone weaker up.

Speaking of…

I'd known Jake my entire life. My first memory of him was when he and I had made mud pies together. It was blurry, but I could still recollect him putting one in his mouth and the look on his face when he did. For the years that I'd been blind, I'd grown to become familiar with him on a totally different level…the tone of his voice, the tenseness of his muscles, and the sound of his footsteps. I wouldn't hesitate to say that I could also tell things about him by smell. Not the easy stuff, like when he was wearing the cologne that he hoped would get him lucky with Leah, or when he'd just come out of the shower, or worse…when he'd just come home from practice with the team. I could tell when he was anxious, or angry, or happy just by the aura I could sense around him.

So, I knew when it was time to go. It was in the way he moved and the glances he sent my way when he thought I wasn't looking. Edward's sigh, when Jake started my way, was almost silent.

"Bella, we'll need to get started home soon. It's a school day tomorrow for the kids."

"Okay. My stuff is by the door."

Saying goodbye to the family was comprised of easy, quick statements of when we would see each other next: lunch with Rosalie and Esme and dinner at a very determined Alice's house. She was being inordinately serious about me agreeing, so I wondered what she was going to stir up. I did have to spend a few moments with the now calm Sam2, letting her know that, "No, I wasn't going to forget her." Carlisle clandestinely promised me that he would call if Edward began to show any signs of getting worse. Coming to the end of the line, I had to survive the rib crushing hug Emmett gave me and grinned as Jasper gallantly kissed my cheek. I noticed that Carlie was treated to similar goodbyes.

Having gotten their reassurances, they allowed us out the door with only Edward in tow.

He and Carlie had already made plans for her to come to the house several times after school during the week to work on the science project, so she quickly kissed his cheek and settled in beside Seth and Sam1 in Jake's jeep. With cheeky waves they took off, leaving Leah to drive me home in her car and deal with me. Jake was such a chicken. Leah grinned and got into her car, giving Edward and me some privacy.

"May I come to visit Tuesday and bring lunch? I have to go see Elizabeth for my appointment, and since I'll be using the driver, he can bring me by?" he asked hesitantly.

A whole day without him…

"A lunch date?" I teased, suddenly uncertain as to how to handle my feelings and overwhelming sense of panic.

"Yes," he grinned, the blush staining his cheeks, making him even more handsome in some weird sort of way.

"I can cook."

"No, let me bring something, or it won't be a proper date. I'd like to take you and Carlie to dinner as well, possibly later in the week…on a night that wouldn't interfere with her practices."

He'd be getting a lot of one on one time with her, so I initially thought it ironic that he'd want to go to dinner, but then it hit me that he wanted to go as a family.

"Sure."

Stepping up to me, I thought he would kiss me again, but this time when he bent it wasn't to brand my lips, but my forehead. He then brushed his fingertips across my face as if he was attempting to memorize me.

"You'll rest?" he asked.

"Of course."

"At least eight hours of good sleep every night, Bella. And, you need to remember to rest your eyes even if you don't take a nap during the day. If you feel any pressure…"

Placing my fingertips to his lips, I stopped his flow of words. "Who's the patient here?"

He chuckled and then smirked and shook his head. "We both are. "I'm a doctor, Bella. And I love you. Bear with me on the desire to watch over you."

It was my time to grin, and I reached out to lace our fingers together.

"The physical therapist is coming tomorrow to work with you and Samantha both. Don't terrorize him." Edward glared at me. "Edward…" I growled at him. "Samantha will follow your lead. If you take it seriously, she will." He squeezed my hands and pulled me into him.

"I will promise to be good, as long as you agree to follow dad's directions precisely." He squeezed me again. "You need to go, love."

"I know."

But neither of us moved for at least a few more minutes, just soaking up the comfort offered by our embrace. Then, he pulled back and determinedly led me over to Leah's car. Opening the door, he waited for me to sit. I couldn't…not without one more brief kiss. Then the sound of the door closing startled me, and I tried to ignore the sense that it sounded like a death toll.

I watched him as Leah started up the car and began to slowly pull away. With every inch, my chest felt like someone was squeezing the very breath out of me. Edward raised his hand in farewell, and my hands went to the glass as if I was trying to touch him through it. I felt dizzy when he finally disappeared from my view. He was smiling at me, but I saw how fragile it looked, how lost he seemed. The picture stuck in my head.

"You have balls the size of watermelons, Bella Swan. I'm not sure I could walk away from that," Leah teased as she turned out onto the road.

The breath wheezed out of me, and for the moment I thought I might actually pass out from the pain.

"Bella!" she panicked.

"Just keep driving. I promise I'll be okay. I have to be okay."

"Uh, huh!"

It was hard to breathe, and I had to force myself to do so for several minutes in order to calm down.

"Do you need me to take another trip around the block?" Leah asked, turning to me to assess my state.

"No…no…I'll be okay. Thank you though."

"Tell me again why you're doing this?"

She wasn't really questioning me. Leah was, other than Jake, my best friend. She was getting me to think through it in order to ground me. A deep breath tore out of me in a whoosh.

"Because I don't want to just be ruled by my hormones. The last few weeks have been like a whirlwind with Carlie finding them, the Cullens barging into our lives, finding out about all that happened back then, and then Edward telling me that he never stopped loving me. Add into it the opportunity for my sight to be restored and then the surgery…it's just a lot to consider, and I can't think like that around him. Not right now."

"Sex starved body making decisions for you, huh?"

I snorted at her. God, I loved her.

"Yeah…well, give me a break. Other than Robert, you know I've been on a fast for years." This was Leah, so I could be honest with her about it. "It's different with Edward, overwhelming really."

"Have you slept with him already?"

"No, but I haven't been able to keep from fooling around a little." She chuckled as the heat of lust caused the color to rise in my face.

"Go girl!" she grunted, and I saw one of the houses we'd passed go by us again. She'd done another trip anyway.

"Is it wrong that I can't keep my hands off him, even when we haven't figured out everything yet?"

"Bella, you are talking to the girl who couldn't keep her hands off Jacob Black even when I hated him. I want to believe that Seth was conceived after we finally admitted to our feelings so that I can call him my love child, but you know better than anyone that my poor son might be more likely labeled a lust child than anything. God, even now I can feel the hackles rising on the back of my neck when I consider how much I despised the arrogant son-of-a-bitch back then." She actually growled at the memories. Then she laughed. "On a sidebar…I give Demetri and Elizabeth less than a week before they are in bed together. They'll still hate one another for awhile, and be appalled when it happens, but man…imagine the fireworks."

I joined her in giggling then because it was true. I'd never seen a couple more like Leah and Jake in my life.

"I should just tell them to stop fighting the inevitable, but it'll make it all the sweeter for them when they finally give in."

"Yeah…"

"But back to you and the redhead." She was so funny using Jake's nickname for him. "You love him. You never stopped even when he tore your heart out. But he's sincere Bella. Deeply and honestly sincere. Let him do whatever it is he feels he has to do to make it up to you and enjoy the ride. And in regards to sex, you're a healthy, adult woman. You have needs. Ones, by the way, that you've pretty much ignored other than that delicious dish you kept from Jake." Poor Robert. I wasn't sure he'd like to be referred to as a delicious dish, but then again knowing him, he'd find it an amusing honor. She continued, "You'll know when it's right, and if I'm not mistaking him, Edward is going to let you be the person that decides."

She'd said the last sentence as a statement, but it was really a question.

"Yeah, I kinda had to go postal on him about that…"

"Hmm…would I have wanted to be a fly on the wall for that one?"

Remembering the fireworks between us, I knew she would, but then again…I'd held him in my hands and made him lose control. "Maybe for part of it," I admitted and she broke out in laugher. I snickered and then joined her.

She'd done it all purposefully in an attempt to get me over being upset. "Thanks, Leah. I needed you to whip me into shape."

"No problem. All in a day's duty."

She pulled into the neighborhood, and within a minute, I was walking through my front door.

The house was silent, so I knew that Carlie had gone to the main house. I was grateful for the few moments to reorient myself. Putting the cane I'd carried by the front door, I rolled my piece of luggage to my room. Putting away my clothes would be something mundane to do while I pondered. The place seemed off for some reason, almost as if I didn't belong anymore. The thought made me mad. I refused to allow the last few weeks to change everything. Putting the bag on the bed, I unzipped it and flung the lid back in anger…and then broke out into laughter.

Every piece of my clothing had been shaken out and stuffed back into the bag in a chaotic mess.

Edward!

The laughter and tears that poured out of me this time was healing. Mr. Anal was telling me that he'd do anything to make this work. The simple "I love you" note and one of his t-shirts I found placed on the bottom didn't hurt either.

~SOMP~

Carlie's big yawn as she came through the door told me that we wouldn't be talking tonight, but I knew we needed to. It would seem that she had the same idea.

"Can we hideaway tomorrow night…just the two of us?" She'd leaned against the door-frame and was watching me hang up my clothes.

"Yeah…that'd be nice. I'll make dinner, and we'll put a threatening note on the door."

"Perfect!"

"How about homemade Mac and Cheese for dinner?"

"Man! Oh man…you trying to get me to play hookey?" she asked while coming over to get her goodnight kiss.

Within a minute, I heard her shower running and knew that she'd be asleep within minutes. Carlie was blessed with the sleep of a baby - the minute her head hit the pillow, she was gone. I suspected my night would be far from that restful. My shower done and teeth brushed, I threw on Edward's t-shirt. The smell of him and the pleasure of the soft cotton surrounded me in comfort, but the bed looked as appealing as if it was made of nails. Breaking down, I grabbed my cell phone and dialed his number while I lay down.

"Bella!" he breathed out as if he'd been holding his breath.

"Hey!" For a moment, we were both quiet as if we were attempting to settle our worlds. "I just needed to hear your voice before I go to bed."

"I wanted to call, but I didn't know if I'd be crowding you."

"No…I miss you already."

His chuckle sounded harsh. "God, you have no clue!"

"Have you taken your sleeping medicine?" I asked.

"Yeah, dad forced it down my throat saying that he knew I wouldn't sleep without it. I hate the stuff, but he wasn't giving me many options. I have another bed mate."

"HUH!" I almost shrieked the word.

"Samantha. She was waiting on me as soon as I came in from you leaving. I was reading her books, and she fell asleep. I try to get her in bed, but I figured it just didn't matter."

I laughed imagining the two of them sleeping amidst a ton of books.

"I made Alice buy me all your children's books. I meant to get you to read them to me while you were here, but we were a little distracted." He laughed softly, and I knew it was because he didn't want to wake her. "You are an amazing author, Bella. You know I love The Swan Song, but these are, without a doubt, as well written."

"Do you have a favorite one?"

"I loved them all, but I guess, at least for tonight, I was preferential to the one about the Firefly family."

"Really?" I wouldn't have guessed that one.

"Yeah. Your humor came through in it. It was amazing how you had them all bickering, but that their love for one another came through as well. I used it to explain to Samantha about the relationships within our family. You know Emmett; I think she's a little intimidated by him."

"He'll win her over."

"Certainly, but I saw her tensing several times when we'd get loud. I wanted her to know that it doesn't mean that we were going to hurt each other."

"Good call. So I guess since you have sensitive ears around, I can't talk dirty to you."

"Bella!" My name was a groan, and I snickered at the slight tinge of horror to it.

I was too emotionally drained to do anything racy, but it'd been good to tease him. "I love you," I told him, pulling the extra pillow over to wrap my arm around it.

"I love you too." I heard the yawn after his words.

"Go to bed, Edward. Call me in the morning."

"'Kay." He hesitated, and I could sense he was trying to find the right words. Finally, he huffed out in frustration, "Sweet dreams, love."

"Sweet dreams, Edward."

I hoped he was asleep within minutes, because I wasn't. I watched the window, unable to distinguish much beyond, but I could see the shadows as they flitted across it. Finally, when my eyes began to burn I closed them.

It was almost impossible to sleep without him.

_But you need the time to think_, a voice said.

_Well…then good thing you're going to have so much of it, considering you aren't sleeping_, another snarked.

Pulling the pillow closer and drawing in a big deep breath of the smell of his shirt, I began counting sheep.

What seemed an hour later, I gave up and moved to the closet, pulling open the door and then using a small step ladder I kept there to pull down the box I'd had Jake store high in the corner. My memories - things I hadn't seen in over fifteen years. Running my fingers over the inconspicuous cardboard container, I took several fortifying breaths before I opened the lid. Pictures after pictures stared out at me. I knew that I'd find posed ones of us in fancy clothes mixed in with a multitude of candid shots. To the side were only a few items, and it was those that I'd wanted to see. I'd come back to the pictures later, possibly with Esme, but for now, it was the keepsakes I wanted to touch.

Pulling the first one to me, I shook the shirt out, grinning at the threadbare condition. It was Edward's old Forks High T-shirt. Unlike the one I was wearing, it no longer smelled of him, but his name was printed across the back of it. I'd stolen it from him many years ago, and I could still remember the thrill I'd experienced as a teenage girl at putting it on. I remember feeling "branded" or "taken" as I'd worn it. I'd even put it on a couple of times after his betrayal, but when my belly had gotten too big, it'd been packed away with my photos. His smile, the night he'd caught me wearing it…the night he'd snuck in my window…had been blinding. I could clearly recall how hungry his eyes had become. Afterward, he'd smoothed the shirt over me, whispering harshly at how good I looked in his clothes.

Setting the shirt aside, I moved to the next item. It was a DVD. Edward had recorded several pieces for me. It'd been how we'd first come together…the day I overheard him playing the piano at school and realized just how lonely he'd seemed. Now that I knew the whole of their story, I realized that I'd also heard the anguish in the magic he'd created. What I attributed solely to being the angst of a teenage boy had really been the attempts of said creature to deal with unspeakable demons. I suddenly wanted to know when he'd planned to tell me. It was a topic we hadn't discussed. But in my hands was his way of attempting to communicate with me back then. He'd given it up! The thought made me unspeakably sad. Remembering Esme's tears, I realized I wasn't the only one.

Only two items remained. I chose the largest of them. Contained within a Ziploc was the corsage he'd given me for Prom. So very proper, he'd insisted, even though I felt the tradition silly. Creamy white roses were surrounded by sprigs of freesia. He'd had Esme's help in finding someone to preserve it. The night had been so special for us…we'd shared our first kiss.

~SOMP~

Sixteen years previous…

Electric lights, woven through trellises, sparkled above us as the cool night air turned almost too chilly. The courtyard of the school had been turned into a tacky garden, compliments of the junior class. Whoever's idea it had been to attempt a "Secret Garden" theme should've been shot. But who was I to know. I would've been perfectly comfortable staying at home or watching a movie. But no; Edward had insisted, and seeing him in a tuxedo had made everything I'd endured under Alice's hands worth it.

I would've been more comfortable had she'd come with us, but when I'd joked about her doing so, she'd turned panicky.

"_Let it go, Bella. I don't know of anyone I'd want to go with anyway."_ She'd seemed so sad.

But Edward…more specifically, Edward in a tuxedo, distracted me from worrying over his sister. We did some sort of shuffle that was supposed to pass for dancing. I didn't care, because the press of him against me and the smell of his aftershave had me intoxicated. It would seem that I wasn't the only one having trouble. He kept glancing at my lips and when I caught him, he'd blush and glance away.

Edward McCain's song, I'll Be, came on and the moment seemed magical…my Edward's emerald eyes looking down at me. He'd been my shoulder to cry on, just as the song said, and I knew in that moment that beyond a doubt that my Edward and I belonged together. The struggle for both of us seemed to increase, and I could've sworn that several times he started to lean down to kiss me. When he'd catch himself, he'd cough nervously, and I saw him licking his lips in habit. Didn't he know I was as nervous as him? I'd never kissed anyone before. Jake had once said that we should practice on each other, but the thought of kissing him, even just for practice, had left me feeling nauseous.

So Edward, when we could work up enough courage, would be my first kiss. The thought of the gorgeous boy in my arms actually wanting to kiss me…ME!...still made me want to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming. The night was drawing to a close, so soon we shuffled to the last song and made our way to his car.

The ride home was quiet, but he reached over to hold my hand and the feel of his skin against mine was intoxicating.

"Are you cold? I can turn up the heat?" he asked.

I reached up and adjusted the raw silk scarf that he'd also given me. It was sapphire blue to match my dress and was perfect to cover the skin of my bare shoulders. Surprisingly, it was very warm. Perhaps it was just me, but I couldn't help but think that it was because I imagined it was his hands caressing my skin instead of the material. Either way, I was fine.

"No, I'm okay. Thanks."

"Was it so bad, Bella, being with me at the prom?'

"No…" I smirked "…it was amazing. Thank you for forcing me to go."

"I had the most incredible time too. You know…I would love to take dance lessons with you some time. I felt like such a klutz out there on the dance floor."

"What! I'm the klutz, not you," I refuted.

"I've never…"

"I'm the one…"

And we started laughing at the unusual nervousness between us. He squeezed my hand softly.

"See, I'm getting you home on time, just like Chief Swan demanded." He nodded toward the clock.

We still had fifteen minutes to spare as we pulled onto my street. When he stopped the car, I waited patiently. He'd finally won on the whole opening doors for me. Holding his hand, I rose like a princess from the car. For that is what I felt like…a princess on a date with Prince Charming.

I saw my dad peek out of the blinds, and then he shut them…thank God. I would've had to embarrass him at work if he so much as put a crimp in this date.

When we reached the porch, Edward squeezed my hand gently before reaching to brush a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"With your permission, I'd like to have your corsage preserved."

"Okay…" I answered, unsure. Wouldn't pressing a couple of petals between some pages of a book be okay? Obviously not. I held my hand up so that he could remove the wrist corsage. "It is beautiful, Edward."

"It's all right," he answered, ducking his head in embarrassment, before bringing his eyes back to me. They blazed with desire. "But I wouldn't use the word beautiful, not with you standing here in comparison."

I swayed on my feet at the power of his magnetism and ended up placing my hand on his chest to steady myself. He placed one of his on top of mine holding it over his beating heart. Bringing the corsage up, he used one of the rose buds to brush across my cheekbone and then down across my lips.

My gasp should have brought my father running.

Edward groaned at the sound and then slowly he lowered his lips to just above mine. "Bella," he whispered…his breath fanning over me, and then everything went still as his lips pressed to mine.

Fisting my hand into the fabric of his tuxedo, I pulled him in closer, pressed a little harder as he touched our lips to each other over and over. Electricity raced across my skin, causing goose bumps to cover every square inch of me. Pulling my hand from his, I reached up to thread my fingers through his hair, tugging at the strands to make him deepen the kiss. When his lips parted and his tongue ran across my lips, I collapsed against him, shivering when his arms wrapped around me, pulling me impossibly closer.

But not close enough. I wanted to crawl into his skin, to live within him.

Neither of us knew what we were doing, but as our tongues brushed against each other, it was perfect.

The light flipping on and off had us jumping apart.

I was going to kill my father. Absolutely kill him.

My heart thundered in my chest, and I was gasping for breath. Panting, Edward stood just feet from me. He looked nervously toward the door, but then grinned bashfully at me. "I guess that is your father's way of telling me goodnight."

~SOMP~

When I reemerged from my memories, my fingers were at my cheek, as if I could feel the phantom brushes of the rose against it.

It'd been the night of our first kiss.

Our love had been frozen by misunderstandings and calculations, unlike the corsage which had been preserved with love and patience. The flowers were pure and beautiful. With patience and love, perhaps we could be once again as well. Reaching over to the nightstand, I picked up the scarf that Emmett had returned to me and placed it into the box alongside the corsage.

The last item sat before me on the bed. My hand actually shook as I went to pick it up. It was such a small package to mean so much.

When I opened the lid, the sapphire sparkled even in the low light. Embedded in the nest of intertwined platinum twigs…yes, I knew what it was now that Edward had created…the deep blue heart lay protected. The bird's nest that lay on the satin that made up the creation that protected the heart was a twisty mess. It was much like my and Edward's lives…twisted and irrational, but somehow disorder had brought us back together. I just wondered if it would build that which would shelter us, make us stronger again.

Edward…

I looked back to the items I'd placed in the box. The t-shirt reminded me of his possessiveness and need to take care of me. The DVD showcased his talent and how he'd wanted to share it with me. We'd spent hours in his music room while he allowed his soul to pour out onto the keys. It'd been magic; seeing my daughter join in had been surreal. The silk scarf and rose corsage showed his romantic streak, and the necklace…his unselfishness. I'd always wondered why he hadn't bought that Fender Stratocaster he'd wanted so badly. I'd figured it out the day I'd been desperate and considered having to sell my necklace. The rage I'd felt when the pawn shop owner had touched it had answered the question as to if I could actually do it. I'd figured out another way to get groceries for us that week. It was just the one thing I hadn't been able to let go.

Thinking back on what I'd learned over the past couple of weeks, I realized that nothing had changed about Edward…he still possessed the attributes that had caused me to fall in love with him. Yes, we had a lot to fix, but we still had the foundation upon which to build. My chest felt just the slightest bit lighter.

Closing the box and leaving it beside me, I finally closed my eyes and floated off into a few hours of blissful sleep.

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><p><strong>Thoughts?<strong>

**I'll be sending out Demetri and Elizabeth for those that review.**


	54. SOMP Outtake Explosion

**Again it is my understanding that some of my review replies didn't come through. For those that didn't recieve it...**

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><p><strong>Elizabeth POV - Outtake from Memories<strong>

The doorbell rang just as I was pouring a glass of sweet tea. It was an addiction of mine; a throwback to my southern college roommate. I only indulged on occasion, but after having worked in my rose garden to prune it back for winter, I'd felt I deserved it. I wasn't expecting anyone, so I took a minute to look down at my clothing. Yoga pants and a tank I'd thrown on after my shower – shrugging my shoulders – at least I'd dried my hair. It was to be a lazy day for me, one of my few off, so whoever it was would have to deal with it.

_Damnit!_ Was my only thought when I looked through the peep hole.

I seriously considered just ignoring the door and walking away, but if he'd tracked me down this far, he most likely wasn't going to just leave.

"What can I do for you Mr. Velathri?" I asked as soon as he came into sight.

The man made my blood boil. Arrogant…egotistical…pompous… So why was it that all I really saw was how gorgeous he was? I growled at myself. I didn't suffer, nor had I ever suffered, from the so called "Bad Boy" syndrome and refused to fall down that slippery slope now.

For the briefest of seconds, I saw his eyes snap with fire at the cool dismissive tone of my voice. Then in fascination, I watched him calm inch by inch.

"I've come to make an earnest apology for my behavior. My parents had to call me on the carpet at the cookout, but as soon as I arrived home, my conscience began to harass me. I'm not sure which is more potent, my mother or myself, but she's been practicing the Evil Eye for longer." He shrugged. "However, I'm here under my own steam."

"Okay. Well thank you for coming. Your apology is accepted." I breathed a sigh of relief, believing that our conversation was finished. But when I started to close the door, his foot blocked me from doing so. I couldn't help the arch of my eyebrow.

"Invite me in for a moment, Elizabeth."

His voice was calm, but I was an expert on reading others…it was my job, after all, to see through to what others wanted to hide. He was nervous and hopeful at the same time.

"What purpose would that serve?" I murmured and saw the heat flash over him again. I'd sounded like a therapist I realized, and he hadn't liked the tone. Now who was acting childish? Huffing, I opened the door fully. "May I offer you a glass of sweet tea?"

"Sweet tea?" He grinned after stepping into my hallway. "That would be nice."

His interest in my home was clear as his eyes scanned the area around us. As I walked back toward the kitchen, I could almost feel him categorizing my style, mementos, and chosen decorative pieces. Call it a hazard of my profession, but I wondered what opinion he'd already formed from his survey. Grabbing a glass from the cabinet, I added ice from the fridge door and then pulled the pitcher from inside.

Nodding toward the bar area, I placed his glass in front of a stool and then sat across from him. He didn't waste time.

"I've reacted badly every time we've met. My mother was correct. My behavior around you has been reprehensible, and for that, I apologize. She suggested flowers as a way to appease you." A faint heat of blush appeared over his elegant cheekbones. "I wasn't certain that was truly appropriate. However…" He left off, placing a package on the table between us.

It was a book. A book? His peace offering intrigued me as little could. It should have been innocuous, but instead, it looked like a deadly snake waiting to lash out at me Refusing to show weakness, I reached over to turn it over.

Shelby Cobra: Fifty years

He took a drink of ice tea, while I gawked at what he'd given me. It was certainly not by chance that my car, my baby, was on the front cover.

"Um…thank you." Damn…I sounded like a tongue-tied teenager.

"I don't know who maintains her, but she's obviously your baby. I thought you might enjoy some of her history. I mean, isn't that what shri…I…I mean psychiatrists do? Look at the history to see the present and future."

His gift of apology had a degree of thought in it – I would give him that, but the fact that he'd almost called me a shrink again and that he'd determined that I didn't upkeep her myself infuriated me.

**Demetri POV**

I didn't know what I'd said to put the walls up again, but it was as obvious as the nose on her face that I'd done it. She wasn't wearing any makeup and was beautiful without it, but the lack of the stuff that women put all face made her blush of anger even more apparent. Her blue eyes glared at me as if I was something she needed to scrape off the bottom of her shoe.

"As I said, thank you for the gift. I'll see you out," she announced primly, quickly rising to her feet. I'd bet if I looked close enough, I'd see the hair on the back of her neck standing up.

"What did I say wrong?" I asked, trying to keep a lid on the temper this woman seemed to so easily incite.

She sneered. "The fact that you would have to ask is answer enough. I have other things to do today." She motioned with her hand back down the long, wooden-floored hallway.

Ill-mannered woman! Why had I even thought that coming here would make any difference? I'd tendered my apology as I'd wanted to and my mother had insisted. There was no other reason she and I would have to interact.

_Good riddance!_ I thought as I moved toward the front door.

But when she attempted to hand the book back, my control snapped. "That was a gift. I don't take things given in good spirit back…even from ill-tempered shrews like you."

She shrieked softly as she went to throw open the door and slapped the book to my chest.

Red hot…I was going to claim rage, because I was too embarrassed to call it what it was, raced through me dulling my sight and senses. It was too much, the venom…I couldn't back down…couldn't take my eyes off her furious face and the smell of her freshly washed hair engulfed me.

My instincts took over.

Slamming her to the wall beside the door, my lips took hers in a primal manner. God, I'd wanted to taste her since the first time she'd spit at me. Nothing prepared me for what it would be like, and when she gasped, in outrage or lust I didn't know, I took advantage, entering her mouth to mate with her while I pressed my hardness against her, felt her breasts pillow me and her nipples harden.

Dizzy from the feel and taste of her, I leaned into her further, pinning her against the wall and my aroused body. The moan that tore out of me when she moved against me made my chest vibrate and she shivered in response. The tug of her hands, which had somehow made their way into my hair, became harsh, almost painful, but it fueled the fire as the kiss between us turned frantic.

Had to have her…

Had to taste her...feel her…

She tugged at my shirt, and I almost fell to my knees when I felt her hand against the small of my back, her fingernails scraping across me in need. I moved to wrap my hands around her waist, to carry her to at least the living room I'd spied, but it required me to break contact with her lips.

Stunning… Her pupils were dilated and her breaths coming out in puffs just like me. Her lips were swollen from our kisses, and I wanted her so badly that I would die if I didn't get to touch her. Just a second or two to get her to the couch. But it was too long, and the magic disappeared like a puff of smoke as rational thought took hold.

Spinning in well defined defensive maneuver, she pinned my arm to my back.

"Get out!" she huffed furiously.

"Elizabeth…"

She expertly used the tension on my arm to hurry me forward and out onto the porch.

"Elizabeth, we need to talk!"

The door slamming in my face was my answer.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed!<strong>


	55. Foundation

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness.**

**You can either look at this as a day early or a week late. I apologize for skipping a week in posting. Real life, in the form of my six kids, caught up this week with summer vacation activities.**

**As I've mentioned several times over the past weeks, I'm having problems posting outtakes through direct message. First it was FF and then with Twilighted. So, I plan to do something different. I'll be posting the outtakes mid-week. I would still love to hear your thoughts in the form of reviews. For those of you that write, you know that reviews are an author's nirvana, for those that don't write…reviews are an author's nirvana. HA!**

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

"So, Mr. Buice asked whether or not Seth and I would be able to go on the trip at Christmas. I told him that I'd get you to call him." Carlie spooned a huge bite of macaroni and cheese into her mouth and chewed happily.

Putting the fork down on my plate, I took a deep breath. Sending her to Los Angeles, even with a supervised group, was damn scary. It would be the first time she'd be gone so far away. I tried to keep from screaming.

"You should see the look on your face," she hooted. "Mama, you know I'll be super careful, and Seth will be with me if Daddy agrees. You're going to have to let me be grown up some time or the other."

It was my time to snort. "Carlie, you know I trust you more than is probably wise, but LA is just so...big and busy."

"Tell Uncle Aro to offer up his place for the group. Mr. Buice said that they are still trying to find a hotel, and you know that Uncle Aro will have his caretaker watching us like hawks."

Hmm… That was actually a brilliant idea. The Velathris had a large house in Brentwood. Aro kept it for times when he needed to go for business or for when the family wanted to visit for fun. Carlie, Samantha, Jacob, Leah, and I had actually stayed there on a family vacation. It had multiple rooms and a large recreation room that could be the crashing point for a large group of the kids.

"How many others are going?" As soon as I'd asked the question, I saw the enthusiasm appear in her face.

"Just the ten of us who were involved in the original project." She used her fork to pick up a bite full of salad. "Imagine just how good this would look on my college applications," she threw out.

I shook my head at her attempt to con me. "Carlie, you aren't even in high school yet."

"But good universities have already begun to look at middle school stuff when they are choosing between two applicants. It can't hurt Seth or me to have it down that we completed the project. Mom, we did a good job with the short film. I know that the Los Angeles Film School really wants to schmooze us into considering going there by inviting groups to the showcase, but you know that neither Seth nor I want to go into show business. Yet, it is still a big thing to even be chosen. Mr. Buice's wife will be going to help supervise us. You could go as well, since some of the other parents are planning to go as chaperones."

She really wanted this and was desperate enough to offer for me to go along. She was right. It would be good for them, but I wanted to know the other parents going. I was certain that Aro would give up the house for the group, and I'd feel so much better knowing that they'd be behind closed gates when they weren't site seeing or attending the programs.

It wouldn't hurt to talk to Jake and Leah about it. "I tell you what. Let me speak to Jake and Leah. If they agree, and Aro will allow it, then I'll seriously consider it."

She grinned and nodded her head slightly. "Okay, that's fair."

We talked about her other school projects as we finished dinner. I'd spent the day, getting my correspondence answered, washing a few loads of clothes, and basically reorienting myself to the house and my previous obligations. Cooking dinner had made me feel much more comfortable in my own skin, as if things were returning to normal. I knew though that we needed to talk about what'd happened with us.

Clean up was short and sweet and within a few minutes, we were sitting on the couch together.

"So…how is it going with you and Daddy?" she asked subtly.

I decided to tease her back a little. "Which one?"

She rolled her eyes at me. It made me wonder just how often she'd done that before my eyesight was restored.

"Ha! Funny!"

"Let me ask you a question before I answer yours. How do you feel about what has happened?"

She shrugged at me. "I really don't know what to say. When I went to their headquarters…" knowing she should be in big trouble about that, she blushed and looked embarrassed "…I never expected to actually meet him or them. I thought the best I would get was a glimpse, and I guess I figured it would magically answer my question. But what I got was something very different."

I waited for her to continue, letting her have the silence to organize her thoughts.

"It's been kinda crazy," she finally admitted. "I mean, at first, I asked myself how they could like me so much, so quickly. I wondered if it was just because I'm 'blood,' so to say, or was it because they were trying to make up for lost time, or just that they really like me."

She looked down into the glass of lemonade she'd brought from dinner before taking a long drink and then putting it to the coffee table. Turning directly to me, she pulled knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

"You said that you felt that way at first…and now?"

"They love me." She left off at the statement, letting it sink into the room around us.

"Yes, they do," I said with a nod. "Very much so.

"But when I realized that, it scared me more in a way, because they loved and still love you the same, and look how they treated you. It made me wonder if someday they might turn on me as well if I did something wrong."

It took everything I had to keep from pulling her into my arms to calm her fears. The only reason I didn't was that she was using the past tense when she spoke about it, so I wanted to see if she would tell me what had changed. My ploy worked.

"I guess it helped me that I made a big mistake as well, letting my mouth runoff at the competition and then with what happened to Daddy. I know this is going to surprise you, but I have a temper, and it gets away from me sometimes." She quirked her eyes at me, and we both broke out laughing. Carlie's temper certainly existed, but she was so much more mature about it than she needed to be. She was wise enough to always go back and apologize when she let it get the best of her. Jake had taught her that, and I considered it one of his finest gifts to her. "It helped me understand how he might have done something in an irrational moment that he would regret for all these years. Can I ask something though?" She looked at me and at my nod asked the big one. "Why, or maybe I should say, how did he believe that you'd betray him?"

"Hmmm…I don't know all the answers there, baby. But there were some pictures that were pretty incriminating, and we know that he'd just been betrayed in the most horrible way. When I met him, Edward had cut himself off from the world. I thought at first that it was because he was stuck up, but I realized, as I got to know him, that he was really just shy and uncertain of his own worth. I didn't really understand then, but I think I have a better picture of it now."

"Doesn't excuse what he did, just like my saying sorry doesn't really excuse what I said to him."

She had a unique perspective, and again, I wondered just how she'd gotten so wise for such a small thing.

"Grandfather Billy told me once about him and Grandpa…about how they would fight like cats and dogs." At my astonished look, she grinned. "He was sharing stories about Grandpa Charlie, because he knew I wanted to hear them." She shrugged gracefully. "Anyhow, I told him after hearing some of them that it sounded like he and Grandpa Charlie fought a lot considering they were friends. He laughed and admitted that at first they did say a lot of mean things to one another, but they figured out a way to forgive each other and that they learned to curb their tongues. He used a legend, of course, but I remembered it, or more precisely the morale to it, after I was so mean to daddy. 'Sometimes granddaughter, you have to discern what the nature of the spirit is. Does the person possess a spirit of love or anger? For certainly, spirits of love are capable of anger, and at the same time, spirits of anger can be capable of love. But there is always a true spirit, and that is what you need to find.'"

I couldn't help the laughter that bubbled out of me, because I could see Billy pulling that story on Charlie. And I could also see my dad's eyes crossing. He most likely would have mumbled something about "hocus-pocus." It had been his favorite way to harass Billy.

"I'm not mean, but my tongue just gets away from me at times. I called Grandfather while Daddy was in the hospital and told him what I'd done." That shocked me. "His silence was horrible."

I snickered, having been the recipient of that same response from Jacob's father. Then I realized that Carlie might think I was laughing at her. Her face was blank as if she was attempting to control tears. I panicked until she broke and began laughing as well.

"I hate it when he does that," I admitted to her. "It makes you feel like a little bug under a big microscope."

"Oh my God! Yes! That's it exactly." We both strove to control our mirth. Then she continued, "But it made me think… And after being around them…"

"You determined that the mistakes they made were not really in character for them."

"Yeah, and you?"

"I am working on forgiveness."

"Daddy helps a little, right?" She giggled and waggled her eyebrows at me.

A blush burned up my face, but I refused to allow her to ruffle me. "Stop!"

"Well, you have to admit he is a really nice person, and he has a good job, so he'll be able to keep you in the 'style you've become accustomed to', and he's smart…"

Minx… She was harassing me. The waggling eyebrows were clearly referring to his good looks.

"Carlie, how would you feel if your father and I didn't get back together?"

She tried hard, but I could see the anxiety. "Mama, if you can't love him again, then I'll understand. I just want you to find happiness. It's all I've ever wanted. I just thought after the last couple of days…" she blew out a breath of frustration "…well."

I put her out of her misery. "Carlie, I do love him still." She grinned broadly, but I needed to temper it. "Slow, okay? I still need to find my space with them."

"Sure! Sure!" she mumbled just like Jacob. But she turned serious. "You have to learn to trust him again, I understand."

"Not just him, Carlie. I need to learn to trust myself again too."

Our girl bonding time was cut short by the realities of life…mainly; she had an assignment she had to complete the next day. So, when the phone rang, I grinned seeing Edward's cell number pop up.

"Hey!" I said softly.

"Bella…"

I heard the stress in his voice. "What's wrong?"

"Have you seen Sunday's paper? I didn't get to it until this evening because the physical terrorist came and we had to set up the torture room, and then she worked Samantha and me hard."

"No, why?"

"Do you get the paper?"

"Yes."

"Go get it. I think you'll understand better if you see it versus me telling you. Look at the sports section."

Walking to the door, I went outside and reached into the box where the paperboy was kind enough to place it for me. It was one of the advantages of being visually impaired - no hastily thrown paper for me.

"Okay, I got it. Let me get to the bar so I can open it. By the way, good evening?"

I heard his breath rush out and then a slight chuckle. "I'm sorry, Bella. Good evening. How was your day?"

"Good. I did some catching up on email correspondence. Leslie was riding my rear for not responding about the new book. I sent a curt reply back about her lack of understanding, and she sent me a text, in response, letting me know she thought I was being slack. You know…the usual banter between a writer and her agent." I told him this as I paged through the paper.

Then I saw it.

_Football Frenzy, Love, and Secrets! Cullen Playboy - has he finally scored?_

Below the headline were two pictures. The first was of Edward and me kissing as we exited the stadium just behind Leah and Jake. The crowd had moved around us, but the photographer had caught us clearly. It was a good picture, and the passion between us couldn't have been more obvious. It was as if we were in our own little world in the midst of a storm. The second picture had caught him smiling down at me as I grinned up at him just after we'd broken apart, just before I'd teased him about not knowing if he was the better kisser or if the unnamed frat boy had shown him up. The two placed together, in the manner they were, made it abundantly clear that there was more to the relationship than just a quick fling. I was surprised that they hadn't snapped me dragging him forward by the shirt. I could only imagine the headline for that one.

So…okay, we'd been caught. "Edward, why are you upset about this?"

"They have no right!" He spat out, but then he went quiet. "Okay…I don't really care about that. I just didn't want you to be upset. I didn't know if you wanted people to know that we were seeing each other."

Ah…his thoughts were of me first. That was actually nice. "It's fine. If what you've told me is true, they chase you everywhere. It was only a matter of time."

"Yeah, but…hell…it just isn't fair. I wanted to keep this to ourselves until we feel more settled with everything."

"Well, maybe they'll leave you alone now. You'll be dull and boring, being with a woman for more than, hey, a couple of months." I'd meant it to be funny, but then realized how he might take it. And of course, I was correct.

"Oh God, Bella! I don't know whether to laugh about that or not." I cringed when he was silent for a few moments. "Look…I know it is something we still need to talk about. You said that it didn't matter, but I just can't see how it doesn't. I'll let you tell me when you're ready, but I needed you to know that I believe it to be something we really do need to discuss." He was silent for a few more moments. "You look beautiful. It's the only article about me that I think I'll save. I'll have it laminated."

His wistful tone and words made me laugh. "You sound like such a boy."

"Just a boy in love," he quipped back. "Do you have any preferences for lunch tomorrow?" he asked.

"Nah! Surprise me," I challenged.

"Okay. I'll do my best. I miss you. Even with Carlisle's magic pill, I didn't sleep well last night."

"I know…the same here."

It was hard not to go into the words about missing him beside me. I did, tremendously, but I couldn't let that sway me. "I need to talk to you about a trip Carlie wants to make when you get here tomorrow. Don't let me forget."

"Okay. Wow…responsibilities," he teased, causing the tension to break.

We spent a few more minutes talking about his day, me checking on his progress with physical therapy, and him filling me in on how Samantha had done. The yawn that cut into the conversation was mine this time.

"Go to bed, love. I'll see you around noon tomorrow. God I miss you!"

Warmth spread out from the region of my heart at hearing how serious he was about it. "I miss you too."

At least this time my sleep was disturbed by nervous anticipation. Carlie just grinned at me as she left for school. She was wise enough to have made me coffee. A full pot of it.

I was a wreck by the time Edward should've arrived. I'd done the girl thing, ie…taken a shower, blow-dried my hair, and actually attempted some makeup. Considering I really hadn't bothered in over fifteen years…having Leah or Carlie to do it on the occasions I needed it…I didn't think I did too bad. A little foundation, eyeliner, mascara, and some gloss.

Then I'd looked in my closet for inspiration, but I'd given that up pretty quickly and went with jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt. There was no reason to be anything other than me.

But my nerves and reactions said differently, because the energy floating through my body wasn't normal…it was electrifying. When the clock seemed determined to drive me crazy, I finally decided to sit down and check my email again. A good rousing debate with Leslie would definitely keep my mind occupied. I was almost done with my book…just the last few chapters to do…but she didn't need to know that. It was part of our dance.

I found instead an email from Robert. He'd arrived in London and was setting up an apartment, or "flat" as he jokingly referred to it. He was to meet the new author within the week. I laughed when I saw that he ended the email with another request for me to visit England, with an additional invite for Edward to accompany me.

I wondered just how that would go? The visuals made me smile. For some reason, they were distracting enough that I didn't hear the car stop or door close. So the knock at the door, startled me, making me squeak in a guilty manner. Closing the computer down, I quickly made my way to the door.

An immortal god waited me on the other side. I tried hard to cover my gasp when I saw him and grinned to see that he was in jeans and another long-sleeved t-shirt as well. His hair was growing longer, and I wondered if he would trim it back some when he returned to work, while at the same time hoping he didn't. He'd shaven, and the smell of his aftershave washed over me making me dizzy with need. My first instinct was to rise on my tiptoes and run my tongue across his jaw.

Probably not a good idea considering how much he was carrying. He was toting a large bag in his right hand. It had the logo of one of my favorite restaurants on it. In his left hand was another one and two bouquets of flowers. He was also wearing a book bag and a look that told me he was as bemused to see me as I was him.

"Moving in?" I teased, attempting to right myself after the thrill of looking at him.

His eyes went wild at the implication. "I…I…"

Busting out laughing at his reaction, I reached down for the food. A girl had priorities. As I expected, as soon as I took the bag out of his hand, it went straight to his hair, tugging ferociously.

"God, you're adorable - especially when you're flustered. Come on," I nodded inside the house. It felt good that I could throw him off balance.

But the hair on the back of my neck stood up when he leaned down and breathed against my hair. "No fair, Bella. Two can play at that game."

Shivers ran down my back at the promise in his words, and I was immediately extremely aware of him. I could feel the heat of him behind me and my body reacted. He attempted to avoid looking at my chest, but mostly failed as he placed the other bag and then his book bag on the couch. My nipples gave away just how turned on I already was. Moving into the kitchen and placing the food on the counter, I reached for some plates but barely kept from dropping them when he caged me against the marble of my countertop.

His fingers brushed my hair from my neck and when his lips touched my skin, it was all I could do to keep from groaning out loud. He nipped my skin lightly, smoothing over the sting with his tongue in a comforting manner. But comforting it was far from as goose bumps stood out across my shoulder and chest in reaction. Leaning my head in the opposite direction, I gave him full access to the curve of my neck, and he worshiped every square inch of exposed skin before moving to my ear. My thighs clenched in reaction when he bit down on the lobe of my ear gently and then swirled the tip of his tongue over the folds.

"Edward…" I moaned out.

"Yes love…"

His hands grabbed my hips, bringing me back into him, and the thick hardness pressing into my back told me that I wasn't the only one intensely turned on.

My senses took control, making the throb almost intolerable.

Turning in his arms, I attacked his lips, running my fingers through his hair and pulling him tightly to me as I forced his mouth open and swirled my tongue inside. Heat pooled in my belly and radiated from between my legs. When he reached for my hips, lifting me to the countertop so that I could wrap my legs around him, I screamed a little into his mouth when my heat pressed against his erection. Clenching my legs, I pushed against him and his fingers tightened almost painfully against me.

Had to breathe…

No! Breathing was overrated. There was no need to…

"Please," I gasped when I finally had to tear my lips from his. I was being pretty nonspecific, but he understood.

I didn't need to do anything as he used the grip he had on my hips to pull me against him snugly, moving my body against his. I was going to cum…like I'd done with him in the back of his car as a teenager…like I'd done recently. When it hit, I could care less that I was still fully clothed and acting like a hormonal kid. I screamed out his name when he bit slightly into the muscles of my shoulder taking me over the edge.

Having all but backed out from the pleasure, I roused to find Edward panting against my shoulder, his breath puffing out my hair and racing along my skin, while I did the same against his chest. Leaning back, I looked up into his face; his pupils were dilated in pleasure and his green eyes had darkened considerably. Slowly, gently he leaned down and placed his lips to mine.

I wanted him naked on the floor at once…AARGH!

When I went to reach for him, he stopped my hands. "Not yet. Need to talk." He sounded harsh and out of breath. I sighed and gently brushed my lips against his.

This time his thumbs brushed softly against my cheekbones. "Hello love." He smiled against my lips.

"You're killing me," I said softly, wanting nothing more than to pull his shirt away and run my lips over his chest.

"Sorry." But he sounded anything but. "I just had to get that out of my system. I've been dreaming of kissing you for two days now."

A delicious throb between my thighs reminded me of the heights he'd just taken me to. "I don't think that is all you dreamed of?" I noted mischievously.

He chuckled harshly. "Absolutely not." His hand gentled down my backbone. "But, I came to feed you woman, not attack you. I have no control around you," he grumbled, kissing softly along my jaw line.

My groan was pathetic. Eat? Play around? Eat? Play around? What a choice. Opening my eyes, I saw the adoring but adamant look on his face. He wasn't going to allow me to touch him until he spoke about whatever was on his mind.

"Let's eat then," I grumped.

I felt like a part of me was being removed when he pulled away, and when he reached up to slide me off of the countertop, I tried to stop him. "Your wound!" I hissed.

He laughed like a little boy. "Bella, you weigh maybe a hundred pounds soaking wet. I think I can manage lifting you."

The devil in me had me almost shouting that he could take me to bed then, but I barely stopped her. It was close…very close. His erection strained against his jeans, and I questioned my acquiescent. I was betting that if I touched him, I could convince him to give up his plans.

Yeah…right…

Handing him the plates, I bravely pointed toward the bar in an attempt to harness the still needy demon in me. Having seen the cooling bag snuggled inside the white one, I also grabbed two wine glasses and placed them on the marble before reaching under to pulling out vases for my and Carlie's flowers. Fixing them would help distract me.

"I remembered that you really liked seafood and pasta, so I stopped by and picked up several dishes. I bought enough so that you wouldn't have to cook tonight." I watched as he opened the various boxes, and the smell of the pasta permeated the air. It was almost as luscious as the smell of him. Not quite…but close.

Putting the flowers in the vases, I grabbed bowls as well when I saw the salad in one of the larger boxes.

"It all looks good. Surprise me," I told him as I took the items I'd retrieved to the table.

He brought the Seafood Portofino along with a box full of rolls. They were floating in garlic butter, and the smell had my mouth watering. Pulling out the chair for me to sit, he waited until I did so to put the box in front of me.

"Oh my!" I smacked my lips at the offering, and he chuckled at the sound.

"I know; I'm hungry as well."

"Thank you for the roses. They're beautiful." I blushed because our conversation of the days before came back to me. His declaration that I was the most beautiful thing to him in the world was incredibly seductive.

"Ah…my day is complete now," he announced seeing it, and I smirked at him and his flattery.

Reaching over softly to take my hand, he quickly said a prayer of thanksgiving. Then pulling my plate to him, he said, "let me." Spooning pasta on to my plate, he then filled my salad bowl and held out the rolls for me to choose one. The wine was next, and he served me as if it was a great pleasure to do so, and I was reminded of when he'd done this for me the first time. He'd taken me to Port Angeles for dinner as one of our first dates, and I hadn't been quite sure how to handle his archaic, gentlemanly behavior. He'd held out the chair, waited until I ate the first bite, and generally been aware of my needs even before I'd had to ask. It'd been strange at first, but then I'd grown to really appreciate being treated so reverently.

For a few minutes, we were silent, enjoying the first bites of the lunch.

"I had a very good session with Elizabeth today," he said, breaking the silence.

Ah…so this is what he wanted to speak about. I didn't expect him to share things from their time together, because I knew that he'd been going to see her long before our first meeting. So for him to bring it up was interesting. I wasn't naïve enough to believe that they didn't talk about us, but I knew I wasn't the only reason he went. It was a point of much satisfaction for me, because my time with Dr. Green had been beneficial even if it had cost me a bunch of money.

"Good. I hope you thanked her again for stopping by."

"I did, and mom has already called to set up an appointment with the therapist she recommended for Samantha." He'd been putting a bite of pasta to his mouth, but put it back down to the plate. "I…I…didn't want to ruin today talking about serious stuff, but I would just like to address one thing before I propose a standing gag order for the rest of the day."

I grinned at his choice of words. "Sure!"

He caught my look of humor and bit his lower lip while looking a way for a moment. It was an adorable mannerism and made him look about ten years old. Then he coughed softly as if he was attempting to clear his throat. "We talked about sex. Well, I should be honest, she and I have talked about that a lot in regards to how I used it. I know why I couldn't or wouldn't open up to others for anything more, but I came to a realization today during our session."

I nodded for him to continue when he glanced up at me. He struggled for a moment to maintain eye contact, but then it seemed he found his resolve. The green seemed to blaze with fire for a moment before he began talking again. "I have been being as disrespectful to you as I was to them."

"Huh?"

He cringed for a moment before starting again, "Sex, with the women I've been with over the years, was simply that, sex. I wouldn't hesitate to say more so while I was using, because I can't be for sure I was even respectful during that time. When I cleaned up, I attempted to meet those needs in a very cold and logical manner, but I never allowed for the possibility of a relationship."

This wasn't news and I told him as much. "Right, but you and I have already discussed that."

"But Elizabeth actually challenged me today with something I hadn't considered." His grin this time was one of embarrassment. "She suggested that I might unintentionally put similar roadblocks up in our relationship as well."

I was totally confused because I thought that he'd put it all out there and was willing to commit in an instant to us. "I'm not sure I understand."

He huffed slightly, but kept his eyes trained to mine. "Well, there was a whole lot of talk about how I didn't feel good enough for you, which, by the way, I don't. But more than that, it was the fact that I might be a little too careful about the physical side of our relationship because I would want to 'make it special.'"

I hooted as the blush stole over his cheekbones. Dr. Paschal had this man pegged. God bless her!

"She very primly indicated that my withholding affection in that manner would be just as disrespectful of you as my withholding the possibility of intimacy with the others was to them." One of his hands tugged at his hair in anxiety. "God, Bella, I don't know how to navigate the mess I've made, and I told Elizabeth as much. I told her about what happened…how you called me on my…stuff." He grinned and shook his head. "She suggested that this would be a very good topic of conversation to discuss with you."

He reached over to place his hand on top of mine and squeezed gently.

"I'm desperate to make as few mistakes as possible this time around. So, I am willing to take any advice from her, Carlisle, a tree…" I snorted at the passion in his words and the message "…whomever or whatever it takes to work through this, but I do believe the most important person to talk about it with is you. I'm grateful, however, for her at least encouraging me." He actually closed his eyes for just a moment, as if he was finding courage.

"Bella, I love you. Nothing will ever change that. The desire I feel for you, well, it can't be compared to anything or anyone. I made a myriad of mistakes, Tanya being the worst and one we still need to talk about. But we are on the topic of intimacy…" He blew out a breath. "I only know how to be that way with you. Because all the necessary components are there…my heart, my soul, my mind…my dreams and aspirations. It is the whole package. I think you really have to have that in order to find a true connection with someone. Even if I'd tried with the other women, I wouldn't have found it. It still doesn't mean it wasn't disrespectful to them for not trying, but I know myself."

He took a small sip of the wine he'd poured us. For courage or to wet his throat, I didn't know.

"I had Carlisle run all the tests that needed to be done while I was in the hospital, and they'd been done a little over six months previous, as was my normal protocol. I didn't have sex with the woman that Carlie saw me with in the papers…the fix wasn't working anymore…and it'd been some time since my last attempt. I'm as clean as I'll ever be in that area, other than having to deal with the realization of what I became. It was important for me to tell you this, because if and when the time comes for us to…" his eyes blazed again "…make love, I didn't want the unknown to stand between us."

This time I squeezed his hand, urging him to continue.

"Being intimate is as critical to any relationship as being honest, trustworthy, and committed. In fact, I would say that the latter three are as much crucial components to intimacy as touching, kissing, and making love. Given the chance to satisfy what I want…we'd be in your bedroom right now, and I'd be feasting upon you.

"But I need your assessment of my honesty, trustworthiness, and commitment to be at the point that you feel safe with the intimacy of making love. Since we know I'm clueless as to how to navigate the landmines I laid down in the last fifteen years, I'm coming to you as my other half to help me. I promise not to go puritanical on you when you decide what you want. But I also need you to understand why I'm letting you…or at least asking you…to make the calls on that. I guess what I'm really saying is that I trust you and your decisions."

It felt like the earth beneath me shifted. I was a little off balance, but in some weird, crazy way, I understood what he'd said and felt empowered by his desire for me to be in control. He'd said it before, but now I understood. But did that mean he wasn't going to make any moves? The encounter in the kitchen had been pretty bold, so it didn't make sense.

_Just ask_, the voice inside my head told me.

"That kiss…" I nodded to the kitchen "…was pretty hot. I'm not sure I gave you permission to make me cum on my countertops."

At my words, his eyes flared wide and darkened, and I was immediately reminded that Edward was a superbly sexual creature. He'd gone from a man pleading his case to someone I wanted to consume instantaneously. I realized that when I set him loose, that I was going to be the recipient of his considerable sexual prowess. If there was anything to be had from his behaviors of the past, it would be that I'd be the focus of what he'd learned, the skills he'd refined, and the whole of his desires.

Poor me… I grinned in delight and actually thought I heard him hiss at my actions. "Fire, Bella…you're playing with it," he murmured.

"Ohh…I know." I shuddered. "But imagine how exquisite the burn will be…"

He croaked out, "You'd given me permission to kiss you and then you pleaded with me. Are you rescinding it?"

I shivered in pleasure. "Absolutely not. Do your worst with those lips Mr. Cullen. I'll deal with it."

His hands clenched on the table as if he had to restrain himself. Call me a bitch, but it made me feel like a million dollars. Then adeptly, he turned the tables, and the predator came out to play. Passion lit his face and he transformed in front of me. It was in the loosening of his muscles, the turn of his head, the slant of his eyes, and the way he watched me.

My words had changed everything; I was the prey now.

The thrill shot through me, and if he'd reached for me at that moment, I would have begged him to take me to my bedroom. Instead, he turned my hand over and brushed his thumb across my skin. Then he raised it to his lips and nibbled softly. When he nipped the ends of my fingers, I squeaked out in surprise. It had been right on the borderline of pleasure and pain. Oh God…

"Eat," I hoarsely said.

His grin was seductive. "Eat what?"

Squeaking… "Food."

This time, his grin reminded me this time of a hungry wolf ready to devour meal. "Of course…what else would we be talking about?"

What else indeed?

I did my best to taste the meal he'd served me, but his knowing glances told me that I failed to do so in a normal manner. It might have to do with the way I squirmed on the seat trying to relieve the pressure or the way I stared at his lips. Somehow, I didn't choke.

The second bag, much to my delight, contained a homemade apple pie, compliments of Esme. And he had to almost tear me away from the treat.

"For you and Carlie. Mom wanted to send you something."

"I'm going to save it for this evening. We can have it with some vanilla ice cream. Unless you have something else to do, why don't you stay? I'll get Jake or Leah to take you home later."

His delight at the invitation was clear. As we'd always done as teenagers, we cleaned the dishes up together and put away the food for dinner. Whether or not his brushes against me were intentional or not, I knew they drove me crazy, and by the time we sat down on the couch, I was a bundle of nerves and rekindled lust.

"I brought several things for us to do that I thought might interest you," he said low and soft as he reached for his bookbag. His tone was like velvet, warm and seductive.

I had to shake my head to clear the cobwebs, and I caught him smirking. He knew how he affected me. I was off this day, but I determined, in that moment, to pay him back from here forward. I wasn't without skills. He was going to suffer a little more before I touched him the next time. I wanted him needy.

Pulling out several videos, he chuckled. "I went for the tried and true and brought some movies. These are some of the ones that I really wanted to watch with you over the years."

I laughed at the collection. It contained several blockbusters, as well as, some independent names in genres from horror, to action, to romance. "But you had another plan that you questioned," I guessed.

"Yeah…"

"Let me see," I told him, turning my hand up and moving my fingers into my palm in a quick motion. He pulled out a small travel chess set, and my eyes must have been as big as owls. We'd played against each other for hours as kids, and usually our games ended up in heated dispute.

"So…you are in the mood to get whipped today?"

He actually growled at me before I realized the connotation of my words. "Oops!" I offered up, and he rubbed his hands over his face.

Finally, he chuckled. "I'm going to be the one to have a heart attack. Just tell the paramedics I went out happy."

"Happy…right…got it," I said very solemnly, placing my hand over my heart like I was making an oath.

It helped. Snickering at my sarcasm, Edward set up the board on the table in front of us.

So when Carlie walked in several hours later, it was to her parents viciously attacking each other, not on the couch as we both probably would have liked, but gleefully and strategically over a chess board.

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><p><strong>Thoughts?<strong>

**A/N: We are moving into some chapters that might get me thrown off of FF if my story is targeted. Just wanted to let you know that I am over on Twilighted under the same penname, just in case.**


	56. SOMP Outtake Seth

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who usually pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

**HOWEVER…any mistakes in this outtake are mine. There are only so many chapters you can ask these women to suffer through! HA!**

**As promised, here is the first weekly outtake.**

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><p><strong>Seth POV<strong>

Watching Aunt Bella flirt was an interesting pastime. Of course she didn't do it like most women…fluttering her eyes, being silly, or asking for compliments. For her, it was more of an openness to teasing and her allowance of Edward, as he'd asked me to call him, to wait on her. It was definitely a different side to her. She was usually so head-strong and independent that I'd had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming when she let him fawn all over her.

Carlie squeezed my hand several times when they would throw small insults back and forth at each other and then burst out laughing. It made her happy to see them this way…and what made her happy, made me happy. They reminded me of my mom and dad. My mom was the bull-headed one and kept my dad hopping. You would think it would be the other way around with my extremely large and physically able father domineering over my petite mom. Nah…not in my house….and not in Carlie's either. Edward was wrapped around Aunt Bella's finger. There was no other way around it.

Carlie had asked me over to have dinner with them at her father's request, and when I saw the pasta and then the homemade apple pie waiting me, it hadn't taken much convincing.

"So, Mom and Dad told me that you spoke to them about the trip to L.A….did you decide?" I asked, and before she could answer I added more. "I promise that Carlie and I will be safe. We won't venture out or do anything stupid. Dad said it would really depend on what you thought."

Aunt Bella narrowed her eyes on me, and like when my mom did it, I squirmed. What was it with moms? Did they get lessons in the stuff? _How to torture your kid 101_…

Carlie squeezed my hand tight, because she'd already told me that her mom and dad had spoken about it during the afternoon they'd spent together. She'd hoped to find out the answer as soon as she got home, but instead of being ready to speak to her, she'd found them arguing over chess. Actually, she'd described it as almost a war. Aunt Bella had accused Edward of cheating, and he'd been calling her a sore loser when Carlie walked through the door. She'd almost decided to leave, but then they'd turned to her all smiles.

I'd shrugged when she told me. They sounded just like my parents, and if that was anywhere near true…it would be a good thing.

Finally, Aunt Bella caved and grinned at me. "You are so cute when you're sweating. I'm going to talk to Aro tomorrow and then your teacher. If Aro and Mr. Buice will agree, then I think we're all good with it."

Carlie's yip of excitement startled me, but she quickly ran around the table to throw her arms around her mother and kiss her cheek before doing the same to her dad. In doing so, she missed the look between her mom and dad. I was betting that we'd have a tail in L.A., most likely one of the Velathri or Cullen employees, but I could care less. I planned to play by the rules, because I knew that it meant they'd trust us more and more. There'd been talk about a trip to New York next summer, and I had my eye on a bigger prize.

But for now, I would focus on the prize in front of me. The apple pie was to die for, and it made me wonder why all the Cullen men weren't fat. If my grandmother cooked like Mrs. Cullen, I would be. Edward and I grinned in manly bonding when we both snagged a second piece.

"So Seth, Carlie tells me you want to be a lawyer. What interests you about the field?" Edward asked.

I almost wanted to snarl at him because I had to put down the fork to answer, but I grinned when he stood and went to the freezer for more vanilla ice cream. I guess I could forgive him a little, I thought as he held out the ice cream scoop in question and then plopped down two big servings when I nodded enthusiastically.

"I want to go into environmental law." His eyes widened in real interest. "My grandfather still serves on the council, and it is quite obvious how the lawyers they hire don't always represent the First People well. The Quileute have always been a small tribe, but it isn't just their struggles that made me think about it. Mom's cousin, Emily…she's married to Sam…well, she's part Macaw and several years back they lost some big concession in regards to their land and the natural resources on it. You go farther up the coast and the Tlingit/Haidi tribe need to renegotiate with Sea-Tac. And so on and so on." I shrugged at him.

He nodded in understanding. "Learning the ropes of the corporate world won't be an easy job, but you'll need to know your enemies to outthink them. Emmett serves as our main business representative, but there is a string of other attorneys attached to the business. I'm certain he would love to have an intern over the summers. Have you spoken to Aro?"

I couldn't help the grin that cut across my face. His offer was a God-send. Aro had spoken already with me about working for them, but he practiced criminal defense…and although that would be intriguing, a good look at a thriving business would be priceless. I forced myself to answer him calmly through the excitement. "Yeah! Aro and Marcus have both volunteered for me to work with them, but I would love to speak with Mr. Cullen about it."

"Emmett," Edward, said quickly. "Just Emmett. Mr. Cullen, when that title is used, only pertains to my dad. And he doesn't even like it."

I'd call the man anything he wanted to be called as long as I was given the opportunity to do some grunt work. "Football practice keeps me pretty busy until after the season; do you think he would allow me to start after that? Maybe even getting a little time in during the school year as well?"

He was wise enough to look over to Aunt Bella. "As long as your mother and dad agree."

"I'll talk to Leah about it. I know she'd wanted Seth to work with her some, but there were all kinds of questions about propriety." She held her hand up and tapped her four fingers to her thumb as if someone was talking. "Blah…blah…blah."

Edward smiled mischievously at her, and it was if electricity popped between them. I wondered if the mannerism might not be something funny and meaningful between them. I had to turn away at the real emotion between them, and when I did so, I caught Carlie's slight blush and smile.

After dinner and clean up, we spread out over the table so that Edward could help Carlie and me with a life science assignment. I couldn't help but compare him to my dad, as he moved through the explanation of molecular biology. He was patient, and he made it simple, like my dad did. Enough to help me understand it…which was saying a lot. Carlie loved this stuff; me…not so much. I had her beat in math, but science – blah, blah, blah…as Aunt Bella would say! But with Edward's help I just might get that "A" I needed. Far be it for me to look a gift horse in the mouth.

I saw Aunt Bella giving him questioning looks as it grew dark. He did look tired, so I wasn't surprised when she asked what time his driver would be picking him up. He grimaced when he looked at the time and said, "Any minute now. The terrorist is coming early in the morning to whip Samantha and me into shape."

He looked unhappy about it, and I didn't know if it was because the PT was coming or because he had to leave. I was betting more on the second than the first. Sure enough, just a few minutes later, a discreet rap happened at the front door, and Edward's face fell. Grabbing his bag from where he'd left it on the couch, he shouldered it and then held his hand out to me.

"As always, Seth…it's been a pleasure."

He kissed Carlie's forehead and tweaked a piece of her long hair.

"Meme is still picking me up from school tomorrow. Since you helped Seth and I both finish up that assignment, do you mind us working on my next competition piece?" she asked quietly.

Aunt Bella and I both knew how much that meant to her. It was the one thing none of us had ever been able to do for her…keep up with her musical talent.

His eyes…her eyes lit in pleasure. "Of course!" he said with enthusiasm, before grabbing her hand to squeeze tightly.

"I'll walk you out," Aunt Bella told him, her eyes blazing with mischief.

Carlie attempted not to snicker. She actually did a fairly good job, but I knew her too well. She was trying not to break out in a fit of giggles. As soon as the door closed behind them, she moved to the window, trying to sneak a look out of it.

"Carlie Swan!" I whispered harshly, trying to get her away from the window.

She turned around and smiled at me, holding her index finger to her lips in an effort to tell me to be quiet. She peeked out again and the finger turned into her hand over her mouth as if she was attempting to hold in any squealing. Then like the devil she was…she reached over to the light switch and flipped it up and down several times to make the outside light flicker.

A loud thump against the door startled us both. It was if someone had bumped against it, and I was certain I heard some swearing. Carlie made to dive toward me in an effort to look innocent…and I was sure in an attempt to blame me, but Aunt Bella's voiced called out clearly, "Carlie Swan!"

She was so busted, but in true Carlie fashion she brushed it off, laughing hysterically as she came over to sit on the sofa. "Don't worry," she whispered. "One day they'll be doing that to us."

I was a fourteen year old boy, madly in love with the beautiful girl at my side. Looking over to her and watching her lips twitch in humor…I thought it couldn't be soon enough. Being good sucked sometimes.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed!<strong>


	57. Creation

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who usually pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

**HOWEVER…any mistakes in this chapter are mine. It has been a crazy week for us all.**

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

Trying hard to control the pain my impending departure caused in my chest, I exited the house behind Bella. It seemed silly for her to "walk me to my car," but then I realized that she'd solely done it so that we could have a few minutes alone. My outlook on life brightened considerably, and the pain ebbed slightly.

"Carlie's coming over tomorrow, but you still have me down to take the two of you to dinner on Thursday night, right?"

She grinned and patted her flat stomach. "You're going to make me fat with all this eating."

Cocking my eyebrow at her, I laughed softly. "I doubt that. In fact, I probably need to feed you more…you're tiny."

She smirked and shook her head at me. "I think there is a compliment in there somewhere."

"Bella, you're perfect," I said quickly and harshly, meaning the words more than she could know.

A slight chuckle preceded her grabbing my collar to pull me down for a kiss. My heart leapt into my throat when her lips brushed across mine. Feeling no need to make it more impassioned, I gently laced my arms around her waist, bringing her softly against me as our lips met in communion.

It was heaven.

Until Charlie's ghost haunted us, and we broke apart like guilty teenagers as the light flickered on and off around us. Unfortunately, several swear words escaped my lips when I startled. Bella pegged it though.

"Carlie Swan!" she hissed out.

I couldn't help but grin like a fool before saying, "She has a little too much of her grandfather in her." To which I earned a glare from the beauty before me, but then she blushed slightly, which was quite adorable. "I'll see you around five on Wednesday." I stole one more quick kiss before turning away from the temptation.

"Love you," she said softly, and I mouthed the words back to her before sliding into the seat of our company's Maybach.

I watched as she squared off her shoulders like a soldier and marched through the door. She was on a warpath, and our daughter had just been declared the enemy. They were well matched adversaries.

~SOMP~

Tracy, the physical terrorist, worked me hard, but because Samantha watched on in interest, I had to be nice. "Anthony, you're doing well. Your blood oxygen count is up to 97, even after the circuit."

Anthony… I was done with him. "Edward. Please call me Edward."

She seemed taken back by my request, but then grinned. "It suits you better, you know."

"Thank you." I did attempt to keep from blushing.

"But enough distracting me. I need you to do a couple more reps with the weights while I get Ms. Samantha's stuff ready."

She was perpetually happy and energetic, and I attempted to smile at her enthusiasm, but I was shaking. It was mortifying to feel like a baby, the gunshot having reduced my strength considerably.

"I know that look. Give yourself a break. Being shot isn't your problem; it's the lung that collapsed. It takes time for that to heal and get back to pre-injury state. Some never do, as you know. Your oxygen counts are amazing considering you've only been home a little over a week. You'll be back to your old self soon enough - which is a good thing, because the ER nurses are driving everyone crazy. I've been personally threatened if I don't get you back to work within the next few weeks."

I blanched at what she was implying. Although I desperately wanted to get back onto rotation, I knew what she was really saying, which was - prepare yourself for me to push you.

"Okay, Ms. Samantha, your turn."

Samantha's face turned ashen, but she valiantly attempted to keep her bottom lip from quivering. I stood by her side when, after removing her flexible cast, Tracy forced her between the parallel bars to work her leg. This time I wanted to shout in joy, because it was clear that Sam was making tremendous progress. She was placing at least eighty percent of her weight on the leg as she maneuvered up and down. It wouldn't be long before she was walking without help.

By the time that Tracy was done with us both, we looked like we'd been mugged.

"I think it's time for ice cream," I muttered to the child beside me, earning a smile and happy claps.

~SOMP~

The hot water slid over me helping ease the soreness. I could do with a nap, but I had something more important that I wanted to accomplish with the time. So dressing quickly in a loose pair of sweats and a t-shirt, I threw on some tennis shoes, grabbed the care package I needed, and then walked quickly down the pathway from my parents.

Opening the door to the house, I called out, "Rose?" We never knocked, but you would think we would have learned to. It was a habit that had led to many interesting and embarrassing situations.

"Back here," I heard her call out from her office.

Walking down the hallway, I turned into the room directly across from her and Emmett's master suite. The term "office" loosely applied to the area. There was a state of the art computer system and all the necessary items sitting on a unit in the corner, but the room's focus was on her numerous craft projects and designs. The door, that she'd had cut into the garage area from the room, was closed, so it was clear that she hadn't been tinkering on any of her engine projects. Instead, I found her leaning over a drafting table. As I moved toward her, the outline of something that looked like a child's jeep became clear.

"A present for Christmas?" I asked looking at it.

"Yeah, something fun for the kids, but safe enough. Em's having a fit. He thinks they'll kill each other…" she pointed to an interesting looking harness system "…but not if my little design works." She grinned devilishly, but turned her inquisitive eyes on me. Then her nose twitched, and she looked down at what I was carrying.

"Bastard! What have you done?" She'd clearly pegged the bag, which was emanating smells of luscious chocolate into the air around us. This time it was more of a pre-screw up request, than a help me fix it one.

"Nothing…yet, but I need your help to keep it that way." I put on my best puppy dog face and she grumped.

Snatching the bag from me, she opened it to sniff deeply. Looking at her watch, she grinned. "You have at least an hour and a half before they wake from their naps. Normally, I'd make you wait, since this is the only time I have to work on my projects without interruptions, but I'll let you slide this time," she said holding up the bag as an indication as to why she was going to be so generous. "C'mon, I'll pour the milk."

Seated at her breakfast nook table, which looked out over her small garden, we settled in. Rose and I had a unique relationship. She loved me, but didn't hesitate to call me out on my shit. She'd been in my face a multitude of times and called me on my mistakes with women…over and over. I needed her to serve as my sounding board, and so I'd bribed her with the best chocolate chip cookies available in Seattle, compliments of a stopover on the way home from Carlie's and Bella's.

"So spill," she cut to the chase, dipping a cookie down into her milk glass and then closing her eyes in bliss as she took a big bite.

"It's about Bella," I started, but then she snorted almost pulling some cookie down her windpipe.

After her coughing spell, she responded. "Well…duh…like I couldn't have figured that out."

She laughed at my cross expression, but waved me on with a cookie laden hand. "By the way, I really like her, and if you screw up, I'm disowning you and taking her for my sister…" The half-hearted sentence was stopped by another large bite.

Rosalie might look like a freaking model, but the woman could drink beer and eat like a man. It was one of the many things I enjoyed about her…the total lack of artifice. It was also what I wanted the most right now.

"I am doing my best not to screw up." She raised her eyebrow at me, but I continued on. "Seriously, I am, but I'm floundering about something, and I wanted to know if I'm just being weird, if Bella is, or if we're just weird together."

She snorted around another bite. "Go on," she mumbled.

"I wanted to go into this thing with Bella as open as I could possibly be. We're working through some of the stuff." I caught myself pinching my nose and lowered the hand back down to the table. "Mostly, we've talked about what happened with Glenn and Alice, when Tanya came clean with us, and what I've been doing since I left her…"

"Okay?" she'd sat down her empty milk glass, and for now I had all of her attention.

I huffed. "I want to speak with her more about the other women, and in particular how I acted with Tanya. But she told me that the other women don't matter because we weren't together. Even with that explanation, it still leaves what happened with Tanya. I can't take that back and just saying sorry isn't enough. I don't know how to fix it, but more importantly it almost feels like I can't get her to face it. How can we go forward if we don't?" My eyes must have been even more panicky than I thought, because Rose reached over to place her hand on my forearm in comfort.

"Ward, take a deep breath."

My burst of laughter at her nickname for me broke through my panic. Many years ago, she'd shortened my name and taken to telling me every time I screwed up that "I was no Ward Cleaver."

"Is it normal for women not to want to flay their screw up boyfriends alive? I mean, you successfully own my brother's balls."

She kicked me under the table, but, at the same time grinned in delight at my assessment. "You are such a man. " Shaking her head in good nature at me, she released my arm and pulled her hand back to link her fingers, leaving them on top of the table. "Edward, men believe in going in no holds barred, demolishing the adversary, and establishing the new world order within…" she shrugged elegantly "…say two days of first contact."

Okay, I could accept that.

"Sometimes, it just takes us women a little time to adjust, you know. Of course, I'm speaking very hypothetically here, because you know even better than I do how unique each individual is. Have you told her you still want to talk about this?"

I nodded yes.

"Then I suggest you sit back and practice patience. My belief is that it'll come up again. I can't promise it'll be in the most helpful or desirable of ways, because it might be something that just pisses her off enough to jump onto you, but you're going to have to let it ride for now. Just keep showing her how much she means to you, and sooner or later, you'll get to clean that plate. It might be good that you have this time…you know…to add some good stuff to your side of the scales. Because, you really screwed up there, and you're going to have to make it worth it while she gets over the hurt."

"It seems devious to think about it that way - that I'm schmoozing her in hopes that the scales will balance out in my favor in the end."

She burst out laughing at me, causing me to growl at her slightly. "Ward…Ward…Ward…" she shook her head in a theatrical manner "…that is the delicate balancing act of marriage."

A pain tore through my heart at the thought. I wanted Bella to be my wife, to share my life, to carry my name. If I thought it would be productive, I'd throw her over my shoulder and fly off to Vegas to get the job done immediately. But I'd wasted my opportunity and lived a life without her, and now, that privilege might never be mine.

"Edward, I'm sorry," she said softly, her hand back on my arm again. "I know how you feel. I shouldn't have said that."

"I've missed so much because of my stupidity. I want it all, Rose." Damn tears clouded my vision. "I want Carlie to stop growing so that I can spend eighteen years of watching her. I'm trying hard not to latch onto her and to be a good father. But sometimes, I just want to snatch her and Bella up and hide them away for a couple of years so that I can make up for lost time."

"Carlisle and Esme still watch over us. Does it feel like they are any less parents because you're grown?"

Rose was entirely too wise, and Emmett was an extremely blessed man. I grinned, knowing that my mom and dad still loved to caretake us and that they reveled in our accomplishments and mourned in our failures. I'd given them entirely too much to worry about over the years.

"You have the rest of your life to be a father to her. Quit punishing yourself, and instead, use your energy to court them. I would be amazed if Bella didn't come back around to Tanya, because I would…just give her a little space, Edward. This has got to have been as life-changing for her as you." She cocked her head when we heard the front door open and quickly closed the bag in front of her in a crisp fold and all but ran to the kitchen sick to stash our two milk glasses.

"Babe?" Emmett's voice called out.

"Kitchen," she answered, quickly sitting down in a prim manner.

"Bubba!" my beast of a brother called out upon seeing me sitting at the table. Then his eyes zoomed in on the bag. "Wow! Chocolate chip! It must have been a hell of a discussion for such a bribe." He pulled the chair that Rose sat in out and, even against her slapping hands, reached around her waist to pull her up, sit down, and then rearrange her in his lap crossways so that he could look at her.

"Pig," she muttered under her breath only to have Emmett snort at her hair playfully. "Makes me question waiting on you to dive into Edward's offering."

I tried not to laugh when he reached up with his thumb and rubbed a smudge of chocolate off from the corner of her lips, tasting it as he arched his eyebrows. She grinned unrepentantly in reaction to being caught before leaning over to kiss him quickly. Wiggling off his lap, she poured him a large glass of milk and handed it off to him before snuggling back down into his lap.

"You didn't screw up with BB again, did you?" he asked, choosing not one but two thick cookies.

"No! No…just trying to keep from doing that."

"Good," he mumbled. "Listen to my girl, she'll help."

The light of love in Rose's eyes at his belief in her reminded me of what she'd said. Add some to the account when you could, because there would be times you'd make withdrawals simply by being stupid.

And stupid would be not realizing that Emmett had snuck home at nap-time on a lunch break for a reason. Standing, I stretched dramatically. "I think I better go get that nap in. Dad is probably looking for me to force feed me some more pills."

The immediate connection in their eyes told me that I'd barely make it out of the door before they were tearing at each other. I wanted to sigh at all the marital bliss around me. When I closed the front door behind me, I thought to reopen it quickly just to be funny, but figured I could do without the emotional scarring.

I pondered what Rose had said as I went to find Alice. My baby sister had been quiet the last few days, and I wanted to make sure that she was okay. I was afraid that killing the man that had terrorized her might leave deeper scars than I expected. I found her and the kids covered in paint and was tackled by Jasmine and Alistair, being quickly covered in "love prints" as they called them. Alice's easy smile seemed to far outshine the shadows in her eyes.

"What time is Carlie coming?" she asked.

"Any minute now. Mom and Dad took Samantha out for ice cream sundaes, and they'll be stopping by on the way back to pick her up from school."

She grinned endearingly and seemed to shake in happiness. "Slowly but surely, we'll earn Bella's and her forgiveness. Come in," she offered, motioning with a paint spattered hand.

"Nah! I just wanted to check on you. Love you, squirt!"

At her smile, I turned and started back toward my mom's and dad's house. Slow and sure seemed to be the message I was supposed to hear this day, I thought as I made my way to the music room.

~SOMP~

Carlie's flawless performance of Balakirev's _Islamey _floored me. But for all that it was technically impressive, I saw her grimace.

"Something's missing," she mumbled, looking down at her hands in dismay.

Hmm… "Well, your performance far surpasses most of the ones I've had the privilege of hearing. But I think I know what you mean. It can be perfect, but not exquisite." She turned to look at me in question. "It's the soul…"

"What do you mean?" Her green eyes glittered brightly.

"Hm…how do I explain? Maybe it would be easier to show you." I picked a section of Liszt's _Un Sospiro _and played it precisely. Then I thought of Bella and sighed…just like the title of the song suggested. As the music continued, I closed my eyes and imagined my fingertips brushing over her skin in worship, of breathing in her perfume, and it was as if the love within me welled, filling every corner and crevice of my heart and body. When I lifted my hands from the keys, it took me a minute to come back from the world I'd created in my mind.

Carlie's eyes were wise now, but before she could speak, I started on another piece. Für Elise filled the space around us. It wasn't a difficult piece and had been played probably more times since its creation than anyone could count, but it was because of those specific qualities that it made my point. I envisioned Carlie in the moonlight, possibly even dancing, so it was easy to add the magic.

She was smirking at me when I opened my eyes this time. "You were thinking of mom the first time, weren't you?"

I nodded before saying, "And then you. I do believe that you have the talent to take on any piece ever written. The trick is finding something that speaks to you so that you can add a piece of your soul to it...not just perform what was put down on paper."

"It's hard," she said. "I'm fourteen. Most of the stuff that's out there was written by men who are older than Poppa."

Something in her voice had me saying, "Play me what you've got."

She blushed and shook her head. Her attempt at denial was futile.

"You might not be able to enter some competitions with an original piece, but there are several very prestigious ones that you can." Laying my hand on hers, I encouraged, "Play!" The word was more prayer than an order.

And so she began…

The music wove a spell. The melody bordered on difficult, but as I listened to it crescendo, I realized that the true genius of the music wasn't the technicality…it was the weaving of two separate strands…battling against each other…until they learned to bend.

Too soon, she stopped - the piece incomplete.

"You and Seth?" I asked of the influence.

"At first, I thought so, but that is why it isn't completed. It just didn't seem right, and I lost my way."

"The deeper notes…they're masculine. Who do they remind you of?"

She turned her head and considered. Then I saw her fingers reach out to the keys hesitantly…the notes sounding almost plaintive when alone. It was a strong strand, not overwhelming, but solid and the basis for everything else that fluttered around it.

She breathed out after a few moments and then looked at me ashamed. "It reminds me of Dad. I didn't realize it was about him and Aunt Leah until you made me focus on his part."

"Perfect!" I answered, clearly aware that she thought she was betraying me in this. "So now that you've identified your muse, go back to a few bars from where you left off."

She played them quickly, and I saw the almost imperceptible twitch of her fingers as she went forward. She stopped, and I saw the glazed look.

"I think I have some paper. Hold onto it!" I swore out, rushing over to a chest that sat against the wall.

Thankfully, I found some in the second drawer and yanked out. It was yellow…testament to the fact I'd been in stasis so long and left it abandoned. My mother had moved the piece of furniture from Forks and kept it sacred, polished to a fine sheen with love and longing while she waited for me. Looking through the drawer, I also found a pencil that had several marks from where I'd gripped it in my teeth. This was no time to be picky, so I grabbed it.

"Here! Here," I put it under her nose and thought my heart would explode in pride when she penciled in the notes.

"No, I think it was an "A" here," I pointed to a quick flow of quarter notes.

She played it and then hugged my arm quickly as she changed it just as I'd said.

Hours passed as we worked in tandem, and we only broke apart guiltily when my mother came in to glare at us. "Your phone has been blowing up," she said handing it to me. Five text messages and two phone calls from Bella. I cringed. We'd missed dinner, missed Carlie's time to be home, and almost screwed up my opportunity to convince her mother I was being responsible in our impatience to get something done.

"At least take some sandwiches," my mom grinned, handing me a basket as we rushed out the door, the phone to my ear as I told Bella we were on the way and was met with a short "Fine!"

"Oh God, eat quickly, or your mom will never forgive me," I pleaded with Carlie as we got into the back seat, nervous as hell from Bella's clipped reply.

She grinned at me. "You should see her when she gets in the writing "Zen." She understands even if she hid it." But to make me feel better she took a wolf size bite out of the sandwich, chewing happily. "The notes are running through my head now. It's like I can't stop them." She snatched the binder up that held the yellowed pages and quickly penciled in a few more, only taking another bite when I nudged her with my foot.

"Stop and eat!" I chuckled when she put the pencil in her mouth, chewing at it. Thank God she took pity on me and did so. She was downing the last bite when we walked through the front door. Bella's eyes honed in on me, and I swear I could feel myself squirm.

"Mama, before you cut him a new one, I'm just as responsible for us being late. My homework is done..." I wasn't so sure about that, but I wasn't dumb enough to say anything. "We ate dinner." Which we had, albeit just moments ago. "And we worked on my competition piece, but I might be changing that up after some of the work we did." Carlie's voice was just the right amount of wistfulness and humbleness to speak to her mother's heart. "I'm going to take a quick shower and get in bed. Hey! And look, I'm still minutes before bedtime." She handed me the binder with the music and rushed away, leaving me to face her mother...and her wrath.

Bella pointed her finger to the chair she pushed out with her foot. I was so dead.

"Contrary to what Carlie says, it's my fault. I was the one that was responsible for getting her home," I said as I slid into the seat and put the binder holding Carlie's music on the table. "We were practicing, and then she played something she'd written...and we started talking about it...adding to it...and then we had to find the paper..." I put my fingers on top of the sheets. "I'm sorry; I'd left my phone on the kitchen counter."

I heard a chuckle and looked up to see her grinning at me. "Edward, quit tugging on your hair. You're going to pull it out. God, you're adorable when you're flustered."

"I'm sorry."

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I would've preferred that you call me, but somehow as you are describing what happened, I can't get the image of two mad scientists rushing around out of my head. Just make sure to call next time, okay?"

The breath rushed out of me.

She smirked. "I phoned the house after you didn't call me back and reached Esme. I could hear Carlie playing in the background. I think Esme was sitting just outside the door listening." She grinned. "When I heard her testing out notes, I knew she was in the zone. I figured you would be as well."

"It's a beautiful piece, Bella. She wants to enter it into the competition if she can get it completed in time." Tears filled her eyes, throwing me. Jumping up in confusion, I rushed to her, going down to my knees to snatch her hands into mine. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she snorted in a delicate manner. "Just...she's...she's never been sure enough of anything she's composed to put it out there. Thank you! I think you're the only one who could understand her there and give her the right support. It's enough to make me want to forgive you for getting her home late."

Shaking my head at her, I was once again amazed at the size of her heart. But I sighed in contentment when she leaned down to place her lips on mine. Opening to her when I felt the brush of her tongue against my lips, I leaned up into her, something reminding me to keep it rated PG considering Carlie could walk in on us. I forgot, and it was the clearing of a throat that had us breaking apart. Thankfully, neither of us jerked away like errant kids.

"Goodnight," Carlie said, a twinkle in her eyes at having caught me kneeling at her mother's feet, kissing her like she was a goddess come to life.

"Night, baby!" Bella said softly as I winked at my daughter.

I needed to go, because I wanted nothing more to revisit the kiss we'd just shared and possibly take it over to the couch, to the floor, anywhere. Rubbing my hands over my face, I used the moment to rise and distract myself. Bella stood as well and grabbed my hand.

"Do you have to go?" she asked, the tone of her voice needy.

Oh God! I had to clear my throat. "I better, Bella. I..."

She pulled me in for another kiss, but this one scorched down to my toes. I had to literally pull my fingers off of her when it was done. Her eyes were heavy with passion, and I wanted to see them slack with fulfillment.

"Bella...Carlie..." my voice was gruff and harsh with need.

"I know!" she huffed in aggravation, but then chuckled. "This is worse than attempting to sneak around Charlie."

Her comment was exactly what I needed to calm down. Rubbing my thumb over her delicate cheekbone, I soaked in her beauty and love.

"Tomorrow night, why don't we go to your penthouse after dinner and spend the night? Carlie says that it's spectacular, and I could hear this masterpiece in creation on that grand piano Esme told me you bought. I can stay in the guest bedroom, which will make it perfectly appropriate."

It did seem that we needed that separation now that we weren't under the protection of being in "two bedrooms" at my parents. What a farce, my subconscious snarked, but it was a necessary farce right now. How exactly were we to navigate being together around Carlie without it appearing that I was being disrespectful of her mother?

"Okay!" I responded quickly, while my mind ran rampant. I'd have to stop by there tomorrow and make sure that the place was clean. I hadn't been since the night I left for the competition, what seemed a lifetime ago. Actually, Bella's idea was a brilliant one. The restaurant was just minutes from my place, and I could easily get Carlie to school for her Friday classes.

"Edward?" she said, bringing me back from my thoughts.

"Yeah, love."

"You remember that whole 'not going to go puritanical' conversation we had?"

"Yes." I swallowed deeply.

"A whole apartment between us and our child..." she left off suggestively.

My hands clenched, while lust raced along my skin. Grabbing her to me, I kissed her fast and hard, funneling everything I felt into it. It made me feel better to leave her a little disoriented as I shut the door determinedly between us.

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><p><strong>Thoughts? Reactions? Suggestions?<strong>


	58. Adoration

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

**I know there was no outtake this week – blame the Fourth of July and the length of this chapter and the already 4000 words I've written on the next! I hope you'll forgive me.**

**I've had several people email me about the time it has taken to get to the lemons in this story and the amount of time I've taken on the "I'm sorrys." Please know, this story was never written in order to set up a lemonade stand, but as a story of forgiveness (I'll explain my rationale for writing this story on the last chapter. It is a personal one for me). However, I am quite aware that many read fan fiction for just that, and I too appreciate glasses of lemonade about as much as I love hearing from you.**

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

"Bella, the plans I had for tonight have fallen through. Please don't ask what they were, because when I have the opportunity, I still want to surprise you with them."

It was clear that Edward was upset, which told me that he'd put a lot of thought into what he'd planned.

"It's okay," I reassured him and tried to keep the disappointment from my voice.

"Well…I have another offer, but it is even more involved." He hesitated, and I wondered why. Was it because he was gathering his thoughts or finding the strength to ask? "Pack some bags for you and Carlie, and let's go away for the weekend together." Finding his courage I realized. He continued through my thoughts. "I can pick you up around two thirty tomorrow, and we'll grab Carlie from school."

A whole weekend? _Well you did just tell him to quit holding back_, I told myself. This was certainly a sign that he'd been listening. Just us, with no one else around? I loved Jake and Leah, and Aro and the family. I was coming to forgive the Cullens, and I'd certainly enjoyed my time with them. But, having to work on all the relationships at the same time was daunting and overwhelming. It would be almost idyllic to be able to focus on just us. Neither Carlie nor I had any particular plans; the only thing I'd considered was setting some time away to work on getting the book finished and that could wait.

"I would love to," I admitted quickly. "But let me ask Carlie."

"Sure," he said softly, but it was easy to hear the pleasure and excitement in his voice. "I have quite a few plans to make, so I'm going to assume that it's a go. And if Carlie decides not to, well…it'll just be preparation for the time I can convince her."

"You can still come over tonight," I offered.

I heard the hesitation over the line. "Bella, you know that I want to, but let me use the time to set up for the weekend, just in case. I promise it'll be worth it."

I actually grinned, realizing how hyped he was over the possibility. "Okay. I'll speak to Carlie just as soon as she gets home and then call you."

It was because of this that I found myself on a Friday afternoon waiting on Edward to come pick me up. "Bring comfortable clothing and maybe just one fancy dress," he'd said. With such suggestions, it'd taken me very little time to pack, so my curiosity was killing me. "It's a surprise" was the only answer he'd give me.

A knock at the door drew me out of my bedroom where I'd been returning some emails. To find Jake on the other side surprised me. Holding up a bag, he grinned before explaining. "Seth's. Redhead invited him as well."

"You know where we're going?" I accused and then immediately began to contemplate how I could wiggle the information out of him.

"Yup. But I'm not spilling, so don't try." I glared, and he glared back. Finally, he huffed. "Edward called and explained what he had in mind. He asked if it would be possible for Seth to accompany the three of you. It actually kinda worked out perfectly, for reasons I won't explain at this moment. Get over it, Bella. You want him, he is making an honest effort to work this thing out between the two of you, and so I'm doing my best to help. And for right now, that means keeping you in the dark."

That Jacob approved of whatever Edward had planned was clear, and for some reason, I couldn't help but feel that Jake's acceptance was about more than just the destination. It irked me that they were in cahoots. Hadn't it just been weeks ago that they were literally attempting to beat the hell out of each other? I growled at him softly, and he actually chuckled.

"Good one, Bella. I'm so scared." He snorted again, but was saved from my wrath by another knock at the door.

When I opened the door this time, it was to take a deep sigh. Edward grinned at me, looking scrumptious in a pair of well worn and faded jeans and a light blue sweater. Jake actually had to poke me to bring me back from the fantasies that danced in my head.

"I brought Seth's bag over, Edward. Do you want me to put it in the car?" Jake asked in an immensely polite tone.

"No, I'll get it," he offered, holding out his hand to Jake.

When Edward turned to move back toward the car that waited, Jake had to be Jake. Reaching over, he acted as if he was wiping drool off my chin. I swatted his washboard stomach, eliciting a grunt and then a round of soft chuckles from him.

"Let me get yours and Carlie's bags while you attempt to remember how to breathe."

"Jake!" I hissed, but he wasn't too far from the truth. I'd been scoping out just how well Edward's worn jeans fit his butt.

Jake's dark brown eyes were sincere as he saw me off. "Bella, have fun and remember to hold your head high." It was such a strange suggestion that I was speechless. The best I could do was wave goodbye to him as we pulled off.

"Hey," Edward said softly to my side, gathering my attention and my hand to link his fingers through mine. "You look beautiful," he murmured, using the fingers of his free hand to trace over my cheek in a caress.

"Hey," I answered back in a cheeky manner, drawing laughter from us both. "Are you going to give me a hint as to where we're going?"

"No, it's a surprise." When he smiled, he dazzled me. "You're mine for the weekend, Ms. Swan."

It was said in a deeply satisfied way, but the implications made me gasp. He sounded almost possessive. To give credence to my observation, he pulled me in for a long kiss, and the taste of him had me humming in pleasure against him within seconds. "Mine," he whispered softly when he broke from me for just a second, before pulling me flush to him and tangling his fingers in my hair.

The feel of the vehicle stopping finally broke us apart guiltily. Somehow during the trip and our impromptu make-out session, I'd straddled him.

"Missed you," he strangled out. "God, just staying away last night about killed me."

Staring down into his slanted emerald eyes, I wanted nothing more than to devour him. "You'll just have to make it up to me," I warned, slowly moving off his lap before our child caught us in such a compromising situation.

It was a good decision, because within minutes, Carlie and Seth barreled through the door that the driver held open.

"Hey, Dad!" she chirped out, leaning over to kiss his cheek quickly before plopping into the seat across from us and opening the door to the small refrigerator to drag out a Coke.

"Aunt Bella, Edward…" Seth was a little more subdued, but his grin was broad with excitement.

"So, Daddy, where are we going?" Carlie asked the same question I'd proposed.

"Well, first to the airport to pick up our next mode of transportation," Edward told her cryptically, pulling me into his side so that he could wrap his arm around my shoulders.

"Next mode of transportation?" I wasn't so certain I liked the sound of that.

He winked at me, tugging at my hand slightly. "Just trust me."

~SOMP~

"Bella, do you trust me?" he questioned again, a small smile to his lips as he held his hand out to me in petition. The wind from the slow chop-chop of the helicopter blades ruffled his hair, making him look more like a playboy, as his reputation claimed, than was necessary.

Temptation…

I looked at the helicopter that sat innocuously on the pad before us. Carlie and Seth had already run to the craft in excitement, while I looked at it like a snake coiled and ready to strike.

"A helicopter? Edward, are you serious? I've never…"

Finally realizing that I wasn't wavering, he stepped closer to me, kissing my forehead and placing his hands on my shoulders. Then he pulled out the big guns, widening his eyes innocently at me. "Bella, I promise it'll be okay. I would prefer to fly us myself, but with the medication I'm still taking, I can't. But Rodney has many hours logged under his belt and flies our family everywhere. We can drive, but it will take us much longer that way. Please," he asked persuasively, leaning down to kiss me tantalizingly. His warmth enticed me, drew me in, and made me want to crawl into his skin.

"If I die in some fiery crash, I'm coming back to haunt you," I threatened against his lips, and then emphasized the statement with a quick pinch to his ribs.

He answered by nipping my earlobe and blowing warm breaths over the skin that tingled. "I'll take those odds; you haunt my dreams anyway."

Using my distraction, he linked our fingers and drew me forward, and I hissed at him when he buckled the safety belt over me. My own daughter giggled, already strapped down across from us, and Seth smiled broadly in anticipation. The immortal beliefs of youth…

I took my angst out on Edward by squeezing his hand unmercifully when we took off and all throughout the, thankfully, very uneventful trip.

Unable to see much past the windows, I waited patiently to be told where we were going, but Edward purposely engaged Seth in conversation. Mostly, he answered Seth's questions about the Eurocopter…leave it to the boys to focus on the death trap we were riding in. I could feel when we began to lose altitude about an hour later.

"Mr. Cullen, were coming into the airport."

"Thanks, Rodney."

After the pilot shut off the rotors and the helicopter powered down, I released the death grip I had on Edward's hand, surprised that I hadn't broken a few of his fingers. When he helped me down to the pavement, I cursed the fact that I couldn't see where we were. The smell tickled at my senses, but it didn't seem to be anything exotic or tropical. In fact, it smelt…green and familiar.

"Bella, do you want to go sighted guide or are you fine using your cane?" he asked quickly.

"I'm fine."

"Okay. The truck is at twelve o'clock about twenty feet forward. I'll get our bags."

Carlie and Seth walked beside me, and because it still made me feel more confident and safe, I used the cane to sweep before me for any obstacles. While we made our way forward, I tried to place the smells that teased me with their familiarity. But as Edward had indicated, the large vehicle…a Suburban, I realized…loomed before me within feet, distracting me. Seth walked around to the back of the vehicle with his and Carlie's bags, while another man, whom I assumed would be the driver, held his hand out to help Carlie. She went through the captain's seats, after saying something about it being nice to see him again, to take the bench one row behind, with Seth quickly joining her. Only then did the nicely dressed man offer me his hand.

"Ms. Swan, I'm James. Welcome to Forks," he said softly.

~SOMP ~

"Forks!" I hissed at Edward as soon as the door shut behind us.

He grinned softly before leaning over to grab my hand again. "Yes, Forks. I've made arrangements for us to stay here."

"Mama, Seth and I are going to stay on the Rez with Grandpa. There's going to be a big shindig this weekend, so we're going to help them get it set up. You and Daddy are supposed to come."

Edward…on the reservation…_that_ could prove tremendously interesting.

"Trust me," Edward mouthed again, his eyes bright with hope and love.

Considering that the helicopter hadn't crashed on the way here, I decided to fight the panic I felt. Forks wasn't like a tourist trap or anything, so there were very few places to stay. Thankfully, the few available were on the outskirts of town, so it wasn't as if we'd see many people. Why in the world Edward had decided to bring us here was a mystery I would solve…as soon as we dropped Carlie and Seth off.

The small airport was just out of town, so within minutes, I knew we were approaching the city limits headed to La Push.

"James, would you pull over here, please. I'd like to grab some dinner before we take Carlie and Seth to Billy's," Edward indicated.

Dinner! There were only a few, very few, places to eat in Forks, and they were meccas for the population, the very gossipy town population.

"EDWARD!" I hissed, even as the truck stopped, and I heard James come around to let us out. We'd cause a spectacle exiting the truck, with a driver opening the door and ushering us out like we were snobby.

"Come on, love. Let's get something to eat," Edward tugged at my hand, but I refused to move.

"NO!" I growled out, even as Carlie and Seth exited the truck around us like traitors. I called for them to come back. Of course they didn't listen.

Edward watched me carefully. "Bella, please. We'll just pick up a quick bite, and then we'll go. I guarantee you that once we get to our accommodations, you'll have all the peace, quiet, and anonymity you desire. It's just dinner, and Carlie and Seth are already in there sitting down. I think it'll make a bigger scene for us to go force them out, than to just join them."

He then waited on me patiently to make a decision. Ironically, I knew if I didn't move, Edward would stay with me in the car while Carlie and Seth ate.

"Fine," I grumped and unbuckled the seatbelt.

That Edward's smile was brilliant couldn't be denied.

That I almost stumbled when I saw where we were was a given.

As Edward invited James in to eat with us, I wanted to scream. It wasn't just any place to eat; it was "the" place to eat…the diner. The hub of Forks gossip, goings-on, and my dad's favorite place to 'chow down', it was the place to be seen. And seen we were. I heard the hush that came over the place when Edward escorted me in like a princess. I was betting it'd happened when Seth and Carlie entered as well. Thankfully, my limited sight kept me focused on the goal of maneuvering to the table, so I had a reason to ignore those around me. It made it easy…to not be able to view the shocked faces around us.

Sliding into the booth across from Carlie and Seth, Edward followed me, throwing his arm around my shoulders. James snagged a chair that sat at the bar, placing it at the end of the table.

"I'm going to kill you…" I grumbled at Edward, but my words were cut off by his.

"Well hello, Lauren. Imagine seeing you here," he said quickly, nudging my leg with his to stop my muttering when she walked up to place water on our table. His fingers caressed my shoulder softly. The caress soothed me, but I knew how it looked to those around us. He appeared to be a doting boyfriend…which I guess he was, but still...

"Edward… Bella…" My arch-enemy could barely force our names out. She looked haggard, barely kept and aged. I wondered why she was still here and working at the diner. She'd sworn that she would be making it big in Los Angeles…well, when she wasn't harassing me.

"This is James, a friend of mine." Edward nodded toward the blond man, who attempted a polite nod that she ignored while Edward continued. "I'm sure you know Seth, Jacob and Leah Black's son. And this is Carlie, my and Bella's daughter." His words were said too loudly, and I was certain they carried across the entire diner. I know I heard a couple of gasps.

"Edward, we don't come here when we come to visit, so I'm sure Mrs…" Seth left off purposely.

"Newton," she supplied, but had failed to take her astounded eyes off Carlie.

"I'm sure Mrs. Newton didn't even know I existed." Seth's sunny smile and easy manner befuddled her and was a clear antithesis to her pursed lips and spiteful looks.

"How's Mike?" I asked, trying to break up the tension.

"How should I know," she responded, and then looked shocked she'd answered my question so honestly. Finally tearing her eyes away from Carlie, she walked away from the table.

I wanted to be mortified, but couldn't find it within me because she'd made the spectacle of herself. My best guess was that she and Mike weren't together any longer, but I hadn't known. Luckily, an older woman came over to take our order. It wasn't much better though, because she'd been one of my father's favorites.

"Bella Swan!" she said in glee. "I swear you don't look a day older than the last time I saw you. Your daddy would be so proud. And look at this little sweetie." She ogled Carlie. "Isn't she just a beauty! Good job," she claimed before turning cool eyes on Edward.

Gossip was like the Lord's own gospel in this small town. I was certain that we were the focus of every person within the diner, and we'd wandered in at the peak of dinner time. Word of our visit would infiltrate every crook and cranny of the town limits within an hour…if it hadn't already. I'd seen several of them take out their phones and start texting. While I fully intended to discuss this with Edward, I wouldn't be doing that until I could give him a piece of my mind. I certainly hoped wherever we were staying had really thick walls, or the neighbors were going to be entertained.

Surprisingly, once I decided to skin him alive in privacy, I enjoyed the dinner. James proved to be charming, and since he had nothing to hide or prove, he kept us laughing with his stories about his childhood back in New Orleans. Whether or not anyone else in the restaurant had a good time, we did. Edward pampered Carlie and me, waiting on us and finally charming Cora with his obvious affection and continued acceptance of her glares. I wondered when we walked out if half of the faces weren't plastered to the windows, then decided that I just didn't care as Edward gave me his arm to assist me into the truck.

Billy surprised me at his calm greeting of Edward when we arrived to drop off the kids. I expected anger, but what I got was just a touch of that but with more reserved politeness. Carlie, ever the peace maker, stepped in before things could spin out of control. "Mama, you and dad need to be here no later than three to help with the final preparations." She then giggled and took Billy's hand pulling him back into the house.

"He is going to want to talk to me tomorrow," Edward admitted, gazing at the house in trepidation.

"Yeah, was it the glaring or slight growl that gave it away?"

He heard my crossness and smirked slightly. He was so going to get it from me this evening, so I'd allow Billy to have that privilege tomorrow. I'd gripe at him now, but I was embarrassed to consider it in front of James. Call me private, but I refused to hash it out in front of a stranger.

"We have one more stop before we get to the accommodations," Edward smiled as we loaded back into the Suburban.

He could get out if he wanted to, because I wasn't going to move out of the truck. The diner had been it for me! I'd been the focus of too many nosy people already.

As if nothing was wrong, Edward reached over to grab my hand, and to be petulant, I came close to snatching it away. Why should I give him the satisfaction? Let him think I'd calmed down…that way when I did let it all go, he'd be none the wiser. Was he just intentionally being dense?

As we moved down the road, I realized a part of me would love to see farther than the few feet outside the windows. If I was going to drive through the town, it would've been nice to see it after all these years. Had it changed? Or was it still the tiny little logging town I'd grown to love?

"Here we are, James," Edward said in a peaceful tone. "Bella, we'll need to pick up a few things to eat while we are here."

The grocery store! Was he freaking crazy! It would already be all over town about our trip to the diner. The way he'd catered to Carlie and me would be the subject on everyone's lips! We'd be all they'd talk about for the next…say year. Was he just itching to be a martyr? Hadn't the first flogging been enough for him? Was he dense or something?

I could just imagine what they were saying. "The Cullen boy sure has changed his tune."

As if I'd been hit by a train, everything felt numb as dawning awareness crept over me.

"Bella?" Edward asked, having stepped out of the truck. He held his hand out in petition to me, inviting me to take it. It was both symbolic and pleading.

It was then that Jacob's words came back to me. _ "Bella, have fun and remember to hold your head high."_

Dense… Now just who did that word describe again?

I'd once gotten hit directly in the chest by a softball. It'd been during one of the few times Charlie encouraged me to try something athletic. He'd immediately decided to let me out of that particular experiment. But, I still remembered laying on the ground, my cheek against the wet grass, and the moment that the air had finally rushed back into my body. It was almost as if the ground below me had shifted…or maybe it could better be described as rumbled. Because it had almost felt like the roar of an approaching train and the way the ground would shake below you.

This was one of those moments. As my brain contemplated and dissected the fact that Edward had intentionally let us be seen in town, had intentionally displayed his adoration of me to those that would remember our confrontation in the Forks High school cafeteria, had intentionally made it apparent that he was there for me, adored me, cherished me, my body caught up, the numbness wearing off with the shakes to be replaced by a wave of serenity.

Jake had known Edward's plan. The two had talked, and Jake's word made it very apparent that he approved of Edward's strategy. Had Edward magnified his behavior or went over the top with it to prove his point, I would've been pissed. Because then I would have seen it as being manipulative, and that would've infuriated me. But no…he'd just been him, and he'd let everyone see him being him…to me. It was enough to create a firestorm of gossip among those who'd remembered us, which unfortunately in this town was most likely everybody.

Looking up to catch his pleading eyes, I saw the true meaning behind Edward's outstretched hand. _Bella, please let me do this. It's my way of adding one more piece to making this right._

If I chose to skulk and hide in the safety of the vehicle, he wouldn't hold it against me. I wouldn't see one ounce of payback or repercussions on his part. But if I chose to take his hand, it would be my way of silently telling him that I trusted him enough to accept the small and carefully designed pieces of his "apology puzzle."

Flush with understanding, I reached for him before I chickened out. The flash of utter joy that transformed his face made my last vestiges of nerves disappear. Without thought, as soon as I stepped on the running board of the truck, I used the advantage of the additional height to lean slightly down to place a kiss on his lips. I could care less how many people saw it, and his gasp of astonishment made it even better. The tightening of his fingers against mine and the way his other hand gripped my hip told me I'd surprised him. Never breaking his lips from mine, he lifted me off the truck, letting my body slid down his enticingly.

"I love you," he said gruffly when he broke from me, having kissed up my jaw to breath in deeply at my ear.

"I know," I replied in an impish manner, before taking the first step into what I would've originally termed hell.

I was certain that the gossip would relay that I led Edward into the store and wondered whether or not he would be likened to a puppy. The visual and thought didn't please me. We were equals in this, so I hesitated a second for him to catch up to me. He stepped over for a shopping cart and the normalcy of it broke through my crazy thoughts.

_Bella, just be normal, I told myself._

And with that, I let go of the concerns of what every once else thought. It was no longer a strategy; it was just Edward and Bella going shopping. It didn't matter that we hadn't done this together in over fifteen years.

"Okay, since I still don't know where we are going or what we may need, why don't you tell me," I smirked at him.

It was as if I could see the peace settle around him. Grinning, he straightened just a tad more. "We'll need snacks of course." He waggled his eyebrows at me, while patting at his stomach. "We're eating at La Push tomorrow evening…well, assuming they don't skin me alive first." He actually appeared a little concerned about that, and I couldn't help but laugh at his expression. He bit his lip in an attempt to not smile himself and the mannerism about drove me crazy. I wanted to bite his bottom lip for him. Finally getting his amusement under control, he indicated, "So, we need enough for two breakfasts and lunches."

"And snacks," I reminded him.

Grinning like a little boy, he nodded enthusiastically.

I tried not to pay attention to the loud whispering that followed us or how it stopped whenever we turned a corner and came upon someone from our past. Edward spoke to Mr. and Mrs. Rosser, the owners of the pharmacy. He made sure to ask about their children and grandchildren, while all the time standing beside me with his arm around my waist.

"I hear that you two have a girl?" Eleanor asked, letting me know just how quickly the gossip had made its rounds.

The pride in Edward's face wasn't a part of any act. Pulling out his wallet, he took out a copy of my and Carlie's picture, handing it over into Mrs. Rosser's greedy little hands. I could imagine that she wanted to see Carlie for herself and was probably upset that she hadn't been at the diner earlier.

"Carlie. She's a perfect copy of Bella. Big heart and all," he admitted, giving me a worshipful look.

"She's beautiful," the old heifer finally said, giving the picture back to Edward.

We ran into the next individual over in the small meat section; Edward having said he wanted steaks.

"Mrs. Cope!"

I wanted to groan. If there was a bigger gossip in Forks, I couldn't identify her, not to mention that she'd been there, at Forks High, to see me shell shocked when Edward walked away from me. The glee in her eyes when she turned and found us before her again was maniacal. Pushing the cart right up to her, he leaned over the handlebar and looked as if he was going to engage in conversation.

"Which cuts do you recommend?"

His question threw me. I figured he would go right into a discussion about us, but it was then I realized just how much a strategist Edward was. By not giving her any information, he ensured she would find out who else we'd spoken to in the store, stirring up the frenzy as she went.

Mutely, she pointed to a choice cut with slight marbling. It was a testament to just how much I'd quit worrying that my mouth watered at the thought of it over a grill instead of dried up at the way that Mrs. Cope was staring at us.

"Trust me enough to chose?" I asked him, and grinned when he nodded to them.

"So, how are things at Forks High? I know you retired, but I hear through the grapevine that you continue to volunteer," Edward said cordially.

Mrs. Cope broke. Squealing, she all but ran away.

"Was it something I said?" Edward asked casually, and I had to turn to the meat to keep from laughing out loud. He caged me, placing his hands to each side of my hips to grip the counter. "What do you think? Steaks for lunch tomorrow, hamburgers for Sunday?"

"Personally, I'm thinking of grilling something else," I muttered in good humor.

"Oh…really?" he snarked back. He shuddered against me as if in fear, but unfortunately, it had exactly the opposite effect on me.

"Edward," I growled lowly.

"Hmm…"

"Back up if you don't want them having something really juicy to talk about."

He was actually confused I realized, until he figured out just how close he was to me. "Oh God, sorry." He jumped back at least a foot.

We had a cart full before we were done, and ironically, it was as we were moving to the register that I saw the one person I didn't mind.

"Mrs. Webster." This time it was me to call out.

"Bella, Edward. How good to see you!" Angela's mother's eyes were kind, and the interest in them was sincere. "Oh my, don't the two of you look wonderful. Are you in town for the weekend?"

Acceptance…clear and simple.

"Yes. Just for a visit. Carlie, our daughter, is here to spend time out on the reservation with her boyfriend. "

"What a small world!" she said simply. "Do I know the young man?"

"Seth. He's Jacob and Leah Black's son," I supplied. It was easy to do so, knowing that she desired the information out of pure interest.

"Oh how lovely. You and Jacob have always been such good friends."

Edward stirred uncomfortably at my side, and I reached over to link my fingers with his on top of the cart. Now was not the time for his guilty conscience.

"Angela will be so pleased that I have news of you. She's always asking if there is any word of you. She and Ben are so busy with the kids and work."

"Where is she?" I couldn't help but ask. She'd been my only girlfriend other than Alice.

"They're living in Los Angeles. Ben was hired by a computer firm there, and Angela is working with a small counseling agency. She only works part time, because the twins keep her busy."

Suddenly, the need to talk with Angela overwhelmed me. "Would you give me her number? I'm not sure she'd want to talk to me after all this time, but I would like to call her."

"Certainly, dear. I know she would love to hear from you."

She dug through her purse and found some paper and a pen. Within a minute, I had a link to my past. One I'd closed. Edward wasn't the only person who'd damaged relationships. In my agony, I'd cut off contact with one of the few individuals who'd meant the world to me. Instead of feeling overwhelmed when we loaded back into the truck, I felt at ease. As James loaded the groceries into the back, Edward turned to me.

"So…" he looked extremely guilty and adorable at the same time "…how much trouble am I in?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Heaps. We'll talk more when we get to where we're going."

He stirred like a little boy that had just been caught with his hands in the cookie jar. "Well…that's something I wanted to talk with you about. It's kind of a surprise. Or at least, I'd like it to stay that way."

"What, are you wanting me to close my eyes or something?" He couldn't be for real.

Reaching into his jeans pocket, he pulled out a silk scarf. "Or…" he ran the fabric through his fingers, and I was mesmerized by play of it.

A devil took over. Leaning to within a bare inch of him, I murmured, "Parts of me want to be really upset with you." He waited for me to finish. "Put it on me, Edward."

I knew it would drive him crazy, and when I heard the quick breaths he took as he gently wrapped the fabric around my head, I had to fight hard not to grin. He'd chosen the wrong person to play with in this manner. We were on my territory now. I moved quickly, "accidentally" brushing up against the zipper of his jeans, and a harshly drawn breath of air was my reward.

I think he would have done something if James hadn't opened the door and climbed in. I took care of it, turning into him so that his hand brushed against my breast as he buckled me up. I could smell the light sheen of sweat and would lay odds that his face was flush with it. The click of the seatbelt let James know we were ready, so the truck started forward; Edward unable to counter attack in what he must have assumed was my game.

"How long will it take to get to the hotel?" I asked.

"Oh…just a few minutes," he answered, his voice rough.

I rubbed my thumb across his hand, skimming over the fine bones of his surgeon's hand. His pianist hands. He was nervous, I realized. Lapsing into a companionable silence, I let my senses take over. I heard the sounds of the little town and counted through the few red lights we stopped at. Hearing the shouts at the gas station, I knew we were headed north out of town. Minutes later, the resonance of the forest echoed softly outside the car. Perhaps someone who hadn't relied on their hearing, a person who was graced with all their senses, might not hear them, but I did.

The slap of the tires on the road told me that we were on the highway…I could feel the speed. Not far though, because we began to slow and then turned off. We were close. Edward's grip became just a little tighter, and I recognized it was his reaction to the stress.

The loud and moist milieu of a forest surrounded us when we stopped. It became more so when James exited, then again when he opened the back. For a few more minutes, Edward remained still, and I waited to see what he would do.

"Are we getting out?" I asked finally, very curious about this surprise of his.

"Yes, in just a few minutes. James is just unloading for us."

"Are we are waiting for him?"

"Yes." The door to the back shut, and it seemed to be a signal.

"Okay, its time." He opened the door beside him and then moved to help me out.

I jumped in surprise when I heard two doors close, the truck start up, and it move out. "Wait!"

"Shh… It's okay. I promise." He grabbed both of my hands to hold and continued to do so until the sound of the truck disappeared, the noise of the night animals taking over again. "Okay, love, I'm going to remove the scarf now," he whispered.

I should have known, considering the direction we traveled, but still, the sight of the Cullens old home behind him took my breath away for the moment. When I could finally breath, I strangled out, "Edward! We can't be here; the owner will have us arrested!"

He brushed my hair back, where the scarf had pulled it toward my face, before stepping forward to wrap me in his arms. "I bought it five years ago, Bella. It's mine…my place away from the world and all that strangles me. When the people that purchased it from mom and dad finally decided to move back east, I didn't blink. I just knew that I had to have it."

"What?"

"It and all the land around it, including our tree. Although, when their business went belly up they actually allowed some of the land around the house to be logged to help pay the bills. What was once the forest is now a meadow. The only thing that saved our tree must have been that it was just too gnarled and beautiful to cut down. I can't describe to you my relief when I saw it. We'll walk there tomorrow if you're up to it. I hope you'll like what I did."

Our tree, this house…it was almost overwhelming. "HOW!" I gasped out. "Jacob, Leah, Seth, Samantha, Carlie, and I have been at La Push over and over. How did we miss you?"

"This is my hideaway. When I came here it was with the express purpose of not being seen. And it would seem you had the same strategy." He grinned and pulled me toward the front door.

"There were two doors closing," I said in suspicion, going back to what I'd heard.

He smiled softly, even as he pulled me up the stairs to the porch of the large white house…through the nightmare of Alice pushing me down them. "I haven't been here in awhile, Bella. I wanted to make sure that it was clean. Normally, I do that myself, but considering I only have two days here with you, scrubbing the toilets just didn't intrigue me."

I didn't know what to expect, but certainly the wave of nostalgia that overwhelmed me wasn't unexpected. It was different, the walls painted warmer colors, the carpet replaced with hard wood floors, a large entertainment center with all the requisite "man" gizmos, the furniture masculine but welcoming…but the structure was the same…the back wall composed of glass overlooking the yard, the veritable sense of security. I started to shake with the emotions that swamped me. This house had represented refuge and love to me…shades of laughter and acceptance. The last time I'd been here had been a day of family fun. The next time I'd come, I'd never made it past the stairs that Edward pulled me up.

The banister of the staircase leading upstairs still gleamed as if lovingly polished, and the house smelled of cleaner and lemon and…just home.

Against my will, tears welled in my eyes.

"Please don't cry," he gasped, pulling me to him. "I didn't consider that being here would upset you, or I'd never brought you."

"No, it's just overwhelming. Did you mother help with the decorations?" I asked, curious as to how it'd felt for her to be here, but also needing to take the focus off of me.

A blush stole over his cheeks. "They don't know. I did it myself, using a middle man when I needed to. This was for me…" He left off, turning me so that I could see the rest.

"All of it," I thought of the upstairs…the bedrooms, the master…and the space that Carlisle had used as his office.

"Well, only a few of the rooms upstairs are furnished. I haven't had the need for much more."

"Show me."

"Upstairs?"

"Yes, I'd like to see what you've done."

Turning to the right at the top of the stairs, he opened the first door to the left. It'd been done into a guest bedroom. Soft muted colors blended well with the golden wood floor. A large bed sat comfortably to where the occupants could see out the windows, the small sitting area was comfy and cozy. It'd been Emmett's room during the time they'd lived here. I could see that the bathroom, shared between this room and Edward's old one, had also been redone with large tiles decorating the floor.

"I set this up as the guest room, in case I finally got the nerve to invite Em and Rose, or Alice and Jazz down."

I noticed that my luggage had been placed beside the bed. Quirking my lip at such properness, I let him lead me to the next door. It was his study and had been Carlisle's. Edward had put a door through to the master beside it, but the bookcases were still intact and decorated with a small amount of books. A picture decorated the wall, and it caught my attention. It was a swan, solitary against a deep green lake. It was beautifully done, but it made me sad to look at it. Looking back, I caught Edward watching me with anxious eyes. Through the door behind him, I saw that the master bedroom had been totally redesigned.

Passing by him, I moved to the doorway, stepping in to run the tips of my fingers along the top of the short chest of drawers. Gone was the high boy bed and matching ornate cherry wood furniture. In its place was a low cherry California king–sized headboard that gently curved back from the broad expanse of the mattress. The dark of the wood was accented by a cream coverlet with a subtle design in the material. Chocolate brown pillows served as accents on the bed, which was matched in the supple leather of the chairs that made up the sitting area before the plate glass that made up an entire wall. As it had then, the room overlooked the verdant back yard and the Sol Duc River. The minimal decorations within the room, the low bed, the light wood floors, and the neutral colors made the outside natural masterpiece the focus. It was soothing. Immensely so.

"You did an amazing job in here," I turned to tell him and found him gazing at me, fire in his eyes.

"I find it very peaceful." His voice was gruff.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head as if to clear it. "Seeing you here…it's a dream come true."

"Your room, what have you done with it."

A ghost of pain washed across his face. "Nothing. It and Alice's old room are still empty."

"Why?"

He didn't answer, and I wanted to see for myself the room I most remembered in this house. Moving quickly down the hallway, I knew he followed.

"Bella, it's empty," he said again, but I slung open the door anyway.

Empty. Lifeless. Void.

White walls, clean neutral carpet, empty bookshelves…not even the benefit of curtains to shade the room. I felt betrayed and turned on him.

"Why?" He seemed shocked by my question. "Did our memories mean so little?"

"What?" he uttered, confused. Then he grimaced. "Bella, I took the master bedroom because it was bigger."

"Liar!" He jumped at the word. "You took it because you didn't want to be in here."

A small amount of the anger I felt must have leaked into him because his eyes narrowed. He lost it. "I fucked her on the bed where we both lost our virginities. I did everything I could to leach you out of this room, yet it didn't work. You haunted me, in the flicker of the sunlight across the carpet, in the smell that I swear had seeped into the walls, in the delusions of you coming through the doorway from the bathroom," he said, nodding to where the bathroom he'd shared with Emmett stood, the door open showing the tile I'd noticed before. "No matter what I did, it didn't work. I became almost psychotic trying to deal with your ghost. When I bought the house, I came back in here, thinking that perhaps you would return to me, but ironically all I could feel in this room was shame." He moved closer to me. "Knowing what I did, how can you stand to be in here? I destroyed it all!" He was vibrating in anger, rage most likely directed at himself.

It was as if the anger had taken hold of us both, flinging words out between us that we'd tried to keep at bay.

"I know that." The words escaped me, and he stilled, looking at me with an emotion I must have mistaken, because it looked ironically like hope. "Don't you think it killed me to know she most likely visited you here? To have her confirm it that night at the competition. This was us…sacred…but you despoiled it by going to her. Don't you think it destroyed me when I found out you were with her the night you left me. To find that out from the gossips in town. To wonder what I'd done, what I lacked, why I couldn't be blonde and beautiful so that you would love me again?"

He took a deep breath tinged with pain.

"But what you don't understand, that I've come to accept, is that it wasn't my Edward that did all of that. It was the boy suffering from betrayal and drugs and manipulation. Of course I've thought about her, about how badly you hurt me with her. I'm not crazy, Edward! But I refuse to allow her to come between us again, and to let that hurt control everything would mean she's won." I stepped to him, taking away any space between us. "And I refuse to allow her to do that this time."

"That's what I needed to hear, Bella!" he said in a rush, placing his hands on my arms. He choked when he tried to speak again and had to force the words out. "I just needed to know that you'd considered it, thought through it, assessed it. I wanted to know that somewhere down the road, when we meet a former lover of mine, or someone brings her up, that you've pondered it, so that we can together. That's all I've been asking."

"And all I've been asking is that you let us mend the fence as we find the holes. It hurt Edward, in here." I took one of his hands and placed it over my heart. "Your betrayal of me with Tanya was cruel and vicious, but what we have can be pure and beautiful. This room needs to reflect us, Edward, not the void. I gave myself to you in love here; it was special, and is still one of the two best moments in my life…Carlie's birth being the other. That too, started here…her life. If nothing else, make it her room, to honor what is the best of both of us. Do something; just don't leave it this way, as if ignoring it will somehow miraculously heal the pain."

Then what I'd said hit me, because I'd been doing that exact thing by remaining adamant about not telling him exactly how much it had hurt. Tears sprung to my eyes, and he panicked, hurrying to brush them away with his thumb. When it didn't work, he began kissing my cheeks as if to stop the flow.

His plan to squire me around town to show his esteem of me to those he'd belittled me in front of, the realization that we'd both been holding back…but no longer, the feeling of being home, truly home, they all soaked into me, and I turned to capture his lips with mine.

Home…

Healing…

Peace…

"Edward…" I sighed when he let me breathe for a moment, his green eyes gazing down into mine, clear for the first time "…make love to me."

Love… I thought as he reached down to pull me into his arms.

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><p><strong>Yes, I know - I stopped there. How dare I? SMILE. <strong>

**Did you read the AN? I already have 4000 words done on what happens next. My betas would've killed me if I tried to post a 10000+ word chapter!**

**After some of the PMs I've gotten about this story this week, I would love to hear what, if anything, you appreciate about it.**


	59. Souls

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

**Posting this a day early because I was surprised with a treat tomorrow. Hope you enjoy.**

**For those who have emailed, PM'd, or reviewed to me with support, I can't tell you how much it means to me. I feel so bad that I haven't been able to respond to your responses personally. Your support means everything!**

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><p><em>His plan to squire me around town to show his esteem of me to those he'd belittled me in front of, the realization that we'd both been holding back…but no longer, the feeling of being home, truly home, they all soaked into me, and I turned to capture his lips with mine. <em>

_Home…_

_Healing…_

_Peace…_

"_Edward…" I sighed when he let me breathe for a moment, his green eyes gazing down into mine, clear for the first time "…make love to me."_

_Love… I thought as he reached down to pull me into his arms._

**Bella POV**

"Before we return home, if you'll allow me, I want to make love to you here in this room, to wipe away the stain and create new memories," he murmured against my hair before turning determinedly toward the hallway and the master bedroom.

Yes…exactly, I thought snuggling against him and breathing in his addictive scent. We were definitely going to do that, maybe more than once.

A groan tore from his chest when I used the advantage of my place in his arms to kiss his neck, nipping the skin lightly. I barely felt the spinning motion before he pressed me up against the hallway wall, knocking a picture loose. As it clattered to the floor, he wrapped my legs around his hips, and his kiss was immediate and sizzling. When he leaned into me, the feel of his hard body pressing against me sent my senses racing and stole my breath. Turning his head slightly in order to capture my gasping lips, he touched the tip of his tongue to them and traced greedily, nipping me with his teeth when I needed to breath, sucking my bottom lip in to taste it.

"Bella," he growled subtly, kissing along my jaw line to bite my ear. The sting of his teeth cause me to twist in desire against him as he continued along my neck, making me see red as my fingers tore into his hair, pulling it harshly in need.

Somehow, I had the wherewithal to wiggle one hand to his stomach, slipping it under his sweater to rest against his skin. When I touched him, his muscles quivered, and he sucked in a deep breath, having to break from his worship.

He gazed down at me, pupils dark and large. Then, his hands grasped the collars of my shirt, and the next sound was that of buttons scattering across the wood floor of the hallway as he tore them off in his haste to get to me, exposing the lace edging of my bra. Bowing his head reverently to the flesh he'd uncovered, Edward's lips traced my collar bone and top curve of my breasts, skimming across the sensitive skin and causing goose bumps to pebble all over my body.

"God, you taste so good," he said softly, his hips settling into mine with purpose. Frantic, I arched in reaction to the pleasure, pushing my breasts up toward him in offering, wanting him to take me there against the wall.

"Please…" I panted, holding his head to me, pulling him closer, needing to feel his teeth against my aching flesh, to feel him take me in his mouth. Moving against him, I moaned when bursts of pleasure shot out from where we touched. I pulled at his sweater and hair and grasped at his arms frantically while enjoying the play of our lips.

Like a wolf scenting prey, he raised his head and looked down at me in a decidedly hungry manner. Then, shaking his head a little, he seemed to draw in strength from somewhere. For a few moments, he placed his forehead against mine, deep pants of his breath fanning out across my face as he purposely calmed down.

"Not the first time," he said of our haste. At my cry of distress, he chuckled hoarsely. "Trust me…having you against a wall is one of my many and prolific fantasies, but tonight, I want to savor you," he explained, trembling in need even as he said it. "Please?" he asked me…for my permission.

Forcing myself to calm as well, I nodded in agreement and heard his deeply sighed "thank you."

The next kiss he gave was gentle. Supporting me in order for me to stay wrapped around him, he cupped my butt and then pushed from the wall, walking again toward his bedroom. How we got there through the long kisses and caresses, I couldn't say, but when we reached the side of the bed, he finally allowed me to slide down to stand before him.

"Beautiful," he said, his thumb brushing over my cheekbone gently, although his hand shook slightly as he cupped my face. "So beautiful. I keep waiting to wake up and find that this is a dream," he added before leaning down for another kiss. His hand dropped to my shoulder and adding the other, he brushed my shirt off me, quickly unbuttoning the sleeves so that it fluttered to the floor.

Keeping his eyes locked to mine for just a second, he said simply, "My love."

I thanked all the heavens above that I'd decided to wear one of my matched sets of lingerie below the simple button up shirt I'd paired with jeans. The dusty rose push-up bra actually made me look amazing. Leah would say "the girls stood at attention" in it. Either way, when he finally looked at me, Edward's eyes slanted and his pupils expanded so that they appeared black with lust. Reaching up slowly, he placed his fingertips to the top of the lace and followed it gently to where the snap laid waiting for him to flick it open. My nipples hardened as I imagined him releasing me and how it would feel to have his hands or lips on my breasts. The desire racing through me caused a blush to spread across my chest and face, and I heard Edward hiss. His fingers twitched as if he would follow through on what I wanted, but then he moved to place a kiss over my racing heart before he ran his nose across my skin as if he was breathing me in.

"To see that blush across your skin…it is perfection."

Straightening, he pulled me in again for another kiss. This one was just a little more uncontrolled; a little rougher…with just a touch of wildness. I felt him hard against me through his jeans and trembled. The ache between my legs grew, and I wanted to scream that I needed him...now…but the soft seduction was worth it. I savored him now, but as his tongue brushed mine, tasting and teasing, I knew it wouldn't be long before I was begging.

Almost dizzy before he released me this time, I took advantage of his disorientation to pull his sweater up and place a kiss on the scarring the bullet had inflicted. "Off," I directed of his sweater, and it landed somewhere on the floor. Taking a moment, I admired him as he had me…the clearly defined sinewy muscles, the fine copper color hair that dusted his chest and trailed across his stomach glistening in the evening light filtering in through the plate glass, the puckered skin that marred the perfection of his chest near his heart. Somehow the atrocity made him even more alluring. Perhaps it was because it was a vivid reminder of just how much we'd almost lost. Reaching up, I placed my fingertips on the scar reverently and felt him shiver at my touch. My fingers trailed across his skin, up and over his shoulders and down over the strong muscles of his arms, continuing on to quickly squeeze his hands gently before releasing them.

"Beautiful," I said of him, unable to find something unique to adequately describe his almost ethereal looks. He deserved the praise far more than I did.

Another hungry kiss had me groaning as I felt his skin against mine, the soft hairs of his chest playing over me. Wanting to feel it fully, I went to take off my bra, but he stopped me. Pulling our, again linked, hands to his mouth, he nibbled at my wrist and then followed the sensitive inner skin up across my elbow and to the tender skin of my upper arm.

"Hang on, love."

He said the words so low, I almost didn't hear them over the pounding of my heart. Turning me around gently so that I faced away from him, he gathered my hair and draped it over my shoulder seemingly content to kiss my upper back and neck. When his hand brushed down my arms again and then across my stomach, I almost collapsed. The sound of my jeans unsnapping and then the low noise of the zipper releasing made my breath come out in puffs. His fingers came to rest on the quivering muscles just above the rose lace of the boy shorts I wore. Slowly, as he nibbled at the curve of my neck, his hand moved under the denim, sliding it down over my hips. Fire raced along behind where his fingertips traveled.

Following my spine with his lips, he lowered as he pushed the denim down. A tap at my ankle had me raising first my right leg to be divested of both my Van slip on and my jeans. He did the same with the left side before trailing the fingers back up my calf, sensitive backs of my knees, and over my thighs. Teasing me, he skimmed under the lace of my panties, following over the fullness of my behind. I felt him move quickly and realized that he was kicking my jeans and shoes away from us.

"Perfect," he snarled out. His voice was rough, as if he was having a hard time remaining in control, and his obvious struggle made me feel powerful. I pushed back against him, rubbing the scrap of silk covering my bottom against the thickness straining against his jeans. "Tempting me?" he asked in a voice that made me shudder. He turned me back to him as I reeled from the dark promise in his tone.

I cried out when I saw his face…the way his eyes were heavy lidded with passion, the wildness of his face with the skin stretched tautly over his cheekbones in lust, his black gaze focused on me as if I was a great prize. Reverently brushing my hair back over my shoulder, I saw his fists close as if he was attempting to keep himself from lunging. Greedy eyes traveled down the length of me, but then I saw an expression of such love wash over him that I wondered his thoughts.

Falling to his knees, Edward raised his shaking fingers to my stomach. There he seemed to be tracing gently, and it hit me…he was following my stretch marks. Passion was banked for a moment as his eyes seemed to follow his fingers adoringly. For the briefest second, I felt embarrassed, even though I'd long held them as some of my greatest possessions. Then Edward opened his mouth.

"I've seen many masterpieces of great beauty over the few years of my life, Bella. Nothing, even the Rembrandts, Picassos, and Monet's I've had the privilege of viewing, compare to this…to you."

His lips feathering across the faint lines was almost my undoing, and I had to battle the tears as I allowed him to pay homage to the faint lines. He took his time, following the imperfections…that he considered perfections. Clearly enthralled, he seemed in no hurry, so when he rose to stand again, I gasped as he pulled me into his arms to then lower me to the bed beside us. Barely registering the thumps of his shoes hitting the floor, I watched hungrily as he made to remove his jeans.

"Wait!" I cried out throwing my hand out in petition, wanting to just look at him from where I sprawled across his bed.

He was a masterpiece himself…shirtless, jeans hanging low over his hips, his erection straining to be released. Above the low riding denim, muscles stood out across his toned stomach and chest. His hair was in chaotic disarray, compliments of the many times I'd threaded my fingers through it. He was temptation incarnate, while at the same time being the embodiment of all I'd ever remembered of him…loving, considerate, and expressive.

Moving to my knees and then over to him, I watched the play of emotions across his face carefully as I reached down to where he'd undone his zipper. Desire, love, need, fear, expectation…the marriage of them on his features was stunning.

As he'd done to me, I slid my fingers between his skin and the denim, enjoying the slide of my fingertips over the firm muscles I encountered. I, however, pushed both jeans and boxers down, revealing the masterpiece that had been hidden from me. Yes, I'd touched him in the garden, held him in my hands, felt him come apart in my grasp, but I'd been so intent on watching his face and expressions, that I hadn't really looked at him. So after seeing him breathe deeply at the brief brush of my hands over him, I indulged myself and backed up to look.

Micheangelo's David had nothing on Edward…nothing! He'd always been gorgeous, but age had been his friend. While still lean through the hips, he had more muscle than I remembered, and it made him a masterpiece of strength and virility. I gasped, taking in his erection, remembering just how afraid I'd been as kids that we weren't going to fit together and then later how incredibly complete I'd felt when he'd seated himself in me, filling me to the point of exquisite completeness.

The feelings and emotions made me shift restlessly. Fans of desire flared out from between my legs, racing across my skin and making me flush, and my insides clenched in anticipation, causing me to shudder under his hooded gaze. Holding out my hand to him, I silently begged for him to join me, and when he did, bringing his naked body to my barely clothed one, pushing me down into the soft mattress, the silence was no more, the feel of him against me, pulling a sigh of pleasure from me.

Puzzle piece to puzzle piece.

And then he stopped and froze. "Wait, I have condoms…" He started to rise, but I stopped him.

"I take the shot, Edward. It helps with my periods," I murmured, still flush with the feel of him against me.

"Oh God," he whispered before clenching his hands over my hip bones.

His tongue teased across my breast, brushing over my silk-covered nipple, and when he reached my bra snap he used his teeth to open it. My breasts were heavy and sensitive from the tender foreplay, so when he nuzzled me, I cried out his name and felt his smile against me. Nothing came out though when his teeth captured my left breast, the rasp of his tongue curving around my nipple. It was heaven and hell, and I wrapped my legs around his hips, bringing him flush against the moisture drenched silk that covered me. Sliding between me and the bed, one of his arms encircled me, arching me up to him more as he suckled. Heat pooled thick in my belly and spread deliciously, as the throbbing started and his tongue pulled at me, teeth grazing me teasingly. It was becoming painful to be without him. He moved slowly away to give my other breast the same dedication, the fingers of his free hand capturing the nipple he'd just left, plucking at me. The sensation was overwhelming, and I never wanted him to move from me.

"Edward…" My eyes closed, and I panted from the pleasure, my head moving back and forth on the thick bedding. "Please…" Just a bare scrap of material separated us, and I wanted it gone…needed him to slide in me and fill the ache.

"Please what?" he said in an emotion laden voice.

When I opened my eyes, it was to find him balanced on his elbows above me, his chest pressed to mine…the fine sprinkling of hair tantalizing my nipples as his tongue had. Crazy sex hair, barely green eyes, passion flushed face…

"I need you." I didn't even recognize my own voice. He still remained still as if waiting for something more. Need was a physical thing, I realized…and it was then I knew what he was holding back for. "I want you."

The magic words.

He reached up and gently pulled my glasses off, placing them on the side table. Then, I gasped as his fingers skimmed between my legs, slicking over the silk covering me. Lifting up to him, I plunged my fingers into his hair and attacked his mouth while his fingers worked magic. I needed to come; I needed to fall apart around him and almost did when I felt his fingers against my bare flesh. The taste of him, the smell of our passion, the feel of flesh against flesh…I was beyond control. Screaming when his fingers entered me, hitting the spot that drove me wild, his name tore from my lips, begging sounds, pleas, and cries.

Hearing his harsh chuckle, I stilled when I felt him poised to enter me. "Look at me," he demanded. When I did, even through the slight haze, I saw the connection in his eyes as our souls recognized each other, and he pushed slowly, gently into me. "Fuck…so tight." He trembled, eyes wild before saying, "Mine."

Desire twisted his features, and I didn't know if it was same for him…but for me, it was as if with every inch, the tear between us began to heal. My hands clenched his upper arms and felt the tremors that ran through them. I had to breathe through his possession, the feeling of being overfull magnified by the simple glory of it. To have him inside me was beyond description.

"Bella…" he said softly, reverently, when he possessed me fully. Needing more, I shifted against him, tightening my legs around his hips just a little tighter. He slid just a little deeper and closed his eyes for just a moment in reaction. "Love...I…" he gave up on words.

Feeling his head dragging against my walls, my eyes rolled back into my head when he gently pulled out. Too much…too tight…not enough…more. Everything, every feeling, every caress, every touch pooled low…and when he pushed hard, grinding his hips against me, I shattered. My walls spasmed around him as wave after wave tore through me. I heard myself screaming his name, but was blinded again by the release that caused me to rock and twist against him uncontrollably, as more and more waves crashed against me. Falling back to Earth and the bed, I felt him still hard and thick in me.

My eyes opened to a fallen angel, wicked in desire, ready to drag me into temptation again. He pulled my legs back around his hips and I keened in pain or pleasure as he moved slowly while I still fluttered softly around him.

"Edward…" I stuttered, unable to conceive traveling to those heights again so soon.

"Again, Bella…again," he murmured as if reading my thoughts, throwing his head back so that the muscles in his neck stood out.

This time, his movements were deep and strong. Fire consumed me, licking at my skin, lips, and neck. Nothing but the movement of the man above and within me mattered as he flung me toward heaven, where nothing but blinding light existed. Here, he growled my name as he completed me, and we collapsed together.

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><p><strong>AN: Edward's thoughts and perspective up next!**

**Thoughts?**


	60. Union

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

**I've been contacted by the Fandom for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (Fandom 4LLS) to do a contribution to their fund raiser. I've had the thought to do an outtake of the day of Edward's betrayal and Bella's realization that she's been discarded. However, I would like to hear from the readers as to whether or not they'd even be interested. Please let me know either by PM or review. I would love to know your thoughts? **

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

My arms shook from the physical and emotional communion I'd just experienced with Bella. Almost collapsing onto her, I found enough strength to instead wrap my arms around her and turn onto my back, dragging her half across me.

Pain seared across my chest, and fire raced through my lungs from the exertion, but I was sadomasochistic enough to almost enjoy it. It seemed symbolic…as if something raced through me burning away the impurities and replacing them with something new and refined…something better. I chuckled internally at my poetic waxing, while still cringing through the physical aftermath of the miracle that'd just happened. Taking several deep breaths, I focused on mentally expelling the throbbing occurring around my heart and in my lungs. Pain or not, I'd go through it again in a minute to experience the intimacy that'd just been shared. Would be shared again in a few more if Bella would allow me.

She lay sprawled across my chest where I'd pulled her, and I could feel her heart still racing.

Stirring, she propped up to gaze down into my eyes. Her hair was a riot of finger ravaged waves, her eyes passion hooded. The lips I craved to taste again appeared swollen with the kisses we'd exchanged, and a faint blush stained her cheeks miraculously. That she was pressed flush against me didn't escape my notice. Parts of me began to stir to life at the delicious feel of her breasts. Breathing out delicately, she grinned and then bit her lip.

"Oh God, Bella..." I shuddered beneath her at the sight of it. "When you do that, I want to take you all over."

Her eyes flared wide, but I could tell that she was intrigued. "I think even you would have a hard time coming up with a repeat performance so quickly, Edward."

To prove her wrong, I wrapped my fingers around her hips and aligned her better. If I'd thought her eyes were wide before, they were owlish now.

"Oh…" she said with a degree of astonishment. Then I saw the desire laced mischief take over. Leaning over me, she placed her lips just above my chest so that the vibrations of her words would stir over my nipple. "Oh!" she purred, moving her hips in a sensual motion against me causing me to growl and shift in a hungry manner beneath her.

Sitting up, she pressed down against me, her heat and moisture bathing me, and my cock jerked in reaction, eliciting a moan from her.

"My turn," she murmured and leaned back down to take my nipple in her mouth, tugging at it with her teeth before licking away the sting.

"Bella!" I barked out hoarsely, but she captured my lips, silencing me.

Desire seared through me, and I plunged my fingers in her hair, holding her to me tightly as we made love with our mouths. Another hoarse cry escaped me when she rocked against me, her hips moving sinfully against mine. Tearing her lips from me, she skimmed down my neck, nipping slightly here or there.

"So loving last time," she murmured. "It felt amazing to have you in me, Edward." Shuddering against me in a way that twisted me up inside, she eased over me, her lips following.

Heat filled me making me almost blind with the sensation of it. Fuck! The feel of her teasing me…I was going to come apart long before I should. When her lips passed across my abdomen, I stopped breathing. Using my last breath, I growled and heard her chuckle.

"What's wrong, babe?" she whispered into my ear, having moved back to it while I tried to learn to breathe again. "I want my lips on you…to taste you." A wheezed breath escaped my chest. "But not yet," she said impishly. Straddling me again, she placed her heat to my throbbing hardness, pressing me deliciously against my stomach. I saw stars and had to close my eyes for just a moment to keep from exploding. "Relax," she requested, capturing my gaze again. She only had to arch her eyebrow at me subtly to gain my cooperation. "Just be still and let me touch you."

Doing so, I was treated to one of the most humbling and poignant expressions of love I could ever imagine.

Her long hair framed her in chaotic mess, teasing her shoulders and partially obscuring her breasts. It was an erotic vision really - her nipples being hidden and revealed as she moved. Her lips parted softly as she closed her eyes and moved her fingertips over my forehead and then across my eyebrows. It was almost physically painful to close my eyes when she skimmed my eyelids, because I wanted to watch her as she touched me. Fire followed her caresses as she memorized my face. It was almost as if the sensitive nerves under my skin jumped up to be stroked by her…leaped for an opportunity to be close to her magic. I couldn't help the needy groan that tore out of me when her fingers brushed across my lips. My desire increased when she stopped for a moment and pushed several fingers into my mouth, allowing me to suckle them like I'd like to do to her breasts or against her clit. The thought had me arching into her slightly, pushing my cock against the heat and wetness of her even as she rocked her fingers softly in and out across my lips.

I cried out when she pulled them from me, moving both of her hands to my hair. There she intermittently tugged at the strands and scratched her nails across my scalp. Her nose followed her hands down across my neck, and I felt her lips curve into a smile against me. I imagined she was enjoying how I smelt, as I did her. She was an elusive mix of strawberries, freesia, and warmth to me. What did she capture from me I wondered?

"Bella…" my voice was deep and husky.

"Hmmm…" she hummed just above the curve of my neck, the feel of it making me break out in a fine sweat.

"Talk to me for just a moment. What do I smell like to you?"

She laughed softly, and I cringed. That had been such an awkward way to ask, but I didn't know how else I could have worded it.

My hips lifted into her aggressively when I felt her tongue move across my skin. "Hmm…"

"Smell not taste," I squeaked, and she chuckled in a very satisfied manner.

"I've never been able to define it, Edward. A mixture of dirt..."

"HEY!" I grumped, and she smiled against my collar bone.

"Shush! Good dirt…that rich, thick smell that the forest gets after a good rain. You just want to breathe it in and let it soak into you. Add in leather and lust and sin…and chocolate. Definitely chocolate because you were always sneaking some, and that habit just added to the need I had to eat you up. It was definitely addictive." She lifted so that I could see her again, but kept her eyes closed. "Now…" she placed her fingers to my lips again, silently telling me to be quiet.

A blush rose on her cheeks as she followed across my shoulders, letting her fingers drag across the muscles there before moving to my chest. Her touch made goose bumps rise over my skin as I fought the lust that almost overwhelmed me when she traveled across my nipples.

"Fuck…" the word tore from me as I grabbed her hips and pulled her harder down onto me. I wanted to be in her, but I was attempting to let her have control this time. But damned if I wasn't going to enjoy rubbing against her, sliding through the wetness and heat that cradled me. She whimpered above me, moving against me slightly as well.

_Fight, Edward!_ I told myself. She wants you to be still. When my control won out, she continued with her torture of me, moving softly across to tease my nipples. I wanted her to bite me, and the secretive smile and the way her closed eyes slanted told me that she knew exactly what she was doing.

"I can feel you vibrating under me, Edward. When I touch the spots that are your weakness, your body and reactions give you away." I gasped as she moved her left hand to brush along the curve of my neck, lips, and then back over my nipple. "I knew about those. But this one…" she ran her fingertip behind my ear scratching along the hair line and making my eyes roll back into my head "…is new."

She chuckled in a very seductive manner. This time when I forced my eyes to open, she was gazing at me.

"Like that?" she asked huskily.

"Oh God, yes," I begged, ready to plead with her to continue, willing to accept that I might embarrass myself quickly.

"Soon…"

I whined as she moved her fingers away from my hair, closing her eyes again. And then my torture began again as she traced the muscles of my stomach, investigating them one by one. When she finally followed the line of my hair toward where her body pinned my very excited and willing cock, I hissed, harshly grasping her hips.

"Love!"

"I still have your legs and back to go," she threatened. My heart seized at the thought, and she felt my body tense.

My need was long past desire or want; it was necessity. I had to have her, to feel her surround me, to have the succor of her warm, tight sex wrapped around me. "I need you," I panted out, and she finally stopped her exploration, lifting her hips and poising to where the tip of my cock brushed against her swollen lips.

"Bella!" Her name was half sigh, half worship as she lowered onto me, opening her eyes so that I could see the desire clawing at her. Heat scalded me, causing me to clench my muscles to keep from cuming immediately.

She was a mesmerizing sight, her hair flung behind her shoulders, eyes closed as she focused on the movement of slowly raising and then lowering herself on me, full breasts bouncing softly. Gently, she repeated the movement several times, trying different rhythms or angles, but always stopping as she seated me in her deeply. The features of her face twitched in lust, as I gritted my teeth at the need to fill her. But she continued, stopping at times to "see" me through her senses, moving her fingers over me, tugging at the fine hair on my abdomen, leaning down to worship me with her lips, tasting and nipping across my chest. Her lovemaking was gentle, torturous, and winsome, and it was driving me crazy…the heat building to the point of excruciating agony. Yet I continued to watch her, waiting…

She knew the precise moment that lust and passion broke through my restraint…when her face swam in a dark haze of desire and my body demanded to take her, to surge within her wildly, and to ensure that she screamed my name while I claimed her. She smiled seductively down at me and arched her eyebrow in challenge. Hell yes! Lunging, I grabbed her, one hand around her hip and the other to her shoulder, showing her how hard I wanted it. At the same time, I planted my feet firmly against the mattress, letting my instincts go, and rising to meet her firmly and deeply.

She was beautiful, sin incarnate as she moved over me, and I released her shoulder to cup her breast. Her cry of pleasure at my caress wrapped around us, tickling across my skin in reward and calling to the less civilized part of me. When she leaned back, placing her hands on my thighs, her position took away my ability to move, but it didn't matter, because it tightened her around me deliciously. She gasped from the pressure it created against her clit, and with both hands I flicked my fingers across her nipples, pinching them gently and enjoying her reaction.

A moan escaped her just before she moved to link our fingers together. Hands securely bound…symbolic of our commitment to get through all of it together…she increased her pace until all I could contemplate was the heat, the wetness, the pull of her surrounding me and the frantic need. Push…pull…cries of pleasure…depth…Bella's skin flowing across mine…mouths seeking, tasting…lips worshipping.

Fire…desire…passion…lust…overtook me when she cried out, her body clenching around and pulling at me. Arching to push as deeply as I could up into her, I called out her name and then cursed as I emptied into the heaven her body gave. I was blinded for a moment from the perfection, my muscles locked from the waves of heat scalding me. As Bella shuddered against me again, I heard her sob, and then the rush washed over me, rendering me incapable of movement or speech, the buzzing in my head a clear aftermath of the endorphins running through me.

_So perfect…so good._ I thought as I collapsed to the mattress.

Panting, she sprawled on top of me, her weight barely registering. But the wear of the day and the perfect sublime bliss controlled me; I was still too weak from the surgery and recovery.

"Bella, let's rest," I offered, knowing that it had been a draining day for the both of us. We were a pair, both still healing physically while trying to reconcile the emotional wounds I'd inflicted.

As if it took the last ounce of strength she had, she glanced up, and I found her eyes as sleepy as mine. She barely grinned before rolling her head to place her cheek to my chest. But I doubted she beat me into sleep.

~SOMP~

A soft rain tapped against the windows, waking me gently. An incredible sense of peace saturated the area around me, and for a moment, I was lulled in the void between sleep and waking. It wasn't often I felt such calm, such serenity. Then reality began to niggle through the haze and knowledge hit.

Bella was in my arms!

Although I wanted to shout in joy, I refused to move, taking stock instead of where we were - in my bed, cocooned by the covers, skin to skin, her hand over my heart as if she was protecting it. With the rain, quiet, and growing darkness, it was as if we were safe in our own little world.

We'd made love! Dear God…

Panic started to seize me. Had it been too soon? Probably…definitely, but she'd begged, and I just wasn't strong enough to stay away from her.

It had been so beautiful, and I'd come close to losing it at first, wanting her so badly that I could taste it. But I wanted more and therefore I knew I had to treat her as the precious miracle she was. It'd been easy, particularly when I'd caught my first glance of her skin against the dusty rose of her lingerie. My memories of her hadn't done her justice. Full breasts, long and lean back, narrowed waist and the flare of hips that were no longer narrow, but perfect with the swell of womanhood.

But I'd been humbled when I'd seen the faint lines across her abdomen. Instead of being detracting, they'd emphasized her perfection, like the faint but purposeful strokes of the famous artists…the texture that gave the masterpiece the depth and perspective. She'd nourished Carlie here, protected her. I'd tried to tell her just how much the brushes of God's hand had meant to me, but I'd failed miserably. Nothing called to my doctor's soul more than to see the birth of a child and to see the joy on the mother's face as she held her child the first time, cradled the spirit that she'd nurtured for so long. I'd long given up on having a wife or a child, believing that the woman beside me had moved on. So each time I'd been privileged to be a part of a delivery, the experience had been bittersweet. To know that Bella had gone through that…with our child…

My emotions as I'd kissed her stomach had been as much sadness as joy.

But then the caresses had begun again, and I'd felt them not only on my skin, but in my heart and soul. Desire so strong it had been overwhelming had filled me when we touched. When I'd joined our bodies, the feeling of her surrounding me, the heat and snugness had been nirvana. To have the first emotional joining followed by her seeking caresses had been indescribable.

Just thinking about it already had my body, "Jr.," I thought with some degree of irony, stirring again. I refused to address my cock like I had as an adolescent. Possessive fool… We were no longer seventeen years old, and I wasn't going to think that way. That level of maturity had led to heartbreak for both Bella and me.

Brushing my fingers gently through her silky hair, it took all I had not to sigh when she snuggled unconsciously against me, her fingers tightening on me gently as if she was determining if I was still there. If we could stay here forever, I would contemplate it, assuming we could work Carlie into the mix. I wanted to move enough that I could just watch Bella sleep, but I didn't want to risk waking her so I'd lay with her instead and enjoyed the steady beat of her heart against me.

The sense of belonging, or maybe I should call it completion, at knowing she was in my arms was surreal. I'd been searching for it ever since I'd wakened from my drug induced oblivion years ago. Intuitively, I'd always known that I wouldn't find it with anyone other than her, but I wasn't obtuse enough to say that I hadn't at least attempted. Futile attempts, but attempts nonetheless. There had been a few women I'd seen that should have been possibilities. They'd been wonderful, articulate, intelligent, funny, and motivated. But they hadn't been Bella. Was it just this way when you found your soul mate?

I wanted to talk with her about it, but I didn't know if she would be willing, because it would mean broaching the subject of the other women. I couldn't talk with Alice, because Jasper had been her only lover, and Emmett, surprisingly, had been with just one other woman before he met Rose.

Elizabeth, perhaps?

But then Jasper's face raced through my mind. Perfect! He'd understand. Although he hadn't fallen in love with Alice and then left and betrayed her, he did know about the sometimes mindless dating scene. I just had to figure out the appropriate way to ask my brother-in-law if making love to my sister, his soul mate, was just intrinsically different and more fulfilling than the other women he'd been with. I'd take him out for dinner; he'd be blunt with me as he always had been.

Bella's stomach rumbling in rhythm with the gentle thunder outside interrupted my contemplation and made me smile. Nothing ever changed. We'd had dinner, but that had been several hours and particularly vigorous lovemaking sessions ago. She was hungry. And although I would love to stay cuddle to her side until she woke up, I wanted to surprise her as well, so I gently eased out from around her, grinning like a fool when she reached up and pulled my pillow into her, wrapping her arms around it like she did me. It took me a minute to find my boxers, considering the clothing thrown around the room, but when I did, I made my way quickly out into the hallway and down the stairs.

We'd bought some grapes and strawberries, along with cheese and crackers. They'd be perfect for a snack. Realizing that I'd forgotten my meds, that I wasn't hurting beyond what should be expected for the very pleasurable activity Bella and I had just indulged in, and that it had been since early morning that I'd taken my last one, I grabbed a bottle of white wine from the small rack in the industrial refrigerator. Wanting to be back before she woke up, I hurriedly washed the fruit, cut thin slices of several varieties of the cheese, and grabbed a box of thin crackers. At the last moment, I thought to grab some bottled waters, just in case, and two wine glasses before flying back up the stairs.

As if on cue, she stirred as I walked through the door, rising to one elbow and using her hand to push the curtain of hair back from around her face. Rumpled, cheeks still flush, and lips slightly bruised, she looked amazing. "I woke up and you weren't here," she said in a slightly accusatory manner. But then her stomach rumbled loudly as if it had more right to complain it's status than the fact she'd woken up in our…OUR!….bed alone.

I flicked the nearest light switch so that the can lights in the corners would provide a soft glow. When I pulled the tray I'd prepared forward so that she could see it better, her expression changed to gratitude. "You are so forgiven," she said hoarsely, already moving out of the covers to meet me.

My jaw dropped at the beauty before me. With the sheets rippling around her, she looked almost like one of the Sirens rising from the ocean waves, come to lure me. Song or no, I would be willing to follow her to my death, I realized. But she was coming to me, and I saw the moment her nakedness hit her. She looked around as if she was attempting to find something that I hadn't destroyed in my haste. Grabbing her glasses to see if they helped, I watched her lips quirk at the futility. For me, she could've walked around naked, but I knew she'd be more comfortable with something on, and my attention would definitely be less scattered. Stepping over to the table, I set the tray down before I dropped it in my distraction.

"I'll get you something to wear," I said quickly, moving toward my dresser as she walked unabashedly toward me.

"Thank you," she said enthusiastically, brushing her hand across my stomach when we passed one another.

I was back before she'd even popped the second grape in her mouth, one of my softest t-shirts in hand. It would have been easy to go get her suitcase, but I wanted to see her wearing something of mine. I was still very much a possessive being, finding it incredibly appealing to see her in my clothes. She breathed the material deeply before sliding it over her head. Baby blue and coming down to hit her mid-thigh, it looked amazing over her. Of course, it made my attention fixate on her legs.

"Come sit by me," she asked, patting the open space beside her on the oversized leather chair, while twisting her hair in some sort of lose mess so that it hung down her back.

I slid in beside her and felt her move sideways a little so that we were flush with one another. The view was spectacular…Bella to my side, the rain spattered plates of glass in front of me, and lightening electrifying the forest outside. Feeling that the air was a little cool so close to the large panes of glass, I pulled the soft throw off the back and threw it across our legs leaving plenty to pull over us before placing the tray on her lap.

"Wine or water?" I asked her and watched in delight as she nibbled at her lip.

"I was thinking wine, but I don't want to be able to enjoy it if you can't."

"I forgot to take my meds, so I'll be fine. One glass only though…" she gasped and glared at me "…but I'm fine," I finished narrowing my eyes back at her and wrinkling my nose. "My love, it was purely a mistake on my part, but I'm fine and well overdue for my next dose. Dad is just being over-reactive. I feel okay, just a little sore, but considering how I came to be in that state…" I cleared my throat and grinned in a fully satisfied way. "Well, I'll just accept it. Remember, I'm a doctor as well. He's just going overboard, but he wouldn't be my dad if he didn't."

She snorted, I'm sure remembering some of the times he had harassed her unmercifully.

"So only one glass for me, but you can have as much as you want. It's a good vintage," I said, using the cork screw I'd grabbed to open it. Pouring a glass for her then me, I set it to the back of the low table and turned to find her holding out a delicately prepared cracker with cheese toward me. "Hmmm…perfect." Reaching over to grab the remote for the Bose, I turned it on and soft jazz poured through the room.

She wriggled back into me, and before picking up a strawberry, she murmured, "Now it's perfect." She sighed softly and held the berry up for me to take a bite.

It could've easily turned sexual, but for the moment, it was just relaxing. Biting into the plump berry, I grunted as the taste burst in my mouth.

"Good selection, Bella."

"Wine's better," she countered, taking a delicate sip and shuddering as the coolness slid down her throat.

Between bites of food and sips of the wine, we watched the water hit the glass and listened to the music. It was incredibly soothing.

"Edward, how did Alice meet Jasper?" she asked unexpectedly just before we finished what I'd prepped.

Handing her the last cracker with cheese, I placed the empty platter to the side table, pulled the low ottoman toward us so that we could stretch out, and wrapped my arm around her, holding my still half full glass of wine in my other hand. She pulled the blanket up tucking it back around our legs; I couldn't remember a time that I'd felt more content. Pulling her just a little closer so that I could feel her firmly against me, I thought how to best present Jasper's and Alice's story.

"Well, it is a fairly unique story. I was working the late-night weekend shift at the hospital, and Jasper's good friend was brought in. He and Jasper had gotten into a brawl with some other guys protecting a young lady. It is my understanding they won, but Jasper's friend was in pretty bad shape. A couple of days later, Ali came to the hospital to have lunch with me and was wandering around the hospital in an attempt to find me. After my check up with his friend, Jasper followed me out into the hallway to ask me a question, and it all went from there.

"Alice's face was stunned when Jasper called her 'M'am' and bowed to her slightly. I'd never seen her that flustered, so to say I was hopeful that she might have a degree of interest in Jasper, would be selling it short. I'd already taken his measure, and I liked him. He was interested, but not suffocating or over-reactive in the care of his friend. And the fact he'd stayed in Seattle to make sure his friend recovered said he was someone with integrity."

I thought through the ups and downs of Jasper courtship. It was hard to really put it to words, but I wanted to answer Bella's question as best as I could. As a streak of lightning lit up the outside, I thought about how struck Alice had looked the first time he attempted to kiss her, or at least how she'd looked when she told me about it.

"It took Alice months to calm down around him. The day he held her hand seemed like such a major victory, but I'll never forget how she looked coming down the aisle on dad's arm…she was like this supernatural creature." I looked over to see Bella gazing at me with bright eyes. "She glowed, Bella. Simply glowed. She'd kept the wedding small which really surprised us all. I thought it would be some affair that would set the society paper to wagging, but it was just us."

"What color were her bridesmaid's dresses?" she asked, and I thought it an odd question.

I answered anyway. "She didn't have any."

"What? Why?" she stuttered, jerking around to stare at me in shock.

"Rose is her only friend, Bella. As I said, it was a small family wedding." I stopped when she looked upset. "Love, what's wrong?"

"She should have had a big wedding, full of pomp and circumstance. It was what she deserved after going through what she did." She grew more upset. "It would have been a celebration of not allowing evil to steal everything away."

"But it _was_ beautiful, Bella…even if it wasn't over the top. And she was extremely happy. Extremely. Still is. Jasper is very good for her. It is like he counteracts all her negative memories and doesn't allow her to sink beneath the demons we all know still haunt her." I grinned remembering the first day she'd asked me to go with her to shooting range with her. "He empowered her again in a way that we couldn't, like teaching her to shoot and self defense. She is quite the little monster, Bella. And around the family, she is as vivacious as we ever remembered or expected her to be."

"Why then does she still close herself off from others?"

"We're her safety net, Bella. I don't want you to think that she doesn't have acquaintances outside the family; she just feels safer with us. I know that she wants to be close to you again. She's just been waiting…and fairly patiently considering it's her."

She quirked her lips at that, agreeing. "I've already told her that we're good, Edward."

"I know. But she wants more than just to be okay. She wants to start over with what you two were building." I turned fully toward her and watched her carefully. We were asking too much of her, I knew. However, it was better to put it out there.

She nodded her head softly. "I'm ready for that. In fact, I planned to make a date with her this weekend, but as much as I like Alice, I'm enjoying the current company better."

Smirking at her wink, I pulled her back up against me, enjoying the warmth of the moment. The night had grown darker and I would guess colder, but inside the house it was perfect.

"I've missed her, even having Leah as a friend and how close we are. Alice and I just clicked, you know. I guess it was because at the time we were both uncertain about the world and our places in it."

I could tell how much the thoughts about Alice's situation upset her. However, Alice would implode if she though Bella pitied her.

"Love, she doesn't want your sympathy. In fact, it would tremendously upset her to think that would be the only reason you'd approach her."

"NO! No, that's not it." She placed her hands to my face, cradling my cheeks. "I would never! It's just the last couple of weeks have been so…" she huffed and it was adorable "crazy, frantic, but also miraculous."

I could agree with her on that. I'd been undeservingly handed two miracles and an opportunity to create another…a hopeful forever.

Dropping her hands, she continued, "Alice and I need some time alone, Edward." She snuggled into me, and I couldn't help but lean over to kiss the top of her head in reaction. "Just like we needed time."

"Speaking of time…thank you for coming with me, Bella. Was this okay?" I was more than a little nervous. It could've blown up in my face. Her small grin told me I wasn't totally in the dog house.

"I understand your motive, and I'd like to say it wasn't necessary, but I'm honest enough to say that I enjoyed the confusion in Lauren's face. I'm petty enough to have found a degree of satisfaction in it. Does that make me bad?"

"No. If I knew a way, I'd make sure that everyone I humiliated you before could see how much I love you…loved you, and how much esteem I have for you."

Shaking her head slightly at me, she then rolled her eyes. "Edward, can I tell you the moment I started healing from that?"

Huh? As if I wouldn't die to know that process had even started. "Of course!" It would be an incredible boon to know.

"The day I went to see Robert. I could see the panic in your eyes."

"I was afraid you'd decide there were much better options out there for you," I interrupted rashly.

She smiled brightly. "Exactly! But you didn't suspect for a moment that I was going to have sex with him, even though you knew we'd been intimate in the past."

No, I'd known better. My fears had been about the choices she had. Looking up, I caught her watching me with a bemused look.

"You didn't even consider it, did you?" She didn't give me time to answer. "And I knew that. You shouldn't have suspected I'd be with Jake, or questioned my love for you back then. But then was then, and now is now. This time, you never doubted my love, just your worth."

Placing her hand in mine, she squeezed gently.

"I love you, Edward. Seeing you get shot in front of me brought a great many things into perspective, and honestly, probably broke down some barriers that normally would've taken more time to eliminate. But when you let me walk out of that hospital room without recriminations, I knew. I knew I could get through it, and that I could begin to forgive you and move forward."

A harsh chuckle escaped me. "Don't give me too much credit, Bella. I was in agony. It was like I couldn't breathe."

"I can accept that, but again, you allowed me to do what I needed to do. But back to the original topic." She arched her eyebrow at me loftily, and we both broke out in laughter. "Your efforts to squire me around Forks were and are appreciated. However, there is no need to track everyone down. Lauren will do that for us," she quipped, and I couldn't help but chuckle again. "Man…I could fall asleep right here," she said, switching topics like she always did when we were kids. Her mind was a fascinating thing.

"I could too," I admitted, the comfort of the leather, the warmth, and her soaking into me. "But let's take a quick shower and get in bed. I want to take you to the meadow tomorrow morning."

She put her arms up and stretched slowly. "Okay." She waggled her eyes at me. "Me, you, bed…yeah that speaks to getting rest."

I burst out in laughter at her sexual banter. "We are going to get some sleep, Bella. I promise," I stated as I moved to stand and collect the dirty dishes and wine, as much to convince myself as her. "I'll grab your suitcase on the way back up, just let me go take these down and put them in the dishwasher."

I made the trip downstairs quickly and heard the shower running when I entered our room with her things. Moving toward the sound, my breath caught in my chest when I saw her standing unabashedly naked in front of the glass and tile masterpiece I'd had built in the remodeled bathroom. Hearing me, she turned and smiled. She'd piled her freshly brushed hair in a loose bun, but several tendrils had escaped and curled around her face.

"This is amazing," she said gathering my attention and waving her hand at the multiple jets that would pound our sore bodies. "Drop the boxers and let's get cleaned up, Green Eyes."

Her use of my lost nickname fueled me, and as much as I wanted to show her just how the jets could be utilized, I wiped the image of her screaming and coming undone from my mind, smoothing the body wash over her with a cloth gently. It took me less than a minute to clean myself, and within minutes, we were standing beside each other at the double sink, brushing our teeth. The potency of such a simple unassuming moment couldn't be underestimated. Instead of going to find something from her luggage, she'd slipped my t-shirt on again. The gesture stirred me in a way that no lewd or exaggerated touch could.

Switching off the soft music still filling the room and the soft lights, I crawled into the bedcovers beside her, pulling her to me to snuggle. The smell of her hair filled the air around us, and it was heaven. I couldn't help but brush her hair gently with my fingers, placing kisses here and there to her head. The day had turned out perfectly, I mused. I hadn't expected her to end up in my bed, hence the placement of her suitcase in the guest bedroom, but I wouldn't deny the pleasure of her trust.

Chuckling, she asked just a few minutes later, "So…you were serious about that sleep thing?"

AARGH!

Flipping over onto her, my hands plunged under my t-shirt finding her breasts, my lips hers, and I moved against her softly, letting her feel just what I'd been fighting, wanting to simply hold her. She sighed into my mouth as my thumbs rubbed across her hard nipples. "Mmmm…"

"I love you," I whispered against her heart after having pulled my shirt from her.

"Show me…" she sighed and then groaned out harshly as I proceed to do so.

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><p><strong>I say this every week, but I would really love to know your thoughts. Don't forget to let me know about whether or not you'd be interested in an outtake for Fandom 4LLS.<strong>

**Also, if anyone knows how to make the image thing work right on FF, please contact me. I've tried to fix a banner to this story, but it keeps getting distorted. Yes, I'm technologically challenged. Sigh...**


	61. Meadow

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

**My THANKS to Cared, who helped me with the banner. You rock!**

Author's Note: Please read.

I find myself in a strange position. This chapter will most likely garner some reaction, but it was written before the events of this week. I considered throwing it away and starting over, but it is the next step in the progression of my story. After much contemplation, I decided to forge ahead, knowing that it might bring criticism. Something I'm not unfamiliar with.

As the author of this fan fiction, I've been called out for having Bella forgive Edward too quickly – and for making it too long. I've been told that I should have just stopped the story after Edward's shooting, since the story line was over – I've been told that people like that I'm rebuilding the relationship slowly after the event. Readers have said Bella is a saint – others believe she is taking too much for granted. Some readers think Bella hasn't been vocal enough – others think she should shut up and let it all go, so that they can start living again. I've been told my writing is juvenile and that I should stop torturing people – I've been told that people think I do a decent job. I've been offered constructive criticism (Kwim – thanks for the advice on the inner voices – I'll keep that in mind) – I've been bashed.

Every reader has their own opinion, and frankly, I enjoy hearing them, even the bad (as long as it is done respectfully).

SOMP was written as a story about forgiveness and healing. It is meant to be about learning from our mistakes and attempting to right them. It was not meant, as I said very early on, as a quick kiss and make up story. I personally think those are unrealistic.

I'll let you in on a secret. I was ready to walk away from the Fandom when I began writing this story. I was accused by someone of doing something totally not within my character. I was astounded at the acidic words, mannerisms, and behavior of some people that haunted these halls. It was an eye-opening and humbling experience. My pain was localized and relatively short-lived, because this is, for the most part, fun for me.

Saying all this to say…I can't imagine the pain of the two actors that brought our favorite characters to life.

Again, we all have our opinions, but please know that this chapter was in no means or manner meant as a reference to them, but I do hope that they can both find peace at some point in the future. I won't offer my opinions up, because truly, what do they matter? What matters are the opinions, desires, thoughts, and hopes of those involved – which, I am not. Whether or not I agree with the decisions made and behaviors, my thoughts and prayers go out to all involved.

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

Edward turned and grinned at me, the unexpected, morning sunshine glinting off his hair and making the red in it blaze around his head. He tugged on my hand, pulling me quickly along the soft ground. We were barely into the forest from his house, but his excitement was contagious, and it made me want to walk quicker.

He'd surprised me with breakfast in bed, and even with everything I'd done in an attempt to lure him back under the covers with me, he'd fussed enough that I'd gotten up. The flare in his eyes when I came out from under the sheets naked made me feel priceless and soothed my ruffled feathers. And it didn't hurt that I'd seen him take a deep breath as if for strength.

Some might call me flighty and spineless for falling into bed with the man in front of me, but they didn't know just how much I loved him. I'd never been able to get rid of it, even though I'd tried. I'd let go of him, but it would seem that I hadn't been able to tear away the feelings so deeply rooted in my heart. No, I hadn't fully forgiven him, but I was working on it. As I heard several birds chirp in the trees above us, reminding me of our visit here so many years ago, I smiled. I was definitely working on it. Yes, we'd need to talk about Tanya, and I wanted to understand just how he'd allowed himself to become addicted to drugs. But this weekend was about experiencing something I hadn't in a while…total rest and relaxation. And really, really good sex with the man I loved. I stumbled, not because I couldn't see, but because I'd used the wrong word to describe what had happened between us. It was more than sex. We'd made love, and it had been exquisite.

I'd passed out in exhaustion the night before, as he'd taken my teasing seriously and made me come apart again. I'd barely heard him chuckle "sleepy-head" against my hair before I was gone. But, I'd wakened several times during the night, just to touch him to ensure it'd been real. Secure in his arms, I'd never felt so cherished. It was as if the horror from the many mistakes were kept at bay for awhile, being held in abeyance so that we could have a chance to "find us."

Walking in the woods behind him gave me the same sensation, and I realized when I saw a whimsical bench sitting just off of a curve that the trail had been well maintained. It made me wonder just how often he'd come to Forks. So I asked. "How often have you been coming back here, Edward?"

He looked back and smiled softly. "Every couple of weeks."

_Playboy Cullen disappears with newest interest. _

I remember hearing similar statements over the years. Had he really been coming here?

Knowing me, he understood the reaction on my face immediately. "Bella, I've never brought anyone to the house. Ever! I'd like to say the stories of my weekend escapades could all be explained by visits here, but they weren't."

He waited to see what I was going to do or say.

"I'm petty enough that I don't want to be taken where the others were." Then I thought of his room. "The house was mine first, Edward. I can't stand to think that Tanya would take that away from me." Boy I wasn't making any sense.

His face twisted and he pulled me over to the bench, urging me to sit down with him. "Okay. I have to ask though…I have certain responsibilities at the hospital. I planned to invite you or Carlie to accompany me as my date, but I'll understand if you don't want to attend. I brought some of the women I saw to those events." He grimaced.

I hadn't thought of that, but it wasn't quite what I'd meant. "I didn't mean to those types of affairs. I just don't want to be in the same…" I didn't know exactly how to explain it.

"You don't want me to take you anywhere I have the others. Bella, I get it. And I wouldn't do that." A hesitantly hopeful look on his face told me that he wanted me to go further with the conversation.

"It's hard for me to imagine or conceive of you being blasé with a woman."

"Okay." He took my other hand, linking our fingers, which seemed to be what we did when we needed to feel connected.

Bringing our joined right hands to my cheek, I laid my face against the back of his hand. "I mean, you are so loving with me...but you've said you were more closed with them. I mean I know sex is…" The blush at my words fired across my cheeks and I couldn't finish the statement. He murmured something softly, but lowered our hands.

"Bella…" he looked down for a minute as if he was trying to put together his thoughts. "Please just listen for a few minutes, okay?" He waited until I nodded before he started. "Nothing I say is to be construed as making excuses." Again he waited for me to answer. "I came home from school that day not much better than an animal. My folks, Aunt Carmen, and Uncle Eleazar were off doing something. Tanya was the only one there. I'm certain now that she'd planned it, but to act as if she is the only evil person in the mix is ludicrous. I was enraged at what she'd shown me, what had been implied, and I was reckless in that emotion. Tanya brought out some coke, and when I finally caved, it was like it was powdered numbness. My heart pounded out of my chest and my body was electrified, but it was almost as if my brain went numb…like I was living in this perfectly emotionless world." He stopped to make sure that we were really looking at each other. "When she kissed me, I felt like it was perfect retribution. You'd been with Jacob no telling how many times, and I just let go, wanting to fuck you out of my mind."

Pain lurched through my chest just thinking about it, but he'd asked for me to listen, so I held my breath until it passed. I didn't fool him though, and his eyes flitted across my face measuring me.

"Several years of my life are nothing more than a blur, and during that time, I was little more than a whore."

I cringed at him using the word, but I knew he was attempting to be as blunt as possible. "How long were you with Tanya?"

"About a year. But when you say 'with Tanya,' I need you to know that she was a fuck and coke buddy, Bella. I knew she wanted more, but I didn't have anything to give to her. I left her behind when she started attempting to trap me. Then I went from bed to bed. I don't remember names, just a continuum of blurred faces. Dad and Mom attempted several exclusive rehabs, but I was determined to continue numbing the pain, so their efforts were futile."

"What changed?" I asked softly.

"I almost died. Emmett found me on the floor of one of my "buddy's" bathroom; I was having a heart attack. Dad seems to think I got some coke laced with something else, but either way, it was probably just a matter of time."

Heart attack! Aro had mentioned he'd almost died. Did that make him more susceptible? Is that why his heart had stopped during the surgeries? Was it weak? The questions must have flown over my face because he answered.

"I have a specialist check me every year, and I attempt to eat right, except chocolate…" he smirked "..and exercise the way I'm supposed to." I squeezed his hand at his joke. "Dad is insisting that after the shooting, I see him again, just for assurances. But if last night didn't throw me back into a massive coronary, I don't know what else could," he joked, a grin cracking his face and throwing more humor into the situation.

Even with our hands still bound together, I smacked his chest. "Stop!"

He waggled his eyebrows at me, and I knew from the look on his face, I was in trouble. "You weren't saying that last night…"

"Edward!" My tone was definitely scolding.

Biting his lips, I watched as like a curtain lowering to hide the previous scene, the seriousness took over again hiding the humor. "When I finally cleaned up and found my common sense again, I starting searching out those women who I could find that weren't looking for relationships. After my stupidity in high school and college, I at least had the sense to get tested, start using precautions, and asking the right questions. It's a miracle I didn't contract anything, between the needles and the unprotected sex. Mom said God was watching out for me, but I don't like to think that way. A guy I knew contracted HIV the first time he had sex."

I knew what he was talking about. I wouldn't be breaking her confidence, because I knew that Edward wouldn't treat her any differently, so I told him about Leslie. "My agent…Leslie…her husband gave her Herpes. He had a fling and brought it home to her unknowingly. It was the end of the marriage, but only the beginning of her having to live with it. She has gone through Hell because of it. It is hard for her to meet men, because she insists on being upfront about it. I've been so hopeful about a few of them, only to have them turn and run when she tells them. Ironically, when I found out she'd contracted it, I did research. I had no clue that so many people have it, some knowingly, and some not."

"One in six."

How clinical, but my eyes must have widened significantly. The rates had gotten worse since I'd read up on it. "I have often wondered if the men that didn't stick around realize that they are probably more at risk with those that aren't aware or taking the right precautions." I shrugged. "Either way, they are missing out on an amazing woman, who is dealing with something that wasn't her fault. I keep praying that she is going to meet the right person who'll see past it all."

He nodded his head as if he agreed, before saying, "Even in my earlier days of being clean, I just used condoms and didn't really think about all the ramifications, but it hit me when I started working at the hospital. Over the last years, I attempted to develop a relationship of sorts with the women I saw. But the truth is plain and simple; I used them Bella. There is no other way to explain it. I knew I was incapable of forming any lasting relationships, but it didn't stop me from pursuing them and taking what I needed. Or at least thought I needed."

He smoothed the back of his hand down my cheek again. "I was really no better than when I'd started, just cleaner and being more careful." Looking me directly in the eye, he murmured, "I cheated on you, Bella. With everyone one of them. I disrespected you and Carlie, even though I wasn't aware of her, and I did the same to my mom and sisters. Every time I took from one of them, it was as if I was forgetting the premises of honor and integrity."

I wanted to tell him that he was being melodramatic, but even though Tanya was the only one that I had the right to bitch about, hearing him describe his sins so bluntly put it in perspective. At some level, we'd have to deal with his past indiscretions.

"Edward, I won't tell you that the thoughts of you with other women, particularly the amount of women you chose to be with, doesn't bother me. I would have to be totally emotionless not to feel sick at my stomach. So we have to deal with that."

I looked over us when several birds called out loudly, flitting from branch to branch. "Do you want to continue on toward the meadow?" I asked.

He shook his head immediately. "I would prefer to keep this discussion here so that it doesn't ruin where we are going."

"Oh, you're right." I hadn't thought of that.

He remained steady as a rock beside me. I knew that he would do so no matter what I threw at him this time. Edward had learned his lessons, but had I? I could have contacted him at any time. I'd lived under the spotlight of the Playboy Cullen for over ten years, remembering the first time I realized that the Cullens had come back to Seattle after leaving Forks. I'd about strangled Jacob when I found out that he'd specifically not been reading me those sections of the newspaper. I'd stumbled across Carlisle's name when Carlie was still young. Hitting the button on my computer over and over to have the text read to me, I'd wanted to make sure I was hearing it correctly. I'd been doing some research about children's hospitals for one of my kid's book, and it had been a huge article on the money a foundation of theirs gave to build a new wing.

He'd cheated on me with Tanya, and somewhere deep down in my heart, I contemplated that perhaps I'd kept his daughter from him because of it. Wasn't there a kernel of truth that I'd justified it with the way they left and ignored me? I already had Charlie and Emmett's finances and my first book had hit it big, so I had enough money that no judge would take Carlie away from me. Yet, I'd allowed their silence to remain uncontested. It was a stunning realization, but one I needed to own up to.

"Edward, what you did with Tanya was despicable…" comically, he looked to be relieved and anxious all at the same time "…and I'm still angry in a part of my heart because of it. And for the way that you didn't at least come tell me what you suspected. Had you, maybe we could have worked it out. And I'm angry that you could believe the lies so easily." Released, the anger brewed up from within me, and I tried to pull my hand from his, but he tugged against my efforts. "How could you! You knew me! When you saw my expression, didn't you have even a moment's doubt? You know I can't lie." I didn't find him less masculine to see tears in his eyes. "She's dead, and I don't even get to confront her. There is a part of me that wanted to; even if I know I'm better than that. And you never let me say a word. It was all about you, and how you felt, and what you knew." To be honest, I'd been too stunned at what happened to do much, but perhaps I could've squeaked out something.

"What would you have said, Bella?" he asked softly, looking like he was preparing for a blow.

"At that moment, probably nothing. I was too dumfounded to even find my tongue." He cringed at my words.

"Later?" he asked hoarsely this time.

"Most likely - fuck you!" I knew the words hurt him, but at the same time he accepted my anger. "And I would probably have added in something about you being a bastard. A lying, conniving, cheating, whoring bastard, because you'd said you loved me and you so clearly didn't." I found tears pouring down my face, and he gently disengaged our hands to remove my glasses, his thumbs then brushing away the tracks.

"I wish I'd come to my senses, Bella. I've wished it a million times. One mistake, albeit huge, changed our lives forever. If only…"

"I don't know if I could have forgiven you then, Edward. It was too raw. After I realized you'd left me and went to her, I don't know if I'd have been capable of it. Certainly, you would have had Carlie in your life, but I hated you with a passion for a time. Hated and loved you all at the same time. The pain was so intense that it was just about indescribable; I couldn't think rationally. I needed time to right myself. It would have been chaos with your family and mine getting involved in it."

I stopped speaking and then said something that needed to be said. "Perhaps you don't deserve my love anymore."

His gasp was short because I put my hands to his cheek, brushing along the jaw line to reassure him.

"But maybe I don't deserve yours either."

"What?" he snarled out. "Bella!"

"No, listen for a minute to me now. You've been asking for me to really tell you what I thought, and I'm doing it. But everything isn't black and white. It takes two to tango and two to fix a situation. I should have called you again."

"How would you have known where I was at?" he said, and then realized it was obvious - through the papers.

"I found out your family was in Seattle when Carlie was still young. You wouldn't have been able to resist her, Edward. Or your parents. All I would've had to do was send one picture. Her eyes alone would have told you it was your child, as you know. There was a piece of me that kept from making that one more effort because I wanted to keep her from you. I was being selfish."

"With reason, Bella." The green of his eyes was very dark from the level of emotion he was feeling. His face was blurry, but even I could see that. I reached out to grab my glasses from him, because I wanted to see clearly.

"Edward, in my opinion, there is never a justifiable reason to be selfish." Leaning to place my cheek against his chest, I breathed deeply. "If I've found it within me to begin to forgive you, can you forgive me?"

"It is already done!" he said quickly, squeezing me tightly in his arms. "Thank you, for beginning to speak to me a little about the women. You are and have always been too calm and patient with me - the antithesis of my neurotic self." I felt a chuckle shake his chest. "You've also always been too forgiving. But I am immensely grateful for it."

"So, do we go forward?" I asked.

"It is my biggest hope, Bella."

"Edward, I meant the trail."

"Oh!" His laughter echoed out around us. "Yes, please." He pulled back, but not before placing a kiss to my forehead. Then he stood and brought me to my feet, holding my hand again.

"What made you decide to put a bench along the trail?" I asked as we continued along the winding path. When he remained quiet, I tugged at his hand, letting him know I wanted an answer.

"Well, you know I've never been really good at building things."

That brought out a peal of laughter. That was a huge understatement. I was more coordinated with a hammer and nails. He hated construction projects. Turning back to me, he glared at my enjoyment of my memories.

"I made the bench. It was one of my earlier attempts at working with wood."

I had thought the bench whimsical with its uneven boards and odd braces. I saw it now as Edward's attempt to actually produce something. But ironically, it was eye pleasing. It suited the other-worldly forest around it…as if you wouldn't be surprised to find some fairy perched upon it.

"I'm not sure if you meant for it to turn out the way it did, but I kind of like it."

He grinned then, unable to keep up a serious look. "I was dragging it out here to burn when I saw two deer in the woods. I sat down to watch the mother and her fawn, and it made me want to leave it there."

I was glad that it hadn't fallen victim to the flames. We were getting close to the area where our tree was, so I began to grow anxious as to what he wanted me to see. Turning the last corner, I gasped at the sight before me. The gnarled oak stood just as it had that day, but it was bigger and more prevalent because the other trees that had been in the area were gone. Behind it, I could see bright light, and knew it must be the meadow Edward had described. But what caught my attention was the quaint gazebo that was nestled just to the side of the oak. I walked toward it without thought, wanting to see. It was built of cedar, I could smell the distinct aroma, so I knew it would last even with the harshest of elements. It was then that I noticed several bird houses placed at various heights not too far into the woods from where I stood.

"Blue jay boxes," he informed me. "They like nesting in trees, just like the one we found, but if given a box, they'll use it."

I didn't even turn back to him, overwhelmed with the symbolism of what he'd created. Pulling the door open on the structure, I saw that it was simple, but well-constructed. Inside, I saw an oversized lounge chair and a waterproof container sitting against the back wall, which was the only solid one. Turning, I could only imagine from the limited distance I could see that our tree and this meadow were in full view from the shelter through the screens.

Edward stood leaning against the door, watching me. He was most likely assessing my reaction. Nodding to the container, he enlightened me. "I have cushions for the chair in there and some blankets. I like to come here and read."

"Why did they just stop at the tree, and how big is the meadow area?" I asked, trying to distract him from just how overwhelming it all was for me.

"Come, let me show you." Holding his hand out so that I moved toward him, he helped me down the small step, and we began walking toward the light. "It is fairly small actually. There is a logging road that runs out of the northern side, and there are several more areas just like this all throughout the property running toward the highway. I think the previous family didn't want the loggers to get much closer to the house, in hopes of preserving the secluded feel. They were after the cedar and oak trees, so they were pretty specific. Who knows about the one that is special to us? Like I said, I think it just had too much character. Thank God."

He stepped me out into the opening, and I could tell that it was amazing and would particularly be so in the spring when wildflowers would bloom across it. I couldn't see to the edges of it, but I had the sense of a wonderland nestled into the forest. A blanket and a lazy afternoon would go over well here.

"On those rare nights that there isn't rain or cloud cover, it is like you can see forever. The stars are amazing." He stopped for a moment. "I wonder how your vision would adapt with a telescope. I would think it would be the same as the binoculars. We'll buy one and bring it if you'd like."

"Sure," I agreed with the boyish enthusiasm I was hearing. "I was thinking that we should make a picnic and have lunch out here."

He pulled me to him, hugging me tightly. "Perfect."

"Who built the gazebo?" I asked, curious.

"Me."

I actually snorted. "Um…remember, I just walked in there, and it is perfectly stable."

He smirked, the side of his lip pulling up slightly in a mocking manner. Unfortunately, or fortunately, it came off sexy. "Oh yea of little faith." At my raised eyebrow, he caved. "I hired a guy to come out and teach me. We built it together, but he should probably get credit for building a good three fourths of it, considering all my mistakes he had to correct.

Whether or not mistakes were made, the thought of what he'd done here in our special place wrapped around me like an old security blanket. I knew why he'd built it where he did. Had he thought of me those times he laid here and read? Was it his way of coming back to me over and over again, even if he refused to do it in reality? The answers were clear.

I was a little overwhelmed by the moment and the feelings I experienced seeing the dim outline of the oak ahead of me. So many things he'd done over the years had been controlled by his memories of us. So much time…wasted. We'd allowed everyone else to manipulate us and listened to voices that really didn't have a say in "us."

Edward and I had been torn apart by misunderstanding and manipulations, juvenile behavior and cunning, fate and life. But there had been some really good things that had come from us. Carlie, of course, being primary. But whimsically I also wondered at how many generations of vicious Blue Jays were creating havoc in the woods around us, because we'd saved a nest full. We'd been each other's other half then, and we couldn't get away from the pull even with the mistakes we'd made.

A raindrop hit me, letting me know we were about to get a rain shower, and we both dashed for the shelter as it began to pour down around us. It would be amazingly peaceful to lay on the lounge and listen to the raindrops, and it would seem that he had the same idea, going over to the box to begin pulling thick cushions and some blankets from inside.

After the craziness of the last weeks, the heated lovemaking of the previous night, the confessions made on a whimsical attempt at construction, I felt it perfectly appropriate that we cuddled in silence, lying on thick cushions, swaddled by warm covers, away from the world and all the voices in it. A silence that was only broken by the cadence of the rain hitting the roof and the wind whipping around us.

Sometimes enough words had been said, and the crazy thing called life demanded that you just sit, enjoy, and let it fashion your existence.

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><p><strong>Would love to hear your opinion. I say it each week, but the repetition doesn't negate the sincerity of it. I write for enjoyment, but my pleasure comes from hearing from those that take the few moments to read the story. ;)<strong>


	62. Assessment

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who usually pre-read and beta this story for me. Due to reallife obligations, I just finished this chapter today, so it is coming to you totally unbetaed. Please forgive any mistakes.**

**A/N: Just FYI, last week, I posted a lengthy statement about my concerns about the subject line being touchy for some. A reader, politely and constructively, pointed out that my statement didn't include my thoughts about the others involved. Please know that I feel for all in the situation and hope that they will ALL find peace. You know who you are, and I appreciate that you called me on it, even if ignoring them was never my intent! **

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><p>Edward POV<p>

James pulled onto the highway, driving us toward the Quileute reservation. I could've driven, having come totally off the pain medication, but he'd insisted.

"It's my job, Mr. Cullen," he'd said sincerely while he helped Bella into the car.

I didn't miss the meds; the Tylenol was working just fine. And although I knew at any moment I could break out in the shakes, I figured that was going to happen sooner or later – and I chose sooner. Just because I'd promised, I'd called my dad while Bella was in the shower and shared my desire to continue without, after explaining how I'd inadvertently missed some dosages. He'd understood, even if he was more hesitant and warned me to monitor my vitals. I was ready to get back to work; the inactivity was driving me crazy. I was also ready to be free of one of my nemeses so that I could fully enjoy the woman beside me.

Bella and I had waited out the rain shower in the gazebo and then walked quickly home. Lunch had been the hamburgers instead of the steaks, because we'd spent a large amount of time just enjoying the rain and needed to get ready to go to the reservation to help Carlie and Seth. I'd avoided showering with her, unwilling to show up to Billy's house late, which was certainly what would have happened. But I allowed myself the privilege of enjoying her touch as Bella leaned against me, humming slightly along with the radio.

A year prior, when I'd finally determined to start therapy and then found Elizabeth, I'd hoped to find a degree of peace with myself for what I'd done – the drug abuse, the sexual misbehavior, and my betrayal of Bella. I'd felt as confident as anyone could be that I wouldn't fall victim to the drugs again, and I'd quit the women, but I knew that just stopping them didn't mean that the monster inside me didn't need exorcizing. Elizabeth had slowly helped me come to understand why I'd fallen prey to the "fixes," but I wanted to go further. I needed to understand why I would be susceptible to them in the first place. I felt it divine providence that after more than a decade of allowing life to control me, that I was only being handed the opportunity to regain what I'd lost after I decided to face my demons.

I wasn't naïve enough to believe that if Carlie would've chosen to reappear in my life barely a year earlier that I would have been so blessed. Although drug free, I'd still been actively engaging in the "dating." I wouldn't have expected Bella to accept my apologies and take anything I'd said seriously, if I'd been involved with someone. Thinking back to the utter failure of my last attempt and the realizations I'd had about my behaviors just not working, I shuddered.

And Bella…well, the fact she was here with me giving us an opportunity…it was far beyond any expectation, hope, or dream I'd ever had. Now that I knew she was going to be comfortable bringing up the topic of what I'd done with the other women, I was okay with just allowing her to speak as she needed to about them. I'd said my peace, which was all I'd wanted to do. The weekend was going well, or at least I was hoping she felt it was going well. I just had to get through the evening.

I was reasonably certain that the moment I stepped foot on the reservation would be equitable to hell. Billy Black had every reason to hate me, and his eyes, when we'd dropped off Carlie, had given me the idea that he had no desire to find forgiveness. He'd been distracted by Bella and his joy over her sight, but he'd managed to glare at me occasionally. The way he'd handled her and touched her face with such joy was so paternal that it hurt. It didn't surprise me that he'd filled in for Charlie. For some reason, I wondered in the moment what he thought about Aro, for certainly the man had assumed a protective role as well.

I heard Bella's soft chuckle. "You're as rigid as stone. Relax."

Looking to her, I smiled, and my effort caused her to start laughing.

"That is convincing." She rolled her eyes at me.

This time, I really did smile. It was going to be fine, and I raised our linked hands to kiss her wrist.

"So…tell me about this thing we're going to. Carlie called it a Potlatch?"

Turning slightly toward me, she chewed at her bottom lip enticingly. Desire flared through me at the sight, but this was definitely not the time to focus on that.

"Hm…I guess the best way that I can explain it is as a celebration of sorts. It is a long standing tradition for the tribes near the Sound. In the past, they'd come together for a feast, but at the same time, they gifted things that would help for survival through the winter. Billy explained that it almost became a competition. The tribe that gave the most valuable gifts was seen as the most powerful or desirable. It seems silly, but Billy told me it was very important because power meant survival back them. The more desirable, the more wives or husbands from other tribes brought with them upon incorporation into the tribe. The more provisions the tribe had, the likelier they would survive through the winter, that the children would flourish, and that culture would survive."

"Okay." Kind of like the survival of the fittest in celebratory form. But I would guess that the event had many more functions. Bella's next words confirmed my thoughts.

"Billy said that it was also critical because it served as a place for kids to scope out potential wives and husbands, for extended families to visit, and the sharing of knowledge, traditions, and stories. The Quileute are a small tribe, and have always been so, but their land, being so close to the shore, is rich. They and the Macaw, their cousin tribe, attended the celebrations together, and to some degree were seen as one. The tribes don't come together every year like they did in the past, but every five years there is a huge celebration. I went with them the last time, and it was amazing!"

"So it'll just be Jacob and Leah's tribe today?" I asked, realizing just how much of a big deal this was. It made me question whether I should be attending or not.

"Yes. I'm surprised Billy didn't give me a hard time about it, because I hadn't planned to attend. To be honest, I was surprised when Carlie opted out to go off with us this weekend. She never misses…so I should have known we were headed here. You talked to her, didn't you?" she accused slightly.

"Well…"

"Edward!" she growled.

"I called Jacob, actually…to invite Seth, and he informed me of what was happening. So I wanted Carlie to know what my plans were, so that she didn't feel like she was having to make a decision between the two."

"Little sneak. She was in on it all along."

"Well, sort of. I didn't tell her about the house, but I did tell Jacob. They are going to come here tomorrow, and we are all riding back to Seattle together."

"No helicopter?" she asked and then grinned with entirely too much relief when I shook my head "no." "So where does she think we're staying?" Bella continued.

I grinned. "She never asked. I guess there are certain things that kids just don't want to know about their parents, Bella."

She blushed beautifully, but I didn't need to focus on it. The car didn't have a privacy screen, and I would have to face James at corporate. "So the Quileute do this every year?"

"Yes. Every fall. It is a way for them to keep their culture and traditions now instead of a way to guarantee survival. But the members still trade gifts between them in order to keep the spirit alive."

The thought made me panic. "Bella! You should've told me yesterday. We could've gotten something!"

She chuckled again, reaching up to pat my face. "Calm down. We're seen as part of the Black family, and Billy and Jacob already have that taken care of, trust me."

"But…" I started to argue.

"No, buts. Billy is going to angrier with me that I wasn't coming, than the fact we didn't bring gifts."

I had to admit to curiosity as to why she hadn't planned on the event. If there was something that bothered her about it, she and I could've stayed at the house. "Is there a problem?" I asked.

Her features quirked for a moment before she took a deep breath and answered. "No. It's just that I feel like an oddity at times, even though I've been with them so long." At my raised brow, she elaborated. "Since even the out of state members travel back for the event, I like for Carlie to have time with the family without me always having to be around, particularly at these smaller gatherings. I'm harder to explain than her. They've already accepted her as Seth's future wife, but I've always just been the third wheel, so to speak."

"I can't imagine Leah or Jacob feeling like you are the third wheel!" I said quickly in response.

"Edward…Leah is an amazing person. She is the most beautiful person inside and out. Not many women would put up with me and Jake like she does. I know how odd it is, that we are so close. I guess Leah just knows because we've been together so long, but I want her to have her own space with Jake…does that make sense?"

It did, completely. A blaze of anger flared through me that she would ever be placed in that position, but I was entirely aware that I was the one that'd done it. "Yeah, I understand." Remembering how Leah had handled Jacob the day Carlie found me, I grinned. "They seem to have a…um…passionate relationship."

She snorted and then put her hand to her mouth to cover it up. "That is putting it lightly. She is like his personal goddess. It is really awe-inspiring. Seth's the same way about Carlie…" she left off, watching for my reaction.

I was still struggling with that, but I knew I was being hypocritical. Bella and I had only been two years older when we found each other. But she was right. Jacob's son loved our daughter, deeply. He was an amazing young man, and there was no disputing that fact. It was all a parent could ask for; it was just odd that it had happened so young. "I like him, Bella, very much."

She grinned broadly and snuggled into me as much as the seatbelt allowed. "Good, because he's like my son as well, Edward. I'm proud of him, too."

The car slowed as we turned onto a smaller road, which I assumed led to the reservation. It wasn't long before I saw cars of various models, makes, and ages lining the road. It would seem that many had had to park a distance away. James must have recognized the situation at just the same time.

"Ms. Swan, will I be dropping you and Mr. Cullen off at the Black residence?"

"Yes, please. You should be able to park there as well. You are welcome to stay and eat?" she said without reservation.

Somehow the words made me sad, because it relayed the openness of the Quileute to entertaining visitors, but yet she'd still felt the need over the years to segregate herself from the group so that, in her opinion, Jake and Leah could be seen and enjoy the experience without her.

"I truly appreciate the offer, Ms. Swan, but I'll return to Forks. You may call me later to let me know what time to pick you up."

"Bella, just Bella," she said.

His grin was quick and decisive. "Bella." He conceded then surprised me by adding, "I caught a glimpse of this very bewitching red-head in town. She didn't look like she belonged here."

Bella's head cocked at an adorable angle. "Why do I take that statement to mean that she raised more than just your suspicions?"

James flashed her a predatory smile through the rearview mirror, and Bella laughed out loud. She'd fashioned a friendship of sorts with him over our diner experience. "I intend to track her down if at all possible and find out her name."

"Good hunting," she whispered to him as he gave her his hand just a minute later to step out of the car. His grin was very predatory then.

Bella turned and grabbed my hand, walking us toward the house behind us and the din of voices as he drove off.

~SOMP~

"So, you've been able to survive so far, although I thought your death was imminent when you walked in the door. It looked like they wanted to jump on you like a pack of wolves and tear you to itty bitty pieces."

I turned to the charming woman beside me. "Emily, right?"

She smiled softly as she nodded. I'd met her, her husband, Sam, and their four children within just a few minutes of entering the Black household. Bella had informed me that Sam's mother had passed away several years earlier, so he, his wife, and family were as much as adopted into Billy's fold. I was usually good with names, but I couldn't remember a time when I'd met so many people at the same time. There had to be over five hundred people wandering in and around the recreation center and the land around it.

"I'm not sure I remember anyone's names anymore, so I wanted to make sure before I embarrassed myself." Looking over to where several of the guys had gathered, I saw her husband laughing at something a younger man said. "Yeah, I had the same sense," I said in response to her observation about the group and their intentions.

She chuckled, and the sound brought Bella's head popping up from where she sat next to an elderly couple. She sent me a brilliant smile, and I couldn't help but return it.

"You're okay in my book, if you can make her look like that."

It took me a minute to drag my eyes from Bella and return my attention back to Emily. "Thank you," I replied sincerely.

"So…how in the world did you get roped into doing the ribs?" she asked, nodding to the large grill I was managing. "Usually Jake has to man up."

As if answering for me, Carlie all but skipped out of the door to bring me an empty platter. Placing it down beside the grill, she giggled and then leaned up on her toes to kiss my cheeks before spinning around to flit back into the building behind us. My answer to Leah was to shrug my shoulders in admittance of how taken I was with my daughter. I did expound however. "I didn't know to bring anything, so it seemed a good compromise."

"Don't compromise too much; they'll eat you alive if they sense any weakness. But it was a good move for now, as almost everyone hates to get saddled with the grill responsibilities." She looked over to see Sam watching us intently. "They're just extremely protective of Bella and Carlie, which I would imagine you'd think was a good thing."

I nodded, agreeing, but then took a minute to flip the last ribs. "I'm grateful to everyone here, that they've been her family when she lost hers."

"Well, rumor is that Billy still wants to talk with you, so remember that he is her family, because it will most likely be nasty."

"Oh, I can only imagine," I admitted, knowing that I was still living with a degree of anxiety over it all.

"Keep your head up," she offered up as advice, then snagged a few of the slabs I lined up before disappearing.

I wasn't alone long. Bella had stayed by my side from the moment we entered Billy's house, leaving me only long enough to meet new individuals as they arrived. I watched her maneuver around several groups of talking individuals with a great degree of infatuation.

"Hey, handsome. Have I ever told you that you look good in an apron?" she purred in a purely starlet manner.

I looked down at the plain white cover Jake had thrown me. "You'd look better in it…" I grinned in response to her teasing and the visual I was developing, "…with nothing else on."

Her mouth dropped slightly at my banter, but then her eyes glinted. "I can manage that," she retorted, the image I'd been entertaining expounding and driving me instantaneously crazy.

She cocked her eyebrow at me when I jumped at the sizzle behind me. Flipping the last of the food onto the platter Carlie had left, I turned off the gas and gathered up the cooking utensils.

"Come on, let's go inside," Bella said, pulling me. "I'm hungry."

Carlie and Seth stood behind a long line of tables laden with every kind of food imaginable. I could have sworn at one point that I'd heard several of them groaning as dishes were set upon them. Moving in front of Bella, I led her across the room toward Carlie and Seth, unsure if she was able to see them or not.

"Mama, I'm starving," Carlie all but repeated Bella's words when we drew close.

Seth took the platter I handed over, carefully putting it down between several large casseroles. But he won a space in my heart…or maybe stomach…when he filched several racks throwing them onto an oversized plate. "C'mon Edward, let's hide these while we fill our plates up with the other stuff." He glanced up at the doorway, and I saw Sam and several of the others coming in. "If we don't there won't be much left."

"Save me some too," Jacob called out to our side, and then grinned as his son did exactly that, adding in several more. "Run," he told Seth, just as the group of men, including Sam, made it to the table.

Within minutes, we'd found a table and had a feast spread out between us with the food we'd collectively pilfered. Bella and Carlie sat to each side of me, whereas young Samantha sat between her parents, just across from us. I couldn't help but enjoy watching her. It was obvious she was a daddy's girl, leaning over to ask Jacob to cut up her ribs or the corn off her cob. As I watched him interact with her, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he'd treated Carlie the same. And that realization only made me want more to spend time with the man who'd raised my child. Ironically, I realized that Jacob and I could've been good friends; I hoped we still could.

Turning my attention to Carlie, I had to work hard to suppress my laughter. Her food was meticulously arranged on her plate, and I saw her slap Seth's fingers as he attempted to steal her brownie. He chuckled softly, while she sent him a death stare. He, in turn, nudged her with his leg playfully. The nonverbal communication and affection between them was so clear and pure that it was a rare privilege to watch. I wondered what the future held for them and hoped that they could make it through the trials they would most certainly face. Fate was a fickle mistress, and she was never kind enough for anyone to sail through without some bruises.

My observations of Jacob and Leah's interactions only reemphasized my initial assessments of them. Even after all the years together, they were still enamored of one another. I was betting that their fights, as Bella had indicated, were legendary, but the make-up sessions were even more powerful.

The Black family mirrored the hopefulness I saw in my mom and dad and siblings.

"You're being quiet. A penny for your thoughts," Bella said to my side, and I turned to find her watching me.

I leaned in to whisper, "Just admiring Jacob's family."

"Why?" she asked just as softly.

"Because they seem so…right."

My words brought the most curious look to her face, and before I knew it, she kissed me. My stunned reaction quickly turned into delight as I took full advantage, moving my fingers into her hair to secure us together. Bella jerked away sometime later with a squeak.

"Jake!"

He grinned and shrugged. It was then I saw her rubbing her shin. He'd kicked her, I realized. In explanation, he nodded toward Carlie, who looked on, her mouth hanging open. Bella's face blazed with a blush, and I was fairly certain my cheeks were pink as well. Thank goodness Billy stopped any further conversation by wheeling up to the table.

Up unto this point, he'd remained busy with the social requirements of his position as an elder. When we'd entered the house earlier in the day, he'd said a quick hello, but left not much later. His only true acknowledgement of me had been his grin at my offer to man the grill.

"Billy, can I fix you a plate?" Bella offered.

"No, thank you. I actually came over to see if I could get Dr. Cullen to help me with something."

I stood immediately. It was most likely a ploy to get me alone, but either way, I was more than willing to follow. We had much to discuss. "Certainly, I'd be happy to help with anything."

"Dad?" Jacob asked quickly. His tone was half questioning, half warning.

"I'm not going to throw him off the cliffs, Jacob. Calm down." At least Billy had a sense of humor.

Squeezing Bella's hand quickly, I let go and followed Billy out of the building and across the hard packed earth toward a small clustering of houses. I couldn't help but question whether or not he was leading me to a vengeful group of the men, but I had to trust.

"Edward…I, we, the council have a problem. One of our elders' granddaughters arrived just a few minutes ago." He stopped and turned in his wheelchair to face me. "Her husband has roughed her and the child up. We've called the local police, who should be arriving any moment, but she may have a broken arm. The little boy…well, I would just like for you to look at them."

Ah… The reservation was just a microcosm of society and therefore not immune to such problems. "Of course. But if the bone is broken, she'll need to go to the hospital. I don't even have a way to check her heartbeat."

"I understand, but if you would just check her for me?" he asked leaving off at the end.

"Certainly."

As he pushed forward, he continued speaking. "We'll work with the Chief of Police to decide whether or not to allow tribal law to be superseded in the prosecution of the case."

I knew that it was a common struggle for Native Americans - deciding when and where to allow the outside forces to handle inside problems. I was clueless about tribal laws and customs, so I clearly didn't have an idea of what sort of punishment could be dispensed.

Billy wheeled up a ramp that had been constructed to a small house. Upon opening the door, I saw that several of the older Quileute and tribal elders were present. The sobbing from a back room became clear, informing me of where I was needed. But first, I needed permission.

"This is Edward Cullen. Many of you have already met him and are aware he is my granddaughter's father. He's the one I told you about."

Although the eyes watching me didn't warm, they all nodded in a silent form of agreement before Billy waved me down the hallway. A tall, regal looking man stepped into it before me, and I held my hand out in greeting.

"Edward."

"Michael," he said before placing his hand in mine. "My granddaughter," he jerked his head toward the room in indication as to why he was acting as chaperone.

I nodded in understanding. "This is all a little unusual; would you mind explaining to her why I am here before I just walk in? It might help with the shock of it."

"Yes." With that single word, he slid into the door in front of us. Within just a minute, he opened it for me.

Sitting on the bed with tears streaming down her face was a young woman. She was most likely incredibly attractive like most of the Quileute were, but her face was a swollen mess, the one eye she could open bloodshot. Holding her left arm, she winced in severe pain, the moans escaping her against what I would assume was her best effort to control them.

Billy had followed me down the narrow hallway, so I turned and said softly, "If anyone could find me a small penlight, it would be extremely helpful. Ice, sandwich bags, water, and some cloths as well. We need to get something on the swelling quickly. Billy…" I stopped and he looked directly at me. "She's going to need to go to the hospital. I'm just letting you know now. If the rest of her body is as bad as her face, there could be internal injuries."

I wasn't one to keep information from patients, so my words hadn't been meant to be between us. I heard the young woman sob slightly and then scream out at the pain. Hopefully, her reaction was from the pain in her arm and not broken or fractured ribs. Mine still ached from where Jacob had pummeled me the day I saw Bella for the first time again. It didn't help that the emergency room had put the chest tube through the same location.

"Sarah, this is Dr. Cullen. Billy asked for him to look at you," her grandfather said softly, as if he was attempting to soothe a frightened child. Actually, I thought as I moved into the room, he was.

She couldn't be much older than nineteen, the baby being held by the grandmother, no more than six months.

"David, first!" she insisted, speaking of the infant, I assumed.

I looked to Michael for guidance. Personally, I knew that the mother wouldn't be consoled until her child was taken care of, having seen too many similar situations in the hospital before. The baby was resting quietly with the grandmother, so I took that as a good sign…assuming he wasn't abused like her…otherwise we might have a bigger crisis on our hands.

Moving slowly toward the bed, I stood beside Sarah and motioned for the older woman to place the baby in front of me, knowing Sarah would want to see me examine him. Gently, I moved the blanket from around him and unsnapped the "onesie" he was wearing. Fingerprints marred his upper arm, and although he whimpered and began to cry as I felt along the bone, I felt relief determining that it was from the tenderness. I couldn't find any signs of broken bones and the little one clenched his fingers in reaction to my prodding. It was still imperative to have him examined with an x-ray to make sure there were no fractures, but I felt fairly confident it was just the bruising that made him uncomfortable.

Running my fingers through the downy cap of sleek black hair, I searched for any lumps, and then gently rolled him over onto his stomach to look down his back.

"I didn't let him touch my baby, I swear," Sarah said passionately from beside me.

Glancing over, I caught her eyes and let her see my honesty. "He is obviously well cared for. You've done a fine job." It was hard to tell, because her lips were too swollen to manage a smile, but I thought I saw some relief in her face. "I need to remove his diaper, just to examine him." She nodded and then cried out again at the movement.

I made the exam as quick an unobtrusive as possible. The child's testes and anal area remained unmarred, relieving at least some fear I had about other evils. I was betting the father had grabbed the baby's arm when he became tired of David crying and Sarah had inserted herself into the aggression instead.

Securing the still clean diaper back around the child efficiently, I re-swaddled him and moved to hand him to his grandmother. Her surprise was strong. "I have four nieces and nephews," I said in explanation and then didn't know why I had. I'd changed a thousand diapers between Alice and Emmett's children and been thrown up on more times than I wanted to remember. But those facts didn't mean anything to the individuals in the room.

"Sarah, I'd like to examine your arm first, since it seems to be the most painful. Is that okay?" I asked softly.

The woman's last remembrances of a man's hands on her were brutal. It was important to give her the control here. I barely saw the slight nod.

Taking her hand I examined her fingers first and as gently as possible followed the bones up her arm. She tensed and cried out, but I was pleased with what I found, particularly when I reached her shoulder. It was dislocated. In my best assessment, I didn't think there were any broken bones, but I needed to get the shoulder reset immediately. It would definitely relieve a great amount of her pain.

"Sarah, your shoulder...did he throw you against something?"

"Yes," she answered softly, and I heard her father shift.

Remembering how my father had reacted when he arrived at the hospital with Alice, I knew that Michael most likely wanted to thrash the husband. At that time, I'd never seen my father look anything but calm and serene before. That night, he would have most likely committed murder given the chance.

But back to Sarah, and the effects of her abuse…

"Your shoulder is dislocated. I can fix that here, and it will mean almost immediate relief, but it is going to be very painful." The one dark eye that hadn't swollen shut remained steady on me. "I suggest that your mother take the baby in the other room. You might startle and upset him." She was going to scream. Even Emmett had wailed like a baby when my dad and I had had to perform the same process to realign a similar injury.

"Okay," she said, and the older woman moved quickly out, scooting around Billy as the leader remained in the doorway watching.

"I'll need your father to help hold you, but I'll also need to touch you. Is that okay?"

"Yeah…" she said not too assuredly.

Motioning her father over, I explained what we'd need to do, showing him how to hold her, and letting her see just how I would need to touch and pull to rectify the damage.

Squatting before her, I made sure she met my eyes again before I spoke. "After I set your shoulder, I need to examine you. Would you feel more comfortable with your mother here?"

"Yes, please."

"Okay." Rising, I moved to hold her shoulder just as I'd shown her. Then I met her father's eyes, given him a subtle nod.

Her scream cut off half stream as she passed out. Her father and I laid her gently across the bed.

"Can you go ahead and examine her while she is out?" her father asked.

"I could, but I would prefer not to. It is a psychological thing. She might feel as if she has been taken advantage of again. It would be better to wait until she is fully aware so that she can guide the exam."

I'd learned many things from what had happened to Alice. My bedside manner and patience with those injured was one of the few good things that had come out of the mess. Michael grunted, but nodded in understanding. At least one set of dark brown eyes warmed slightly toward me. And as I turned, I saw that even Billy seemed less aloof.

"She'll be awake in just a minute anyway," I noted. I'd use the light I saw in Billy's hand to check her pupil response and give her a cursory exam with her mother present when that happened.

~SOMP~

The ambulance left with Sarah and the baby, her mother, grandmother, and Chief of Police in tow. I'd done what I could do, and I believed that she would only have to recover from the beating her husband had delivered. But even as secure as I felt in my assessment, I'd insisted she get x-rays. I'd won her trust during the exam, so she'd agreed to go with my recommendation.

"Do you suspect there are more injuries?" Billy asked quickly. He had rolled to my side as the ambulance began to move away.

"Older ones. I felt a few bumps on her ribs that I suspect are healed fractures." I looked down to find him watching me. "It wasn't the first time, Billy."

"As I suspected. We'll handle it," he said forcefully.

I assumed they would.

"Walk with me," he said, not asking.

So here it comes, I thought. Seeing Carlie standing in the doorway of the recreation center, I waved briefly before I turned to follow Jacob's father toward a small shelter I saw at the edge of the woods. Again, it possessed a small ramp, and it made me smile to see how the tribe had adapted to having a leader who needed such accommodations. It was late, but the party continued full force just yards from us. However, we might as well have been a million miles away for the privacy the small covered area gave us.

"Charlie hated you in the end," he said quickly. Obviously he was a man of few words and wanted to get right to the heart of the matter.

I moved to sit on one of the built in benches. He maneuvered to a respectable distance from me, but close enough that he could watch me through the diffuse illumination provided by a light fixed on a pole not far away.

"But, I must admit to some responsibility in the mess that occurred," he followed up, causing me to glance at him quizzically. "He was coming after you as soon as Bella told him about the baby. I convinced him differently."

Huh? My confusion must have shown on my face.

"Bella spoke to him, pleading with him to leave you alone. She believed you'd made your choice about being involved with her and the baby. Charlie placated her, needing to think it through as an adult. He came to me. He was, and still is, my best friend, and we shared everything." The way he worded things made it sound as if he most likely still spoke with Charlie in his heart. He continued unaware of my thoughts. "When my son contacted me and told me what he'd learned over the past few weeks, I couldn't help but look back at my contribution to the mess."

He glanced off into the woods as if he heard something. To be honest, the hair on the back of my neck had been standing up from the sensation of being watched. The Quileute reservation was a mysterious place, but as a grown adult I refused to believe in things that went bump in the night. My guess was that Sam and several other of the men I'd seen with him most likely prowled just out of sight, watching me.

"What are your plans regarding Bella and Carlie?"

Well, there was nothing like being called out on the carpet. But if there was anyone, other than Bella, who needed an explanation, perhaps this man was it. He was filling in for Charlie.

"For now, my plans are solely to continue repairing our relationship. But when the time is right, and she has decided that we are ready…I want it all. I want to make her my wife and live the rest of my days making her happy. I want to truly be Carlie's father."

"Will you force Carlie to take your name?"

"NO! I would never. Of course, I would love to have her attached to me in that way, but that is Carlie's decision, not mine." I couldn't hide the desire to have her recognize me in that way, but I was well aware it might not happen so late in her teenage years.

"You aren't going to say you'll never hurt them again, or swear that you're in it for the long haul this time?" he questioned quickly.

He was decisive, if nothing else. "I won't promise what I can't. I am in it for forever, good or bad. But to promise that I'd never hurt them again…that is impossible. Even my father, who I admire above all individuals, screws up. My mother hands him his ass for it, but it is still there."

I saw a flash of white teeth as he smiled at my honesty. I grinned back before continuing. "We still have a lot of hurt to work through Billy, assuming she'll continue to allow me."

"My son seems to accept the sincerity of your desires, so I will follow his wisdom in this. I will be watching though. Bella is like a daughter to me. I won't tell you that Charlie and I didn't once hope that they would find love together, but it just wasn't meant to be. Leah is the love of his life and a wonderful daughter-in-law. I couldn't ask for more. So now, I want that for my daughter."

Nodding, I accepted the warning. He wasn't as convinced as Jacob, so I would be under scrutiny. That was acceptable.

"Billy, I hope that I won't disappoint you, but if I do, it won't be for the lack of love. It will be because I'm a man and stupid at times." My honesty seemed to finally break through the stoic façade.

"Well, I guess I would have to consider that, since it is an ailment I share with you."

We remained quiet for a long time, listening to the night sounds around us.

"You seem to enjoy the woods," he said, breaking the silence a while later.

"Yes, I do. I find it extremely peaceful."

"We've watched over your oasis to keep the local kids away," he announced stunning me.

How? What? The thought was incredibly disturbing.

It was a warning as well as an acknowledgement. How long had they watched me? Did I really want to know?

"Thank you," I croaked, knowing that what he wasn't saying was more warning than anything he had.

~SOMP~

"So…um…Billy seemed to warm up to you a little before the end of the evening," Bella noted softly.

It was just before midnight and James was moving at a good speed toward the house. We were just a minute from the turn off to the house. He'd returned to pick us up, and his mysterious and satisfied smile to Bella led me to believe he'd tracked down the redhead.

"Yeah, we had the required 'I'm going to watch you' conversation where he warned me not to hurt you, but I think that Jacob's opinion of our situation held a lot of sway with him."

"Well, I could say that I hoped to save you from that, but I guess what had to be done, had to be done," she admitted, squeezing my hand gently.

After returning from Billy and my talk, I'd spent the rest of the evening beside her, enjoying the ceremony between the members as they traded gifts. It would seem that Billy and Jacob were quite the artists. The wooden pieces they'd created over the year were in high demand. I'd realized then just what Jacob's gifts to Carlie had been over the years…the way he'd celebrated each of her recitals. The necklace with the delicately carved charm was pure Jacob mastery. I'd noticed it of course, but never suspected that the large man that had filled in for me could create such delicate masterpieces.

But back to what Bella had mentioned. "Bella, it was fine. I knew Billy wanted to speak with me, and truly, I was prepared for much worse."

She turned and leaned in against me. "Billy can be fierce, but he is fair."

"I'm seeing that."

While we'd been speaking, James had begun to maneuver the curvy road that led to the house. I felt a degree of relief when I saw the white of it looming in the woods. Today had been a busy and trying one. Thanking James, I reassured him that we wouldn't need his services for the return to Forks and wished him a few good days off. His thankful expression was entertaining. I bet the red-head was about to be pursued by the blonde man.

Bella laid her light coat across the entrance table, pulling the scarf from around her neck as well. "I had a good time. I'm glad we went."

"Not feeling so much the third wheel now?" I asked.

Her eyes twinkled. "Nope."

My breath caught as I saw her place her glasses beside the coat and start on the buttons at her sleeves. She reached down to unlace her boots, toeing them off, before she started on the buttons of her shirt.

What… My mouth went dry as she continued to speak nonchalantly as she loosened her shirt.

"It was a much better experience than I remember." She began walking toward the stairs. When her shirt hit the floor halfway there, lust broke through my frozen surprise.

Her tinkling laughter filled the air when I snatched her up into my arms and began the trek up the first flight of stairs. This time, we didn't make it to the bed as I pulled the delicate silk bra from her and latched onto a plump nipple, pushing her against the wall outside my bedroom door. I was going to get to my wall fantasy it seemed.

My hum of pleasure at the thought filled the space around us.

Her fingers tore into my hair, keeping my mouth on her snuggly as she writhed against me, the heat of her soaking through the jeans she wore and blazing across my rigid cock.

"Oh God, yes!" she stuttered out as transferred my attention to her other breast, taking the previously tortured nipple in my fingers to pluck at it while I worried the taut one with my tongue.

"Edward, please, I can't handle slow right now. You've been torturing me all night," she panted out, already reaching between us to pull my shirt over my head, and in effect pulling me from her breasts. Her fingertips scraped over my nipples harshly sending heat coursing through me.

Eyes locked with mine, she ordered me, "I need you hard and fast."

Our clothes disappeared within seconds, and I leaned over seeking out her mouth, forcing her lips apart roughly in the haste to taste her and grabbing her neck to secure her to me. She groaned as our tongues touched, but I lunged harshly into her as her tiny hands surround my throbbing cock. Shit! I needed…

Grabbing her legs just above the knees, I pulled them up to straddle my waist and plunged into her…into the scalding wetness of her. Her cry of pleasure raced over me, making the hair along my arms rise in reaction.

"Fuck me, Edward," she begged, biting at my neck frantically.

I growled…Growled!...at her command.

Slamming into her was nirvana, the heat of her pulling at me as I felt her muscles clench around me. Her fingertips scored my back and arms as I pulled back to thrust again. She muttered something unintelligible as I sunk deeply into her, the angle giving a level of penetration that was delicious.

"Fuck!" It was my last utterance.

Bella twisted against me and sunk her nails into my arms as she arched her back, angling so that my cock stroked against her clit. The pressure built around me as I let loose, let my hips slamming over and over against her, seeking the pleasure her body could give me. Her velvety depths became my focus as I held her legs steady and drove us both toward release. The pressure clenched deliciously as I felt everything pool between my legs and the throbbing reached painful levels.

Needed her…needed her to engulf me…to claim me.

Then she did, screaming out as she clamped down on me ferociously, her body rigid as her muscles rippled harshly around me. It was too much and I came apart, emptying into her in a series of mind-robbing, soul-stealing thrusts.

My forehead fell to her heaving chest, and we remained wrapped around each other, me leaning against her and the wall holding us both up as we both panted. Too fast…I'd wanted to make it last, but hadn't been able to, her frantic behavior and my need spurring me on. The next time would, I swore to myself.

"Love you," she finally found the strength to whisper, rubbing her cheek across my hair.

I barely found the energy to chuckle. "Thank God, Bella, because I don't know what I'd do without you," I said against her skin.

I'd move in just a moment, but for now, I allowed myself to breathe in the scent of my forever.

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><p><strong>Would love to hear from you. I say it each week, but the repetition doesn't negate the sincerity of it.<strong>


	63. Mistakes

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**Just a short check in on Seth and Carlie. I haven't posted an outtake in awhile, but several people specifically asked for this one! **

**It is totally unbetated after a 12 hour day at work - hence, any mistakes are mine, and I own them!**

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><p>Seth POV<p>

"They! Were! Kissing!" Carlie squealed as soon as we turned the corner of the building, moving out of sight of the people hanging outside the building. I couldn't say how many times I heard the phrase "dancing a proverbial jig," but the one thing I did know was that Carlie was definitely doing it.

What did she think they'd been doing, just holding hands? She'd caught them once already, and she'd known it was going on outside the door the night she got us in trouble for flicking the light. I, for one, was betting that there was a lot more going on than just kissing, so I wondered what the excitement was about? "You've caught them before; why is this different?"

"They were kissing IN PUBLIC!" she cackled, as if that should explain it all. She actually bounced up and down in excitement.

Carlie and I had never been anything but brutally honest with each other… "Carlie…um…they stayed together last night. Alone…" I left off.

Her eyes widened and then she smiled broadly. She knew what I was saying. "Oh…I'm sure that there was a lot more going on in that motel room than just…" she made kissing motions with her mouth. "Or at least I hope so. Mama's not getting any younger, and if I'm going to get a baby sister or brother out of this deal, my dad needs to get busy convincing her that his ring needs to be on her finger. She can be so darn stubborn," she lamented.

I tried really hard to keep from rolling my eyes. This was the perfect example of the pot calling the kettle black. Unaware of what I was thinking, she continued on, a sly smirk on her face.

"Mama is such a stickler, that the fact she lost her senses and kissed him in front of everyone is MAJOR!" She half shouted, half squeaked the last word, twirling around to land on a bench just a few feet away. Throwing her head back, she rested it on the back of the wood, staring up into the night. Just a second later, she patted the wood beside her asking me to sit down.

As I did, she turned her head slightly to grin at me. God I loved her…she was so beautiful, and smart, and kind. She was also more at peace with everything than even I would've thought.

"I like your dad and all, but are you sure about all this?" I asked once again. It was a conversation we'd carried on several times behind our parents' backs.

She rolled her head even further toward me, so that she faced me fully. "He screwed up, no doubt. I have to stop thinking about what he admitted he'd said to her, or it makes me feel sick." She paused to reach over and grab my hand. "But…"

"You want to give him the chance." I understood her motives. To never give him a chance and lose out would be worse than forgiving and finding out whether or not he really meant what he said about being sorry. Carlie wasn't stupid, far from it in fact. She would be watching and measuring him. And if my assessment of Edward was accurate, he knew that she was and was fully willing to submit to it.

She nodded softly and then the smile reappeared. "Look at her, Seth! She glows. She didn't even look this happy when I thought she was dating that guy."

Carlie was speaking about her belief that at one time her mother had dated someone fairly seriously. Aunt Bella's secrecy had driven Carlie crazy. Carlie had wanted to meet the person her mother was "going with," but for some reason, only known to Aunt Bella, she'd kept it a secret. Carlie had snuck through Aunt Bella's phone once and found a name…Robert. But she'd been too afraid to call the number. Then, we'd heard that it was one of the managing agent's names, and Carlie had deflated. Her hopes that it was something more than business had died. It had been close though…her fascination in finding out who this Robert was almost winning out for a crazy plan like the one that had found her father.

She turned serious; looking at me in a way that was rare…she was being vulnerable. "He's trying, Seth. I don't know; it's like we have this bond or something. When he was helping me with my music, it was like we'd always done it together. The hurt from the years of him not being around just seemed to disappear. When he helped with our homework…the calls every night just to see how my day went…I don't know…he seems sincere. Do I judge him on one really bad mistake? I mean, it's not like I have to make the decision today or anything. At any time in the future that I see that he isn't the person I think he is, or that he isn't serious about making amends…well, I can deal with it then. You know?"

I did know. Thinking of a Confucius quote that I'd found in one of the books Aro had given me, I offered, "To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it."

She quirked her eyebrow at me and started laughing. "God...you are such a dork. What other guy goes around quoting a Chinese philosopher?"

I attempted to act insulted, but began laughing instead. "What does it say about you that you know who it is?"

"Okay, we're both dorks," she conceded.

_We were,_ I thought as she squeezed my hand gently. "Carlie, does it ever hit you just how…" I stopped not knowing exactly what to call it.

"…weird we are," she completed the sentence.

It was enough to cause us both to laugh. But it was the burst of laughter from across the way that distracted us, causing us both to look in that direction. A group of the kids from the Rez were tripping each other across the packed yard. Several were our age, the girls dressed in tight jeans with their hair styled and makeup perfectly applied, the boys attempting to appear older and tougher as they posed for the girls. My dad called it the "mating dance," warning the boys on the team to focus on what was important. But honestly, it _was_ important to have a girl at your side that liked you, and as much as my dad wanted to teach us to think with our "top" head, we were just boys and interested in girls.

It made me think of all the times I showed off for Carlie. I liked that she looked at me with wide eyes when we went swimming, or when I was sweaty from football practice. Being friends since before we could remember didn't mean that I didn't want her to see me as good looking, and I knew that she sometimes wore things that made her look incredible, just for me. I made sure to flex just so, when she was watching me work out, and I knew that she intentionally drove me crazy twirling her hair around her fingers. Our "mating dance." So what if our particular tango included the normal kid's stuff mixed in with classic piano pieces, archaic reading, and law books.

Maybe we weren't so weird after all. My guess was that we were just the products of parents that were too blunt at times about teenage sex and a handful of unique experiences.

But, for the mistakes of our parents, neither Carlie nor I would exist. And as I looked at the girl that centered my world, I knew beyond a doubt that would have been a total shame.

Bringing her fingertips up to my lips, a guilty pleasure I'd just recently been indulging in, I watched as her eyes widened again at the feeling of me touching her skin.

And, I had only one thought…

Perhaps when the mistakes made in life were given enough time to right themselves, they produced the grandest results.

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><p>Hope you enjoyed.<p> 


	64. Refuge

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

Bella POV

Something in the night stirred me from sleep, and I found that much like the previous morning, I awoke wrapped tightly in Edward's arms. It should've been an uncomfortable position, my body contorted to his, but it wasn't. I could feel his heart beating under my palm, and the cadence calmed me. It was raining outside; I could hear the steady pinging of the water drops against the windows. Even though the air was cool, the heat between our bodies made if feel like a personal oasis under the covers.

Brushing my hand across his chest, I was immediately fascinated by the feel of the fine, silky hair that tantalized my senses. A flush of desire washed over me as I remembered the drag of his stubble against my skin and the way he'd slowly stoked my body, like a musician making love to an instrument, into a writhing mess. I'd thought the frantic sex against the wall would've satisfied me, but when he moved against me again, brushing his face along my skin, everything within me had flared, and I'd known I needed him badly.

I should feel ashamed of my lascivious behavior…but with a very satisfied smile, I knew I didn't.

Even still, I could feel the delicious sting where my skin was slightly abraded from his stubble and the burn of the floor along my back from where he'd taken me the second time. There was no telling which articles of our clothing had actually survived the desperate clawing that had occurred to rid ourselves of the things that dared to separate us. I was grateful, however, that he'd insisted that we at least leave the floor for the bed. He'd had to carry me though because I was boneless, and I'd panicked when I felt him lifting me, thinking that it would be too much. A playful smack to my bottom had caused me to quiet with a gasp.

"Hush, Bella," he'd growled softly against my hair.

I didn't even remember him tucking us in. But now, I was awake, and the need to have him touch me burned brightly again. It was relentless, this craving for him. He was still recovering from being shot, and I was acting like a sex starved teenager. Attempting to concentrate on something other than the throbbing between my legs, I looked toward the windows, seeing the diffuse light coming from the general direction.

Such a peaceful place…so full of memories. It was a place that could make many more, and I couldn't believe that he'd come back here and bought it for the sole purpose of feeling close to me. Unfortunately, it was our last night of closeness for awhile. Perhaps that was why I couldn't seem to get enough of him.

The last night…

When the realization hit me, a wave of longing crashed over me.

My hand rubbed over his chest as if I was trying to dispel my worry by touching him. When I brushed over his nipple accidentally, he moaned and his arms seemed to clench around me. "Bella," he whispered

The realization that he'd said my name in his slumber made me grin. Shadows still pervaded the room, and I'd left my glasses downstairs. But, even with my poor eyesight, I knew one thing…he looked peaceful and innocent while he slept, like the worries of the world fell away from him. He was boyish almost, and it made me feel like a lush, wanting him so badly while he slept, serenely unaware of my devious thoughts.

Would it be so bad for me to wake him?

Before I even really pondered the question, my lips touched his skin softly, tasting him. I leaned farther over him, and when I did, I brushed against the part of him that was willing to pay attention to me. Even more lascivious thoughts blossomed and won out.

I couldn't help but admire his physique. Even at rest, the muscles of his stomach were tone; the feel of him sleek below me. I felt him twitch as my hair brushed along behind my lips, spreading across his skin. Pausing just above the head of his erection, I waited to see if he was awake. He stirred slightly, reaching out toward where I'd lain, his hand seeking me.

Gently, I wrapped my hands around him and ran my tongue across his head. This time he moaned, and I felt him jerk in my hands. My plan to watch how long it took him to wake up fell to the side as I took him into my mouth. Sucking harshly, I moved to take him as deeply as possible, humming in pleasure when I tasted him.

"Bella!" he growled out, coming instantly awake. "Baby…." he gurgled out, just before his fingers laced into my hair.

"Hmmm…" I hummed around him and felt him buck up into me at my actions.

"Fuck!" He arched up, moving his hips gently. I let him take control for just a moment, moving back and forth as I tugged at him. "Bella …baby…feels so good." His voice was seductive, sleepy, rough, and lust-filled.

_Talk to me,_ I thought, realizing how turned on I got at hearing him.

Placing my hands on his hips, I pushed him back to the bed, so that I could devour him. I'd dragged the covers off us during my explorations, so my nipples pebbled at the cool air and the lust racing through me. Popping off him, I used my tongue to trace the rigid lines of his hardness. I heard him panting and wished I had my glasses so that I could see him better.

"Does that feel good?" I teased, tracing his head with my lips while I waited for the answer.

"Exquisite…" He left off, breathing harshly as I surrounded him again. Cinching my hair just a little tighter, he guided my head the way he wanted it for a few seconds. When I scrapped him slightly with my teeth, he let loose with a string of excited curses, and I fully expected him to cum in my mouth. I could literally feel him grasping for control, trying to make the moment last instead of just giving in to the delicious surprise of waking up with my mouth on him. Releasing me, his hands clenched into the sheets beside him so tightly that I was surprised that he didn't rip the fabric. "Bella, baby, come here," he begged, having mastered at least an ounce of control.

I shook my head slightly, letting him know that I was where I wanted to be. I relaxed my throat and took him even far into my mouth, earning his startled grunt. Power…the way he twisted below me let me know he was entirely under mine. For some reason, the hazy sight of his hand clenching over and over into the sheet beside me was mesmerizing. It was addictive knowing that I could make him feel this way, render him almost speechless. Victory raced through me when I felt him begin to tremble below me.

"Stop! Please!" he begged and I relented, backing off a little. The sound of his harsh breaths filled the air between us for a few moments before he found the strength to speak. "I want to taste you, Bella. Swing around," he ordered slightly, but I felt his control slipping again as I resumed toying with him, enjoying the feel of him filling my mouth, playing with different touches of my tongue and angles to see what he enjoyed. He wasn't silent, and the sound of his groans and gasps fueled my frenzy. My fingers brushed over his balls, and I felt his muscles clench. "Bella, now! Don't you want to feel my tongue on you?" he roughly challenged.

The thought of feeling his lips on me drove me crazy, but I was inordinately fascinated by the feel of him gliding over my lips. So distracted was I that he took the choice away from me, finally grabbing my leg and in a quick move throwing one leg over his chest so that I widely straddled his face…bringing me in alignment for what he'd promised. A cry tore from me when I felt him touch me. It was too much…and for the moment I lost track of torturing him. This time it was my hands clenching into the sheets as I balanced precariously over him, my elbows the only part holding me just barely above his straining erection.

He'd buried his mouth in my folds, licking the wetness, and I threw my head back, breathing out his name in reaction. Moaning at the sound, he pushed even farther into me with his tongue, pulling at my hips reflexively, the rough drag of his tongue up and down, circling around me just shy of where he knew I was most sensitive. The throbbing between my legs grew so intense that it was almost painful, radiating through my body and burning away any calculations.

When I could think through the exquisite pleasure, I moved to take him in my mouth, but he swirled his tongue deliciously across my clit in reaction to my movement. The message was clear…he wanted me to remain still, to not touch him. And I tried…but the desire to give the same pleasure was too much. He didn't move, intent on torturing me for what seemed hours, so I began to struggle in an attempt to line our bodies in the manner I would have preferred. His growls were a low sound in his throat, and I felt the vibration against me. My nipples hardened painfully in response against his stomach and he noted this by huffing out a breath against me. The warm puff of air against my skin made my eyes roll back into my head. It was overwhelming, and my legs began to shake with the force of it. Sensing my distress, he rolled me onto my side. Following me, his teeth and mouth never left my swollen sex.

"Oh, hell yes …" His gruff expletive echoed for the briefest of moments as it gave me the opportunity I'd wanted and I leaned over and slid my mouth around him.

My tongue swirled when his did, my love nips followed his. Wrapping my tongue around him, I jerked my head back quickly to provide as much pull as I could, nipping the head of his cock as I let him go. He jerked and let out something that sounded suspiciously like a hiss before he bit my clit in response. I plunged down again on him, his head hitting the back of my throat then sucking until my cheeks hollowed out. He responded by sucking on my clit, pulling it taut then rubbing against it with the tip of his tongue. I saw stars. But, I wasn't going to back down, so I wrapped my hands around him, massaging to counter the up and down movement I was producing.

Fueled by the competition, heat raced across my skin, singeing me as electricity crackled between us. I was determined to make him cum before me and grinned in victory when I felt him harden perceptibly in my mouth, knowing this was the moment he lost control. I felt his hands grab my thighs in anticipation, his hips taking over the rhythm of riding my mouth, extending out the momentum. A harsh bark of pleasure tore from him as he moved his lips from me and tensed, spilling in waves into my mouth. My name spilling from his lips in a worshipful manner was probably the most erotic thing I'd heard.

Barely a second passed before he leaned up, and I felt his hands surround my rib cage. He pulled me up, turning me so that I was straddling his face again, this time facing him and the head of the bed just a few feet from me.

"Touch yourself, Bella," I clearly heard him command before he forced my legs farther apart and feathered the tip of his tongue across my clit.

I looked down to see his tousled bronze hair between my thighs, his eyes closed as he feasted. My hands fell to my breasts, as he began entering me with his tongue, raising me up and down on him. Carnal visions of me straddling Edward's face filtered through my consciousness upping the level of intensity. Too much…already the heat pooled heavily between my legs and the flicks of his tongue were bringing me to the point of pain, so intense was the need to cum. Then, I fell forward to grasp the headboard, unable to stay erect any longer. Holding onto the bed with what little strength I had left, my body writhed as my orgasm raced through me, clenching and twisting every muscle in my body to the point of blessed oblivion. I cried out as I felt him taste me again, almost wanting to escape the torture as wave after wave continued to crash down on me. A sob tore from me, my emotions spiraling out of control at the intensity of what'd just happened. He took pity, circling my waist with his hands and moving me slowly down so that I collapsed on him, my face in the crook of his neck, body splayed over him.

"Sh…baby. I've got you."

For the next few minutes, our pants of exhaustion and bliss were the only sounds other than the rain I'd forgotten all about. As if in unison, I felt our hearts begin to slow down, the heaving of our chests growing smaller. Peacefulness and repletion slowly replaced need and drive, and the room became our cocoon again.

I felt his slight chuckle just a bare second before I heard it. "Not sure what that was all about, but…um…thank you?"

I couldn't help but grin against him. "Mmm…exactly," I added and then yawned broadly. We still had a few hours before we had to get up, so I moved slightly in order to place my head at his shoulder, wrapping my arm back around his chest, and leg over his. Feeling his fingers brush over my tangled hair, I fell back sleep.

~SOMP~

Something woke me again, but this time it wasn't with the sense of peace. Edward had moved away from me abruptly, and I had the distinct impression that something was wrong. He was attempting to rise from the bed, but his arms were shaking. Upon a closer look, it was clear that he was shaking all over.

"Edward?" I asked quickly, moving from under the covers and to his side. I gasped when I saw his face. He was in pain, sweat pouring off him. "Edward!"

He tried to speak but couldn't, and my alarm flared. Where was the phone! I lunged off the bed, ready to run, and cursing that my glasses were downstairs.

"Bel…" he croaked and tried to reach for me. I fell to my knees between his legs, trying desperately to figure out the problem.

"Is it your heart?!" I screamed out, placing my hand feel said frantically beating organ. He jerked his head "no." As the sweat continued to pour off his face and body, his chest heaved. Then it hit me. He was having withdrawal symptoms. Carlisle had told me that they might come on in spurts like this.

What had we done the last time? My frantic brain questioned. Get him cooled off and hydrated. I could remember at least that.

"If I help, can you get to the shower?" I asked quickly, and I saw him blanch.

"Just water," he forced out, shaking like a tree in a storm. He looked pained before saying, "In the refrigerator."

I could do that…he didn't need to worry…and I'd get my glasses at the same time. Even though I felt disoriented going down the hallway, I trailed my fingers along the wall, coming to where it ended at the beginning of the broad curving stairs. Even though I wanted to rush back to him, I took the time to slowly step down them, unwilling to add a fall to the mix of what we had to deal with. Of course, I almost tripped across my own shirt, but luckily made it to the entrance table without a serious incident. Once I had my glasses on, I dashed to the kitchen, grabbing several ice cold bottles of water and a couple of apples. Hadn't Carlisle said that sweets helped? Damn, I wasn't sure, but I was already dashing back up the stairs, intent on getting to Edward, so it didn't matter.

Turning the lid on one of the bottles, I had it open before I stopped in front of him. It was then I realized his hands were shaking too bad…he'd spill it.

"Here," I said softly, raising the bottle to his lips.

Several trickles of water ran down his chin, making his heavy stubble turn darker in places, and when he wanted to stop, I forced him to take more. Only when the bottle was empty did I move to stand between his legs and put my fingers into his hair, scratching across his scalp in an attempt to help soothe him. I could feel the jerking of his body against me.

"Don't…I'm sweaty," he complained, as I continued to run my fingers through his hair.

"Sh…don't be silly. I already smell like you after last night. Which, by the way, I'm now feeling tremendously guilty about. I pushed you too hard." I'd realized I was most likely the reason that he was in this shape.

A harsh chuckle escaped him, but it was still sultry enough to make the hair on my arms and neck stand up. His shaking hands cupped my rear, squeezing just a little. "Best therapy around, Bella, but I did over do it. I know that." He forced his head up so that our eyes met. "But I'd do it all over again." He smirked deliciously. "Last night was…"

I stopped his words by placing my fingertips to his lips, knowing what he was trying to say. It had been amazing and enthralling, but perhaps my plan to reclaim his old room would need to wait until our next visit. Screwing the top on the empty bottle, I reached over to grab another one. A tremor went through him, making his hands shake against me. "More water?" I asked softly, watching new beads of sweat form across his forehead.

"Please."

There was something intimate about standing naked between his legs while I helped him drink a simple bottle of water. When he finally finished what he could manage, I leaned the bottle against his forehead and then neck, letting him enjoy the coolness. To me, it was cool in the room, but I could feel the heat coming off him in waves. The silence between us was comfortable, not stilted, as we both waited for him to ride out the worst of it. He finished the bottle before I could really see any level of control returning.

"Do you think we can manage to get you in the shower without killing one another?" I asked and could see him assessing the situation.

In my opinion, he was still shaking entirely too much, but I breathed a little easier when I saw him grin. "I think so."

The walk across the room was interesting…him walking slowly and precisely while I worried over every little thing. I forced him to sit on a sleek bench that was housed under one of the two large mirrors and sinks while I started the shower and retrieved towels. When I turned back to him, it was to find him watching me with bright eyes.

"You are so fucking beautiful," he said, and I started laughing. My hair was a chaotic mess, I smelt like sex, my mouth…well there was no telling what my breath smelt like considering just how I'd taken him during the night. Yeah…I was a beauty. But one thing was for sure, I was going to at least detangle my hair before I washed it and brushed my teeth.

"I'm going to hit the bathroom quickly, and then get the tangles out of this rat's nest…" I motioned to my hair "…before we get in."

"'kay."

While I quickly went in to the smaller toilet room and followed through with brushing my teeth afterwards, he sat quietly, and I could tell he was trying to master his weakness.

"Need the bathroom?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I think I can make it," he admitted, pushing to a stand. While he was gone, I pulled the tangles out of my hair. A hot shower and a good shampoo, after the most wonderful of nights, was going to do wonders for my outlook. Leaving my glasses on the counter I put out his toothbrush, knowing he'd most likely want the same thing.

Steam had started billowing in the shower, so I moved into the glass enclosed area and turned the heat down. Last time, Edward had taken a cold shower in an attempt to get rid of the shakes, but I didn't know if he'd want the same now. I smiled to see him standing at the sink. The visual was one of beauty, even with my poor eyesight. He was long and lean, but the muscles in his back and legs were clearly evident. His ass was a masterpiece, and I wanted to sink my teeth into it for some reason. Seeing him reach for the bottle of Tylenol, I grinned, knowing if I didn't turn around, he'd catch me staring at him. Then I realized his eyes were watching me through the mirror, and his trembling smile told me I'd already gotten caught ogling him.

Oh well…

Stepping under the water, I decided to shampoo my hair first so that I could leave the conditioner in while I scrubbed myself and Edward down. In my mind, there was never a question that my hands wouldn't be running all over him, even if it was meant to be non-sexual.

The faint draft of the glass door opening made me grin. "Here, sit here," I said of the bench built out of the tile of the wall. Reaching my hand to his, I joined our fingers, pulling him over toward me. While he sat, I rinsed my hair and put the strawberry smelling conditioner in.

"Ah…" I heard him breathe out. "That smell drives me crazy," he admitted.

Hair lathered in the conditioner, I opened my eyes and moved over to him. "Good. I hope you dream about it when I'm not around," I teased and saw his smile come just a little easier. He seemed a little less shaky

"You next, Green Eyes," I ordered, reaching up to take the detachable shower head off, and scrunch my nose at him. "Eyes closed," I warned before I soaked him down. He shuddered as the water poured over him. "You okay?"

"Yeah, that feels good, but I have to admit that I liked the smell of you on me."

My hand shook at that statement. "Edward! Stop. I have a plan. Shower. Breakfast. Rest. Don't tempt me," I warned as I poured a palm full of soap into my hand and began scrubbing his hair.

"Mmmm…"was his only response. It almost sounded like a purr. More importantly, I felt him calming even more beneath my fingers. As I rinsed his hair, I asked, "Edward, how long do these things last? I mean, I know you can't really answer that because it will be different each time?"

He shook his hair slightly, sending water in all directions before answering. "Really just depends, but they should come less frequently and intensely with time. I'm already feeling better. It just hit me suddenly, and I was attempting to get out of bed so that I wouldn't disturb you. I'm still just a little shaky."

"What can I do to help you?" His grin was wolfish then. "Stop!" I hissed this time, feeling myself respond to his lure even still. "Let's rest, okay? Everyone else will be showing up for lunch, and I'd like to just spend the time being with you."

"How about we have a picnic in my old room?" he suggested, almost as if he'd read my mind.

"I'll let you set it up, while I cook," I offered, taking down the bodywash and a washcloth at the same time. "Up you go, handsome," I directed seeing that he wasn't shaking as much.

His eyes widened as he saw the wash cloth and finally understood that I intended to wash him. "Bella, I'm not so sure that's a good idea…if you want me to keep my hands off you. Just being in the shower with you is killing me."

He couldn't be serious. Then I took a good look at him and squeaked. He was.

"No way! We are resting! I'm not having you collapse on me," I warned, still taking the time to soap up the cloth.

If he groaned and moaned a few times during my "ministrations," so be it. I left him with his razor, after asking if he thought he could manage it. I knew there was no way I could do that without attacking him. Soon… I wanted to shave him soon.

~SOMP~

Edward's kitchen was a masterpiece. The basic design was still Esme's creation, but rich granite and stainless steel now dominated the sleek space. When I saw how organized and efficient the area was, I realized that Edward had told me the truth about his continued interest in cooking. Pulling out the fruit, I sliced the rest up, knowing we had to use it today before leaving. I then scrambled up the rest of the eggs while frying bacon. Having put the coffee on, I grabbed a carafe I found in the cabinet and filled it full before starting back up the stairs with the tray I'd made.

Hearing the music as I walked down the hallway, I stopped in surprise when I crossed through the door. He'd piled a bunch of pillows on the floor, thrown several blankets across them, and left the large door leading to the outside deck slightly open, allowing the cool air to filter through the room. The sound of the rain was calming, reminding me of our afternoon the day before. But here, the patter was accompanied by the soft sounds of classic music. I smiled to see several books, including his copy of The Swan Song laid out on a stack of pillows, but I laughed when I saw the lotions as well, definitely up for giving and receiving a hand or foot rub. Edward's head snapped to me as he heard me in the door, and he turned from the window where he'd been standing gazing out into the rain. He looked better, not as pale or shaky, but I wasn't convinced. He needed to rest, and I was going to make sure it occurred. He moved quickly toward me, seeing the food I had balanced on the tray, and while he did, I admired him in his long sleeved blue t-shirt and soft jeans.

"Smells wonderful," he hummed, and then his stomach growled. Blushing, he shrugged his shoulders before taking the food and leading me over toward the nest he'd created.

"This isn't what I'd imagined when I thought about us being in this room together for the first time again," he admitted, setting the tray safely on the floor before sitting. Capturing my hands and drawing me down onto the cushions beside him, he whispered against the skin of my neck, "Are you sure I can't tempt you."

"You are temptation incarnate for me, Edward. A fact of which you are entirely aware."

His lips curved against me. "What a wonderful balm to my soul." Drawing back, I could see the blaze of emotion in his green eyes before he moved to pick up my book. Turning to where he'd bookmarked it, he read, "Unwearied still, lover by lover. They paddle in the cold. Companionable streams or climb the air; Their hearts have not grown old."

"Yeats' Wild Swans." I knew the verses well.

"Yes, when you used it at the beginning of this chapter, I knew it described exactly what love should be. It is unwearied, companionable, and never grows old. Bella…" he seemed hesitant almost, which intrigued me. Grabbing my hands, he slowly laced our fingers back and forth together. "This weekend…being able to make love to you…it has been heaven, but with my past, I wanted you to know that what I feel for you is so much more than just sex or making love." He grinned bashfully. "Being able to physically love you is just the expression of everything I feel for you, everything I desire. I want the moments, like now and yesterday afternoon, where we can just be. I long for the nights of taking you to dinner and possibly even breakfast. I look forward to the joy of just sitting by your side to read or watch a movie." He kissed the back of my hand before continuing. "I'm going to screw up. I told Billy as much. But in the end, I want you to know the full measure of my feelings for you and my commitment to make this work."

I kissed him softly, letting him know without words that I felt the same way. His words had certainly been unnecessary, because I knew how he felt, but I couldn't deny how honored I felt for him to humble himself enough to say them.

When he pulled back, he added, "I just had to let you know before our refuge is invaded and the miracle of our daughter wraps us around her little finger again."

Taking his hand, I kissed his palm and then placed it over my heart. "Edward…in the famous words of Judy Garland, **'For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.'"**

**I want to take ****a moment to thank each and every reader of this story for hanging in there with me; we do still have a few chapters left. Your comments and thoughts mean so much – you'll never know. I feel bad for not responding to each and every one of you as I did in the past. Please know I plan to attempt to get back to that, but my real life has been extremely busy the last few weeks. Just attempting to get a chapter out as I've promised you each week has taken my full efforts. **


	65. Everything

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

* * *

><p><strong>Carlie POV<strong>

Uncle Jacob turned a sharp corner and up ahead a large white house seemed to mystically appear out of the light rain and mist.

I hadn't known there was a bed and breakfast here. It was so remote, and it boggled the mind that it could be successful so far from the highway. In fact, thinking of the direction we'd driven, I was guessing that it wouldn't have been too much of a run through the woods behind it to get to the boundaries of the reservation. All in all, it was a puzzle.

But then I saw my parents standing under the porch, my father's arm around my mom's shoulders, all the thoughts of the house were gone. They looked happy. Really happy. I grinned at the sight and felt Seth nudge me a little with his leg. We were sitting together in the back of the Suburban that Aunt Leah had rented for the trip. He was pressed to my side, our "stash" of goodies for the trip back tucked safely beside us. If there was one thing, other than me, that Seth became protective of, it was food. He'd given Samantha a stash of her own and growled at her when she attempted to swap out for her favorites. I had my iPod and reader if it got too bad. Their bickering over snacks was legendary on our road trips.

But that wasn't important at the moment; the smiles on my parents' faces were. When the truck stopped, it took just a minute before we managed our way out of the beast and under the cover of the porch deck. Stepping into my mother's arms, she hugged me tight, before my dad did the same.

"Hey," she said quickly. "Did you have a good rest of the night?"

"I did. Luckily, Billy claimed elder and got us out of the cleanup. I thought Sam and the others were going to blow gaskets when they figured out they had to clean up."

"They were still muttering this morning," Uncle Jacob admitted, nodding at my father in greeting.

"Come in. We've had the steaks marinating since early this morning," my dad said, holding his hand out toward the door.

It hit me then that I didn't see any other cars in the area, nor did I see a single soul around the grounds. When we entered the front door, it became quickly apparent that this wasn't what I thought. Stopping just inside in the large open hallway area, I took a look around, the warm colors and comfortable furnishings beginning to speak to me.

"Whose home is this?"

"Mine," my dad said softly, moving toward me. When he came to a stop before me, he admitted. "It's where my family lived while we were in Forks. I've owned it for several years now."

For some reason, the realization that this was where my father and mother had been together as kids made me feel sad. I wandered away from them as a group and looked into the kitchen, then turned to look back into the living room. The back wall was made totally of glass, and I could see the yard clear to a broad river not far away. It seemed almost unreal. Having moved to the window, I placed my hand against the cool surface, and I wondered if my mother had ever done this. Had she stood here gazing out with my father's arms around her waist?

Somehow a vision of her pounding her fists against it as she screamed to be let in flashed through my mind, instead. It morphed, turning into me doing the same as I watched my father and his family live their happy lives within without me.

A pain settled in my chest for some reason. Why was seeing the house such an issue for me, and why had he bought it?

Suddenly, I realized I was about to cry and moved toward the door and out onto the large wooden back porch. I heard my mom call out, but it wasn't her light footsteps that followed me. Putting my hands on the railing wood, I waited for my father to join me.

He came to stand beside me, placing his hands on the support in front of us just like I had. I'd always thought I'd gotten my hands from my mother, but I realized, looking at his long fingers resting just beside mine, that I'd gotten some of his characteristics there. When he didn't speak, I looked up to see him gazing down at me with a soft expression, his green eyes sad.

"Why are you upset?"

Shrugging my shoulders was really the only answer I could give, because I didn't know why. Running my fingertip across the grain of the wood, I looked out over the barely contained forest. He waited patiently, leaning forward to put his elbows on the railing.

"I hate that you weren't there when I was growing up," I finally admitted one of the thoughts running around my head.

He turned slightly to watch me, his expression patiently curious.

"And I hate that this place looks so…homey…and it has been here all along. I wonder how many times we spent time at the reservation…" I glanced in the direction "…and you were here? Did we ever cross paths just seconds before each other back home? Did you ever imagine having a daughter like me, did you ever wonder…just if? Were you happy when you saw me, or did you just think what a nuisance I might be in your life?" He grabbed my hand then, squeezing it between his warm ones, and I knew the answer to that question. It was killing him not to interrupt me, but he allowed me the silence even if it was eating at him.

Huffing, I admitted, "I guess I understand your reasons…both you and Mama, but…there is a part of me that is mad because both of you were so just so damn stubborn. " Turning to full face him, I admitted, "I would have liked visiting here."

Looking first down at his hands, he took a deep breath and then nodded accepting my rage.

"I can't help but be angry with you for not sharing this with me. You should have gone after her; you should have known better!" The tears started, and I wanted to shout in frustration. I hated crying! It made me feel so out-of-control. It didn't make it better that I really didn't know why I was doing it.

Suddenly, he pulled me into his arms and hugged my face to his chest as I sobbed. And it felt so natural to just bawl into his shirt, knocking my fists against him lightly. I cried for all that had been lost and for the time that had been given away. He'd never snuck money under my pillow as the tooth fairy. He hadn't been there to teach me how to ride a bike, or kiss my first banged up knee. He hadn't bailed me out of the principal's office when I fought the girl that made fun of my mom, or secretly taken me out for ice cream because I'd knocked some sense into her. Of course, Uncle Jake had filled in, but I couldn't help but be mad that my dad had possibly been so close…but yet so far. It seemed like a million what ifs raced through my mind, all triggered by the sense of longing and belonging the house had caused.

Finally, however, the embarrassment of the moment began to win over. Why in the heck had I started crying like this! But my dad wasn't going to allow me to be humiliated, I realized, when he drew my face back from him gently, and ran his thumbs across my cheeks wiping away the wetness.

"I am usually able to put into words exactly what I'm feeling, but I'm failing right now." He held my face between his hands, continuing to brush his thumbs across my cheeks. "I love you, Carlie. I don't think that I could possibly love you more, but I too regret that we lost those years." He moved to push my hair back behind my ears. "Let's just make the memories we can from here, okay? Like today, showing you our house."

"Our?" I laughed out in a sobbing and way too hopeful manner.

He blushed, making him almost too pretty. "Well…um…not that I've…" He then smirked, and shook his head slightly. "Your mom isn't ready to hear that from me just yet, but this is your house as much as it is mine now. This is just the beginning, because I want to make a lifetime of memories with you. Let's start with today, and then we'll have the rest of our lives to make up for what was lost." He leaned down to kiss my forehead. "Okay?"

"'kay. Sorry I got so sloppy," I said of his shirt.

He chuckled softly. "You remind me so much of your mother. That is exactly something she would say."

"How do you know that? I mean…you were only together for a short time. How do you really know her at all?" Wow, as soon as the words came out of my mouth, I realized how snarky I was being. This was supposed to be a happy moment, me seeing his home. Why was it bringing out the bitch in me? Thankfully, he didn't try to give me a sweet answer.

"That is a fair question, actually." He moved back a little, but took my hand to hold. Then looking out over the yard as I had, he gathered his thoughts. "It is probably hard for you to understand, because you and Seth have been together since birth, but it is just the sudden realization that this other person completes you. You feel…whole…when you are with them. And in my case, when you rip that person from you with an incredibly horrific mistake, it is a feeling you never find again. It eats at you, day in and day out, turning you into something you don't even recognize." He turned, catching me with his gaze. "I knew your mother…knew her! And she knew me. I think that is what was the most damaging part of what happened, that I could make such a stupid decision and destroy something so precious. I was quite aware of what I had. It was so apparent, and I still can't explain how I made a decision that was so blatantly stupid. Being apart, while seemingly the best for your mother…I allowed it to destroy me because I couldn't handle her loss. Against all odds, your mother is giving us a chance, and it is something that I won't take advantage of again."

He finally released my hand and turned to place his back against the railing. His face broke into a smile so broad that I didn't have to look to know that my mother watched us through the windows. "She is exactly the girl she was then, the essence of her becoming more beautiful with time. Her forgiveness, her humor, her spirit, warmth, and passions. Her wit has only grown sharper, her compassion expanding beyond what I can even comprehend." He smirked turning back to me. "You are exactly like her." He winked as I sniffed loudly, trying to get my tears totally under control. The hiccup didn't help. "I'm sorry the house upset you, but I'm hoping that it was because you really like it?" he left off.

I turned to see my mother watching me carefully. When I grinned shyly at her, the relief on her face was immediate. Smiling at the two of us, she moved slowly away, walking toward the kitchen. The look of love on my father's face was calming. He'd been right in everything he'd said about her.

"The house is amazing. I'm sorry; I don't know what got into me."

"Hey! It's fine. I'm still getting by pretty easy, and I am well aware of it. But I would like to show you the rest of the house and let you choose a room to make your own. If you and your mom would be up to it, we can come often. It's not too far from the city, and I find it incredibly peaceful."

"Yeah…that sounds good."

"Shall we then?" he offered, holding his arm out so that I could slide my hand around it.

"Bout time," Uncle Jacob said when we moved inside; he was walking toward us, a large platter of steaks in hand. "You managed the ribs; I'll do the steaks." He grinned broadly, the white of his teeth flashing against the dark of his skin.

Seth came behind him with a large platter of vegetables. My other half…I knew what my dad meant. When he handed me a wet washcloth before reaching out to tug a piece of my long hair, I realized that the fact that he'd thought about me and that I would want to wipe my eyes…it was a true testament to how much he loved me and how attuned we were.

"You've seen the living room and kitchen. The second floor is where the bedrooms are located. The third is mostly unfinished space, with some storage."

Leading me toward the stairs, we were stopped by my mom's voice. "Jake, Seth, come with us. I think you'll like the house."

"Let me just throw the veggies on," Uncle Jake called from outside.

"This was Alice's when we were growing up," my dad showed us an empty room, having turned left when we reached the head of the stairs. It was a nice large room and slightly away from the others, so I could imagine my aunt hiding here...retreating from life when it became overwhelming.

What intrigued me though was the room across from her. It looked out over the forest to the side of the house and had a large door that looked like it opened onto a deck. All that was great, but it was the large pile of pillows and blankets in the floor that intrigued me. Breaking from my dad's arm, I walked into it, grinning at the water bottles and books. Yeah…they'd been in here; it had obviously been my father's room. I was trying hard not to get caught looking around, but I was hoping for at least some incriminating evidence. Anything…

I'd been good long enough. Having already broken down on my dad, I figured I might as well go ahead and go for it.

"Is this where I was conceived?" I asked, and watched in delight as my mom's and dad's faces blanched and then turned beet red.

**Edward POV**

"Is this where I was conceived?" Carlie asked, attempting to keep her face serious. But I could see the imp in there. That was when I could manage to think past the sharp flush of embarrassment.

Jacob, of course, burst out laughing, slapping his hands against his legs and basically howling. Bella spun around to glare at him, but her efforts brought little relief. He attempted to control himself, I guess, but it only made him sound like he was choking.

The sad thing was she had most likely she had been conceived in this room. Bella and I had become pro's at sneaking in and out of each other's bedrooms. She'd always had it easier though, having just to climb up the lattice work. I'd about broken my arm several times from falling out of the damn tree I'd had to utilize.

"Carlie!" Bella finally gasped, in outrage.

"Well, I'm just asking. It's not like we don't all know it happened. I mean, Daddy cried when Aunt Leah finally made him get rid of the Rabbit. We all know why…" she left off.

This time I burst out laughing seeing even Jacob pale under his bronze color.

"Carlie Swan!" Bella hissed beside me, and I found it ironic that Seth actually dove for our daughter, putting his hand over her mouth. He was attempting to keep his lips from twitching, but I could already determine that this wasn't the first time he'd rescued her.

Seth wrapped his arm around her waist as if he was attempting to keep her from moving, and from just above his hand, her eyes twinkled in mischief. I couldn't help but feel good about seeing her back in her element. Her sadness from before, when she'd realized that the house was mine, had almost undone me.

"Let me show you the rest," I told them and moved quickly out of the "conception room."

~SOMP~

"So…I think I want the whole third floor for my room," Carlie announced when we'd been on the road for about an hour.

Closing up the house had been difficult, because I was leaving some very poignant and wonderful memories there. I was also leaving a lot of laughter, which there hadn't been in the house in a long time. It was almost as if the walls soaked up the emotion and the aura lightened. Jacob's steaks and vegetables had been spot on, and with the entertainment provided around the table, it had almost seemed as if I could feel the spirits of my family moving around us.

With each moment I spent with Leah, I grew to respect the woman more and more. I could've squeezed her in appreciation when she delicately toed a piece of torn lace under the edge of my bed. How Bella and I had missed it, I couldn't say, but it would have been like gasoline to a match in our daughter's hands. Carlie was amazing and irreverent and just like her mother, as I'd informed her.

"It's yours," I offered, turning around to smile at her.

Jacob was driving with Leah beside him. Bella and I had taken the first row, with Samantha behind us, and Seth and Carlie in the far back. I'd immediately gotten in beside Bella instead of calling "shot-gun" because I'd wanted to savor the last hours of being able to touch her.

"Just let me know what you want to do with it, and we'll get it done."

She seemed pleased with the answer, and turning I caught Jacob's gaze in the rear-view mirror. He was still watching…as if he was Carlie and Bella's appointed protector, but at least the rage in his eyes at my presence in their lives was gone. He was giving me a fair chance, and that was all I could ask for.

The miles seem to pass too quickly as I listened quietly to the family, the ebb and flow of what was obviously their common ways of responding to each other. At various times, I squeezed Bella's hand, knowing that I would be leaving her soon. The thought panicked me, and my heart started beating so hard that I was surprised that everyone in the SUV couldn't hear it. We made the Seattle city limits early evening, and I began to lock down on my panic, determined not to let it show.

Too soon though, we turned onto the highway that would lead to my family's homes. The gates seemed unwelcoming somehow…representing a barrier to my happiness instead of a portal to belonging. The lot that had been left empty beside my father's and mother's home was never more pronounced in my mind. If the tightness of Bella's hand in mine was any indication, she was as anxious as I was.

When Jacob turned off the engine, I actually flinched, preparing to walk away from them.

"How long will it take you to get some changes of clothes, Daddy?" Carlie piped up, startling me from the dread sinking in my stomach.

My eyes jerked to Bella, in a manner to tell her that I was sorry that Carlie was making such assumptions. However, when I met her eyes, it was to find her looking at me quizzically as if she was waiting to hear my answer.

"Um…Carlie…there wasn't a plan for me to come back to your house," I answered, looking directly at Bella to let her know that I wasn't assuming anything.

Her lips quirked at my answer, before she said, "There wasn't a plan for you not to…"

I felt the air in the car grow expectant. Were they really giving me the opportunity as a group to go home with them? Shocked, I stared at Bella for a moment.

"Um…Redhead…make a decision, times a wasting. I'm ready to get home, take a shower, and possibly get into my own bed," Jacob's voice burned through my stunned confusion.

"I would need a few minutes," I finally croaked out, my eyes still glued to Bella.

"We'll wait," Jacob said, and I pulled Bella out of the truck with me, waiting until we were in the garage door before I spun to face her.

"Bella…we didn't speak about this. This is a big step, being together around Carlie. I'm not sure…"

She stopped my words with her fingers. "Edward, do you want to come home with me or not?"

My groan was enough answer, but to make sure she understood me correctly, I grabbed her, pulling her to me so that I could feel her against me. My voice was harsh and gruff when I could finally speak. "God, baby, I've been dreading the night without you."

"Then go get your clothes, and let's go home with our daughter. We'll need to talk with her about it, but she's not obtuse. She knows what happened this weekend." When she saw my wild, uncertain look, she finally admitted, "Edward, Carlie spoke with me at the house, while you and Jacob were cleaning up the grill. She asked if you were going to start living with us. I didn't know what to say, so I told her we'd talk about it. I guess this is her way of forcing the issue."

"I can sleep on the couch."

She smirked before saying, "I'm too old for that when I have a perfectly comfortable bed that we can sleep in together."

Admittance into Bella's inner sanctum…it was temptation…lush and sweet. But as alluring as it was, I needed to make the right decision.

"No," I said, half of my body screaming in outrage, the other half breathing in relief. Before the hurt could appear in her eyes, I explained my decision. "I'm not saying never, Bella, just not tonight. It is my way of showing the admiration I have for you and Carlie. A decision of allowing me to stay overnight needs more than the discussion we could have this evening. It is important to me that she knows how much I love and respect you."

She remained still for the barest moment, worrying me tremendously, but then I saw the small grin on her face. "She said you were going to say that."

Bella's words shook me. It would seem that the conversation between them had been quite serious. "What?" Lack eloquence much, Edward?

"Carlie said that you weren't going to want to stay with me until you had some 'big' talk with us. We're ready, Edward. It's up to you. I won't feel more or less respected whatever you decide, but…" she pushed into me closer, enticing me with the heat between us "…I'd miss you beside me."

Almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth, my lips were on her, pulling from her the taste that haunted me.

"I'd miss you too," I whispered against her swollen lips just a minute later. "Bella…I'm trying to do what's right. Are you sure? It is a huge step. I have hesitations, but I want to respect your wishes."

"What are your hesitations?" she said quietly, watching my face.

"Carlie. She may know that we are together that way, but does it give the wrong image for me to stay?"

"You're her father, Edward. She wants us together, and you would be the only man I've ever had stay overnight. I think she knows just how serious that is."

Desire clawed through me. The thought of waking up with both of them, under the same roof, was intoxicating. My mind ran circles around it all.

"Edward?" she questioned bringing me back from the maelstrom. "What do you want? Just tell me the first thing that came to mind when I asked the question."

"To go with you and Carlie." The words jerked out of my mouth.

"Then it is simple - go pack your bags. We'll worry about where you are going to sleep after talking to Carlie, okay?"

My father and mother came into the kitchen at that point, having heard us talking and smiled at seeing us embracing.

"Hey!" my mom said, and immediately beginning asking Bella about the weekend.

My love pushed me in the direction of my temporary room, silently telling me her desires. As I moved down the hallway to grab my clothes, I felt my father at my side.

"Did you have a good weekend?" he asked gently. I knew he didn't want to pry, but he was checking up on me both mentally and physically.

Unable to stop the smile that split my face, I turned to him and admitted, "The most amazing and life altering one." I stopped so that he and I could focus on one another. "Bella and Carlie have asked me to come home with them."

His smile was blinding. "And…"

"I'm ready," I admitted, feeling the final chains fall from my shoulders.

"For?"

"Everything."

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><p><strong>As always, it is a privelege to hear from you. <strong>


	66. Five Reasons

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

Our stop at Esme's and Carlisle's house was brief, Edward emerging from his make-shift recovery room with a tote and garment bag, while Esme and I talked about the weekend. Unsure of whether or not he'd told them about the house, I'd kept mum on where we'd stayed. I wanted to laugh when I saw the small bag he carried, but I knew he'd most likely come back here for his therapy so that he could encourage Samantha. So, I wasn't going to comment on his light packing. He was again attempting not to overstep, and I figured that he could just keep changing out clothes until he figured it out.

His actions made me ponder when the forceful Edward I remembered would reappear. Certainly he was there in bed, but he was holding back with me everywhere else. He was a successful doctor and businessman, so it was my guess that his delicate steps in regards to our relationship had to do with his quest not to overstep boundaries. Perhaps when we got home, he'd begin to see that Carlie and I were serious. It wasn't like I didn't have hesitation myself. I'd never lived with anyone other than Carlie and Jacob's family; I wasn't always the most cheerful person. In addition, the house was just too small, and I knew that it was going to take some careful planning or I was going to embarrass myself. I didn't think it would be exactly the maternal thing to do to buy my child a set of earplugs. Shrugging at my irreverent thoughts, I grinned as Edward moved to take my hand in his.

Edward's eyes twinkled at the humor I was attempting to stifle, but I was grateful that he didn't ask what caused it. That would have been an embarrassing conversation between his parents and us.

"Dad, do you feel comfortable with me driving? It has been over 24 hours since I took the last pill," Edward asked of Carlisle. "I'd like to have my car to drive Bella and I around, and I certainly don't want to inconvenience James when he comes back to work with having to babysit me."

Carlisle narrowed his eyes at Edward, and I swear I almost saw the man beside me squirm under his dad's clinical assessment. "Short trips only, Edward. You still don't know when you might have an episode."

"Good enough." Edward grabbed the opportunity and all but pulled me toward the garage in his effort to escape with his prize, grabbing a set of keys to the side of the door. I barely had time to catch Esme's wink as he pulled me into the garage.

His car was sleek and black, and it reminded me of a jungle cat: black…golden eyed…and predatory. "This is a very pretty car," I managed, not really believing it to be an accurate description.

He huffed as he pulled the passenger side door open for me. "What is it with you and Carlie? An Aston Martin is dangerous…powerful…not pretty!"

I cracked up at his disgruntled expression. "Okay…it's…masterful," I added with a roll of my eyes, and he chuckled before shutting the door.

It definitely purred when he cranked it up and pulled out of the garage, and I closed my eyes, placing my hands to the seat and door so that I could feel the vibrations and focus on the scent. It was alluring; I could smell the leather and Edward, the scents mixing enticingly in the small space. And as the engine roared powerfully beneath us, I couldn't help but make a mental comparison to the man beside me…sleek lines…beautiful…seductive. My meanderings were cut short when he came to a stop. Rolling the window down, he spoke with Leah. "We'll follow you."

I watched him circumspectly as we tailed Jake. Edward maneuvered the car with a grace I clearly remembered, and it made me think… "Hey, whatever happened to your grandpa car?" I was referring to his Volvo.

I saw the muscle in his cheek twitch. "I sold it. I couldn't get your smell out of it." He glanced over with sad eyes. "It was agony," he admitted. "I found out later that the guy I sold it to wrecked in a big rain storm. He came out in one piece, but the car was totaled. I saw the pictures; dad really did know what he was doing when he bought that car. It was all but destroyed, but the guy came out of a nasty accident with only scratches."

I'd always thought the car was an odd choice for Edward and Alice to use, but I could see safety being a big reason Carlisle considered it. He'd bought Emmett one as well, but the elder Cullen sibling had traded it on a Jeep while away at college. I could still remember Carlisle's horrified face when Emmett drove up to the house in Forks all but hanging out of the thing.

"And the beast?" he asked softly, bringing my attention back to the here and now.

I burst out laughing. He'd literally hated my truck in high school. She'd had class though and presence; she'd suited me. "Well, I had Jake sell her after my accident. It wasn't like I could drive her anymore, and we needed the money." I'd never tracked the old lady down. She'd served me well, and I could only hope she'd had a good life and that her owners had loved her as much as I had.

I saw the sorrow wash over him at the news. He might have hated my old Chevy, but he'd known that I loved her with a passion. "Hey," I called out to him, drawing his eyes for a moment. "Love you." He grinned then, turning back to watch the road.

We pulled into the driveway within another minute and exited his car as Carlie, Seth, and Samantha spilled from the Suburban, Leah and Jake following. His bag thrown over his shoulder, Edward walked forward to grab mine and Carlie's.

"I'll take the Burb back in the morning after I drop Carlie and Seth off and get one of the guys to pick me up," Jake let me know, catching my eyes. He was checking on me in his roundabout way. When he caught the crook of my lip, he grinned subtly and reached down for Leah's and his bag. Accepting my decision in this, Jake kissed my forehead, throwing his arm around Leah's shoulder as he walked away. She gave a gentle wave of her hand before letting him play big dog.

"See you in the morning," Seth told Carlie, placing an almost identical kiss to her forehead as Samantha waited. Then, he too threw his arm around his sister's shoulders and starting walking toward the house. Seth was so much like his father that it was scary at times. It was the reason I knew that Seth would be a good husband for my daughter. I'd had years of watching Jacob become the man I'd always known he'd be.

Reaching over, I grabbed Edward's hand before we moved into the house and the 'discussion' we needed to have. With a gentle squeeze I pulled him forward to join our daughter. In true Carlie fashion, she'd plopped down on the couch, having tossed her bag a short distance down the hallway. I watched in fascination as Edward grinned at her and then went to set our bags down as well.

"Let me take your garment bag to our room, and I'll be right back," I said to him. Figuring he'd brought at least a couple changes of good clothes, I didn't want them to get wrinkled.

His eyes had widened at my use of 'our room,' but he quickly handed over the bag moving to sit on the oversized chair across from our daughter. I tried not to think too much about the emotion that threatened to overwhelm me as I moved some of my clothes to the side to give him space, and then I realized I'd have to clear some drawers as well. Taking a quick look around my room, I realized what a momentous occasion this was…allowing him into my bedroom. It had been my safe haven for so long, my place to retreat from everyone when things became overwhelming. It wasn't overly feminine, but I started to think about the changes his presence would bring about. Surprisingly, my thoughts were calm about sharing my space for the first time.

When I returned, it was to find them in conversation about breakfast.

"As you know, Mama isn't a morning person," Carlie said, ratting me out. "Unless we've cooked something the night before, I just usually grab something quick."

"Well, I'm actually a big breakfast person, even when I'm on the late shift. So if I'm…" he hesitated and then forged forward "…home, I'll fix breakfast. What time do you leave for school?" he asked her quickly.

"Usually around 7, because I ride with Dad and Seth. Aunt Leah drops Samantha off on her way to work."

"I can work with that," Edward said with a grin, patting the space beside him on the chair.

As was human nature when faced with an uncomfortable situation, they'd started with a benign part of the conversation, but by asking me to squeeze into the chair with him, he was making a point. We were in this together, and I saw Carlie try not to grin at us. Edward glanced quickly to me, but then began. It felt odd to not want to be in charge of this, but it was his concern, so I let him take control.

"Carlie, at first I didn't want to come tonight. But your mom said that you and she had spoken about it. Can I ask why you feel the way you do about me being here?"

Score one point for Edward. It was extremely wise to give our daughter this opportunity. I realized it wasn't an intentional strategy on his part, but more a true desire to understand her; it was perfect. Unknowingly…or perhaps deep down inside he just really knew her…he'd started it off in the best possible way.

Pulling her legs up in front of her so that she could rest her chin on them, she contemplated for a moment before she answered. "It's not like you aren't 'together together.' I mean that was obvious from this weekend. If I was going to be insulted because you aren't married and sleeping together, then wouldn't that have already happened?"

Score a point for Carlie. No one had ever claimed that my child was shy, though it made me feel better that they both blushed slightly. Carlie had inherited Edward's brashness, and it was perhaps that very thing that'd helped her deal with our lives.

"Ok, maybe it would be different if you weren't my dad. I don't know, but if we went about this the other way, you'd to be wasting energy being clever in an attempt to maintain an image instead of focusing on whether or not you are going to work this out." She paused, and I knew the look…she was about to cut us open. "It's going to hurt me more if you play around with this. I'd rather you spend the effort figuring out if this is forever, because, if not, we need to move on for all our sakes." She looked almost defiant.

Edward took a deep breath, but my gasp covered up any sound from him.

"Carlie…" I started, but Edward put his hand over mine, asking to speak. When I looked to him, his eyes pleaded with me before he turned back to her.

"Carlie, if it would make you feel better to have this said out loud then I have no problem with that. I want forever with your mother and you. I'm not attempting to force the issue now, because the last few weeks have been a whirlwind for us all, but please don't doubt my intentions. The only thing that would stand in the way of that is if your mother decides that she can't move forward, or if you do. It would still be a logical decision considering the havoc I caused in your lives, but for now here we are, and I mean to make the most of it."

Although, I knew it was how he felt, hearing the words spoken out loud caused a flush to race across my skin and the axis of my world to shift a little. Of course my daughter smirked. She'd been attempting to get that particular elephant in the room discussed, and she was smart enough to have taken this opportunity to achieve her goal.

"And that's why I'm okay with this," she concluded logically and nodded for emphasis. "If I thought it was just a one night stand, I'd be furious. You aren't going to change my perspective on the dangers of early sex by being here. Seth and I already have a plan."

This time Edward did the gasping, and Carlie broke out in laughter seeing the blood drain out of his face. Leaping to her feet, she chuckled and then came forward to kiss her dad's forehead before shrugging at me. "Dad, breathe. Uncle Jake has already had the coronary for you." She held up her hand in front of him and began to list off all the things I'd heard multiple times.

"First, we haven't even kissed yet. I'm saving that for my sweet sixteen birthday party, and I better not hear any growling from either you or Daddy." It was funny to see her refer to both Edward and Jake as Dad, but it fit.

"Second, we're getting married right out of high school, because I'm not going to make going through college without touching him." Edward had the grace to not groan.

"Third, we don't plan on any babies until after college, but again, I want to have kids while I'm still young enough to enjoy them, so medical and law school might be a little interrupted." She looked intently at us before saying, "By the way…tick tock…"

We both froze – score another point for Carlie.

She continued through our floundering. "Fourth, Mama has already offered to buy us condoms or get me on birth control, and I am quite capable of taking her up on that offer if things get heated, and I can't help myself." She glared at me for a moment. "By the way, Dad, I know she's already provided Seth with a condom and has attempted to swear him to silence. But since he has nothing to hide from me, I found it in his wallet."

"HEY!" I started to argue, and she waved her hand at me to be quiet.

Completely unfazed by my outburst, she continued. "And…she changes it out every so often so that it doesn't go bad."

Edward's lips began twitching, and I swore that if he began laughing I was going to kill him. Jake may have threatened them, but knowing the 'stock' our children came from, I didn't think it was a bad thing to be safe.

"Lastly, I'm tired and going to bed. And by the way, Daddy, I sleep with my iPod on. The music helps me fall asleep."

With that, the little terror turned on her foot and made her way self-confidently to her room. Neither Edward nor I moved until we heard the door click shut. It was as if we were soldiers at war, hunkered down in our bunker, waiting to make sure that it was safe before we came out of hiding.

"Well, I think that went well," he croaked, his shock at her wisdom clear in his voice.

But then we looked at each other and burst out laughing. He pulled me across his lap so that he could put his arms around me. Putting his lips to my forehead, he asked, "How did she get so sassy?"

"She takes after you." It seemed logical enough.

I felt his lips curve into a smile. "Uh huh! So the smart part?"

"After me, of course." His chest shook with silent laughter at my repartee. "C'mon, let's get you unpacked," I said, coming to a stand and pulling him up with me. We'd accomplish nothing sitting here marveling at the enigma that was our daughter.

The sound of Carlie's shower was apparent as we walked down the short hallway. We'd left Forks late after having a long lunch, but of course, Jake hadn't been able to pass by the In-and-Out when we neared Seattle. He'd run through the drive through ordering a ton of food before Edward followed. "Man has good taste," he'd said of Jake, chewing into the greasy thing like it was as good as the steaks we'd eaten earlier. I'd always heard that there was no accounting for taste.

I suspected Carlie was planning an early evening of listening to music and doing the homework that she and Seth had put off in order to spend the weekend together. It left Edward and I time to orient ourselves to this new arrangement. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him as we stepped into my room, curious to see his expression.

He scanned the entire area quickly, then I saw him going back to look at specific things…my built in bookshelves that contained my Braille books and some pictures now, my oversized desk and computer, the bed, my chaise lounge that was positioned in front of the window overlooking the small back yard, and my double dresser. It was a fairly large room considering. When we'd redesigned the house, I'd given Carlie the larger of the original rooms, then had the wall between two smaller rooms taken out. We'd added my and Carlie's bathrooms and walk in closets and the result had been two fairly spacious areas for us both. That Edward now stood in the middle of the area looking it over really made me see it. It was warm and simple and uncomplicated. Most of what I'd had before was tactile in nature, having only added a few of the decorative pieces and pictures since I'd regained my sight.

Ironically, he walked over to my computer first, running his fingers along the keys. "Did you write The Swan Song here?"

"Mostly," I answered. "But there were times I did some of it in hotel rooms between my signings for the children's books."

He nodded, taking in the view one more time before moving to the bookshelf. I closed the door behind us and went to join him. "Charlie's ashes," I said of the decorative urn he stood before.

"I figured as much. He would have like this," he said of the Chinese piece I'd acquired many years later. It wasn't a Ming or anything, but I'd had Leslie find me an antique one at an auction. The center piece had Koi fish swimming lazily; I couldn't have chosen better myself.

While he continued to look at the pieces placed on the shelves, my Bose system, and music discs, I picked up my bag and went over to the dresser. Opening the top left hand drawer, I began pulling out clothes. I felt more than heard him come behind me, his arms coming around to each side and caging me in as his fingers gripped the wood of the dresser lip.

"Bella?" His breath was warm on my skin, and it made goose bumps pebble along my skin. Turning around to face him, I groaned to find us pressed up against each other in the most intimate of ways.

"I'm clearing out some space for you. I don't know what you brought, but I'll give you half of this. I can combine my stuff easily…" His lips cut my words off, searing me with heat and taking my breath away.

He lifted me to where I could sit on the wood that pressed against my back, and I pushed blindly at my stacked clothes to move them out of the way, wrapping my legs around his waist, pulling us flush. The moan that tore out of me at the feel of him hard against me was embarrassing. He didn't move though, hands clenched to my hips, his possession of me solely through the claiming of my lips.

But what a possession…

My fingers tore into his hair as I deepened the kiss, swiping my tongue across his lips to demand that he open to me. When he did so, desire overwhelmed me and I became frenzied, pulling at his hair, clothes, and tightening my legs around him in an attempt to relieve the ache between them.

"Love you," he said softly as he pulled away from the frantic kiss just a minute later.

"What was that for?" I panted out, my heart beating embarrassingly fast. That he seemed slightly out of breath as well made me feel marginally better.

"You gave me a drawer, several actually," he said, nuzzling my hairline just above my ear.

Turning to catch his lips lightly again, I said into them, "What would I get if I told you that I gave you space in the closet as well?"

His chuckle was throaty, deep, and raspy. "Wait until I see your shower ,and I'll let you know then. I have to find out if it is large enough," he promised darkly.

When he drew back to look at me, his face was fully flushed with lust and his bright green eyes darkened. My breath whooshed out in expectation; I had a big shower complete with a bench. Jake had insisted in case I ever needed the extra support. I'd repeatedly told him that I was blind not disabled, but right about now, I just wanted to kiss the mutt, thinking about just what that bench could be used for and how much I wanted to already be on it. Edward correctly assessed my look and groaned himself.

"Bella, let's unpack first," he begged.

"Don't want your daughter to see clothes scattered across the floor?" I joked, attempting to reign in the desire that had so quickly taken over. "Or is it a little of your OCD?"

"Both," he chuckled, moving me forward so that I slid down his body to my feet. My eyes rolled into the back of my head at the feel of him pressing against all the right spots as I did so, and it took every ounce of my strength to not attack him right there.

Ironically, it was his OCD that made the arrangement work, as he organized my previously jumbled stuff into orderly combinations. If I felt totally feminine and powerful when I saw his fingers clench around some of the stuff Leslie and Leah had insisted I buy…well, I took it as my due. The man drove me insane, always had, so I would take my victories where I could.

"What's in the bag?" I asked when we put our shoes in the closet.

"A couple of suits. I have to go into the office tomorrow. Perhaps you would join me and we could go to lunch?" he asked gently.

I was going to have to trust that he wasn't putting me into one of those situations that I'd wanted to avoid.

"Bella…you would be the first woman to accompany me to the office." So he'd guessed my thoughts. I looked up and caught him watching me intently. "I can't always read what you're thinking, but the concern was written all over your face."

"Okay. I'd like that," I agreed, wondering just how many would remember me from the other times I'd traipsed through the hallways. Carlisle's hastily spoken words, "This is my daughter and the mother of my granddaughter" rushed through my mind. I was certain those had spread like wildfire in an office setting. At least this time I'd be able to see their reactions to me.

"After lunch, do you think we could go talk to Alice?"

If I'd thought I'd made him happy before, he practically exploded in pleasure then. Grabbing me by the arms, he pulled me into his embrace, twirling me around several times before he set me down. "I think we can definitely do that. I'll watch Alistair and Jasmine so that the two of you can talk. Let me call her and let her know to expect us."

He had his phone out of his jeans pocket so quick that it practically looked like a blur of motion. I heard her shrill squeal when he proposed our visit.

"I think that is a yes?" I teased.

Having jerked the phone away from his head, he smirked. "Uh…Yeah."

"DON'T EAT LUNCH OUT!" she screamed out, and he put the cell back to his ear. "Ali, let me bring it in. Seriously… No! I'm not trying to ruin it. Ali…"

I could hear her fussing at him. "You're losing, Edward. We can eat there," I proposed a truce to their argument, really not caring where we did have lunch.

_Are you sure,_ he mouthed.

"Yes." I laid my hand on his arm, letting him know that I was being sincere.

"Okay. We'll be there around noon, but I'll call you if we're going to be delayed."

Crisis averted, I turned and put the final stack of his clothing into the top drawer as he finished up the call. Unpacking accomplished, I stowed the bags together in the corner of my closet and then turned back to face him. He watched me intently, as if he was unsure of what to do next. I had an idea. Grinning, I reached down and pulled my long sleeved t-shirt up and over my head, watching his pupils dilate even further as I unsnapped my jeans and push them down over my hips, toeing off my Vans at the same time.

"Hey, I should tell you…my shower is extremely large and has a bench…" I squeaked as he picked me up, throwing me over his shoulder. My second squeak was louder when he turned his head and nipped my butt on the way, but my bathroom brought him to a standstill.

"Wow," he said when he crossed the threshold, setting me down to look around but keeping his hands on my hips, his fingertips tracing patterns across my skin.

A large glass enclosed shower, similar to the one he'd constructed in Forks, dominated the left hand corner of the room; a comparably sized marble tub occupied the spot in front of a large plate glass window to the left. A double sink and the single door leading to the toilet room took up the rest. The floor was heated tile, and like my room, the colors were soft mixtures of roses, pale greens, and the neutral colors of the floor. Leah and Carlie had picked it all out. I still wasn't sure if it fit me though and felt it might be the time to make a change. It would be good to get Edward's input, making it a space for him and me both.

"Very nice," he murmured before reaching around to unfasten my bra. His eyes widened when it dropped to the floor. "But not exquisite. There are only so many things in life that are that," he said, brushing his fingertips across the tops of my breasts. "Absolutely mesmerizing," he murmured just a second later as my panties joined the bra on the tile floor.

I disagreed. What was absolutely mesmerizing was the feel of his mouth against me and the sight of his water darkened hair between my thighs as I slumped against the wall, barely remaining on the ledge of the bench as his tongue tortured me. When he gently pushed two fingers into me, curving them forward to hit my spot, I came apart, yelping into the space around us as he devoured me, pushing me hard through the orgasm. Still boneless, I could barely stand when he pulled me up and then turned me around. Placing his hand between my shoulder blades, he pushed my chest downward so that my elbows came to rest where I'd been sitting. It left my butt high in the air, my legs widely spread.

"So perfect…the sight of you spread for me," he murmured, smoothing his hand across my hips and down the top of my thighs. He feathered his fingertips across my butt and then nipped me slightly just at the base of my spine.

Oh God! This was one of my favorite positions, and I could still remember my shock from when a youthful Edward had talked me into it. It made me unbearably tight and the feelings had been almost overpowering as he took me. A sob tore out of me when his fingertips continued their exploration, brushing between my legs and over the sensitive places his lips had just ravaged.

"Tell me what you want, Bella…" he taunted while I squirmed beneath his caresses and the feel of the water from the shower pelting down on my back.

"You!" I barely forced out. My breasts were pressed against the cooler tile, and the contrast of being caught between hot and cold and his soft, sensual caresses already had me throbbing again.

"No…say it, Bella," he murmured against my back, then disappeared.

The next thing I knew, I felt the torture of water being directed against my clit. "Edward!" I barked out and had to bite my lip to keep from coming again. He'd pulled the showerhead down and artfully turned it to and fro, torturing me.

"Yes, love?"

"I need your cock inside me. Right! Now!" I begged, and then grunted inelegantly as I felt his tip brush against me.

He slid against me, purposefully avoiding moving into me before reaching down to pull at one of my arms. He placed the showerhead in my hand, nudging me to place the stream against myself, but my thoughts scattered when he drove deep into me, stretching me and completing me all at the same time.

"Fuck…" The word tore from me.

"Oh…I plan to," he murmured in dark promise, and the shower head was forgotten, dropped onto the floor as I threw my hands up to brace against the wall after his first thrust.

He was almost demonic in the way he worked me, slamming into me over and over again, building the pressure to only back off just as I was about to lose myself again. It was exquisite torture…the push of him against me as I attempted to hold my stance. I begged and pleaded, but to no avail as he drove me insane with pleasure, but when my legs began to shake and my arms tremble, he took pity, letting the lust peak and hang for a few sharp seconds before twisting against me and sending me spiraling out of control. I heard his distinct growl as he tensed behind me, drawing in and out as he swore out my name in between words of love. He fell against my back, bracing his hands just beside mine.

I was a lush…and life was good. Really good, I thought as the hedonistic pleasure of what had just occurred continued to roll over me.

"Next time you're on the bench, and I get to have my way with you," I claimed the privilege now, before he thought to sway me.

He rose and pulled me up at the same time. Turning me to him, he nipped at my lips. "The image of your lips wrapped around me…" he shuddered "…is fucking perfect." Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. "Let me," he finally said, reaching for the shampoo.

I didn't know what made me feel more cherished: the mind blowing sex and his words of love and lust during it, or the gentle way he washed my hair and care took me. When I laid my head down on his shoulder, my hair carefully dried and brushed by him, I decided it just didn't matter.

That night as I lay in his arms, I dreamed. In my dream, I saw two copper-haired toddlers…twins. They ran through Edward's meadow, their gurgling laughter ringing out in peals as butterflies danced over vibrant flowers and the white puffy flowers from dandelions flew into the air in their wake. They held hands as they raced across the space and then Carlie came into view chasing them. She called out something I couldn't hear, but whatever she said caused their laughter and giggling to get louder. When she caught up to them, they tumbled into a grouping of wildflowers, Carlie wrapping them in her arms to cushion the fall. They ended up on their backs…the two toddlers to each side of Carlie resting their heads on her arms while they looked up at the sky. The boy was Edward all over, down to the twinkling green eyes and smirking lips I so loved. The girl was identical, except that she had my eyes. Then, as Carlie and the boy were distracted by something to the side of them, the girl child turned to look at me with a secretive look buried in the chocolate depths.

**I want to take a moment to thank each and every reader, of this story, ****who has taken the moments to leave me their thoughts. ****They mean so much – you'll never know****. ****An author's admission, I have struggled in this last week as to how to bring this story to the end. I've had an outline, but it seems that many are beginning to wane in interest, and I'm being encouraged by outside sources to drop many of the unresolved mini-stories, wrap it up, and start an original fic. I made a promise to finish this story and I like to stand by my promises. So for those of you, who are interested, I've redesigned the next few chapters so that I can bring you the ending I promised. I do hope you'll enjoy, and as always, if you are still reading, I would love to know what you think.**


	67. Forgiveness

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

**I want to thank each and every one of you for your comments about the last chapter. So many of you responded negatively against my shortened version, that I sat down with my beta and worked out a plan to finish the story in a fashion more like what I'd originally planned. I have two future chapters and two outtakes already to the betas and plan to put my other stories on slight pause to focus on finishing this out. I have to admit that hearing from so many readers that they didn't want the story shortened really refueled my desire to finish it as originally planned. I hope you find it enjoyable, and I plan to stick to my weekly updates. **

**One comment about this chapter. One of my betas had forgotten about Alice's outtake, and the information she'd shared during it. I suggest if you don't remember the outtake where Alice woke up from a nightmare (Chapter 49 on Fan Fiction) that you revisit it. **

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

The smell of coffee woke me up, and I stretched indolently, reaching for Edward even as I stirred. I lunged up having felt the bed cold beside me; a panic that it might all have been a dream forcing me instantaneously awake.

_Calm down, Bella. _I thought as I saw the rumpled sheets.

Then I rolled over into his pillow to smell him. But I couldn't, at that moment, tell which smelt better, him or the coffee. It was early morning, so the coffee was winning by a slight margin; last night…well there would have been no contest. Sitting up, I grinned seeing the mug sitting on the bedside table. The hinge on the lid had been pushed back just far enough to let the enticing aroma escape. Balanced across the top of the mug was a single red rose surrounded by sprigs of freesia. They were tied together simply with a ribbon. For the barest of moments, I wondered where he'd gotten the flowers, but for all I knew he had someone deliver it to the house this morning…I wouldn't put it past him.

Inordinately honored by whatever scheme he'd accomplished, I sniffed the fragrances of the flowers for a moment before turning my attention to the lifesaving liquid they'd graced. Black and strong, the caffeine immediately started my blood moving as I gulped it greedily down. From the crack in the door, I heard noises coming down the hallway. Looking over to see the time, I hurried to throw on my robe. Then picking up my glasses, I brushed my hair from my face as I rushed to see Carlie before she had to go to school. I might usually be a zombie in the morning, but I never failed to at least glare at her over breakfast. She found it highly amusing that the phrase 'Good Morning' was a blasphemy to me.

"Good morning," Edward said as I turned the corner into the kitchen, reaching out to take my cup, pop off the lid, and pour in more coffee. He kissed my forehead quickly and placed the cup back in my hand before turning back to the omelets he was making.

It had happened so fast that I didn't have time to blink. From the table, Carlie watched the spectacle, a grin on her face. 'Good Morning' she mouthed, trying not to break out in a fit of giggles because I hadn't bitten Edward's head off at the curse words. Sticking my tongue out at her was probably not the most mature thing to do, but it happened anyway.

Usually, Carlie fixed something quick like cereal or a bagel with fruit, but I had to say that even my stomach took notice of the smell of eggs and ham. I started to feel human about half way through the second dose of caffeine and snagged a piece of melon from Carlie's bowl as she ate.

"Hey!" she mumbled around a grape, but like magic a bowl of strawberries, grapes, and cantaloupe appeared under my nose. She snagged a piece of my cantaloupe to repay her stolen treasure, and I wrapped my hand around what I had to keep it safe. We were like two lionesses protecting our kill.

When I heard Edward open the microwave, I realized he'd used it to keep more omelets warm. Then balancing the plate and a jug of orange juice, he finally came to the table, setting them down to return to the kitchen for his cup. He only sat in the chair at the head of the table after he served us both fluffy omelets laced with ham. Breakfast eater or not, I wasn't passing them up.

"I've already said a blessing, Mama. I couldn't wait for the fruit," she indicated of the empty bowl.

Slicing a piece of the omelet and putting it into my mouth, I groaned as the taste, closing my eyes to enjoy it. When I opened them, it was to find Edward watching me closely, a look of humor on his face. So what if I enjoyed his food almost as much as I did him and the things he could do to me. I wrinkled my nose at him, and he smirked at my look as if he'd read my mind.

"Your mom has never been a morning person," he addressed Carlie.

"That's an understatement," she quipped back, and they launched into a discussion, allowing me to slowly restore sanity to my world.

With Edward's arm around my shoulder, we watched her load up into the Suburban with Seth and Jacob, receiving a quick wave goodbye as they pulled out of the driveway.

"You have raised an amazing daughter, Bella. I am so proud of you and her. I know I had nothing to do with how she has turned out, but I can't help but feel that way."

I smiled at the compliment, but couldn't take all the credit. "Jacob and Leah have been as big a part of her as I have."

"Yeah, they have."

"What time do you have to be at the office?" I asked as we walked back into the kitchen to clean up.

"Not until around 10. I have to review a proposal regarding our charitable organization, and then I have a meeting with one of the recipients." He took my hand to lead me over to sit in one of the kitchen chairs so that we faced one another. "After talking to Carlie last night, I thought about my work schedule at the hospital. Dad hired another ER doctor in my absence. She's hungry for work and experience, so what I've heard is that she is making quite a name for herself already. I worked the night and holiday shifts because…well…it gave the other doctors time off to be with their families. But I have other priorities now.

"I'm going to speak with Dad about going back part-time soon, because not working would drive me crazy. I like the ER too much…" he shook his head "…Yes! I know what that says about me, but I love the challenge of not knowing what is coming through the door next." When he chuckled, it was contagious, and I couldn't help but grin at how boyish he looked when he did it. "Anyhow, I'm going to see if there is space on the day shift so that I can be home with you and Carlie in the evenings, to help with homework and to have the weekends free. Is that okay with you?"

"Of course! My schedule is at my whim…well until I finish up a book, and then it is up to Leslie. I'm doing the final wrap up on one now. It's a little different for me. The publishing firm wanted me to test the waters in the young adult section, so I've been working on something completely new."

"Tell me," he said in excitement.

Wow, the thought he would be around to discuss ideas startled me a little. I'd done it with Carlie in the past, but I knew that it would be different with him…he was such an analytical being. It scared and excited me all at the same time.

"Tell you what…let me finish it, and I'll let you read the rough draft. You can be my first pre-reader, okay?"

His answer was to pick up my hand and place a kiss to my palm. I couldn't help that my hand curved around the side of his face, cupping part of his chin, jawline, and cheek. "I love you." The words burst out of me, the freedom to just say them so sweet.

"God! I love you, too, Bella," he responded, pulling me off of my chair and into his arms for a simple, emotion-laden hug.

~SOMP~

"Wow!"

It was the only word I could manage when he came out of the bathroom adjusting his tie. Edward in dark grey suit pants and a blue shirt was deadly. That he stopped to look at me in the same way was a huge boost to my ego.

I'd packed comfortable clothes for us to change into at Alice's, but to brave the world of Cullen, Inc., I'd gone for a pencil skirt, heels, and a silk blouse. I had to hold my hand up to stop him, the dark of his eyes telling me exactly what he wanted to do.

"We only have 30 minutes to get there," I warned. His growl of dissatisfaction was entirely satisfying.

"Wear those shoes tonight," he begged, his eyes glued to the heels. "And please tell me those stockings are being held up by garters."

Biting my lip, I smiled seductively. "Blue ones."

He took another step and then froze. "You are going to kill me," he swore.

"You'll die with a happy face," I snarked.

"Well then…that would be the way to go," he joked back and reached for his suit jacket.

I'd teased him as we'd cleaned the kitchen up, and then as he got into the shower after me, but we'd kept from making love. The sexual tension was going to kill me, but I thought of the night and how I would be able to take advantage of him. A myriad of scenarios tore through my mind as he guided us through light traffic toward downtown.

Mrs. Brown, Edward's assistant, was a pleasure. He'd taken me straight up to his office and then introduced us.

"Why don't I show you around, dear, while he goes over the piles I've left on his desk?" she beamed, unable to keep a smile off her face as she looked between Edward and me.

That Edward watched me carefully answered my question. He wanted me to feel totally comfortable in the building, and he had to know my reservations. Mrs. Brown escorting me throughout the office would send a clear message to all involved. I wasn't ignorant of corporate America. I'd been in and around my publishing firm enough times to know how gossip traveled.

"I'd like that," I said quietly, knowing that she wanted to ask me a million questions, but wouldn't. She seemed to mother Edward, which I found amusing.

"Come back soon. I'd like to get your input into this…" he motioned through the door to his desk. "The representative from the Children's Hospital should be here within thirty minutes."

"Okay," I agreed and then on a whim reached out to grab his immaculate tie and pull him forward for a kiss.

He didn't even straighten the tie or his slightly rumpled hair as we walked away, and I grinned because of it. Mrs. Brown seemed as pleased as I was, but when she caught me looking at her, she looked down as if she didn't want to get caught.

"I like messing with his orderly world," I explained on a whim.

"Oh God, I'm going to love you," she whispered as we stepped onto the elevator, set to brave my travels through the world of corporate intrigue.

~SOMP~

"So, Esme generally manages the company events?" I asked as we stepped back into the office. We'd made the tour, and I had to admit to being impressed…not only with the organization, but in how she'd managed my introductions. _"This is Isabella, Anthony's friend." _

Such simple words, but I'd seen the looks and heard the buzzing as soon as we left. I was firmly and adeptly established through Mrs. Brown's manipulations.

"Yes, she is the master creator," she answered my question. But I was distracted by the voices I heard from inside Edward's office.

I tried not to freeze entirely when I walked to the door. A blond…no a gorgeous, attractive, built like a model blond…leaned over Edward's desk, her cleavage all but thrust into his face as she pointed out something on the paper. To his credit, he was thoroughly engaged in whatever there was on the document, but I felt the flush of 'bitch' rise within me. I must have made some noise because he glanced up and when he saw me, his face lightened, his smile brilliant. Just like with Elizabeth, he was clueless to how bad it looked.

"Bella! Come in," he said, making to rise. It was then he noticed just how close she was. It was almost mesmerizing to watch the blank look on his face take over. It was the same one I'd seen in the pictures I'd secretly looked up on the computer, wanting to see some of the other women in a perverse form of torture. He stepped back from her.

At least the blond was wise. She backed off, her eyes jumping around in guilt. I could take her, I realized, looking at her scrawny arms. If I could lay Jacob out flat, she would be a mere warm-up. She jerked when she caught the savage satisfaction in my face and backed up even farther. All it had taken from me was an arched eyebrow.

Clueless of our silent war, Edward introduced us. "Ms. James. This is Bella Swan, my girlfriend. Bella, Ms. James of Children's Hospital." He motioned me over. "Love, come see what you think."

And with that, I broke through the instantaneous and unwarranted jealousy. He'd never given the situation a thought, his conscience clear. It was enough for me.

~SOMP~

"So, you would build a home for families to stay in when their kids come into the hospital for treatment."

"Yes, that is her proposal; it would be similar to the Ronald McDonald houses across the country. It isn't a unique idea, but she is right, many of their families are in desperate need of help. Their clientele are some of the neediest and sickest children in the Pacific Northwest."

"What would be the cost?" I asked as we rode down the elevator, having said our goodbyes to Mrs. Brown.

"The way she has proposed it…a million, maybe."

"And…" I could hear the "but" in his voice.

"She has focused on raising finances for a single home, but it would seem that it could be more beneficial to build a retreat with small cottages. It would house more families, boost the construction trade in town, and possibly help multiple hospitals. They are the biggest children's hospital in Seattle, but not the only one that treats kids. Look at Samantha. If her family had actually been that…a family…where would they have stayed?"

We stopped the conversation long enough for him to help me in my car, and it gave me time to think about what he was contemplating.

"You are thinking of something that would be available for all families, regardless of what hospital is treating them," I guessed.

Grinning, he cut his eyes over toward me. "Yeah."

"So your concerns?"

"Land. There aren't many places in Seattle proper big enough for such a proposal that are still close enough to the hospitals. Well not without costing five times as much as the buildings we would erect."

"I know the idea is to recreate a homey atmosphere as much as possible, but what about an apartment complex. You could build a nice outdoor play area, and it would give you more units. And maybe to satisfy Ms. James, you could allot certain percentages of the space to each hospital…I don't know, maybe the floors or something. There has to be a lot of old apartment complexes downtown just ripe for renovation."

He actually pulled over into a parking lot, his attention fully on me. "Bella! That is brilliant!" He grabbed my hands and squeezed gently, and I felt his hum of excitement. "Mom will most likely know just the places…perhaps an old industrial building that can be retrofitted. I'll speak with her and Dad about it."

"I have logical thoughts once in a while," I teased, and then something occurred to me. "Speaking of logical, exactly how did you get to be placed in charge of the charitable side of the business? I would've thought that Alice would jump at that opportunity."

"I asked to head it up and arrange everything."

"Okay…" My confusion was clear.

Without any hesitation, he explained. "It was my birthday gift to you each year. We accept applications from June until August, and then in September a number of individuals selected by a committee were chosen to come and present their petitions. The family decides by vote as to which ones to fund."

"And…" I was delighted, not by the fact he'd done this for me, but because he wasn't hesitating anymore. It would seem that the cautious Edward was gone. I knew there was more that needed to be said, and I wanted him to admit it to me.

"I've always chosen one to specifically fund myself." He grimaced. "This year, it was a specific unit at another hospital, because Alice kicked me during the presentation and I made a fool of myself. I had to cover because Mom was glaring at me." He barked out in laughter. "That was just minutes before our daughter stormed the doors and changed my life irrevocably." His smile was much more relaxed with that admission.

I started laughing at him. "Why was that so hard to confess?" I challenged.

He broke out into uncontrollable laughter then. "Love…getting you to accept a present is harder than passing an act of congress."

I huffed at him, but then grinned in acceptance. It was true. "But you gave gifts to others in my name or at least spirit, that I can accept," I rebutted.

"Well, like it or not, you are going to have to get used to gifts." He said it in a manner that told me I wouldn't win that argument anymore.

"I was able to accept Emmett's gift, so I can't be that bad," I defended myself rashly.

"Emmett's gift?" he asked, totally confused.

Damn it! Emmett hadn't told him, and now I'd dug myself a hole. "Um…nothing."

"Isabella Swan!" he growled, shutting off the car to show me we were going nowhere until I spilled.

Damn it! Damn it! I was screwed. "Look, ask Emmett."

"I'm asking you." Now he turned to face me in the seat, settling in for a long stay. Suddenly, I wanted the not so sure Edward back. It would've been certainly easier to manipulate him.

"Emmett funneled money my way…right after my dad died. I thought it was Charlie's insurance money…and some of it was, but Emmett found a way to add to it without anyone knowing." I said it all in a rush, knowing I wasn't getting out of the conversation and afraid of how he was going to react.

He remained totally still, but it could see the wheels turning in his mind. Finally he spoke. "The money he lost in the investment scheme…"

"Yeah."

A minute more of calculation and acceptance. "How did you find out?"

"I figured it out while you were in the hospital. He was smart enough not to lie to me, although he did at least attempt to bluff his way out of it. And I was stupid enough to offer to pay him back. Chapped his ass that I did…" I left off remembering how insulted Emmett had been.

"Did he know where you were?" His eyes were tortured for a moment.

"No. He said he was too scared to."

He remained silent for awhile longer, thinking through what I'd told him. Finally, he said, "He would have come and gotten you, Bella."

"I know." There'd never been a doubt.

"Damn!" he snorted. A myriad of emotions flew across his face, before acceptance settled around him. "My brother defies logic sometimes. He is an amazing man."

"He is." I knew this wasn't over. Edward and Emmett would have a very private discussion I guessed. One I might never know about.

~SOMP~

Edward didn't even knock as he walked into Alice's and Jasper's house. We could hear the kids' voices and they led us to where Alice sat in the large living room floor with Jasmine and Alistair.

"Uncle Edward!" they screeched upon seeing us, running to grab around his legs.

"Umph…" he mocked as if they'd knocked the breath out of him, to which they giggled. He then rumpled their hair, bending down to kiss Jasmine and check out Alistair's arm muscles.

It was a heartwarming scene, but one ruined by my stomach growling at the smell of lasagna that permeated the house. Of course Alistair would be the one to notice. Breaking from Edward, the young gentleman came over to take my hand. His smile was a killer, and I didn't, in that moment, envy Alice and Jasper when he reached his teenage years. With his charm, there were going to be many broken hearts.

"I'm hungry too, Ms. Bella. Mama was making us wait until you got here!" He tugged my hand impatiently, urging us toward the kitchen. Ah…but for now, he was all boy…ruled by his stomach.

Alice shook her head at him, but it was a useless admonishment. Lunch turned into a lively affair, with Alistair and Jasmine providing much of the entertainment. I wasn't surprised, though, when Edward offered for him and the kids to clean up. He excused himself long enough to change, and I followed him to the downstairs guest bedroom to do the same. Alice met us in the hallway and without thought I reached out for her hand. Her grin was broad as she pulled me toward the opposite end of the house; much like her son had pulled me to lunch.

"Bells, I want you to see something. You have to give me your honest opinion, though. You won't hurt my feelings, I promise."

Her sincerity and hesitancy relayed the importance of this to me. "Okay, but I'm sure whatever it is, it'll be great."

Opening the door before us, she pulled me into a wonderland. Paintings of flowers and landscapes were interspersed with portraits of the family. It was a bright room, aided by the multiple windows looking out toward the Sound. The sunlight reflected over the dizzying colors of the multiple paintings, almost overwhelming the senses. It was a lot to take in at first glance, but I walked further into the room and decided on a starting point. Taking in the river scene before me, I made my way slowly through the room, reflecting on the masterpieces. On the second preview, I saw the covered piece on a stand next to a well used easel. Alice had come to rest beside it while I'd silently admired her creations.

She was extremely talented. Good enough to have her skills showcased. But being the focal point of such attention would be the last thing she'd want, no matter how much her talent screamed to be seen.

"I have something for you," she said, standing stoically beside the covered piece.

"You painted something for me?"

"Yes." She grinned softly. "My therapist encouraged me many years ago to find an outlet for my emotions. I think the idea was to find a way to rid myself of the demons, and I'll admit that my first pictures were pretty dark." She laughed softly, and I saw a faraway look come into her eyes as if she was remembering something important. Then as if the ghost was gone, she focused back on me. "Whether it is right or wrong, Jasper was my salvation, Bella. He's banished my darkness in a way that my therapist never could. Well…I guess that isn't fair. It was the combination of the two of them…his love and her tenaciousness."

Turning to look back at the wall behind me I was overwhelmed by the flow of love and light that permeated the pictures she'd created. There was no darkness now.

"Alice, are you okay? After the shooting I mean?" I couldn't imagine killing another person, although I was very aware that I would do it in a heartbeat if I thought someone threatened my family. So perhaps I understood Alice more than I thought.

She remained quiet for a minute, causing me to turn back to her. "Yes," she answered softly. "I actually called my old therapist afterward and made an appointment with her. I haven't seen her in years, but she'd heard about what happened. Do you know what her first question was of me?"

Clueless, I shrugged.

"'Alice, did your hand shake when you shot him?'" She mimicked and then chuckled at my stunned expression. "I know. Of all the questions, she wanted to know if my hand shook. And I couldn't tell her, because I didn't remember. I had to ask Rose, and she described me as being as cool as a cucumber. So when I went back and told Dr. Anne, she dismissed me from coming back. Simple as that. 'Little Alice if you could face your rapist without emotion overwhelming you…you're healthier than most.'" She shook her head. "I'm not so sure there was anything noble about it, because all I wanted to do was end his terror over us. He was going to kill Edward; he wouldn't have stopped before he could accomplish that. I wasn't losing my brother or anyone else. I just wanted it all to stop."

"Alice, did you feel the least bit of vindication? Any at all?"

For a moment, she looked fierce. "Yes. I'm human enough to admit that. But what I feel and remember is overshadowed by what happened that day. He would've destroyed us, so I don't feel guilty, Bella. Maybe I should, but I don't…and just maybe that makes me a monster, but if so then I can live with that. I still have nightmares, and I can accept I probably always will. I can't do anything more to heal what happened then but allow time to heal whatever wounds are left.

"However, I know I have to do something to deal with what happened between you and me." She then pulled the cover off of the picture, and I couldn't help but gasp.

It was me, gazing out passionately from a pile of books. The setting seemed to be a library of sorts, but it was cleverly done in a way that left you guessing. It could've been an office of a bookworm or a bedroom of an overworked writer; all that was apparent was that I was quite content sitting in the midst of the literary disorder. Some of my favorite books lay out in view, positioned haphazardly on a seat I hadn't used, a side table, and propped on the shelves behind me. I wore a dress that was ageless, the lace across my chest displaying cleavage and following through to leave my shoulders bare, the flowing sleeves coming to rest loosely across my hands. My hair hung in loose waves around me. The dark blue of the velvet was rich, shining incandescently in the light coming from my left hand side. The portrait was done in a way that I could have been anything between a maiden of the Middle Ages to a modern woman enjoying her private study while the husband took the kids out for the day. It was amazing, and I looked absolutely gorgeous in it.

"Alice!" I cried out, coming to stand before the large portrait, my fingers itching to touch it, to pick up the books scattered around me. "When in the world did you have time to do this?" I whispered, my voice full of emotion. This was a work of patience and dedication, not something that had been thrown together in the last few weeks.

"I've been working on it for years…" she admitted in a small voice, looking at me from under her eyelashes.

"What?!" I turned, catching her solemn gaze.

"…to give to Edward. I had hoped that it would break him…break through the shell he'd built around him enough to at least let us search you out."

"Alice, I don't mean to be rude, but if it really meant that much to you, why didn't you just come find me yourself?" It was hard to face the unhappiness on her face, so I turned back to the portrait. Something about my eyes kept drawing me back. I couldn't define what it was, but my eyes called to me to do something…

"Bella, I'm the one responsible for the mess, not Edward," she said softly. The pain this time was unavoidable, and my gaze was drawn back to her. As huge tears gathered in her eyes, she twisted her hands together. "He wouldn't have believed any of it if I hadn't convinced him." The sunshine from outside shifted and a stray beam streaked through the window and over her, highlight the porcelain of her skin…and the deep, dark shadows below her eyes. It made her look otherworldly and tired.

"Alice, just tell me."

"He didn't believe any of it, even when Tanya argued so convincing. He just couldn't accept the lies about you. But I did. It was wrong, and I still can't explain why I failed you. There is no excuse, and I realized that long ago." She moved to stand beside me, looking at the portrait.

"You were raped and mutilated by someone the family trusted. You thought I'd betrayed you. I've seen the pictures now, Alice. They were convincing…damning evidence against me that would be difficult to explain."

"Not good enough," she whispered in a calm manner. "Not good enough at all. But I can't fix what I did then, other than to tell you that I wished I could. It was my words, not hers that changed Edward's mind and led him to betray you."

What?!

She faced me again. "He ignored her. And his dedication to you fueled the fire. She was ruthless Bella. And I fell prey to it. I don't blame Tanya, because I should have known better. If I could have kept my emotion in control…or at least kept my mouth shut, we wouldn't be here. You and he would have married, gone on to college, had more babies, and lived your life together. He wouldn't have existed as half a man for so long, and you wouldn't have had to raise Carlie alone. My mom and dad wouldn't have had to watch him attempt to destroy his soul.

"Bella, I know you thought I was your friend, but I've realized something over the years. I wasn't. I was too stuck in my horrors to really have more than superficial relationships. I wasn't capable of friendship then, but I am now. That is what I want from you…the opportunity to really be a friend and to build something from what we did have…which I think was special and could have been something meaningful, if I'd been capable of it.

"I am so sorry, Bella. It doesn't right my wrongs, but I am so utterly sorry." She turned back to the portrait. "Over the years, when I could find enough strength to pick up the paint brush and work on this, I drew you as I hoped to one day find you…with forgiveness in your eyes. I _couldn't_ come to you first. He deserved your forgiveness before I did."

That was it…forgiveness. That was what had brought my eyes to life in the portrait, what had made them so warm. Did it make a difference to me that Alice had been the one? It did, in some small way…to know that it wasn't Tanya that'd convinced Edward, but the sister he loved beyond reason and protected as a fierce lion. The sister he trusted with his life, not the girl that twisted everything.

Forgiveness…

I was in an untenable situation, if you really thought about it. I knew that many people would think I was a fool for forgiving them; they'd say that I was just setting myself up to be hurt again. What was that saying? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Others would call me a saint if I found it within me to let go of the past hurts and risk love, hope, and trust again.

Fool or Saint?

There was no winning for me in other's opinions, because there would always be differing ones. Jake and Leah trusted me to make the right decision, and they were going to support me through it. My daughter was eager to be a part of their lives, but if I couldn't, she would respect that. What did I care about what anyone else thought? What really mattered was what I wanted and needed, not what anyone thought about my relationship and my capacity to forgive.

I either decided to reach out for happiness with Alice like I had Edward, or I needed to close that door.

"Alice, the painting is amazing…" I turned to her, away from the portrait she'd dedicated so many hours to…the portrait that was a labor of love from a truly repentant heart.

"It's yours. I want you and Edward to have it," she said quickly, interrupting me, and making my heart swell at her generosity.

It was a peace offering, I realized. So I continued, "…and I already told you at the hospital that I'm done being angry."

"But can you forgive me, or at least begin to?" she squeaked softly.

"Yes!" I reached over and squeezed her hand. "I already have."

Edward found us an hour later, leaning against each other as we sat on the small settee, sobbing and laughing and giggling as we reminisced and talked about all the things we'd missed. Alice was wrong about one thing, she'd been my friend and knew me in ways that no one other than Jake and Leah had. But now wasn't the time to argue that with her. We had the rest of our lives for her to discover just how much she'd meant to me and for us to forge this new relationship we both wanted.

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><p><strong>Thoughts? Criticisms (constructive)? Compliments! ;)<strong>

**For those of my readers in the states, hope you are having a great holiday weekend. My friend, Jakeward, and I are going to see Cosmopolis tomorrow for a holiday celebration. It will be my second time seeing it, and her first. I AM SO EXCITED!**


	68. Bless Your Heart

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

**This is just a little outtake for mid-week, and is totally unbetaed, so don't blame any of the wonderful ladies above!**

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><p><strong>Alice POV<strong>

"Ali? Where are you?" Jasper called out, his voice carrying throughout the house.

"In here!" Putting the last touch on the face I was working on, I looked around the edge of my canvas to watch the doorway.

He'd come home early to check on me, knowing just how important lunch had been. Within just a second he appeared, the smile that graced his face at seeing me behind the easel was extremely sexy, and it distracted me immediately. Wiping off the paint brush that I was using, I stuck it into the water jar, figuring I'd clean everything later.

"Where are the kids?" he asked softly as he removed his suit jacket and tie, loosening the buttons at the top of his shirt and then his cuffs. Jasper's military background had drilled into him the need to be 'properly' dressed, but he was much more comfortable in jeans and t-shirts than anything else. Watching him shed the persona of a proper business man to transform into my Jasper was a daily ritual I enjoyed. Although…there was definitely something to be said about the man in a suit.

"They just went down for a nap. We're meeting Edward and Bella for dinner later, so I wanted them to be rested up." The undershirt came off and the play of muscles across his chest fascinated me. "If you're going to strip, which I'm all for, throw your clothes across the chair. You can wear those again tonight."

He arched his eyebrow at me in mischievousness, turning to shut the door and lock it before placing everything across one of my chairs in an orderly fashion. He had me at the locking door bit, but when his hands went to the button of his pants, I began squirming on my stool.

Oh God…

The blood racing through my body made me dizzy.

Toeing off his shoes and socks, he stalked toward me from across the room, clad only in form fitting boxers. The man was sex incarnate. There was no other appropriate way to describe him. When he stood in front of me, his hands lacing through my hair to pull my lips to his, I dodged his efforts. Instead, I bent slightly to place them to his stomach. He gasped as I traveled lowered, and his moans, when I maneuvered us to the floor and wrapped my lips around him, were my fuel. He was a generous lover, and I knew that he would be repaying in kind. Yes, I'd be begging him and calling out his name in desire soon, but for now I wanted to put my good mood to use.

~SOMP~

"So…" he murmured and then grinned against my breast where he'd come to rest after draining me of every ounce of energy I had "…judging by your playfulness, I assume today went well with Bella?"

I stretched a little, still enjoying the fruits of my labor…well, not that giving him a blow job was labor. "Uh, huh!"

He leaned up and looked around the room and then correctly noted the difference. "Your painting is gone."

"It is," I chirped in happiness.

It was then that he moved back over me so that he could gaze down in my face. "You're killing me, Ali. Tell me!"

"She's willing for us to be friends! To try!" I squealed, closing my eyes at the pleasure that washed over me at the thought.

"Ali, I told you that she would. You worry too much." He moved so that he could use one of his thumbs to brush over my cheekbones. "Her heart and yours are both as big as the moon. I knew when you finally had a chance to talk that it would all work itself out."

Grinning up at him, I exploded in laughter, rolling him over onto his back so that I straddled his legs. When he felt my hands smoothing over him, he stretched out sensually like a fat lazy cat, his muscles rippling under the brush of my fingertips. When he'd entered the room, I'd gotten distracted after dipping the brush and had forgotten to wipe my hands, so there were splotches of two vivid blue handprints on his hips…right where I'd held him as I took him into my mouth. Tracing them, I smiled looking back over him again. My own personal god…he was the epitome of masculine beauty.

"You look good in war paint, Jazz." Tickling my fingers over him, I traced several paths where I could use him as a canvas. "Let me?" I begged.

"What?"

"Paint you."

"Like this?" he asked in a suddenly horrified voice, no longer relaxed and instinctually looking for some clothing.

I couldn't help but chuckle; to be such a demon in bed, Jasper was a surprisingly reserved individual. But the idea of painting him naked did have great appeal to me. Hm…_that_ was a portrait that would only grace my private sanctum; however, that was for another day.

"No, like this," I said, reaching up to get my palette and swirling my fingers through the red.

Drawing a perfect red heart just above his, I smoothed the color in gently. "My heart… It was yours the moment I saw you. You protect it every day, and within that shelter it has flourished."

Swirling more of the red onto my finger, I used my other hand to acquire some blue. With both, I mixed the colors in an angled purple lines radiating out from both sides of his breast bone. "Honor…you gave it to me by convincing me that I could have it as well. To watch you with our children and to be the recipient of your esteem…it reminds me every day that there is a God. For surely he sent you to save me."

The yellow I used to decorate his cheeks, interspersing it with white. Just because I wanted to and because the patterns made him look roguish. I couldn't help but kiss the tip of his nose after I'd finished.

"Aren't you going to use green?" he teased, examining the other primary colors on the palette.

"Hmm…green signifies growth." I tapped my lips thoughtfully before I smirked. Looking along his lean body, I focused on the very masculine part of him. "There's only one thing that does that. And I thank God for that miracle every day."" This time he started laughing as I dipped my fingers in the paint, but he grabbed my hand before I could apply it.

"Mary Alice!" he snorted and rolled me back over. "God will get you for being sacrilegious."

"Bless your heart! He knows I'm being as serious as a heart attack!" I declared in a Southern drawl, laughing as the exasperation made him adorable. He growled as he claimed my lips again, stopping my teasing.

Jasper…my children…my parents, siblings, and their children. Now Bella and her family…Jacob's included…

Yes…God had sent me my own personal saviors. Bless my heart…

And I, for one, wouldn't be taking anything for granted.

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><p><strong>If you don't know the significance of "Bless Your Heart," just ask a southerner.<strong>


	69. Bringing down the lights

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

**Just a quick note: The restaurant, chef, and experience described are real. Pioneer Square is also a part of the city of Seattle. I'm sure I have the locations all wrong, but please forgive me if you are familiar with them. Google can only tell you so much!**

**Sending out a day early as I have plans with the babies tomorrow. By the way, Cosmopolis is even better the second time around! If you've seen the movie, tell me in a review your favorite scene or line. Or, if you would prefer, which character you would have liked to stand in for. The hair on my arms stood up both times at the end, when Paul Giamati/Benno utters, "I wanted you to save me." And then to see the look on Rob's/Eric's face. GAH! **

**My character...the female bodyguard. If you've seen the movie, there is no explanation needed. HA!**

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

"Yes, tonight. No, it's all on me. I wanted to do this last week, but Theirry had to cancel. So just meet us at Rover's at 7, okay," Edward said to his dad on the phone. "Yes, I've already spoken with Alice and Rose. NO! Tell mom that the kids are coming as well. It's to be a family thing." He stopped for a moment and listened to what his father said. "No, we won't be late because the kids have to go to school." He chuckled. "Dad, just trust me, okay?"

He'd been staring at the portrait since we made our way into the house, having carried it gently into our bedroom and leaned it up against a wall. His eyes had rounded out like an owl's when he'd seen it, and the possessiveness that appeared when he approached it in Alice's painting room had been scary. Thank God she'd been meaning to give it to us, because I do believe it would have been war if she hadn't.

"Do I even want to know?" I asked as soon as he closed off his cell phone. He'd already called Jake and asked him and the family to dinner as well.

Finally, he tore his eyes away from the masterpiece to grin engagingly before assuring me. "Don't worry. I'm not going to embarrass you or anything. I've arranged with a chef that I've become friends with to have dinner at his place. His name is Thierry Rautureau; he's the chief chef and owner of Rover's. It was where we were headed last week, but he had to cancel. He's usually closed on Mondays but to make up for having to ditch me last time, he called and offered to open up just for us.

Just for us? "What kind of food is it?" I asked.

"French, kinda. Really, he uses the foods from around here and adds a French flair. His restaurant is in this little house, so it is fairly intimate. It's not usually a place you'd take kids, but with just the family being there, it'll be fine. Although he did say that he would be insulted if he was asked to make French Fries," he joked, pinching my bottom as he moved past me to take off his jacket and place it on a hanger.

I growled at him, rubbing the smarting spot on my behind. "Hey! That hurt."

"Wah!" he mocked like a crying baby, laughing with that adorable little boy laugh when I threw a pillow at him.

I barely saw him move before I was tackled, and we landed on the bed, him above me, caging me in his arms. I grabbed his tie and pulled at it sharply, using it again to bring his lips back down to me. Then once I had him close enough, I ran my hands over his chest, smoothing the cotton over him. Loosening the tie, I undid the top button and placed my lips to his skin. "Unfortunately, Carlie will be home any minute, or I would take advantage of this playfulness."

"Who says I'm interested in that right now," he growled at my ear. Shifting my hips slightly, I rubbed against the part of him that was talking to me, and he conceded. "Okay, so I'm always ready for that with you, but it's because you are just so delectable," he said, the words rumbling out of his chest like a purr. He ruined it all though as his fingers danced up my ribs, causing me to shriek.

"Edward Cullen!" I warned and then dissolved into a giggling fit as he continued to torture me. Soon, my shirt had been tugged out of my skirt, and he had me begging for mercy.

"I like to hear you plead with me," he said in a gravelly voice. "Maybe I can bring over some restraints?"

My eyes grew big, and I froze seeing that he was being serious. Oh my…

Then he broke and resumed torturing me, the last resort being to blow raspberries across my stomach, the already present stubble of his beard making it even worse.

"OH GOD PLEASE!" I begged.

"Um…maybe the two of you should close the door before you…you know," our daughter's voice came from the door, and I tensed to jerk away from him. Luckily, Edward's reflexes were better, he remained perfect poised above my stomach and blew nosily against me once more before he started to rise.

"Bella? Is Carlie ticklish as well?" he asked blandly, and then I felt him bunching.

"Oh…very," I ratted her out.

This time it was her shriek that sounded out as her father chased her out of the room. She barely made it to her room and slammed the door shut before he got there. I could hear him laughing as he rapped on the door.

"Come out, come out," he called, like the wolf to the little pig.

"Go away, Daddy!" she chuckled. I started laughing at the banter, rolling over onto the whisker pink skin of my stomach. Resting on my elbows, my chin in my hands, I watched the doorway wondering when he would reappear.

"By the way, you can't hide from me forever. We're going out to eat tonight. Wear something fairly nice," he threw out. He smirked devilishly when he stepped into the doorway and saw that she'd dropped something. "Oh look, Bella. A bookbag. I'm sure there is someone who might need this. Hm…let me see what's in here?" He made a big show of undoing the zipper while he watched down the hallway.

"HA!" she laughed from inside her room. "I've got nothing to hide. Do my homework while you're at it!" she challenged.

"She's no fun," he admitted, walking back down to her room and obviously putting her bag outside the door before he returned. We heard the door open and close quickly as she reclaimed it.

"I'll get her later," he threatened as we repaired the damage our friskiness had caused.

~SOMP~

"Welcome, Mr. Cullen," the server said as we entered the door. His family was already in attendance, the kids doing their best to appear grown up, dressed in their Sunday best.

"Leon," Edward replied, and then a cheery man with dark bushy eyebrows, piercing brown eyes, and wearing a hat came from what I assumed was the kitchen to greet us.

After shaking the man's hand, Edward introduced us. "Bella, this is Thierry. Theirry, this is my Bella and my daughter, Carlie. And this is Bella's family, Jacob and Leah Black, their son, Seth, and daughter, Samantha."

The man's eyes widened slightly but then there was nothing but warmth as he kissed my hand elegantly and moved on to do the same to Carlie, Leah, and Samantha.

"I have such surprises for you, tonight," Theirry announced, taking off his hat as if he was prepared to go to work. "Please, everyone, be seated, and I'll go finish your appetizers." With that he moved back into the kitchen.

I grew more nervous when I saw Edward smirk. And my instincts didn't prove me wrong as the servers arrived shortly afterward with some very unusual dinner utensils…masks.

"Please place your masks on before the first course is served," the man that Edward had called Leon directed, passing the first one to Alice.

"Edward?" Alice asked a little anxiously, leaning up to glare down the table to the man at my side.

Edward stood so that everyone's attention focused on him. "It's called Dining in the Dark. The premise is that you will enjoy the flavors of the food more if they are the focus of the experience. This won't really show us what it's like to be blind, because we can take off the masks anytime we want; whereas, Bella didn't have that luxury. And I know from what I've been able to research that without having gone through independent living training, we are really going to make a mess and knock over things. But I thought that in some very small way, it would help us understand just a tiny bit of what Bella went through…" he cracked a smile and looked down at me "…and it'll give her a chance to laugh at us and have ammunition to tease us for years to come. I wanted us to just have fun with it, not really take it seriously, because nothing could compare to what Bella went through."

He watched me to see if I was okay, if I was taking offense or was uncomfortable with the proposal of fun. I winked at him and saw his muscles relax just a little.

"So let's do just that…have fun," he proposed to the group. The server arrived behind us at that moment with our masks, and he sat down, handing both of them to me.

"Bella? Would you do the honors?" he asked, leaning forward and giving me the opportunity to take his sight away, if only for a short while. It was such a surreal moment…the trust as his eyes softly gazed into mine, compounded by the thoughtfulness of what he was attempting to accomplish. As the others around us readily submitted to the effort, I continued to stare into his soul, seeing the willingness to wait for me in this…as in everything else. Before I put the mask on him, I had to kiss him.

"You're bringing the bindings to bed; I'm bringing this mask. I'll give you a lesson in what it is like to live on the other senses alone," I promised darkly as I pulled slightly away, watching his pupils dilate at my words even as I pulled the mask over his eyes. His deep hiss of expectation made me smile.

I returned to the world that had been mine for so many years when the waitress placed the mask around my face. It was intriguing just how quickly my senses re-acclimated to being blind…the smell of the man beside me tantalizing my nose, the sounds of the individuals seated at the long table, the scents of the food that was already making my mouth water. While I assessed myself, the waiter explained the placements of drinks, the silverware, and food. I grinned when I heard Emmett curse out just a minute later as his water tipped over.

"It's okay, sir. It happens all the time," the efficient girl chirped happily, and I could hear her quickly cleaning up the mess.

"He's a klutz even when he can see," Rosalie quickly added in a snarky manner, to which everyone began laughing.

Her teasing tone set the manner for the meal; the exact thing Edward had wanted…hilarity as they attempted to go about eating in a whole new way. Dinner was spectacular, the flavors mingling on my tongue in exotic bursts; Thierry was a master magician, as Edward had indicated. The red wine was a perfect companion and after finishing my meal, I leaned back to savor it. Throughout the course offerings, I'd attempted not to laugh too hard upon hearing the various grumbles as individuals within our group incurred mishaps, but I couldn't help but enjoy the comments. Thankfully the place had provided large covers, or the group would most likely look like they'd had a food fight. I imagined I'd looked pretty much the same the first time I'd tried to eat, as it'd taken me months to find any sort of grace.

The otherworldly feeling and hilarity of Edward's overture had only been compounded by the happy sounds of conversation flowing between our two families between incidents. It was a stark contrast to the day Carlie had led the Cullens to my house. Even Jacob and Edward traded friendly barbs while they ate, and I wanted to hum in pleasure. Hadn't I always dreamed of a big family like this? Suddenly, I missed Aro and Cia. It had been too long since I'd visited. Making myself a promise to arrange for us to visit over the weekend, I drew my attention back to the conversation around me.

"Edward," Carlisle chuckled. "Are we having dessert here as well?" I'd heard even his low grunts a couple of times, and it made me wonder what the usually immaculate doctor looked like.

"No, although Chef Rautureau offered, I thought we might give the kids the choice since they've had to put up with an adult dining experience."

The kids all chirped in from the end of the table where they'd congregated. I suspected that they'd taken off their blindfold at times, because I'd heard little from them other than gentle laughter and giggling, but if they did, the wait staff and the Chef weren't telling on them.

"Anthony, how was dinner?" Theirry asked from behind us.

"It was amazing…or I should say that what I was able to get in my mouth was amazing." His voice was amused. "And please call me Edward. Anthony is my middle name, but I prefer Edward."

"Certainly. Ms. Bella, I hope you enjoyed your meal as well. You seem adept at this sort of thing," he complimented, and I could literally feel Edward tense beside me. Theirry hadn't been here for Edward's little speech.

Reaching over to place my hand on Edward's leg, I patted him softly, in order to calm him down. "I was blind for a little over fifteen years. Edward brought everyone here to experience it a little. But I have to agree with the idea. When you take away one of your senses, it does makes the others so much more acute. The meal was amazing, and I would love to return, dark dining or not."

"It would be my honor," he said to me. To the rest, he indicated, "You can take the masks with you."

Removing mine, I looked over to see Emmett waggling his eyebrows at Rose; he obviously had the same plans as I did. When I turned to Edward it was to find him waiting patiently for me to take off his mask. When I did, he immediately looked down and smirked. "I'm so glad that Theirry provides covers, or I'd embarrass you," he said of the food streaked down the front.

"You actually did very well," I noted, attempting to make him feel better.

"You don't lie well, Bella," he snickered, and I leaned over to nuzzle at his ear.

"You are so getting laid tonight," I whispered softly.

"Really," he grinned. "Remind me to take you to dinner more often."

I reached up and pushed his face to the side with my palm as he chuckled. He was such a goof. He knew exactly what he'd done to impress me. All joking and meaning for this to be just a fun adventure aside, this was probably one of the most romantic gestures anyone had ever done for me. No…it wasn't a gesture full of roses and music, or declarations of love and making love, but it was something to speak to the core of who I was.

Bella, who'd been blind as long as she'd been able to see.

I felt tears gather uncontrollably and closed my eyes to take a final sip of my wine. He'd probably panic if he saw my crying, and I wondered how I would be able to explain to him that they were tears of happiness ripped from deep within, not tears of sadness.

"So where to kiddos?" Carlisle asked of the kids, saving me from Edward's attention.

The answer should have been a given. "Ice Cream!" they squealed out in unison.

And so the families moved to a place Rose and Alice knew near Pioneer Square. It was definitely much more kid friendly, being in a shopping complex designed to cater to children, and I saw the adults take a deep breath of relief when the sugar high kids made toward the huge play area to work off the extra steam. It was obviously a hugely popular place with the amount of kids and adults still there on a week night. The play area looked like an ant hill with the kids swarming all over it.

"Maybe ice cream wasn't the best idea," Carlisle snickered as Jasmine ran by screaming, chasing Emmy. Even Sam1 and Sam 2 tried to keep up with them; Sam 2 maneuvering fairly quickly on her crutches.

"That's okay Dad, we're sending them home with you tonight," Rose threatened as Ross came down the slide screaming, face first, his good dress shirt looking like he'd rolled in the dirt.

"I have to work tomorrow," Carlisle rebutted, cracking a smile.

Thankfully, Carlie and Seth were in the midst of the chaos, keeping a look out.

"Bells, I have to tell you, I don't know how you didn't waste down to nothing," Emmett grumbled, rubbing his stomach. "I cheated and used my fingers to eat after the first slip," he admitted.

The thought of it was hilarious. "You had pasta," I laughed, wondering just how he'd accomplished that.

"So…" he laughed, admitting to eating like baby. "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do." He shrugged his broad shoulders nonchalantly, a grin running the nonchalant look.

What followed, as I relaxed back onto Edward's shoulder, was a discussion from the others of what they'd found intriguing about the whole eating experience. I listened in fascination to their observations as his hand softly rubbed a pattern across my skin.

Just as Carlisle stood up mentioning that he hadn't seen the two Sams in the last few minutes, Carlie came around one of the corners screaming.

"DADDY!" she screeched; Edward and Jacob both jumped up. "Some man just grabbed Samantha… Seth's running after him!" she cried out, holding onto Sam1's hand, the others lined up behind her like little ducks in a row. Tears streamed down Sam 1's face as she pulled Sam2's crutches behind her.

I didn't know who moved quicker…Carlisle, Edward, or Jacob. But I knew that Emmett and Jasper were right behind, racing out the door that Carlie had pointed toward.

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><p><strong>Thoughts?<strong>

**Also, I was asked, so I'll tell. "Bless you heart" is something Southern women say when they feel sorry for someone or think that person has made an idiot of themselves. It is a way to insult without being rude. For some, it is also a polite way to say "Go to He11!"**


	70. Nirvana

Just a little outtake - and as always, everything in the Twilight world belongs to the wonderful Ms. Meyers. I'm just happy she lets us play in her world.

Hope your week is going well - I have four sick children and the stomach bug as well...

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><p><strong>Esme POV<strong>

Contentment filled every pore of my skin and soaked into the very marrow of my bones as I watched my family interact around the table.

Emmett…well…he was Emmett, teasing his lady Rosalie. He loved her more than life itself and that dedication extended to his children and frankly everyone within those he deemed family. He was a man that anyone would be honored to call their son. The bedrock… Then, of course, I saw him "sneak" his hand up Rose's thigh, and I had to turn my eyes quickly away. Well the mischievous bedrock. He had Carlisle's personality…like a little boy running happily amuck in a man's body.

Rose was the perfect partner for my eldest…making him step outside of the perfect, orderly world he created around him. And my grandkids…Emmie and Ross, my eyes snuck to them as the server began to place our plates and cups before us. My first grandkids, well at least until I'd found out about Carlie, were gems. Emmie would be her mother all over when she was grown…a beauty with a brain, and Ross had fortunately inherited his father's perspective on life. He knew no fear.

I grinned softly seeing Alistair straighten Emmie's fork. He was my serious little one…always watching those around him, assessing their emotions and attempting to intercede when he felt necessary. Only time would tell if I was right about him, but I was imagining him as a therapist…someone helping others to gain equilibrium. And Jasmine…she was a spitfire…like I imagined Alice would have turned out…

NO! I wasn't going to go down that road. We had to play with the cards dealt to us.

But looking at my daughter, I could see the difference this night. She and Bella had met, and whatever had been said had given my daughter that last little piece of peace. They still had a lot to work out, no doubt, as we all did, but it finally felt like my family might just have the possibility of healing. Jasper turned to smile softly down into Alice's eyes; he had the look of a man well satisfied. I'd seen his car coming in the drive earlier. Good for him…and probably even better for her.

Carlisle caught my eye, grinning at me in question. My face must have given something of my thoughts away, but I could care less, raising my eyebrow at him slightly. He'd come home early as well, taking advantage of Samantha's nap in the way I suspected Jasper had most likely Jasmine's and Alistair's. I had to choke back laughter at the memory of him lunging for the bathroom when Samantha attempted to come into the bedroom, having wakened early. I'd been wise enough to throw a robe across the bed, so it would seem that I'd needed to do the same for Carlisle. Winking at him, I gazed in longing at Samantha.

She was such a joy. I'd had no dreams of being a mother again, thoroughly enjoying the grandchild route, but now that she was with us, it was difficult to imagine our life without her. She sat beside Sam1. Even the nickname made me smile. The two girls thoroughly enjoyed being known as Sam1 and Sam2, and had already began discussing dressing up as the Dr. Seuss characters Thing 1 and Thing2 for Halloween. It seemed that they were destined to be best friends.

Jacob and Leah came next around the table. It was difficult not to stare at the man. He'd always been an attractive boy, which to be honest might have been a good part of Edward's jealousy. But he'd grown into a mind-boggling attractive man. His white teeth flashed against the dark of his skin as he teased his wife about something. She rolled her eyes at him, but the love between the two was so deep that it was tangible. Had I seen them together when they were teenagers, there would have been no way that I would have fallen prey to the scheming that occurred. No one…no one…could doubt the feelings and connection between them. I grinned seeing Leah smack his arm. There was no telling what he'd said to her, but the fire in his eyes gave me some idea.

And then there was Carlie and Seth. Looking at Jacob's son was like looking at a ghost. Particularly when matched with Carlie, who was Bella made over except for my son's eyes. I didn't know if anyone else had a reaction to seeing them together, but I did. Because, against all that seemed reasonable, they really did love one another, deeply...it was easy to see the difference in how they interacted in comparison to how Bella and Jacob had. It would have been easy to slip back into the repetitive thought patterns about how much we'd hurt her, but she seemed ready to move on, so we would. But I would spend the rest of my life making it up to her.

A deep, masculine chuckle caused my eyes to move to the final occupants of the table. My heart swelled in pure bliss seeing Bella leaning toward Edward, her teasing him about something while she held the mask in her hands. It was bittersweet really to watch them, because I realized I'd forgotten what Edward looked like when he was really happy…when the joy radiated from him. Sure, I'd seen him smile at family dinners, at Christmas time with the kids, on those rare occasions when something broke through the fugue that had surrounded him. But what I saw in front of me was something entirely different; it was pure joy and completion. For all the mistakes that had been made and the hurt we'd caused, they'd found themselves again. Bella's capacity to forgive and Edward's willingness to do whatever it took being the key to it all.

I wanted to laugh out loud when I saw him arch his eyebrow at her, but he waited patiently for her to place the mask on him. The poignant picture made me want to weep, and I was glad that everyone around me had placed their masks on, because they would have been upset to see the tears that formed in my eyes. They called me soft, but what it really was…was that I was just a mother. Seeing my children and friends around me happy was an ultimate dream.

So as soon as I thought they were distracted with attempting to eat, I pulled my mask off so that I could watch. The Chef caught me, but I placed my finger to my lips and begged with my eyes for his silence. I wanted to gaze at them undisturbed, to have the opportunity to really observe without the hindrance of being scrutinized.

It was sheer perfection. The word happy didn't even describe my state of mind. Then the realization of what it really was hit me…

Nirvana.

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><p>:) Just a little Esme time.<p> 


	71. Chase

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

**Hope you all have had a good week! I've finally gotten back to the feeling that my stomach is my own after being sick for days. BLAH!**

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

Jacob and I both turned left out of the door, seeing open parking spaces to the right. There was no sign of the man, Samantha, or Seth, but the alleyway would provide a covered escape route. I could only hope we were correct in our assumptions. My first thought, as I ran beside Jacob, was that possibly the man that had abused her had escaped from jail…certainly Glenn had managed to do so, but I doubted that even we could be that unlucky. Or maybe I should have said lucky…because if it wasn't him, then I could only consider one other alternative and it was horrific…a child predator.

When we hit an intersection, the sound of a still-rolling garbage can gave us direction to continue northward. Although the sound of the metal against the pavement was grating, the noise of my father and brothers just steps behind me was a source of comfort…albeit minimal. When…because I refused to think if…we caught up with the man, it would probably take a miracle for him to come out of the confrontation in one piece.

"Good boy," Jacob muttered, as we came to another junction of several alleyways and saw Seth's jacket lying several yards down one. He was laying a trail for us to follow. His tie and belt guided us through more turns as we navigated the maze of alleyways that surrounded the businesses. Everything around us related to kids, I realized…kids' boutiques, shoe stores, learning centers. Damn it…it was the perfect place for a demon to scope out his next victim. Jacob cursed, however, when we came to the end, a street dividing us from a cluster of restaurants, clubs, shops, and apartments. We'd made our way to the area known as Pioneer Square.

"Come on Seth, where are you?" Jacob muttered under his breath, scanning the space around us diligently.

I knew that Jacob had spent a good amount of his childhood running through the woods back in Forks. And it came to me that if anyone could track his son, Jacob could, but the thought only gave me a moment of peace.

"There," he finally said, pointing across the street to a bench. It sat skewed as if something had knocked into it.

Dashing across the street in front of traffic, we came to a stop beside the bench, and Jacob growled at what we saw. A small splash of blood hadn't even dried on the pavement yet. Emmett's phone rang as we looked around attempting to find another clue and seeing nothing.

"Rose! Not now…What?" He looked up. "Yessler and 6th. Okay. No, we can't wait."

We could hear the sirens in the distance. Cops.

It was then that my phone rang. "Bella, love. We're…"

"Deme's on the way, Edward. Listen, seriously…you gotta hear this. I called him; I don't know…because it felt right, you know. Edward, he's been tracking a guy. He thinks this might be him, because he goes after girls around Samantha's age with red hair and green eyes."

Fuck! I tried not to look at my dad. Controlling the rage in me was hard enough. No… And the blood wasn't looking good, particularly with Seth's absence.

"I'm not going to keep you on the phone long, because he's going to be calling. He wants to know where you are. Edward, when I told him that the man left on foot, he was a freaking lunatic on the phone. He believes the guy has to have a place around there. He actually said most likely a house…because the jerk would want privacy. Deme…"

The phone beeped, and I didn't know the number.

"Bella…" I interrupted "…this is most likely him, and I see the cops now as well." Cruisers were screaming down the streets. "Let me let you go, okay."

"'Kay. I love you," she said before ending the call.

"Edward," the Italian man's voice came through the line as Emmett hailed down the lead cop car. "I'm already in the car. Where are you?" he asked, and I could hear tires squealing in the background.

Giving him the address, I watched as Jacob paced, counting off steps as he continued to look on the ground and the area around him. "C'mon…c'mon…" he kept repeating.

"Edward, focus," I heard Demetri call my attention back to him.

"What?"

"Use your clinical skills. Look around…what do you see?" he asked calmly. Then he swore out. "BASTARD!" There was a moment of silence before he said, "Not you, the guy that thought to pull out in front of me."

Turning to look at the area in front of us, I tried to describe it to him. "We're not far from the ice cream parlor. Walking distance. I think he has Seth now as well." I hadn't wanted to say it, but it was actually a better option that what we could be considering.

"No, that doesn't make sense," he replied. "Unless…" He paused. "Let me think on that for a moment. What's around you now?"

As we were surrounded by more and more cop cars, I gave him a rundown. "We're at the outskirts of Pioneer Square, so mostly shops. But there are apartments several blocks down." A movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention, and I glanced again at the alleyway. "Hang on a moment, Demetri."

Still holding the phone, I walked over to the area and saw a group of loitering teenagers hiding in the shadows. They looked as if they would start running when they saw me, but I put my hands out as if to stop them. "Hey…" fishing into my pockets, I brought out what money I had and that caught their attention. I didn't want to think about what they might do with the money, but right now, I had another teenager and small girl to think about. I did breathe a little easier though when I saw their clothes. These weren't street kids, but more likely some kids hanging out where they weren't supposed to be, enjoying the nightlife.

"Did you see a kid about this tall?" I held my hands to my shoulders. "Black hair, tan, with a little girl, red headed like me?" I asked, holding out a fifty.

I saw the one that was most likely the leader hesitate only a second before he snatched the money out of my hands…but he did back up. "Hey, look. I don't want trouble," he said of the cops.

"No trouble. They were with another guy?"

"Creep," one of the girls muttered.

This was good, but I saw the panic in their faces as a couple of the cops stepped to join us.

"Hey!" they shouted out, and I tried to salvage the possibility.

"If you would help us, I'm certain that they'll tell your parents that you helped with a problem at the ice cream shop." Knowing cops, I wasn't so sure that it would happen that way, but if Demetri was on the way here, we could manipulate anything.

"Can you describe the creep?" I asked the girl, turning on the charm. Bella would just have to forgive me.

"Yeah…" she stuttered. "He wasn't as tall as you, probably a couple of inches shorter, buzz-cut dark hair and tan like the kid. He wasn't really big, but he wasn't skinny either."

"We have a forensic artist," one of the cops said quickly behind me.

"Edward!" I heard Jacob call out. He'd made his way toward the start of a cobblestone walk.

"No," one of the other boys said. "The guy and his kids didn't go that way. After the boy pushed him into the bench, the man spun on him. I don't know what was said, but it was like the boy froze. He quit arguing with his dad and started walking to their place I guess. He…the boy…took the girl, and the man walked behind them that way." He pointed to another similarly paved walkway going east.

So the blood wasn't Seth's, and he'd gone with the man freely. It didn't make sense. Or maybe it did, because Seth wasn't going to allow Samantha to go alone. It meant that the man had some hold over them, and I feared it was a weapon of some sort.

"Edward!" I heard Demetri shout out, and brought the phone back to my ear.

"Yeah."

"Tell them I'll take care of them, but don't let them go. I need her to work with that artist, in case we can't find him tonight."

Keeping the phone to my ear, I handed the leader the rest of my money, knowing they would be dividing it between them. "Stay here. A friend of mine will arrive soon, and he wants to talk to you." As I walked away, I saw that the cops weren't going to leave it to chance…already rounding up the kids to move toward a squad car. I caught up with my brothers, father, and Jacob. "They went that way, Jacob," I pointed down the way the boy had indicated.

We weren't running this time as Jacob scanned the ground carefully.

"Where are you now, Edward?" Demetri remained on the line, but I could hear him talking into another phone at the same time.

"We're traveling down the street directly to the east of where the cops are."

"I should be there in less than five minutes." Just how fast was he driving? "Don't hang up on me. Can you put me on speaker so that I can hear?" he requested.

As I did what he requested, I noticed the near panic in Jacob's face. "It wasn't Seth bleeding, Jacob," I told him, hoping that it would at least make him feel marginally better. "He pushed the man into the bench, so I'm assuming it was the man who was injured. Seth had Samantha as they walked away."

"Good," he said gruffly, and I could tell that he was attempting to focus on the positives.

"Do you need us to call Leah?"

"SHIT!" he stopped still, realizing that she didn't even know. "Crap, she's going to skin me alive."

Jasper took over, attempting to spy anything he could while Jacob took the time to call his wife. It wasn't as if Seth could leave a trail now, not with the guy walking behind him. But Jasper tried as we walked through a more artsy area, toward the apartments I'd spotted. The police followed us, swarming and attempting to stall us, but it wasn't working. Time seemed to be speeding away from us, and it was almost as if I could feel the panic setting in. It was then that Jasper turned to the man closest to us.

"Do you have tracking dogs?" He held up Seth's tie and coat that he'd snatched as we'd ran after them, and the man's eyes bulged.

We'd all heard his radio blaring and the letters FBI being shouted out all over the waves. Demetri was already working his magic. I suspected it was the only reason we hadn't been arrested already for ignoring their demands. The startled officer had his radio in his hand almost instantaneously. "Yeah!" he grunted in apparent satisfaction. "We sure fucking do and at the precinct just down the street."

Jasper distracted him by handing over the clothing. If we had dogs, and we didn't have to cross water, we had a shot. I prayed hard that the usual Seattle rain would hold off.

Another police officer's radio started blaring, and all we heard were comments about "wives." It would seem that the rest of the family had arrived at the starting point. I grinned in savage satisfaction knowing that my mother would teach them a thing about persistence.

"Jacob!" Emmett called out from just up ahead and I turned to see him holding up a leather bracelet, having kneeled beside a lamppost ahead.

The answer to whether or not it was Seth's was apparent by the way Jacob's hands clenched around it. "Leah...your son is a frickin' genius," he muttered into the phone in an attempt to calm her.

"Demetri, we've picked the trail up again."

"Hell, yeah!" he growled out.

To know that Seth was still in the game calmed me as well. But we were becoming a spectacle on the street as shop owners and patrons of bars and restaurants along the way came out to see what required such a large police presence. We were going slow, attempting to not miss anything, questioning ourselves as we assessed each alleyway. I saw several people recognize my family and the inevitable cell phones coming out. The tall apartments were looming over us, but like Demetri, I didn't think that we should be focusing on one of them.

To say I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard a dog howling was an understatement. I didn't even feel a moment of surprise when Demetri appeared running beside the handler, finally hanging the phone up on me. He was in jeans and a sweater, his gun strapped across his chest.

"My agency is on the way," he advised us quickly as the handler took the clothes and the dog to the side for a moment to allow the canine to get a clear scent. "Jacob, Carlisle…we are going to get him this time; I can sense it."

I knew he was talking to them as the primary parental figures, but Samantha was already a part of our family, and Seth quickly becoming an addition as well to my parents and siblings. To me, he was already considered a son. Maybe my connection wasn't as deep as Jacob's was to my daughter…but given time, it would be.

"Agent Velathri, we're ready," the dog handler informed him.

For once, Jacob fell back, letting the police take control. "Never thought I'd play second fiddle to a dog," he muttered, attempting humor. His voice was too tight for it to come off as anything but terrified.

Without hesitation, the dog led us to an apartment building just blocks down the street, but once there, Demetri started shaking his head. "No, this isn't right. He wouldn't have a place here. It doesn't fit."

It was an older building that had obviously undergone a thorough renovation within the last few years as the area gentrified: a stunning masterpiece of old architecture made better by the new. Demetri backed up looking at the solid brick structure, his eyes flicking over the edifice as the dog continued to signal to the place in front of us. Then he slowly turned around scanning the area, before grabbing the closest police officer's radio. Even as the young man yelled out about Demetri's action, Demetri went live on the air.

"He's in the underground!" He barked at one of the cops standing beside him. "Get me one of those tour guides! I need to know all the available exits." All this was said into the walkie, but then he directed those listening. "All available units to cover the known access points. Block them! They couldn't have gotten far. The juvenile abducted will be slowing them down!" he barked.

"Sir. There is an entrance about six blocks in that direction. It's clearly marked," a young female officer said, pointing east. I was betting that she'd been in underground tunnels and basements as a teenager. The tours had been something most teens did several times, particularly at Halloween as the stories lent to other-worldy creatures like vampires, witches, and werewolves. "Then about 10 blocks south there is another. If you can get there, you'll have him pinned."

Demetri motioned to her radio, telling her to take over with directions as he turned to the building. "C'mon…" Demetri pointed to the German Shepherd "…he'll lead us right to him."

I found it odd that the police didn't stop us, but perhaps with the way that Jasper was tracking right beside Demetri, they thought that we were part of his team. I didn't really care, as long as it allowed us to go with him. Dad and Emmett followed close behind us as we entered the apartment complex. The security guard must have been called due to the chaos outside the building, and he attempted to intercede. But we followed Demetri's lead, barreling right through his token protests; we walked down the hallway past the elevators leading to the floors above.

The dog led us directly to a thick metal door, which of course protected the stairs going down to the basement. The door that would have separated the basement from the underground tunnels stood open.

"He works here," Jasper proposed, as we walked through the opening. "That door hasn't been forced. Get a copy of the employee roster," he demanded of the rookie following us, as if he had any pull here.

My stomach felt sick at Jasper's observation and my earlier one. Hunting grounds again.

The cop never questioned Jasper's order, veering off, only to be replaced by another. There were too many following behind us for his spot not to fill quickly…the possibility of catching a child predator a pull for any officer. I was betting that the streets above were swarming and hoped that the female officer had harnessed the forces well, sending them to the closest exits. He couldn't be that far ahead of us. He was dragging two kids along with him, one that, as Demetri had surmised, would be purposely dragging his feet. There was no way he could know that we had a dog, or that we were so close behind him. I just hoped that when he was cornered he didn't do anything stupid. I was suddenly not worried about catching him…but about the situation resolving without anyone getting hurt.

Sniffing along the floor, the dog continued pulling us forward, but we all froze when we heard a gunshot. It echoed throughout the enclosed spaces around us, washing over us with foreboding. Jacob paled, and my dad stumbled. The dog went wild at the sound, lunging forward as if he wanted to break loose from the man restraining him. The trainer was as eager as the dog, and drawing his weapon, he began running.

The tunnels were narrow, barely big enough for two of us to navigate together…and that only because of the renovations the tourism industry had put into them.

A sharp yip sounded out from the dog just a few yards later, and the cops slid to a halt, pulling their guns. It was eerie to hear nothing but silence, but then we heard the sounds of feet running toward us. Jacob shoved a cop into the wall to get to his son when Seth turned a corner just in front of us…a crying Samantha in his arms. Seth held up until he fell into Jacob's arms, Samantha pressed between them.

"Dad…" he gasped. "He's about a hundred feet down the tunnel. He pulled a gun…and I wrestled it from him, which is when it went off. I hit him with it. I may…I may…have kil…"

Demetri took off at a speed I thought almost inhuman, and the police raced past us, leaving my family standing around Jacob, his son, and the crying child. Finally, Jacob realized that he was keeping Samantha from Carlisle and eased his embrace enough for my father to pluck her from between them.

"Daddy!" she cried out, grabbing for my father. She'd completely bypassed the other names they'd discussed, going for the one she wanted.

"Dad…he still has another girl. They have to keep going. He mentioned her when I caught up to him."

So that was why he hadn't just caused a scene at the bench.

"What did he say?" Jasper asked intently.

"Just that I'd be responsible for someone else's death if I stopped him. He was going to shoot me; I knew I wasn't going to make it to wherever he was taking Samantha. The dog can track the scent…right?"

"Yeah!" Jacob said gruffly, pulling his son into his arms without shame.

"I'll go and tell them," Jasper volunteered, moving in the direction that Demetri and the police had run.

"Sweetheart, did he hurt you?" my father whispered softly into Samantha's red hair, and she shook her head adamantly, sobbing again into the chest. I saw him close his eyes, knowing that he was saying a prayer of thanks. He knelt and gently got her to stand in front of him, just to check.

"Are you okay," I asked of Seth. "Are you hurt? We saw the blood."

"No. I knocked him hard into the bench. I busted up his hand." Then Seth moved back from Jacob, looking over to Samantha first before answering. "No, I'm fine. Just a little…" he grimaced, and I noticed that his hand shook slightly. "Carlisle…I'm so sorry. I just took my eyes off…"

My dad rose to his feet swiftly, Samantha on his hip, her face buried into his chest again. "Seth! There is no reason to apologize! You were incredibly brave."

"But we were supposed to be watching…" Seth's fists squeezed shut, and I realized he was hanging on solely by a thread.

My father came to stand beside him, catching Seth's gaze. "That man was just waiting for an opportunity. If you hadn't acted with bravery and stealth, I doubt we'd have Samantha with us right now. If he'd chosen another, she might not have had such a champion. I owe you everything, Seth."

Samantha sobbed, her little voice barely audible. "I'm sorry. He said that there was a kitten outside. I've always wanted one." She started crying in great sobs against our dad's chest.

Emmett came to her rescue. "Well then, you'll have one. We'll go to the local shelter and you can have your pick." He softly patted her back, smoothing his hand down it. It was a method I'd seen him use before to calm Emmy down, and if the hiccups that started were any indication, it was working for Samantha as well.

Jacob pulled his phone out, barely finding a signal. So he made the conversation with Leah short. "We have them. Tell Esme that Samantha is okay as well."

"Do we wait on Jasper?" Emmett asked.

It was what we needed to break through the emotional rollercoaster of fear that had overwhelmed us and the numbness of the relief that now swamped us.

"No," my father said. "He'll want to follow Demetri."

It was true. The sound of other footsteps approaching us announced the presence of the police officer that Jasper had sent for the personnel information. He had a small stack of papers in his hand. Seth made it only to the fourth sheath before he said in a strangled voice, "Him."

The look of swift retribution that swept across the cop's face was clear. "We have his address."

We could hear the almost frenzied blur of voices coming from his radio, and I could see the frustration build across his face as he waited to get on it. Finally, he jabbed the button and read the name and address over the air. The noise increased tenfold as various voices began to prepare a search of the location. Demetri's voice came next.

"Do not proceed until I can join you. We believe he may have another victim already in the home. Have a car meet me at the front of the hotel."

I waited for him to have to pull FBI jurisdiction, but the locals were willing to let him call the shots.

"On it," Officer Clay, according to his nametag, said quickly and turned to jog back the way we needed to go.

"You okay to go be smothered by your mother?" Jacob asked Seth, and it was then I realized his delay in moving out of the building may have been for his son to regain some control over the shaking.

"Yeah," Seth grinned, but it was all wrong. His lips didn't exactly form the most perfect smile. A life or death experience was one that could shake the foundation of your world…I should know.

I was surprised at just how far we'd come in our pursuit. It'd been a blur on the way, the fear blinding me to everything else. Details for the tunnel and larger rooms we'd passed by caught my attention this time. We were on a well traveled route, with signs placed along the way here and there denoting the structures above us and the route to continue. The door that led into the basement of the renovated apartment building exited in a turn that led sightseers in another direction. It would appear unimportant in the scheme of things, but I wondered just how often the man had used it. Certainly without Demetri's quick assessment and the use of the dog, the inside of the basement wouldn't have given away anything important. The door the man had used was one of five similar ones we passed getting back out of the well maintained area. My dad and I passed looks as we saw Seth's hand shaking against the railing as we climbed the stairs.

He was an incredibly brave young man, but we were both watching for the signs that he was going into shock. Demetri hadn't said whether or not the man was dead, but it was obvious from what Seth had indicated that he'd struck the man…hard. Seth was a fourteen year old boy, and he was dealing with a situation that would cause most adult men to crumble.

A line of police officers stood not far inside the lobby, guarding against the crowd that had gathered outside in the street. Flashes of light as we came into view revealed the presence of the press, but it was a secondary observation as the rest of the family rose from the benches they were sitting on and ran across the floor toward us. Carlie's eyes glanced over me quickly to see if I was okay, but her momentum was directly solely at Seth, almost knocking him over as she collided into him, her hands patting along his face and chest to check on him. But for Jacob placing his hand at Seth's back, I do believe he would've fallen when Leah grabbed him, caging Carlie between them.

"Are you okay?" Carlie sobbed into his chest, and when he answered, she turned her head to search out Samantha. "Sam2?"

"Yes…Car…" Samantha couldn't say much more, because my mother was smothering her with kisses while she badgered my father as to whether Samantha had been checked out.

I was certain that the paparazzi were getting an eyeful, because the lights occurring behind us at our reunion were almost blinding. The papers were certain to be full of pictures. Bella walked into my arms, the feel of her against me calmed me like nothing else.

It was bare minutes before Demetri and Jasper came around the corner to join us. As Jasper pulled Alice and his kids around him, Demetri came to us and tugged a piece of Bella's hair, smiling brightly at her. "Isabella…" he drawled, and I wondered if he infused her name with sex just on purpose to aggravate me. But he grinned at me as well, and I could tell he was high on the fact they'd gotten the man. "…I am so very grateful that you thought to call. I would like to stay and speak, but…"

"But, you have to go. Call us and let us know if you can…" Her eyes wandered over to Samantha, obviously thinking about the possible other child.

So they'd heard the information over the airwaves as well. Not surprising considering how many police officers surrounded them.

"Yes…yes. I will."

And with that he was gone, out of the building to another flurry of lights. It made me realize how screwed we were. I was assuming the family had driven our cars to the area where I'd met the teenagers, but that was many blocks away. Walking down the street amidst the chaos outside wasn't exactly my definition of fun.

The answer to the dilemma came two-fold. A frantic cry went up outside as a group of officers came into sight. They were escorting the man who'd taken Samantha. He still looked slightly confused, stumbling through the lobby between the two officers that held him up, and I heard the sound of an ambulance backing toward the door from outside. Blood dripped down his face, but I didn't worry too much. Head wounds were bleeders. However, I couldn't help but feel a little glad that Seth had obviously given him quite the knock. Jacob and I passed a look over Seth's head as he glared at the unsuspecting man. At least his righteous anger was better than the shaking.

When the cops managed the front entrance, intent on getting the man to medical care and then the jail, the crowd outside went wild, and we were no longer the focus of their scrutiny. A female officer came to us then. "Agent Velathri indicated that you would need a ride back to your vehicles. We've got some cars out the back entrance."

"Thank you," my father offered for our group.

She, in turn, looked to Seth. "No. Thank you."

~SOMP~

"They got her!" Bella said with a breath of thanks. Demetri had called for only a minute, but it was enough to give us what we needed to hear. "He's calling you a hero, Seth."

Seth grunted noncommittally.

I was driving Leah's car, Bella at my side, while Seth sat ensconced between his mother and my daughter. Jacob had Sam2 with him in the Jeep. The thought that I needed to buy a larger vehicle, perhaps an SUV so that we could all travel together, ran through my head briefly.

That the child had most likely been significantly traumatized was something we couldn't face right now. She was alive, which was more than could be said for what was most likely a legion of his other victims. I'd read a study once on a serial child molester/murderer. He kept his victim alive until he acquired another to replace her or him. I wondered if we would find that this was the same for this monster. Perhaps, I really just didn't want to know.

"Seth, Demetri said that he needed to get your statement tomorrow. He also said the police are going to want the same. As well as Samantha's," Bella let us know.

"Is he going to come to school?" Seth finally asked. "I don't want that. It's going to bad enough as it is."

Bella turned around to Leah.

"I think that maybe we'll let school slide tomorrow. Bella and Edward can take the two of you over to Carlisle's and Esme's and you and Sam2 can hang out. It'll be good for her, Seth," Leah announced sagely.

I watched in the rear view mirror as Seth struggled with the idea. He didn't want to appear less a man, but I could tell that the idea was alluring. "Okay," he finally said.

"Mom and Dad were going to call Sam's therapist. What about if I called Elizabeth to see if she would make another home visit?" I proposed to Seth. He wouldn't want to speak to a "kid therapist." He'd proven himself a man with his actions.

His lack of hesitation in answering told me just how much the incident had shaken him up. "I can go see her in her office. It's cool."

"Okay. I'll leave it up to her."

"Get her to the house, Edward," Bella whispered softly. "Demetri's coming over."

I turned to find the mischievous look on my love's face and couldn't help but grin at her. Even in the midst of chaos, she was still match making. Rolling my eyes at her, I pulled into the drive. Thank God we were home.

Home…

Emotionally exhausted, I tucked the blanket around Carlie's sleeping form. She was on the couch; Seth lying on a small blow-up mattress on the floor in front of her. Trying to separate them would have caused a minor war; we hadn't even tried. Carlie's arm dangled off the couch to where their fingers laced on top of his chest. The boy was exhausted; his grandfather having called him to find out the truth after seeing the ten o'clock news. Looking down upon them, I was struck with the simple simplicity of their relationship. Yes, I was still getting used to the idea, but with each new day, I learned more and more about the man that loved my child. A protective instinct rose in me greater than anything I'd ever felt before. I wanted them to have their dreams…whatever it took. I owed it to them considering the chaos I'd brought into their parents' lives. My sins had been great, but I would insure that they would not be revisited upon the two precious souls lying peacefully before me.

Stepping into Bella's and my room, I called my dad to check in on Samantha. My mother and she were already curled up together, sound asleep.

"Social Services will be here tomorrow, Edward. They'll most likely try to take her from us, claiming we didn't supervise her properly."

I imagined my dad standing over his bed looking down protectively over my mother and their child, much like I'd done with Carlie and Seth just moments before. "I know. I thought of that on the way home. Did you talk with Emmett?"

"Yes, briefly. He is uncomfortable with the laws, having never practiced anything around it."

"Call Aro," I said, gaining Bella's attention from where she stood looking out the window, brushing her hair slowly in an effort to come to her own peace with the day.

"His message was already waiting for me at home. I'll be calling him as soon as I hang up with you."

"Ask him to be there first thing. We need to plan," I noted, moving over to take Bella's hand. "Bella and I will bring over the kids right after breakfast."

"Okay. I didn't want to worry your mother tonight, but she is going to be a mess tomorrow. I'll need your help."

"We'll be there, dad," I told him, while looking down into Bella's eyes. When I hung up the phone, I pulled her into my arms. Sex was the last thing on my mind, but the comfort of her body pressed to mine was exactly what I needed.

"What's wrong?" she asked, and I told her what my dad and I suspected.

"Don't worry, Edward. Aro can be a real bastard when anyone in his family is threatened. If he can't do what is needed, he'll know who can." She moved her cheek against my chest, and then took a deep breath. "He'll take care of it. "

Yes. I suspected he would.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! I had at first thought to spread out the SamanthaSeth taking to make it more dramatic, but I figured I would have been threatened within an inch of my life! HA! I'm still writing furiously on the story and already have several chapters ahead and approved by the betas. Let me know all the things you still want to see before the end of the story, so that I make sure to address them! Smile.**


	72. Suit

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

**Just a little Demetri…**

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><p><strong>Demetri POV<strong>

"Deme, somebody grabbed Samantha," Isabella's voice shook on the other side of the line. Images of Jacob's and Leah's adorable black-headed child flashed through my mind. A sick feeling settled in my stomach, having seen the end results of too many of these situations. Small, fragile bodies crushed and mutilated. "Can you come…I don't know…help us?"

"Of course." Certainly I would help, the fear making the nausea worse. "Are you at Jacob's house?"

A moment of silence and then she enlightened me. "No! Not Jacob's and Leah's Samantha. Sam2, Carlisle's and Esme's Samantha."

FUCK! Realization dawned over me. Red haired, green eyed, Samantha.

"Where are you?!" My voice was too harsh, but I didn't even try to control it, focusing my energy on finding some socks and my tennis shoes. Any hope I might have nurtured that there would be a simple, positive resolution to this situation just flew out the door. I grabbed my gun belt, keys, and wallet from the table just inside the hallway, running for the elevator.

When she gave me their location and filled me in, I actually came to a halt. "Isabella, are you telling me that the Cullens and Jacob are actually chasing him on foot?"

"Yes. Seth took off after him first, but I don't know where they are."

The flush of excitement made the hair on my arms stand up. We fucking had him!

"Isabella, would you give me Edward's number. I'm going to call him as soon as I get to my car."

"Sure! Deme…" she hesitated and then a sob came through before she said "…thank you."

~SOMP~

The fear and panic of the family behind me should have been distracting, but instead, their ability to focus through it had led us to the underground tunnels. They'd tracked Seth to the area, and then through Jasper's insight to pick up the boy's clothes, we'd been able to utilize the dog he'd demanded. I'd told Edward, the day I found him hiding out at the hotel, that I would love to have Jasper on my team, but I knew he wasn't about to give up his family life for the demands of a job like mine. Such a shame, because the man had instincts.

Talking about instincts…mine were screaming…I was worried about Seth's presence. A break in the pattern would make the man even more unstable. And although I didn't mention my fears to the family, I knew that they'd already considered what it meant. So when I heard the gunshot resounding through the subterranean tunnel, I feared the worse, and the breath within me rushed out in distress. I'd never had to address a situation where I'd known any of the victims. There was a degree of separation when you didn't that aided you in addressing the grieving family. I wouldn't have it now.

So to say I gasped in a cleansing breath of air when I saw Seth tear around the corner in the narrow tunnel was an understatement. Jacob about knocked the cop out when he shoved the unsuspecting man into the wall getting to his son.

"Dad…" Seth gasped. "He's about a hundred feet down the tunnel. He pulled a gun…and I wrestled it from him, which is when it went off. I hit him with it. I may…I may…have kil…"

Hm…what did it say about me that I didn't care if he'd killed the bastard. It would save the system the problem and expense of prosecuting him…but for the hope that possibly the other young girl was still alive, it wouldn't be a tragedy. Never the less, when I saw the slumped body on the cobblestones, and that he was still breathing, a savage sort of pleasure coursed through me.

~SOMP~

I'd barely slept; the adrenaline from the evening before had kept me awake and wired. My supervisors had swooped down on the chaos at the police station, while I'd gone to the address the employment records had listed. This time I'd been accompanied not by a tracking dog, but a cadaver one. The dog had looked almost schizophrenic in the pace that it had marked places for investigation. The cop that'd accompanied me had immediately called the CSI team. I didn't want to think what would be found in the walls of the old house…but one thing was missing.

A living, breathing little girl.

We found her in the basement, behind a door that was cleverly hidden by shelving. We couldn't hear anything, but the dog had, cocking her head toward the wall insistently. Rage so pure and deadly had poured through me at the hole he'd stuck her in, and the owlish way she'd blinked at us in the light, cringing into the filthy blanket on the dirt floor until she realized we weren't him.

"I'm with the FBI," I'd quickly told her, and then hope had at least temporarily erased the memories of the abuse, and she'd flung herself into my arms.

So as I climbed into my car, just hours after having parked it, I knew I would stop by the hospital after visiting the Cullens and Seth Black just to check up on her. The police had found her mother, but with dismal results. She'd been passed out in the hovel she called a home, high on crack. The tired social services worker would be filing the necessary paperwork as soon as the business day started. I wasn't certain any foster home could be prepared for the level of care that the little one would need. The pictures I'd found…the evidence of the man's evilness…nothing could prepare anyone for that. It made me sad and furious at the same time.

We had photographic evidence of at least fifteen children. Other agents were searching missing children's websites as we spoke, attempting to identify the scared, drawn faces.

But we'd saved one…no two, I rationalized, as I thought of the child living with Doctor and Mrs. Cullen. For the briefest of moments, I wondered if they could be talked into considering the other child. He would understand the medical problems we were facing, and seeing his wife's understanding face in my mind, I knew she could handle the emotional ones. It was a tempting thought but one I wouldn't even mention this day. My father had already called me and "spoken off record." He, Uncle Aro, and Uncle Caius were mounting a defense for the Cullens and their care of little Samantha. It had made me laugh that they felt preparation was even necessary. Uncle Aro knew too much dirt on the lead judge of juvenile court; Samantha was going nowhere. A Velathri born and bred, I really didn't want to look too deeply into my family's history, afraid of what I might uncover that the requisite FBI searches, from when Jane and I had signed up, hadn't. But it didn't mean that I didn't possess the manipulative instincts that had served generations of my Italian forefathers and mothers. And those instincts were telling me to let the Cullens rest for a couple of days before I spoke with Isabella and planted the seed.

But for now, I needed to go and question Seth. The boy was a hero, whether he wanted to acknowledge it or not. He'd saved two lives, and once the investigation was done, would have given at least closure to a multitude of grieving parents. It was the best of all resolutions considering, but I pondered the trial that would follow as I made my way toward the Cullens' homes. Seth would have to testify about what the man had said and done, and I knew it was a lot to expect of him, but the girl would have to go through even more.

A savage smile crossed my face to know that the man wasn't going to win, but the smile turned predatory as I turned into the gates that the Cullens had left open for me. The Shelby was parked in front of the elder Cullens' home.

Elizabeth…

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed – yes a DemetriElizabeth outtake is on the way. It is more or less a chapter…over 3500. Smile**


	73. Protector

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

I woke to the feeling of being protected and realized that during the night, I'd turned onto my side and Edward had followed. His chest was pressed against my back; his arms encircling me gently. It probably should have felt overwhelming or stifling, but it didn't. Except for the few times I'd spent the night with Robert, I'd had a lifetime of waking up alone…until Edward came storming back into my life.

Ooops…my conscience reared its head…don't forget Demetri. Shut up! I told my head and grinned at the irony of it all. Elizabeth was going to be a lucky woman when she finally caved.

Looking over to the clock, I saw that it was still early, and with Seth and Carlie asleep in the living room, there was no reason to get up just yet. The silence of the house was only slightly disturbed by the breaths of the man cradling me, and it was peaceful. Edward stirred slightly and mumbled my name softly before his arms tightened around me, but he settled right back down, lost in whatever dream he was having.

I had to go to the bathroom, so moving as slowly as I could, I slipped from his arms and made the dash. Hating to deal with morning breath, I did a quick brush over my teeth before exiting. Normally, on mornings like this when I would wake before Carlie, I wrote. But coming back into the room and seeing Edward sleeping soundly, I knew that I wanted the comfort of his arms again. Yesterday had been a roller coaster. So as stealthily as I could, I maneuvered back under the covers to crawl back into his arms, pressing us chest to chest.

Without a single word, he rolled over to press me down into the mattress, and I realized he was awake…and hard. Feeling his lips curve into a soft smile against my skin, I slowly moved my fingers up his back into his hair, tugging gently. The slow, silent acknowledgment was all he needed and his lips traveled to mine. I smirked at the taste of Listerine. Sneaky man…he'd grabbed a breath strip from our side table while I'd been in the bathroom and then laid in wait for me.

I hummed as our tongues slowly met, a communion of the need we felt. Without a single word, Edward slowly and luxuriously made love to me. My orgasm, when it crashed over me, was so poignant that it brought tears to my eyes, and he brushed them off my cheeks with his thumb as I felt him softly shudder into me. My body replete, sleep immediately called, and I wrapped my arms around him, enjoying the feel of his weight pressing down against me.

"I love you," he softly whispered against my neck just before sleep claimed me again.

"I love you, too." I attempted to murmur, and his sigh against my neck told me he'd heard.

~SOMP~

I awoke for the second time to find that I was alone. Well except for the manna from God, I thought as I reached for the coffee cup on the bedside table. I could become addicted to Edward taking care of me this way…the man was a veritable god himself.

Noises from the kitchen/living room area told me that everyone else was awake, so taking a big swig of the nectar of heaven, I made myself move toward the shower. I was dreading the meeting with the police but knew it was necessary. I also worried about what Edward had told me…about his and Carlisle's fears about Social Services. Placing my trust in Aro, I forced the fear away. He wouldn't let us down. But still, we had a long day ahead of us.

It would have been easy to let my anxiety rule; instead, my grin when I saw the mirror was goofy. Edward wasn't about to let the worry stress me, I thought as I saw the hearts drawn in lipstick all over it. In the biggest heart, the one dead center of my sink, was our initials around a plus sign…just like I'd doodled once on my notebook in high school. I'd been horrified when Edward saw it, but back then he'd just grinned and added the silly "4-ever" under it. I didn't know what made his surprise more precious…the fact that he'd taken the time…or the fact that my OCD lover had actually littered the formerly pristine mirror with his handiwork. Either way, between the earlier sex, the graffiti, and the smell of something entirely sinful wafting down the hallway, I entered the kitchen twenty minutes later with a smile big enough to puzzle my daughter.

"Good morning," I announced, causing Carlie to gasp before I leaned up to give Edward a kiss. His eyes twinkled merrily as he slid a plate of homemade waffles and bacon into my hand and nodded for me to go join the kids.

~SOMP~

Sometime during the night, Edward must have texted someone to have a car delivered to the house, because when we'd stepped out of the house, a black Mercedes sedan waited us. When I looked at him in question, he shrugged before saying, "I'm going to need to purchase something bigger, but for now, this will do."

I allowed him to open the door for me and help me in before rolling my eyes at his extravagance. Our attention was refocused when Seth began to ask a million questions about what to expect. Finally, just as we pulled into the gates that led to the Cullens' homes, he revealed his true source of anxiety. "Aunt Bella, what if they try not to let you stay with me?" he fretted. "Not Demetri, but the police…"

He wouldn't have wanted to know that I thought of his nervousness as fretting, because it would be an insult to his masculinity. Personally, I thought that what had gotten us to this moment proved he was already a man, but boys' feelings were as fickle as girls', just in a totally different manner. You had to be just as careful navigating the land mines.

"Seth, I have a notarized letter from your mother and father giving me the right. It will be fine. Besides, you know that your mom will be here within a few hours. She just needed to clear up that one thing on her schedule, and she is going to take the rest of the day off. You'll be talking to Demetri first, anyway, and she'll most likely be here before he'll even let you go to the locals," I reassured him.

"Good!" he said quickly, the relief evident in his voice. I turned around to look at him, catching his grin.

When we walked in, we found Carlisle and Samantha sitting at the kitchen table together, and as if by design, Seth walked over and sat in the chair beside the red-haired girl. Samantha immediately burst into tears, throwing herself into his arms. I would've thought that Carlisle and Esme would panic, but the relief in Esme's eyes told me that she was glad that the little one was crying.

"She's been too stoic," Esme said softly, casting her eyes my way as I joined her at the counter-top, picking up a sharp knife to cut up the vegetables before us. To the rest, she announces, "Vegetable beef soup and homemade rolls for lunch. I'm making enough for everyone."

Everyone turned out to be quite the crew as Elizabeth arrived just after eight, to take Samantha into her room to speak. Demetri knocked on the door just a half hour later, wanting to speak with Carlisle first. Rose, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and the younger kids came within minutes of Demetri arriving. But I breathed the biggest sigh of relief when I answered the door to find the Velathris had arrived. As Samantha had thrown herself into Seth's arms seeking comfort, I did the same to Aro.

"Isabella," he drawled out my name in his unique way. "Shush, dear. We're here, and everything will be fine," he promised as he patted my shoulders softly in an effort to comfort me. And so it would, I thought watching he and my "uncles" set up shop in Carlisle's study. "Cia, Dora, and Didyme will be here shortly. They were up first thing this morning cooking," he informed me.

With his promise, I squeezed Aro's hand and left them, with a wink at Edward, to do what they did best.

"Aro said that Cia and the others will be here soon with food," I told Esme when I rejoined her in the kitchen.

She sniffed, and it was then that I saw she was trying not to cry. "Esme…"

A tremulous smile crossed her lips. "I know. They'll take care of it. It's just hard, knowing what almost happened. So many good things, you know, have happened in the last month, but they've all come with a terrible price first."

With a jolt, I realized she was right. I started listing off all the things in my head that had happened to us just since I'd come back into their lives. Catching her attention, I noted, "We've been attacked by a mentally unstable man determined to destroy everything just because he thought it was his right. Then Tanya came after us. We almost lost Edward…" I remembered how I felt when his heart stopped and I didn't think that Carlisle and Felix would be able to save him "…and now the thing with the man trying to take Sam2." We had been through a lot. But of all of it, Tanya's actions puzzled me the most, and I admitted as much to Esme. "I still don't understand why she told you all the truth at the start. I mean, it isn't like she'd changed…her last actions were too close to what she'd done before."

"Hm… I know, I've thought the same thing," Esme replied as she finished cubing the thick meat for the soup. Laying down the knife on the butcher block, she turned, using a towel to wipe her hands. "Bella, I've thought about that a lot. We'll never know, of course, but I suspect that her husband must have found out something about it all and made her. Carmen told me that she was doing well with him. She really thought that Tanya had found what she needed with him. Maybe for a time, she was happy and felt the need to make amends. Who knows? But if that was it, what went wrong? Why did it all fall apart? I have to admit something to you…"

She stopped and listened to the sounds of the house around us before going further. I realized that she was making sure that no one could overhear us.

"This may say more about me than it does her, but I believe she did it to torture us, not help us. She had to know how much it would destroy us to learn that we'd been wrong. There was a look to her, when she was telling the story…like she was enjoying the pain she was imparting. She presented her actions as a way to relieve her conscience, but I'm not so sure that is the truth."

"You think she never changed." It was my belief as well. Had I actually taken her up on her offer to meet with me, I believed that she would've attempted to use our meeting as a way to taunt me as she'd done at the piano recital. The false nicety of the letter was only a way to pull me into her manipulative designs.

Esme continued through my thoughts. "No, Bella. I don't think she changed at all. Something was missing for her, and she was never able to find the thing that would help her fill that hole." She blushed slightly before saying, "It was the same with Edward. You were always it for him, and I thank you for giving him a chance, Bella."

I couldn't help but tease her, because I wanted to see the ghosts gone from her eyes. "He's rewarding me well, Esme."

She smiled broadly, the blush she'd had before becoming more prominent. "He'd better be, or I'll have a talk with him."

The visual of Esme talking to Edward about ways in which to "take care of me" made me start laughing, and as if it was contagious, she joined in. Soon, we were wiping at our eyes to banish the tears of humor.

"Hey, while we are bawling like babies, shall we tackle the onions?" she asked, nudging me with her shoulders.

"Yes…let's."

Elizabeth joined us as we were placing the remaining ingredients in the already bubbling pots. Esme looked like she was cooking for an army with the three huge pots bubbling on her industrial sized stovetop…at least five baking sheets sitting on top of the countertops filled with homemade yeast rolls left to rise. The smell was incredible already, but my mouth watered to consider how much better it would get when the rolls started baking.

But food was the farthest thing from Esme's mind as she stood still, the wringing of her hands the only sign of her anxiety. She gazed in assessment at Elizabeth, waiting for word on Samantha.

"She's as good as can be expected. I left her with Carlie," Elizabeth said quickly. "Bringing Seth here was a good idea. She feels connected to him through the experience. I can prescribe something for sleep, but it would be better if you can manage to get her to do that without medication."

"She slept with us last evening, but we were going to attempt to get her back into her own bed tonight." Esme moved to the cabinet, bringing out two cups. "Coffee?" she offered to us, and I all but groaned. It was still early enough.

"Please!" Elizabeth's pleased tone mimicked mine. As I savored Esme's blend, Elizabeth put Esme's mind to rest, giving her some further suggestions as to how to help Samantha with the terror.

~SOMP~

"I think that I can stop them from even speaking with him," Demetri said as he and Edward stepped into the kitchen.

I watched in glee as Elizabeth stiffened at the sound of his voice. My guess was that she hadn't known he was here, having arrived before him. He paused for just the barest of moments when he spotted her, and then like a lion stalking its prey he began to move softly across the floor toward her. Coming to rest behind her, he went so far as to rest his hands on the top of her chair. I watched carefully to see if I could see the electricity crackling between them, because Lord knows I could feel it even from across the table.

"Suit," she barely acknowledged him.

"Shrink," he responded, almost purring the word.

She stood up at that and informed us. "Mrs. Cullen, it has been lovely, but I need to be going. Edward, would you escort me out?" she asked quickly.

Demetri smirked at her behind her retreating back and then quickly dashed out of the kitchen following them. I grinned at Esme's chuckle.

"Whew!" she said softly in response to the heated exchange, to which I agreed.

**Edward POV**

"Edward, would you escort me out?" Elizabeth asked in an attempt to get away from Demetri.

"Certainly." What more could I say. That she'd come was more than we should have asked, Sam's new therapist being out of town. I guessed that an attempted kidnapping helped cover the fact that we were barely skirting the parameters set by the APA guidelines for therapist/patient relationships.

As I walked her toward the front door, I acknowledged her willingness to come. "Thank you. I know that this is all a little unprecedented."

She turned to me quickly and grinned slightly. "Edward, I heard about the incident on the news last night. It would have been difficult to not do so, considering it was all that was covered. I would've been insulted if your family hadn't called. She can start back with her regular person this week. All I did was check in on her. Speaking of which; have you made your next appointment?"

"No." So here it went. "I'll need that referral you offered some time back."

Those words brought her to a standstill. "Pardon?" It was the most disconcerted that I'd ever seen her.

"You mentioned that you knew another therapist that could 'handle me' when I talked about doing long term…before I begged you not to stop seeing me."

"Exactly what has changed your mind, Edward?" Ah…her clinical voice was back.

"You and Demetri," I said quickly, realizing that I was flirting again with the professional guidelines.

Those words ruined her professionalism, but in her behalf, she tried. "There is no me and Demetri Velathri," she hissed.

I couldn't help but grin at her. We were both professionals here. I understood as clearly as she did the consequences of violating certain rules in our respective careers. This was my attempt to not put both of us in that bind.

"No, maybe not today, but Elizabeth there will be. I'm not the shrink here…" I intentionally used the endearment he'd used to make a point "…but I'm not above pointing out the obvious. You can't work with me if you begin seeing him. The relationships are too close considering Aro is all but Bella's adopted father." She glared at me, arching her eyebrow finally at my suggestion. "Okay…it is a weak connection, I know, but you have such a strong sense of professionalism that it will cause a problem."

Leaning back against the doorway, I asked, "Seriously, are you going to deny the attraction?"

"He is an arrogant ass, and so are you for assuming to tell me what to do, Edward!" She was livid, and it was that intensity of emotion that caused her to lose her rigid control long enough to call me out.

"Yeah, I know. But you've already covered that with me in therapy. So that isn't a ground-breaking revelation. Look…if this hadn't happened with Demetri, you know I wouldn't be asking. I need to still work with someone, to fix those things that could cause me problems in the future. I want it for me as much as for my relationship with Bella and our daughter. But you are fighting a losing battle, and I'm taking myself out of the mix. It is a professional and personal decision." I hesitated and then realized I'd already put my two feet in, so I continued, "You two are going to be good for each other, by the way."

She found her Zen again and shrugged on the mantle of professionalism as she reached for the door. "If I'm not the psychiatrist you need, Edward, I'll have my assistant contact you with several names."

Putting my foot out, I stopped her from opening it. It was a rash decision, I knew, and I was totally overstepping my boundaries. The look she gave me told me that she wanted to kill me in that moment.

"Elizabeth… You are the best damn therapist I've ever known; you just aren't going to be my therapist anymore. Just help me find the best possible replacement, that's all I'm asking." Sleekly professional, she narrowed her eyes at me. "Just remember that everything we said in therapy is confidential, because when you become family, they are going to attempt to get you to spill on me," I begged.

With those words, I moved my foot, letting her leave. I grinned when she opened up the door to see Demetri standing by her car. He must have gone out the side. The cold stare she'd given me actually grew glacial when she saw who was awaiting her.

"Sasha will call you, Edward."

I tried not to laugh when I realized she'd never denied my insinuation as to why we needed to make the change. I hoped she gave him hell. Unable to help myself, I watched them interact through the side window after she calmly closed the front door. No slamming for Elizabeth…she had too much control. Demetri stood in front of her driver's door, forcing her to speak to him. She waved her hands toward the house, adamantly arguing with him for what seemed minutes. He, in turn, cut his hand through the air when he spoke. Then he brought the arm he'd kept behind his back out for her to see…in it was a present. A small box, simply decorated with a red bow. She pushed past him to get in the car, ignoring the present altogether. Unwilling to be defeated, he deftly flipped the package into her back seat as she pulled away. The grin on his face when he turned back toward the house was blinding; it would seem he was happy with the interaction.

I moved quickly, feeling like a Peeping Tom. "Everything okay?" Bella asked when I joined her in the kitchen.

"Yeah…" Pulling her into my arms, I said softly, "I just asked Elizabeth for a referral. She and Demetri aren't going to last long."

"Okay…" Her eyes grew large, but there was happiness to her expression. She'd pegged them before anyone, so, of course, she wasn't too surprised. "I'm sorry about Elizabeth, Edward. I know that you felt comfortable with her, and that you were making progress."

Leaning down to kiss the tender skin behind her ear, I murmured. "I trust her to give me a good recommendation. Well…as soon as she gets over being angry with me. At least I had her long enough to get my head out of my ass."

I pulled back to look at her, and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She chuckled before saying, "I've been thinking about something. Would you consider…um…us seeing someone together? I think that it might help us…you know."

My shock wasn't at the suggestion, but that she would be willing to do it. I'd wanted to approach the subject many times with her, but hesitated. "Yes, Bella! Yes. I would love to do that." I was willing to do anything that would increase the probability that Bella would agree to forever with me. Grabbing her into my arms, I pulled her up pressing my lips to hers.

The only thing that tore us apart was the sound of a throat clearing. Bella chuckled upon finding Marcus grinning at us. "Edward, Isabella, social services have arrived. Would you care to join us?"

Three women had come, and we listened while two of them stated their concerns and the solution – which was to remove Samantha immediately. The Velathris proceeded to eat the investigator and her supervisor alive, while the foster care worker, the one that had remained silent, attempted to keep the smirk off her face. The final insult had been that the Velathris allowed them to ask all their questions and posture before bringing out the interceding order from the judge that they'd held all along. I got the idea that Aro just enjoyed toying with them…letting them think they were important before he went for their jugulars. Almost like a cat toying with the mouse as pre-dinner entertainment.

"We have an order from Judge Bartles giving Dr. and Mrs. Cullen temporary custody of Samantha Farmer. It was granted first thing this morning. Your agency has been relieved of the need to supervise her. In addition, we will be filing the paperwork to begin the adoption process no later than tomorrow. Thank you for coming, but your services are no longer needed," Aro arrogantly informed them.

The foster care worker, Ms. Endow, started coughing. I'd caught her grin just before she almost burst out in laughter, and she did her best to cover it. I liked her, and I caught Bella's smirk as well.

Aro motioned to the woman who was still attempting to read through the paperwork. She'd forgotten to close her mouth, while the younger lady looked on, her face twitching here and there. "Please feel free to take that copy with you; I made sure that it was certified for your records."

His smile seemed to make her nervous. It was easy to see why…it was sinister in the most polite of ways. I should know; I'd been the recipient of the same look across the table the day Bella had come to talk the terms of our daughter's visitation.

"I'll be back to the office in a little while. I just want to say goodbye to Samantha," Ms. Endow said to the other two as they scurried out of the house. "Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, would you mind if I said goodbye to Samantha?" she asked as an afterthought. At their nods of approval, she rose from the couch. Without shame, she stopped before Aro and grinned. "Good job. That was absolutely freaking brilliant. I know you are probably old enough to be my father and most likely happily married, but I could so kiss you right now," she joked. "What the hell!" And she leaned over and kissed his cheek, before turning to go toward Samantha's room. A blush flushed Aro's face as Bella snickered, muttering Cia's name and threats of "dog house."

But before she made the door, Ms. Endow turned to look back over the friends and family that'd gathered in support of Samantha. "Dr. and Mrs. Cullen…I couldn't talk you into another one, could I? The young girl…who was found. She's going to need some special people…"

I saw the shock on my parents' faces, and then the look of compassion cross my mother's.

"Just think about it…she'll be in the hospital for a while." And with that, she was gone.

As I scanned the quiet group, I couldn't help but see the smirk on Demetri's face. I had a suspicion he'd had the thought as well.

"I would say our job is done," Aro chuckled, looking over the group just as the doorbell rang.

It would seem the Velathri women had arrived; and therefore, lunch should begin. We still had the police to deal with, but somehow I surmised they wouldn't fare any better than the women who'd come to remove Samantha.

**Carlie POV**

A knock came at the door, and I saw Sam2 startle. She was still really jumpy, but I probably would be as well if I'd gone through what she had. She'd grabbed Seth's hand as soon as he came through the door from talking to Demetri, and I saw her scoot closer to him on the bed where we were all sitting at the sound of the door knock. Emmie and Jasmine were unaware of how tense we all were, engrossed in their coloring.

A lady I recognized as one of the social services workers stuck her head in the door and smiled before she walked in. "Hey, Samantha! I just came to say bye before I head back to work." She walked over and sat gracefully on the edge of the bed, not too far from Sam2.

"I'm going to stay here?" Samantha asked, hovering next to Seth.

"Yes, little one, it seems you just might. It's all up to the judge now, but I would say that is exactly what will happen."

Samantha's eyes filled with tears, and she began sobbing. "Thank you," she said to the lady…I couldn't remember her name.

"Don't thank me. Your friends did all that for you. I just came to give you a hug if that's okay. I may not see you again until the day your adoption is finalized. I'll be there to speak with the judge and give my recommendation."

"Okay," Sam2 said quietly, leaning over to give the woman an awkward hug. It was made so because she wouldn't let go of Seth.

Seth and I exchanged looks as the woman exited. It would seem that whatever Uncle Aro had been able to do had worked. What a relief. And then we grinned at one another. It was at least one hurdle down. Now we just had to get through the cops wanting to talk to both Seth and Sam2. When my dad knocked at the door to tell us that lunch was ready, Seth let him take Sam's hand and lead her away with the others. We stayed behind, needing a moment.

I'd been so scared when we realized that Seth had been taken along with Sam. Not that I didn't care for her, but that it seemed as if I couldn't breathe while I waited to hear that he was okay. Just as I'd had to hold his hand last night, I needed to touch him again and hear his heart beating. Moving into his embrace, I did just that, placing my cheek against his chest.

Thump-thump.

His heart surged strongly, settling me. I grinned when I felt his lips press into my hair, kissing me on the top of the head. "I don't know what I would've done if something happened to you," I told him.

"I'm not going anywhere," he promised me adamantly.

Pushing my fist into his stomach, I grumbled, "Better not, or I'll find you and kick your butt."

He chuckled, and it was during that moment that his mom opened the door looking for us. She must have just gotten to the house, because I couldn't imagine her not looking for him immediately. "You two coming?" she asked gently and without reproach.

"Yeah…" I sniffed. "I was just threatening him for running off on us. It made my stomach hurt."

Aunt Leah's eyes grew soft. "Mine too."

Lunch was crazy, as it always was with my Uncle Aro around. He tried not to answer Aunt Cia's questions about a "younger woman," and his face when she busted him through my mom was absolutely priceless. But all hilarity died when the cops arrived, Samantha becoming silent again and beginning to cry until Poppa insisted that Nanna accompany her. At first, I thought that the police would tell us no, but the one female officer took control, okaying it. Demetri and Aunt Leah went with Seth, but only after I hugged him tightly again.

Knowing I was nervous, my dad grabbed my hand and took me to the music room. And as my mom listened, he and I began playing against each other, fashioning thoughts and emotions into the notes that flowed unstructured from beneath our fingertips. The melodies rang clear, pouring from deep within as I thought of the chaos we'd been through, the faces of my family, and the hurt we'd faced. When it came to an end, the silence, as the notes dissipated, seemed cathartic, and I turned to see Seth sitting on the floor, his back resting against the wall, his eyes closed in perfect peace. My mom sat beside him, resting her head against his shoulder, tears streaming down her face. Aunt Leah was to his other side, doing the same. I couldn't help but bump my father's shoulder beside me.

He nodded softly before saying, "And that is how you make music, Carlie." He paused before continuing. "After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."

"Who said that?" I asked.

"Aldous Huxley…" he smirked nodding to where the rest of the family streamed through the door already asking for various songs "…but at this moment, it's you."

I wondered what he meant, somehow sensing that he was testing me, but then I saw Sam2's face and how it seemed to be full of yearning. When I waved her over, putting her up on the bench in the spot he'd vacated, it was as if I handed her the greatest gift. And as she giggled at hitting discordant notes, I realized that perhaps I had.

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><p><strong>Hope you had a great week! I'm writing hard to attempt to finish up this story in the next few weeks. Hope you are enjoying the outtakes. DemetriElizabeth to come mid-week.**


	74. Declaration of War

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

**As promised.**

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><p><strong>Elizabeth POV<strong>

He'd given me a wrench, but not just any one…it was a Snap On.

It was a fact I couldn't ignore.

It shouldn't have made any difference; I had a whole chest of Snap On tools, but the present I'd found thrown into my back seat told me two things. One that he was a dirty rat…looking into my background, and two, that he was brilliant. Forget fancy jewelry or flowers, the man had given me a wrench. I could analyze it a million ways, but I finally decided to just let him explain. So, it was only with slight hesitation that I pulled into the apartment complex where he lived. He'd done his research, and so had I.

Tapping my fingernails on the steering wheel of my daily driver, a BMW, I shook off the hesitancy and forced myself out of the vehicle. It was probably too late to confront him, but I wouldn't be able to ignore the itchy feeling at the back of my neck much longer. I needed to confront him, and in doing so, rip the connection away that I kept fighting. He was a Fed…just like my grandfather…which I was willing to admit was a problem. Years and years of training and self inspection had ensured that I was well away of my own prejudices and attractions.

Bad boys were my weakness, which is why Demetri Velathri was TNT for me, pure dynamite to my psyche. I knew exactly why I was fighting it. Being here was not a wise decision in so many ways, other than to hopefully purge him and the fascination from my system. I wasn't looking for a relationship, didn't particularly need one, and would definitely not be considering one with a man so much like my cantankerous grandfather.

"_Libby…his family has been the subject of intense scrutiny. Aro Velathri has ties, but no one has ever been able to uncover them. They are deep and there is a healthy fear of him and his brothers within the underground, but the agency has never been able to substantiate a scrap of evidence of wrong doing against them. Your young man and his cousin, however, have been exemplary agents. I know him, you know…"_

My grandfather had left off with that, using his extensive interview skills to see if I would spill as to why I was checking into one said Demetri Velathri. When I didn't fall prey to his manipulations, his voice had turned dark.

"_Libby is he bothering you? The Velathris may hold power, but I can take them down."_

The memory of his certainty was comforting. My cantankerous grandfather…a man who wore power as easily as he did a tie. Was it so hard to imagine why I'd fight against an attraction to a man so much like him? One "Suit" was enough in any family.

I was breaking my cardinal rule, entering a situation before I'd reasoned exactly how it would resolve. I wasn't naïve enough to believe that I wasn't playing with fire, but Demetri Velathri was a bump in the road that I didn't need.

**Demetri POV**

"Yes sir. No, I won't take credit for what occurred. It was a fluke that a family I was familiar with became his next victim," I explained to my field supervisor, eager to get off the phone with him. He'd required a debriefing and looking over to the pictures lying spread out on the table, I knew why. It was bad, really bad. But he was being particularly insistent, which puzzled me.

So it was with some trepidation that I turned toward the door when the bell rang. Answering was as good an excuse as any to get off the phone, but the thought of who would be at the door was disconcerting. Only my family had the address, and I wasn't in the mood to socialize. At the very least, I was going to have to attempt to keep them away from the sensitive items spread all over my kitchen table. My best hope was that it was Jane. She and I could, at least, bounce ideas of one another; she wouldn't be horrified by the faces of so many lost angels.

Heat sizzled along my spine when I looked through the spy piece to see who stood on the other side of the door. Without thought for the gun still strapped across my chest, I pulled the door open to marvel at the woman in front of me. Having seen her in tennis regale, I thought I'd seen her best casual look, but she was stunning in a pair of jeans and soft sweater. A pair of well-worn and obviously comfortable brown ankle boots finished off the outfit. Her blond hair spilled in heavy waves across her shoulders and down her back, and I wanted to wrap my fingers in the mass of it.

"Elizabeth?" I greeted her, unsure of how to proceed.

I'd hoped my gift might spark some sort of contact, but it had only been in my darkest fantasies that she might actually come to me. It made me wonder for a moment just how she'd found me, but then I reasoned why my supervisor had been so insistent I contact him. He'd been feeling me out, probably wondering why a legend was questioning after me. I wanted to grin in pleasure but figured it would ruffle her too much. Ah…little Elizabeth, you aren't without your mechanisms as well, I thought as I invited her into the apartment.

Her eyes quickly took stock of my place, and I wished I'd taken more time to unpack. It was hard to find energy to get comfortable in the space when I knew it was only temporary…the search for the man we'd just found absorbing the time I would have spent looking for a house or condo. Boxes still lined the wall of the living room. My bedroom was almost as bad…the computer room being the only room fully set up and lived in. Even now, the sounds of notifications chiming came through the doorway, and I saw her eyes narrow as she looked in the direction and saw the kitchen table and what lay on it.

"I've disturbed your work," she said quickly.

Grinning softly, my mouth raising more at one corner than the other, I shrugged. "Goes with the territory." Looking toward the living room area, I asked, "Would you like to sit down?" She surprised me by nodding in acceptance. "Can I get you soda or a water?"

She turned to glance back over her shoulder at me, the look inherently sexier than she could ever imagine. "Water is fine, thank you."

When I returned from the open kitchen, she'd sat on the couch, allowing space to either side. It was a test…. So I chose the chair that faced the couch. It was still close enough to her that I could enjoy the smell of her light perfume without risking the chance of me grabbing her and dragging her over onto my lap for what I really wanted. But I couldn't help the smirk that crossed my face when I placed the bottle right next to the wrench I'd bought her. Her crooked eyebrow demanded the explanation I knew she'd come for.

Well hell…might as well just lay it out on the line. "I did my research."

"I assumed so as soon as I saw what it was."

"It wasn't a man thing, Elizabeth. It's just that not many women work on their own cars. As well as your baby is maintained, I made the mistake of assuming you hired someone. I apologize."

"So this…" she waved her hand toward the wrench that lay between us like a line in the sand "…was an apology."

"Yes, a sincere one," I nodded.

"Very well." She went to stand as she continued, "Apology accepted."

The first mistake she made was leaving the wrench on the table. The second was moving toward the door as if we'd discussed everything that needed to be. I quickly blocked her.

"Elizabeth…" I growled out when she came to a halt in front of me.

"What?"

She was so cool and calm. Her demeanor seriously demanded that I do something to get through that shell. I'd tasted her fire once already. Whether or not she would acknowledge why she'd come here was really the question. Was she testing me? If so, she would learn that I didn't run, and I was definitely not afraid to take a few risks.

"You didn't just come here to discuss a silly wrench. Why don't we just have it out now?"

The arched eyebrow that I was coming to adore was back again. "About?"

"Us…that kiss…the fact that I want to do it all over again." I stepped closer to her, gauging whether or not she was going to back down and was thrilled when she didn't.

"Listen, Demetri. I have no desire to get involved with you. I know your kind and have lived in and around them for years. That I adore my grandfather is the reason I can handle his…your…particular brand of machismo."

Ah…come to the flame little moth. Gauging just how close I was and being thorough satisfied with the progress I was making in stalking my prey…I grinned before saying, "I can work with that."

"Are you daft? I just informed you that although there may be attraction, that I have no desire to put in the level of energy you would require." The fire was back, and it made color rise on her cheeks.

"No…you just admitted to the attraction between us…and I can make you adore me, so I'm infinitely better off than I was when you walked in here using that wrench…which is yours by the way and not to be left here…as an excuse."

Her hand came up to my chest, stopping my progress. It was a bad move if she thought it would reduce the sexual tension cracking between us. Her dilated pupils and the delicate flush that deepened across her cheeks betrayed her reaction to touching me and were followed by a soft gasp as she obviously fell prey to the pull. I didn't even attempt to control the shiver of pure lust that rocked me at the mere feel of her fingertips on me. While she attempted to recover, blood flowed to the very male part of me, threatening to steal rational thought from my mind.

"What are you afraid of?" I growled, leaning into her more in order to force her entire hand against me.

Flames threatened to engulf me, and I craved to feel her skin against mine, cursing the thin cotton fabric that stood between me and my desire. I was screwed if the feel of her hand drove me this insane; touching her or having her touch me would make me a blathering idiot.

"Afraid?" she attempted to chuckle but it wasn't convincing. The sound was too laden with desire to pull of frivolity.

But of course, she had to try to remain aloof, stepping another foot closer in bravado. I wanted to groan in satisfaction, but it was a delicate dance I was leading her in, and I refused to misstep.

"No fear here, just good sense." Her hand flexed and suddenly she was poking my chest instead, emphasizing her words. "Our kind don't mix, Velathri. You despise my science, and I despise your lack of it."

I had her now, and the realization made it difficult to keep from smiling in victory. "My doctorate is in psychology, Elizabeth." She gasped at my announcement. "I use our science every day to track the monsters. My prejudice isn't against the healing of the psyche. It's against the belief of most shrinks that all illness can be cured."

"I know that not all people want to be healed; I don't live in a fantasy world," she huffed out, clearly angry with my insinuation.

Trying hard to control my savage satisfaction, I gave into temptation, leaning over to place my lips just inches from hers. "Exactly! See…we aren't so far apart after all."

"I don't need you, Velathri!" she insisted.

And she was right; she most likely didn't need me. I didn't need to be needed…I wanted to be wanted. Being wanted was infinitely better, and if the electricity crackling between us was any indication, the connection between us was strong enough to blind me to anyone else.

But it was then I saw the delight in her eyes, and it became apparent to me that I'd been manipulated expertly. Minx! I was done with playing, so I grabbed her shoulders, bringing her flush against me. This time the groan tore from my chest at the feel of her soft curves against my hardness. Her eyes darkened when she felt my arousal against her stomach, and I watched her lips part softly. But if it was the issue of "need" that required clarification.

"I can make you need me," I whispered against her lips.

"Hmm…" she hummed, the vibrations doing wicked things to me. Then she leaned forward and shocked the hell out of me by nipping my bottom lip with her teeth before throwing down the gauntlet. "I can make you need me more."

It was a dark promise. One I could definitely live with, because at the moment it meant that either way I would get to touch her. The desire that washed over me when our lips met transcended anything I'd ever felt, and devoured was a good word for what we did to one another as our sweaters were hurriedly discarded in a pathway to my bedroom.

"Elizabeth…" I groaned as her teeth sank into the muscle of my chest, my knees almost buckling when she smoothed her tongue over the sting.

"Just this one time, Demetri…that is all." She was attempting to bargain away this heat between us.

I'd deal with her misconception later.

"I have…" my gasp stopped me when she flicked her tongue over my nipple. In reaction, I palmed her full breasts, causing them to billow out over the top of her white lace bra enticingly. Dragging my teeth across the top of the enticing flesh, I lost my way for a few moments, until I realized what I had been planning to tell her in the first place. The throbbing in my cock brought it all back in focus. "I have some con…"

Words failed me as her slender hands brushed over my stomach, causing the muscles there to bunch and jump in lust, on the way to the button of my jeans. When she undid the closure, the sound of her slowly lowering my zipper was barely loud enough to be heard over my pounding heart and gasping breaths.

"You have some…" she left off, leaning over to bite at my neck, and I could feel her smile against my skin as she shimmied her hands between my jeans and boxers. She moaned as her hand encircled me, her body jerking in reaction. I could feel her legs rubbing together in need. "Oh God…" she finally managed.

Yeah…I was thinking about heavenly things as well, like how fucking good it felt to feel her hand caressing me, her thumb rubbing across my swollen head.

"Condoms…I have some condoms in the bathroom," I mumbled, reaching down to grab behind her legs and pull her up so that they were wrapped around my waist.

Moving one arm around her to support her, I began kissing her breast, nudging aside the fabric to take the hard nipple in my mouth. As her fingers tore into my hair, I began stumbling toward the bathroom, using my hand to guide me while my real focus was on the pert tip I was worrying and the sounds of the woman I was torturing. God the taste of her…her skin was like silk.

My hand blindly searched on top of the countertop for the box I'd bought. It had been presumptuous, but after buying the wrench, I'd wanted to be prepared just in case my planning resulted in what I really desired. And here, of course, it was…so thank goodness for the one time I'd been thinking. She laughed softly, tugging my hair for a moment to get me to look up.

"Where are they?" she asked, turning to look around and spied the box in the sink where I'd inadvertently knocked them in my haste.

Stretching out to get them, her action caused us to rub against each other enticingly.

"Fuck!" I hissed at the sensation.

She moved again, muttering under her breath as well. The bathroom mirror gave me a perfect view of her graceful back as she moved, her long blond hair streaming down it in waves. Using the counter to rest her on, I slid my fingers along the skin while I watched in the mirror, intent on undoing her bra. She sighed when the fabric fell away from her, and I stepped back to look at her.

Passion had caused her blue eyes to darken considerably and a high blush to rise across her cheeks. Her lips were swollen from our kisses, and I fully expected for them to only get worse considering the things I wanted to do to them, have them do to me. Her skin was like the finest marble, pure and unmarred. But the rose color of her tightened nipples most allured me, and I returned to them, suckling one while I rolled the other between my fingers. The sex noises she made from my actions fueled the frenzy that had somewhat cooled.

"Demetri…I want you…now," she growled out, tugging my hair in demand as she wrapped her legs around me pulling us snug against each other.

The heat of her blazed against me, burning away the last vestiges of my restraint. I was uncertain just how we managed to dispose of our jeans, but as the final layers of clothing fell away, what followed was a mind numbing joining of flesh, teeth, tongues, hands, and need as she screamed my name over and over again. I pulled out every stop to make sure she remembered it was me that made her feel that way. It was hard to concentrate because the feel of her against me, surrounding me, squeezing me tightly as she fell over the precipice time and time again…the taste of her, her lips, her sex…the sight of her eyes darkening, going blank with passion, closing as I forced her over and over to say my name before I let her reach release…the sound of her cursing, pleading, murmuring my name in the neediest of ways…the sight of her spread out across my bed – MY BED – her lips surrounding me, her exquisite body satiated and lax before I prowled over her again… all of it made me reckless. I wasn't at my finest or my most seductive because I was being seduced as well, and it was an enticing position to be in. But when we finally collapsed hours later, I smiled when her arm went around me, her head resting on my arm just before we fell asleep.

However, it was the smile that stretched across my face when I awoke alone to find her note in the kitchen that told the whole story.

_This means nothing, Velathri._

The note was delicately penned, but it was an invitation to war, nonetheless. Stretching and feeling the faint pull of muscles that had been overtaxed by the night, looking to the destruction of my bedroom, and finding the silk thong underwear that I'd dragged from her body with my teeth beside the jeans I picked up from the floor, I reasoned that the spoils of said war would be worth it.

Whistling in suddenly good humor, I turned to the shower. I needed to go pick out some flowers to send her and some breakfast before I returned to the work that had lain forgotten on my kitchen table. The smell of sex that lingered in my bedroom as I passed through it made me growl in possessive pleasure. She was mine, whether or not she knew it. God…I was never going to live this down with my parents. I was going to have to threaten them to keep their mouths shut about grandbabies for a time.

~SOMP~

"Sir, would you like to pen a message?" the chipper young lady, her eyes still agog at the two dozen white roses I'd ordered to be delivered to Elizabeth's office along with the next present I'd gotten her.

Grinning, I suddenly knew just what words to use to begin my next campaign. She seemed a Byron kind of girl, and I looked forward to our next encounter. So it was that I penned his words.

"I contend that a bargain even between brethren is a declaration of war."

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! I believe lemon writing to be my weakest area, so I hope it met your expectations.<strong>


	75. Phantoms and Vampires

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

"Mama, has Dad spoken to you about Halloween, yet?" Carlie asked after spreading her project out on the kitchen table to work.

Edward had gone to the office for the day, so the house had been quiet. You would think that Leslie should have been happy to know that I'd used the time wisely, having finally finished off the first draft of my book. The email I'd received back when I told her had been priceless and not as jovial as I'd expected; she was upset I was letting Edward look at it before she even got a chance. I'd hit the "send" button on my reply just moments before Carlie walked in.

"No," I said, answering her question.

It was only a week away, the time since our incident with Sam2 and Seth having flown by. Perhaps it was just my perpetually happy state that made the days seem to blend together. Because, to be honest, the date had snuck up on me.

"Well, Aunt Alice is bugging me about my costume. She wants Seth and me to come over for the final fitting. But she said that she needed to make sure yours was going to fit perfect as well."

Huh? I didn't have an outfit. I hadn't even planned for it, having totally forgotten. Seeing the look on my face, she realized I was in the dark.

"Uh…mom…the annual charity event they do for the hospital? Aunt Alice said they have to attend every year. It is a big to do…"

Ah…hence why Edward hadn't mentioned it. I'd placed that "don't take me where you've taken the others" mandate on him. I was certain that it was the reason behind the lack of mention. I hadn't thought about the fact that he would have certain events that he was expected to attend and was betting that he'd begged off from Carlisle. But first, I needed to confirm my suspicions.

"No, he hasn't, but I'll talk with him about it."

"Well, you better hurry, because Aunt Alice said that she wanted us to come together for the fitting."

Of course Alice would already have something prepared. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what I'd be tortured with. Deciding to put it out of mind until I could talk to Edward, I threw my hair up in a ponytail and then started dinner. There would be plenty of time to worry about it later.

It was a comfortable thing…Carlie at the table working while I cooked. We'd done this seemingly a million times before. I smacked her hand when she reached around to steal some carrots from those I was cutting up for the salad, and then I grinned when she moaned, seeing that I was making chicken parmesan. It was one of her favorites.

What was still new to the routine was the kiss and discreet nibble on the neck I got when Edward came through the door. Looking over my shoulder, he filched a piece of the cheese I was using before he too got a smack to the hand. Turning, I tried not to ogle him, but the sight of him in a suit did things to me.

"It'll be ready in a little while," I pertly informed him, trying not to undress him with my eyes in front of our child.

His grin was boyish as he reached to loosen his tie, inadvertently fueling several fantasies. "Let me throw on some sweats, and I'll help with what I can."

"My homework!" Carlie threw out quickly, claiming first dibs on the man.

And so the evening went…an early dinner, quick combined clean up, and then Edward sitting at the table withCarle to work on a science assignment. I relaxed with a glass of wine, plugging in my iPod to listen to as I watched them. As soon as the homework was done, Carlie abandoned us for the better option - Seth. It was then that Edward moved over to the couch beside me, pulling me into his lap.

"Hey, love. I missed you today," he murmured against my neck, dragging his teeth across the curve at my shoulder hard enough for me to break out in shivers.

"Well…you had to be all responsible and go back to work." I mocked pouted.

He chuckled before leaning back to tuck my hair behind my ears. I'd been to the doctor earlier in the week and begun trying out the contacts they thought I could use. But they really irritated my eyes…like seriously. So I'd waited until just before he and Carlie got home to put them in. Not having to worry about the glasses getting in the way was definitely a benefit at times.

"Just for today. I don't have to go back in until next Tuesday, so you're stuck with me the rest of the week and weekend." He waggled his eyebrows at me in lechery.

"Speaking of next week…Carlie brought up the Halloween Bash and asked if we'd discussed what we'd be wearing."

He brushed his fingertips down my arm to link our fingers together. Although I wouldn't say that his face became serious, it definitely became reflective. "I see. I hadn't asked, Bella, because it is an event to which I took dates. Instead, I planned something special," he grinned engagingly.

"Something special…" I murmured, putting my hand into the longer strands of his hair and tugging a little.

"Yeah. It's a surprise." He licked his lips in a nervous way, but it was the only sign of his feelings. "We can dress up if you want. In fact, I can think of a few things I might like to see on you." His voice had turned husky, and I could feel the effect of desire on him.

He was in an uncommonly good mood. That he didn't even flinch about the situation spoke volumes about how he felt. There was no hesitancy or disquiet about letting go of a family event.

"And if I told you that I wanted to go to the Halloween Bash with the rest of the family?" I asked.

That brought his eyes to mine…and the seriousness back. "Bella, we would most likely run into someone from my past."

"I've never said that I wanted to avoid meeting any of them, Edward." It was suddenly clear that I needed to clarify my previous declaration. "I'm sorry, I guess I never thought about what that would mean in regards to some of your obligations. I just didn't want us jetting off to some exotic location where you lived in debauchery."

"Debauchery, huh?" He didn't even let my mention of the past get him down. "Bella, seriously, it's fine. I've done my share of the duty over the years. I don't have to go. In fact, it wouldn't hurt my feelings if we never went to one; it is all about schmoozing with the community anyway." He stopped to assess me, to see what I was really feeling. "Listen, if you want to go, we can. I'm not saying that it wouldn't be fun. You have to know that Alice goes all out on designing the costumes, so she can really get on your nerves about it. It can be humbling, because my mom makes sure that the kids that can come from the hospital do. If I had to choose one of the events I enjoy best, it would be this one…so I would love to go." He brushed his thumb over my cheekbone. "But you and Carlie are my first considerations. She is all for going with Seth, so I knew that she wouldn't care one way or the other. But I didn't want to make you uncomfortable with asking."

I could understand his reason, and I realized I'd set it up. "Tell you what…just ask from now on, and I'll let you know whether or not it works for me. Okay?"

"Sure, but I have to ask…if we go, would you mind us cutting out early? I did make plans, and I don't particularly want to have to give them up."

His expression was so much like a little boy not wanting to give up the possibility of a treat, that I couldn't help but chuckle before saying, "No, of course I don't mind."

"Good," he growled out, just before pulling me to him for a scorching kiss. He was the one that drew back, muttering out Carlie's name. I grinned at how distracted he looked.

"She'll be home soon, and then we can go to bed," I promised, seeing his breath hitch at the thought.

"She's a big girl, let's just leave her a note," he joked. I knew he wasn't serious. He was totally enraptured with our daughter and cherished the ability to tell her goodnight.

"She would bang on the door; she needs that time as much as you do," I teased.

"Yeah…just like she needs my help on that homework." He rolled his eyes at the sarcastic statement.

"It's just her way of letting you in."

He shrugged before pulling me in to cuddle, instead of attack. "Either way, works for me."

~SOMP~

"Oh my God, Alice! How in the hell do you think I'm going to be able to manage all this? And there is no way I'm wearing that corset!" I stomped my foot down as Alice ignored me and continued flitting around.

"You are Christine for the evening, Bella. I've put you in as comfortable a costume as I can, but you have to at least try it! Look, Jasper made me dress as a Southern Belle this year so that he can wear a uniform…sometimes we just have to make sacrifices."

She ignored my disgruntled look and clapped her hands at me, ordering me to strip. The only thing that made me not want to kill her was the thought that if I was dressed as Christine, then Edward would be Erik from Phantom of the Opera. And seeing him in a tux and cape was definitely worth a little discomfort. I had to admit when she was through with me, I looked amazing…my hair falling in ringlets down my back from the rhinestone studded combs, the tight corset making my waist even smaller and my boobs bigger…to the point of spilling out over the lace low-cut neckline of the white diaphanous gown. She even applied a small beauty patch just above the corner of my mouth, saying, "…to draw attention to your lips; it'll drive Edward crazy."

Whatever. He didn't need the encouragement, he was doing just fine coming up with uses for my lips.

A final twirl around me and she declared me ready. "At least I didn't have to use rice powder to make you pale."

With those unflattering words of praise, she left me standing to rush out the door of her bedroom destined for her next victim. I'd barely gotten time to really look at myself again before Carlie walked in. She'd been absolutely ecstatic about her outfit. She was dressed as a female version of Tonto…Seth having been forced into the Lone Ranger outfit by Alice. He'd blushed profusely when the pixie insisted, calling him her hero and fluttering her eyes at him.

Alice intimately knew what Seth had saved Samantha from…she hadn't been a child when she was victimized, but it had been close enough. It was adorable how much Seth blushed around Alice. Carlie had even teased him that she was going to have to start watching him around her Aunt Alice. Seth's gaping mouth at her taunts had caused Jake to laugh hysterically.

"Mama, you look beautiful," she gasped, seeing me for the first time.

I rolled my eyes at her, because she was beauty incarnate. Her long hair had been braided simply, but the soft leather tunic and pants skimmed her body. She was growing up entirely too fast. Where was my little baby? It seemed just yesterday that she was cooing at me. Now it was almost as if I was looking in a mirror. Soon, I suspected she would be taller than me, getting her height from Edward.

"You! You are beautiful. Seth is going to flip when he sees you." She was wearing the bracelet that Seth gave her…the one he'd braided and added small carved animals to. She was also wearing a delicate silver necklace, compliments of Billy. He'd said that if she was going to dress up like a Native American that he wasn't going to have her wearing stupid costume stuff. It was a piece that had been passed down from generation to generation. The soft leather moccasins she wore had come from Leah.

"At least she'll be comfortable dancing," Leah had teased.

Leah and Jake had taken off for a weekend away, since Seth and Carlie would be going home with Carlisle and Esme. Emmie, Ross, Alistair, Jasmine, Sam1 and Sam 2 were to accompany Aro and Cia home earlier in the night. That had been a surprise. I'd thought that Alice and Rosalie would be more hesitant, but after hearing Carlie brag about her weekends with Aro and Cia, it'd been a done deal. I'd only found out about the plans when Edward admitted to the fact that we would also be spending the weekend away after the Bash. My bags were packed and placed in the back of Edward's car, ready for the trip.

"C'mon," Rosalie said, drawing our attention to her in the doorway. The epitome of a French Maid, she was exquisite…so much so that even I found her sexy as hell…and I'd never had any leanings to another woman.

Alice appeared beside her, pulling Esme along behind. I tried to keep my mouth from dropping open, but Esme was even hotter than Rose. Alice had put her in a sexy she-devil outfit, the neckline of the red leather plunging to her bellybutton. Her makeup was dramatic, and made her alluring. I was afraid that Edward and Emmett were going to have a coronary when they saw their mother. My and Carlie's faces must have given us away, because Alice started laughing.

"Don't worry, Dad will enjoy it. I dressed him as an angel…you know polar opposites. He is going to thank me, I'm sure." She snickered before picking up her throw. "We're meeting them there; they've already left with the kids."

~SOMP~

The lights were blinding. Flash after flash of the light bulbs from the press' cameras hurt my eyes, so I focused on the red leather of Esme's bombshell outfit as we made our way through the crowd. Carlie wrapped her arm through mine, giving me support.

"Hey, Bella! Bella Swan, over here! Are you and Anthony back together?"

"Is she his daughter?"

"What happened in Forks? Were you really high school sweethearts?"

Esme fell back to step beside me, taking my other arm. She leaned over and said just loud enough for me to hear, "Guess they've ferreted out the information. Just ignore them."

I did, but she was right. They'd found out from someone.

"Bella, c'mon, give us a picture. Carlie?"

"They'll just say that we are being aloof," I muttered. "They'll take horrible pictures, print them anyway, and then gossip about how we hid from them. We should just turn around and give them a full on, happy picture. It would surely shake them up for someone to actually give in."

"Hell yeah, Bella. I'm game. I look good tonight. It would be much better than any other picture they've snapped of me." She laughed and then pointed to a small sitting area with a large tree. "Over there," she directed and then turned to the press. "We'll give you one minute."

The photographers went crazy, jockeying for position as we lined up…me between Esme and Alice, Carlie between Alice and Rose.

"Smile pretty girls," Esme said, thrusting a hip out in a pose.

I just hoped that I didn't look like a deer in the headlights as it seemed a thousand flashes lit up the evening around us. Our names were shouted out, directions as to how to turn, pleas for certain looks…it was all sent our direction. Rose took charge though, deeming when the time was over. Laughing about the spectacle, she moved us into hotel away from the continued demands.

"I swear if there is one picture posted where I don't look less than spectacular, I'll track them down and kill them," Rose swore, sounding sincere.

Nicely printed signs pointed us toward the ballroom, and I couldn't help but laugh when Esme stopped to straighten one. The carnival sounds hit us before we saw the ballroom entrance. A multitude of people were already present, moving in and around the entrance in elaborate costumes.

"Esme, I would've thought that you would have been here early to oversee the last minute details," I mentioned as we neared the chaos.

"NO!" She turned toward me, grinning. "That was all done weeks before. I hire a team to be responsible for tonight so that we can enjoy it. Certainly they'll find me for details here and there, but for the most part, I'm a free woman tonight. I have Carlisle to chase around, and I plan to take full advantage of the opportunity." She smiled in a devilish manner. The look went well with her costume.

I wondered just how we would find the guys when I saw the crush that was already in the main area. Various games were being played by the patients brought from the hospitals. It would seem that each child won a prize as I saw the attendants handing them out. They weren't cheesy ones either, as I spied a nice stuffed animal and board game going to a toddler. I took a second look when I thought I saw an iPod being given to an older teenager and saw that I was right. It was like Christmas for the kids in October. There was candy, but it seemed to be eclipsed by smaller trinkets. It was probably intentional so that they could experience a little of the traditional holiday.

Hearing a little girl squealing in delight, we all turned to see Emmett, Jasper, and the kids surrounding a girl in a wheelchair. They were helping her with the basketball toss game, and it was obvious that she was attempting to win a large teddy bear. Emmett was expertly lobbing the ball into the hoop for her. Jasper stood beside him in his confederate soldier uniform, while Emmett almost reminded me of Hugh Hefner…in his longue pants and smoking jacket. A pipe hung from the corner of his mouth at a rakish angle. Emmie, Ross, Jasmine, and Alistair had gone for a matching zombie look, complete with ghastly white makeup and blackened eyes. As if Emmett sensed eyes watching him, he turned, his gaze widening when he saw us and his sight landed on Rose. A very lustful look came across his face.

"Oh yeah, baby," Rose murmured, causing us to laugh out loud.

Jasper's gaze on Alice was no less sizzling, but it was more subdued…quieter.

"We'll see you girls at dinner," Esme giggled.

And just like that…Rose and Alice moved toward their husbands as if an unseen force pulled them. The little girl's eyes grew large when she saw Rose and then Alice, but she grinned broadly when Rose took over from Emmett, "swooshing" the net.

"Let's find the boys," Carlie repeated Esme's earlier words.

Seth was our next find. He had Sam1 and Sam2, or Thing 1 and Thing 2 for the night, plastered to his side. They were killing a Skee ball game. Beside them was a young boy in a wheelchair. I was guessing he was a cancer patient if the lack of hair was any indication. He looked to be Seth's and Carlie's age.

Carlie gasped. "Mama, that's Eric. He's from our school. I don't know him well, but he was our star basketball player before he got sick. Seth's talked about him coming back to school soon."

I was also guessing he was going back to the hospital with an iPod as well, because none of the stuffed animals around them would quite do. The shocked look on Seth's face when he saw Carlie was priceless. He was quite dashing in his Lone Ranger outfit, so they made a stunning duo. Even young Eric smiled in greeting at her when she reached their side.

"They are good kids," Esme murmured.

"The best," I agreed.

"Shall we find our angel and phantom?" she asked.

"Yeah!" I was quite ready to see Edward and spend some time with him. Not much farther into the room, we saw them.

Carlisle looked quite the dish in ethereal white angel robes. The wings that came from behind and folded looked as if they were actually made out of swan's feathers. His back to me, Edward stood beside him in a black tux, his bronze hair in stark contrast. I saw the ties from his mask brushing his shoulders. They were talking to three individuals…an older couple dressed as Cleopatra and Mark Anthony, and another female dressed as a nurse. But not just any sort of nurse…a very naughty one. I could see that she was eyeing Edward.

Before we made our way to them, I asked, "Esme, is she one of his old…um…acquaintances?"

She hesitated, which told me enough, but then she said, "Yes. Briefly, very briefly. I don't like her. She's spoiled. They're her parents...Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence. They are the owners of one of the timber companies, founded by some distant grandfather. 'Old Money.'" She said it adorably, just like Kathy Bates had on Titanic before continuing, "She's their daughter, Erica."

I checked my heart to see if it was tearing out, but found it fully functioning and without a single ache. He'd warned me, but somehow it seemed that the warning had less to do with my ability to handle this than the realization I had of how much he loved me. The past week of waking up beside him, being made love to by him, of seeing him sitting beside our daughter working on a project that she didn't need help on - solely for the purpose of having a connection…neither this Erica, nor any of the others, ever had, or would have, that with him. Mistakes had been made, on both sides, but I wasn't going to perpetuate them with reacting. Smiling with good humor, I linked my and Esme's arm to walk over to them.

"Carlisle…Edward…" she murmured as we stepped between them.

My smile broadened significantly seeing Carlisle's eyes widen when he saw Esme's outfit. His pupils dilated, and I got the idea that he wouldn't mind throwing her over his shoulder and running out of the room to find somewhere very private. I saw this in the seconds I watched, but then turned to find Edward giving me the same look. What was it with the Cullen men? Ah…correction…I'd seen Jake with the same look toward Leah. Primal men, then.

But I was certain I looked at Edward in the same manner. The severe black of his tux and the cape that hung across his shoulders highlighted the inhuman beauty of his face. The mask that covered the left side of his face only drew attention to the perfection of the right, and his eyes glittered like emeralds as his gaze focused first on the beauty mark that Alice had applied above my lips and then slid down to my breasts. I actually saw his nostrils flare as if he was some wild animal ready to claim his mate.

"Edward," I grinned impishly, bringing him back to focus. When my attempt failed to work, Esme took over. It was hard not to see the smirk in her face at the stunned men at our sides.

"John, Abigail, Erica…this is Bella Swan, Edward's girlfriend." I held my hand out to shake their hands, and couldn't help but notice that Erica's shake was limp and reluctant.

Sliding my arm through a still stunned Edward's, I smiled up at him. "You have to see Carlie. She is exquisite. Shall we?" I nodded back toward the direction that I'd left our daughter.

"Who's Carlie?" I heard Erica ask as we began to walk away. Her wheeze at Esme's answer drew a great amount of attention.

Edward remained quiet at my side, but iI could feel electricity humming across his skin. I squealed though when he spun us into a small room, slamming the door shut and me up against it. The kiss he gave me was possessive, hot, and long. I gasped for breath when he finally released my lips, his continuing down my throat and across the tops of my breasts.

"Fuck, Bella. I could take you right now against this door." He could…I could feel him through the layers of our clothes. His hands cupped my breasts, and I felt my nipples pebble. "Shit!" he groaned, pushing against me and making my eyes roll back into my head. My moan made him shudder against me, but finally he moved his hands back to my waist. "Please tell me you brought something to cover up with."

"Why?" I preened.

"Because I don't want all the other men around here panting after you!"

Oh…possessive much. I was childish enough to enjoy the fact.

"Did you happen to see what your mother is wearing?" I asked, and my question brought out a muttered string of expletives.

"What was she thinking? Dad was about to have a coronary!"

"Love…I think that was the plan," I snickered. "Now…let me down from the door and let's go find Carlie. What does it matter if other people look at me?" He growled at my words. "It isn't like you aren't getting eyed in that tux. But in the end, we go home with each other tonight."

He pressed his forehead against mine, and the cool of the mask pressing against half of it felt odd. "I want to stay here and take you against this door," he snarled.

God, it would be so easy…but I wanted him to be half delirious with lust all night, that way when it did happen it would be like heaven.

"Edward, we came for the obligation, not to stay in a room locked away."

He muttered, "Don't care" before pushing me harshly into the door again and kissing me senseless. By the end of the attack, I wanted him to follow through with his plan, sighing when I felt his hands on my thighs beginning to bunch the material of my dress.

A soft knock broke us apart. Even before we heard the voice, he was swearing at Alice.

"Edward! Let her out of there. Jasper saw you two entering, and he sent me to rescue Bella."

"Go away!" he swore out at the door and received a set of giggles in answer.

"NO! Come out," she insisted.

I smirked at his frustration. "Baby…we are leaving early, remember?"

He grumbled, but finally let me slide down to the floor. "She knew what she was doing, putting you in that outfit." He huffed, but then grinned at me adorably. "You look delicious, by the way." His voice was dark and silky. It was as if I could feel it sliding across my skin.

I shivered against him. "The way you say it makes me think you want to eat me," I snarked.

As soon as I said the words, I knew what was coming next. His grin turned predatory. "Oh I do, Bella. I do."

He shot his sister death stares when we exited to find her waiting on us. She patted his chest affectionately, and then took his hand to drag us forward to where the others waited.

~SOMP~

It would have been difficult not be enthusiastic about the games, as the kids and adults were having a blast. We'd met up with the rest of the family and walked around the auditorium watching the children. I'd gotten stares from one other woman whom I suspected knew Edward, but I killed her with kindness, smiling in welcome. I could've been wrong, but the fact she stared at our joined hands and the way he pulled me in to kiss my forehead really made me believe that it was more than just jealousy at how he looked.

My thoughts about it were cut off at the feel of Sam2 grabbing the fabric of my dress. Her eyes look like an owl as she stared behind me. Turning, I saw what had caused her fear…or perhaps it was better called preoccupation. Aro and Cia were making their way toward us, and the crowd seemed to part in front of him. He was dressed almost identically to Edward, but his skin had been whitened, his lips had a blood red look, and his eyes seemed darker…more alluring. The dark waterfall of his hair hung to each side of his face in a graceful manner. Top hat on, he was the epitome of a vampire, without having gone overboard. The realism made even my skin crawl. Cia had donned a deep blood red silk gown. With her hair coifed into a stylish upsweep, she too had made herself white. She was the perfect accompanying piece on Aro's arm - a woman who looked even more dangerous than her husband. If it wasn't for the stops he made, kneeling down to pull treats from under his cape, he would've scared the patients. Instead, he was mesmerizing them as he made his way across the floor.

"Aunt Bella…is that Mr. Aro?" Sam2 asked quietly, almost hopefully. She'd taken to calling me Aunt Bella…no matter how many times I'd told her that Edward and I weren't married and even if we were, she would be my sister-in-law, not niece.

"Yes, Sam, it is."

She squealed and took off running toward him. He'd become one of her hero's, rating just below Seth.

Hearing her peals of laughter, Aro's dark eyes trained in on her, and with a broad smile, he swept her up into the air when she met him. Her childlike enthusiasm captured a multitude of glances and a few uncertain smiles. Those around them didn't quite know how to take the dark, seemingly dangerous man twirling the little red haired girl around, her red and blue Thing 2 costume making her stand out against his darkness. Carlie received an enthusiastic hug from them both before Aro and Cia joined Edward and me.

"Ah…how is it that you get to portray the twisted, romantic figure while I am forced to be the dark specter?" Aro asked of Edward's Phantom.

"You've obviously never seen Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise portray vampires. It is considered quite sexy and the thing to be now," Edward threw back.

"Well…lawyers are superior leeches…but I guess it is still apropos." Aro grinned, and the look sent shivers down my spine. The outfit was messing with me, because for some reason I could see the man as some dark, immortal overlord.

Dangerous or not, Aro's presence didn't seem to intimidate the kids we helped, particularly the little ones, when they determined that he had treats to hand out. Carlie helped him as I walked with Cia.

"So…when are you going to give me more grandchildren?" Cia asked not much later, as she watched Edward lifting a small boy to hold him just feet from a basketball goal. The others were at stations around us, doing similar things for other patients.

The child had pointed out a hand held PSP, and Edward was making sure that he "earned" it. We'd been watching them, but I'd been particularly mesmerized by the animation in Edward's face as he helped. The crooked smile and brushes of his hand through his hair as he joked with the boy was seriously messing with my ovaries. I wanted to ask Cia if she was some kind of mind reader, but I turned to find her observing me. My facial expressions must have given me away.

"What?" she shrugged at my look. "You still have a few baby making years left, and I'm hoping for more than just a token one. Carlie was already a young girl when we met you. I want a baby to coddle and change, and I desire to see Aro with spit up down his back."

I choked up in laughter at the image. "Um…Edward and I have to decide to get married first, don't you think?"

"Pfft…" she huffed. "Darling, that man would haul you off to Vegas tonight if you would agree. I just wished that we'd had some clue over the years…during the few times we did socialize with Carlisle and Esme. I knew their son was a worry for them, but I just never asked for details. If only I had…maybe Aro and I could have settled this years ago."

Edward's laughter brought me back into focus. They'd won it, but then something miraculous happened. The boy saw a young girl over to the corner. She seemed lost, as if her attendant had become distracted. She had a scarf wrapped around her head, and with his bald one, I had to assume that she was a fellow chemo patient. He tugged on Edward's cape and pointed to her. Without hesitation, Edward took the young boy's hand and approached her with a mesmerizing smile on his face. Even she blushed under his consideration. As he squatted down so that he and the boy could talk to her, Cia continued.

"The man has a good heart, Isabella. You need to give him several babies to keep him occupied."

I shook my head at her, watching the young boy hand the girl his PSP without hesitation. Edward's eyes trained in on the child, and I knew that the boy wouldn't be leaving without one as well. Carlie and Seth joined him to help, and I smiled in satisfaction seeing Edward drape his arm around Carlie's shoulders as Seth took over, bringing both of the kids back to the game, intent on winning the boy a replacement. It was stupid to feel this way so quickly, but the thought of other children made my heart melt.

"Carlie reminded us that we weren't getting any younger," I admitted to the woman at my side.

"I tell Aro every day that she takes after my side of the family…you know…beauty and brains."

I couldn't help but chuckle at her. She was as close to a mother as I'd ever had, so I guess I could give her the right to claim some responsibility in how Carlie had turned out. She and Aro had been my babysitters on many occasions.

Distraction from the thoughts came in the embodiment of a fairy. "Okay…okay…shall we proceed to dinner," Alice flew in, doing her very best imitation of a Southern Belle curtsying to us before she turned into a dictator and shooing us in the general vicinity of the ballroom.

Dinner would begin for the guests while the kids finished their play. I'd been informed that it was a tradition for the Cullen children to attend dinner and the dance afterward for a short time before being sent home for the adults to have free time. After Cia's comments of just a few minutes earlier, I wondered if sending all the kids home with them might not cure her fantasies. Have six kids under the age of ten in your home would certainly put a new perspective on wanting more grandbabies.

"What are you grinning at?" Edward's velvet voice asked from just beside me. He linked our arms so that he could escort me.

I turned to be bedazzled again by him. "Nothing, really. Just thinking about Aro's and Cia's house tonight. Can't you just imagine them directing a bunch of headstrong, ego-ridden children with ease?"

He smirked before answering. "Somehow, I can."

We both burst out in laughter, drawing attention to us. I saw the other woman again…the one that had stared at us earlier.

"Edward…what's her name?" I asked.

"Huh?" he answered, looking at me like I was crazy.

"The woman over there in the Queen costume." I pointed in her direction and watched as her whole demeanor changed when Edward glanced her way.

"Beverly. She is the director of a local arts program. We sponsored her many years ago."

"How long were you lovers?" I asked matter-of-factly.

Without hesitation, he answered. "A couple of months." He glanced down to capture my eyes. "She has since married and divorced. She was looking for a forever. I didn't have it in me, but she didn't take 'no' very well. She began seeing the man she married immediately after me and attempted to claim their child as mine."

He'd said he was going to give it to me straight and was keeping his bargain. Her eyes drifted behind us, and I knew she saw Carlie. Her face was suddenly livid with rage, and I felt Edward's arm stiffen under mine.

"I'm going to need to talk with her," he declared. "I don't want a scene." He paused, and then pulled me just a slight bit closer. "We'll speak with her," he announced, but the tone was hesitant as if he was asking permission.

What little anger had begun to percolate under my skin at the situation dissolved with those words. He was quite comfortable taking care of it, but desired to know if I wanted to accompany him. The fact he was including me spoke more to my spirit than he realized. Edward wasn't excusing the past, but facing it head on with me at his side. It was all I could ever hope for.

"Yes. That would be nice, because there is just enough of a witch inside me that I don't want her to believe I can't face this, or would back down."

He shook his head at my words, the smirk appearing again. "Bella, anyone who would underestimate you is in for a rude awakening." He squeezed my hand before asking, "Shall we?"

"Of course."

But she saw us coming and fled. My moment came not long later…when I excused myself to go to the restroom. She must have laid in wait. When I came out to wash my hands, she was leaning against the marble countertop.

Without as much as a hello she started in. "He'll dump you too, when he is done with you. You may have been able to have a kid off him, but that won't stop him…when he's bored. Obviously he grew tired of you once, I doubt he'll stay around again."

I used the paper towels to dry my hands before turning slightly to look at her. Then deciding I needed to freshen up my lipstick, I did so as she fumed at my silence.

"If you believe in your words, what is your purpose in confronting me?" I asked finally. Couldn't she see the irony, of her telling me that I shouldn't get comfortable because he'd left me once, but she was thinking to fill my shoes, having been in a similar situation?

She remained silent, and I couldn't tell if she was doing it to make a point or if it was because she didn't understand my question. It would be difficult to imagine Edward being around someone who wasn't intelligent.

"I am just warning you, so that you won't get your heart broken." She didn't care about my feelings. She was just one of those individuals that wanted others to be unhappy if she couldn't find joy in her own life.

"No, you're not. You could care less about the status of my heart." I turned to face her, having finished touching up my powder. "You are just angry that you couldn't find the key to keeping him. Perhaps, if you'd just been a good person…that might have been a start." With that, I started to leave, moving around her.

"Hey!" she snapped out her arm, grabbing mine to keep me from walking out of the bathroom.

"I would remove your hand if you cherish it," I warned.

"As if you have it within you."

Grabbing her hand quickly, I twisted the wrist just enough to make it burn. She gasped at the excruciating pain.

"Look, I have nothing against you. In fact, the next time I see you, I'll smile kindly. But don't mess with me and mine…Edward included."

"Edward?" she asked totally confused, wincing as I let go of her.

And therein lie the difference; she'd become acquainted with only the shell of the man I knew. I didn't even take the time to enlighten her, walking out of the door to find said man waiting for me.

"Everything okay?" he asked, having come to look for me.

"Just fine," I smiled…well, at least for me. The woman still hiding out in the bathroom certainly might say something different.

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><p><strong>So…a year ago today (my birthday), I started posting this story. At first, it was supposed to be a distraction from the chaos of doing a very complicated vampire storyline. But as with all things, I couldn't let it be simple…sigh. I'd hope that I would be able to complete this story today, ie…posting the last chapter – no such luck. However, I will tell you that I am writing on it now. Depending on whether or not I can sweet talk my betas into reading the others quickly, I may start a schedule of posting every other day to get this thing wrapped up. I already have several chapters betaed and ready.<strong>

**I hope you are having a wonderful Sunday. I've just had my traditional birthday breakfast supplied by my kids, and as such, I am on a sugar high. HA!**

**Would love to know what you think…consider it a birthday present.**


	76. Sunrise and the Twin Furies

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

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><p>Bella POV<p>

Dinner was a full course affair, with interruptions every few minutes as individuals came over to socialize. As Edward had warned, I was the subject of many glances, particularly when I was introduced as Edward's girlfriend and Carlie as his daughter. The fact that Edward catered to me hadn't been lost on many of the participants. My favorite interruption was the supervising medical director of the hospital. He was a jovial man, who obviously didn't fear calling it like it was.

"Ms. Swan, it seems you are taking good care of Anthony. But I need him back, even if it is part-time at first as he's proposed. Hurry him up, please." He'd said the last sentence as he kissed my hand, clapping Edward on the shoulder before he and his wife moved on to the next table.

"I like him," I leaned over to tell Edward. "He seems like he would keep you on your toes."

He grinned, moving to place our lips just inches from each other. "You have no idea!" With that he leaned in to give me a quick kiss before straightening. Esme's eyes glowed at the public display of affection.

When the servers starting cleaning the tables, bringing around carts of dessert for selection, the music started. Several couples immediately took to the floor, gracefully turning and moving to the music.

"Okay, just so that we have it out there. You're dancing with me," Edward declared. "I don't want to hear anything about you having two left feet or no sense of rhythm."

"Why not? Because it's true," I argued.

Grinning rakishly at me, he stated, "Doesn't matter. But just to give you a few minutes to orient yourself to the idea, I'm going to ask Carlie first."

And so he did. I had to work hard to keep the tears from flowing down my face. I couldn't see the entire dance floor, but Edward's cape and hair was an immediate focal point for me, so when they did spin by, I could at least see the happiness in his and Carlie's face. Aro joined them, but instead of Cia, he took Sam1. The thought that Jake would have a conniption made me smile. He tolerated Aro, but just barely. Seth offered his hand to Sam2, taking her to a corner to dance in place. She still was shaky on her leg, but at least the cast was off.

The glass of wine I'd indulged in while they danced made me mellow enough that when Edward brought Carlie back, reaching down for my hand, I didn't immediately bite him.

"Edward!" I warned.

"Bella!" he mocked. Then he turned the puppy dog eyes on me. "Please…"

"They're your toes," I grumbled, grudgingly giving him my hand.

My nervousness disappeared though, when Edward took me in his arms, one hand at my waist, the other taking my hand so that he held it against his heart. The room and people around us faded as the soft sounds of a slow dance filtered around us, and I got lost in his eyes. He swayed softly letting me get a feel for the music and then smiled gently. "Just relax and follow me," he directed.

I'd like to think that we were graceful, that the magic of the moment made me look elegant. But, I suspected that at best, we looked absorbed in one another…which was the truth, because as I felt his heart beating beneath my hand the world around me mattered little.

For the longest time, he moved us slowly around the room, silence being our communication as we remained transfixed by the moment. But passion began to flare as our bodies moved against one another with the swaying, and I became absorbed in his lips, particularly the curve of them.

"Bella…" he moaned softly, acutely aware of my mood. When I forced my gaze from his lips to his eyes, he asked, "How long before we can leave? Aro will be taking the kids home in a few minutes; it would be a good time to make our escape."

"I'm kinda liking this dancing thing now," I teased, moving my hips purposefully into his, brushing up against the hardness I felt there.

"You're killing me," he groaned, his hand at my waist clenching a little.

"I can tell," I said of his excitement.

"Now!" he muttered, meaning when he wanted to leave.

Feeling sorry for him just a little, and knowing that I was being taken far away for the weekend, I capitulated. "Okay."

His smile was fierce, then he had me walk in front of him in order to hide what our dance had done to him. Call me petty, but I was happy about knowing how I affected him. As Edward had guessed, Aro and Cia were rounding up the small ones, ready to take them home.

"Aro, we'll help you get them to the car. We're leaving as well," I offered.

The goodbyes were quick; Edward taking the longest with Carlie. She had a secretive smile on her face which made me question just what was going on. But I didn't have time to question as Alistair and Ross grabbed me. Holding multiple sets of hands, we moved from the area, through the deserted games stations where the hotel employees were cleaning.

Remembering my thoughts of earlier, I teased Cia. "You know... After having these six for the night, you might change your mind on that request."

"What request?" Edward asked perceptively.

Cia grinned in a devilish manner before outing me. "On the amount of grandchildren I want and how soon."

Edward didn't even stumble, but a blush worked over his one cheek, the mask still hiding the other. Finally, he found his steam. "How many do you want?"

She cackled in laughter as we made the area where the cars would be brought around. "At least three or four, which means you have to get busy."

A possessive, yearning look crossed his face, and I had to turn away at the stark emotion. I felt like crying again and had to work to keep the tears from pouring.

The shouts started as soon as we exited the building, Aro blocking a group of persistent sharks. He'd already called the driver of his limo, so the black monstrosity awaited, the chauffer holding the door open. The cameras were blinding again. Just the sight of the limo made the kids happy though, and they broke from us, scurrying toward it. I saw Edward hand a card to one of the men and knew that his car would be around soon. While the press shouted out requests, I kissed Aro's and then Cia's cheek, waving goodbye. But when Edward and I turned to go back inside to wait, one of the photographers that had taken a picture of me with the girls earlier, shouted out my name.

"Bella! A picture with Anthony!" He attempted an earnest smile, and I shook my head at him in humor. At least he was trying to be nice.

"How does he know your name?" Edward growled out, having turned toward me.

"Ah…I forgot to mention this…but it seems they know everything now. Down to the fact we were high school sweethearts and Carlie's name." I saw the rage begin to brew in his face, so I reached up to brush my fingertips along his exposed cheek. The cameras went crazy as I grabbed his chin and pulled him toward me so that I could speak privately. Placing our cheeks close, I said softly, "Edward…they are either going to print a picture where we look uncomfortable and aloof, or they are going to print one where we are smiling and showing how much we enjoyed ourselves. The girls and I already gave them a show when we came in. What harm is there in giving them a picture…they'll be all over the mags either way." I pulled back to see his eyes widened at my words.

As he'd taken the chance setting up a "dine in the dark" experience without consulting me, I did the same, linking our hands and looking up to the photographer. "Same place?"

He scrambled to get the prime choice, as I tugged on Edward's hand softly to get him started forward. But the smile he plastered on his face, as he hugged me into his side, showed no signs of hesitancy. The camera flashes were once again blinding as I placed my hand against his chest, ignoring the questions shouted out.

"Mr. Cullen, your car," the bellman announced less than a minute later, giving us the perfect breakaway.

"I can't believe you gave them pictures and then talked me into doing the same," he murmured against my ear as he held the door and then gave me his hand to slide into the car.

They were still taking pictures…I guess he didn't count those. Grinning, I winked at him before he shut the door and went around to the driver's side, pulled off the cape and mask, and got in. The noise and lights at least dissipated as he shut the door firmly. He shook his head at me and then grinned. "That wasn't so bad."

"Ah…just wait until we see the ones they choose. They still might select the one where it looks like I have salad in my teeth or something." That got him to laughing, which was far better than what I expected. He moved slowly as the crazier ones got in front to snap more. I heard him take a deep breath when we finally moved onto the road.

"So…where are we going?" I asked.

"Somewhere where I can strip that dress off of you and do what I've been dying to do all night."

Talk about ramping up the sexual tension with just a few words. My skin went flush and my nipples tightened under the thin material of the dress, just like when his hands were on me earlier. He glanced over and eyed me.

"Exactly," he said of my obvious arousal.

He wasn't the only one who could be a tease, I thought and moved my hand over the low console to place it on his thigh.

"DON'T even think about it, Bella!" he growled out as I smoothed my hand up and down a short section, 'accidentally' brushing up against him. A moan betrayed him as I continued to rub his leg enticingly.

Score one point for me. Then I went for the next. "I could…um…relieve some of that pressure," I offered, licking my lips enticingly. He'd been watching me out of the corner of his eye and almost ran off the road at my suggestion.

"Fuck…not going to make it," he uttered in a pained voice.

"Exactly," I repeated his words…with much glee. Then I brushed my fingertips across him, hearing his hiss just before I lowered the zipper of his tux and felt him through his silk boxers. Before he could stop me, I leaned over and breathed hotly against silk.

"Bella! I…"

"Shh…just drive," I instructed, quickly moving the silk out of the way, so that I could take him in my mouth.

His moan as I surrounded him was all the fuel I needed. Moving my hand, I cupped his balls through the material as I licked and sucked on him. It was about teasing him, not giving in to it…as a way to make him as needy as I was. So each time I felt his balls tighten and his breathing begin to hitch, I backed off. His agonized bark of laughter as he figured out my ploy told me that he was, at least when he could think, determining ways to pay me back.

A bump in the road forced him far back into my throat. Had I not been totally relaxed, it would have most likely made me gag. As it was, he cursed up a blue streak, before settling on, "Baby…please…let me cum down your throat." He shifted, and finally gave up on driving, pulling over to a stop. The car was turned off and his hands immediately found their way into my hair. He hesitated to get my permission, and when I sucked in harshly on him, he guided me frantically, his hips surging up to me.

"Fuck…your mouth feels so good. That damn patch…do you know what it did to me all night to see it there, to imagine your lips wrapped around my cock." He moved for a second, lowering the back of his seat so that he could lean back. The position gave him a view of what I was doing, and I used the moment to pull his pants down so that I had better access.

I looked up to find his face fierce in ecstasy, his eyes slanted and dark, the skin pulled tautly across his cheekbones. Using my tongue, I licked up the underside of his erection and saw him shudder, closing his eyes as he struggled to not let go. Nipping the head of his cock slightly got me his attention. "I want you to cum in my mouth," I told him, realizing I was far past the teasing phase.

"Bella…" he never finished what he was going to say because I moved to take him all in, flexing my throat muscles around him.

I felt him tense as I moved up to swipe my tongue across his head. It was all that it took as he arched into my mouth, crying out as he came. His deep pants of breath filled the air around me as his fingers slowly loosened their grip on me. But he did pull me away from him, bringing me up to capture my lips with his. It made me giggle to know that he obviously had no reservations about tasting himself on my lips, because the kiss he gave me was thorough and did absolutely nothing to relieve the ache between my legs. In fact, the brush of his tongue against mine made me want to feel him using said appendage in a different location. There was no way that was happening in this little car, so I groaned in frustration.

"Do we have a problem, Bella?" he murmured when he broke from me, and I opened my eyes to see him looking at me with intent. The payback would be sweet I was sure.

I decided to be blunt. "Yes…there is no way I can make sure your mouth is on me in this car, or that would be happening right now."

His nostrils flared, much like they had when he'd seen me for the first time earlier in the night. "Perhaps…but that doesn't mean I can't have my fingers in you." As he said the words, he pulled the fabric of my dress down, and I heard a tell-tale tearing noise, just before my breasts spilt out. He lifted me slightly, and his lips were on me before I could even cry out at the destruction of my dress. The ache grew worse as he tugged at one nipple with his teeth and the other with his fingers. But I groaned so loudly that it was embarrassing when I felt the brush of his other hand against the wet silk of my panties. He growled out in shock when he found the split crotch…it'd been Alice's idea, and I wondered if she known we'd take advantage of it in the car. Knowing her…I was guessing yes.

"Fuck…you have to get more of these," he said, releasing me only for a moment before plunging his fingers through. Without hesitation, he circled my clit, causing me to arch into his again busy mouth harder. I needed it stronger, faster… Pushing my fingers through his hair, I moved against his hand greedily and felt the cool of the air as he pushed up the layers of my costume. It was a crazy chaotic mess, my dress, his pants, the small space of the car, but I didn't care until he started to push back against my chest. I cried out in distress when I thought he was going to leave me, but then I felt him, just as he pushed me down onto his erection. Straddling him in the seat, my hands against his inclining chest, he hit me in spots that he hadn't before.

"Oh god…" I panted, moving my hips slightly against him and seeing stars. "Yes…"

It was the last word I said as he let me use him for my pleasure. I was seriously going to get a cramp in my legs at the angle, so I didn't prolong it, pulling up to slam down onto him. I hit my head on the roof when I flung my head back, but didn't care, arching against him in order to have him hit me in the spot I needed. Sweat actually broke out across my bouncing breasts as I became mindless, moving to the needs that took control of my every thought. The sweet relief broke over me at about the same time as I felt him shudder slightly as well. How the man could go twice in a row at our age…I'd never know, but I wasn't about to complain.

I collapsed down onto his tuxedo jacket, drawing in great puffs of air. When I could finally get the shakes under control, I joked, "Okay…we can go on now."

I felt him chuckling below me. "We're there already."

Lunging up, I squeaked, "What?!" I grabbed at the tattered top of my dress, holding it to me so that no one could see.

"Calm down, Bella. We're at the end of the parking lot," he chuckled. But then he had to add sarcastically, "And this discreetness is coming from the woman that almost made me wreck with her creativeness?"

"Hush!" I scolded, trying to push my wrecked hair behind my shoulders.

When I moved from him, we both moaned at the sensation. It was almost enough for me to attack him again. Instead, I plopped into my seat inelegantly. Of course, he looked exactly the opposite as he lifted his hips, secured his pants back, and then let the seat up. Instead of letting me huff, he leaned over and gave me a soft kiss. "Love…thanks to your ingenuity, I just might be able to make it until we get on the boat before I attack you again."

"Boat!" I squeaked again.

"Yacht," he murmured, before bringing the car back to life and taking us slowly across the parking lot.

~SOMP~

"Ms. Swan, if there is anything we can do to make your trip more memorable, please don't hesitate to let us know. We'll begin our voyage after breakfast tomorrow," the captain told me.

He was almost a twin to the actor that had played the captain on the Titanic movie. I just hoped that at the end of this journey, Edward and I weren't clinging to a headboard in the frigid Sound waters. For a moment, I wondered if it would hurt his feelings if I asked for an inflatable raft to keep in the room with us.

For a room we did have…a spacious, luxurious stateroom full of teak wood and rich blues, greens, and burgundies. Edward put our bags down at the bottom of the bed and opened them to hang up what we'd brought. He'd told me comfortable and warm were the key words to packing, and knowing how the wind could whip across the waters, I was glad I'd done exactly as he said.

It was nearing midnight…after our party at the hotel and our little stop in the parking lot. I grinned in remembrance and pulled his tuxedo jacket closer around me. It smelled like him…and was an effective cover considering the neckline of my dress was ruined. Hearing the closing of the drawers in the room, I turned and laughed. Only Edward would put away clothing for a two night stay. Rolling my eyes at his OCDness, I moved to take the clothes he held out to me.

"Let me take the rest of your hair down, and you can change into these so that we can snack before we go to bed." He shrugged toward the bottle of wine, cheese, fruit, and crackers waiting for us at the intimate table. It sat before a fairly large window.

Grinning, I did as he said, letting him removed the rhinestone pins that still held some of my hair back. He used his fingers to unsnarl some of it before running my wide toothed brush to work through the thickness. His actions were intimate but soothing, and I realized how tired I was. Twisting the length around itself, he expertly maneuvered it onto my head, securing it with a wrap.

"Go shower, Bella. I'll organize everything here and take mine after you."

I yawned broadly before agreeing. Even the bathroom was nice sized for a boat, and I made quick use of the warm water to wash away the day and makeup. I couldn't stand the contacts any longer, so after cleaning my face, I threw on a pair of glasses instead. Stepping out in my pajamas and tank top, I found that the bed had been turned down, candles lit, the wine glasses already full and breathing, a plate of snacks fixed for me, and soft music playing. He was spoiling me rotten.

Edward took the opportunity to kiss my forehead quickly before scooting around me to jump in the shower as well. When he returned, toweling his wet hair, he found me curled up on the couch munching on an apple slice before I took a sip of wine. He too had put on pajama pants, but I growled at him when he went to put on his tank. I wanted to ogle his chest. Sitting beside me, he accepted the glass of wine I'd picked up for him. I couldn't see far out the window, but I noticed at least the lightness. The moon must have been shining over the water, for I saw it glittering against the silver of his bracelet.

Edward threw his arm over my shoulder, and I turned to snuggle into him. "I had an amazing time tonight…the games and dancing," I admitted. It was a big admission for me.

He chuckled softly before saying, "I'm glad."

I leaned over grabbing a cheese cracker and handed it to him before taking one for myself. We continued eating in silence for many minutes, just enjoying the feel of one another. But then I realized that the gentle sway of the boat and the wine was about to make me fall asleep. It made me question what we had to do tomorrow.

"So…what are our plans? I mean where are we going?"

"Nothing special really, just a ride down the coast to anchor for the night. Then we'll return on Sunday. I just wanted some alone time with you."

"You just want to be able to shout during sex without fearing that you'll wake up Carlie," I accused, earning laughter from him.

"Well that too," he admitted without embarrassment. "She's coming for breakfast tomorrow morning, before we leave."

Well that was surprising. "I guess that was why she was smirking like a cat that ate the canary, huh?"

He grinned, leaning down to place a kiss in my hair. "Yeah… She's all stoked about being on a yacht. I promised her that the next trip would include her."

"Good call. That might keep her from throttling you."

I handed him some grapes, realizing that during our conversation we'd eaten everything. With the wine, I was seriously taking a nose dive and yawned again.

"Love…go brush your teeth and let's get some sleep."

"But I had plans to attack you again," I whined.

"After your 'attack' in the car, the day, and this wine, I doubt I could do you justice." He tried to hide the large yawn that stretched his jaw. Seeing the moonlight filter over his chest and highlight the thick scars, I relented…although I knew he'd be appalled to know why.

"Okay…but I demand morning attention before our child gets here."

Laughing softly as he stood and pulled me to my feet, he answered, "Yes, dear."

I smacked his arm as he led me to the bathroom, blowing out the candles on the way.

~SOMP~

"Mama!" Carlie squealed as she came over the bridge that connected the dock to the boat.

Edward had wakened me early with his kisses, fulfilling my demands of the night to the point that my legs felt like jelly. I still had to hold to the railing from the looseness of my muscles. He stood beside me stretching like a god, as if the sex had merely made him more alert. Damn man…

Carlisle waved to us, but left. At my glance, Edward explained. "He'll be back to pick her up."

He had been strangely energetic all morning, and I was beginning to believe he was mentally imbalanced. Seeing my look, he nudged my arm with the coffee mug in it. Smug ass. He only grinned at my grumpy behavior. We'd gone to bed late and, of course, I'd challenged him to morning aerobics…so I shouldn't be blaming him. Grinning at the memory of the 'morning aerobics,' I took another swig of the hot java. It wasn't all bad.

Carlie literally danced up the narrow walkway to us. She definitely had to get that from him.

"The chef is serving breakfast in the sunroom," Edward announced as soon as she drew close.

"Well goodie, maybe we can enjoy seeing the sunrise," I muttered, commenting on the fact that it was still pre-dawn, and I was up.

"C'mon Mom, you can make it," Carlie grinned, linking our hands to follow Edward toward the glorious sunrise…sarcasm fully intended.

"So…everyone had a blast last night. Poppa and Meme brought the house down with their samba. I think Seth and I have decided to take lessons, because it just looks so cool. The paparazzi tried to stop us, but Uncle Emmett almost decked one of them. The guy swore that you two had given him some shots, but of course Uncle Em didn't believe him. It took Jasper holding Emmett back to keep it from becoming a free for all."

She kept merrily talking as Edward served us from the buffet that had been set up. The sunroom had turned out to be a totally enclosed glass space. The heater was cranked up so high that it was actually comfortable without our coats, even though I knew the temperature to be freezing from when we'd waited outside for Carlie. It would be spectacular…the sunrise. And in true Edward form, he'd handed me a pair of binoculars in hopes that I could see part of it. As we ate, I saw the light turning from black to gray outside and wondered when he might usher us over to the windows to watch. But for now, we sat close together at the table eating the meal, as Edward watched over us intently. He seemed so intense, and I caught his eyes assessing me several times.

"Look, Dad…it's coming up now," Carlie murmured several minutes later, standing to move toward the window.

Edward held out his hand and pulled me toward where our daughter stood. My view of it wasn't perfect, but it was pretty damn impressive. The grey began to lighten, and then twin rays burst forth, as if they were trying to dispel the darkness.

"Darkness, behold thy cure…twin furies of light." Edward murmured from between us.

The light began to spread across the horizon…hovering over the darkness and spreading a red glow across the rippling water. It was as if the light was determined to cover the gloom and the creatures from within churned the water in an effort to rise and bask in the glory.

"The sun refuses to be extinguished by the dark…instead spreading the eternal flame to bring from the depths the monster…the thing that had been banished."

Edward's words were frankly poetic…describing the scene in front of us. The sun seemed to peak over the horizon, but then disappeared as the water swelled far out at sea. It was as if the sun was facing a battle…to break through the grips of the water.

"But the monster is afraid…fearful to face the world…he battles to keep the sun with him, because to let it go means that he may be alone, without the comfort of the warmth on his face."

The ball slowly rose as we stood at the window watching. Edward's words put a whole new light to the event…almost mythical…but prosaic.

"The goddess…she rises, having convinced the beast to release her. For if he was to hold her, the world wouldn't be graced with her beauty or witness the perfection of her face. But she goes slowly, gently, so that her lover doesn't grieve, promising to return each night, to comfort him and nourish him with her radiance."

The sun turned the sky overhead light blue and the water a darker hue.

"He transforms in her brilliance…the hidden depths of his soul shimmering underneath her glory. Without her, he would always be the endless darkness, but before her, he becomes that which he is always meant to be…full of depth and color and teaming with life."

The golden light shot up again toward the sky and out across the water, as if she was caressing him, giving him one last promise of her return before she broke from him. Was I really thinking of the sun that way? Edward's recital of the poem had generated such an image in my head that it was easy to do so.

"She leaves him with a sign of her eternal love. He reflects this golden light…traversing the world to follow her, mimicking the perfect circle of a ring…promising her that he will love her for eternity."

The sun broke free of the water, and the perfect circle of the reflection was symbolic of the way the water would also encircle the world in his pursuit of her. It was the most beautiful sunrise I'd ever seen, made so by his words, and I turned to tell him. But he was no longer at my side…between Carlie and me. I went to tell him, I was startled to see him just behind us, down on one knee, and I gasped as I saw what he held in his hand. Carlie turned at my sound and she too made a startled squeak. Because the box he held contained not one, but two sparkly rings. The light of the sunrise behind us sent rays, like fire, from the diamonds across us – as the sunrise had along the water. A lover's promise…

Edward gazed at the two of us, his green eyes sincere, fire shooting from them at his emotions.

"I know it is too soon. I know that I have just come back into your lives. But I am the water, listless and dark without the two of you. I will follow you to the ends of the earth, and we can wait until you are ready to fulfill the promise these rings signify, but I need you. Both of you. And I don't want to wait to make my regard for you apparent to everyone, to admit to my need for your love in my life. Carlie…Bella…will you do me the extraordinary honor of marrying me?"

He was proposing…the words about the sun and water, his allegory to represent his feelings and emotions. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard and tears filled my eyes as he remained steady, his hand holding out the box with two rings. Two pleas…

One for his daughter to marry him…and one for me.

It had to be the most unique situation and proposal ever. But had we ever done anything the normal way?

"You wrote that poem for us, didn't you?" I asked hoarsely, the tears in my eyes making the words difficult to form. It had become so clear as I thought back over the words, and how he'd set up the morning.

When he nodded subtly, Carlie reached out to touch his cheek, but then she looked to me, waiting. For it was a joint decision, this commitment. She knew me better than I knew myself at times and saw the answer in my face.

"Yes, Daddy. Yes." She shook with emotion, waiting for me to speak.

He began to argue when I went to my knees in front of him, putting us at almost eye level. But we'd had too much division between us. I wanted to start on equal ground.

"I love you," I told him, putting my hand out to grab his that didn't hold the box.

"As I love you," he answered his voice harsh.

"Tell me the words again…the ones you made for the sunrise and her lover, for us."

"Darkness, behold thy cure…twin furies of light. The sun refuses to be extinguished by the dark…instead spreading the eternal flame to bring from the depths the monster…the thing that had been banished. But the monster is afraid…afraid to face the world…he battles to keep the sun with him, because to let it go means that he may be alone, without the comfort of the warmth on his face. The goddess…she rises, having convinced the beast to release her. For if he was to hold her, the world wouldn't be graced with her beauty or witness the perfection of her face. But she goes slowly, gently, so that her lover doesn't grieve, promising to return each night, to comfort him and nourish him with her radiance. He transforms in her brilliance…the hidden depths of his soul shimmering underneath her glory. Without her, he would always be the endless darkness, but before her, he becomes that which he is always meant to be…full of depth and color and teaming with life. She leaves him with a sign of her eternal love. He reflects this golden light…traversing the world to follow her, mimicking the perfect circle of a ring…promising her that he will love her for eternity."

Had there ever been a more perfect proposal?

"Eternity?" I asked.

"Forever," he swore, keeping his gaze steady and the box with the rings held out to us. I hadn't even really looked, too overwhelmed with the suddenness of the moment…and the sincerity of it.

"Yes…"I answered him, watching his face as the joy began to radiate from him.

"Yes?!" he said harshly, the hope setting his eyes ablaze.

I could only nod, the knot in my throat making it too difficult to speak. The kiss he gave me was so gentle, so reverent that I felt as if he barely brushed my lips…the the kiss of butterfly wings against them. But the slide of metal against my finger had me opening my eyes, and I really saw for the first time the ring he'd bought for me. A solitaire pear shaped diamond graced a platinum band. It was simply elegant and beautiful. I had no idea just how big the thing was, but it was obviously too much. But as I looked at our entwined fingers and the flash of it, I saw the symbolism.

"It's a tear drop," I gasped out as the real ones rolled down my cheeks.

"Hopefully the last one I'll ever give you…well other than of joy." He said the words so solemnly that I looked back up at him.

"I doubt that, but I can remember your hope when I look down and see this."

He nodded in acknowledgement, and pulled me in for a more passionate kiss. Still just lips to lips, but definitely with more fire as the realization I'd accepted his proposal washed over him. The emotions of the moment were overwhelming me as well. The ring should have felt wrong…foreign, but instead it felt comforting and right…just like his love.

"Carlie…" he had to clear his throat before taking the ring he'd bought her from the velvet lined box and placing it on the floor beside the blue Tiffany one. "You've made a commitment to Seth, but until he places a ring on your finger, would you wear this one from me. The jeweler said it was to signify a promise."

I waited to see what he'd chosen for her, and when he slipped it on her finger I wanted to laugh. It was no promise ring. I would lay all my money down on the fact that the ring she had on her finger cost more than most individual's houses. It was a channel cut diamond platinum ring. I was guessing it was as priceless as I suspected the one gracing my finger was. But it was perfect for her…as deceptively unpretentious as the one I wore. I was betting my wedding band was an exact duplicate.

"Thank you," he said to her, the emotion making his voice rough.

She tangled their fingers, pulling him to a stand so that she could wrap her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek into his chest. "Daddy…you aren't a monster. But I promise to always remember that you'll wait for and be there for me."

Edward reached for my hand, pulling me to his side and as the rays of the sun rise burst over us, I thought of the struggles we'd faced and realized how free I finally felt.

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><p><strong>Thank you for all your birthday wishes! They made my day! <strong>

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter!**


	77. Under the Old Oak Tree

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

**To those that have left me Guest/Anonymous reviews of late, please see A/N at the end of the chapter.**

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

"Bella, stop fidgeting," Alice warned. "Perfection can't be rushed."

Taking a deep breath, I looked down at my lap, focusing on the flash of the diamond on my finger. As I so often did when needing to calm, I let memories take me away.

"_Jake…I have something to talk to you about," I announced. _

_Standing in the doorway of his shop, I was intrigued, as always, as I saw him working over the wood he was carving. He grinned broadly, motioning for me to come in. Taking a rag off the workbench, he wiped off one of the stools so that I could sit with him. He'd brought a load of wood back from the reservation, and I'd figured he wouldn't be able to not do a little work on some of it – even if it was late on a Sunday night. I'd been right. _

"_What 'ya got?" he asked, dusting off his hands and turning to face me. _

_I couldn't help but want to postpone a little, so I asked instead, "How was the trip?"_

_He shrugged his huge shoulders. "It was good. Dad and I went fishing, and, of course, all the boys that were in town had to come harass us."_

"_Did you and Leah have fun getting away?" I asked the more important question. _

_His wolfish grin answered it. "Oh yeah…" _

_He laughed seeing my grin. Jake and I had to sometimes put the brakes on just how much information he shared. It was as if he saw me as a guy friend with whom he could share everything. TMI often occurred. Either way I was screwed, because I usually heard the other side of the story from Leah. _

"_How about you and the redhead?" he asked, turning to grab the thermos of coffee. Turning the cup that covered the end over, he poured me a measure of it before filling his._

_I couldn't help the smile that cut across my face. After Carlie had left, floating on cloud nine, Edward had used the rest of the weekend to thoroughly make sure I had no doubt as to how much he loved me. My body was still humming from the emotions and sensations the man pulled from me. Flashes of the numerous times we'd made love ran through my mind…up against the railing as I faced out to sea and a thick blanket protected us from the frigid winds…the next morning in the sunroom as the sunrise exploded again over the waters…in the bed…the shower…the stateroom floor and couch. These were just a few of the times. _

"_I take it the weekend was good." His sarcastic tone brought me back to reality. My blush had given me away._

"_Oh yeah…" I repeated his early reply. We shared laughter again before I finally manned, or womaned, up. "Jake…he asked me to marry him. Or I guess I should say, he asked Carlie and me to marry him."_

_I waited for the reaction and only got his solemn gaze. "And what did you say?" he finally asked._

"_Yes…"_

"_Well then, I guess he can calm down. He was a nervous wreck when he spoke with Seth and I, and I thought I'd have to call his father to give him a tranquilizer." Jake chuckled about his words, but I was in shock._

"_When he talked to you?" I choked out._

"_Yeah…when he came to ask my and Seth's permission for your hands in marriage. He was even worse when Leah helped pick out your rings…or at least she said so…"_

The memory of that moment in Jake's garage threatened to overwhelm me as I shifted under Alice's care. It still blew me away that Edward had been so old-fashioned as to ask Jake for my hand in marriage, much less think to ask Seth for his in regards to Carlie. That Leah had kept quiet about going with him to Tiffany's was even more shocking. So it shouldn't have surprised me when I followed through with a hunch and made a phone call.

"_Isabella…" Aro said in a tired voice. _

"_HA! I knew the kiddos would wear you out," I laughed. "Told you so."_

_His chuckle was full-bodied. "Oh my dear…how little you know. The children were fine. Cia and I had an incredible time with them. It is her fault I am feeling like an old man. It seems that seeing me with a gaggle of children makes her frisky."_

"_LA LA LA LA LA LA…" I started shouting, unwilling for him to go any further. _

_He started laughing at my juvenile behavior. Then he went for the jugular. "So how was your cruise with Edward?""_

"_I told him yes," I cut to the chase._

"_Hmm…very well." Then he went silent. Damnit._

"_Did he come to you to ask for your permission?" I finally asked after waiting a few moments._

"_Isabella, there are some things in life you just don't have to know everything about." He was teasing me. _

"_Aro…" I growled and got a small chuckle._

"_Yes, my child. Of course he did, but only after approaching Jacob first, as was appropriate. He visited Cia and I last week to tell us of his plans. He was quite thorough, I must admit. He had a multi-layered plan of attack in the event you refused the first time. Cia told him that you wouldn't, but I made him at least tell me what he had in mind before I gave him my permission to ask. Just between you and me…you might have been better off strategically to make him work for it. Some of the events he outlined were quite dramatic."_

_Through the shock of finding out that Edward had not only gone to the Blacks but also the Velathris, I couldn't help but laugh at his sarcasm. "Only you would want the drama," I snarked._

"_No. But it was nice to see that he had thought through every complication. It made me like him even more."_

That night, after Carlie had fallen asleep, Edward was well rewarded for his "strategic work." The flare of his eyes, as I'd bound his hands to my headboard and proceeded to tease him unmercifully until he was begging me, would forever be one of my cherished memories.

"Why are you grinning like a Cheshire cat?" Alice asked, dusting my face lightly with powder.

"Just remembering the weekend Edward asked us to marry him," I said softly.

Alice's smile was brilliant. She'd gone crazy when we visited the house the day after we'd come back from the trip, and she'd seen the ring on my finger. Her shriek had brought everyone running…afraid that something bad had happened. When she'd seen the ring on Carlie's finger, it had gotten even worse. Edward had called and asked for us to have dinner with everyone…to tell them the news…but Alice's reaction spoiled the plan to quietly announce it over the table…like civilized people. In retrospect, it couldn't have turned out more perfectly, because the reaction each individual had was so spontaneous and heartfelt. Dinner had been delayed as wine was brought out for toasting. It was determined that even Carlie should have a glass as the occasion was so special.

But the iconic moment of the night had been when Alice stood up in the middle of dinner as if she'd seen a ghost. _"WHEN! I have to start planning!"_

"_Calm down, Alice," Edward replied drolly. "Bella and I still have to discuss the exact date."_

He hadn't pushed me on that issue, having told us during the proposal that he was willing to wait for us. Little did he know I already had a plan.

"Stand up for me, Bella. I want to see if your hair is just right," Alice begged. She twirled her finger making me spin around like a Barbie doll on a stand. Carlie giggled from my side. She'd already been the subject of torture and was just sitting back to enjoy the show.

"Perfect! Okay…" she flitted over to the full sized mirror that she'd covered up and with a flick of her wrist pulled the sheet off.

Before me was an angel…a dark headed beauty clad in a winter white velvet wedding gown. Alice had fussed about how cold a Christmas Eve wedding would be, particularly outside in Forks, and how little time my spontaneous announcement at the dinner table gave her to plan, but I'd been insistent. I wasn't waiting another year to get married, and I was adamant that we'd do so on Christmas Eve. Edward and I had admitted our love to one another on this date many years ago, and I wanted to marry him on it. His face when I explained my impromptu announcement had told me I'd done the right thing. Edward may have been willing to wait, but his hope was to be able to call me his wife as soon as possible.

So to work around the weather of my choice, Alice had designed deep, blood red overcloaks that would perfectly set off the white of both my and Carlie's gowns. It combined the festive season with the "couture" recommendations for an outdoor winter wedding. The fact that there was snow on the ground would only make it more dramatic. She'd only had to let my waist out a little in the final fitting…

"_It's your brother's breakfast cooking that is to blame. I've never eaten so much in the morning in my life, Alice."_

"_Pfft…you're still too skinny," she'd muttered._

"_As if you have any room to talk," I'd snarked back._

A knock on the door interrupted us and my meanderings. Jacob stepped into the room, handsome as sin in his black tuxedo. The wolf whistle that Leah gave him from her seat made a faint tinge of color appear on his tanned cheeks.

"The crowd is about to head out to the meadow, Bella. Are you two about ready?" he asked softly.

"Yes..." Alice chirped for me. "We just have to add a few embellishments. New for both of you are the gowns. So we have to accomplish borrowed, blue, and old."

Jacob smiled softly and held up a small bag. "I have the borrowed."

I was curious as to what he had. He'd made sure that Alice knew he would be providing this early on in her frantic planning. I knew they'd talked, but I was uncertain as to just what the bag held. He grinned secretively at Leah before pulling the string. When I saw what was inside I tried not to burst out in tears…the wedding and the planning over the last few weeks playing havoc with my emotions.

Doe skin boots so that I didn't have to suffer through heels. They were his mother's and would fit Carlie and me perfectly. Waterproof, they'd help keep our feet toasty warm and would be hidden under our gowns. They were perfect in functionality and sentiment. Jake's mother had died when he was young, and so his mementos of her were precious. Leah had worn one of the pairs on their wedding day. It was tradition for him and a way to honor us in a Jacob fashion.

As Carlie and I tried to stop the tears, Jake came over to place them on both my and Carlie's feet.

"Okay…" Alice sniffed, trying to get herself under control. "Old and Blue?" she asked around the room.

"I have those," I admitted, going over to the bag I'd brought with me. I reached in pulling the two smaller boxes out and moved to Carlie. "This is for you. I always wanted to give it to you on your wedding day…so since it seems that you'll have two, you'll just have to take good care of it for later."

She carefully opened the box to find my Grandmother Swan's haircomb. It was an intricate silver piece, studded with sapphires. It was the only piece of jewelry I hadn't melted down to make Edward's bracelet. It wasn't an expensive piece, but in memories it was priceless. I could remember her carefully placing it above the bun in her hair for special occasions, her thin fingers expertly weaving it through her progressively graying hair. Carlie had never met her, of course, but she'd heard a multitude of stories.

"It was your Grandmother Swan's, but now it'll be yours."

Her fingertips brushed over the delicate metal, tears threatening to fall. "Thank you, Mama."

She handed it to me to position in the intricate braids that Rosalie had done in her hair.

"And what about you?" she said, reaching up to touch the comb gently when I was done.

I smiled handing her the box to open.

"Mama! Where did you get this!" Her voice was almost breathless. "I've never seen a necklace like it."

Leah leaned over to see, but I saw that Alice had gone still at the words. When Carlie turned the box to show Alice and Jacob what it contained, I heard her gasp of breath. I turned to find her leaning against a chair for support, crying.

"Don't!" I warned her, trying to keep from ruining my makeup.

"He thinks that you had to sell it to support you and Carlie," she whispered, her eyes never leaving the necklace cradled in the box.

"I almost did, but I just couldn't let it go."

"What?" Carlie said of our cryptic conversation.

As I gently picked up the platinum and sapphire bird nest, allowing the delicate chain to dangle through my fingers, I explained. "Your father gave me this on Christmas Eve…under the tree where we are going to get married. It was the first time we admitted that we loved one another."

Carlie squeaked realizing the significance of the date I'd been insistent upon and the gift I held in my hand. "Will you put it on me?" I asked, holding it out to her.

Her hands shook almost as much as I remembered Edward's doing as she secured it around my neck. It had been almost fifteen years since I felt the weight of Edward's gift against my skin, yet it was as if the last piece of the puzzle, that had been missing, slid into place as the platinum…yes not silver, I smirked…settled against me.

Alice still hadn't moved, patting at her eyes.

"Bella, we need to be going," Jacob stated, picking up my and Carlie's dramatic red overcloaks.

Alice left only after checking our makeup again, and Leah followed her after kissing our cheeks. It left only Jake, me, and Carlie. He shrugged on his own long traditional black coat, and after kissing our foreheads, he squeezed both of our hands, before tucking them through his arms to lead us to Edward.

The silence of the evening was peaceful as we strolled through the winter white woods, an occasion snowflake floating past us. There was no wind, and with the extra layerings under our gowns, boots, and the red velvet cloaks, I was quite comfortable. I suspected, though, if we stayed out too long that my nose and cheeks would be red. We passed my favorite whimsical bench, and I thought back to when I'd first seen it, remembering that I'd ascribed it a perfect example of Edward's tenacity. Knowing it would be just a few more moments before I saw him, I became giddy. Too much so for a thirty something year old woman, but we'd intentionally stayed apart the last week, seeing each other only last night for the rehearsal. All I'd wanted to do was tell Alice and Rose to let me out of my "well thought out plans," because I'd needed to spend the night in his arms.

Knowing I'd faltered, they'd made me show Esme around the house. Her enthusiasm for what Edward had done with it had at least taking my mind off the man.

"_I still can't believe he did this,"_ she'd said, misting up.

She'd been shocked when he admitted to her that he'd purchased the house. Of course, he'd had to do so as soon as I said where I wanted to get married. But he'd made her wait for the rehearsal dinner to see her old home. Her reaction to it had been one of great awe and emotion. Our celebration had consisted of a buffet of food, tree decorating, and dancing to old albums. Remembering the first Christmas Eve I'd joined the family here, I knew that Edward couldn't have chosen a better plan. Even Billy had come, adding the final touch to my family.

But at the end of the night, Rose and Alice had forcibly sent him away…to stay at the lodge with the rest of the family. I was too tired for a traditional bachelorette party and had told them I didn't want one anyway, so Alice, Leah, Rosalie, and Carlie had stayed with me. We'd had glasses of wine, only one for Carlie, and giggled into the night. I heard more stories about Emmett and Jasper than I ever wanted to know, and busted on Jake quite a bit with Leah. Carlie learned about her father's mischievous past…pre our breakup. Her only response had been, "Well that gives me ammunition for when I get in trouble."

But I'd still missed Edward by my side, so as we moved to just where I would be able to see the tree, I couldn't help the thundering of my heart.

A multitude of individuals stood along the forest line, keeping me from seeing him. As Jake stopped just at where the forest ended and beautiful piano music began, I cast my eyes forward, and one face stood out.

Robert! He smiled broadly catching my gaze on him. He'd come!

But of course he would…

"_Edward…get my phone will you!" I called out from the bathroom. I'd just settled into the tub and had no desire to leave the warm water. _

_I heard it stop ringing and then the sound of his voice as he carried on a conversation with the person. Closing my eyes, I relaxed back against the towel I'd put at the back and indulged myself in the quiet. But just a minute later, I sensed him by me and found him looking at me with a smirk on his face._

"_If you'd just put some headphones on…you could fuel a Pretty Woman fantasy."_

"_Pfft…" I splashed some bubbles at him._

"_It's for you," he said holding out the phone. _

"_Can I can them back?"_

_He smiled cryptically before saying. "You'll want to take this one."_

_I couldn't help the puzzled look that came over my face, but I dried my hand off on the towel and took the phone out of his hand. Edward kissed my forehead and then left the bathroom to give me privacy._

"_Hello?" _

"_I'm sitting here in the middle of the night, just waiting to call you at an appropriate time…and what do I get welcomed with? I get to hear that you're in the tub and about another man's fantasies?" Robert's dark, silky voice came clear across the line, and I squealed, almost jumping out of the water._

"_HEY!"_

_His chuckle was a sound for sore ears. He let me babble for many minutes…asking about the job, the family, a girl, and all the other normal questions before he zinged me. _

"_So…when do I need to have my ticket for Seattle?"_

_I took a deep breath, trying to ignore the faintest tinge of hurt I detected in what he admirably tried to keep a totally jovial tone. "Are you some kind of mind reader or something?"_

"_Nah… Edward told me while he informed me that you wanted me there, which meant he wanted me there for you, and that he would like to meet me." _

_I almost dropped the phone into the water. We'd talked about it certainly, but I'd thought I would be the one to have to lay the ground work and attempt to convince Robert to come. It would seem that Edward had taken the initiative to let him know that he truly wanted to allow us to have the opportunity to remain friends. _

_When I told him the details, his only response was, "So…the biggest obstacle we face is how I'm going to tell my parents that I'm going to be a day or two late for Christmas."_

Winking at me, Robert took Leslie's hand and linked it through his arm. It was a shame that there'd never been a spark between them. They remained co-workers, solely…Robert having even set Leslie up on a few dates. I wanted the all-encompassing passion for them both, so I'd never even suggested that they "try."

The music distracted me then, as I marveled at the intricacy of the piece and the flow of the notes over me. It was hauntingly familiar, and I recognized strands of it as things I'd heard Edward practicing. Realization flooded over me that it was him playing on the recording, and I remembered that he'd insisted on being in charge of the music. I knew then he hadn't just chosen…he'd composed.

I closed my eyes for just a moment to allow his love song to wash over me.

The anticipation built so that even when Jacob started the traditional march down the makeshift walkway our friends and family had made by lining each side, the faces I should have been focusing on seemed to blur past. Felix and Demetri, with Jane and Elizabeth to their sides…Aro and Cia, Marcus and Didyme, Caius and Athenodora. Even Mrs. Slagle stood next to Seth and Sam1 – bundled in a multitude of layers, and a hat over her upswept grey hair, her gentle eyes twinkled. Edward had won her over as soon as she met him.

Then came Billy, sitting in a chair with a traditional blanket wrapped around him…Sam and Emily. The other Quileutte were all present, their significant others and children beside them, and then came the Cullens. Esme held Sam2's…or Samantha Cullen as she was quick to inform everyone now…hand in one. Young, tragic Madison clung to the other. She was caught up in the magic of the moment, but the demons still haunted her eyes. We were working on that. Alice and Jasper…the kids. Then a grinning, ecstatic Emmett, Rose, and their babies. My eyes caught Carlisle's next. It was intentional, because I knew as soon as I saw Edward, everything else would fade away. The elder Cullen smiled serenely as he stood as best man. He and I'd spoken at length after my and Edward's engagement.

"May I refer to you as my daughter-in-law now without the fear of getting strangled?" he'd teased, referring back to our encounter where he made the mistake of doing so without my permission.

Hugging him, I'd teased back, "Now you can."

But as the excitement threatened to burst out of me, I moved my eyes to where I knew Edward stood. My breath caught when I saw him, and I stumbled slightly. Had I not been hanging on to Jake, I would have fallen. I should have been offended by Jake's slight chuckle, but I couldn't focus on anything other than the fallen angel that stood waiting us. If I'd thought him magnificent in his tuxedo at Halloween, I had to admit that he was entirely ethereal as he stood against the stark backdrop of the leafless, gnarled, beautiful tree and the snow. The smile that broke across his face upon seeing Carlie and I was luminous.

Time, sound, and awareness slowly washed away as I took in the man who awaited us. Everything…everything in my life…in our lives, had brought us here. The moment seemed surreal.

His eyes had fixated on Carlie, and I watched as he gazed upon her with the purest love and tears gathered in his eyes. It was perfect…that I would get this moment of unguarded emotion between them, so I waited for when I could have my own moment of communion. And then it happened, and the superfluous floated away when our eyes met. He remained ensnared with me for the longest time…far longer than was most likely polite because Jake had brought us to a stop before him. But those around us gave us the privilege.

Then his gaze started to take in my dress, and he made a startled sound that barked out in the still twilight around us. Ignoring all that was proprietary for a wedding ceremony, he stepped quickly to me, pulling me out of Jacob's grasp and placing his hands around my face. Emotion blazed in his eyes as he gazed down at me, and I could feel the trembling of his hands. Slowly, while his eyes remained locked with mine, his fingertips brushed down my neck…to where his necklace lay against my skin…just above my rapidly galloping heart.

"Bella…" he forced out in a gravelly, emotion laden tone, before the tears began to spill over and down his face.

I brushed them off quickly with my hands, placing my tear wet fingertips to his lips. Batting my eyes furiously, I attempted to keep my own from ruining my makeup. Thankfully Alice had put waterproof mascara on me or it would have been bad. Instead, she came to the rescue, quickly putting a tissue up to me to keep the tears from running tracks down my face. It was poignant and funny all at the same time.

"Edward…you are supposed to wait until Jacob gives you her hand!" she admonished, but smiled brightly when he finally released me.

"I love you" he mouthed before looking back down to the necklace again. He dashed a few more tears away before he stepped back to where he was supposed to be standing. His actions earned good hearted laughter from our guests. There wasn't a one of them that wasn't aware of what this day meant to the two of us.

I looked up to Jake and found his eyes glassy, but he smirked when I put my hand back through his arm and squeezed gently. Tough man Jacob was known to shed tears at times. I'd only heard through Leah and Carlie on the occasions he'd been caught, but it was nice to have a memory of his "softer" side for myself.

Angela's father had agreed to perform the ceremony. She, herself, had wanted to come…our telephone and correspondence showing that our friendship had been solid, and that she had diligently attempted to find me. We had plans to meet after the first of the year so that I could see her, Eric, and the kids. But for Mr. Weber, he had been ecstatic to help. He was approaching retirement, but when I'd called him, he'd jumped at the opportunity. He was a good person, as had been obvious by the fact he didn't blink an eyelash when Carlie had walked into our pre-marriage counseling with us.

"Well…well…if I had to choose the last marriage ceremony to perform, I would say that doing it uniquely is a fine way to go," he'd grinned with glee.

He announced pretty much the same thing as he welcomed the guests.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Edward Cullen, Isabella Swan, and Carlie Swan…"

Oh my God! I was getting married!

The rush of it made me light headed, and I almost felt like I was going to fall over, again thanking the all-mighty for Jake's solid presence.

There had been a moment of disquiet when Edward and I discussed that Charlie wouldn't be here to witness our marriage. But Billy had helped me with it when I spoke to him. "Bella, your dad will always be with you." His simple but sincere words had helped me to settle. But in my father's absence, there had been no one I would consider giving both me and Carlie away other than my best friend. Aro had been assured the father-daughter dance at the reception; Jacob had reasserted his rights on Carlie for that.

The words that Reverend Weber spoke at first were so traditional to all the weddings I'd been to that I use the time to gaze at Edward. His lips quirked as he did the same, spreading his attention between Carlie and me.

"Who brings these two to join in matrimony with this man?" Reverend Weber asked, beginning what would make this ceremony simply…us.

"I do," Jacob replied, taking first Carlie's hand, kissing it and then placing it in Edward's outstretched one.

He gazed solemnly at me for just the bare second before handing me over, and so many memories flew through my mind, that I was overwhelmed. The majority were things done and lived while I'd been blind, so the visceral reactions overshadowed the visual ones…but I saw him as the boy that had been my friend when I felt no one else was…I felt his hands helping me to accomplish Carlie's first diaper changes, running beside me as she learned to ride a bike, picking me up when I fell, cursing me when I was obstinate, being my punching bag literally and figuratively when I needed it. I could remember the feel of his heart beat as I laid my cheek against his chest as I sobbed unmercifully, angry at anything and everyone. I remembered crying as he told me my father had died. I thought about the days I calmed him down…when just a touch of sanity needed to be present. And I relieved the expression in his face when I'd accused him of loving Leah, but being too stubborn to admit it…the peace that settled over him when he finally did. I'd forcibly taken his hand that day and pulled him to Leah's house, placing his hand in hers. I did the same the day they got married…serving as his best girl.

Now he was placing my hand in another's. For the barest of moments I felt panic…he'd been my rock. But the sense of home I felt when Edward intertwined our fingers settled it all back down.

"Jake, wait!" I said quickly as he started to step away. "Come here," I begged.

Placing my free hand along his cheek, I patted his face softly. It was our sign of affection. One that had been born out of me smacking the hell out of him during one of my early learning experiences. I'd been getting coached by a man from the hospital in how to live with my disability, and I'd pitched a fit when I kept dropping things. Jacob had just encouraged me, and I'd blown a gasket on him…lashing out in anger. He'd stood by me until the horror set in and I fell to pieces…patting at his abused cheek in true disgust and regret at my actions.

He grinned at my reminder and bent down to kiss my forehead before moving to stand by Seth. Leah, who was serving as my Matron of Honor, smiled at the moment between us. She was a bigger woman than anyone gave her credit for.

The words of the simple ceremony were peaceful. To cherish and honor…to be a family…to support and love…to stand by one another during the midst of storms. Words that would bind us forever, and make us one. But I could only focus on Edward and Carlie, my gaze fluctuating between them as she and he repeated the words they'd agreed upon. I was glad that Alice had insisted on a professional photographer and recording, because my mind buzzed with so much emotion, that I barely got the words out, and I knew that I wouldn't remember much more than the look of awe of Edward's face. Carlie was much more eloquent when she stood before the crowd and pledged her desire to take his name.

She'd had a long discussion with Jake, wanting to know his thoughts. He'd startled her with his answer.

"Little one…you'll have my name soon enough. You'll be a Black within a few years and for far longer than you'll be a Swan or a Cullen. In the end, we'll help you get back to what is right."

He'd burst out in laughter as she chased him from the house.

But if I remembered anything from my wedding day, it would be the way that Edward growled out the word "forever" as he slid the wedding band over my knuckle.

Forever indeed.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Just a few more left, and my tale will be over.<strong>

**For those who may have left me anonymous/Guest reviews, I was unaware that I'd left the "Anonymous" reviews disabled. So, many of your comments have not been counted or been available on FF for other individuals to read.**

**I had a particular reviewer bring this to my attention, so I'm attaching his/her (or possibly two separate reviewers) comments here – I hope this proves that I am willing for all comments, positive or negative, about my story to be posted. I apologize to all those that have taken the time to write reviews and have not been given the credit for your time and consideration. By the way, anonymous reviews are enabled now - review away.**

**To the second guest, I must admit that I have never aspired to be in the same league as Mrs. E.L. James (as I believe she likes to be called now). In fact, I've never even mentioned writing original fiction – although I have been offered the opportunity from several publishing sites. I've made a personal commitment to finish off my fan fiction stories before I complete the original novel I've started.**

anon:I gotta say this isn't fanfiction, it's a fairytale. The ease at which  
>Bella and Carlie have accepted Edward and the rest back after the unforgivable<br>way they acted is pathetic and would only happen in a fairytale. I must say  
>the story is infused with juvenile writing. Everything is magical, mystical,<br>god-like, etc. The descriptive words you use do not add color to your writing,  
>they simply make it humorous in how juvenile it sounds. People simply do not<br>speak or think that way except in fairytales. Thus, back to my first point,  
>this is not a book of fiction, it's a juvenile depiction of a fairytale. I<br>have read your other stories and they were very good. They did not suffer the  
>same fate as this one. Your writing talent is far better than this story and<br>plot represent.

guest:How interesting. U only post the positive reviews and hide he negative  
>ones. Cant handle anything other than someone blowing sunshine up ur **? U<br>definitely don't have the thick skin necessary to b a writer or even imitation  
>fanfiction writer. And just in case u ever thought for a sec u might b able to<br>follow in icy's footsteps and get published - not a chance. Ur writing and  
>plot development is juvenile and appears to b written with a thesaurus<br>attached to ur hip.


	78. With this Ring

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

**I was asked by a reader to explain the symbolism of Edward marrying Carlie, and I hope that this chapter helps, but I'll go a little further into explaining this character's thought process (or my writing of it). It may have seemed awkward to some, and I can accept that. The tradition comes from my heritage, in which a man would commit to the family of his chosen bride. It is a tradition that he provide gifts to the family, so in this instance, Edward would give a gift and ask Carlie to join him in this commitment. The brother of the soon to be wife would be the one to give her away on the wedding day, but only after the groom had asked all family members for permission. In addition, I've been a foster/adoptive parent for so long, that I know how important it is for those being incorporated into a family to be honored in some public manner. Hope that helps.**

**I've also learned that each person must have their voice, which is why I included the comments I'd received in the last chapter. I respect that the readers felt the need to express themselves and felt guilty that I'd done something that hindered that process. I can accept constructive criticism, which I feel the one comment gave me. I can allow those that just don't like the story to also have their say. Apologies given to all the others that left me many positive comments that didn't appear in my reviews due to my mistake with FF. I appreciate that you take the time to read my story and even more comment – even when it may be that you don't like something. I love it when I hear that you do.**

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

The doorbell rang, and it was surprising that I could hear it over the noise. The chatter of happy laughter and conversation pervaded the house, so much so, that to even hear myself think was proving difficult. But it didn't matter. I was flying high, ready to move toward Bella's and my tree for the wedding in the next hour or so. The minutes were moving like molasses on a cold morning. Upstairs, Bella and Carlie were getting ready, and I just wanted to run up and tell them to forget the dresses and makeup, to throw on some sweats, and let's get it done with.

But I wouldn't, because this was about doing it right this time.

When she'd announced that she would like to get married on Christmas Eve and at our tree, my heart had swelled. I sounded like such a girl admitting that, and Emmett had teased, calling me a 'Pussy' for it, but I couldn't help it. Nothing could have meant more to me. So a whirlwind, otherwise known as Alice, had worked tirelessly to make this happen. It was one of the ways she was making amends, even though Bella continued to tell her that she didn't need to.

Moving away from my mother, who was still breaking down in tears over the house, the wedding…everything, I made my way to let in the latest arrivals.

When I opened the door, it was to be met by a stunning couple. A blond woman and an extraordinarily handsome man. The woman, after giving me the once over, grinned broadly and announced with glee, "You _must_ be Edward."

I knew the voice; it was Leslie. And if this was Leslie, then the man could only be… Wow.

Leslie moved forward when I held out my hand, and I brought her hand to my lips for a quick kiss. "I can't tell you how many stories I've heard about you over the last months. If half of them are for real, I'm in the presence of a veritable icon."

She started laughing and moved forward into the house.

Plastering a welcoming smile on my face, I turned to the man who continued to watch me intently. "Robert," I said in welcome, putting my hand out as I had to Leslie.

"If you kiss my hand, I won't be responsible for my actions," he threw out, displaying the humor Bella had warned me about.

I cracked a true grin at his comment and placed my hand over my heart as if I was making a great oath. "I will do my utmost not to molest your hand."

He smiled crookedly in response, throwing me for a moment. I'd seen that look a multitude of times…on pictures of my own face. "Well then…it's an honor to meet you, Edward." His handshake was firm, but not confronting.

They followed me into the living room, and I walked around introducing them to everyone. Seth's reaction upon meeting Robert intrigued me. It was almost as if he'd swallowed his tongue. When he started coughing, Rose had to literally hit his back in an effort to help.

"Excuse me," he said finally, moving toward the bar that had been set up - requesting a water.

Leslie and Rose started up a conversation about their favorite books as soon as my sister-in-law figured out Leslie was Bella's agent. It gave me the out I'd been looking for.

"Would you like a beer?" I asked Robert, figuring one could only help my nerves.

"Sure," he responded, following me over to the bar. I nodded toward the back door, after we grabbed them.

Alice had hired a professional catering and event team, paying the extra money for the holiday dates. So the back yard was now covered in two large connected tents. A multitude of industrial strength heaters battled against the cold air, keeping the inside of the tents reasonably warm. A portable dance floor had been set up and the food was being kept hot in containers, just ready for us to return from the ceremony. The family would be leaving us alone tonight, only to return for lunch at Christmas Day and the celebration. Bella and I would then fly from Seattle the day after Christmas, headed for two weeks of true honeymoon in Colorado. We had a European vacation, Carlie's version of the honeymoon, planned for the summer, Seth included.

For now, the tents were empty except for the employees scurrying around to do the last minute preparations. They all knew me by name, since I'd made the effort to introduce myself and pass along an extra tip to each one of them for their troubles on our behalf. Seeing the head table sitting by itself, I made my way over to it to pull out a chair and sit. Robert did the same, pulling his out and turning it to face me.

Taking a deep drink of his beer, he then rolled the bottle in his hands before taking the initiative to be the first one to speak.

"Thank you for being kind enough to invite me to the wedding. I don't know very many men that would have allowed it. Bella and I have remained friends, as I'm sure she's told you. I've wondered, when and if she met someone, if I would lose that."

"You mean a great deal to her," I admitted. I couldn't say that I hadn't had moments of jealousy considering their relationship. To know that he had come very close to being that faceless man of my "Bella being loved by another and having a life without me" scenarios had caused me a few sleepless moments.

"She also means a great deal to me." He shrugged his shoulders as if there was a great weight on them. "I wanted to marry her." He said it bluntly, but I knew that it needed to be discussed between us. Bella desired to continue having him in her life, but as the two men involved in that agreement, we needed to get some things out in the open so that we could put them away successfully.

"I know." I didn't know what else to say.

"I would have been successful if you hadn't haunted her all those years." He smirked at the thought. Damn… Should it flatter me that even when she couldn't see, she'd still found someone with my familiar mannerisms. The man could have been my brother. Without hesitation, he looked at me and said sincerely, "I can't tell you how happy it makes me to know that she has found what she was looking for. If it couldn't be me, then at least she was able to find you again."

Bella had informed me that she'd told him everything…the stuff she'd believed from before and what she'd found out afterward, when she'd finally listened to everything.

He chuckled before saying, "When she met with me, while you were still in the hospital, I wanted to believe that your willingness to let her come see me meant that there was hope."

"As if I could have stopped her," I barked out in laughter and he joined in.

"Yeah, for sure," he snorted before taking another drink. "All laughter aside, if this is too much for you, I can still leave."

He was being serious, and that said more than anything else. He truly wanted Bella's happiness. Who was I to stand in the way of someone who desired that?

Our conversation wasn't particularly warm and fuzzy, but it certainly wasn't as bad as I'd expected. Knowing that this man had held her, loved her, made love to her, and almost won her made me want to scream, but I had to say that if I'd had a hand in choosing her a husband…he would've been the prime candidate. And perhaps that was the best way to look at this situation. Aside from me, he would have been her best choice. Perhaps he was still her better choice, but I wasn't going to give him that opportunity.

"Absolutely not. I meant what I said on the phone. You're important to her, and you needed to be here if at all possible. It will mean the world to her when she realizes you were able to make it. I know it may take some time, but I think we can be friends. You know, you come _highly_ recommended." I emphasized the word highly on purpose.

He grinned in good nature. "Yeah, you too."

It was a good a start as any, I thought as we walked back into the house.

Not much longer, my dad approached me. "Are you ready?"

"As ever." And just like that, I was ready to race to where I would meet Bella and Carlie. Jacob left to go upstairs as I helped the women on with their jackets, and we made our way to where my forever had begun and where it would become official.

~SOMP~

Alice turned on the CD I'd recorded, and all I could think about was the possibility that Bella would think it was silly. It'd been forever since I'd recorded anything, so it had been a humbling experience to attempt old favorites, as well as, some new ones I'd specifically written for her and Carlie. In the end, I'd fought hard against my perfectionist tendencies and finally gotten a series of recordings I felt comfortable with.

When I saw Robert smile, I knew that he saw Bella and Carlie, and it made me anxious for them to take the last few steps so that I could, too. Then Carlie came around the corner first…a miracle in white and red. She smiled at me, and I felt dizzy with happiness. The white of her dress was in stark contrast to her dark hair, green eyes, and the red cloak that Alice had made her. I felt like pinching myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming…the past months a fantasy that would burst into mocking flames in front of me.

Tears threatened to spill from my eyes as she looked to me, the trust in her face so simple. She was relying on me to be the man I'd promised to be. To be the man worthy of her taking my name. To be the man who would be a loyal and steady partner to her mother and her.

I understood, in that moment, why my father and mother had been so persistent with me, how they'd found the strength to never give up and the love to continue caring for me, even when I was far from loveable. The realization of just how strong the bond between a parent and child was washed over me… how you would put their happiness before yours, their life paramount to your own. It was a life defining moment. I was a father...that reality hit me directly between the eyes with the force of my daughter's blinding smile. She was going to hold me accountable. Carlie winked and then smiled, as if she was giving me permission to move to her mother. And so I did.

Bella…

She was stunning, her brown eyes drawing me in, and I willingly drowned in their depths. It was as if in that moment I saw her as I had that first time in Forks. She'd been a beautiful, shy girl who looked at me like I was a person, not a face. I'd been as overwhelmed then, as I was now. But the emotions were all encompassing, and they wrapped themselves around my very soul, tethering me to her with a bond that I would fight to the death to protect. I tried as best as I could to communicate this to her with my gaze, to let her know that she was my everything.

I'd been so ensnared by her that I'd given little regard to how she was dressed, and I forced myself to give her appearance due regard. But my heart thundered in my chest when I saw what graced her neck.

It couldn't be… It couldn't be!

My knees went weak as my eyes jerked back to hers. Then, I felt myself moving before I even thought through what I was doing. Passion and love flowed between us as I cupped her face between my hands. I hated that I trembled, but I couldn't control how the moment affected me. I saw the softening of her features, the silent acknowledgement of my just as soundless remembrance.

"_You've captured and ensnared my heart, Bella. I knew it when we stopped here and you were intent on rescuing those birds, even putting yourself in danger to do it."_

My heart…she had it both literally and figuratively. The representation of her possession of me lay nestled just above her breasts, the deep blue of the sapphire cradled in the platinum twigs sparkling against the white of her skin. I couldn't help but want to touch it, to make sure I wasn't dreaming. As I felt the cool platinum, I gloried in the warmth of her skin and, just below it, her heart beating rapidly beneath my fingertips.

I'd once thought that Bella was the blue sapphire, deep and pure, but I knew now that I'd been oh so wrong. She was the platinum limbs surrounding my heart, protecting it and giving it succor. She'd kept it somewhere safe, most likely hidden in a dark place. Perhaps over the years she might have taken it out and brushed her fingertips over it, wondering about me. And now I knew that if that had happened…just if…she might have been longing for me as she cradled my heart…as I lay not more than a few miles away dreaming of her. We might one day compare notes to see if my thoughts were right, that the nights my heart had seemingly ached beyond redemption, she'd been holding it.

That she'd saved my gift, considering all the things I'd put her through, spoke volumes about the integrity of the woman who stood before me. That she'd chosen to remain silent about it, to reveal its existence on our wedding day as a sign of our past, present, and future…it unmanned me.

"Bella…" I forced out before the tears began pouring down my face. As always, she took care of me, brushing off the wetness until Alice rescued us both. Of course my sister couldn't help but call me on point. "Edward, you are supposed to wait until Jacob gives you her hand!"

Alice just couldn't understand, but did it really matter. For Bella was going to be mine forever, and I had a lifetime to let her know what she'd given me.

"I love you," I whispered to her. I saw the smiles on everyone else's faces…yeah, I'd made a fool of myself, but I could care less. This was Bella's, Carlie's, and my day, and I was going to allow my emotions to show, because it had taken us more than fifteen years to get here.

Reverend Weber brought it all back into perspective. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Edward Cullen, Isabella Swan, and Carlie Swan…" The words settled me.

A solitary snow flake floated down in the still air and settled in Bella's hair, bringing my focus to our surroundings and emphasizing the beauty of the setting. The tree that had once sheltered the tiny birds, now spread out over us, like an old friend throwing his arms out to surround us in love and protection. Our families gathered to each side of us, as if they too were providing their support and agreement to the situation. Jacob, the man I'd once thought my enemy, was ready to symbolically hand me the person I'd once believed he was keeping from me. The man I'd thought had conspired to humiliate and use me was helping to mend the sins of my past. That he too was glassy eyed over my faux pas, made me feel a strange connection with him. It would have been easy for him to mock me. He didn't.

Instead, he didn't hesitate as Reverend Weber asked the tradition question, "Who brings these two to join in matrimony with this man?"

"I do."

For those that didn't know us, the words would have sounded so simple. But that was for those that didn't understand what I had put us through…didn't know what he'd done and been in my absence.

What happened next was a clear example of the man that Jacob Black had become. He placed Carlie's hand into mine, but only after kissing it gently. It was what happened with Bella that was most poignant. She cried out almost in pain as he repeated the same process with her. "Jake, wait! Come here!" She looked almost panicked as he began to step away.

The friendship was so strong between them that it was beautiful to watch. She patted his face softly while they gazed at each other. Looking back, it was no wonder I'd felt threatened by them…how many men and women could be this close without there being more. Against all odds, and all that would seem natural, these two had that kind of relationship. Finally, he grinned down at her and bent to kiss her forehead, before trustingly leaving her and Carlie with me.

We'd chosen a traditional wedding ceremony – well as much as it could be adding in Carlie. It had been important to me to have her included, because I was not only becoming her mother's husband, but her father…officially.

After talking to Bella about it, I'd taken Carlie to dinner, just her and I, to talk about what my proposal had meant, and what it could mean. She was a teenager, and it was late to be considering whether or not she would take my name; however, I didn't want her to think that I was automatically assuming that she would or wouldn't. And I told her so. Her answer had been bluntly honest, but a basis from which we could work.

"_Dad, I'm not willing to give up Swan completely. It is who I've been for so long, that I would feel untrue by forsaking it." She shrugged gently, bashfully. "I was thinking of a compromise to propose to you, even before you asked me on this date. What if I hyphenated? Seth has already begun teasing me about it…about how long my name is going to be when we finally get old enough to do it all official. But I kinda like that I would carry all three names then…Carlie Swan-Cullen Black. It sounds all official, so it'll go great when I become some big psychiatrist. What a name plate, huh?"_

I grinned softly thinking back to the conversation.

Standing just in front of Carlie and Bella, I held their left hands while Reverend Weber began reciting the usual words of honor, love, ties, and commitment. So, I was able to divide my attention between the two women before me easily.

"Carlie, do you pledge your desire before this group to acknowledge this union by taking the Cullen name. In doing so, do you, Carlie Swan, also give your father permission to take your mother as his lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do," she happily shouted out.

She'd been a minx when designing her part, attempting to add some words about "as long as they both do what I say" or "as long as they both shall give me equal say in all consequences." She'd continued to come up with creative "as long as they…" statements during the weeks leading up to the date. Some had been quite funny, others irreverent.

"Edward, do you pledge before this group to recognize Carlie as your daughter, to serve as her father with all the requisite honors and responsibilities?"

As if I wouldn't have done those things without this acknowledgement? But it had been what Carlie wanted said before the group.

"_Dad, you need to be recognized,"_ she'd said.

"I do," I replied just as enthusiastically as she had.

She'd given me her promise ring just before going upstairs to join Bella in order to get ready. I'd tried to come up with some alternative to give her during the ceremony, but she'd just looked down at her ring and used her thumb to spin it around her finger.

"_No, Dad, just this one. It is special."_

So for the second time, I slid the channel cut diamond band across her knuckle.

And then it was Bella's turn. My dad held a ring that was identical to Carlie's for me. I'd bought them together, and specifically matching, so that even in this my commitment to them was the same. I hoped that when Seth and Carlie did marry, that Carlie would choose to wear my ring on perhaps her right hand. But as much as I loved my daughter, my attention was now fully focused on the beautiful woman in front of me.

Isabella Marie Swan.

The woman that had captured my love so many years before, the girl who dealt with my immaturity, and had done nothing but built a beautiful existence from it. In the few months since she'd come back into my life, she'd had a huge hand in restoring me. I would take some credit for having at least started the process of healing before I even knew she and my daughter were about to come back into my life like twin furies, but I knew to whom the credit was due. Twin furies…it seemed a perfect description of my soon to be wife and daughter, and a vision of the two towers of sunlight that had appeared on the morning I proposed flashed through my mind. I'd seen that occurrence as God given…a sign that all would be well. That we were here and about to become one seemed to answer whether or not I'd been right.

"Isabella Marie Swan do you take Edward Cullen to be your lawfully wedded husband…" Reverend Weber's words brought me back to the here and now.

The words flowed over me, and as anxious as I'd been to get to this moment, I suddenly wanted it to slow down, to give me the time to memorize every nuance of her face and emotions. But soon, I was reaching to my father to retrieve the ring I'd gotten for Bella, and I couldn't help but growl out the word forever as I slid it on her finger.

I didn't even hear the words that announced us man and wife, but I became fully aware when he said, "You may kiss your bride."

The roar of blood surging through me drowned out everything else as I pulled Bella in for what I wanted to be a gentle, reverent kiss. Instead, it was as if the world spun around us…the emotions flowing between us intoxicating me and her until we forgot that we were in company.

Our daughter's tinkling laughter and shouted, "Hey! I'm supposed to get a kiss on the cheek too!" finally broke us apart. That Bella's cheeks were stained beautifully pink didn't escape me.

Laughing, I pulled Carlie to us, pressing my lips to her forehead as requested.

"May I present, Edward and Isabella Cullen, and their daughter, Carlie Swan-Cullen," Mr. Weber said hastily, probably afraid I was going to lose my head again and pull Bella in for another kiss.

As the small crowd gathered clapped and shouted out words of congratulation, I couldn't help but sigh in wonderment at the feel of the two women I cradled in my arms.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Two more to go.<strong>


	79. Gifts

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As always, my thanks to Sherryola, Twiloversue, and LemonMartinis who pre-read and beta this story for me. I mention these ladies every week, but there is no way that words alone can describe what their help means to me. I bow down to their greatness. **

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><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

Our family and friends all clapped when Carlie, Edward, and I entered into the tents that had been set up for the dinner and dance. We'd stayed behind at our tree to take a multitude of pictures, even after Carlisle, Jacob, and Leah left having completed the obligatory "wedding party" ones. It had begun snowing just as we started to finish, and the photographer had insisted on even more shots, pulling my and Carlie's red hoods up and snapping frantically. Unlike the many other photo sessions I'd suffered through, I was actually anxious to be presented these proofs.

I felt like my cheeks were going to freeze in place, I was so happy. I couldn't help but keep smiling, and Edward's enthusiasm was as infectious as mine.

We were passed among the family members and our groups of friends for congratulations, finally breaking apart at some point. So I couldn't help the bark of happiness that escaped me when I saw Leslie and Robert standing with Leah and Jacob. Leah, having figured out just who Robert was, raised her eyebrow at me, calling me into question, but I could care less, literally dancing over to them.

After Jacob's bear hug and Leah's quick softer one, they moved away to talk to Paul and his wife. I turned to Leslie and Robert, letting my enthusiasm for their presence show in the hugs I gave them.

"You sure know how to do a party, Bella," Leslie said of the laughter and drinks.

"Yeah…" I snorted. "You know this is all my sister-in-law."

She grinned at the obvious point; she was all too aware of my lack of social planning skills. If she hadn't taken control of my career, it was quite possible I would have fallen flat after the first book.

"Well, I'm ready for another drink, so I'm going to make my way to the bar." She quickly left. I would have felt abandoned, but she'd already informed Edward that we had a book tour to plan. In addition, she'd promptly informed him that she was only willing to share me during part of it. She'd set her foot down in demanding her own time.

"She isn't very subtle," Robert chuckled. We both knew that she'd left us alone to allow us some private time to speak.

"No, subtle is definitely not a word I would use in conjunction with her," I grinned.

"You are amazingly beautiful, if I have the right to say," he said softly, moving to squeeze my hand affectionately.

"Well, thank you," I pertly replied.

He smiled broadly before saying. "I guess I know now the reason why you hurried the wedding."

I was guessing that Jacob had filled him in on the significance of it all after seeing Edward's reaction to my necklace. "Yeah, Christmas Eve holds a special significance for us."

He grinned even broader and shook his head in humor. "Okay, I'll give you that as well, but pregnancy suits you, Bella. When is your due date?"

Pregnant… I swayed with his words and would have fallen if he hadn't caught me.

"Preg…" I gasped.

Then, I saw the horror in his face. "Bella, I'm sorry. I…God…you know how my humor gets me in trouble. No filter…you know…what goes through my mind comes out through my mouth. You've accused me of it so many times. I didn't know that it was a secret."

"Pregn…" I tried to force out. I was getting closer, but still wasn't quite capable of managing the full word.

"Bella, dear God, breathe!" he said forcefully, lowering me to a chair.

"But…I'm…not…" I still wasn't getting there very well.

He glanced at my breasts and then my waist, before rubbing his hand over his eyes. "Bella, I just…God, what a dork I am! How do I say this? You are glowing…and…um…I'm kinda fairly aware of your..um…assets. And…" his pale cheeks blushed brightly "…some are definitely bigger than even the last time I saw you. Hell, give me a little something here; I won't say anything I promise." He was actually embarrassed – it was adorable. But I couldn't even comment on him.

"Pregnant," I said in a whisper, still fairly tongue tied. "I'm not…"

He cocked his eyebrow at me, attempting not to look at what was on display again. "O…k…" he said in a disbelieving voice.

Pregnant?! Of course I wasn't pregnant, but then a few things hit me all at once…my runaway emotions, my dizziness, that Alice had had to let out my wedding dress waist. My thoughts were chaotic as a hive of bees that had been disturbed.

"Bella, seriously? You didn't know?" he said in a strangled voice.

"No! I…" OH MY GOD! The reality of what he'd observed hit me. "Oh my God, I…we…I hadn't even…" I placed my hand over my waist.

"Is it possible?" he asked delicately, snagging a glass of water off of one of the trays being carried past us by a waiter and handing it to me. My throat was definitely dry.

"Well, of course it's possible. But I'm on…"

"The shot," he answered for me, knowing intimately my form of birth control. He started laughing softly, before putting his hands over his eyes. "All these doctors running around and not one of them thought to tell you that you would need to use extra precautions after your surgery. Have you been on any antibiotics over the last couple of months?"

"Yeah, I took a few when I started attempting to use contacts because I scratched my eye pretty badly and…" I left off, realizing what he was insinuating.

I hadn't even told Edward I was taking the medication because I didn't want him panicking about my eyes and overreacting. The specialist hadn't seemed worried, simply informing me to lay off the contacts for a while and let my eyes rest. He had asked if I was aware of all the precautions that needed to be taken, handed me a pamphlet, and then we'd gone on to the next topic. I'd thought solely about the precautions for my eyes. We'd been more interested in talking about the possibility of another surgery soon to see if it would help with my visual acuity. Had I said something to Edward, he would have known that we needed to be more careful.

Dawning awareness broke over me, and I couldn't help the smile that cut across my face. A baby? It was entirely too soon, but there was no doubt that both Edward and I wanted to try for another child. I'd just never expected…now.

"So perhaps you have a particularly good wedding/Christmas present to give to him," Robert suggested with a cocky grin. "He will be absolutely ecstatic, Bella."

He would. Oh my…

But I didn't know for sure and I needed to, the urge almost eating me up. My eyes lit on Paul.

"Robert, you see the guy over in the corner, the dark headed one…" He turned and nodded. "Can you get him over here for me?" I wasn't certain that my legs would support me.

"Sure…what's up?"

"His cousin owns the reservation store, and he owes me. He can get me a test, even on Christmas Eve."

He grinned broadly, standing to move quickly toward Paul.

~SOMP~

Catching me by myself, Paul passed me the small bag between dinner and the dancing. He'd actually gone himself.

"I got you two, just to make sure." He grinned broadly, and I saw Robert watching us intently from beside Leslie. "We good, now?" Paul asked shyly, knowing that some of his previous behavior had seriously pissed me off…particularly when he'd admitted that he'd kept Carlisle's phone call from me all those years ago.

"Yeah…I'll let you live." Paul was a good guy.

"Sure, sure," he said in Jacob style before moving off toward his own family.

I'd already discussed the possibility with two individuals before Edward, so I wanted the answer to be his first. I was thinking that I could slip out and hide it in our bathroom upstairs to go back and check later. Then if the test indicated what I was quickly becoming to accept, I would wrap it for him and put it under our tree. I hoped that his reaction would be as ecstatic as I expected.

Moving back to where Edward stood with his parents while the area was cleared around the dance floor, I whispered, "Hey, I'll be back in a little. I have to visit the little girl's room."

Edward's smile was blinding as he kissed my lips for probably the hundredth time since Reverend Webber had announced us man and wife. "Don't be long. The first dance is ours. Then I get to claim Carlie while Aro steals you away from me."

I grimaced in mock disgust. "If I must…"

He actually snorted slightly, smirking at me afterward. "Bella, love, you have actually gotten to where you don't break my toes while we dance. You should be happy."

Rolling my eyes at his sarcasm, I flounced off to Esme and Carlisle's happy laughter.

I used both tests, just to make sure. Fighting the desire to stay and see, because I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep the secret from everyone…my face an open book, I placed the tests blindly into the top drawer away from prying eyes, including mine, and moved back downstairs.

"Mrs. Cullen, may I have this dance?" he asked, meeting me at the entrance to the tent. I saw that the crowd had waited, and smiled shyly at him, nodding my head. Mrs. Cullen, indeed.

It was a testament to how potent Edward's pull over me was that I forgot my distraction for the minutes we danced to my "Lullaby." It was the feel of his arms surrounding me, the gentle kisses he stole as the music threaded around us, the heat of him through his tuxedo, the thumping of his strong heart…in essence the magic of the man who was now my husband. But as the music slowed and came to a gentle, reverent conclusion, I wondered again at the possibility that another life existed with us now.

I couldn't help but smile at Carlie as she moved to take my place and the tears started again. She was stunned for a moment at the ferocity of my emotions and stopped to join our hands.

"Mama, is everything okay?" She was seriously concerned; the little wrinkle between her eyes appearing like it always did when she was worried.

"Yeah…I'm just so happy."

"Oh my God!" she mumbled, smirking at me in magnanimous teenage wisdom.

Oh my God, indeed.

Dancing with Aro was another thing entirely. The man was too smooth, he wasn't Edward, and so my mind was going crazy the entire time. "I would ask if you were nervous about the honeymoon, but since we know you've already bedded the man…"

I intentionally missed a step, coming down hard on his foot. Had I had heels on instead of the doe-skin boots, he would have been injured.

He grinned at the retribution I'd inflicted. "There's my girl." Obviously my apparent ability to inflict pain on someone was answer enough for his concern. His only words, as we parted company, had been for me "to come see him if there was anything I needed."

Jacob was next, and in true Jake form he was blunt. "What the hell is going on? That man, Robert, he is definitely more than just a friend. How the hell did you keep an affair hidden from me? ME! Bella. I wanted you to get married, and you had a nice guy and never let me know! I mean, I'm all okay with Redhead now, and I get that you two are like soul mates and all, but seriously, you couldn't have just told me. And Redhead, he's okay with this? Seriously?" I focused on his worry, his care of me, watching the emotions twitch across his face. "Blah…blah blah blah Bella! Blah, blah blah blah. It's me Jake! Blah…blah. Expletive, blah. I am your best friend…blah, blah…"

He pinched my waist, calling me back to attention. "You are tuning me out. I've seen that look on your face a million times. Did you even hear a word I said?"

I broke out into gut wrenching laughter, almost doubling over with it while we attempted to keep from stepping on each other's toes. Jake and I both sucked at dancing, although I would say that he was a tad better than me. "Yup," I popped the "p" just like he did. "Blah…" Seeing his stunned looked as I admitted to the very fact I'd been tuning him out did me in. "Blah…blah…blah," I added, snorting inelegantly. Even stoic Jake couldn't keep a straight face at my silliness.

"Blah?" he sniffed trying hard to keep from cracking up laughing.

I pulled on every reserve I had and presented a serious face, before saying with a very modest tone, "Blah."

Jake moved me through the next few steps of our turn, before he broke down. "Okay, Bella. I get it. You're happy. Ecstatic. On cloud nine…blah, blah, blah."

"Exactly." I grinned.

"Love you," he said softly just before the music ended.

And suddenly the blahs were over, because this was my best friend dancing with me. "I love you too, Jake," I responded, pulling him into a hug.

It seemed that Edward and I got the opportunity to dance with everyone, but at 11:30, Alice called the party to a halt. "As you know, the newlyweds have invited us all back to the house for lunch tomorrow. So let's give them the opportunity to bring in Christmas alone, shall we?"

Luckily, I saw that Aro had provided multiple limos to transport those to the hotels; whereas, the wives took the Quileute men in hand. The wine and beer had been freely imbibed, so I was glad to know that they would all arrive safely. Edward and I stood on the front porch waving to them all as they drove off. But it was freezing outside, even in my cloak, so I went to pull us back into the house and squeaked in surprise when he pulled me up into his arms instead.

"Edward! I'm too heavy!"

"Hush. I think I can manage to get you inside and up the stairs just fine. It is tradition, Bella, for the husband to carry the wife over the threshold."

"You are so old fashion! Who does that anymore?" I huffed.

"I do," he whispered against my hair.

He stopped at the top of the stairs, allowing me to slide down to the floor. The friction was lovely, and I reached up to thread my fingers through his hair and tug his lips down to mine. Unhurriedly, I made love to his mouth, putting every emotion I'd experienced over the day into the kiss. By the time we broke apart, we were both breathless. "I have a suggestion, one I hope that you'll seriously consider…I thought we might spend our honeymoon in my old room," he said in a raspy voice. I couldn't help the gasp that escaped me. "But we don't have to, Bella. If it is too much," he quickly clarified, kissing my lips again gently, unhurriedly.

We hadn't had the opportunity to reclaim his room, having spent the time at the house with Carlie, redecorating her space on the third floor. It was almost impossible to sneak around our daughter. And coming out of Edward's old room was something that would have no logical explanation.

"That's actually perfect," I murmured against his softly plying lips, finally breaking away to look at his face.

It was, because what better way to start a new life together than to banish the final ghosts, so that everything could be fresh and new. In fact, now that he mentioned it, I couldn't imagine just going back to the bed we'd already shared here. He scanned my face for any sign that I was just caretaking his feelings, and I smiled with sincerity. "Edward, I can't think of a better way to spend my wedding night, than to be where we made love the first time. It can be our place of firsts…first time as lovers…first time as man and wife."

His eyes darkened at what I was saying, and this time, it was him that pulled my lips to his. This kiss had more fire, more passion, more unraveling of our control. My head fell back as he finally moved his lips from mine, training them across my jaw and down my neck to nip along the way. I moaned when he moved down to where my heart beat galloped and our necklace sat. As he worried the skin there, my nipples pebbled in anticipation. It was difficult not to plunge my fingers in his hair and move him to where his warm mouth would tease me. Shifting against him in need, I felt him smile against my skin.

"So reactive…so much passion," he murmured against me.

I wanted him to strip my dress from me and take me there, but I remembered that both he and Alice had put a lot of thought into this night…he, his room…and Alice, "the negligee I want to hear about being torn to shreds." I giggled thinking how serious she'd been about it.

"Edward…will you undo the buttons of my dress so that I can go change?"

"You don't need any other clothes on…I just need to get you out of your dress without tearing it to pieces," he responded in a sexually laden voice.

"But I have goodies," I promised, thinking of the silk gown and robe.

He growled in frustration, but I heard his chuckle as well. "Okay, I'll be good and help, but I want you back in my room as quickly as possible." Then, he grinned like a little boy. "I have another thing I'd like to propose since the first suggestion went over so well. Since we will be celebrating our anniversary on Christmas Eve, and we kinda started our tradition of giving our gifts to each other on this night, how about we continue that." He saw my expression of humor. "Just one, Bella. I'm not asking to open them all."

"You are such a little kid. It's all about getting a present early isn't it?"

He blushed slightly before admitting, "Well, I won't deny that I love getting Christmas presents. Emmett and I are both still like little kids with that, but I seriously wanted to just figure a special way to celebrate our anniversary." Then the lust took over again. "Trust me; I plan to make the rest of the night unforgettable as well."

The way he purred the words told me that in fact he had a multitude of fantasies lined up. "So…" I responded in a deceptively innocent voice "…let me see if I can get this straight. I'm to get undressed, return to your den of iniquity as soon as possible, we are to exchange one gift only…"

"A special one," he quickly threw in, interrupting me.

"…and then you plan to make love to me all night."'

He smirked. "Well, there may be some fucking thrown in."

Holy hell! "When you put it that way, I guess I should get undressed." I turned my back to him, presenting him the long row of mother of pearl buttons that secured the white velvet dress.

That his hands began to shake as more and more of my back was exposed bolstered my confidence. "Mmm…" I moaned in pleasure at the heavy weight falling from me; I was messing with him and it worked. He cinched his hands around my waist, pulling me back into him. This time I moaned at the delicious feel of him hard against my back.

"Hurry…" he ordered before stepping away. I didn't even look back, as I held the material to my chest and moved to our room to change, for fear that I would cave and just attack him in the hallway.

Alice had insisted on a sapphire blue gown and robe for my wedding night ensemble. She'd actually bought two identical sets…one to be destroyed and one to keep for later. It was an elegant gown, simplistic to the point of being deceptive. Cut in the empire style, I felt like a princess at the flowing material. I grinned, remembering Alice showing it to me.

"_Edward always loved you in blue," she smiled holding it up to me. "It'll drive him crazy, because he knows what this demure elegance will hide. It is the old male fantasy…tiger in bed, lady in public."_

"_Alice, have I ever told you that you spend entirely too much time thinking about my sex life."_

_She giggled. "I'm just trying to help you here."_

If the gown was meant to be innocent, the necklace ruined the image. It hung just above my breasts and would draw Edward's eyes to the fullness immediately. I saw what Robert had then – I was rocking the low neckline.

My hand itched to open the drawer, but I was determined to finish getting ready before I looked. Brushing my teeth and hair, I decided to leave my make up on. Alice had retouched it during our reception, and I had to admit I looked amazing with my hair down contrasting with my paleness and the richness of the blue gown and sapphire.

Now all I needed to do was determine which gift to give Edward…which one would truly be special. My eyes settled on the drawer even as I contemplated some of the presents I'd already wrapped.

Opening it, my eyes settled on the windows of the two test strips that lay face up.

**Edward POV**

Taking deep breaths, I forced myself not to chase after her. It was hard not to; the V of pale skin her dress revealed tempting me as she walked toward our bedroom. But I wanted the night to be special, so instead of stalking her, I moved in the opposite direction, entering my old room.

Alice had helped me set everything up.

I'd bought a queen size bed, a new chest of drawers, and an oversized chair and ottoman. It was about all that could go into the room without it getting too crowded. And for this night, we'd placed a multitude of scented candles around the room and a Bose system playing soft classical music to provide ambiance. Alice had added the flowers and fluffed the bed.

Toeing off my shoes and taking off my socks first, my tuxedo jacket and the bow tie followed. Loosening the top button on the shirt and cuffs, I pushed the sleeves up my arms and threw the jacket over the back of the chair. Then as Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata played, I lit the candles and turned off the overhead lights. Through the glass walls, I could see the snow that had begun to fall in earnest. The only negative to spending our wedding night in my old room was that we wouldn't have a fireplace. The cabin I'd rented in Colorado did. It had a large hot tub, a monstrous fire place, and the most important thing…privacy. For two glorious weeks, I could chase Bella around without the fear of anyone "accidentally" walking in.

But for now, the room I turned slowly to look at was perfect. I wondered, for a moment, if I should walk down and get some food, but we'd eaten so much at the reception, that I'd heard Bella grumbling about being too full. Wine? I wondered, but I'd also noticed that Bella hadn't touch any, saying that she was a nervous wreck, so I convinced myself that the bottled waters I had in the iced bucket would be sufficient.

I moved over to the bed and ran my fingertips across the package that lay on the down filled comforter. Smiling, I thought about all that had happened this day and prayed that Bella would like the gift. I was second guessing myself, but it was too late to change it, so I just hoped that she wouldn't be disappointed or upset. Moving on to the basket I'd placed by the bed, I smiled as I saw that Alice had done as she'd promised. Sitting on the stand was, of all things, a wipe warmer.

"_Edward, they are like God sends in regards to massage oils. It will keep the temperature just right without getting the oil too hot. I promise you, it'll be just perfect."_

I trusted her. I'd never owned a wipe warmer, so I wouldn't have a clue that it could be used that way. Certainly, I didn't want to contemplate finding out just how my sister had figured out that oils put into wipe warmers were "just heavenly." I would admit that I was imagining a situation where something had to be quickly hidden from young, prying eyes and forgotten until a wipe was needed again. The thought of harassing Jasper about it had occurred to me, but I didn't want to pay him back that way if the ingenious use worked. I'd let Bella be the judge of it.

Bella…

She'd blown me away at the wedding and reception. Her humor and good mood had been infectious, and I couldn't help but grin at the spectacle she and Jacob had made while they danced. They'd gotten tickled about something and had just about fallen down in laughter. I'd been dancing with Leah at the moment, and she'd just huffed at their behavior.

"_They are like two school girls giggling,"_ she'd fussed.

"_He's a good guy, Leah," _I'd responded.

She'd smiled broadly, the love for her husband clear. _"Yes…he is."_

But it had been cute, Bella and Jacob acting like "school girls."

Ironically, Alice had been the one to track me down to ask about Robert. _"Um, Edward. That delicious man over there…does he belong to Bella's manager, because Rose and I are already thinking about a couple of Rose's single friends."_

I'd responded. _"Well, as far as I know Robert is single, but he lives in London, so I don't know that any of your possibilities would work."_

"_London? Then if he isn't here with Leslie, what is the connection? I'm mean, not that any of us are complaining. The view is nice, even if he's off limits."_

"_Alice Cullen Whitlock, you are a married woman!"_ I'd mocked.

"_Married…not dead, Edward_." Her eyes had twinkled when said man laughed at something my mother said to him. _"Hm…"_ she all but purred beside me. _ "Definitely not dead."_

"_I'm ratting you out to Jasper," _I'd threatened.

"_I've already told him."_ She'd stuck her tongue out at me. _"So, if you didn't invite him…"_

"_Alice, he is a friend of Bella's. A special one,"_ I'd left off at that and watched her until I saw the moment it clicked for her.

"_OH! Oh…my."_ She'd turned and looked at me with huge eyes. _"You are so fucking lucky."_

And with those words of insult, she'd flitted away, destined for Mr. Douglas.

Hearing a noise at the door, I turned and the breath whooshed out of my chest. I agreed with Alice; I _was_ one lucky bastard.

Bella stood just outside the door wearing a deep blue gown and robe; a robe that I wanted to immediately rip from her. Her skin glowed against the color, and it seemed that she'd been created by a famous artist…carved from some precious alabaster into perfection. My heart still adorned her neck, drawing my eyes to the low neckline of the gown. Seeing my reaction, she smiled at me shyly, and I forgot all about decorum, moving quickly over to her. She stepped back at my advance, and I wondered what she saw in my face to do so, but as soon as I stepped into the hallway with her, I swept her back up into my arms.

"Edward! You've already carried me over the threshold of the house!" she fussed.

"But not this room," I threw back, causing her to shake her head at me in vexation.

Touching her was almost my undoing. I could feel the heat of her through the thin silk and was immediately glad that the room was reasonably warm, the burning of the many lightly scented candles helping. She got cold so easily that I wanted to make sure she was comfortable, because I planned to get her naked about one second after we exchanged our gifts.

"Bed or chair?" I asked her.

"Chair," she squeaked. "Because if we get on the bed, I'll forget about anything other than having you! It's been a week!" she accused.

"Your idea," I reminded her. I'd spent the week in a perpetual state of arousal, wanting her more than anything, but also enjoying the buildup of need and desire. Knowing that the next time we made love, it would be as husband and wife, I'd savored the moments.

Placing her on the chair, I leaned down to cage her between my arms and kissed her thoroughly, growling out as she moved her hands along the outside of my thighs. I broke when I felt her hands against my stomach, from where she'd pulled my shirt loose. Looking down, I saw her love and passion for me shining clearly.

"You are so beautiful," I told her, tracing my fingertips across her cheekbones. My angel, crafted by God.

In true Bella fashion, she shook her head in a discounting manner at my praise before patting a place on the sofa beside her. It was then that I saw the small package in her hands. "Hold on, let me get your present."

"Okay." She settled back against the cushions.

Quickly grabbing the package I'd left on the bed, I returned to the sofa to sit facing her.

"Whew!" Bella, said, letting out a breath of air. "What a day! We're married!" she gurgled out happily, like it was something that had to be announced.

"Yes, it seems we are," I said solemnly, teasing her. I really wanted to run out onto the porch and shout it out loud enough for everyone in Forks to hear it. An impossibility I knew, but something I wanted to at least attempt. Had there ever been a man happier about finally wedding the woman he loved? If so, I was going to ignore him and claim the right.

But Bella had me made and leaned over goosing me in the side. Then, looking over to the clock, she announced, "We have just ten minutes before Christmas."

"Well then, do you go first, or do I?"

I was surprised by her answer, because Bella usually hated getting gifts. "I will," she said softly, placing my gift to her side and holding out her hand for what I'd gotten her.

Well, there was at least one thing I would get out of her new found willingness to accept gifts, I wouldn't have the time to get nervous. Placing the elaborately wrapped package in her hand, I gripped my legs with mine to keep from fidgeting. She turned it over, finding the taped parts. Using her fingernails, she began slowly unwrapping it.

"You don't know how to unwrap a present, Bella. The idea is to rip into it and fling the paper."

"Your and Emmett's disgraceful behavior doesn't have to spill over onto others, Edward," she teased, looking up at me from through her eyelashes.

She'd left the makeup on from the wedding, and the smoky smudging made her look even more seductive. I hardened immediately, ready to rip the gown from her, like I planned to tear the paper from my present. Visions of blue silk floating through the air entertained me as she tortured me with her meticulous unwrapping.

"At this rate, I'll be getting my present for Christmas," I snarked.

"Whatever," she muttered delicately, obviously enjoying my desire to find out what she'd gotten for me.

But first, I had to wait the last few seconds for her to take the paper away from the small box that housed my gift. The look on her face when she opened it and saw what was inside was priceless.

"Edward!" she said softly, pulling the bracelet from the box. "You are buying me entirely too much jewelry." But when she saw what hung from one of the platinum links, her eyes jerked to mine. It was a smaller replica of the bird nest that resided over her heart.

"I thought you'd had to sell the necklace. At one point, I considered having another designed. The man who created yours…" I reached over to run my fingertip over the pendant, sneakily allowing myself to brush over her skin as I did "…his son still owns the business, and they kept immaculate records. The one on your bracelet is an exact copy. I thought that to replace the necklace would bring up bad memories, even though I wanted to have your damn necklace back so badly. Which is why I reacted the way I did when I saw it. Thank you for keeping it safe all these years, Bella."

She leaned over giving me a soft kiss. I had to clear my throat to speak again, once we broke from one another.

"The good thing is that having the bracelet means I can place other charms on it, and I'm not technically buying your more jewelry, just adding to a piece you already own." I smirked, knowing I had her. Any complaining she did from here on out would be just petulant.

But looking at the tears in her eyes, I realized I'd been worrying unnecessarily.

"Edward, I love it. Would you put it on me? I had Carlie do the necklace for the wedding."

It took just a few seconds to latch the bracelet around her wrist, but I had to bring her hand to my lips to nibble at the delicate skin there. Her fingers threaded through my hair, letting me know that she was enjoying the attention.

"Stop, or we won't get through with your present."

I growled out in frustration. It was almost worth forgoing the present to have her. "Okay!" I finally huffed, forcing my lips from away from her skin. She grinned at my sneer and then looked over to the clock.

"You have exactly three minutes to open this before it becomes a Christmas present instead." She held up the small wrapped gift she'd brought with her.

"Gimme!" I cried out like a child, holding my hands palms up and wiggling my fingers.

She laughed at my enthusiasm, but I saw a flash of something race across her face. Taking a deep breath, she laid the gift in my hands. I wanted to laugh when I noticed that she too grabbed her legs to keep from fidgeting. It was a good distraction, at least for me, because I focused not on the gift in my hands, but the sight of her legs under the blue silk and my ring on her finger. She was my wife! And suddenly, I was all possessive male, wanting her.

Fingers snapping in front of my face brought me back into focus. "Edward…two minutes."

"Damn…" I ripped the paper, throwing it up into the air just like I'd planned, and then I laughed seeing that it was a Crest toothpaste box. "I know I'm anal and everything, but I swear I'm getting used to the whole sharing thing." Bella barked out in laughter. She'd taken to squeezing the tube in the middle instead of rolling it precisely up from the end, just to harass me. One time, she'd even twisted the tube, torturing it. I'd tried not to have a heart attack, taking the time to smooth it out and roll it appropriately.

"Did you, at least, get me the good stuff - the sensitive kind?"I asked, opening the end and turning it up to dump the contents into my hand. I wanted to see what she'd done. Knowing her, she probably twisted it or at least left some of the crud on the outside.

And life changed again…

The plus stared up at me, like a neon sign, from a home pregnancy test. I froze, not understanding. My mind wasn't working correctly, stuck on the item I was holding and the shock that was taking me hostage. Forcing my eyes to Bella, I floundered.

"I'm pregnant," she said softly, confirming what I held. Her eyes were soft and hopeful, waiting for my reaction.

Joy, so potent it was addictive, burst through me the second before I moved, dragging Bella into my lap. I'd kissed her probably a hundred times today, but this one counted for at least ten more, as I kissed her eyes, lips, cheeks, neck, our tears combining as I cradled her head, pressing our cheeks together as I tried to work out what she'd just told me. Pregnant? And the kissing started again, soft, butterfly-like expressions of love. Happiness filled ever part of me, at the thought of what was being implied.

Taking her face in my hands, I looked down into her eyes and asked, "Bella, you're pregnant?" She nodded quickly, tears still gracing her face, and I couldn't help but move one hand to press against her stomach. "A baby?" I squeaked out.

She chuckled, before giving me a hard time. "Well, I hope I'm not having a puppy?"

I moved my face to hers again, the fingers of my other hand threading through her hair as our cheeks rested against each other. I'd kept my hand on her stomach…as if I was going to miraculously feel the baby move. The moments passed as I let the emotions settled around us.

Finally, moving back so that I could see her, I admitted. "Bella...another baby with you? Other than your and Carlie's hands in marriage, it would be the most precious of gifts." I couldn't speak for a moment, so overwhelmed with what I was being given. Finally, I moved forward. "Bella, are you sure? How?" The reality was beginning to seep through.

Placing her hand at my cheek, she grinned softly. "Well, I'm as sure as two tests. I didn't just take one. How? Well, don't be mad, but Robert kinda helped me figure that out."

"Robert?" I didn't feel jealous, just confused. She read me well.

"When he saw me today, he just thought I already knew. He was congratulating us."

"I'm confused. You didn't know before today?"

"No," she laughed out. "I made Paul go get the tests from the Rez store."

"Are you serious?" When she nodded her head enthusiastically, I kissed her again, thinking about what a miraculous day this had been. "Two tests are good enough or me!" I half shouted out from the happiness. Rubbing my thumb across the flat expanse of her stomach, I had a million questions.

"The how…well, I have to admit to something. Don't get mad, okay?" That snapped my head up. "But, you remember when I went to the specialist to talk about the future surgeries?" I nodded quickly; we'd discussed the options at length. "Well, he found I'd kinda scratched my eye with the contacts…and…"

I knew exactly what she was going to say. "Antibiotics." The downfall of birth control. "Why didn't you tell me? You should have, we should have been watching the infection. What if…" she stopped my words by placing her fingers on my mouth.

"Edward, this is exactly why. You would've panicked, and the specialist didn't think there was anything to be concerned about. I wore my glasses for a few weeks and dealt with it. But I didn't think about this…" She sounded as if she was feeling guilty. Linking our fingers, I used our combined hands to bump her chin up gently.

"Bella. I'm ecstatic!" There wasn't really a word to describe what I was. Ecstatic just seemed so inadequate.

"You're not concerned about it being too early?" she said with a quirk of her lips.

"I won't say that if we'd planned it, that we wouldn't have waited at least a year, but Bella…this is us. When has anything ever gone according to plan?" Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. "Love, please don't cry. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. Tell me what I said wrong?" I started to panic.

"Nothing wrong…" she said, hiccupping. "Everything right." And with those words, she leaned forward pulling me into another kiss.

I was going to be a father again! And this time, I would be around to share the joys and trials of pregnancy.

"Baby…" I said on a quick intake of breath, her lips having traveled to where she'd unbuttoned the next button on shirt.

"Yes?" she said against my skin.

"Merry Christmas." The clock had struck midnight during my reactions to her present, to the news of our next child.

She moved back far enough to smile seductively at me, before popping the next button on my shirt. "Merry Christmas, Edward."

* * *

><p><strong>You knew it was coming – HA!<strong>


	80. Unafraid

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**As I bring this story to a close, I would like to personally thank three individuals who have made this story happen, from helping review my writing to encouraging me when I wanted to call it quits.**

**Sherry – You have been my rock in helping me to keep Bella's blindness and the partial restoration of her sight real. I hope that if I continue on the journey of being a writer that I will become just a fraction of the one you are. For those that aren't familiar with Sherry's writing, please visit SherryGomes dot com.**

**LemonMartinis – Madame, you have suffered through many versions of this story after being offered up by Suzie55 as a pre-reader. It has been a journey, and I am honored to say that I've taken it with you.**

**TwiloverSue – Thank you for convincing me to go through with this story, when it would have been easy to forget all about it. As you know it has been a personal growing experience for me. I can't wait to see your book published, because I know it will be a success.**

**To each and every reader who has taken the time to read and comment, my thanks!**

**I have been asked if I will continue on with other stories. Yes and no. I will be taking the time to finish off my two all vampire stories, Downward Spiral and Full Moon Rising. My intentions, at this point, are to exit the fan fiction world after those stories are completed. It has been a journey, one that a dear friend encouraged me to take because she felt that I should learn the rigors of being a writer. I won't go into detail as to why that is important between us, but suffice it to say, that my respect for her has increase immensely since starting in the Twi-World three years ago.**

**I would love, if you are interested in AU versions of the Twilight Saga, for you to join me on Downward Spiral. If you like continuations of the canon story, please come over and read Harvest Moon and the sequel I'm working to complete Full Moon Rising.**

**It has been an honor…**

* * *

><p><strong>Bella POV<strong>

Sunshine filtered through the windows, spreading across our bed and shining over Edward, bringing out the red highlights in his eyelashes and hair. My bladder was killing me, so instead of lying in bed like a slug and admiring him like I wanted to, I crawled out of the warmth, stretched, and then ran for the bathroom. I'd forgotten about the constant need to go. The teeth definitely needed care, and seeing that my hair looked like a haystack, I pulled a brush through it to work out the snarls before waddling back into our room. I couldn't help but grin when I saw that Edward hadn't moved…well other than his hand which had crept to the place where I'd slept as if he was seeking me out.

He'd gotten up earlier to cook breakfast for Carlie, having been so quiet and sneaky, that I could barely remember him coming back to bed. Wanting to repay the favor, I crawled back onto the mattress as gracefully as my stomach would allow…which wasn't much. Being as big as a beached whale didn't allow for stealth. It also made my getting up to join them for breakfast sketchy…some mornings, like this one, I'd slept through.

One of the twins chose that precise moment to stretch, and it felt like his or her foot was going to pop out of my abused stomach. A vision of the birthing scene from Alien ran through my mind, and I groaned; Emmett had made sure that I watched the movie as I grew bigger. It was actually funny, but too close to the reality of what I was feeling to allow me to laugh. Not wanting to wake Edward, I tried not to move too much in an effort to find a comfortable position, but my efforts were futile.

"Are they keeping you up?" he asked in a sleepy voice, his green eyes blinking at me like a waking cat.

I sighed, upset that I'd woken him. "Stepping on my bladder," I grumbled.

He chuckled deeply and pushed the covers off.

"Where are you going?" I asked as he moved off the bed, pulling on his pajama bottoms. The view had been very enticing, and I wasn't happy about him moving away. I was pretty much a slave to my hormones and the enticing man in front of me.

"Bella, take a deep breath. What do you smell?" he smirked, waiting for my hormone-ridden brain to catch up.

Coffee! My one allowed cup… It was pure ambrosia.

"I love you!" I called out as he disappeared around the corner on his way to get me my fix. He laughed softly at my obvious attempt at sweet talk.

Pregnancy had made my hormones crazy, so I didn't really know what I wanted more…him or the coffee. He helped me make up my mind, though, by returning with a steaming cup of liquid wake-up. Handing it to me as I propped against the headboard, he kissed my forehead and left to visit the restroom himself before coming back. Then sitting in the middle of the bed, he fished around in the covers until he found one of my feet, pulling it into his lap. I groaned before he even pushed his thumb into my arch. Morning coffee and a foot rub. The only thing that could be better was sex, and if I played my cards right, I might be able to get a second glance at what he'd covered up with his pajamas and indulge in said activity. Sex, even hugely pregnant, was still one of my priorities, as he'd quickly rid me of my fears that I would be undesirable.

I'd feared that my wedding night would be derailed by the knowledge that I was pregnant. Somehow I'd been imagining an Edwardian Edward…afraid to have anything other than slow, soft, and meaningful sex. Certainly I'd gotten the slow and soft, but he'd fulfilled that promise of "fucking" many times over, particularly during our time in Colorado. But for our wedding night, I'd barely gotten any sleep, taking the brunt of many a joke when the family and our friends had arrived for lunch and our Christmas party, catching me yawning over and over. Edward's almost ear to ear grin had answered Robert's unspoken question about the results of the test.

But if I'd been the brunt of the jokes, I'd been the Belle of the ball when Edward announced our news. Only Carlie didn't squeal, and that was solely because we'd taken the initiative over lunch to escort her upstairs and tell her the news first.

"_Are you serious!"_ she'd squealed then. _"Seriously!"_ She'd jump on her bed and finally flipped in the air to land on her back, wiggling her arms and legs in the air. Turning her face toward us, she'd grinned broadly. _"I'm so glad you listened to me about getting busy on a sister or brother for me. This will give you time for more."_

And with that, our joy, at thinking we'd render her speechless, had dissipated. We'd left her happily contemplating the possible dates of birth, and how long we'd have to wait before trying for the next one.

But that had been before her and Edward's surprise at the obstetrician visit. Edward had jumped to his feet when the heartbeat…or I should say, heartbeats…thundered through the room.

"_Twins!" Edward barked out before the woman I'd chosen as my obstetrician even had a chance to say anything._

"_Yes, Dr. Cullen, it would seem so." She laughed at his enthusiasm. His eyes had looked wild for a moment, just a bare moment, before he grabbed me up, giving me a passionate kiss. _

_Totally unfazed by her kissing parents, my daughter had other priorities. "How long before we can find out the sexes?" she asked from beside us, as the doctor brought the first and then second thrumming heart into focus on the ultrasound. _

"_Not until your mother is around five months or so, and that is if we are lucky. Sometimes, we can't find out, if the baby decides to be shy."_

Carlie's disappointment had been clear. It'd been dispelled though on our five month visit.

"_Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, it seems you are getting a mixed pair. Stock up on pink and blue."_

I'd known. As soon as I'd heard the two heartbeats, I'd just known. Nothing could convince me that I wouldn't be holding the two bronze headed babies of my dream. A girl with my eyes and a boy with Edward's.

"Hey, you're a million miles away," Edward said, bringing me back into focus. He grinned as he put my foot down, reaching for the other.

"I should tell you that you don't need to do that, but it feels too good," I admitted, closing my eyes in pleasure when he gently rubbed my swollen foot.

"I want to," he said softly, before traveling up my calf, tenderly working out the aches in my legs. "Is that good?" he asked, having rubbed from mid-thigh down.

He should have known me better. "I still have a kink…" I tried to keep from grinning when he looked up in serious concern, his fingers stilling over my skin "…just a little higher."

He grinned cheekily. "Really," he drawled. Then his magical fingers smoothed higher, teasing me. That I huffed when he pulled away made him smile. "Back first," he directed, using his finger to make a circular motion in the air, telling me to turn around.

As if it was that easy for me to settle…but for a back rub, I'd struggle to lie back down on my side. Using pillows, I propped up the thing that had once been my stomach…which was its own state now. I'd groaned at his care of my feet and legs…but I gave up trying to control the moans that came out of my mouth at the feel of his strong hands rubbing the overtaxed muscles of my back.

"It sounds like I am having my way with you, Bella," he commented huskily.

"I'm hoping you will be when you finish with my back," I threw back, being blunt.

His hands stilled, but only for a moment. "Okay," he said simply, but I heard the gruffness. It would seem that I had his attention. "Are you sure you're up to going over to the house?" he asked just a minute later.

"Yeah, I want to see how far they've gotten since last week."

Our "cottage" was being built directly beside Esme's and Carlisle's house. It might as well have been called an English Manor by the time that Edward and Carlie were done with all their specifications, for it was a three story fairytale home.

For a time, I would've been happy at my little house, but when I'd realized we were having twins, I'd known that it was going to get too cramped…and soon. As it was, they'd be coming home here for the months it would take for the new house to get completed. I'd had some separation anxiety about the thought of leaving my and Carlie's first home, until Edward suggested that it would be the perfect place for Carlie and Seth when they went to college. Of course, he was making the suggestion to highlight the fact that "University of Washington's Medical and Law schools were quite prestigious, and that if they were going to be considered, why wouldn't they want to go to undergraduate there as well."

He'd caved when our daughter had snarked back to his suggestion, "_that she and Seth might just possibly want to get out from underneath our thumbs."_ She'd smiled in mischief when he'd looked defeated. _"Just keeping you in line, Dad. Seth and I have UDub as one of our top picks."_

And so, Edward and Jacob had both began their campaigns.

But, the large house being built on the "Cullen Compound" would become our home soon, and even I wasn't grumpy enough to say anything disparaging about the beautiful stone masterpiece. Esme had worked with my every desire and created a house design that was luxurious without being pretentious.

When Edward finally finished with my back, I was, however, questioning my ability to get out of bed to go see it. It wasn't that I didn't want to go; I just didn't know if I could move. Then the twins started doing it for me…I swear it seemed at times that they did the Samba in my womb. Grabbing one of his hands, I pulled Edward flush against me, feeling the strong muscles of his chest along my back…and the very desirable part of him that he'd covered up earlier. Sex forgotten for the moment, I placed his hand on my stomach and heard him gasp, then chuckle, as they stretched.

Sitting up, he pulled up my gown, even as I swatted at him, and then rolling me over slightly, he watched in fascination as a clearly definable foot pushed out. Edward glanced up to find me watching him and grinned adorably before he placed his hand over the tiny outline. Whichever baby it was pulled back in reaction and then pushed back even harder, as if he or she knew his touch.

"Already putting me in my place," he said softly, with great humor.

I was so relaxed that I didn't even laugh. Settling back, I watched him, as he watched them. The little quirks and twists of his lips and the widening of his eyes, as my stomach took on a life of its own, entertained me. The way he played with them, smoothing his fingers over any body part that pushed against my stomach tugged at my heart. What was very apparent was how enthralled he was with the whole process. He'd been there through it all with me, having informed the hospital that he would remain at home for the months of our pregnancy.

"_I don't want to miss out on one moment, Bella. And I want the time with Carlie too. I don't want her to feel slighted,"_ he'd told me.

And he had and she hadn't. Edward had taken the months since our wedding to spend as much time as possible with her, chauffeuring her over to the home site even when I didn't feel like going. Upon their return, she'd entertain me with the details, and what she left out, Edward filled in. He took her on dates and went to the school when she'd had a problem with a bully who teased her about being "Anthony Cullen's love child." Well…it wasn't so much she'd had a problem, she'd effectively humiliated the girl with her wit, but Edward had felt the need to talk to the administration. He'd even taken her to driving school and to get her permit after she'd turned fifteen. I'd laughed hysterically when she'd asked if he was going to let her have his Aston Martin when she turned sixteen, to which he'd promptly muttered the word Volvo. Carlie hadn't been the only one to roll her eyes at the "old man" answer, but she'd quit complaining when he took her shopping for cars…purchasing a two door sedan that would be hers entirely upon her next birthday. Edward may have missed too many years of Carlie's life, but he was making up for the time lost in all the ways possible.

But for now, Edward was totally enthralled with the two babies performing gymnastics inside me. He leaned over placing his lips on my stomach. "Behave for your mom. You're wearing her out. Don't worry; it won't be much longer before you're here."

As if they heard him, they calmed. Most likely, they'd expended their energy and were settling in for a nap, but it was nice to think about it being as a result of his deep voice. Either way, Edward was right; all they had to do was wait just a little while. I was already thirty four weeks along at best guess, and Edward had told me even before the doctor did that thirty seven was considered a full gestation for twins. He'd grown less and less likely to go off as the weeks accumulated and twitched whenever I winced.

I'd gotten comfortable during the time he'd played with the babies, but when Edward's hands smoothed over my stomach, I closed my eyes in peacefulness. Feeling warmed lotion on my skin, I sank under the magic of his fingertips, sleep claiming me again.

~SOMP~

Pain ripped across my belly, wrapping its talons around my back and sinking into me. The air whooshed out of me and my muscles seized.

Damn… I wasn't good with pain.

I'd thought I'd be able to ignore the contractions for awhile. It was still the middle of the night, and the last thing I wanted to do was be stuck at the hospital for longer than was necessary. But, it wasn't looking like I could overlook them much longer. They were getting stronger and closer together.

Finally, the tightness began to ease, and I felt as if I could possibly breathe.

"Edward…" I tried to speak, but it came out as a whisper. He heard me anyway.

Waking immediately, eyes alert and ready, he sat up and assessed me. Seeing the look of pain on my face, he moved out of the bed in a quick, graceful move. "On it."

Rushing to the restroom, he brought me my clothes and a brush. While I dressed, he moved into the hallway and I heard the brisk knock on Carlie's door, and her mumbled reply.

"It's time," he told her quickly before returning to me.

In an almost manic manner, he gathered my bag, threw on his clothes, and dialed Jake. Then he slowed down enough to help me. Another contraction hit before I could make it out of the bathroom. I had to grab the counter for support, then his arms wrapped around me.

His eyes widened at me in the mirror before he asked, "How far apart are they?"

"About ten minutes, but they're getting stronger."

He pulled his phone out again and dialed as I breathed through the last waves gripping my stomach. "Dad, we're on the way to the hospital."

I was imagining a chaotic frenzy at their house as well. I'd asked Carlisle to be on stand-by during the births, just in case. The idea of having twins had seriously scared me after the novelty wore off. We'd considered a midwife, but in the end, I'd just really wanted Edward to be the one to bring our children into the world. Carlisle was the backup in the event that something went wrong. Ironically, my normally neurotic Edward had been totally calm about it all, secure in the world of medicine and delivering squalling babies. It was a good thing, because I'd grown less and less so as the days continued.

"Bella, love…I've got everything," he said just as Carlie appeared at the door. "I'm a little worried about how fast and hard the contractions are coming."

He was attempting to hurry me and his concern motivated me. "Okay." He was right to do so, I realized, as the contractions got harder and harder on the trip.

"Six minutes apart," Carlie told him from beside me as I attempted to breathe through the pain.

Edward had insisted that I sit in back of the Suburban with Carlie so that she could help me focus. I knew that Jacob, Seth, and Leah would be just minutes behind us, having dropped off Sam1 at Mrs. Slagle's for the night.

"Bella, practice your breathing," Edward said sagely, and I growled at him.

Stupid breathing…HA! Didn't help! And I wanted to tear out a little of his hair because of it. I looked up and caught him watching me in the rearview mirror. His eyes were crinkled which led me to believe he was smiling.

"Are you laughing at me?" I screeched, the contraction making me a witch.

"Absolutely not," he murmured and focused back on the road. I would just bet that he was grinning.

In reaction, I growled and turned to glare at Carlie. She held her hands up in surrender, clearly unwilling to engage in the battle I was itching to start. They were tag teaming me; Edward allowing her to be my focus while he drove quickly through the empty streets.

We reached the hospital just as the next contraction hit me. I crushed Carlie's hand while Edward disappeared from in front of me. I was ready to fuss about his abandonment when the door beside me opened, and I realized that he'd gone for a wheelchair.

"You're lucky that my water hasn't broken yet, or I would've ruined the leather," I snarked about the urban assault vehicle he'd bought.

At first, I'd felt like he'd gone to the extreme, but the fact that we, including Jake's family included, could all pile in one vehicle had been an advantage. With the twins' births, it would be too small, but Edward had adamantly stated he wasn't going to buy a passenger van.

But for now, Edward laughed at my snark before saying, "As if I would've said anything, love." He valued his life.

Seeing that I was capable of moving, he helped me turn toward him before taking a moment to run his hands up and down my arms in affection and encouragement. "Before you start calling me names, which I'm certain you will soon…" he grinned shyly, soothing the irritation I felt – even if it was justified "…I just wanted to tell you that I love you."

Patting his cheeks softly, I admitted the same. "Regardless of what I am most likely going to say soon, I love you, too."

~SOMP~

I had been impregnated by the Alien; I was convinced of this fact. There was no other explanation for the pain. Panting, I laid back on the pillows that Carlie had fluffed. She swiped my forehead with a cold wet cloth before I even had to ask.

"Good job, Bella," Edward said softly. He'd been encouraging me not to push with the pain. Now he gave me the words I'd been waiting to hear. "I'd like to check and see if you're ready to begin pushing."

I was fairly certain I sneered at him. Deep down inside, I knew I was being a witch and that he was being a saint, but at this particular moment I didn't care. Once the Aliens were out of me, I'd make it up to him. But for now, he disappeared under the sheets set up to protect Carlie from being mentally scarred, and I felt him trying to be gentle with his exam.

He smiled, coming around to kiss my forehead. "Love, you're ready with the next contraction. Are you as eager as I am to meet them?"

A rush of equal parts joy and panic rushed over me. I was ready to see them, but at the same time, I was scared as too many things could go wrong.

Two sets of green eyes assessed me accurately before glancing to each other.

"Bella, Carlie and I are here with you. I promise to take care of you."

I grabbed his hands with mine, seeking assurance, but suddenly, I needed more. Reaching up to grab the shirt of the scrubs he'd put on while the nurses prepped me, I pulled him down for a simple kiss. He smirked at me when we finally parted, but only for a moment, because I felt my stomach begin to tighten.

"Gotta push," I hissed out.

The nurse helped him put on the gloves, and just like that, I was able to finally work to bring our babies into the world.

**EPOV**

"7, 8, 9, 10," I counted out, watching Bella push with everything she had.

It was going well, but I silently hoped that the second baby would come quickly after the first. I didn't like seeing her in pain, nor did I want to perform a caesarean. But for now, our first child was about to join us and I couldn't think past what was needed; the head was crowning.

"Bella, give me one more hard push, love. I can see the baby's head."

A tear streaked down her exhausted face, but I saw her take a deep breath to do as requested. Carlie helped support her. Helping the baby's head and shoulders, I hardly had time to breath before our daughter was born. She heralded her birth with a wobbly cry, and I heard Bella sob at the sound.

"It's Nia, love. And she is beautiful."

I quickly cut the cord and wiped her as the nurse suctioned her nose and mouth. She, just as quickly, made me very aware that she didn't like the invasion; red-faced she let out a cry that produced an immediate tug at my heart. The flush of life's miracle ran across me. Our child…

"Hello, beautiful," I whispered before stepping to Bella's side and placing said miracle into her arms. Carlie's eyes were as round as owls' as she looked down at her sister, running her fingers across Nia's bald head. Bella swore she was going to have my hair…I was hoping for another Bella Jr..

But I had more to do, so stepping back to the cover, I worked to clean Bella, praying that Tony would follow quickly. My prayers were answered soon as Bella gasped, looking to me and handing Nia to Carlie. As Carlie crooned to her sister, Tony followed his sister's example, coming into the world testing his lungs. Even early, they were nice sized, five pounds for Nia and the same plus two ounces for Tony. Apgar and other tests only confirmed my initial assessment…normal, healthy babies.

And their mother… I was spellbound.

She was breathtaking as she nursed them, wanting to establish that bond quickly. She was beautiful as she fussed over them, taking the time to look at their toes and fingers, arms and legs. She was amazing as she smoothed her fingers over their faces and bodies, as if she was associating what she'd felt of Carlie with what she was seeing this time. She was my salvation as she kissed me, thanking me for giving her two such perfect children. As we gazed into one another's eyes, I wanted to correct her that I was the one who'd been blessed. The surreal feeling surrounding me was one I never wanted to forget. My family! A protective instinct as old as time flowed through me.

Finally exhausted, Bella fell asleep. And after tucking the blanket around her and kissing her forehead gently, Carlie and I tiptoed to the room beside us to introduce Edward Anthony Jr. and Maribella Antonia to the rest of the Cullens, the Blacks, and Velathris. But not before I turned at the door and glanced back at the woman that had given me my everything.

She would never really know how she'd saved me, but I intended to spend the rest of our lives doing my best to show her the depths of my love and gratitude.

**BPOV**

It was too quiet, and the lack of noise woke me. Even having moved into the new home, I was used to hearing the twins rustling in their sleep, compliments of the baby monitor. Before, in my and Carlie's small house, they'd shared a small crib beside Edward's and my bed. Now, they were in the nursery, just next to us. It would become a study and sitting room for Edward and me after they were old enough to move into the rooms designed for them, but for now it was perfectly placed, just through a broad archway.

But it was too quiet!

Grabbing my glasses from the bedside table, I climbed out of bed and pulled on my robe, moving quickly into the nursery, only to find it empty. So I headed for the large living room/kitchen area, wondering if Edward might have taken them there. Even approaching five months of age, they both had touches of colic, and he was constantly attempting to keep them from waking me…claiming "that I needed my sleep."

Moving into the room, I saw him slumped back against the cushions of the couch, Nia tucked into the crook of his right arm, Tony in the left. The babies had both drooled across his chest, and I could clearly guess that he'd leaned them against him, rubbing their backs to help soothe their disgruntled stomachs. Stretched across the couch, her head resting on a pillow beside his thigh, Carlie slept soundly. It was an ethereal picture, the unusually clear moonlight shining into the room and highlighting my family. The shadows around them made the perfect backdrop to the white light that made them glow.

I wished I could take a picture, so that Alice could paint them…the faint glistening of Edward's, Tony's, and Nia's bronze hair…the waves of Carlie's inky dark hair spreading across the pillow…the perfect relaxation in their features as sleep comforted them…the horrid scar that stood out on Edward's chest, just under Tony's chubby fist…the peacefulness.

My family…my everything.

Once, I'd thought the darkness had taken it all away. Instead, I considered the joys of seeing Edward love Nia and Tony as he played with them, nibbled their feet as they squealed, changed diapers and cleaned messes. I smiled at the memories of seeing him working with Carlie, bonding in his own special ways. I shivered with greed at his demands as he drove me insane with lust, and then in delight, remembering the feeling of his hands on me as he made love to me and cherished me…as he had earlier in the night, whispering of his love and adoration.

Yes…my family…my everything. Edward and I weren't perfect. We'd hurt each other, and then survived differing versions of existence as time and misunderstandings tried to poison us. I wanted to wake them, to celebrate in the glory that came from knowing we'd defeated the odds. But we'd learned that when the babies rested, to let them do so.

So instead, I went over to the window to look out into the moonlight.

I wondered if in one of the houses beside me one of the other Cullens might be staring out into the night. Carlisle and Esme were working hard with Sam2 and Madison; Edward declaring that they seemed even younger with the requirements of returned parenthood. Alice and Jasper…would she be up painting…something only her eyes saw that we might be later treated to, or was she cuddling one of their children, soothing a hurt…or maybe even just snuggling up to Jasper. Rose and Emmett…my big brother and his queen. He and Edward had disappeared one night, and I wondered if they were discussing Emmett's little 'secret.' I didn't know if I'd ever find out, but I'd seen the peace in Edward's face when they returned. I wanted to believe that it had been settled.

And at Jake's and Leah's…was my friend up attempting to stifle my best friend's snoring with a pillow? Usually, that led to other activities, but that was only what I'd been told. Jake and Leah had been my rocks as I learned to navigate my world…little had I known that life would bring me back to the man that had always been the center of it. Close to them, my daughter's center of her world rested safely in his bed, I was certain. We all knew that Seth had some nightmares from his experience, but the day he'd faced the child predator in court for the pre-trial hearing had seemed to strengthen him. He was a good man, and Sam1 and he were helping Sam2 and Madison to heal.

At another compound, also situated on the Sound, did the Velathris sleep soundly? Were Jane and Felix asleep or tangled around each other? Certainly Demetri and Elizabeth were…still fresh in their newly formed relationship. I'd enjoyed hearing about their courtship and laughed to know that he'd a plan after all. Once he'd given her a complete new tool chest, he'd then asked her to teach him how to use the mechanic's tools. It had been electric, fire and ice…the meshing of two strongly independent individuals, but who could resist a man who was willing to pull his shirt off and get greasy? Certainly not Elizabeth. Marcus and Didyme were ecstatic. Cauis…dear care-free Caius. He'd taken over the running of the vineyard with gusto, dragging Dora away with him.

Cia and Aro…did she hold him tightly? Tears started to fill my eyes as I remembered what he'd told me.

Cancer.

"_Isabella, I've done many things in life for which I should burn in the fires of hell. Not that this illness is my punishment, because many wonderful people must fight this fight, but one day, I'll face our maker in person and confess what I've only done so in the deepest recess of my heart. Death, or at least the threat of it, puts many things into perspective as you've clearly discovered. God and I…we've had a talk. I'm ready to face whatever his decision may be. But oh how I'll miss you."_

I'd sobbed, unwilling to face the world without my second father. I wasn't naïve enough to think I wouldn't care about what some of those "things" he'd done were, but the heart wanted what the heart wanted…and I wanted him to live and watch my babies grow. I wanted more memories of Tony and Nia spitting up down his back, and the elegant way in which he'd laughed about it. With all the positive things that had happened over the past year, the threat of Aro's death was something that I couldn't face just yet. I was praying for another miracle.

Miracles of love, forgiveness, and the belief that all humans were worthy of them were as ancient as the water that churned below me. Created by the same hands…

The Sound…it was as if it was an entity protecting us. I couldn't see it, but I knew it was there anyway. Below me, the water spread out like a comforting blanket, and if I'd opened the doors, the sound of the living, breathing water would have been a symphony. I liked those days when I could sit on the back porch with the twins and hear the waves, smell the brine in the air, and feel the sunshine on my nose. But tonight, on this rare, clear night, the moonlight shone brightly, highlighting those close to me as if to emphasize what I'd been graced with.

Sensing that I was being watched, I turned to find Edward's green eyes gazing at me with love and adoration, promising me a forever. I began to make my way toward him and our children, a way that had been lost for so long, and smiled, happy to know that I was doing so unafraid.

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><p><strong>Each posting, I ask for the gift of a review. I would love to hear from each individual that read this story, even if you've never taken the time to review in the past. What did you love about it? What did you hate? What was your favorite scene? What was your least? If you'd written this, what would you have changed? What would remain the same?<strong>

**Your thoughts would mean the world to me.**

**And…as I said above, it has been an honor to share the journey with you.**


	81. First Kiss

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**I've had so many PMs asking for outtakes for Sins, that this quick one wouldn't leave me alone. I'm writing the Edward/Bella version of the night, so I hope to have it posted soon. It was the original one I started on, but it has turned into a beast. It may have to be several postings. I hope you enjoy this one and as the mood hits me, I may add more outtakes. Let me know if you have any preferences. For those here in the United States, wishing you a good start to the holiday seasons.**

**Please see the A/N at the end.**

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><p><strong>Carlie POV<strong>

I watched as my parents turned onto the road and saw my mom wave goodbye to me. A part of me wanted to go with them, to be with the babies on Christmas Eve, but it was okay, because I knew I'd have the morning with them. It was my mom's and dad's first wedding anniversary, and as much as I might like to spend the night with them, I really didn't want to be around for their kind of celebration.

So instead, I turned and took Seth's hand to walk back into Grandfather Billy's house to get our coats. It was cold as heck, but we'd decided to go to the beach. After telling his parents where we were going, Seth and I bundled up and moved toward the door. Ignoring Daddy's warning glance, Seth grabbed the thermos of hot chocolate and two cups Aunt Leah offered us.

"Jacob, how many times did we walk on the beach?" I heard Aunt Leah ask just before we walked out. She was warning him to stop glaring.

"One too many times," I heard him grumble as we closed the door.

Stepping off the porch, Seth chuckled before saying, "You know, some day I'm going to remind him that I'm the result of all that bad behavior. It's kinda bad for my ego."

Yeah, right, I thought, looking over to him. Actually, it would be more accurate to say, looked up at him. He'd hit another growth spurt over the summer, and I swear it was as if he'd grown a foot. I felt like a fragile china doll compared to him. He was, by no means, an egomaniac, but he definitely had a good sense of self. Nothing seemed to bother him…he was just very comfortable in his own skin.

"Pfft…" I spit out, earning a chuckle.

We moved side by side down the trail toward the beach, snuggling against each other. It was going to be really cold when we hit the beach, so I was grateful that Seth had also grabbed an over-sized blanket. There was a large piece of driftwood we always sat on that would provide a little buffer, but not much. When we stepped out of the woods, I gasped at how beautiful the sky was above us. It was a clear night, and the stars were bright in the sky, twinkling like a million diamonds. I breathed a sigh of relief to feel that the almost constant wind was absent.

Not to wax poetic, but it reminded me of the story Dad always read us, _The Night Before Christmas_.

Nothing was stirring, not even the mouse…

I giggled about it, earning a quick look from Seth. "What are you thinking about?" he asked me.

"Just about dad reading _The Night Before Christmas_?"

"Yeah…um…you know that is so going to happen again tonight, right?"

"Of course! It wouldn't be Christmas Eve without it," I admitted. "I was just thinking this…" I motioned to the sky above and the peacefulness of the waves crashing against the shore "…is pretty cool. There's no one here; it's kinda nice. We don't get to be alone much, you know."

"Agreed," he said, shrugging.

Moving over to the large piece of wood that stuck up out of the sand, he spread the blanket out on it and waved for me to sit. Only when we sat down and were firmly wrapped in the blanket together, did he unscrew the top of the old thermos and pour out the steaming hot cocoa into the cups I held out. The steam from it rose in great clouds. We sat for the longest, just enjoying the warmth from the mugs.

"Man, the moon is huge tonight," he finally commented as he put the cups and empty thermos in a bag. He was right, it was sitting low over the water. "I have to admit that I wished it was snowing like last year at your parents' wedding." Then he added, "But it is nice to sit here."

My nose was cold, and I was certain I looked like Rudolph, but I was warm inside the blanket. Seth was my own personal heater.

"I miss you," he said softly, causing me to turn to him abruptly.

"What?" I said quickly, uncertain what he meant.

Seeing the look in my eyes, he explained. "I know you're only just a couple of miles down the road, but it's hard…you being that far away. I…" he left off.

I was the girl here; therefore, I was the one who usually made the heartfelt statements. So to hear Seth say something so…emotional…was pretty shocking. Reaching up with my hands, I turned his face in my direction. "Hey! What's wrong?"

"Nothing, really." He grinned, and it seemed to be genuine. "It's just hard not being able to see you every day. I'm trying to be patient," he admitted. "I want you to continue getting to know your dad and spend time with Tony and Nia, but I get jealous sometimes." Reaching up to capture my hands in his, he pulled one of my palms to his lips, to kiss it. "Don't worry. I'm just being a baby; I want you to get to do all that stuff."

"Have I been ignoring you?" I was suddenly afraid that I had.

"NO! Carlie, seriously forget it, okay." When I didn't say anything, he reached up to brush his fingertips across my cheeks. "I've got to learn what it means to share you a little," he chuckled. "But not tonight. Tonight…" he laced his arms around me, squeezing me a little "…tonight you're all mine." His voice was gruff in my ear.

We were pressed together, separated by several thick layers of coats, but it was as if fire raced across my skin. He must have felt the same thing, because he froze and then began to pull back slowly, glancing down at my lips as he did. Clearing his throat, he turned sideways, throwing his arm around my shoulder.

"Would it be so bad?" I asked without thinking. That he didn't respond for a moment told me he was thinking the same thing.

"Carlie, we decided to wait for our first kiss so that it would be special."

"And this isn't?" I asked, looking around to the tide rushing in just yards from us, the sky crystal clear, and the stars lording over us. We'd made it to fifteen and a half. Everyone I knew had snuck kisses from people just to practice, and I told him so. "Seth, I'm not trying to make you change your mind, but it isn't as if everyone else we know hasn't kissed someone. They're doing it because they want to see what kissing is like."

"I only want to see what kissing you is like," he announced softly.

Yes...exactly, I thought. My heart skipped several beats at the love I saw in his eyes. I had no desire to kiss just to be kissing. I wanted to touch my lips to his and his only. Turning back to watch the tide roll in and then pull back, I looked out to sea, seeing a few dark things in the distance. There were several small islands just off the shore. They'd probably been there forever, standing solidly, unmoved by the storms and sea that battled against them. Just like Seth…

"We decided we wanted the first kiss to be special, not something that was done in the heat of it. We could renegotiate." I swear I heard him groan beside me, but it was so low it was difficult to tell. "Tonight is special. It's Christmas Eve, and God knows it is too cold to get too carried away."

He chuckled, but I swear I heard him mutter, "Yeah, right." I might have thought he was ignoring me, but he wasn't. He moved slightly and I squealed when he brought out a small package from under the blanket. He was distracting me.

"I was talking to your dad the other day, when we went to pick up some presents for you and Aunt Bella. He told me that he and your mother have started this tradition of giving each other a small present on Christmas Eve. I kinda liked the idea, so I thought I'd propose we do the same thing."

I was put out with him. He hadn't told me; otherwise, I could've pulled something out from under the tree for him. That I glared at him for a moment must have given my thoughts away.

"Hey! You can start next year. I wanted it to be my special thing this time." He grinned so broadly that even in the faint light of the moon his teeth flashed white.

He was killing me. Like my dad, I was a sucker for gifts. It was like offering me chocolate…I couldn't resist. Taking the gift from him, I barely had the ability to threaten him, before I began tearing into the paper. "When we get to the house in the morning, I'm sneaking one of your gifts out before we sit down. You have to open it then! Okay?"

"Sure, sure," he muttered as he grabbed at the strips of paper that would have fallen to the ground. I was too mesmerized by what I had in my hands to care.

It was a small photograph album filled with special shots from our trip to Paris over the summer. On the left hand pages, he'd penned some of his favorite things and thoughts about us…and to the right were pictures that corresponded with his words. There were silly shots and serious ones mixed in together. I held it together until I reached the back page; which is when I started crying. The picture was one of us at the Eiffel tower, and where his handwriting would have been, a bracelet had been taped instead. It was silver…or at least I hoped it was considering my father most likely had been involved in helping Seth to choose it. A delicate Eiffel tower charm dangled from the links.

It had been my favorite stop of our trip…going up to the top, harassing the street vendors around the area, having a pencil portrait done of Seth and me. We'd eaten from a cart and lazed in the sun as my mother took a break. Tony and Nia were but weeks old, and my father had insisted on toting them in a carrier against him to give my mother a break. While she napped, her head on my dad's lap, the babies beside her, Seth and I had generally acted like tourists.

"Seth!" I gasped, being extra cautious to pull the tape off to keep from tearing the paper.

"Here," he chuckled as he took it, seeing my hands shaking with excitement. Then he confirmed my worst suspicions with his next words, "Your dad helped me pick out the bracelet."

"What did you do to get the money?" I said as harshly as possible, while I grinned in excitement the entire time.

"None of your beeswax," he mumbled, while he adeptly latched it around my left wrist. "But it is my biggest present for you …" he admitted with a shy grin and shrug of his shoulders. The gesture made him look like a little boy.

So much a little boy…so much a man. The love I felt for him filled me, and I just knew I had to take the initiative. "Seth…I want to kiss you," I admitted. "Now…not in another six months," I added, so that there was no misunderstanding.

His actions gave him away. He gulped dramatically, and his eyes moved to my lips. "Carlie…" he began to say something, but I stood, and moving under the protection of the large blanket he'd wrapped around us I worked my way between his legs. "It's my present to you," I proposed, throwing in "because I wasn't informed to bring anything" to make him feel guilty.

It wasn't like I went really slowly, but he had enough time to stop me if he'd wanted to. Instead, his hands gripped my hips as if he was holding on for dear life. As if pulled by an invisible, unbreakable cord to him, I bent and lowered my lips to just within an inch of his. It was as close as we'd ever been to it, and I saw the uncertainty in his face. "Stop me if you don't want this," I whispered and heard him catch his breath.

His answer was to lean up and press his lips to mine.

My reaction was spontaneous. It was heaven, and I reached out for him, putting my hands on his broad shoulders to balance. I felt as if I was going to faint. It wasn't really just a kiss, but a bunch of them all together, as he moved his lips across mine. Touching, testing, pressing, but never going any farther. It was the most wonderful of things. I didn't know if it was the roar of the ocean or my blood that drowned out everything else. But for a moment, even the beauty of the sky, the sound of the ocean, and the magic of Christmas lost out to the wonder of our first kiss.

He groaned for just a moment before pulling back. My lips felt tender and when my cold fingers pressed to them, I gasped, looking up to see the hungry look on his face. This time his fingers slipped into my hair, and I shivered at the combination of the cold and the feel of his large hand cupping the back of my head. Just inches apart, he looked deeply into my eyes. "Carlie…" he said softly, his breath washing over my face "…I love you."

This time the kiss went deeper, only stopping when I sagged against him and we realized the danger. Panting from the hormones racing through us, we found the strength to stop.

"I love you too, Seth," I said when he placed his cheek to mine, giving me a hug that was loving, comforting, and possessive all at the same time. That we were both shaking, and not from the cold, indicated how much we were feeling.

"Merry Christmas, Carlie," he said, rubbing his big hand over my back.

"Merry Christmas," I murmured, snuggling into him, enjoying the comfort of his arms around me.

~SOMP~

"Carlie," Seth whispered, just before we moved from the trail into Grandfather Billy's backyard.

"Yeah."

"Can we wait until after tomorrow before we…um…let our parents find out about this." He was nervous, and considering how Uncle Jake was going to act, he was right to be.

Stopping so that he had to look at me, I cracked up at the real fear in his face. "Are you afraid Dad is going to kill you or take your gifts away?" I tried not to laugh.

"Both," he answered in a miserable tone, but then he turned all sexy on me and looked down at my lips again, his eyes going even darker. "Ah…forget it. It was worth it. Just remember me fondly," he joked.

That was it…I lost it, and as we both broke down laughing. When Uncle Jake opened the door to stare out at us like we were lunatics, I thought…

Gah! Pandora's Box…we'd opened it, and how sweet it was.

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><p><strong>For those of you that requested this, I hope you enjoyed, and, of course, I would love to know what you thought about this. As well as...as mentioned above...others you would like to see.<strong>

**I posted Seth and Carlie's first kiss as a thank you to whichever reader nominated Sins of My Past as one of the top ten completed fics for October over on Twifanfictionrecs dot com. Please go over and look at all the stories nominated. You may not choose Sins as your fav, but there are some great stories there. ;)**

** twifanfictionrecs dot com /2012/11/01/vote-for-your-top-ten-completed-fics-october-2012/**

**My thanks to TwiLoverSue, who betaed this in a pinch for me.**


	82. The Spoils of War

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.

**I've had so many PMs asking for outtakes for Sins, and this pairing seems to be a favored one. SMILE. This outtake takes place at Christmas time – one year after Bella's and Edward's wedding, and at the same time as the First Kiss/Carlie-Seth one. **

**Yes, I'm still writing the Edward/Bella version of the night, but as I mentioned last time it has turned into a beast. It may have to be several postings. I hope you enjoy this one, and as the mood hits me, I will add more outtakes. Let me know if you have any preferences. **

**I want to thank the readers that went over to vote for Sins in the TwiFanFicRec's Top Ten Favorites. Sins did place in the top ten, and I am significantly honored that you took the time to go over and vote! **

**I was just informed that Sins has also been nominated on Rob's Attack, best Rec'd Fan Fic – completed stories. Use the http then:**

robattack

.wordpress

.com

/tag/best-recd-on-fanfiction-fridays-2012-voting/

**I don't know who took the time to nominate me, but my utmost appreciation. I'm glad you've enjoyed the story enough to do so.**

**By the way, this is completely unbeated – so all mistakes are mine. My beta was a little busy…snicker. Personal joke. She'll probably find a ton to change, so if she does, I'll update so that it doesn't make your eyes bleed.**

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><p><strong>Demetri POV<strong>

War…

Traditionally, it was seen as an all-out engagement of forces diametrically opposed to each other's precepts, intent on annihilation, or at the least the surrender, of the other side. War brought casualties and concessions. Rarely did the forces come away without insult and subjugation.

I fought a war daily with the monsters I stalked across the internet, or in the rare case of Esme and Carlisle Cullen's newest daughters an actual race across the city. It was unusual for me to face the men and women I tracked except in the interrogation room, long after I had enough information to bury them away to rot in prison. No false modesty, but I'd become good at following them…defining their essence in the places they visited, the words they used, the cadence of life they established until I used the knowledge I'd built to capture them. It was the fine things that gave individuals away…the phrases of the corporate tycoon who also visited websites intent on finding underage girls…the woman who sold her own sisters who was unwise enough to remain in the area she was most comfortable with…in the ego of the human trafficker whose god complex was his downfall.

Yes, the enemy could be very crafty and elusive…but no more so that the one I was tracking now.

Highly intelligent, she'd counter-maneuvered me more times than I would like to admit. With brilliant tactics, she'd effectively destroyed weeks of careful planning time and time again, leaving me to start at ground zero in my pursuit. As my frustration mounted, my desire to capture her grew. She'd started as an obsession, so I didn't even know what to label her at this point.

For now, I remained hidden in the dark recesses of a corner where I awaited her. The lights that provided security for the party venue couldn't reach into the depths I'd selected. So, I remained still, and I watched. My nostrils flared when I saw her…saw the flash of metal in her hand…the way she fluidly glided along the ground like an otherworldly creature with the man at her side. When she entered the building in front of her, I followed.

The din of the voices and music inside the museum provided the perfect backdrop for the confrontation that needed to occur. There were important people present - dignitaries, heads of state, the new and old vanguard of political parties and programs all decked out in their Christmas finest. Stuffed with the delicacies being served and wooed by the expensive champagne provided to smooze them, the participants of the fund raiser were ripe for the plucking of anyone who had the knowledge and skill.

And the one I was following had those things in excess.

Platinum blond hair…

Vibrant blue eyes…

And angel's body…

And a devil's mind…

Her escort was amazingly aware of her ability to set those around her at ease, and he was utilizing her skills admirably.

"Velathri, come here. I want to introduce you around," my supervisor said upon seeing me. Luckily, my prey had joined a group across the way and didn't hear him call out to me. The element of surprise was a time-honored strategy and not one I was willing to concede so early in this skirmish.

Smoothing down the fabric of my tuxedo, I joined him, counting the seconds before I could commence the chase again.

"You never attend these things," he said, pointing out the fact that I adamantly refused to abide by the dictates surrounding political events.

I'd heard a multitude times how important it was to play the game if I wanted to rise in the ranks of the FBI. But I knew that my family connections would always limit just how far I went. Trust was trust, but my family and their reputation would always keep me from the upper echelon. It was a position I was surprisingly fine with. I loved what I did, and I didn't need to become a political puppet.

No…I'd never found the elitist parties worth the while until now.

I grinned seeing the flash of my prey's red silk evening gown…the way her hair cascaded down her back from the fancy twist she's utilized to pull it away from her exquisite face. She wore red lipstick, and I had difficulty tearing my gaze away. Suffering through the rounds of introductions, I kept my eyes on her as a conciliatory prize for having to endure the socializing. Soon, I talked my boss into moving us toward the powerhouses…those bastions of federal intrigue. And then it happened - Howard Teten's eyes caught mine, and his lit in unholy pleasure at seeing me.

"_Demetri Velathri, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"_

"_Sir, you are aware of my pursuit of your granddaughter, as I'm aware of your monitoring of it."_

"_Yes. And I would assume you have come to ask me a question."_

"_One of utmost importance. Your permission…"_

"_For?_

"_Her hand, sir. If you should feel me worthy."_

At his smile…I didn't know whether to retreat or stand my ground, but I decided to do as I pleased and began walking toward him and the beauty at his side.

Elizabeth had no clue that I was closing in for the kill, and I wanted to snarl at the upstart who was attempting to monopolize her attention. I would tear him to little pieces. When she actually laughed and put her hand on his forearm in jest, I growled. I wanted to shout out MINE! But by the barest trace of civility I was able to keep from pounding the black headed man into the floor. Teton's expression at seeing the possessive look on my face was one of amusement and anticipation.

"Jones…" Teton nodded to my boss, bringing us into the group's conversation. Then he attempted not to smirk as he acknowledged me. "Velathri."

Elizabeth's face jerked from where she'd been speaking to the man…a man whose minutes were numbered if he didn't step away from her. She glared at me as introductions were made around the circle.

I attempted not to appear pleased. She hadn't expected me to follow her to D.C., much less to appear at a dinner. Ah…so little did she know of my tactical surprises. When dinner was announced, I strategically made sure to be beside her so that I could place my hand at her back in a deferential and polite manner.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed softly, her head angled just slightly so that I would only hear her.

"I was invited," I answered, nodding in welcome to one of the territory supervisors at our side.

"Go away!" she muttered.

"I'm afraid I can't, Elizabeth. Oh and look, we're seated by each other. How convenient."

I'd paid a pretty penny to bribe the servers to arrange us this way, and I planned to get my money's worth. Her grandfather sat to her other side, and Elizabeth attempted to effectively ignore me. It worked to a degree. She never said a word to me, but throughout the dinner and the speeches afterward, I used every excuse to brush up against her leg, or send my breath over her exposed arm - a dropped napkin, a turn to speak to someone who came up behind us, standing as various individuals deserved ovations.

I knew her body like it was my own by this point. We'd played this cat and mouse game…engaged in this war…for nigh onto a year. My first use of a public event to force us together had been Edward's and Isabella's wedding. When Elizabeth had turned to see me and Felix in attendance, I'd thought she was going to pull a gun and shoot me. There had been a plethora of events over the year that I'd ambushed her at, but I couldn't likely tell anyone which I enjoyed more…the public battle of wits or the times that we met in private…lust ridden encounters at the whims of us both…my apartment…her office…but never her home. I was holding that in my cache of strategic surprises.

I was winning this war. It was only a matter of time before Elizabeth surrendered and gave into her feelings for me. I loved her…she was mine…and it was getting time for her to admit it. Her emotions were clear in the privacy of the night when she was replete from our love making. But as soon as the light of day, or the world outside the secluded interludes I fashioned, intruded, she withdrew, as if to plan her next foray.

She loved me but refused to admit it.

I carried the ring I'd bought for her in my pocket no matter where I went, no matter where I chased her. My mother and father be damned, because the minute she said yes, we were flying to Vegas. We could do a family affair afterward, but Elizabeth would be mine with all haste. Well, just as soon as I could convince her.

I saw her uncharacteristically squirm beside me as the announcement came that we should move to the ballroom and attempted not to smirk. Let her worry; I had no plans to confront her on the dance floor. I wanted her to worry, to wonder what my next move would be. I wanted her every thought to be of me; I wanted it to consume her.

She would suspect that I'd wait for her at her hotel, but that was too convenient and likely. Elizabeth had trained me to be anything but normal and predictable, because those attempts typically ended in defeat or a draw. Her hotel room was covered in roses and champagne. The sheets were turned down, and mood music filled the air - I'd made sure of this. But I wouldn't be there to greet her. I wanted her to think, to contemplate, to worry when I would next strike.

Using the opportunity, as I bowed in goodbye to her grandfather, to circumstantially run my fingers across her neck, I left Elizabeth to wonder my next step.

Elizabeth POV

Throwing my bags down in the entrance way in frustration, I closed my eyes to breathe in the fragrance, the ambiance of home. This was my retreat from when the world became chaotic, and the sense of peacefulness immediately began to work on my harried nerves. The flight had been delayed and then traffic had been a bear. But I had to be honest enough to admit that those normal stressors weren't what had me disjointed.

It was him…damned Suit.

It was bad enough that my grandfather had requested that I attend the Christmas party with him in Washington. He knew my feelings about most of his colleagues, but he'd guilt tripped me anyway.

"_Libby, is it too much to ask that you spend two days with me. I haven't seen you in forever."_

Such a clever man. He'd had to ruin it, of course, when he asked just why I'd been so quiet as of late and inferred that it might have to do with a man…a certain Italian American. Just how much my grandfather knew, I probably didn't want to know.

But then Demetri had to appear like an apparition in the night, like one of my darkest fantasies come true. And, I'd been furious about my spontaneous reaction to him in a tuxedo. I wasn't a young woman prone to flights of lust-driven irrationality, except for in relation to him.

I'd analyzed over and over again this thing between us. He made my body sing as no other had ever done. He made me wild and wanton. He made me live life on the edge and engage in moments of pure irrationality. He tested me…teased me…challenged me. But what he also did was make me lose control, and that was something I'd spent years professionally perfecting.

However, the thing that had niggled in the back of my brain…the thought that harassed me when I took the time to contemplate it…was that I'd never striven to be a control freak in my own life, just my professional one. So why his mannerisms challenged me so was still a mystery. But it was an enigma that I was dedicated to solving, to investigating to the fullest extent.

No, the reason I was so agitated was that when I'd returned to my room fully intent on squaring off in a fight with him to be followed by an equally vigorous bout of lovemaking, I'd been met with a romantic scene worthy of seduction and no Demetri.

Damned Suit…

I'd needed him. I'd needed to spar with him, then pull him to me and destroy the posh image he'd presented in that tuxedo. I'd needed to run my fingers through his hair and send it askew and bite the skin of his neck. I'd needed to feel him in me, filling me, making me come apart and protecting me while I did. And he hadn't been there, and I'd been needy and agitated ever since.

Damned Suit…

Kicking off my heels in frustration, I moved to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. A good hot shower would hopefully help with my mood, then bed. That tomorrow was Sunday and I hadn't scheduled any therapy sessions until mid-week as a break to myself would help before I had to return to work. Christmas time was hard on a lot of individuals, the demands of family and memories often overwhelming the reason for the season. I'd work only two days for my neediest clients before the weekend again and then the holiday. But I also knew I had to take care of myself, or I would be more hindrance than help. That I was agitated wasn't good.

Go find Demetri… My inner voice suggested.

Shut up! I snarled, but then acknowledged the brilliance of her plan. Had he been in my hotel room, I would've been able to settle my world immediately. Instead, I'd spent the night longing for him and the plane trip home fantasizing. I had a more than healthy fantasy life, but at least with him, reality was better.

Huffing at the stirring of desire racing across my skin at my thoughts, I determined to follow through on that shower.

Steam rose around me, slightly fogging the glass before I reached for the loofa and body wash. That I gasped in pleasure when I ran it over my nipples told me how bad off I was. I could take care of this myself and actually ran my fingers over the tight nubs envisioning Demetri's hands and lips instead of my fingers. Groaning, I startled at how loud my reaction sounded…as if there was a reverberation in the bathroom around me. I knew that if I touched between my legs, my world would explode, but I suddenly wanted to postpone it, to savor the burn.

I wanted him. It was pure and simple. And although taking care of my needs would certainly satisfy the physical demands, I wanted to feel his skin against mine…to feel his lips tugging on me…to fill his cock buried deep in me.

Cock… I grinned in savage satisfaction at the word.

He lost control when I talked dirty; it was one of my best strategies against him. The first time I'd done so, he'd come unglued, and I'd realized what a powerful weapon I possessed. His eyes and nostrils had flared and he'd frozen, his hands cupping my breasts.

"_What did you say?"_ he'd growled out.

"_I want your cock. I want to taste you and feel you ride my mouth."_

I still smiled in glee at the mayhem my words had caused. I hadn't had that many orgasms in one night since college, since I'd dared to love and had my heart broken. But that was neither here nor there now. I'd healed and gone on, but I hadn't put myself out there in this way again…until Demetri. And although I didn't make it a habit of using such "vulgar," as many would call it, language, I wasn't averse to utilizing the weapons I'd been handed. See…I was even thinking in military terms like him.

So against the demands of lust, I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. A quick cleanser, floss, and brushing of teeth was all I was going to do. I threw the towel into the dirty clothes hamper in the walk in closet and indulged in a whim. Reaching into one of the drawers, I pulled out Demetri's t-shirt. It was one he'd left by accident at my office during one of the sneak attacks he'd pulled. He'd never mentioned it, and I'd never offered up the information that I still had it in my possession. It was worn and soft and still smelled of him, although the scent was fading from the many times I'd worn it.

My nipples peaked at the brush of the material, as if in recognition of the owner's finesse. Damn…I was bad off. Taking my hair down out of the clip, I ran a quick brush through it and was ready to attempt to sleep. Perhaps I would be able to, because I'd finally made the decision to find him tomorrow. I was certain he was back in Seattle.

_Tomorrow_, I promised the throbbing between my legs, the blood racing through me, my skin that begged to be touched. Moonlight flowed over my bed as I entered the room that beckoned me to rest.

But then everything changed as arms grabbed me around the waist from behind, and I was pulled back into a muscular body. The scream and self-defense moves that instantaneously emerged only survived a nano-second as everything within me groaned in recognition of the feel of him.

Suit!

Instead, cries of need filled the air as his hands covered my aching breasts and his teeth nibbled at my neck. He was thoroughly aroused, and I could feel the hard length of him pressing against my back.

Oh God…yes.

"Mine…" he growled as he pinched my hard nipples, and I realized it had been him groaning in the bathroom as he watched me through the glass. Had I know he'd been watching, I would have put on more of a show, because it drove him crazy when I touched myself.

His shirt was off of me before I knew what happened and Deme's fingers splayed over my stomach, smoothing over my skin as he moved to touch me. The pleasure when he did so caused my legs to go limp, and losing control, I slumped against him, pushing back against his cock. Yes, it was going to be one of those kinds of nights. It was too needy to be made love to, and I was going to use everything within my arsenal to make sure that he took me hard and fast.

"Like that my sweet," he said lowly, softly, his fingers pressing against my clit before smoothing down to slide through my folds. "So wet for me, Elizabeth." His hand around my breast tightened harshly at his words. "I can make you wetter," he promised.

His teeth nipped my earlobe while his hips rocked him into me in tandem with his fingers. I screamed from the intense desire as he slipped one of his thick fingers in me.

"Tell me!" he ordered.

"Fuck…" I uttered, and heard him chuckle before running his teeth down the curve of my neck.

"Such language from those lips." He pumped his fingers in me again, using his thumb to brush my clit. A cry of such distress broke from me as he did so.

"I want you to fuck me. I want your cock so deep in me that I can't remember where I end and you begin. I need to feel you so much that it is painful, and when I cum around you…squeezing my cock…" his breathed hitched at my possessiveness in regards to his body "…I want your teeth at my breast biting me.

He shook at what I'd said. Take that…I thought. I have my surprises too…Mr. Breaking and Entering. But then all rational thought fled as he used his strength to pick me up and carry me to the bed. But instead of being laid out across the covers as I expected, he pushed my back down so that I lay across the bed my butt in the air, the cool silk of my bedspread tantalizing my hard nipples.

"You want me deep, Elizabeth?" he asked, smoothing his hands over my butt cheeks, his finger ghosting between them and causing me to squirm at the pleasure. I barely registered the sound of his jeans dropping to the floor or the certain whisper of sound as his shirt joined them. I was too needy, the feel of the silk against me causing goose bumps to rise across my skin.

A scream tore from me when his lips replaced his hands, skimming over me. He roughly bumped my legs farther apart and grabbed my hips to readjust me, and then his tongue speared me, licking at the moisture dripping from me.

"So good," I thought I heard him growl, but I was too caught up in the heat pooling in my core, the feel of his tongue inside me then swirling around my clit, to respond.

"Deme!" His name tore out of me, when his fingers plunged inside and hit that spot that made me see stars.

Heedless to anything but what I needed, I brought my hands to my breast, caressing my nipples as he pleasured me with my tongue and fingers. Panting, I focused on the feel of his hair brushing against the tender insides of my thighs, the slight stubble of his face abraiding the swollen flesh of my core, the roughness of his tongue as he swirled, pushed, bit, and sucked at me. Allowing my nipples to fall to the whims of the silk, I had to grab at the covers, clawing really, as waves of desire sucked at me, threatened to pull me under and render me senseless.

Nails sank into the silk, muscles beginning to seize as the blinding hot pleasure racing over me, delirious to anything other than the feel of him, I cried out. Shattering to a million pieces, I was tossed to the waves, carried up and down as I came on his mouth. A growl barely registered through the haze, and I groaned when he plunged into me, his groin coming into contact with my ass hard as he pushed into me.

"I'm going to fuck you until you can't see, Elizabeth," he promised hoarsely, his breath stirring over my ear.

I was already there, but couldn't say anything as he pulled back. My walls sucked at him greedily, unwilling to let go, and I felt his tremors against me. Another scream tore from me as he slammed into me again, and again, and again. Fingers flexing against the silk, I could do nothing more than focus on how good it felt, how he filled me almost to the point of pain, of the silk sliding across my nipples as his hips forced me against the fabric. And as if it they'd never really stopped, the waves of my release began to build again…the pressure and heat scorching me. He was growing more erratic, his fingers digging into my hips and holding me at an angle that was good for us both. He hit me in just the right spot as he surged in me, and soon, it felt as if I was going to die from the tightness. I couldn't squeeze him any harder…couldn't take anymore.

"You can do it," he said darkly, almost as if he could read my mind. "Give me another one, baby. Suck my cock dry."

"Deme!" his name tore from my lips again as the most exquisite pleasure broke over me, and I came around him. "I love you." The words tore free from that spot where I'd kept them chained.

He froze at my words.

Oh my God…what had I done? Would I have pulled the words back if I could? It didn't matter; because it was too late…my cards were laid out on the table. And I was lost to my body's reaction to him.

Trembling like a leaf in the wind against me, he tugged at my hair. "I love you, too, baby. God…more than you know," he cried out. "AARGH!" He screamed against my shoulder, grinding hard against me as he came in great waves before he collapsed on top of me.

It should have felt restrictive, but I reveled in the feel of his big body covering me, the tickle of his chest hairs brushing over my back, the smoothing of his fingertips at my hips in direct contrast to how he'd gripped me as if his life depended on it just moments before. Now I could sleep. I'd worry about this change in us tomorrow.

"Stay," I forced out in a whisper. It was all the energy I had left.

I felt his lips curl into a smile against me just before I was cradled into strong arms and moved to lay upon my pillow.

_Home…I'd found it_, I thought as I drifted to sleep.

Diffuse light disturbed me, but it was the smell of bacon that finally stirred me from sleep. I opened my eyes to see Demetri entering my bedroom.

He smiled softly with just a hint of trepidation. He'd never visited my home, and he knew that what he'd done just might have crossed a line. But fear and all, he continued to approach with the white flag, which was in the form of a tray. Rising to lean pack against the pillows, I pushed the mess of my unruly hair behind my shoulders and pull the covers up to cover my naked breasts.

I could smell the bacon and eggs, and admired the red rose he'd put into a small vase…but what caught my attention was the blue box sitting just to the side of the plate.

It couldn't be…

Ignoring my shock, he scooted into bed beside me and reached down to fork a small bite of eggs into my mouth, before doing the same for him. He had to reach up and move my jaw for me to get me chewing. And then as if this was the most normal of breakfasts, he continued to feed me, bringing the orange juice up for me to drink while our eyes met over the glass. Then, when the food was all done, he picked up the box, placing it onto my lap as he left to take the tray back to the kitchen.

All I could do was stare down at it. My mind had been consumed by a whirlwind of shock, and I could admit reckless desire, since seeing it on the tray, but the moments of eating had given me time to calm. Clever Suit. He'd done it on purpose, letting me filter through everything before talking. We'd only just admitted to our feelings. So how in the world he thought we were ready for this level of commitment, I couldn't comprehend. But my inner voice rose, taunting me. _How can you let him leave after finally giving in to the feelings you've kept bottled up inside?_

Admiring the sight of him as he moved back into the room, clad only in his boxers, I couldn't help the flare of heat that swamped me. I desired him, trusted him, admired him… He was intelligent, handsome, and loyal.

He loved me…

Instead of moving to sit beside me, he instead lay on his stomach, supporting his chin in his hand so that he could look directly at me.

"Have you stopped hyperventilating yet?" he asked.

I would've been mad at him, if it wasn't true. It was just a sign of how well he did know me. No we hadn't done the whole dating thing. In fact, we'd acted crazy, sneaking around and ambushing each other. But the man knew me like no one else; I had a chest of tools in the garage that proved it.

"Yes…" I responded, my fingertip grazing the box lightly as I gazed down on it.

"Hey…" he said softly, gathering my attention again. That his blue eyes twinkled with adoration helped settle me. "I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know you better. We can do this like others would deem normal and date for a while, but I don't want to be away from you any longer. It kills me to sleep in my bed alone, knowing that you are here doing the same thing and that we could be together in this. I know you, like I've never known another. That I desire you is obvious…" I smirked at that, because my body was still humming from his little demonstration of the night before "…but it isn't just the physical stuff. I want to wake beside you, cook you breakfast when I can, snuggle back into the covers with you, instead of sneaking away like someone you are ashamed of…or something you are ashamed of."

"I'm not ashamed of you!" I gasped, afraid my actions had been misinterpreted.

He grinned, and it lit his face. "I know, but doesn't it seem that way. We're grown adults. I know that we'll keep battling through this thing we have, but I want to commit to doing it together." He reached over and grabbed my free hand, pulling it over to place above his heart. "Do you feel that? My heart…you own it. That isn't going to change."

Feeling the warmth of his skin and the thudding of his heart made me flush. Even with David, I'd never felt this way. I knew what Demetri and I had was unique and special. These types of love only came around once for most people. I wasn't stupid enough to throw it away…but could I go this far? So soon?

And then voice was back again. _Why not? What is holding you back?_

I heard him gasp when I opened up the box and saw the perfectly simple but exquisite solitaire. It was round and sparkled in the platinum setting, even in the still burgeoning light from the windows.

"I want to take you to Tiffany's to choose another setting…something you'll like."

"It's perfect the way it is, Deme. Just perfect." And it was. I was betting that it was more expensive than I could ever guess…perfect and full of hidden depths. He'd described me that way once.

Keeping my hand at his heart, he sat up and scooted closer to me. "Marry me, Elizabeth? Make me the happiest person in the world. Move in with me, or I'll move in here…or we'll buy a whole new place and start anew. Just don't make us stay apart any longer. You've led me a pretty chase. I'll keep on doing it, if you need me to, but I'd rather use my energy chasing you around this bed."

He left my palm over his heart but used his hands to cup my face. "I love you." He let the words sink in. Words that thrown out in passion could be taken one way, but said in the light of a new day couldn't be taken any other way but seriously and introspectively. "Please be my wife?"

His heart thumped erratically as I answered, the desires of my heart winning out over all the fears and shouts of restraint that rose up from the too analytical part of me. "Yes."

A groan ripped from his chest as he kissed me in a needy manner. Already desiring him again, I moved to pull him over me, but he stopped my advances.

"No…not yet," he muttered, searching the covers around us to come up with the box I'd knocked away in my haste to touch him. While he gazed into my eyes, I felt the platinum of the ring slid over my knuckle for a perfect fit…again he knew me. "Now…" he said with savage satisfaction in his face, fitting his body to mine. "Now, I'm going to make love to you."

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><p><strong>Would love to know what you thought?<strong>

**Hope you are having a wonderful holiday season, no matter which holiday(s) you celebrate!**


	83. Coupons

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.

Here is the first part of the Christmas outtake for Bella and Edward. I'll be posting in sections as I get them betaed, leading up to Christmas! Hope you are having a great week, and my thoughts and prayers go out to all involved in the school shooting and to Cara for the loss of her sweet little one.

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

Being a man, a man in love, was more difficult than I'd ever imagined. If you listened to most, it was supposed to be so easy. You win the woman, or at least a chance with her, and when you say "I Love You" and steal the first kiss-or for Bella and I the first one after years of being apart-It was supposed to result in smooth sailing. "HEA" as my daughter loved to tease, pronouncing each letter separately and succinctly with great "kissy" faces and rolling of eyes. Not to mention the fact that everyone assumed that after the first time we made love-or for Bella and I the first time after I'd turned into a monster-our life would be all harps and angels and hearts.

I wished life was the "HEA," but it wasn't. It was our version; I would give the romantics that, because I'd never been happier or more fulfilled. But damn…I was attempting to make it as close to the HEA as I could for Bella, Carlie, Tony, and Nia. I was still trying to rectify the many mistakes I'd made. Bella had forgiven me too easily, and I was well aware of it. And even though she refused to focus on past sins, my private acknowledgement of them upped the game for me…the need to make at least the things I could perfect. Because I was far from being a perfect man. I snorted to think how far from that I really was…but if my wife liked to live in the delusion sometimes, then I was willing to bolster it a little. A man needed help from wherever he could get it.

But this attempt…it was more difficult, because it was doubly special. It was Christmas Eve and my first wedding anniversary. I didn't have the snow to work with, and I'd absolutely despised that the first wedding anniversary traditions were either for paper or a clock, but it was what it was. My first thought had been how difficult it would be to do anything romantic with it, but I'd refused to concede defeat. Finally, I'd come up with some ideas, and in desperation, I'd run with them. At least I had the ability to splurge on the Christmas presents, indulging in my whim to spend a large amount of money on Bella.

We'd had dinner with the Blacks, and Carlie had determined to stay with them on the reservation for the evening, muttering that she didn't want to be around our home for the "shenanigans" she expected would occur. Shenanigans, indeed.

Luckily, I'd been able to bribe Susan, the babysitter we used, to come with us. She was amazing; a college student needing money, she hadn't been able to go home for her own celebration. So instead, she was currently entrenched in the apartment I'd had added over the garage, and would take care of the babies while I wooed their mother. In exchange, in addition to the hefty sum I was giving her, the floor under the tree downstairs was laden with a ton of gifts just for her, compliments of my wife's and sister's excellent taste. A good babysitter was hard to come by, I was learning, and whatever I had to do to make sure that no one stole her from us I would do. Bella had already established Susan a suite of rooms at the house in Seattle, so that she could entice her over during the week for "writing" breaks. The babies were only five months old, and she was encouraging me to go back to work…but I hadn't as of yet, too intent on enjoying my dream come true. But Bella's writing breaks were often ours.

And although Bella could have used a pump and let Susan feed Tony and Nia, it just wasn't her style to do that for an entire night. Still colicky, they were doing smaller feedings and more often. I worried about it wearing Bella out, but she glowed when she nursed them…and I was thoroughly entranced watching it. Hence my "gift" at 10 for the normal feeding. But that was hours away….

Grinning, I lit the last candle and took a look around the room. We were going to start out in my old bedroom before moving to ours. It was symbolic…

Knowing I'd done the best I could, and that it was too late to change anything, I took a deep breath and went to collect my wife.

Not wanting our guest to be forced to brave the elements, I'd had the contractor fashion a stairway that led into the house from the garage apartment. Going down the stairs and through the living room, all I had to do was climb a shorter flight of stairs in the "mud room" to get to where Bella had been making sure that Susan and the babies were settled, "while I did my work."

After my short knock, I heard Susan call out for me to enter, and Bella turned to smile at me when I came through the door into the large living room. We'd designed the area for family to come visit, so it was open and airy. Tony and Nia lay on their stomachs in the middle of a quilt just before the couch; Tony was trying desperately to use Nia's fist as a teething toy. My first thought was that he should be grateful she wasn't returning the favor. She had a tooth; he didn't.

Unable to help myself, I chuckled and went over to sit down with them on the floor…picking Nia up first to nuzzle before giving Tony the same attention. Their chubby arms moved erratically as if they were attempting to grab me, or at least I wanted to believe that, but there was no mistake the drooling grins were for me. While Bella reminded Susan to call if she needed anything and that we'd come to get them for feeding, I fell in love a little more with the two precious beings I held. Unfortunately, Tony was going to be a spitting image of me. I just hoped that he didn't give me half of the heartaches I'd given my parents, but my dad was hoping so. He was already filling my head with enough horror stories to terrorize me. Nia, thank God, had Bella's brown, warm eyes. That Carlie and Tony had mine were enough. I cherished the fact that if Nia had to have my hair, at least she had one of the most beautiful things from her mother.

"Edward, do you plan to stay here and let me go sleep?" Bella teased a few minutes later.

I looked up to catch both her and Susan watching me with humor. I'd gotten lost in investigating the sweet skin and fat folds at their necks. Cracking a grin at Bella's amused look, I gently worked Nia's fingers out of my hair and turned them both over onto their stomachs. With a quick tickle to their backs and a glance at my watch, I rose, taking Bella's hand in the process.

"No way am I going to let you take a nap without me," I said, smirking at her. Then turning to Susan, I went to say, "Don't…"

"I KNOW!" she interrupted, shooing us out of the room. "If I need anything, call. I can handle this, you know," she laughed, promptly closing the door in our faces.

Bella laughed at her abrupt dismissal, pulling my hand to get us moving.

~SOMP~

"Okay, so close your eyes," I told her as soon as we reached the top of the stairs.

"Are you serious?" she laughed, reaching over to goose me in my ribs.

"As a heart attack," I joked, and she growled at my humor. Bella was particularly sensitive about my heart. My cardiologist had informed me that he felt as if he'd been through the Spanish Inquisition before she was done with her questions at my last checkup. "Bella, love, close your eyes," I finally begged.

"Fine," she mock growled, but I saw the small smile on her face. She wasn't wearing her glasses, trying out contacts again for short periods of time.

When she closed her eyes, I took the opportunity to lean over and kiss her eyelids gently, just because I could. Then reaching back, I opened the door and led her into the middle of the room. "Okay, you can open them now," I told her.

What she saw when she did was a hundred paper snowflakes hanging from the ceiling around the room by fishing line, candles flickering from various locations across the room, and twinkle lights…to provide the ambiance. Over the past months, I'd at least bought a futon bed for the room. This night it was laid out, instead of being used as a sofa, and in the middle of the thick bedding were the gifts I'd gotten. She turned to glare at me seeing several wrapped packages.

"It is a paper anniversary…we agreed!" she grumbled, then grinned at my expression. "What am I going to do with you?" she asked, and I was certain my eyes darkened at the thoughts that ran through my mind. I was a man. She snorted seeing my reaction. "If you're lucky," she teased, and I immediately hoped my luck _was_ good.

Taking her phone from her hand and putting it on the table beside the door, I let her walk around, looking at my handiwork. She'd reached up to about ten of the snowflakes before she turned to me. "Not one of them is alike, are they?"

"No," I admitted. Alice, Rose, and I had cut every one differently. "Just like snow. Unique and distinct…" I moved back to her, pulling her up to kiss her lips "…just like you." We were both breathing hard by the time we broke apart.

I could see she was going to argue with me about my gifts, so I set the stage up front. "Bella, sit down and let me do this…and enjoy. Other than a couple of reams of paper and time, I didn't spend money on anything except two of our anniversary gifts." She didn't need to know right now how much money I'd spent on those two…I'd deal with that later.

I led her to the bed, where she scooted to the center of the covers and sat cross legged. I couldn't help but grin at how adorable she looked. She'd taken to wearing button down tops at home, for quicker access for nursing, and had complained to Alice that she wanted something sexier for this evening. The result had been a fitted cashmere cardigan, in dark blue of course. With the fullness of her breasts, the fit, and the color against her skin, I knew that Alice had specifically chosen it to kill me. I could barely keep my hands off her in the first place. She had some type of fitted leggings on underneath, and all I could think about was stripping them off of her…with my teeth.

Placing my gift to the side, she finally settled against the pillows, patting the ones beside her in invitation. When I sat back, she fitted herself to me, snuggling under my arm.

"Ah…much better," she murmured softly before turning to smile up at me. Then reaching over to take the controller for the Bose system out of my hand, she turned on the music I'd prepared. As the instrumental filled the space around us, she breathed deeply. "Listen, Edward…it's so quiet," she giggled out.

I hugged her a little tighter, enjoying the peacefulness. It was nice to have just a few moments. But time was what I'd built the night around, so reaching over to the side table I picked up the antique clock I'd brought from our house. Propping it up against the largest present, I reached over to grab the first one I had to give her.

"Okay, before you even hand me that first gift, explain the clock," Bella laughed out.

"I have a gift for you on each hour," I admitted. "But since I got distracted with the babies, we're running behind." I shrugged when she turned to grin at me; I wasn't too upset that I'd taken a few minutes to play with them. It was already seven forty-five, so I placed my first present in her lap.

Picking up the rectangular package, she teased me for a moment by looking at it carefully to find the tape.

"Open the thing, Bella," I growled, knowing she was mean enough to make me suffer through it. She laughed at my reaction, taking pity on me and tearing into it.

She started laughing when she saw the handmade scrapbook. It was sheets of typing paper that I'd hole punched on the end and tied between two thicker cardboard covers with a bright green ribbon. The first page contained caricatures of her and me with bright red hearts floating around it. I was no artist, and that fact was definitely apparent in the present she held in her hands.

"What is this?" she said, turning to the first page. "This coupon is good for a backrub?" she choked out, laughing at the picture I'd drawn. The coupon was to the right side of the picture, for easy tearing. I wanted her to keep the atrocities…otherwise known as my drawings.

"It was supposed to be a back…I promise," I admitted.

She went so far at teasing me that she turned it to the left and then the right, before turning her head to look at it inquisitively. Squinting one eye, she pondered it for a moment. "Okay, I see it now," she said of the pale blob on the page…a set of hands over it.

I goosed her side for making fun of me. Snorting, she turned to the next page. It was a coupon for a foot rub. Waggling her eyebrows at me, she said sincerely, "I'm liking this book more and more."

Turning the page again, she found the next one. In it, I'd attempted to produce a harried looking man with two red headed children cradled to his chest. It looked like a large blob with two smaller blobs. The blobs all had reddish looking straw sticking out of their heads. I felt her body start to shake with her laughter. "One girls' night out a week." Around the perimeter of the picture, I'd drawn fifty two squares, one for each week. She shook her head at me. "Why do I need this?" she asked. "You encourage me to go out all the time anyway."

"Yes, but this way, you'll feel the need to actually do it. I know you…the fact it is sitting there means you'll really utilize them."

She continued thumbing through my paper gift finding more backrubs, footrubs, handrubs, kisses, outings, and various other things I could do for her. The book was juvenile and funny…exactly something I would've done for her as a teenager…and a perfect way to start the night. Bella continued to laugh at my art work, grinning at my versions of us throughout the pieces of paper I'd put together. She did gasp, though, when she got to the last page.

It was a masterpiece.

I'd gotten Alice to paint a portrait of the family for Christmas, which Bella would unwrap in the morning, but she'd recreated a smaller colored pencil version of it for my book. I had a frame downstairs for this one as well…so that we could leave it here on our bedside table.

"Edward…" Her gasp was one of astonishment, and I saw tears come to her eyes.

"I refined my skills a little before I did the last page," I announced with a good amount of false pride, stretching my fingers out as if I'd worked them to the bone creating the portrait.

Bella laughed, the tears still shining clearly. "Right…" she announced rolling her eyes adorably. "But I do like what your fingers can do…"

Her statement rendered me mute, my mouth running dry at her innuendo. Then, I saw the deviltry in her eyes just before she announced, "You're getting better at building things…and I do so love watching you play piano."

I stuck my tongue out at her like a child, and it made her laugh, which was what it was all about. I'd missed just being able to act goofy with her over the years…one of the many things I'd lost.

"You were supposed to choose a couple of those coupons for me to honor during our first hour here…and then more throughout the night, but since I was distracted so easily, you need to choose one for me to do while you open your next gift." The clock struck eight almost immediately after I told her what was required.

Reaching across the bedspread toward her next gift, I waited for her to contemplate. "Anything you want, Bella. The next gift is one you'll enjoy no matter which task you assign your lowly slave."

"The one I want isn't here," she said in a sultry voice.

My hand froze on the handle of the bag I was reaching for at her implication.. "You can have that anytime you desire, my love," I murmured lowly…the lust making my voice hoarse. Just say the word; I suddenly wanted to beg, throwing all my plans to the wind.

She ran her hand up my back, making my skin tingle at the caress. "Good…"

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><p>Would love to know your reactions!<p> 


	84. Serenade

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**Here is the second part of the Christmas outtake for Bella and Edward. I'll be posting in sections as I get them betaed, leading up to Christmas! Hope you are having a great week, and my thoughts and prayers go out to all involved in the school shooting and to Cara for the loss of her sweet little one.**

**I feel horrible for not mentioning this in the past chapter, but I was contacted by Rob's Attack. Sins was nominated for the best of the fan fic Fridays for 2012. I think voting is only open for a few more days. There are a ton of great stories up for selection.  
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**Please visit the http site at robattack**

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><p><strong>Edward POV (continued…)<strong>

Reaching across the bedspread toward her next gift, I waited for her to contemplate. "Anything you want, Bella. The next gift is one you'll enjoy no matter which task you assign your lowly slave."

"The one I want isn't here," she said in a sultry voice.

My hand froze on the handle of the bag I was reaching for at her implication. "You can have that anytime you desire, my love," I murmured lowly…the lust making my voice hoarse. Just say the word; I suddenly wanted to beg, throwing all my plans to the wind.

She ran her hand up my back, making my skin tingle at the caress. "Good…"

I wanted to laugh, but groaned instead. She was such a tease. "Footrub," she announced as I leaned back with package in hand. If it couldn't be what I was imagining, it was an excellent choice, and I told her so. Dropping the bag in her lap, I leaned over to the sofa table and pulled the basket of lotions out from underneath it.

"Are you serious?" she choked out…seeing that I was offering up the choices of lotion to her.

"Of course. I came prepared." Shrugging at her confounded look, I nodded to the basket indicating for her to take her pick. She didn't even look, reaching down to select a bottle while her eyes watched me carefully. I took it and snagged the remote for the sound system at the same time, scooting down the bedspread to where her feet lay.

"Open!" I nodded at the present and then grinned at her, taking her right foot into my lap. I wanted to moan when I peeled the silly, fuzzy socks she was wearing away to see that she'd had her toes painted bright red. I should have known I was in trouble when Alice had taken her for a pedicure before we left.

She grinned in pleasure knowing what seeing red on her toes did for me…it was a fetish. She wiggled them at me, the effect like that of waving a red cape in front of a raging bull. Heat washed over me, and I had to take several deep breaths to gain control. "Minx…" I uttered.

"Yup." It was her only response other than a sigh as I warmed the lotion between my hands and then ran my thumb across the arch of her foot.

"Present," I had to remind her as she'd laid her head back against the headboard and closed her eyes.

That my voice was still hoarse seemed to please her because she grinned devilishly before retorting. "I'm relaxing."

"The present will help, I promise."

She arched an eyebrow at me, but then complied, pulling the tissue paper out. Reaching in, she brought out the first Origami Swan. Her eyes widened at the intricacy. "Did you do this?" she asked in a stunned whisper.

"I did." I grinned as she looked at it closely. It wasn't perfectly white…with patches of black showing.

"Are those notes?" she asked incredulously, looking at it closely and pointing to one of the dark spots.

"Yes…I made them out of sheet music. That one…" I nodded indicating the piece she held "…is my new song to you, Bella." I reached down to hit the remote, changing the music to the prerecorded playlist I'd set up. I was more nervous about this than any of the presents. I watched her facial expressions as the music I'd recorded for her filled the room, then turned to focus on her foot after seeing her pleasure.

"Edward…" I glanced up to see nothing but love for me on her face. "Thank you."

I grinned and nodded, accepting her appreciation. "Each one is a song to you, Carlie, or the twins," I told her as she pulled several more elaborately fashioned swans out of the bag.

"Too much…" she muttered, and I chuckled.

"I only spent the cost of the paper, the time to write and produce the songs, and the electricity to download the recordings, so stop sputtering and enjoy my masterpieces," I scolded her. The next present would most likely give her a heart attack, but I refused to think about it right now, simply enjoying the music and the pleasure of rubbing her foot.

As she admired my creations, I focused on her skin and the siren colored toenails. Using my thumbs, I worked on the heels of her feet, enjoying the sounds that filled the air as I smoothed out the tension.

"God, that feels amazing," she admitted, earning a grunt from me.

I focused on her instep next, using the strength of my hands to release the kinks in the muscles there. Bending my fingers, I moved them in a circular motion across her skin. I'd learned it from her…when she'd given me the same relief. The scar on the bottom of my foot, and the muscles that had been damaged there from when I cut it attempting to get her to the hospital still itched and ached like crazy at times. I'd about come unglued the day she treated me to a foot rub and hit the spot.

Another song started and she wiggled her toes at me in question. "It's Tony's," I admitted and she chuckled when she heard the mischievous tone to the music. I glanced to her and admitted, "He already has that gleam in his eye."

"Edward, he's five months old!"

And he obviously already had his mother snowed. "Still…I see it."

The wiggling toes distracted me again, and I cupped her heel, bringing her foot up so that I could nip at the pad of her toes with my teeth. Bella squealed at the sting, pushing at my chest with her other foot as I kissed the skin I'd bitten. Getting more lotion, I massage each of her toes individually as the notes entertained her. "Carlie," I informed Bella at the sound of our daughter joining me on piano. When she'd heard me composing, she hadn't been able to stay away. Carlie was in love with Tony and Nia…to the point of obsession. Our duet was bouncy and uncomplicated, but perfect for Bella and my son.

Next came Nia's rhapsody. So as I took each of Bella's toes between my fingers, working them and pulling slightly before moving to grasp her ankle and pull my hands tightly down her foot to stretch the muscles there, the ethereal music floated around us.

"I want to reemphasize what I said about your fingers earlier…they _are _magic," she groaned. She'd leaned her head back against the pillows and had closed her eyes, resting peacefully.

"You say that to me a lot."

She grinned at my innuendo, but I saw her shift slightly. I found pleasure in the fact that my words caused her to heat up a little. Focusing back on her, I cupped the pad of her foot and flexed it back and forth before rotating, gently stretching the muscles in her lower leg at the same time. That I was also distracted by the display of her slender legs in the leggings she was wearing proved I was a man. I could distinctly create in my mind the feel of them wrapped around my waist.

Almost snarling at the images and lurid thoughts my memories brought forth, I shook my head and put her foot in my lap to start with the other. She wiggled her toes, brushing at my jeans and the hardness straining against them. I wanted to shout, whether in joy or frustration I didn't know, when she continued to use her big toe to trace me.

"Bella!" I warned.

"What?" she responded innocently.

"If you want my 'magic' fingers on your other foot, stop!"

One last brush…just to torture me…and then she did as directed. I was a man, but she was a woman and getting a good foot rub seemed more important at this time. She knew she could always have me at a moment's notice for sex; I was just wired that way.

Just to torture her, I nibbled at the arch of her foot before kissing down across the small bones of her foot to her big toe. She gasped as I nipped the end before swirling my tongue across the area I'd bitten.

"Edward!" she moaned. Bella's feet were extremely sensitive, and I knew it. She'd tortured me with that big toe, so it was only right that I repay the favor.

The song I'd composed for our wedding began playing softly, and I marveled at my bride. "Happy Anniversary, Bella," I murmured, seeing her open her eyes partially to watch me.

"One year…" she murmured with great awe. "Best six months of my life." Those words were definitely said with something other than reverence.

"HEY!" I grumped, causing her to laugh at her own teasing and my reaction. Everyday had seemed a miracle to me, and I knew she felt the same. We'd traveled through hell to get to our heaven, so I wasn't going to be ashamed to own it.

A low groan came from her, and I felt the tension in her foot. "What happened here?" I inquired of the spot I'd obviously stumbled upon.

"I stepped on one of Alistair's Legos when I was at Ali's. She told me that Jasper swears they are the devil's own way to torture parents."

Chuckling at the description, I could relate. I'd stepped on quite a few myself between Alistair and Ross. But truthfully Emmie was the real architect. The things she could do with Legos were amazing. I was foreseeing an Esme Junior in the years to come.

"Even worse are matchbox cars. Ask Dad about his love of them." Shaking my head at remembering my dad's quick movements to keep from busting his ass when he'd stepped on some, I couldn't help but smirk.

"Share!" Bella was fully focused on me now, so as I reached for more lotion and warmed it between my hands, I thought of how to begin. I could see that she was curious about the story and realized that there was so much still for us to catch up on. Her thirst for knowledge about us and our lives during the time she'd been gone was no stronger than mine for details on her life. I gave attention to the sore spot on her instep before pushing the legging up on her leg slightly to focus on the tight muscles there.

"Well, mom and dad had kept the boys for Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett to go out on a date night."

"You didn't go with them?" she interrupted.

I hesitated, but then answered. "No. Alice didn't approve of the woman I was seeing at the time." Shaking my head at the memories as if to dispel them, I looked up to catch her watching me neutrally. "Anyhow, Dad had gotten on the floor with the kids and me to play cars. But when he went to get snacks, he wasn't watching where he was going. You ever see one of those cartoons where the character's arms and legs spin all out of control as they try to find traction?" A large smile cracked her face, and I could tell she was attempting not to laugh. "Yeah…well…imagine my normally unflappable dad doing a great impression of one of them. Even mom lost it."

"I've fallen more times than I can count," she said with humor, but her admission didn't entertain me. Then she saw my reaction to her statement. "Stop! Don't even go there Edward."

She ran her big toe up my ribs attempting to rid me of my sour expression. Bella was far from helpless. She'd been far from helpless when she'd been blind…but the caveman in me wanted to take care of her, and knowing how hard she'd struggled still drove me insane at times. Even though I tried, I couldn't help but tear my eyes from hers in shame. I heard the tearing of paper just a moment before she slapped something down beside me.

"I'm cashing in another coupon." She'd leaned up her knees, her face but inches from mine when I finally found the strength to face her.

"Which one?" I was too infatuated with her to bother looking down.

"A kiss." She found this humorous, if the light in her eyes was any indication.

A kiss was a simple enough request.

"But not just any kiss, Edward. I want one that causes my toes to curl up. One that renders me breathless and makes my skin tingle." She raised her eyebrow at me as if in challenge.

Really? "Hmm…I might be able to manage that." My tone was just a tad mischievous.

Reaching to smooth the swans out of the way, I pushed to my knees and then began to prowl forward – running the tip of my nose up her leg, across her belly, and then breasts as I moved forward like a wild animal.

Grinning the entire time, Bella lowered to the bed, allowing me to cage her. "Well, hello handsome," she said softly, wiggling enticingly below me when I finally crouched over her.

Two could play at that game. "Beautiful…" I growled, letting the vibrations of my chest rumble against her.

Then, following the line of her blue cardigan, I kissed down to where her heart galloped. The feel of her blood thrumming through her tingled my lips, bringing a hum of pleasure from within me. She gasped as electricity raced between us and pushed her breasts up against me in reaction. Although I wanted to take her into my mouth, that was for later. For now, I had a kiss to complete. Skimming across her soft skin, I kissed her cleavage before moving up the other side of the sweater to lick her collarbone.

"I love your kisses," she murmured, twisting softly as I worried her skin.

Raking my teeth up the curve of her neck, I leaned up to admire the angel below me. Her lips were slightly parted as if she was having to pull in breaths of air, and I groaned when her tongue came out to wet them. Leaning on one elbow and bringing our hips flush to one another, I used my thumb to trace the rosy plumpness. She did gasp then, pulling in great draws of breath over my skin.

"You are the most beautiful woman in this world to me."

When she moved to worry the bottom one with her teeth, I applied pressure, pulling it free.

"Un uh… Allow me," I purred, leaning over to grab her bottom lip between my teeth, pulling the fullness into my mouth and sucking.

She still tasted of the hot chocolate she'd fixed us earlier…and I pushed down on her, fitting my cock to her heat. Passion, I thought also – she was ripe with it. Running my tongue of the soft flesh I held captive between my teeth, I rocked against her gently. Fire ran down my spine, clawing at me to let go. Finally releasing her, I used the opportunity to nibble the soft skin I'd tortured slightly.

"So perfect," I whispered against her mouth, feathering our lips together time and time again, but never forcing it further, only enjoying the most innocent of caresses.

"Edward…" she purred, pushing her fingers through my hair and pulling slightly.

"Love…" I moved across her face, following the line of her delicate cheekbone. Feeling her smile, I knew she was enjoying this game of cat and mouse. It would've been too simple, too immediately satisfying, to just follow our first caress with a "toe curling" kiss.

Using the tip of my tongue, I traced the curve of her ear, enjoying the way the contact made her shudder against me. Blowing warm air across her skin, I was rewarded as she tugged just slightly harder at my hair. Since I wasn't working at the hospital, I'd let it grow longer at her request. I didn't get it…I looked like I had a haystack growing out of my head, but that she could fist her fingers even harder into the longer lengths was definitely my reward for the unruly look.

"Kiss me!" she finally demanded, pulling me away from her ear and guiding me back to her lips.

I chuckled harshly. This was an ongoing argument of ours. I was kissing her…just my version of it.

Her lips, when I pressed mine to them, were swollen in passion. And when our tongues brushed together, the fire consumed us both, burning away any semblance of reason and control. Pressing her into the softness of the bed below us, I pushed my fingers through her hair to cup her head and let my desire pour into her. Her taste was intoxicating and the tangle of our tongues grew frantic as the need to possess each other blazed. I felt the twin points of her nipples against my chest and then growled when she wrapped her legs around my waist, grinding her heat against me. Moving one of my hands to grasp her leg, I hitched it higher, wanting to rip the offending material of her leggings out of the way. The magic exploded, and for many minutes nothing existed but the pleasure I derived from brushing our lips together, mating with her tongue, and rocking into the heat that promised nirvana. Spiraling out of control, we were at the whims of the desire clawing at us.

Ding…ding…ding…

The noise irritated me…invading in on the lust induced bubble created by the twinkle lights, candles, music, and the luscious woman below me.

Ding…ding…ding…

It continued, quickly dispelling the moment. I wanted to shout in fury at the interruption. Bella moved against me, attempting to entice me into sin.

Ding…ding…ding…

9 o'clock.

9 o'clock!

Tearing my lips from her, I was barely able to remain poised above her I was shaking so hard. Panting, I was at least pleased to note that she was doing the same.

"Toes curled?" I was fairly certain mine were singed.

"Oh God, yes…" she murmured, passion filled eyes opened to take me in. "Another one," she begged.

Tempting…so very tempting, but if I didn't move away from her, all my good plans would be for naught.

"Minx…the coupon was only good for one kiss."

She laughed at my comeback. I wouldn't survive another kiss. So finding the strength to peel myself away from her, I collapsed face first onto the bed to give myself a chance to calm down away from her charms. While I willed my body under control, I blindly reached down and found the envelope I needed.

"Your next present, Bella." She took pity on me and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear before taking the paperwork from me. It was probably a very good thing that I was laying on stomach. At least she would have a hard time castrating me.

I counted the moments while I heard the crinkle of the paper. Then there came the gasp of breath.

"The Emmett Cullen foundation for the visually impaired?!"

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Next one up in a couple of days.<strong>


	85. Bubba

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**Here is the third part of the Christmas outtake for Bella and Edward. I'll be posting in sections, leading up to Christmas! Hope you are having a great week, and my thoughts and prayers go out to all involved in the school shooting and to Cara for the loss of her sweet little one. Further prayers up for my friend Sue who is going through a lot right now. She is an amazing woman and needs lots of prayer.**

**This is totally unbetaed, so any mistakes are mine!**

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><p><strong>Edward POV (continued)<strong>

"_Minx…the coupon was only good for one kiss."_

_She laughed at my comeback. I wouldn't survive another kiss. So finding the strength to peel myself away from her, I collapsed face first onto the bed to give myself a chance to calm down away from her charms. While I willed my body under control, I blindly reached down and found the envelope I needed._

"_Your next present, Bella." She took pity on me and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear before taking the paperwork from me. It was probably a very good thing that I was laying on stomach. At least she would have a hard time castrating me._

_I counted the moments while I heard the crinkle of the paper. Then there came the gasp of breath._

"_The Emmett Cullen foundation for the visually impaired?!"_

Her tone was just below a screech, and I could only surmise that it was because the paperwork clearly indicated just how much that foundation currently had in escrow.

"EDWARD!"

_I wasn't about to move from my prone position, because the best she could do from here was chew my ass_, I thought subversively.

To her, I was a little more reverent. "I spoke with our accountant. One million dollars, invested in even a low risk account…giving the ups and downs of the economy of the past few years…yeah…he said easily could've yielded five million. On the other side of the pendulum, if it had been managed aggressively would've gone much, much higher."

"Ten million dollars!" she shrieked again and then finally decided to assault me.

"OW!" I yelped, finally turning over as a result of the sting across my ass. Bella had a wicked right arm.

"Sit up and face me, coward," she threw out the gauntlet. She was glorious in her fury, the flush of anger bright across her cheeks. "We agreed!" She was visibly shaking. "You swore you weren't going to spend a bunch of money on me!" She rattled the paper at me, then growled loudly.

I was a dead man either way, so I jumped right in. "Um…love…I didn't spend money on you. I gave you a piece of _paper_ indicating that I started a foundation in Emmett's name. He's the CEO, and you're his second in charge…to make decisions based upon the requests you receive. There are several support positions funded through the 501(c)(3), and they should be the ones handling the day to day operations, so, the two of you can just have the fun of evaluating the applications and choosing who receives funding."

Her mouth opened and closed, as if she was having trouble getting any sound out. It seemed as good a time as any to go ahead and put it all out there.

"I know you've done some things in the past regarding providing books and other needs for kids you've met, but now you've got the ability to expand it - you and Em. Buy laptops for visually impaired kids wanting to go to college. iPads. Visual aids. Whatever you determine necessary because the need is there…I did the research."

The look this time was adorable, a mix between all out fury and happiness. There wasn't a lot of complaining she could do about a foundation to help kids, particularly for ones like she'd sponsored in the past.

"You think you are so smart," Bella finally managed to say.

Smart? I didn't know about that, but I was wise enough to know to keep my mouth shut.

She tapped the envelope against the palm of her hand as she contemplated what I'd done. Finally, she asked the question I'd expected. "Why?"

Thankfully, one of my more calming pieces started in the background, and I sent up heartfelt thanks for the timing. Sitting, even though the spot she'd smacked still burned, I moved closer to her and took her free hand in mine.

"Bella…Emmett has saved my life more times than I would like to admit. He worries about me incessantly." No that wasn't right – he'd been given a reprieve from the worry over the past year. I acknowledged that with my next words. "Well, maybe not so much now, but definitely before." I squeezed her hand softly. "I followed you to New York, Bella."

"Huh?" She was totally confused.

"When you went on your book tour and visited Demetri."

"Say what?" Her look was one of astonishment.

"I'd never told you. But I panicked thinking about you there with him, and I just had the overwhelming compulsion to see you, to make you talk to me so that I could beg for your forgiveness…"

"WAIT! Outside the hotel…right?" She interrupted, squeezing my hand hard and then pulling hers from mine and cupping my jaw. "You were there." Her voice trembled, and it was hard to listen to the sadness there. "I felt you, Edward, but I thought I was going crazy. Why didn't you speak to me?"

The answer was pretty obvious. Or at least I'd thought it had been then. Placing my hand on top of hers, I squeezed her fingers in affection before linking them and bringing them to my lap. While I feathered my thumb across her skin lightly, I admitted to my actions. "You got out of the car looking like a million dollars, and Demetri exited after you. I thought you were going upstairs…together."

Her lips twitched slightly. "We did, to a sick Marcus and separate beds. But what does this have to do with Emmett?"

"He had a sense of what I'd done and called me, directing me to get my ass on a plane home before I ruined it all with you. Of course, I was already headed in that direction, with a broken heart, I must say, but either way…he just knew, Bella. He knew I was in trouble, and he reached out to me. He met me at the house when I returned and basically allowed me to sulk for a few minutes before he chewed me out."

I shook my head at the memories.

"That is just one example of how amazing a man Emmett is, Bella. But more than that, and most importantly to me, he is the best of brothers. I owe him my life on so many levels; he helped you, even when he didn't even know how much you needed it." How could I explain my decision? "He is…just a very good person, and he deserves to be honored in this way. He'll make good of that money, Bella…with your help. It isn't just about paying him back. It's about acknowledging the gift that Emmett has, which is taking care of others."

"But you chose the focus because of me, so in part, this gift is as much mine as his," she argued, but without fire. I'd put her in an untenable situation…to argue against a gift that was for her, but would in the long run help so many others.

"Yes." I admitted to that part of my motive; there was no reason to hide it. "I can't tell you how much I despise that you didn't get to go to college. It made me think how many others who are blind or visually impaired also miss out on the experience because they can't afford the extra things they need to help level the playing field. But you'll know. And Emmett will take that money and turn it into a gold mine. He has the Midas touch, Bella."

"I want to smack you right now, Edward. Really, I do. You're playing dirty…" she grumped, but I saw the small quirk of her lips that told me the tide had turned my way.

I was further saved by my phone ringing. Picking it up, I saw the name on the caller ID and handed the phone to Bella, before hurriedly saying, "I'll be back in a minute, Bella. I'm going to get the snacks."

Like a chicken, I left her, as she sputtered, to talk to Emmett. I'd prearranged for Rose to give him my surprise gift on Christmas Eve and then begged her to put him in a very good mood before she did so. Much to my dismay, my verbose and no holds barred sister-in-law had gone into graphic detail of just how she would make sure he was in a good mood. As Rose had laughed at my reaction, she'd at least kissed my cheek. _"It is so nice to see you happy, Dard." _She knew I hated nicknames other than Em's "Bubba," so I'd just rolled my eyes at her.

So as I let my wife and brother most likely plot to torture me, I took a very long time to pick up the fruit and cheese tray, grabbing a bottle of white wine I'd chilled. I was determined to do this for them, and nothing they could do would dissuade me. They were both good souls, so I knew that once the excitement took hold, they wouldn't be able to resist. I rearranged the tray no less than three times, but having delayed as long as possible, I managed my way up the stairs and into the room.

"Yeah…the chicken just reappeared," Bella said softly, arching her eyebrow at me as I came through the door. She looked over the platter I held and then to the wine before saying, "He's bringing a peace offering to me, Em, so I may have to forgive him. What you do is up to you."

She snickered into the phone at whatever he said. I was betting I didn't want to know, but as Bella handed me the phone and at the same time took the platter away from me, I took a deep breath and held it to my ear.

"Em…"

I heard a low hiss before he growled out, "Bubba…" He knew how to mess with me. There it was…that one word that could evoke feelings of protection and connection, yet he was undeniably upset. "You and I had this conversation. I don't care how chivalrous you think you need to be about the money. I DID THAT FOR BB BECAUSE I WANTED TO!"

The last sentence was said just below a shouting level, but definitely with vigor.

"And I wanted to do this, Em. I'm not going to deny that it isn't in part for what you did, but it's more. Are you going to deny me an opportunity to step outside my comfort zone?" This was a low blow…seriously. It was what he'd asked me to do for so long, when I remained more or less dead without Bella.

He acknowledged my tactic with his next words. "That's low, Edward. Really low."

"Emmett, I love you." I heard him grumble the words back. He might be a big softie, but he was still a little overwhelmed and made at it all. I hurried to continue. "I helped develop our charitable programs because I just felt it was right. For years, I've given money out on Bella's birthday as a way to honor her. You've always supported and even encouraged me. What is different about this?"

"Because I think it is your way of making amends and paying me back."

"It is." He swore over my words, and I let him calm down before I started talking again. "But it is so much more than that. Em…it makes financial sense, if you want me to be pragmatic about it. I don't mind paying the taxes we have to, but to be able to direct some of the money into areas I think are worthy is so much better. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do with the savings accounts and portfolio I have. Sure, Carlie and Seth, then the twins…I'm in the process of setting up trust funds…" this caused Bella to gasp "…but I already have enough for all of them and more. Bella is independently wealthy, and in the event of my death, would be even more so. But seriously, enough is just enough."

Bella and I had talked about our finances when we married. We had a joint account for the household expenses and access to each other's main accounts, but other than knowing the information, there hadn't been many reasons to question the other's financial decisions. We were privileged in this and knew it. Which is why I'd done what I'd done.

"It is my way of giving back, Emmett. To you, to Bella, to the world she lived in while I was gone from her. It is important to me, and I can't imagine anyone better than you to make it happen."

He huffed out a short breath, knowing I had him. Emmett's legal mind combined with his head for numbers made him the perfect manager of the fund I'd started. It wouldn't be long before the seed money would be nothing but fond memories to a thriving non-profit. He'd make sure of it. I was truly intrigued to see where the company would be in five to ten years.

"Fine! We'll talk when you get home," he promised…or maybe I should say threatened. Then he ruined the whole image by saying, "Love you, Bubba. Kiss BB and my babies for me, but with your clean mouth before you get all funky. Because ew…"

He was such a dork. What grown man said, "Ew." Obviously a grown man with two young children and a wife he adored. "Later," he said as a way of goodbye before cutting the connection. I was guessing that he was already attacking Rosalie again. It would be par for the course. I was amazed that they'd stopped at two kids, because my brother was quite diligent in chasing his wife around.

Bella caught my attention as soon as I hung up the phone. While she chewed delicately on a grape, she purposely looked down at the coupon book, paging through the sheets slowly. I couldn't help but swallow harshly at the anticipation she built with her silence and perusal. She was doing it intentionally to punish me for my actions, and I knew it. Sometimes the expectation made the reward so much sweeter, so I forced myself to just sit back and enjoy whatever ride she was going to take me on. Popping the cork on the wine, I handed her a small glass before pouring mine. The lightly sweet bouquet was a perfect complement to the cheese I snagged.

When I heard the coupon ripping I eagerly awaited to see what she'd chosen. So, when she slapped it onto the bed beside me I couldn't stifle the groan that tore from me.

Full body massage.

"I can't have that until after I feed the babies…" she was unnecessarily uncomfortable when she leaked, thinking it grossed me out "…but it better be a good one, Edward. And just to punish you…" yeah, there was confirmation of my suspicions "…I'm not going to allow you to have me afterward. If I'm calculating right, there will be at least an hour between the time you finish up and we hit Christmas day. So…" She raised her eyebrow at me in victory.

An hour to suffer what would most likely be unending, unbearable lust…

I moaned in equal parts defeat and anticipation. Bella was the master of building me to dizzying heights of passion and forcing me to stew in them before she granted me release. It was extremely erotic and reduced me to a babbling idiot. It was also incredibly tantalizing, and I grinned in anticipation. She chuckled at my reaction.

"Somehow, I'm getting the idea you aren't seeing that as punishment. I'll have to think on how to make it more meaningful." She looked over to the clock. "But for now, considering what little time we have left…I'll take this."

The next coupon was for a hand rub. She mischievously popped a piece of cheese her mouth. As she did so, the music tract changed to Christmas songs and an instrumental version of Greensleeves began playing in the background.

"Hey, I have a question?" she murmured as I drained my wine and then reached for the lotion, hesitantly scooting close to her. My caution stemmed from the fact that I wasn't so sure she was past the "smacking me" stage. "Do these coupons have contingencies or expiration dates?"

"No…" I answered hesitantly, trying to quickly assess what her devious mind was considering.

"Hmm…good." She smiled in glee, slipping a strawberry in my mouth and then flipping quickly through the book, tearing another coupon and putting it down on top of the hand rub one. "Sing to me while you pamper my hands."

It was like the Devil's own joke staring up at me. Carlie had forced me to put these particular coupons in the book. Even though I knew Bella enjoyed my voice, I still felt less than confident about my singing ability. _"Mom with think they're perfect!"_ Carlie had argued. I chewed the strawberry that had all but lodged in my throat and swallowed in trepidation.

"Edward?" Bella's questioning voice challenged me. "Is there a problem?" That she smirked told me that she knew exactly what she was doing.

Hm… Two could play the game. "None at all." I moved up the bed toward her and at her questioning glance, stated, "I don't want to cramp up your feet, since I took the time to get you relaxed, so I'm going to scoot behind you and have you lay back on my chest." Suddenly, she looked suspicious…and she should have been.

Tapping her back in indication for her to lean forward, I moved behind her, pulling her ass flush to me. She gasped at the feel of me against her. I'd been in a semi-aroused state from the moment we'd entered the room, but having the fullness of her pressed against me didn't help matters. I wanted to chuckle as my body reacted to her and hers betrayed her…but I feared for my safety too much to get cocky and say anything. Gathering her hair, I brushed it over her left shoulder, knowing that the place just behind her ear and below her hair line was my biggest advantage. Leaning against her, I put my cheek against her neck and reached for her right hand. Humming the B out in her name, I silently added a tick mark on my side of the scoreboard at her reaction.

She jumped a foot at the vibration and came down against me, rubbing me in all the right ways.

As innocently as I could manage, I hit the rewind button on the remote, before tapping some lotion into my hand and beginning to use my thumbs to rub the base of the thumb.

"Prrr…oblem?" I asked her, making sure that my lips were just at her ear as I purred the first letters.

"No…" she moaned.

Knowing I had her, I chose instead to sing the original verses of Greensleeves versus the ones historically used at Christmas. How poignant the lines seemed for our love story. That I did so against the sensitive skin of her neck, making sure to "accidentally" brush up against her here and there, was just my treat.

"_Alas, my love, you do me wrong. To case me off discourteously. For I have loved you well and long. Delighting in your company."_

"_Your vows you've broken, like my heart. Oh, why did you so enrapture me? Now I remain in a world apart, but my heart remains in captivity."_

"Edward…" she whispered, drawing my attention as I smoothed my hand over hers, cherishing the fragile bones that cradled our children and my heart. Her voice was troubled at my words.

"Shush…love…it's all in the past, but the song is from a man to his beloved." I soothed the muscles in her palm, enjoying the way her fingers curled toward me. Our words had been spoken over the chorus, so I began singing again…making sure that my breath washed over her ear. This might be a love song between us, but she'd started the war of seduction, so I would use this opportunity to engage in both.

"_I have been ready at your hand, to grant whatever you would crave. I have both wagered life and land; your love and good-will for to have."_

"_If you intend thus to disdain, it does the more enrapture me. And even so, I still remain a lover in captivity."_

I couldn't help a slight nibble to her neck as I switched to her other hand, having used the chorus between the lines to really pay attention to her fingers. She groaned slightly, and I claimed it as a further victory.

_My men were clothed all in green, and they did ever wait on thee. All this was gallant to be seen, and yet though wouldst not love me._

_Thou couldst desire no earthly thing, but still thou hadst it readily. They music still to play and sing; And yet though wouldst not love me._

Bella shivered against me, distracting me as I am certain my singing did her. My chest vibrated with emotion against her back, thinking how deep the hurt and despair had been when I didn't think I could win her love again. As my fingers moved to her delicate wrist, bringing her hand up so that I could place a kiss at where her pulse furiously beat, I whispered the last two versus and chorus against her skin.

_Well, I will pray to God on high, that though my constancy mayst see. And that yet once before I die, thou wilt vouchsafe to love me. _

_Greensleeves was all my joy_

_Greensleves was all my delight_

_Greensleves was my heart of gold,_

_And who but my lady greensleeves._

_Ah, Greensleeves, now farewell, adieu. To God I pray to prosper thee. For I am sill thy lover true, come once again and love me._

Bella turned to me, and I saw the tears that made her eyes luminous. Desire had brushed her cheeks pink and I saw that she'd worried her lips while I practiced my seduction. Seeing the want in her face, I waited for her to lean forward and kiss me.

It was worshipful and reverent, but I felt the moment it turned and pulled away. The clock was chiming; it was time to go get Tony and Nia. I moved quickly even as she tried to capture my hands. Hearing the growl of frustration just as I got to the door, I burst out in laughter as the pillow hit me in the back.

She called me several unsavory names as I ran, but I wasn't too guilt-ridden. I knew my payback was coming…

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><p><strong>Thoughts?<strong>

**I have yet to find a really good masculine version of Greensleeves. I really tried in order to have a playlist for this chapter, but failed miserably. If you know of one, send me the link or info, PLEASE! I do have on play a good female version – search out Loreena McKennitt. While I was writing this, I was listening to Jordi Savall's instrumental version, which is amazing!**

**Until next time. ;)**


	86. Swan Song

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**Here is the fourth part of the Christmas outtake for Bella and Edward. I'll be posting in sections, up to Christmas! Hope you are each having a wonderful Christmas Eve – or if you don't celebrate Christmas, time with family and friends!**

**This is totally unbetaed, so any mistakes (which I am sure there are many) are min**e!

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><p><strong>Edward POV (continued)<strong>

_Bella turned to me, and I saw the tears that made her eyes luminous. Desire had brushed her cheeks pink and I saw that she'd worried her lips while I practiced my seduction. Seeing the want in her face, I waited for her to lean forward and kiss me._

_It was worshipful and reverent, but I felt the moment it turned and pulled away. The clock was chiming; it was time to go get Tony and Nia. I moved quickly even as she tried to capture my hands. Hearing the growl of frustration just as I got to the door, I burst out in laughter as the pillow hit me in the back. _

_She called me several unsavory names as I ran, but I wasn't too guilt-ridden. I knew my payback was coming…_

I could hear them grumbling before I even knocked. Tony's disgruntled cries were louder than Nia's, but they were obviously both hungry.

"They just started fussing," Susan laughed, bouncing a drooling Nia on her hip as she opened the door.

"They're like clockwork," I admitted, grinning at the disgruntled Tony.

It almost appeared as if he was beating his tiny fist against the blanket in frustration. I could relate; I got cranky when I was away from Bella too long as well. Of course, his needs were more basic than mine. _But then again maybe not_, I thought as I considered how primal the drives for love and sex were.

Bending to pick my son up, he hiccupped before sobbing a little. "Little man…" I couldn't help but coo at him. When he was hungry…he was instantaneously so; there wasn't much that could dissuade him. "C'mon, your mom's waiting."

"Thank you," I told Susan as she placed Nia into the nook I formed with my other arm.

"Bring them back here after Bella feeds them. You still have the rest of your evening to enjoy."

"Ok." I still felt guilty about her having to watch over them while they slept, but she rolled her eyes at me, seeing my expression.

They were both fairly frantic by the time I walked through the door, and Bella shook her head at the ruckus they were making. She'd tried when they were little to feed them separately, but most of those attempts had ended in all but domestic dispute between them, hence her unique form of dual feeding. Holding Nia until she was able to arrange Tony, I couldn't help but laugh a little at how quickly his strangled cries stopped when she positioned him.

"Bella, the way he latches on, he is going to be a little monster when he gets a tooth."

She grimaced, holding her other arm out for Nia. "I know; I'm actually dreading it. At least our daughter has more manners."

Twins crossed against each other, reddish heads tucked into her elbows, Bella leaned back into the pillows, a sigh of relief on her face. "Wipe the smirk off your face, Cullen," she warned me.

I hadn't realized I was sporting a grin, but it didn't surprise me. Bella tended to get a little engorged right before feeding time for the kids, and it made for a great show for me, even if the benefits were all theirs. When I was really good, Bella _would_ let me play afterward. She'd thought she'd destroyed my dreams of grandeur by informing me she'd been this "well-endowed" with Carlie, but that she'd quickly returned to normal size after weaning her. When I'd just shrugged at it, Bella had shaken her head. _"You don't like them bigger?"_

I didn't care what size they were as long as they were hers, and I'd told her so. Didn't mean I didn't enjoy the show.

"Since you can't unwrap your next present, I'll do it for you. And by the way, when I take them back to Susan, it will be time to move to our room," I told her with a waggle of my eyebrows. A futon was okay for lazying around, but I wanted our big bed to engage in that massage and what I hoped would follow.

"Perv…" she accused, and I just shrugged my shoulders at her allegation.

After turning the music to a mellower playlist, I reached for the last package I'd brought to our little adventure in my old room. The two others were already strategically placed atop the covers of our king size bed. To torture her, I proceeded to peel the tape away slowly and meticulously, just like she did. When she kicked me slightly with her foot, we both began laughing softly. In size, it was the largest present I'd gotten her, and she watched me with interest from where she reclined.

"Before you fuss, I did pay to have this printed and bound, but I called Leslie to ask who would do it the cheapest, because I was still operating under your cheapskate dictates."

"Yeah…like you paid attention to that on the last gift," she muttered, causing Tony to grumble as well.

"Temper, temper, darling. You're causing our son to be distracted." She glared at my humor. "Again, and for the record, I gave you pieces of paper for your first, last, and next present." With flourish, I unveiled the leather bound journal. It was specially made and oversized…the reason for that she would find out in a few minutes. "By the way, Leslie thinks you are as ridiculous as I do."

"I'm sure she does. But she is a little distracted right now with life, and I'm sure she didn't put too much effort into your complaints," Bella retorted.

She was right. Leslie had finally met someone, someone Bella really, really liked, and the normally unflappable manager was in a mild "tizzy" as Bella described it. She'd given me the info I needed, but had quickly taken another call. I was guessing that her "man" was the person who'd taken precedence over her favorite client's husband.

"Nah…not much…but I'm pleased with the results of what she did help me with." Sliding the leather bound journal over, I positioned myself beside her, leaning back against more pillows, before pulling it into my lap. I helped her sit up just a little straighter so that she could see what I had.

She gasped upon seeing the title page. Dance of the Swans. Alice had created a picture of a lake with a mated pair of swans swimming peacefully through lily pads. Behind them, three ducklings paddled in circles, playing. The tranquil blue water swirled lazily around the family, creating an idyllic backdrop. Frogs dotted the lilies, peaking out mischievously from behind foliage, as a lazy trout swam in the water at the corner. It was breathtaking, and I had really struggled to accept the masterpiece from my sister. It just another example of why she should really have her art showcased, but I knew it might never occur. At least this piece would be loved…if Bella's expression was any indication.

"You accused me of violating our agreed upon rules because I gave Emmett a present, but this is really the way I cheated. Rose and Alice helped me with all this…" I waved not only to the book, but the snowflakes and now low burning candles. I did, however, go through my recollection of our bargaining, and you didn't say that we couldn't get others to help."

"No...I didn't," she conceded, then looked back to the title page of my journal. "Edward…it is almost too beautiful to keep in whatever you've done."

"I know, but she insisted." I took a deep breath and turned to the first page. "It's my Swan Song to you," I admitted, tracing my fingers down the page.

Leslie had worked with me to get permission to create a one of a kind compilation. Page for page, I'd had her masterpiece reprinted, with an equal amount of space to the side. In that blank area, I'd printed my meanderings over the years…the things buried deep in my heart that I'd poured out on the available space of my bedraggled copy of her book. In places, it was dark and morose; in others, I'd had some insight…if only I'd followed it. But what I'd added was my take on the book now, my thoughts of her character's journey and lessons learned. I'd created it over the past year, knowing that I'd wanted to give it to her on our first anniversary. It had been a journey of self-reflection, a work of love and devotion, and incredible honesty…even when such transparency still found me lacking. A baring of the soul, so to speak. My new therapist had helped me, and although he was no Elizabeth, Dan had been a surprise and a God-send.

Bella gasped seeing what I'd done.

"You re-read it all…rewrote what you'd put in your book?"

"Every page." I nodded, glancing over to find her focusing on me. "I didn't really expect us to read it now, but perhaps over the next months we can pick up where we left off?" We'd been reading her story together and discussing our reactions, but life, in the form of two precious babies and an extraordinary daughter had sometimes gotten in the way.

"But you've added to it," she murmured softly, shifting her arms a little. Realizing she might be getting tired, I pulled another pillow over and pushed it under her arms to help support the twins' weight. "Thank you!" she exclaimed, settling them a little better.

"Yes. My old thoughts are in black, but I put the newer ones in blue ink to help define them. Every time I read your book, Bella, I get something different out of it. But this is really about you seeing the old and new me."

"Read me the end," she said softly.

"The end?"

"Yes, the last section. I want to know what you said."

"I've already told you how I felt about Marla's journey…that when she sang, I believed, unlike most, that she hadn't died, but actually that it was her acknowledgement of the past and her goodbye to it."

"Right, I remember," she indicated, shifting the babies once more. "You said that you wanted to fly with her, to feel the freedom of slipping from this world into the next."

"Yes, exactly." She had such an amazing memory. "To me, it felt that Marla let go of all that had bound her then and learned to finally live."

"Read it to me…that spot."

"It's the end though…don't you want to know the journey first?"

"We'll get there, but for now, just the end, please."

I turned to the back page and glanced over to Bella's description of Marla's Swan Song. It was eloquent and moving. Of all the parts of her book, this one moved me the most. I'd sobbed the first time I'd read it, and the effect it had on me in subsequent writings had been just as emotionally laden. Bella's nudge at my shoulder told me that I'd become distracted.

"Sorry," I admitted with a grin before beginning to read.

_Marla is finally loose from all the chains that bound her. How I long to find the same freedom. Bella where are you? Have you found love and peace? My Love, I pray you have with every ounce of my dark soul_.

At her soft gasp, I explained. "That was my reaction the first time I read it. But I must admit, it didn't change much over the subsequent writings. The need to know was incessant, but I knew that if I let go of the control, even the slightest bit, I wouldn't be able to stop until I found you…and destroyed your life." At her growl, I added, "Or so I thought at the time."

"We can't go back, though. Just forward," she responded. "So tell me what you wrote this time, Edward."

Smirking at her, I didn't have to even look down at the words I'd written. I knew them by heart. "So soars my soul, past the chains that had bound me into the freedom of a future provided by my Swan. She is the light that pours her radiance over me, dispelling the darkness and illuminating a new path. My heart, my life…she is my whole…my love…that which she has provided is my everything."

Tears glistened in her eyes again, and I needed her to understand.

"Everything, Bella," I said nodding to the twins, meaning not only them, but Carlie as well.

"That was beautiful, Edward."

"Nah…just the truth, Bella. You, Carlie, and the twins…you're my everything. I love you more than words will ever be able to express…" she started to interrupt me and I finished for her "…and I finally accept that you feel the same about me."

She smiled gloriously at my revelation.

"And Bella, that is the finest gift you could and ever will give me."

Bella was good at employing the power of silence, and she chose to utilize that skill, allowing the peace to settle around us…only interrupted by the occasion sound coming from one of the twins. It was perfect. I didn't want to have a deep conversation this night; the gift was meant for the purpose of giving us something to discuss over the next weeks and months.

Tony and Nia were finally slowing down, their faces taking on that dreamy look. Bella and I called it the milk drunk, but I didn't know if anyone would find it funny other than us. I couldn't resist running my fingertip across Tony's bronze colored fluff. He startled a little at my touch, but didn't open his eyes.

"Nia's gone," Bella said softly. Our daughter was a very fast and efficient nurser. She was often finished, diaper changed, and in her crib sleeping before Tony finished.

"I've got her." Closing the leather cover, I set the book to the side and gently lifted her from Bella's arm, leaning down to kiss my wife's forehead before moving to the diaper bag I'd stashed in the corner. A quick change into a sleeper and a new diaper, and I got the joy of running my fingers up her back. Burping did little for her, but a good soft tickle up her spine was the remedy. I hadn't even made it a couple of steps before she belched inelegantly and resettled again me. Seeing that Bella was whispering to Tony, I stole to the windows overlooking the forest for a few moments.

"Your kingdom," I whispered to the baby in my arms as I surveyed the dark landscape outside.

I'd never expected to have the joy of holding my own child in my arms. I'd cuddled Alice's and Emmett's children, held them when they were ill, and babysat when my siblings wanted time away with their spouses. The feeling of their fingers fitting around mine always intrigued me…their trust amazing me…but even as much as I loved them and would have protected them with my life; there was something entirely different about holding my child in my arms. It was if a monster roused from within me, intent on annihilating anyone or anything that threatened them.

Nia wiggled aginst me, settling in for sleep. In was an instinctual thing for her, a trusting reaction that Tony also did. Carlie, even as a teenager, felt comfortable slipping her hand into mine, as if I'd always deserved it. I chose to take it as a sign that she too felt safe with me. This was my duty in life, to provide and protect. I'd failed the first time; to the best of my ability, I wouldn't again. Hearing Bella patting Tony on the back, I turned just as he burped loudly. It didn't take me long to put Nia belly-down on the bed and retrieve him.

"I can change him, Edward," Bella quickly argued, but I just grinned.

"Bella, I think you've done more than you duty. Allow me; it is the least I can do considering I don't have the equipment for what they needed the most." She laughed at my quip.

Within a minute, I had him cleaned and dressed and then put him on the bed beside his sister.

"I feel guilty sending them back to Susan," Bella said, repeating my previous feelings. "Yet, we don't get this opportunity often."

"Susan's already called me on it. I do believe she'll show up at our door if we don't comply with her directions."

My wife grinned at that, but I had to admit that I was distracted by the cleavage her gaping cardigan revealed. She snapped her fingers in front of her, refocusing me.

"Um... I'll take them back now." She snickered at my stumbling words. But not before Bella cuddled them a little, brushing her lips across each of their down covered heads, then finally handing them over.

"I'll take care of the candles and bringing the lotion." She grinned before I saw the mischievous look on her face. "I'll see you in our room, Edward." Such innocuous words, but the way she said them made the hair stand up on my arms. How did she infuse so much sexual heat into such simple things?

"Bring the clock…" I croaked out as I backed through the door.

"Ok," she smiled impishly, purposely bending over on the bed so that her shirt gaped more.

I moved quickly away, knowing how little my control was with her. "Your mom is going to kill me," I informed my sleeping babies, but then a wolfish grin stole over my face. "But, I'll go out a happy man."

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><p><strong>Happy Holidays!<strong>


	87. Merry Christmas

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play in.**

**Here is the final piece of the Christmas outtake between Bella and Edward. I hope you enjoy!**

**Merry Christmas to all (Happy Holidays to those of you that do not celebrate Christmas)! As I watched my six children tear into their packages this morning, literally rendering my living room into a war zone, I was reminded of just how blessed I am. I pray that each and every one of you will find health and happiness as we move into a new year, and I also hope that your Christmas Day was filled with as much laughter and love as mine was!**

**By the way, this is totally unbetaed...sorry for the chaos.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Edward POV<strong>

"_I'll take care of the candles and bringing the lotion." She grinned before I saw the mischievous look on her face. "I'll see you in our room, Edward." Such innocuous words, but the way she said them made the hair stand up on my arms. How did she infuse so much sexual heat into such simple things?_

"_Bring the clock…" I croaked out as I backed through the door._

"_Ok," she smiled impishly, purposely bending over on the bed so that her shirt gaped more._

_I moved quickly away, knowing how little my control was with her. "Your mom is going to kill me," I informed my sleeping babies, but then a wolfish grin stole over my face. "But, I'll go out a happy man."_

I heard the music as soon as I climbed the stairs; Ella Fitzgerald's sultry voice crooned about what she wanted for Christmas as I entered Bella's and my room. And what I wanted for Christmas stood by our bed in an outfit that took my breath away. Gone was the cardigan and tights, and in their place was a dark green silk camisole and boy short set. So tightly did my chest constrict at the vision before me, that I literally had to lean against the doorframe to keep from falling over.

"Bella…" I acknowledged her hoarsely, and she slowly turned from where she'd been lighting a candle beside our bed.

She grinned in a wicked manner and brought the match up to blow it out slowly. That her lips made a soft pucker and her tongue slipped out to wet them was most likely carefully calculated. But then again, she was a natural seductress, so maybe not.

"Do you want to change?" she asked, nodding toward the silk pajama pants she'd laid over the end of the bed.

Too tongue-tied to speak, I nodded softly and moved toward her, slowly unbuttoning the shirt I'd worn and shrugging it off before picking the pants up and making my way to the bathroom. I took the opportunity to brush my teeth, attempt to tame my hair, and throw the dirty clothes into the basket we used before moving back into our room. Bella had allowed herself only one small glass of wine because she was still nursing, but I saw that she'd refilled mine. I didn't need it; I was already drunk on her. She patted the cover of our bed, having already crawled to the middle of it.

"Trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me?" I teased, nodding to the wine as I joined her.

"Do I need to get you tipsy to do that?" she retorted.

"No, definitely not." My answer was quick and decisive. All she had to do was crook her finger at me and she could take advantage of me. She chuckled at how quick I'd responded.

"So…you have one more gift for me?" she asked in a neutral voice.

"Yes…" I reached for it and tore my eyes from her in the process.

Needing to gain perspective, it was imperative that I redirect my attention for a few moments or all would be lost. To say that I was overwhelmed by the sight of her luminous skin contrasting with the green silk was an understatement. But this gift was important, and I had to express it to her in some way. Turning the envelope over and over in my hands, I wondered what her reaction would be. She might think I'd been too interfering, but I knew how much what the envelope contained would mean to her.

"Okay…the way you're stalling makes me think that perhaps you are really going to be in trouble for this one. And the thought that you would be nervous, after all the other stuff you've pulled tonight, makes me extremely so." She smiled softly, as if she was encouraging me.

"No, it's not that; although, I will admit to you right now that I spent the most amount of money on you…" I emphasized the _you_, since I was going to go to the grave claiming that the foundation was Emmett's gift "…for this anniversary gift."

She took a deep breath, and it appeared that she was preparing for a fight. So to take the wind out of her sails, I quickly placed the envelope in her hands.

"Just open it, please." I waited anxiously for her to do so.

She slid her nail under the paper, flipping the envelope open. Then her fist flew to her mouth, as if she was attempting to keep the sobs from escaping. "Edward!" she cried out, her fingers pressing to her lips - both trembled. Her eyelashes fluttered quickly as she tried to keep the tears from flowing down her cheeks, but I had to admit that seeing her so visibly moved told me that I'd done the right thing.

"He's really going to be fine?" she whispered, asking about the test results I'd just handed her.

"It seems that way. I spoke with the specialist directly, and she informed me that the latest tests indicate that they've gotten it all, and that the cancer is in remission."

"We're going to see him?" she gurgled, the tears making her words hoarse.

I'd included the travel itinerary with the lab results Sulpicia had cleared for me to receive. She'd wanted a second opinion before getting optimistic and had hoped that my father and I would help. I wasn't an oncologist, but our hospital had a few good ones. And even though they didn't specialize in the type of cancer Aro had, they possessed enough knowledge to smile over the results. Carlisle and I had been able to give Sulpicia very good news…and I'd asked if I could pass them along to Bella.

"Yes. I made all the arrangements with Sulpicia. Aro doesn't know we're coming. We're going to be staying in Phoenix for two weeks; mom is coming with us to help with the babies."

"What?" she barely breathed out, still unable to comprehend what I was saying.

"Carlie, the babies, you, and I are going to Phoenix to be with Aro. Sulpicia wants you there when the doctor tells him the good news, Bella. Mom is coming with us to help out with the babies, so that you can be with Aro at the hospital. Carlie is going to fly back and stay with Jacob and Leah when school starts back. And if all goes as planned, they'll be releasing Aro to come home with us the next week, to be placed under care here. We're taking one of the planes to come and go."

"Edward! I can't…" She was struggling with the words. Crumpling the paper she held in her hands, she pressed her fists to her eyes.

"Love, don't cry. I was hoping this would make you happy." Panic swamped me. Perhaps withholding the information about Aro under the premise of giving the news as a gift hadn't been the best idea.

"I AM HAPPY!" she sobbed again, shaking her head from side to side.

Her crying slayed me, whether it was happy or sad tears, and I pulled her over into my lap, tucking her head beneath my chin and wrapping my arms around her. "Sh…Love. Sh…" I scooted us far enough over to grab some tissues from the bedside table. Dotting underneath her eyes, I tried to comfort her.

For a long time, she sobbed, but I knew we were past the crisis when I felt her hand slide across my ribs as if she was trying to comfort me. She leaned back away from me, and it was then that I saw the love shining through.

"You…" I remained quiet, waiting for her to form the words. "You, Edward Cullen, are too much, and I am the luckiest woman on earth."

She crashed her lips to mine, and somewhere in the distance I heard the papers and other presents fall to the floor. Thankfully, the bracelet I'd had fashioned for her for Christmas wasn't breakable; whether or not her present to me was damaged or not, she'd have to worry about. Because all I felt was her lips on mine and her hands skimming over my skin. It would seem that her intended punishment of making me suffer for an hour before I could "have her" was gone, and as I felt her teeth nibble down my neck, I groaned at the onslaught of desire.

I was perfectly comfortable with the change in plans. "Bella, love…"

"No…" she hissed "…no talking, just kissing and touching." She didn't finish her words either, turning me over onto my back so that she straddled me. "I love you," she murmured softly before leaning down to kiss me.

And kiss me she did. I was gasping for breath by the time she released me from her spell. When she moved against me, I rolled her over, thrilling in the feel of her under me.

"You're wrong you know…" I sighed "…it is you who is too much." Taking one of her hands, I raised her wrist to my mouth, covering the frantic beat of her pulse there with my lips. "From the first moment I saw you…my sin has been that I wanted you too much. I still do. You hold my salvation or destruction in the palm of your hand, Bella." I placed her hand in my hair, silently begging her to bury her fingers in it. She had no clue what it did to me to feel her fingers tugging at me, the lust and sense of her ownership over me it engendered. "So many others could've loved you, and it will forever haunt me that they may be so much better for you. But, I will tell you this; I will not do anything to make you regret giving me another chance, Bella. Tonight, I plan to worship every inch of your body, making sure that you carry the memory of my love in every pore."

I heard her sigh as I placed her other hand above my damaged heart and settled my lips against her throat. I felt the vibrations of her body against mine and incredibly felt myself grow harder and bigger.

"_I need to calm the fuck down," _I thought, borrowing Emmett's favorite statement to me. There would be time for the hard and fast stuff later. I wanted to make love to my wife on our anniversary. _MY WIFE!_ I lost a little control and snarled into her neck on instinct, reveling in the fact that the woman who was lying below me had chosen me.

"I love you," I murmured gruffly against her throat, letting every emotion and thought I felt infuse the words so that she could hear the depths of the feelings holding me bound to her. "I existed for so long believing the only way I could feel was to hurt, Bella. The pain was my constant companion and made me the shell of a man I was when you found me again. Like before, you overwhelmed me, ensnared me, and irrevocably changed me."

"Edward…when will you forgive yourself?" she asked gently. "You are the man you were always supposed to be. The man I love…the man that owns this." She placed my hand over her heart and the frantic beat of it, heat from her skin, and coolness of the silk held me enthralled. A grin spread across my face, and she responded in the same way. She would never be able to comprehend how perfect she was to me.

While I enjoyed the pounding of her heart against my palm, I used the fingers of my other hand to spread through the fine waves of her hair. The deep brown and auburn strands caressed the skin of my fingers, and for a few moments, I relished the slide of it across my sensitive tips. I spread it like a halo around the cherished features of her face. Her skin was luminous, and I brushed my thumbs across her graceful cheekbones. The thrumming of her blood caused the artery in her neck to pulse wildly, and I had the sudden urge to bite her. And so I did…

She cried out in passion, pushing against me. I let her struggle against me for the moment, before breaking away and seeing the slight indentation I'd left on her. It was primal…the pleasure I felt at it.

Thump, thump. Thump, thump... beat her heart.

It was like a literal beacon signal, calling me to the place I would find nirvana. Wafts of desire surrounded me as I watched the flush of passion cover her face. Her chocolate brown eyes were wide in amazement at the unexpected display of aggression I'd allowed and the feel of my body pressed to her. Her pupils were dilated, and her glistening lips had parted drawing pants of air in, stirring it around us. She was beauty incarnate, my vixen, my siren.

Leaning down, I blew gently across her ear. Her groan of pleasure pulled me to taste her, and I moved to place my lips over the right cheekbone and feathered kisses across the delicate structure. It led to her ear, and I took an extraordinarily long time tracing the lobe before nibbling. A growl of pleasure erupted from me when she moved her hips under me, rubbing against my hardness.

"My love…" I whispered softly breathing across her slightly damp skin. She shuddered in reaction, her hand cinching in my hair. "God…you have no idea how much I love feeling you do that," I said, sliding my mouth and tongue along her chin. She attempted to lower her lips to mine, but I wanted to nibble at her other ear as well.

Softly brushing her hair away from the delicate skin just behind her ear, I sucked it gently into my mouth. Her subtle perfume surrounded me, and I slid my hand from her heart across the silk of her tank top to place it to where my fingers lay across the swell of her breast. I felt her nipple pebble in reaction, and she growled at me softly.

"Patience, love," I said darkly.

Drinking in the scent that lingered at the curve of her neck, I ran my tongue across her skin collecting her taste, savoring it, allowing it to soak into the rough texture of my tongue. My hand clenched softly, and I quickly moved it behind her shoulder to pull her closer into my searching mouth. Using the greater access, I bit softly at the strong muscles leading down to the soft line of her shoulder. She moaned at the feel of my teeth against her, and I broke away for a moment a little shocked at the aggression that kept surfacing. Panting, I remained above her, attempting to reign in the lust, but she used the fingers laced into my hair to press my lips firmly against her again.

"Again…" she begged softly.

I grazed my teeth along her collar bone, just hard enough to bring pleasure without abrading her skin. But the silk of her camisole kept me from going further.

"May I?" I asked, pulling back to look into her lust laden eyes.

She followed the retreat of my body and sat up, so I moved behind her. Once again, I took a few moments to run my fingertips through her long hair, enjoying the slide of silk through them. Bringing a section to my nose, I inhaled deeply and noticed the slight vibration of her body. Grabbing the mass of her thick tresses, I wrapped the length around my fist several times and pulled her a little impatiently back into me. Then closing my eyes, I ran my fingertips across the delicate arch of her neck, causing goosebumps to rise along her skin. She groaned in impatience, and I murmured against the skin of her neck. "Allow me my moments, Bella. Making love to you…I've spent years fantasizing about it." Running my tongue up her neck I buried my nose in her hair, enjoying the smell of her. "When we were teenagers, you used your hair to hide from me. Do your remember that? I would watch you from across the classroom, and when I'd catch your eyes…you'd blush beautifully and hide behind this." I tugged at her hair a little harshly.

She stilled, and I used the tip of my nose to trace the line of her hair against the creamy white skin, ending my exploration by placing a soft kiss just behind each earlobe. Gently placing the mane of her hair across her shoulder, I brought my slightly shaking hands to the silk top that kept me from viewing the most alluring body I'd ever seen. Then, inches of glorious unblemished skin were revealed, only interrupted by the lush green that made up the boy shorts. Using my hands to smooth along her shoulders, I thrilled as her shivers followed my journey.

She leaned subtly back into me, bringing our skin together, and pleasure burst across us both. Her head rested against my chest, and she turned her face slightly into me. Using the tips of my fingers to caress the length of both of her arms, I was mesmerized by the uninterrupted view of the slenderness. She finally grabbed my wandering hands, linking our fingers so that she could run her fingertips across my skin. She seemed mesmerized by the play of bone and muscle.

But she then ran her fingertip across the thick band on my finger, and for a moment, sexual tension was tempered. "It almost seems too good to be real." I hissed softly when she brought the tip of my ring finger to her mouth. She nipped slightly before sucking it into the warmth and swirling it with her tongue, looking seductively up at me under the cover of her long lashes.

A soft moan of contentment gathered between us as Bella connected our lips again. This time she twisted her body and slowly pressed us to the bed. Her lips softly feathered over mine before she took my bottom lip into her mouth to suck at it. She nibbled softly at the flesh before she slowly pressed for me to open wider. Then I had the exquisite pleasure of feeling her tongue brush over mine. We spent lazy moments of tasting each other, tongues softly exploring and then as the time passed becoming more aggressive.

When she rose to straddle my body, I was stunned anew at the beauty of her. She threw her hair behind her shoulders, and I was able to look on the expanse of what she offered. As I gazed into her dark eyes, I placed my hands at her waist and softly began the transverse upwards. My thumbs came to rest under the weight of her breasts, pressing them high into the air as I rubbed the soft skin underneath. Her nipples pebbled harder, and I could no longer deny my need, sitting up to take one in my mouth, rubbing the tip with my tongue. Bella screamed my name, and my hips ground into the heat above them. My arm wrapped around her back, pulling her into me as I stroked her other nipple with my thumb. I alternated between nibbling, licking, and sucking to tantalize them both. I could stay focused on this area of Bella's delectable body for hours and attempted as much as possible to ignore the grinding of her wetness against me, but I knew I was losing the battle.

"Edward…god_…."_ She tugged at my hair as she rotated into me, dragging herself across the length of my arousal. _"_Gonna…"

I could feel it…she was on the cusp, and so I bit slightly into the swell of flesh I was worshipping and grabbed her hip with one free hand to secure her tightly to me so that I thrust against her, sending her over the edge. Her body went rigid, and she drew a harsh gasp of air. Brushing my hands along the strong muscles of her back, I soohed her, until I felt her begin to shudder against me. She slumped slightly, laying her face on the top of my head. "You are going to kill me," she muttered in satisfaction.

"Impossible, that is only the beginning," my husky voice replied. I wanted nothing more than to tear the shorts from her and dive into her body.

She groaned in need, putting her lips at my ear. "Really…what's stopping you?"

I chuckled darkly. She found herself flipped to the bed below me, her silk shorts in shreds. The plane of her abdomen caught my attention, and I placed my cheek to it, smoothing our skin against each other in an attempt to calm myself. But the smell and heat of her hit me full force, and I was surprised she didn't growl at the way I gripped her hips. I knew her taste, savored it, and after allowing a snarl to erupt from my chest, I began moving to the very core of her.

"Edward…I want…I want to taste you…"

"Later!" I growled, going all primordial male on her.

I groaned in bliss when her fingers tangled through my hair holding me to her, and she rocked her hips into my face. The taste bloomed over me, filling my mouth and senses as it had the first time I tasted her. She was wet from her earlier orgasm, and I lapped at her, running my tongue through her folds and diving into her, mimicking what I fully intended to enjoy soon. When I swirled around her clit, she cried out in pleasure.

"Again!" she demanded. My Bella was no shrinking violet.

I did as ordered but flattened my tongue against her, knowing from the tension throbbing through her that it would be all that it would take. She shattered against me again, panting my name.

_Was three times too much to do before I joined with her? _

I wanted to make our anniversary as memorable as possible…so I moved my fingers to her wetness and smoothed across her, sliding into the scalding tightness of her body to delicately stretch her.

"Oh…my…god. Edward, please…please. I need you inside of me." She put her hands to the side of my face and pulled me to face her. I saw the black of her eyes as I continued to pump inside of her slowly, stretching gently.

"Edward," she growled, attempting to threaten me against what I wanted from her.

I smirked and enjoyed the sight of her losing the fight as passion flared across her face, and her mouth slackened softly as I pushed slowly back into her swelling body again. Her face was a masterpiece as she prepared to orgasm. Her eyes were heavily hooded in desire, and she ran her tongue across her lips. Her hair fanned out around her in a riotous mess as she arched subtly into me. I ran my thumb across one of her nipples as I curved my other fingers inward and was enthralled by the soft shudders that followed as she twisted and arched against me again, hands grasping at my biceps forcefully, face frozen in the throes of release. With a breathless sigh, she slumped down into the bed in satiation.

But before I knew what to expect, she wrapped her arm around my shoulders and turned us to where she straddled me again. What was it with her and wanting to mount me?

But the question rushed from my brain as she brushed her fingers across the structure of my face and then down my chest, lacing through the fine hairs there. She proceeded to nibble at my jaw, alternately sucking at my skin and licking across it. I was hard as a rock, and the feeling of her hands and lips across my skin set fire to my body, pressing me closer to losing what little control I had. I enjoyed though the play of interest across her face as her eyes followed the pathways she took in her exploration. Finally, she moved lower to run her hand across my abdomen, and I watched her eyes as the inches of my flesh appeared as she pulled the pajama bottoms slowly down my legs.

"You're beautiful," she whispered softly.

I shook my head and smirked at her. "I'm not certain a thoroughly aroused male body is considered beautiful, Bella."

"Yours is."

I leaned up and connected our lips, bringing her body against mine, growling when her breasts touched my chest and her heated sex settled against my erection.

"Make love to me!"

I chuckled in pain and joy to hear those words. "I thought that is what I'd been doing."

I buried my hands in her hair and let go, bringing her lips back to me. Plunging my tongue into her mouth, I demanded a reaction, and her hands slid across my ribs and stomach to touch me. My eyes rolled back into the back of my head, and my mouth tore from hers as I uttered a particularly prolific curse.

"Edward Cullen!" she snickered at my outburst, brushing her hand up and down my length. I was incapable of responding.

Unintelligible sounds escaped my throat as fire spread through my bones and body, pulling at my abdomen. Her gentle caresses were heaven and hell combined as they ghosted across me, and I was literal putty in her hands. Bella leaned down and stole a passionate kiss as she continued to run her small hands across me. When she circled me and began to apply pressure, my hips moved against her, increasing the friction, and I broke the contact between our lips to growl out her name. It was exquisite torture, but I startled when she started kissing down my chest. As much as I lusted to feel her lips wrapped around me, it would all be over if she did that, so I rolled us across the bed once more, ending up with our bodies perfectly aligned.

I looked down into her face, amazed at her beauty. My love…the reason for my existence. When she smiled softly, I contemplated, for not the first time, my extreme good luck

"Edward, all I ever dreamt about was being with you, loving you," she said softly, feathering her fingers across my cheeks.

"Bella, you are mine…forever," I murmured just before pushing into her.

The tightness and wet heat of her threatened to destroy my ability to focus and go slow. We both gasped at the feeling of completion our eyes locked in adoration. I was surrounded in heat…amazing, scalding, all-encompassing heat…nestled in the body that was home to me.

"Mine." The word tore from me.

"Yes, mine." Her reaction was just as adamant.

Bella wrapped her legs around my hips, bringing our bodies flush against each other. The position allowed me to slide even further inside her and the slickness of her sex drove me crazy. I grasped her hips, angling her body more, and I drove deeper, faster, wilder against her. Miraculously, I felt her begin to swell again like a vise grip around me.

"_Fuck…fuck…fuck…not yet…" _I muttered, enjoying the push and pull of her around me, wanting it to last forever.

"I want to feel you come apart inside of me…Edward…please."She then screamed my name as she came again.

"_Please."_ The magic word.

Everything in my body focused on the feel of her…wrapped around me…seeing her head thrown back in abandoned…neck exposed, and I snapped, literally. I bit her again as I exploded, grinding into her selfishly, rocking my hips back and forth to prolong the mind encompassing feeling of claiming her. Our bodies took over, sinking our minds into the delicious oblivion, riding out the rest of the waves. Aftershocks rocked through my body for what seemed minutes as I lay on top of her, totally satiated and at peace. Then, horror rose in my mind as I realized just how hard I'd bitten her.

"Oh my God, Bella…did I…" I struggled up to lean over her.

She started laughing, her fingers to her neck, just over the spot where I'd marked her. "What was that about?" she asked, the humor at least breaking through my immediate horror.

"I'm…I'm not really sure." I wanted to bury my face in her neck and hide in embarrassment.

I could feel her laughter still in the rumbling of her chest against me. "Well…other than the fact I'll have to wear a scarf or be unmercifully harassed by Emmett…I kinda liked it."

I groaned in defeat as she wrapped her arms around me and held me tight as the final shudders of the mind-blowing sex made me as weak as a baby.

Then, as if a part of a miraculous plan, the clock struck midnight.

"Merry Christmas Edward…" she said into my hair, and I felt the soft brush of her kiss against me.

What more could I say… "Merry Christmas, love."

* * *

><p><strong>And to those who I don't speak to before that...a Happy New Year!<strong>


	88. Strong

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world I like to play.

**EPOV**

"Come in," the accented voice called out, and Bella pushed through the door, intent on getting to Aro as quickly as possible.

For a hospital, it was definitely swanky, his room looking more like a stateroom than a critical care unit. Bella gasped when she saw him. He'd refused to allow her to come see him, unwilling to allow the illusion of a man in control to be shattered. That was over, as the person who turned to face Bella was but a shadow of himself. Gone was the long black hair, the full face and smooth skin. But the fire in his eyes couldn't be extinguished.

"Isabella…" he said in astonishment, even as she lunged for him, Carlie in quick chase after her.

Sulpicia's face glowed in happiness upon seeing us coming into the room. My mom had kept the babies for us back at the rental house, so we were going to be able to stay and give Aro his special present. We were a day late, having stayed in Forks to celebrate with our families and then driving back to Seattle to board the plane. But somehow, I didn't think he was going to complain about this particular surprise coming the day after Christmas.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a raspy voice, and then glared over at his wife.

"We're here for Christmas!" Bella said in an excited tone, pulling out some mistletoe she'd found and brought along. She held it over his head and smacked a noisy one on his cheek. It was a good distraction, and the doctor in me was pleased to see the blush that graced his cheeks.

Chaos ensued after that, and Sulpicia couldn't wait long before she had the doctor call Aro and give him the news.

"You knew," he accused her, and then looked to Bella, guessing why we would be here.

"Yes, we did," his wife replied demurely. "And aren't you glad that your family is here with you to find out." It was a gentle rebuke.

What could he say to that?

It was several hours later, when the women had stepped out-Bella going to pump and call my mom and the others to get snacks—that Aro turned to me with a sober expression.

"The news…it is as good as the doctor and my wife would have me to believe?

"Yes."

"Hm…my life will change then young Edward. For God and I have come to an understanding. When we return to Seattle, I have amends to make and some soul cleansing to accomplish."

I wasn't so sure I would want to glimpse into Aro's soul. It was my guess that it was a very complicated and treacherous place. But if he wanted to set his life straight, then who was I to question his motives? I, for one, knew just how a brush with death could put everything into perspective.

Our stay was brief, only a few days to work out the details. But during that time, I was witness to the bond that my wife and daughter held with the cantankerous Italian man and his lovely wife. I wondered, as we flew him home, what he planned to do with his new found serenity. For while frail and almost wasted from the effects of the chemo and treatment, Aro radiated peace.

The years that followed saw a change in the Velathri clan as he and Marcus retired, turned the business over to their chosen ones and stepped out of the limelight. It would seem that whatever Aro's decision had been, it suited him and the family. They became involved in more philanthropies, and Aro even volunteered time and his services to low income families. A man changed, it would seem that he spent his time making amends. His time was spent in service, and in enjoying his growing family…my babies, Jane's and Felix's four, and Demetri's and Elizabeths five vivacious girls, in addition to all the others.

We were only to find out later, years later, when the cancer came back and the poisons of chemo couldn't work their magic in his blood, what he'd planned to do and just how much those amends were needed.

Our first surprise came as grief still held my wife and children in its steel clawed grasp. For when we received the notice to come to the reading of the will, we'd found ourselves declared his heirs, after Sulpicia.

Six months, almost to the date, Bella and I sat once again in front of a solicitor. No matter what my medical knowledge and training told me, my professional and personal opinion was that Sulpicia had died of a broken heart.

In the personal items that were given to us, Bella and I found a letter penned by the man himself in the bottom of the jeweled box that he and Sulpicia had filled with priceless family heirlooms.

In the letter, he spoke of the sins of his past and his pleas for forgiveness.

As I held a shocked and grief ridden Bella in my arms and wondered what it all meant for our lives, I was reminded of Mohandas Ghandhi's words on the matter.

_The weak can never forgive, for forgiveness is the attribute of the strong._

A/N: Hope you enjoyed, even if it was a sad ending.


	89. New Beginnings

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created and owns this world in which I like to play.

So, yeah, this kinda came to me on a break from editing my original fiction book. I ignored the plot bunny because life has been just crazy. However, after I sent my book off to the wonderful Kathie for a knuckle biting edit, I decided to take a quick moment away and write this scene so it would leave me alone. Then, as soon as I started writing this outtake, another one came to mind . . . then a whole other story about the Cullens began forming. I could just hit myself in the head, seriously. I have an outline to put together for the second in my book series, and here I'm having fun in FF world again.

Anyhow, I've written twelve chapters on the new FF story (called Mother Father), and if I can get myself to finish it, I'll post. But for now, I wanted to send this out as a special thank you for all the readers who've taken the time to grace my stories over the years. It is totally unbetaed, so all errors are mine. Also, just FYI, this outtake happens before Aro's chapter (ie . . . the last chapter I posted in Sins a year ago on Valentine's Day. What a coincidence.) In this moment in the Cullen/Velathri/Black world, Aro is still alive and kicking.

I would've waited until Valentine's Day to post, but I doubt very many FF readers will be around their computers on that day for various reasons.

**Seth POV**

I was as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, as Jasper would say. Never one to like being in the spotlight, I was about to make a spectacle of myself. But it wasn't the attention that had me sweating, it was the possible outcome of my shenanigans that had my stomach tied up in knots. I'd been planning everything for months, but something could go wrong, including Carlie flat out refusing.

My leg jiggled, drawing my father's attention. He grinned and shook his head, which caused my mother to turn and look my way. At least she smiled encouragingly. I wanted to throw something at my dad. If I didn't know I had his full support, I would have. It hadn't been long ago I'd let him in on my plans.

~SOMP~

"_Dad, can I talk with you for a moment?" He was in his shop working on a new carving. _

"_Yup," he said, popping the "p." Pulling a rag from his table, he brushed off the other stool, knocking some fine shavings to the floor. The room smelled of freshly cut wood, his aftershave, and the stains he used at times. It was a combination of scents I would forever associate with home and love._

"_What's on your mind?" he asked as I took a seat across from him. Having set down the project he'd been working on, his dark eyes focused on me. _

"_Carlie."_

_He grinned wolfishly. "And that's different from any other day?" he teased._

_Busted, I grinned. I was a little focused on her, but this was different. Taking a deep breath, I let the words spill from my lips._

"_I want to ask her to marry me on Valentine's Day. When we go to the Cullens' party for New Beginnings."_

_Over the past two years, Edward and Aunt Bella had worked with one of the women who'd petitioned the Cullen's charitable organization to build a small city under Esme's guidance. Conveniently located in a previously abandoned factory close to many of the major hospitals, the facility would give families the ability to stay for free while their children were getting medical care. Named by Samantha, aka Sam2, and Madison Cullen, it was opening on Valentine's Day, and there was to be a big celebration. Everyone was going to be there, and I wasn't just talking about the Cullens, Blacks, and Velathris. It was going to be a society and press event, and I didn't want to create a spectacle. But then again, I did. Carlie was worth it._

"_And you are coming to me because?" He arched his eyebrow at me._

_Really? He had to ask? He was Carlie's father as much as he was mine. "To ask for your blessing. I'm going to Edward next."_

_He laughed loudly, grabbing me into a hug. "Make sure you let the redhead know you asked me first," he teased. _

_I rolled my eyes at his jab. He and Uncle Edward had become very good friends since Bellagate, as we jokingly called it. Edward had enough to worry about anyway right now, so teasing him might not be the best thing._

"_Seth, I'm honored you'd ask, and, of course, I give you my blessing. I'm not certain you or Carlie would listen even if I said no. You two are made for each other." Smiling, he patted my shoulder with his hand. "Now, let's talk about what's important. Have you two decided what you're going to use for protection?"_

_I couldn't help but start laughing. Aunt Bella had already taken Carlie to the gynecologist to get on birth control, but it would seem dad didn't know._

"_We were . . . um . . . thinking we wouldn't worry about it. I mean we are going to be together forever and having a kid early wouldn't be horrible. I mean, it might actually be better timing than waiting until we are in graduate school."_

_My dad turned white. Then his mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. I started laughing so hard I snorted. The next thing I knew, we were in the floor wrestling like kids. _

"_Twerp," he snarled, goosing me in the ribs and causing me to lose hold of his arms. _

_He pinned me, but didn't think to secure my feet. Levering them, I threw him across the room into the wall beside the door. Once he might have over powered me, but I'd hit another growth spurt and was touching six four. _

_The door opened as he slid down the wall, and my mother glared at us both. "Really?"_

_My sister sniffed her disdain from beside my mom._

"_Dinner's ready. If you two mutts can behave, you can come eat."_

_Knowing exactly why I'd come out here, she winked at me slyly before closing the door. She'd been the first person I'd talked to about it all. _

_My dad and I broke down in laughter when the door slammed impressively. _

_Sitting cross legged, I assessed the being across from me. I could do a lot worse than be the man, husband, and father he was. "Dad, I'm scared." So there it was._

_All humor fled as he motioned me over to sit by him. When I did, he plopped his big arm around my shoulder and squeezed. "About what?"_

"_What if I fail her? It's easy to be a boyfriend, but a husband?" I shrugged, looking down at my hands. _

"_You know, you're going to get a lot of different advice if you ask people what makes a good marriage. Some say it is the sex appeal, others the mutual interest, and more than a few will tell you it is just plain luck. Now, I'll admit I was extremely lucky when your mom beat me over the head to make me see reason, and we definitely share interests to a degree." A devilish look came over his face. "And we know your mom thinks I'm all hot and everything." He said this as he patted his washboard stomach, and I cracked up laughing at him. He grinned and then grew serious. "But, it's all about how you manage to remain 'in like,' Seth. Your mom loves me, but I chose to think she likes me most of the time as well. It's a lot of work, but in my opinion, the key to having a good marriage is being good friends. You and Carlie have that down to a science."_

"_Just remember you two have families on both sides who will support you through the thick and thin. You'll never be alone, and if something gets crazy, come see one of us about it. Marriage is work, even when you love, respect, and like the person to whom you're married. Having a good support system is crucial, especially for those times you're in the dog house."_

_I shook my head, grinning. I could see myself being there a time or two._

_Suddenly he stilled. "Hey, do you need help with a ring?" _

_A hot rush of blood filled my cheeks. "Um . . . no. I've got it taken care of."_

_~SOMP~_

My recollection of that day ended with my father's confusion, even though we'd gone on to talk about more important things, like the fact I wanted him to be my best man. There would never been anyone I'd ever imagined other than him at my side. Before Edward had come into the picture, I'd wondered how we were going to handle the wedding, but providence had certainly provided the answer. In regards to the ring, I'd been sworn to secrecy, so even though I wanted to tell him, I couldn't.

I reached for the box in my pocket for probably the hundredth time. I was becoming as OCD as Edward, checking, every few seconds, that I hadn't lost it. Grinning at the thought, I focused back on the mayor and the speech he was giving, only to catch Carlie watching me out of the corner of my eye. I tried not to cringe as I faced her. Her brow was furrowed, her eyes assessing. She'd gotten on to me several times during the day, asking what was wrong and questioning my distraction. A curious, pissed-off Carlie was never a good thing.

To distract her, I leaned over and grabbed her hand, bringing her knuckles to my lips for a quick kiss and nibble. She blushed at my actions. It was a reminder of the prior evening when our kissing had gotten a little out of control. I took several deep breaths to calm down before I embarrassed myself. Waiting was killing me, and I was afraid I was going to be a lunatic before June came. It'd never been a secret Carlie and I planned to get married right out of high school, but I'd wanted to wait for the right opportunity to make our engagement official.

And hopefully tonight was the night.

Looking around at the room, I cringed at the number of people focusing on the speeches.

New Beginnings was a big to-do. Bella and Edward had found a factory that had been abandoned and placed up for sale, and Esme had gone crazy. The larger of the two old buildings had been converted to family housing consisting of apartment style homes. After removing the large concrete parking lot between the main structures, she'd developed a playground and park. However, taking into consideration the temperamental Seattle climate, she'd connected the buildings, leaving the second one open. In it, she'd built an indoor play area, including a climbing wall. To the side of the playground was an industrial kitchen and dining area that would supply meals for the families, for the times they did not want to utilize the smaller kitchens in the living units. A small laundry service and extensive library occupied the other side. In between these amenities was a living room of epic proportions. Bigger than most ballrooms, it was designed to allow families to congregate, and for events such as today, it could be cleared and utilized to bring public awareness to a worthy cause.

While the catering staff made their way between the tables, teenagers dispersed literature regarding opportunities to volunteer and for sponsorship. I was hoping the effort would produce a lot of contributions, because Aro and Marcus were going to let me draw up the first drafts of the donation paperwork. They'd have to refine them and put their names to the papers to make it all legit, but I was going to get an unprecedented opportunity. Being a favored intern at the law office had some perks, even if the hours sometimes killed me.

But long hours and a killer internship weren't the only fruits of my labor.

~SOMP~

"_You seem distracted young man," Aro said softly, drawing my attention._

_Having slouched over in my chair, my elbow on the table and chin in my hand, I shot straight up at his voice. He'd asked me to read a legislative piece from the last session that hadn't passed, to note the strengths and weaknesses of the bill. I didn't understand all the premises and arguments, having avoided political discussions like most red-blooded American teenagers, but the gist of the bill was clear – the formation of a task force to investigate the possible disparate treatment of prisoners, particularly juveniles, based upon race. The data was interesting, but I'd quickly learned numbers could be manipulated to support any idea. Whether or not the disparate treatment was happening, or whether or not it was a product of different cultures or norms appeared to be the point of contention. I'd been contemplating the bill was doomed from the beginning because of the way it had been proposed . . . by a Senator known to be a hot head and one to use issues to glorify his name._

"_Sorry," I apologized, wondering how long he'd been standing beside me. "I'm a little tired. I worked late last night."_

"_Worked?" he asked, his eyebrow arched._

"_A side job helping one of our neighbors down the street."_

_He sat, his hands in a prayerful manner on the table surface. Having lost his hair to the chemotherapy he'd endured, what had grown back was still short, falling just at his jawline. It was a mixture of inky black and stark white stripes. Combined with his pose, it made him appear otherworldly, like some great wizard from Tolkien's worlds. _

"_Our compensation for the internship isn't enough?" he murmured._

_Crap! I didn't want him to think I wasn't appreciative. "No!" I said quickly. "No, it's not that. I've been saving for something special."_

_He turned his head to the side, and I squirmed in my seat. The man could get anyone to spill their guts simply with a look._

"_I um . . . I've been saving for a ring, for Carlie."_

_He smiled immediately, deviltry filling his eyes. "A ring, you say?" I swear I blushed, even though boys weren't supposed to. "For how long?" _

_I know I blushed then. "Since I was ten."_

_He roared in laughter, and the noise attracted Sulpicia's attention. We were working from their home because Aro hadn't been feeling well the past week. Aunt Bella had panicked along with Sulpicia and taken him to the doctor, but it had proven to simply be a virus. Still, they hadn't allowed him out of the house, ordering rest._

"_What are you cackling at, old man?" she teased harshly. The tone was belied by the love and affection in her eyes as she came into his study, running her hands across his shoulders to lean in and kiss the crown of his head._

"_Our boy. Did you know he's been saving for Carlie an engagement ring since he was just a pup?" He turned to look up at her._

_She grinned back at him. "No, I didn't." _

_They both turned back to me at the same time. I still got weirded out over the Velathris, but couldn't figure out why. They'd been nothing but amazing to my family. It was with that thought an idea struck me._

"_Do you have a recommendation for a good jeweler? Someone you could trust to give me a fair price?" I shrugged. "I don't have a ton of money, and certainly not enough for what I'd like to get her." I'd been planning to approach my dad or Edward to help me go look, but the words had just popped out of my mouth._

_Aro smiled serenely. "Yes, I think I might have a suggestion or two." He rose, indicating for Sulpicia to take the seat he was vacating. "I'll be right back." Eyes wide, I watched him leave. _

"_Humor him?" Sulpicia asked softly, confusing me. _

"_Sure," I answered without understanding what she was requesting._

_I respected them immensely, and it didn't hurt that Carlie thought of them as family, pseudo grandparents or an esteemed aunt or uncle at the least._

_She distracted me from questioning her by asking about what I'd been reading. I was explaining my interpretation of the papers when Aro walked in with what appeared to be a large briefcase. Assuming he was looking for a business card he'd stashed in it, I was struck dumb when he placed the case before me and opened it. It was not a briefcase, but a large jewelry carrier; a multitude of necklaces, rings, and bracelets glittered back at me in the bright lights._

_Horrified, I looked back to them. "I–" The words stuck in my throat. I didn't want to take something from them, wanting to do this myself. Sulpicia caught my eyes and narrowed hers at me in warning. _

_Humor him . . ._

_Gah!_

_Aro lifted the first layer away to reveal another, then another. When he was done, three narrow trays of brilliant gems twinkled in greeting from their placement on the table before me._

_Putting his hand on my shoulder, Aro said, "Now, I'm certain you want to do this by yourself." _

_What! Was he some mind reader?_

"_But allow us to help a little. These pieces are ancient . . . things from Sulpicia's family or items I've acquired over the years in payment for services rendered." He chuckled softly when I jerked. "All legal, young Seth. Now, with no excuses for being nosy, how much do you have for your Carlie?"_

_I was proud of the amount, even though I knew it wouldn't buy the best of rings. "A little more than five thousand."_

"_Impressive," Aro murmured. His eyebrow even arched, which was a mannerism generally reserved for my dad or Edward._

_It'd helped I hadn't had to buy a car. Edward, Aunt Bella, and my parents had made sure Carlie and I had safe ones to take to college._

"_And you don't want to pick out a ring with her?" Sulpicia asked gently._

_So here was the heart of the matter. "I was thinking a diamond solitaire, and then when I can afford something better we can choose a setting she likes for an anniversary or special occassion. She is so organized and a planner . . . and bossy." We all chuckled at that. "It's not like everyone doesn't know we want to get married, so a ring is a given. I just want to surprise her once, you know?" I sounded like an idiot._

_Sulpicia wiped a tear out from below her eye. "Then it has to be perfect."_

_Perfect. The jewelry before me wasn't . . . for Carlie. It was all too much. Some of it wasn't even attractive, or at least to me, but I didn't know how to break it to them. Aro saved me._

"_Well, none of this is perfect for Carlie, but many of the stones are rare and priceless like her." He pulled a chair to sit beside me. "Look at the stones and see if one appeals to you, then we'll take the piece to my friend at Tiffany's. This will all go to Isabella and Carlie upon our deaths anyway, so this will allow you to focus on the quality of the setting. It'll take what you have saved to buy a platinum setting and wedding band."_

_Sulpicia added, "So you'll be using the money you saved to actually buy the ring. The stone will just be hers a little earlier."_

_They were conning me, but I didn't want to appear ungrateful. It couldn't hurt to look before I begged off of the generosity. Pushing the file I'd been reviewing to the side, I nodded. I swear I heard Sulpicia squeal like Alice, but she was too reserved and refined for that._

_There were diamonds galore, but most of them were too big. I'd been researching on-line and figured, one day, I'd like to get Carlie a nice quality one-carat stone. Her fingers were too small and hands too delicate to carry anything bigger gracefully. I was thinking whatever I could buy now might serve as an accent to my dream . . . but the ones on the first tray Aro presented made a carat look like a chip. The second tray wasn't much better, until I saw a delicate necklace. It had a single oval diamond suspended from a slender white chain. _

_I picked it up, holding it closer to examine. It would be a shame to destroy the necklace for the diamond, but it was very nice._

"_Nice selection. It's most likely a little over a carat," Sulpicia said. "The shape would be nice in a solitaire. Put it to the side and keep looking," she encouraged._

_Handing it to Aro, I did as she said, but my mind was stuck on the oval gem. Then at the bottom of the tray, I saw something intriguing. It was a bright yellow stone. Set in an atrocious ring and surrounded by a bunch of smaller diamonds, the round jewel still shone brightly. _

"_What is this one?" I asked, handing the ring to Sulpicia. I was no gemstone aficionado. I'd been way out of my league with the clandestine research I'd been putting into rings._

_She hummed. "A very rare and unique fancy yellow diamond. It was my grandmother's. The story is my great grandfather brought it from Africa as a present when my father was born. The ring is horrible." She shuddered delicately. "But the stone is magnifico. I remember playing with it on her finger as a child. My grandmother treasured this piece until she died."_

_She reverently handed the piece to Aro to place beside the necklace. _

_I didn't see a need to go farther, but did so anyway and complicated everything. An emerald winked at me in the middle of a bunch of gold. Emerald cut . . . wow, showing off some of my knowledge . . . and a deep true green, it dazzled me. Already set into a simple gold ring, I could see it immediately in my mind as an engagement ring. But an emerald? Was that even acceptable?_

"_Carlie's eyes," Aro said softly. _

_I nodded, holding the ring before me. My hand shook._

_Aro cleared the trays away, laying the two other pieces I'd selected on a soft cloth of blue velvet. It took me a moment to set the emerald ring down beside them._

"_Diamond for tradition, emerald for Carlie's eyes, and canary diamond for?"_

"_The stars," I admitted with a shy grin. "It's one of our favorite things to do . . . go out to the beach at the Rez and watch the heavens. We've been doing it since we were kids. On a clear night, there are a million stars watching over us. Like the guy on It's a Wonderful Life, I've always told her I wished I could rope her one." Yeah I knew Jimmy Stewart said the moon, but Carlie had always wanted the stars._

_Sulpicia did sob then._

"_Carlie isn't your usual young woman, Seth. Any of your choices would make an exquisite ring," Aro offered._

_She'd actually said she didn't even want an engagement ring, just a wedding band. I didn't know if she was being truly honest, or simply trying to keep from hurting my feelings. I'd been sneaky with hiding my money, so she probably thought I wasn't able to afford anything. In fact, I was hoping so, because it would make the surprise even better._

_Sulpicia picked the oval diamond up, dangling it by the slender chain. "This would make Carlie a nice wedding present from us, Aro. She could wear it as her something old."_

_Clever woman. It was down to the emerald and canary diamond._

"_I thought we were paying for the honeymoon," he murmured, making my jaw drop. "But if you want to add in the necklace, that's fine."_

_I gaped at him. "Honeymoon?"_

"_We've already had a discussion with your family. Your mother and father are paying for the wedding, we're doing the honeymoon, and Isabella and Edward are funding your college and the housing, if you choose to move away from Seattle. However, I would suggest you remain here at the University and enjoy the use of Bella and Carlie's first home. If done properly, the money you could invest from what Isabella and Edward have planned would easily provide financial security when you settle out of college or graduate school."_

_My mouth hadn't closed yet. I knew there were some plans, just not the magnitude. And when were they planning to let us in on all of it? _

_Aro snickered. "As you know, I love messing with your father, you know. Edward runs a close second. Act all surprised when they speak to you about this."_

_I couldn't help but laugh at his too pleased expression. Yellow canary in one hand and emerald in other, I pondered._

_ ~SOMP~_

"Seth, are you sure everything is okay?" Carlie asked, leaning over to trace her fingertips along my jawline.

I had to catch my breath. She was absolutely stunning in her long white formal dress. Long dark hair pulled into some fancy twist her aunt had managed, the length of it fell down her back in curls. She wore the faintest of makeup, but her eyes had been highlighted with some smoky stuff making them glow like emeralds.

Like me, Carlie had continued growing and was now a couple of inches taller than Aunt Bella. She'd also filled out from the slender girl of our early teens. Curves had replaced tom-boy hips, and it took everything I had not to look down at what the neckline of her dress revealed. It gave away a little too much in my opinion, and I didn't like how other guys kept staring at her. Understanding completely how the green eyed monster had gotten Uncle Edward into so much trouble, I wanted to rip their eyes from the sockets.

Most of the guys on my football team and around school talked about Victoria Secret models as their ultimate fantasies. Those women had nothing on my girlfriend. I knew. The last summer had almost killed me with the tiny bikinis Carlie unleashed on me. She was my everything. But my everything came with a temper too, and I saw her eyes narrowing at my silence.

"Carlie, I'm nervous. You know I don't like being in front of people," I admitted.

The frustration melted from her features, and she grinned before leaning over to kiss my lips softly. "You're going to be fine. And while you are up there wowing them, I'm going to sit here and gloat about you being mine."

She giggled as I rolled my eyes at her.

"I'm still trying to figure out how to thank you for my necklace," she said softly, reaching up to run her fingertip along the line of the delicate platinum chain gracing her neck. "I love it! I know I've told you, but I can't believe you did this. Between the opening and your surprise, I can't imagine this day getting any better!" She bit the side of her lip. "You said Aro helped you get this made?" she asked, running her fingertip along the infinity sign with the emerald mounted at the junction of the loops.

"Mmm Hmm."

The jeweler had about had a heart attack when Aro and I stepped into his private office and he'd gotten a first look at the two pieces I'd brought in to discuss. Pulling out a jeweler's loupe to look at the stones, the man attempted to remain professional, but he'd ruined the image when his hands started shaking.

"_My young apprentice would like the emerald set in a necklace, and the diamond in an engagement ring,"_ Aro had announced with flourish.

When I'd told my mom of my plans for a ring and the idea about presenting it to Carlie on Valentine's Day, she'd cried. But then she'd instructed me on the intricate art of proposing. It would seem getting your engagement ring for a Valentine's Day present wasn't "all the rage." She'd gone further to inform me I would have to give Carlie something else in addition, even if it was a small token. When the man from Tiffany had swallowed deeply and set both pieces of jewelry down with great reverence and greed, I'd known Carlie wouldn't be getting a trinket.

I'd about joined the man in critical care when he told me how much the diamond and emerald were worth, not to mention the stones I'd all but ignored beside the yellow one. At Aro's insistence the pieces were mine to bargain with, I'd come alive to work a deal to exchange the smaller diamonds bordering the canary one for the cost of necklace and solitaire setting. I'd still left a substantial credit with which Carlie and I could later shop for wedding bands, and my savings in the bank, much to my chagrin. The only thing that'd helped my ego was Aro's insinuation I could use it on our honeymoon to pamper Carlie. Much later, I'd realized he'd known exactly what he was doing taking me to Tiffany's and then distracting my very juvenile mind with visions of Carlie and me alone.

So if Carlie was left ignorant about the fact she wore the equivalent of the cost of a car around her neck, the more the better for now. I would never admit, unless she threatened to leave me, what the diamond in my pocket was worth. It absolutely scared me, but I'd known the minute I'd decided on the yellow stone, I'd made the right choice. Sulpicia had broken down in tears about her grandmother's legacy continuing, and in the end, I'd decided it was about what I wanted to give Carlie and what the stone would symbolize for the rest of our lives.

"I'm still upset with you though, because I don't know how you afforded this thing. Momma said emeralds could get real expensive." She had no clue.

I shrugged. "Hush and accept it gracefully."

Her eyelids lowered a tad bit more before I kissed her back, hopefully distracting her.

"Let us hear from one of the founders now," the mayor announced, drawing both of our attention back to what was happening around us. "Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce Mr. Edward Cullen."

Applause exploded around the room, with a loud whoop of excitement billowing out of Emmett. Rose smacked him in the back of the head, but nothing could detract Emmett from making a racket as my future father-in-law walked up on the makeshift stage. Dressed in a tuxedo, he drew several gasps from around the room making Aunt Bella chuckle.

"All they'd need to experience is his anal tendencies, and they wouldn't think he was so hot," she murmured in a teasing tone.

Carlie and I both rolled our eyes. Aunt Bella was sometimes delusional, but right now, she was being cantankerous. At Emmett's loudly yelled, "SS," the family, including Bella, burst out in laughter. I saw Edward blush even from where we were sitting.

Poor man.

~SOMP~

"_Hey!" Edward said, greeting me with a hug._

_He was cooking something that smelled wonderful, and my mouth watered. I was starving, having come over to the house directly from school. _

"_Hungry?" he asked, going back over to the pot to stir it._

"_Yeah." I sat at a stool, leaning against the marble counter top of the breakfast bar. _

"_I made potato soup, homemade yeast rolls, and a salad. Bella has only been able to handle bland stuff, so I hope that's okay?" He smiled as I nodded my head quickly. "I'll have it done in a minute, and you and I can eat." He reached over to where a cutting board of bacon sat and dumped it into the pot._

"_Where's Aunt Bella?" I asked, realizing it was awfully quiet._

"_Asleep, thank God." He shuddered, and I chuckled at him. "She's been so sick, and getting her to rest is about impossible. My mom took Nia and Tony over to her house to give us a few moments of peace and quiet. Sam and Madison were excited to get to watch them, so it worked out for all of us."_

_The twins were approaching their terrible twos, and although I wouldn't say they were all that terrible, they were energetic and far too intelligent for their own good. They could run circles around Carlie and me and had on many occasions._

"_Any luck finding a part-time nanny?" I asked._

_He turned and grinned over his shoulder at me. "Yes and no. We found two. One who came recommended from our last one and a man."_

"_Man?" I arched my eyebrow._

"_Yeah," he shrugged. "He's a grad student from France and speaks four languages. I like him a lot, but I had to give him the stink eye over Bella." _

_I chuckled realizing he was being sincere. _

"_Then he got a look at Carlie . . ." _

_I growled, earning a chuckle. _

"_Don't worry. I took care of it."_

_Bringing the salad bowl and the rolls over in a basket, he put them down on the bar before going back to stir the soup. "Looks good to me. We'll be the taste testers," he proposed, holding out a large bowl for me to come over and serve up my own portion._

_It was only when we sat down that I asked more about Aunt Bella. "What did the doctor today?"_

"_Not twins this time!" He acted so excited I had to laugh. They'd known it was only one baby for a while, so he was attempting to be funny. At my raised eyebrow, he chuckled. "It's a boy, and the doctor said Bella is fine, just a little dehydrated from the morning sickness."_

"_And afternoon sickness and evening sickness," I added._

"_Yeah," he said, taking a deep breath. _

_I laughed at his sorrowful look. The family had absolutely tore them to pieces with glee when they'd admitted Bella was pregnant again. No two babies were more loved than Tony and Nia, but Aunt Bella's career had skyrocketed after the release of her last book. She'd finally revealed her true name, and the press had gone crazy. To add to it, Edward had gone back to work. So, on top of their careers, taking care of the twins and Carlie was a full time job. I knew Edward could've cared less about having more children. He was totally entranced, as my mother put it, with Bella, Carlie, and the twins. So the new baby was somewhat of an enigma and miracle at the same time._

_I wasn't privy to their innermost workings, but I'd gathered Aunt Bella had been on the pill when it happened, like last time. This time, though, there hadn't been the excuse of antibiotics. It was then that Emmett had labeled Edward as SS. We should've known better than to ask, but Edward had chased him out of the house when Emmett announced it stood for Super Sperminator. That Bella had started retching just a moment after Edward leapt to chase Emmett hadn't helped calm the ribald atmosphere of the family dinner._

_So Aunt Bella was a ticking time bomb to be treaded lightly around. Ninety percent of the time, she was all googly eyed over Edward. The other ten percent of the time, she was a beast. Through it all, Edward kept smiling, encouraging her to rest, holding her hand when she was sick, and rubbing her feet, arms, legs, shoulders, and probably anything else she wanted. I'd overheard my dad talking with my mom about it. He'd said Edward had made an appointment to get a vasectomy, unwilling to risk another "oops." There'd been pride in my dad's voice as it was discussed. Edward had come a long way to redeeming himself in my dad's eyes._

"_I'm glad she's going to be fine." I tried to keep from snickering._

"_Whew," he swiped his hand over his forehead in fun before rolling his eyes. "I'm still in so much trouble," he said in a mock whisper. _

_He looked anything but repentant. In fact, he was all but glowing, if it could be said that men glowed. Edward did something though, because he attracted females, and some men, like honey did bees. Carlie had joked about her dad recently. Seems a magazine had written an article about how he'd gone from being one of Seattle's most eligible bachelors to the most wanted DILF. Carlie, with her irreverent humor, had thought it all hilarious. I wondered what the magazine readers would think if they could see him with baby throw up down his back and juggling a dirty diaper. Knowing his luck, it would make him even more desirable._

"_So . . ." he said, leading into why I'd come._

_He was so easy to talk to that I didn't hesitate to jump right in. "Valentine's Day is coming up, and I thought it might be a good time to formally ask your daughter to marry me. I wanted to ask your permission to take the ring you put on her finger off and put mine on it instead."_

_He glanced down at his soup and smiled brightly. Taking another bite, he chewed slowly and swallowed before meeting my gaze._

"_You know, when the two of you walked into my office on Bella's birthday, it was the beginning of a new life for me. I remember feeling such a surge of love and protectiveness for Carlie, and I thought, 'I'm going to have to have a real talk with this young man.' It didn't skip my notice you were your father made all over." He grinned, his lips pulling up into a smirk. "Now, in case you didn't know, your father and I haven't always seen eye to eye."_

_I almost choked on my soup. Talk about major understatement. _

_Edward chuckled at my reaction._

"_But one thing I quickly learned during those weeks I fought to win a place in Carlie's and Bella's lives was your consistency, character, and the love you have for both my wife and my daughter." He pushed the basket of rolls over to me, seeing I'd already devoured the one he'd given me. "To be frank, I was wondering when you'd be coming to see me." He smirked again before shaking his head. "You talked to your dad first, right?"_

_I nodded._

"_Good. He deserves that, but don't tell him I said so. Let him think it upset me and all."_

_Sometimes I just didn't understand their dynamic. Whatever it was, it was working. Dad had actually come and taken Edward on a guy's night out during one of Aunt Bella's tirades. My mom had calmed the "raging pregnancy hormones" while dad got Edward tipsy. When Edward had come home and dropped to his knees in front of Bella to announce she was the most beautiful of all creatures, Aunt Bella had sobbed, pulling him up for a kiss that probably shouldn't have happened in front of Carlie and me. But considering Bella had gone at least a week before losing it again at him, it had been a pretty good strategy._

"_If I composed a list of attributes I wanted in Carlie's husband, I couldn't fashion a more perfect man than you, Seth. Of course you have my permission and Bella's too. We've spoken many times about this. It'll be an honor to see you first ask my baby to marry you, and secondly see you standing there at the altar for her. And speaking of weddings, Bella and I would like to see you and Carlie situated in your own place for college, even though you know we're all still routing for University of Washington. If you decide to stay in Seattle, you'll have a multitude of free options, so we'll put the money in a savings account for you to use when the time comes," he said. _

_Carlie and I had already decided on the University of Washington, but she wanted to surprise them. She and Edward were still bonding after losing so many years, and the draw of other colleges wasn't enough to convince her to leave, when a great college was just minutes away. We'd spoken about asking to move into Bella and Carlie's house beside my parents. It would give us some independence, while still being extremely close to both my parents and her family._

"_We can talk once you decide what you're going to do, but it'll be our wedding present to you."_

"_Thank you." I could've tried to fight it, but I knew I wouldn't win. We didn't want everything handed to us, but having a home to start out would certainly make things easier for law and medical school._

"_So what's your plan for the proposal?" he asked mischievously. _

_Considering the romantic coupe he'd pulled off asking Aunt Bella to marry him, I'd been waiting for this moment and opportunity to pick his brain._

"_Well . . ."_

_ ~SOMP~_

Edward returned to the table, having given a heartfelt speech about the charitable division of Cullen Enterprises. He'd explained how the yearly awards had been a way of celebrating Aunt Bella's birthday over the years since it start. No one, seeing the look of love on his face as he leaned over Aunt Bella and the passionate kiss she planted on him, would've guessed how many of those years they'd spent apart believing the other held only hatred in their hearts. If their love wasn't such a powerful thing, it would've been embarrassing. Thankfully, Aunt Bella's stomach must have been agreeing with her at the moment, and she grinned at him, running her fingertips along his jaw. Hand on her very sizable baby bump, she tugged him down by the hair for another kiss, earning groans of mock embarrassment from Emmett. Carlisle and Jasper added into the teasing, while Esme, Alice, and Rosalie gave token protests. Edward could care less, slinking down into his chair like a well satisfied cat, he put one arm around Bella's shoulders and the other hand on her stomach.

He wasn't the only one enjoying the fruits of his labor, so to say. At the Velathri's table beside us, Felix towered over tiny Jane. Her stomach was even bigger than Bella's, and considering her small frame, she looked ready to pop even though I knew she had at least another month to go. It was a boy. One, if Jane's stomach was any indication, would rival his father in size. Demetri cradled one baby to his shoulder, the little girl's golden hair shining brightly in the lights of the room as his other hand cradled Elizabeth's bump. Emmett had crucified him because Elizabeth had gotten pregnant just before their wedding, and pregnant again two months after Hannah's birth. Poor Elizabeth, it would seem she and Demetri couldn't get enough of each other, and she was the one to pay the price. But if the constant smile on her face wasn't a sign of how she felt about it all, I didn't know what could be. The elders were not to be left out. Aro, held Nia, while Marcus entertained Tony even as Caius attempted to interfere. Regal, the Velathri wives held court over Jasmine, Emmie, Ross, and Alistair.

But it wasn't just the presence of so many babies and soon-to-be babies that made my and Carlie's extended family happy, it was the new beginnings everywhere. Sitting at the table to the other side of us were Aunt Bella's publishing friends. Her agent, Leslie, had married a man she'd met during Aunt Bella's last tour, and the two of them sat as close as the chairs would allow. And Robert, the man who Carlie and I had finally figured out had given her father a run for his money, had fallen head over heels in love with the English author he'd been sent to woo. She hadn't been able to attend our event, but that didn't mean he lacked for company. Sam 2 and Madison had proclaimed themselves his dates and sat to each of his sides like twin guardians. He'd held their hands through the initial activities, guiding them safely from place to place and introducing them with great skill as the women being honored by the event. He was handling Bella's new book launch while Leslie was on an extended honeymoon, and she would be returning the favor with his clients soon. His wedding was planned in England for late summer, and Carlie and I would be accompanying Edward, Bella, the twins, and baby Charlie.

The only presence missing from the event was my grandfather. He'd passed away in his sleep just before Christmas, but even still, the pain washed over me in great waves. I would've loved for him to be here for this night, but I knew he watched over me, and how he'd felt about Carlie, so it was all I could ask. Reaching over, I grabbed her hand and linked our fingers. Smiling softly, Carlie moved her seat even closer to me. I couldn't remember the first time I'd held her hand. I was certain we must have done it in the crib. But what was more important, I couldn't remember a time I hadn't held her hand.

The center's director had stepped to the podium after Edward, and her slide show about the vision, history, and construction of New Beginnings was winding down. Panic set in, making me sweat bullets.

"Now, as we come to the conclusion of our ceremonies, we've asked some very special guests to come forward to perform the ribbon cutting," she announced. "For those of you who aren't familiar with the reason for this project, I would introduce Samantha and Madison Cullen, and their hero, Seth Black. Can we all give a round of applause while they take the stage?"

Taking a deep breath, I pushed my chair back to rise, but was stopped by Carlie's hand on my arm.

"Give 'em hell, tiger," she teased before kissing my cheek. It was the words she whispered in my ear that counted the most. "Make us proud."

I hoped to.

Stepping to the table where Robert had kept my co-stars entertained, I pulled both Madison's and Sam's chairs back for them to rise, then offered an arm to them both. Madison's grip was the tightest. She was still terrified of strangers and nervous in large crowds, but she'd fought hard to be in attendance tonight and participate, and I was going to do everything I could to support her. We'd bonded over the ordeal that brought her into the family. She saw Demetri and me as her saviors, even if I hadn't been the one to storm into the crappy house and pull her out of the hell hole she'd been caged in. Two years of intensive therapy had only skimmed the surface of her horrors, and I was one of only a few men, mostly the Cullen family, she allowed touch her. Robert had been a surprise, but I was beginning to believe the man could charm any female.

The clapping continued, and some of the participants, who knew Madison's and Sam's stories, stood to honor them. Madison stepped closer to me, her fingers like claws on my arm.

"It's going to be okay," I said softly to her, making sure to let Sam go up the steps first and putting myself to Madison's back.

We went, not to the center stand, but one to the side of the stage. Beside us was a huge red ribbon that had been tied in a bow. It covered the archway connecting the play building to the housing one. Once cut, the attendees would be able to wander over to see the magic Esme had created in the living quarters. Above the doorway was an intricately carved archway with the words New Beginnings carved in it.

Sam was speaking first. At almost eight, she was wise beyond her years . . . an old soul.

Pulling the step stool that had been placed to the side forward, I placed it in front of the stand. Holding my hand, Sam climbed up. Nodding softly, she let me know she was ready, so I stepped back, taking Madison with me. Arranging her cards in front of her, Sam took a deep breath before leaning forward to speak into microphone.

"When I was five years old, I had to go to the hospital. My leg was broken." She brushed her hand along her face. "And I had cuts here. It took a long time for me to get better, but when I did I was alone. I didn't think anyone would want me." She looked up finally at the crowd, finding Edward. He smiled encouragingly at her. Her lips quirked softly before she looked back to what she'd written.

"But I learned I was wrong. Someone did love me, and he introduced me to his family, who became my family. Now, I have sisters and brothers and cousins. So many of them who love me for me. I'm not a mistake. I'm someone who can be loved."

Esme was tearing up and leaned over to rest her head against Carlisle's shoulder. He in turned kissed the top of her head. They loved the two little red headed green eyed girls more than life itself. I pitied anyone who ever tried to hurt Samantha or Madison again.

Having said what she'd decided to say, Sam moved her cards sideways, making sure Madison's were easy to see. She waved her hand at the scared girl beside me. Madison's hand gripped me as tight as she possibly could. "Don't leave me," she whispered.

"I won't," I promised.

I didn't expect her to continue holding my hand when she faced the crowd, but she'd asked me not to leave her, so I allowed our interlinked hands to hang between us. Samantha helped her with the first card.

"My name is Madison." She looked out over the crowd for but a second before tucking her chin to her chest. In doing so, she missed how they reacted, most leaning forward in support, others dabbing at their eyes with napkins. Taking a deep breath, she met Carlisle's gaze. "Madison Cullen," she said with pride, her back straightening and her shoulder going back slightly. "I'm six years old."

Carlisle nodded softly at her before she looked back to the card in front of her. The second one was just a picture. One that made my gut hurt. A stick figure lay on a square. She turned to me, big tears in her eyes, and I shuffled closer to her. Assured I was staying, she spoke. "A bad man hide me in a hole where Mr. Demetri found me." Her eyes cut to find him in the crowd. "He's my hero."

Demetri shook his head, but every eye was focused on the brave girl speaking to them. The next card made me grin. It was a picture of me, and it was actually flattering, if the hearts above the figure's over sized head were taken into consideration.

"But it took Seth . . . " she held our linked hands up for everyone to see " . . . for Mr. Demetri to find me. Seth's my hero too."

The next card was a bunch of stick figures. "They brought me to people who love me. My family." This time Madison smiled at our tables, getting grins from friends and family alike.

The last card was an explosion of happy faces. "And everyone needs a family when they are trying to get better."

This was my cue. Turning the microphone toward me, I remained standing beside the girls. Samantha wrapped her arm around Madison's shoulder giving her a soft squeeze of congratulations.

I'd practiced most of my speech a hundred times, so the words began flowing freely.

"When Madison and Samantha were asked to speak at this ceremony, it was clear to me why. They are the muses behind Edward Cullen's decision to finance New Beginnings. Why they insisted, against better judgment, that I stand here with them today I'll never know." Twin giggles came from beside me, lightening the moment. "Madison and Samantha believe they are in my debt, but in fact, there is no debt to pay. Because in families it isn't about keeping score."

I couldn't help but stop a moment and look at the tables where the Velathris, Cullens, my parents, my sister, and our friends sat. How different our lives were now than that day Carlie and I walked into the Cullens' business. We'd been a family of five then. Now, it seemed I lost count on days.

"This is to be a place for new beginnings, hence the name Madison and Samantha chose. It is an honor to have been asked by these young ladies to join them in this moment, but it wouldn't be right for me to cut the ribbon without the woman who has shared my journey for the past eighteen years." Carlie was grinning at my mother, assuming I was speaking about her. "Carlie would you please come up and help us?"

She jerked, eyes flitting nervously around the table as the family turned to her. In fact, everyone other than my father, mother, Edward, and Aro looked as confused. But as table after table of people shifted to watch, Bella, Esme, Alice, and Rosalie encouraged her to join us. Carlisle's eyes turned speculative, while Emmett and Jasper whistled in encouragement as she rose. Clapping excitedly from Aro's lap, Nia chanted her sister's name as Carlie passed by them. A deep blush stained Carlie's cheeks, but her eyes glittered dangerously, and I started praying hard.

"Don't worry Seth, she's going to love it," Sam 2 said, laughing softly. She stepped closer to the podium where she and Madison had stored one of our surprises.

Gaining my side, Carlie hissed at me. "This was not discussed when you worked on your speech."

I grinned. This was the Carlie I knew, spitting fire and brimstones. I was suddenly very calm.

"Change of plans," I announced softly to her.

To the large group, I continued with my speech. "My grandfather taught me great lessons about life. Things like the grace of love, which is the very emotion we celebrate this day. But he didn't stop there. He instilled in me the worth of wisdom and the limit of knowledge, the belief that what you place in the universe will find its way back to you, and the simple understanding that the merit of the person you are is not that you won't make mistakes, but the way in which you redeem yourself. But the most important thing he taught me is the power of friendship, family, and love. And that is what this facility will give families the ability to do . . . love, honor, and support one another during what must seem the bleakest moments of their lives. Futures will be made here."

"Tonight, this facility will be open officially for everyone here to walk through and be amazed at the creativity and hard work that went into creating it." I couldn't help but grin. "Or at least I hope." Chuckles and laughter echoed throughout the room. "And there is no doubt it is a magical place. One that is filled with bright colors, necessary services, and hidden surprises. One produced by the tears and the sweat of volunteers. One that is the fulfillment of a vision of an amazing group of architects and philanthropists. And it might all seem to be a miracle.

"But I think the true miracles will be seen tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after, when families fill these halls, pushing children in wheelchairs, or coming home to rest and cry because they've had to leave their son or daughter in a hospital bed a mile or two down the road."

I couldn't look at my mom any longer. She was crying. As many times as I'd practiced in front of her, she still couldn't hold it together. Aunt Bella was as bad off, sobbing into Edward's tux jacket. I didn't know if it was the pregnancy hormones making her a basket case, but it was seeing two of the three most important women in my life emotional that caused my eyes to glaze over. Forgetting her irritation at me, Carlie stepped beside me, placing her hand on my back for support.

"And this place, this refuge, will certainly be their safe harbor, their place for hope and love to grow, and their place to add another memory to the beautiful mosaic of their lives."

Taking a deep breath, I forged ahead. "A little over two years ago, my life and family were irrevocably changed in the most wondrous of ways as I was introduced to new cousins and aunts and uncles. Friendships were formed as the sins of past transgressions and misunderstandings withered away in the light of love and forgiveness." Bella's sob carried across the room, and I could hear Carlie's deep unsteady breaths. "Tonight, as we come to the end of our ceremony and the beginning of our celebrations, I asked permission to claim the first miracle within these new walls and to hopefully add one more piece to my mosaic. A tile, so to speak, that would represent a new beginning for me and my family . . . my entire family."

Madison finally let go of my hand, and I reached into my pocket.

Going down on one knee before Carlie, I heard the gasps from the crowd and the ruckus from our family table, as it seemed a dozen lights went off blinding me.

Carlie had frozen, a stunned look on her face as she focused down at me. Madison, the little devil, grabbed the microphone and held it near me as Samantha cradled the bouquet of long stemmed red roses we'd hidden in the podium.

"Carlie Swan-Cullen." My voice cracked, and I had to clear it slightly. "Eighteen years ago, our parents put us in a crib together. There are pictures of you pulling my hair, kicking me in the side, and spitting up on me." Laughter floated around us, but I was focused on the deep green eyes glowing down at me. "There are also ones of us holding hands and snuggling together. You've been by my side for as long as I can remember." I held up the box and heard several whoops of excitement from the audience. "I want you to remain there for the rest of our lives. I promised you when we were six years old that I would lasso a star for you. I won't stop trying, but for now this is as good as I could do." Flipping the blue box open, I took out the canary diamond solitaire and held it up. The lights of the stage caused the stone to twinkle, and for a moment it appeared as if the setting held a star, shimmering in the night. "Carlie, would you please do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my wife?"

Chaos erupted from the family tables, threatening to drown out her answer.

"Yes!" she gasped, falling to her knees to kiss me as the press took pictures, Samantha and Madison danced in glee beside us, and the women of our family rushed the stage, the men only slightly behind.

But it was all lost on Carlie and me, as our world narrowed to the taste of each other's lips and the promise of forever one mosaic piece at a time.

~SOMP~

Hope you enjoyed! And Happy Valentine's Day to everyone.


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